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Date   : 02/18/2009    Duedate: 03/03/2009

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-500

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 WHY SELL THI 96/1390  631  485  4 56.5      SEA DOGS 21/1446                      
    DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412                 SEA DOGS 1/1442                       
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                   DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441               
  2 SPARF! 20/1069        976  855 15 53.3      DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455               
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352                         DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456               
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457             
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/892                       5 D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449    70   71  1 49.6
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                        ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355              
    MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439                     ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451               
  3 COLLUSION 97/1426     341  313  4 52.1      KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453               
  4 SEA DOGS 18/426        62   60  0 50.8      OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444             
    SEA DOGS 51/1440                          6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  460  618  9 42.7
    SEA DOGS 36/1450                          7 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  638 1060  7 37.6

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

Captain of the Guard!

It brings tears to an old pirate's eyes.  You see, I was once before a captain.  I
captained a ship in the Trier Sea, in a previous life it seems, surviving off steel
and wits and the cargo from the merchant ships of Sunset.  Those days are long past,
though.  What followed were dark times: capture, imprisonment, and a choice, fight
for the glory of Sunset in the arena or die at the end of a rope.  The result was
likely to be the same, as few survive the gladiatorial games, but I took a chance in
the arena and here I am.

I know that this title of Captain is only honorary, but I am proud to hold it, if
only for a cycle.  My manager is also proud, or so he tells me, as I am the first
warrior under his care to capture a title on the Isle.

I issue no challenges and no avoids this cycle.  I have no bones to pick with anyone.
If Batmun wants a shot, it is his.  If not, I am happy to fight whoever they send my
way.

Goldenbeard

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  [I've never
tried to put Zontani in a barrel, but it sounds like a good plan.]  Hey everybody,
watch out for BLOODY BRAINLESS, who flew up 28 points in the rankings after mashing
TAVIS CADFALSON like a melon.  [Who wants a mashed melon?  You get sticky juice and
slippery seeds everywhere.]  Keep your eye on this beast.  Ya know, some days it
doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  TAVIS CADFALSON lost to BLOODY BRAINLESS and
drops 26 points.  It's a proud day for the DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO stable, as their
warrior, JAMES MADISON, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  4 out of 5 gladiators
surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't
avoid COLLUSION, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does HOME GUARD really have that many
liars?  For those of you who like math, try this one:  COLLUSION + Weapons That go
Boom = SEA DOGS + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of U.S.S.
ARIZONA, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Well, it looks like SNOTMAN
wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so he went for broke by challenging up 29 points.
No guts, no glory.  I heard SNOTMAN laughed all the way to the inn as his new point
total of 210 was posted in the arena.  I guess beating BATMUN really pays!  In a
mismatch, our friend ROWDY YOBBO of SPARF! got heroic notions and challenged SANDMAN.
What did it get it?  A 25-30-1 record, that's what.  To the crowd's chants of 'Bo-zo
bo-zo bo-zo', SANDMAN was taken out by the lower-ranked ROWDY YOBBO.  (Maybe it's
time to think Dark Arena?).  Was it guts or an overtaxed mental capacity that had
CATFISH HUNTER challenge up 42 points in the rankings to take on MAKESHIFT ANCHOR?  I
don't know about you, but when I saw CATFISH HUNTER step out on the sands with
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR, I though it was over before it started.  Good upset CATFISH HUNTER!
Well, it looks like ABBOTT wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so he went for broke
by challenging up 37 points.  No guts, no glory.  Trading many whacks on the head and
a loss for 5 recognition points, ABBOTT shows that a guy doesn't have to be good to
get places.  CAULIFLOWER EARS of OTTO'S PARTS had better have a good reason for
challenging down 9 points in a challenge which he won.  I thought CAULIFLOWER EARS
showed great skill and promise when he defeated HUW AP HUW.  All right, so I slept
through it!  Big deal!
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the
most interesting, though!  [Nah, not really.  Nothing happens here but fights, and
you see one fight, the others aren't that amazing.]  Here's some advice:  warriors
with little wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.  [Of
course, you guys are already here.]
     Well, there's the manager of the HOME GUARD giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some
tracks.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos),
oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

We had eighteen fights, five of them involving standbys.  There were seven challenges
issued and accepted, none of them tv.

     KNOTHANDLER (21-6555) (19-11-2,56) of SEA DOGS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-
0,30) of the Louts Local 101.  KNOTHANDLER overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1
minute one-sided bout.
     PRISONER BG11 (99-1620) (7-11-4,26) of DUNGEON CELL 508C fought MEAN SPIRIT
(101-5) (0-0-0,70) of the Louts Local 101.  PRISONER BG11 was viciously subdued by
MEAN SPIRIT in an exciting 2 minute fight.
     PRISONER 0327 (82-40997) (16-16-2,56) of DUNGEON CELL 66 fought LAKE SAILOR
(101-2) (0-0-0,30) of the Louts Local 101.  PRISONER 0327 slimly won victory over
LAKE SAILOR in a 3 minute brawl.
     PATCH (36-7297) (22-14-0,88) of SEA DOGS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-0,70)
of the Louts Local 101.  PATCH was vanquished by MEAN SPIRIT in a 1 minute one-sided
fray.
     BILGE RAT (51-5334) (23-5-1,65) of SEA DOGS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-
0,70) of the Louts Local 101.  BILGE RAT handily defeated MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 2
minute bloody uneven fight.  To bad Bilge couldn't have fought the Rat Of Unusual
Size.  That might've been something to see.

     PHONELESS CORD (54-2018) (24-17-0,72) of USELESS TOOLS fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (33-52-1,81) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  PHONELESS CORD demolished OWAIN HARLSON in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
     CADAL (35-1370) (52-103-4,152) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(70-107-0,141) of JUST BECAUSE.  CADAL was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute
brutal mismatched conflict.
     BALLAST (1-7727) (32-43-0,161) of SEA DOGS fought KISSYFUR (67-2187) (29-18-
1,148) of ALL-STAR NANA'S.  BALLAST beat KISSYFUR in an exciting 6 minute brutal
fight.
     HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (46-20-3,201) of WHY SELL THIS? fought MATH OP OWAIN (35-
1418) (51-94-1,151) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  HEAD CHEESE vanquished MATH OP OWAIN in an
exciting 7 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
     TAVIS CADFALSON (35-1419) (43-102-3,197) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought BLOODY
BRAINLESS (96-2206) (28-27-4,163) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS.  TAVIS CADFALSON was
vanquished by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

The challenges:
     KARATIA (73-3624) (22-9-1,57) of KIWI CONNECTION challenged PORKY PIG (72-5953)
(17-7-2,70) of MEAT YOUR MAKER.  KARATIA was devastated by PORKY PIG in a 1 minute
one-sided Challenge competition.
     ABBOTT (14-4131) (19-10-2,47) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS challenged PRISONER 0103 (82-
33733) (30-61-0,84) of DUNGEON CELL 21.  ABBOTT was bested by PRISONER 0103 in a 2
minute Challenge match.
     CAULIFLOWER EARS (52-3424) (21-19-0,43) of OTTO'S PARTS challenged HUW AP HUW
(35-3030) (23-69-0,34) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  CAULIFLOWER EARS devastated HUW AP HUW
in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
     PRISONER 0118 (82-33748) (23-56-0,127) of DUNGEON CELL 24 challenged U.S.S.
ARIZONA (34-2643) (27-21-1,124) of D-DAY SQUAD.  PRISONER 0118 was devastated by
U.S.S. ARIZONA in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
     CATFISH HUNTER (5-3315) (19-18-1,122) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged MAKESHIFT
ANCHOR (1-7724) (35-42-0,164) of SEA DOGS.  CATFISH HUNTER demolished MAKESHIFT
ANCHOR in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight.
     ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (24-30-1,113) of SPARF! challenged SANDMAN (97-2610) (23-
10-4,146) of COLLUSION.  ROWDY YOBBO subdued SANDMAN in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
     SNOTMAN (97-2611) (23-10-6,182) of COLLUSION challenged BATMUN (37-2634) (38-17-
0,211) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN.  SNOTMAN viciously subdued BATMUN in a crowd pleasing 3
minute Challenge fight.

For the title:
     GOLDENBEARD (21-6202) (32-7-1,247) of SEA DOGS fought JAMES MADISON (99-1268)
(28-17-3,194) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO.  GOLDENBEARD was handily defeated by JAMES
MADISON in a 1 minute uneven Title melee.  Too bad, Goldenbeard, but thanks for the
column.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       29  17  3  220  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             24  10  6  210  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         47  20  3  203  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     28  12  1  202  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 BATMUN 37-2634              38  18  0  191  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    29  27  4  191  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         32   8  1  190  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALLAST 1-7727              33  43  0  172  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     43 103  3  171  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       51  95  1  163  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         71 107  0  158  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315       20  18  1  154  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            29  19  1  149  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         25  30  1  143  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
-MISS TEAK 1-8015            31  28  1  140  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      28  21  1  137  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 CADAL 35-1370               52 104  4  136  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     35  43  0  134  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 SANDMAN 97-2610             23  11  4  125  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
-SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      29  15  1  121  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     23  57  0  117  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      25  17  0   88  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     31  61  0   86  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           18   7  2   84  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           24   5  1   81  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 PATCH 36-7297               22  15  0   69  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       33  53  1   68  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         20  11  2   60  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 PRISONER 0327 82--24539     17  16  2   58  DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441)     DWES EG
 KARATIA 73-3624             22  10  1   53  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424    22  19  0   52  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19  11  2   52  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 PRISONER BG11 99-1620        7  12  4   32  DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457)   SOUTH RIDGE
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          23  70  0   27  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

To those we fought -- Good fight. -- We who fought you

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SNOTMAN viciously subdued BATMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight.
ROWDY YOBBO subdued SANDMAN in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
CATFISH HUNTER demolished MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PRISONER 0118 was devastated by U.S.S. ARIZONA in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
CAULIFLOWER EARS devastated HUW AP HUW in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
ABBOTT was bested by PRISONER 0103 in a 2 minute Challenge match.
KARATIA was devastated by PORKY PIG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
GOLDENBEARD was handily defeated by JAMES MADISON in a 1 minute uneven Title melee.
TAVIS CADFALSON was vanquished by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HEAD CHEESE vanquished MATH OP OWAIN in a exciting 7 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
BALLAST beat KISSYFUR in a exciting 6 minute brutal fight.
CADAL was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute brutal mismatched conflict.
PHONELESS CORD demolished OWAIN HARLSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
BILGE RAT handily defeated MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 2 minute bloody uneven fight.
PATCH was vanquished by MEAN SPIRIT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
PRISONER 0327 slimly won victory over LAKE SAILOR in a 3 minute brawl.
PRISONER BG11 was viciously subdued by MEAN SPIRIT in a exciting 2 minute fight.
KNOTHANDLER overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -   1 -  1      89  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   1 -  0      75  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    34 -  25 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   3 -  0      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE      22 -  19 -  0      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       24 -  22 -  1      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -  21 -  0      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  11 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         AIMED BLOW         8 -  25 -  0      24  |

Turn 500 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  4         3  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     JAMES MADISON 99-1268      29  17  3  220 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNOTMAN 97-2611            24  10  6  210 COLLUSION (1426)
TOTAL PARRY      HEAD CHEESE 96-1920        47  20  3  203 WHY SELL THIS? (1390)
STRIKING ATTACK  BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206   29  27  4  191 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOLDENBEARD 21-6202        32   8  1  190 SEA DOGS (1446)
WALL OF STEEL    U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643     28  21  1  137 D-DAY SQUAD (1449)
BASHING ATTACK   CADAL 35-1370              52 104  4  136 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
AIMED BLOW       PRISONER 0118 82--31788    23  57  0  117 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418.  The ten other most popular fighters were KISSYFUR 
67-2187, SNOTMAN 97-2611, HEAD CHEESE 96-1920, BILGE RAT 51-5334, BALLAST 1-7727, GAR 
& BRILL 38-4252, BATMUN 37-2634, ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429, CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315, and 
U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643.

The least popular fighter this week was PATCH 36-7297.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GOLDENBEARD 21-6202, KARATIA 73-3624, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, PRISONER 0118 
82--31788, MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724, PRISONER BG11 99-1620, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130, 
CADAL 35-1370, TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, and JAMES MADISON 99-1268.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  1 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  0 0  DWES EG(82)          2  1 0  
SEAM(20)             1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  FRATSFA(52)          1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  1 0  
MONUNTIAL(34)        1  0 0  TROCAR(54)           1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  
MURSKA(35)           0  5 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALLAST 1-7727              33  43  0  172  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315       20  18  1  154  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19  11  2   52  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         25  30  1  143  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         32   8  1  190  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      28  21  1  137  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     43 103  3  171  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PATCH 36-7297               22  15  0   69  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 BATMUN 37-2634              38  18  0  191  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         71 107  0  158  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           24   5  1   81  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424    22  19  0   52  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      25  17  0   88  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            29  19  1  149  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           18   7  2   84  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 KARATIA 73-3624             22  10  1   53  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     23  57  0  117  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         47  20  3  203  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             24  10  6  210  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       29  17  3  220  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE