AD Date : 02/18/2009 Duedate: 03/03/2009 HOME GUARD DM-101 TURN-500 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 WHY SELL THI 96/1390 631 485 4 56.5 SEA DOGS 21/1446 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412 SEA DOGS 1/1442 BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405 DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441 2 SPARF! 20/1069 976 855 15 53.3 DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455 CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352 DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456 PARTY ANIMALS 5/591 DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457 OTTO'S PARTS 52/892 5 D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449 70 71 1 49.6 USELESS TOOLS 54/735 ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355 MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439 ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451 3 COLLUSION 97/1426 341 313 4 52.1 KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453 4 SEA DOGS 18/426 62 60 0 50.8 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444 SEA DOGS 51/1440 6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228 460 618 9 42.7 SEA DOGS 36/1450 7 CHILDREN OF 35/1415 638 1060 7 37.6 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM Reflections by the Captain of the Guard Captain of the Guard! It brings tears to an old pirate's eyes. You see, I was once before a captain. I captained a ship in the Trier Sea, in a previous life it seems, surviving off steel and wits and the cargo from the merchant ships of Sunset. Those days are long past, though. What followed were dark times: capture, imprisonment, and a choice, fight for the glory of Sunset in the arena or die at the end of a rope. The result was likely to be the same, as few survive the gladiatorial games, but I took a chance in the arena and here I am. I know that this title of Captain is only honorary, but I am proud to hold it, if only for a cycle. My manager is also proud, or so he tells me, as I am the first warrior under his care to capture a title on the Isle. I issue no challenges and no avoids this cycle. I have no bones to pick with anyone. If Batmun wants a shot, it is his. If not, I am happy to fight whoever they send my way. Goldenbeard REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report. Sit back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis. [I've never tried to put Zontani in a barrel, but it sounds like a good plan.] Hey everybody, watch out for BLOODY BRAINLESS, who flew up 28 points in the rankings after mashing TAVIS CADFALSON like a melon. [Who wants a mashed melon? You get sticky juice and slippery seeds everywhere.] Keep your eye on this beast. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. TAVIS CADFALSON lost to BLOODY BRAINLESS and drops 26 points. It's a proud day for the DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO stable, as their warrior, JAMES MADISON, ascended the Duelmaster's throne. 4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location. Here is other news that is of note. And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid COLLUSION, please raise you hand. Wow. Does HOME GUARD really have that many liars? For those of you who like math, try this one: COLLUSION + Weapons That go Boom = SEA DOGS + Avoid City. Well just about everybody wants a piece of U.S.S. ARIZONA, who was this week's most challenged warrior. Well, it looks like SNOTMAN wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so he went for broke by challenging up 29 points. No guts, no glory. I heard SNOTMAN laughed all the way to the inn as his new point total of 210 was posted in the arena. I guess beating BATMUN really pays! In a mismatch, our friend ROWDY YOBBO of SPARF! got heroic notions and challenged SANDMAN. What did it get it? A 25-30-1 record, that's what. To the crowd's chants of 'Bo-zo bo-zo bo-zo', SANDMAN was taken out by the lower-ranked ROWDY YOBBO. (Maybe it's time to think Dark Arena?). Was it guts or an overtaxed mental capacity that had CATFISH HUNTER challenge up 42 points in the rankings to take on MAKESHIFT ANCHOR? I don't know about you, but when I saw CATFISH HUNTER step out on the sands with MAKESHIFT ANCHOR, I though it was over before it started. Good upset CATFISH HUNTER! Well, it looks like ABBOTT wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so he went for broke by challenging up 37 points. No guts, no glory. Trading many whacks on the head and a loss for 5 recognition points, ABBOTT shows that a guy doesn't have to be good to get places. CAULIFLOWER EARS of OTTO'S PARTS had better have a good reason for challenging down 9 points in a challenge which he won. I thought CAULIFLOWER EARS showed great skill and promise when he defeated HUW AP HUW. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the most interesting, though! [Nah, not really. Nothing happens here but fights, and you see one fight, the others aren't that amazing.] Here's some advice: warriors with little wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle. [Of course, you guys are already here.] Well, there's the manager of the HOME GUARD giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 'They're going to strangle you in the alley?). C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks. And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster We had eighteen fights, five of them involving standbys. There were seven challenges issued and accepted, none of them tv. KNOTHANDLER (21-6555) (19-11-2,56) of SEA DOGS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0- 0,30) of the Louts Local 101. KNOTHANDLER overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout. PRISONER BG11 (99-1620) (7-11-4,26) of DUNGEON CELL 508C fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-0,70) of the Louts Local 101. PRISONER BG11 was viciously subdued by MEAN SPIRIT in an exciting 2 minute fight. PRISONER 0327 (82-40997) (16-16-2,56) of DUNGEON CELL 66 fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-0,30) of the Louts Local 101. PRISONER 0327 slimly won victory over LAKE SAILOR in a 3 minute brawl. PATCH (36-7297) (22-14-0,88) of SEA DOGS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-0,70) of the Louts Local 101. PATCH was vanquished by MEAN SPIRIT in a 1 minute one-sided fray. BILGE RAT (51-5334) (23-5-1,65) of SEA DOGS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0- 0,70) of the Louts Local 101. BILGE RAT handily defeated MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 2 minute bloody uneven fight. To bad Bilge couldn't have fought the Rat Of Unusual Size. That might've been something to see. PHONELESS CORD (54-2018) (24-17-0,72) of USELESS TOOLS fought OWAIN HARLSON (35- 3130) (33-52-1,81) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. PHONELESS CORD demolished OWAIN HARLSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl. CADAL (35-1370) (52-103-4,152) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (70-107-0,141) of JUST BECAUSE. CADAL was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute brutal mismatched conflict. BALLAST (1-7727) (32-43-0,161) of SEA DOGS fought KISSYFUR (67-2187) (29-18- 1,148) of ALL-STAR NANA'S. BALLAST beat KISSYFUR in an exciting 6 minute brutal fight. HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (46-20-3,201) of WHY SELL THIS? fought MATH OP OWAIN (35- 1418) (51-94-1,151) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. HEAD CHEESE vanquished MATH OP OWAIN in an exciting 7 minute gruesome one-sided fight. TAVIS CADFALSON (35-1419) (43-102-3,197) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-2206) (28-27-4,163) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS. TAVIS CADFALSON was vanquished by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute one-sided duel. The challenges: KARATIA (73-3624) (22-9-1,57) of KIWI CONNECTION challenged PORKY PIG (72-5953) (17-7-2,70) of MEAT YOUR MAKER. KARATIA was devastated by PORKY PIG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition. ABBOTT (14-4131) (19-10-2,47) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS challenged PRISONER 0103 (82- 33733) (30-61-0,84) of DUNGEON CELL 21. ABBOTT was bested by PRISONER 0103 in a 2 minute Challenge match. CAULIFLOWER EARS (52-3424) (21-19-0,43) of OTTO'S PARTS challenged HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (23-69-0,34) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. CAULIFLOWER EARS devastated HUW AP HUW in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl. PRISONER 0118 (82-33748) (23-56-0,127) of DUNGEON CELL 24 challenged U.S.S. ARIZONA (34-2643) (27-21-1,124) of D-DAY SQUAD. PRISONER 0118 was devastated by U.S.S. ARIZONA in a 1 minute Challenge contest. CATFISH HUNTER (5-3315) (19-18-1,122) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724) (35-42-0,164) of SEA DOGS. CATFISH HUNTER demolished MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight. ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (24-30-1,113) of SPARF! challenged SANDMAN (97-2610) (23- 10-4,146) of COLLUSION. ROWDY YOBBO subdued SANDMAN in a 2 minute Challenge melee. SNOTMAN (97-2611) (23-10-6,182) of COLLUSION challenged BATMUN (37-2634) (38-17- 0,211) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN. SNOTMAN viciously subdued BATMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight. For the title: GOLDENBEARD (21-6202) (32-7-1,247) of SEA DOGS fought JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (28-17-3,194) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO. GOLDENBEARD was handily defeated by JAMES MADISON in a 1 minute uneven Title melee. Too bad, Goldenbeard, but thanks for the column. Olaf CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY JAMES MADISON 99-1268 29 17 3 220 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY SNOTMAN 97-2611 24 10 6 210 COLLUSION (1426) SHADOW GROVE HEAD CHEESE 96-1920 47 20 3 203 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) OLD VALAMANTIS -LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 28 12 1 202 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS BATMUN 37-2634 38 18 0 191 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355) SIBIKHAS BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206 29 27 4 191 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405) OLD VALAMANTIS GOLDENBEARD 21-6202 32 8 1 190 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BALLAST 1-7727 33 43 0 172 SEA DOGS (1442) MORDANT TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419 43 103 3 171 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418 51 95 1 163 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA GAR & BRILL 38-4252 71 107 0 158 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315 20 18 1 154 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY KISSYFUR 67-2187 29 19 1 149 ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451) BARIKALA ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 25 30 1 143 SPARF! (1069) SEAM -MISS TEAK 1-8015 31 28 1 140 SEA DOGS (1442) MORDANT U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643 28 21 1 137 D-DAY SQUAD (1449) MONUNTIAL CADAL 35-1370 52 104 4 136 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724 35 43 0 134 SEA DOGS (1442) MORDANT SANDMAN 97-2610 23 11 4 125 COLLUSION (1426) SHADOW GROVE -SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272 29 15 1 121 SEA DOGS (426) TALCAMA GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY PRISONER 0118 82--31788 23 57 0 117 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456) DWES EG GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 25 17 0 88 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR PRISONER 0103 82--31803 31 61 0 86 DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455) DWES EG PORKY PIG 72-5953 18 7 2 84 MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439) DRAGONHEAD BILGE RAT 51-5334 24 5 1 81 SEA DOGS (1440) TRICORUS PATCH 36-7297 22 15 0 69 SEA DOGS (1450) JHANS OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130 33 53 1 68 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA KNOTHANDLER 21-6555 20 11 2 60 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET PRISONER 0327 82--24539 17 16 2 58 DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441) DWES EG KARATIA 73-3624 22 10 1 53 KIWI CONNECTION (1453) ERINIKA CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424 22 19 0 52 OTTO'S PARTS (892) FRATSFA ABBOTT 14-4131 19 11 2 52 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444) TOBIR PRISONER BG11 99-1620 7 12 4 32 DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457) SOUTH RIDGE HUW AP HUW 35-3030 23 70 0 27 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE To those we fought -- Good fight. -- We who fought you LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS SNOTMAN viciously subdued BATMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight. ROWDY YOBBO subdued SANDMAN in a 2 minute Challenge melee. CATFISH HUNTER demolished MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight. PRISONER 0118 was devastated by U.S.S. ARIZONA in a 1 minute Challenge contest. CAULIFLOWER EARS devastated HUW AP HUW in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl. ABBOTT was bested by PRISONER 0103 in a 2 minute Challenge match. KARATIA was devastated by PORKY PIG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition. GOLDENBEARD was handily defeated by JAMES MADISON in a 1 minute uneven Title melee. TAVIS CADFALSON was vanquished by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute one-sided duel. HEAD CHEESE vanquished MATH OP OWAIN in a exciting 7 minute gruesome one-sided fight. BALLAST beat KISSYFUR in a exciting 6 minute brutal fight. CADAL was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute brutal mismatched conflict. PHONELESS CORD demolished OWAIN HARLSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl. BILGE RAT handily defeated MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 2 minute bloody uneven fight. PATCH was vanquished by MEAN SPIRIT in a 1 minute one-sided fray. PRISONER 0327 slimly won victory over LAKE SAILOR in a 3 minute brawl. PRISONER BG11 was viciously subdued by MEAN SPIRIT in a exciting 2 minute fight. KNOTHANDLER overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 8 - 1 - 1 89 | |AIMED BLOW 6 PARRY-LUNGE 3 - 1 - 0 75 | |TOTAL PARRY 5 LUNGING ATTACK 34 - 25 - 0 58 | |PARRY-STRIKE 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 4 - 3 - 0 57 | |STRIKING ATTACK 4 PARRY-STRIKE 22 - 19 - 0 54 | |BASHING ATTACK 2 TOTAL PARRY 24 - 22 - 1 52 | |SLASHING ATTACK 1 STRIKING ATTACK 17 - 21 - 0 45 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 WALL OF STEEL 4 - 5 - 0 44 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 BASHING ATTACK 7 - 11 - 0 39 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 AIMED BLOW 8 - 25 - 0 24 | Turn 500 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 4 3 TOTAL PARRY WALL OF STEEL 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 3 2 PARRY-STRIKE TOTAL PARRY 3 - 2 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 2 STRIKING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 3 - 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK BASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME PARRY-STRIKE JAMES MADISON 99-1268 29 17 3 220 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SLASHING ATTACK SNOTMAN 97-2611 24 10 6 210 COLLUSION (1426) TOTAL PARRY HEAD CHEESE 96-1920 47 20 3 203 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) STRIKING ATTACK BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206 29 27 4 191 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405) LUNGING ATTACK GOLDENBEARD 21-6202 32 8 1 190 SEA DOGS (1446) WALL OF STEEL U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643 28 21 1 137 D-DAY SQUAD (1449) BASHING ATTACK CADAL 35-1370 52 104 4 136 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) AIMED BLOW PRISONER 0118 82--31788 23 57 0 117 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456) The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252. The most popular warrior this turn was MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418. The ten other most popular fighters were KISSYFUR 67-2187, SNOTMAN 97-2611, HEAD CHEESE 96-1920, BILGE RAT 51-5334, BALLAST 1-7727, GAR & BRILL 38-4252, BATMUN 37-2634, ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429, CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315, and U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643. The least popular fighter this week was PATCH 36-7297. The other ten least popular fighters were GOLDENBEARD 21-6202, KARATIA 73-3624, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, PRISONER 0118 82--31788, MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724, PRISONER BG11 99-1620, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130, CADAL 35-1370, TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, and JAMES MADISON 99-1268. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K MORDANT(1) 1 1 0 JHANS(36) 0 1 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 1 0 0 KALTOS(5) 1 0 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0 TOBIR(14) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 2 1 0 SEAM(20) 1 0 0 TRICORUS(51) 1 0 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 2 0 0 SUNSET(21) 1 1 0 FRATSFA(52) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0 MONUNTIAL(34) 1 0 0 TROCAR(54) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 1 0 MURSKA(35) 0 5 0 BARIKALA(67) 0 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BALLAST 1-7727 33 43 0 172 SEA DOGS (1442) MORDANT CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315 20 18 1 154 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS ABBOTT 14-4131 19 11 2 52 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444) TOBIR ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 25 30 1 143 SPARF! (1069) SEAM GOLDENBEARD 21-6202 32 8 1 190 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643 28 21 1 137 D-DAY SQUAD (1449) MONUNTIAL TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419 43 103 3 171 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA PATCH 36-7297 22 15 0 69 SEA DOGS (1450) JHANS BATMUN 37-2634 38 18 0 191 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355) SIBIKHAS GAR & BRILL 38-4252 71 107 0 158 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME BILGE RAT 51-5334 24 5 1 81 SEA DOGS (1440) TRICORUS CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424 22 19 0 52 OTTO'S PARTS (892) FRATSFA PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 25 17 0 88 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR KISSYFUR 67-2187 29 19 1 149 ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451) BARIKALA PORKY PIG 72-5953 18 7 2 84 MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439) DRAGONHEAD KARATIA 73-3624 22 10 1 53 KIWI CONNECTION (1453) ERINIKA PRISONER 0118 82--31788 23 57 0 117 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456) DWES EG HEAD CHEESE 96-1920 47 20 3 203 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) OLD VALAMANTIS SNOTMAN 97-2611 24 10 6 210 COLLUSION (1426) SHADOW GROVE TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY JAMES MADISON 99-1268 29 17 3 220 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE