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Date   : 03/04/2009    Duedate: 03/17/2009

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-501

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 WHY SELL THI 96/1390  634  485  4 56.7      ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451               
    DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412                 KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453               
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                   OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444             
  2 SPARF! 20/1069        977  856 15 53.3    5 SEA DOGS 1/1442        66   67  0 49.6
    MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439                     SEA DOGS 36/1450                      
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         SEA DOGS 21/1446                      
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/892                         DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441               
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                        SEA DOGS 51/1440                      
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352                         DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455               
  3 COLLUSION 97/1426     342  314  4 52.1      DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456               
  4 D-DAY SQUAD 12/1443    74   73  1 50.3      DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457             
    ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355                  6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  460  619  9 42.6
    D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449                       7 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  641 1062  7 37.6

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Seems like Alarond expected to meet some friendly fiends, or possibly fiendish
friends, here today.  If there are any such around, don't speak up.  I don't want to
hear about it.
     My thanks to whoever it was besides the Children of Llyr who spoke up today,
sorry I don't remember, but they say memory is the second thing to go, you know.  And
it's gone.
     The action here today was short, and as sweet as such action ever is.  Seventeen
fights, four standbys, one lone challenge.
     Collusion was Most Avoided by Chapel Rock.  Though Alarond doesn't mention it,
Owain Harlson probably got the most (one) challenges.

     KNOTHANDLER (21-6555) (20-11-2,60) of SEA DOGS fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3) (0-0-
0,30) of Tired Old Standbys.  KNOTHANDLER overpowered B&G BOUNCER in an exciting 1
minute one-sided bout.  Tied him in knots.
     HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (23-70-0,27) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought JETSAM (1-8172)
(18-17-1,72) of SEA DOGS.  HUW AP HUW overpowered JETSAM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute
mismatched brawl.  Bit of a surprise for Jetsam, eh?
     PATCH (36-7297) (22-15-0,69) of SEA DOGS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-0,30)
of Tired Old Standbys.  PATCH was overpowered by LAKE SAILOR in an action packed 1
minute uneven struggle.  Takes one to fight one?
     BILGE RAT (51-5334) (24-5-1,81) of SEA DOGS fought ABBOTT (14-4131) (19-11-2,52)
of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS.  BILGE RAT handily defeated ABBOTT in a 1 minute uneven fight.
Ah, rats.  Dangerous creatures, rats.
     PRISONER BG11 (99-1620) (7-12-4,32) of DUNGEON CELL 508C fought PANZER GROUP XIV
(12-2435) (15-12-0,77) of D-DAY SQUAD.  PRISONER BG11 was subdued by PANZER GROUP XIV
in a popular 1 minute bloody brawl.  This does nothing for me, so I'll just
congratulate Panzer on his victory and keep going.

     PRISONER 0103 (82-33733) (31-61-0,86) of DUNGEON CELL 21 fought KARATIA (73-
3624) (22-10-1,53) of KIWI CONNECTION.  PRISONER 0103 devastated KARATIA in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.  What is there to say about these prisoners?
They never talk, so we have no clues to work from.
     PRISONER 0327 (82-40997) (17-16-2,58) of DUNGEON CELL 66 fought B&G BOUNCER
(101-3) (0-0-0,30) of Tired Old Standbys.  PRISONER 0327 defeated B&G BOUNCER in an 
exciting 3 minute match.  He was tired.  The Bouncer.
     CADAL (35-1370) (52-104-4,136) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought KISSYFUR (67-2187)
(29-19-1,149) of ALL-STAR NANA'S.  CADAL was overpowered by KISSYFUR in a 1 minute
one-sided melee.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this Kissyfur male?  I didn't
think Cadal was that kind of guy.
     MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724) (35-43-0,134) of SEA DOGS fought SANDMAN (97-2610)
(23-11-4,125) of COLLUSION.  MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was viciously subdued by SANDMAN in a
popular 4 minute gory duel.  What, was Sandman a "makeshift bottom" so the anchor
wouldn't hold?
     TAVIS CADFALSON (35-1419) (43-103-3,171) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought PRISONER
0118 (82-33748) (23-57-0,117) of DUNGEON CELL 24.  TAVIS CADFALSON viciously subdued
PRISONER 0118 in an action packed 2 minute gory duel.  Anybody surprised?

     GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (71-107-0,158) of JUST BECAUSE fought U.S.S. ARIZONA (34-
2643) (28-21-1,137) of D-DAY SQUAD.  GAR & BRILL was defeated by U.S.S. ARIZONA in an
action packed 1 minute melee.  Okay.  And?
     BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-2206) (29-27-4,191) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS fought BALLAST (1-
7727) (33-43-0,172) of SEA DOGS.  BLOODY BRAINLESS overpowered BALLAST in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.  Figures.
     HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (47-20-3,203) of WHY SELL THIS? fought MATH OP OWAIN (35-
1418) (51-95-1,163) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  HEAD CHEESE bested MATH OP OWAIN in an
action packed 5 minute brawl.  Five minutes?  Sleeping on the job, Head Cheese?
     LONDON QUIREBOY (59-2513) (28-12-1,202) of CHAPEL ROCK fought AYLIAN (101-23)
(0-0-0,181) of Tired Old Standbys.  LONDON QUIREBOY defeated AYLIAN in an exciting 2
minute fight.  This is "loafing on the job" or something, right?  Go for it.
     BATMUN (37-2634) (38-18-0,191) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN fought GOLDENBEARD (21-6202)
(32-8-1,190) of SEA DOGS.  BATMUN defeated GOLDENBEARD in a crowd pleasing 5 minute
bloody duel.  Way it goes, Goldenbeard, you lose and everyone forgets you.

The challenge match:
     PORKY PIG (72-5953) (18-7-2,84) of MEAT YOUR MAKER challenged OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (33-53-1,68) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Down 16.  PORKY PIG was unbelievably bested
by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute Challenge fight.  Believe it.

For the title:
     JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (29-17-3,220) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO fought SNOTMAN (97-
2611) (24-10-6,210) of COLLUSION.  JAMES MADISON demolished SNOTMAN in a 1 minute
one-sided Title melee.  No changes.

See you in two weeks,
                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       30  17  3  237  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BATMUN 37-2634              39  18  0  211  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         48  20  3  205  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     29  12  1  205  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    30  27  4  197  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         32   9  1  193  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             24  11  6  193  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       51  96  1  177  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     44 103  3  173  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 BALLAST 1-7727              33  44  0  168  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            30  19  1  157  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      29  21  1  154  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315       20  18  1  154  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         71 108  0  145  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         25  30  1  143  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
-MISS TEAK 1-8015            31  28  1  140  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 SANDMAN 97-2610             24  11  4  138  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 CADAL 35-1370               52 105  4  132  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     35  44  0  128  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     23  58  0  126  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     32  61  0   95  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           25   5  1   89  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       34  53  1   88  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      25  17  0   88  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-BULLPEN ACE 47-5907         22  13  3   82  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 PANZER GROUP XIV 12-2435    16  12  0   79  D-DAY SQUAD (1443)         RIZTAB
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           18   8  2   72  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          24  70  0   64  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         21  11  2   63  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
-HEART BREAKER 26-4752       18   8  0   62  ULTRA-VIOLENT (1458)       CALEAM
 PRISONER 0327 82--24539     18  16  2   60  DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441)     DWES EG
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19  12  2   54  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
-CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424    22  19  0   52  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 KARATIA 73-3624             22  11  1   51  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PATCH 36-7297               22  16  0   39  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 JETSAM 1-8172               18  18  1   39  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 PRISONER BG11 99-1620        7  13  4   39  DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457)   SOUTH RIDGE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Tavis Cadalfson -- Ooh, many thanks, I now get to change my training routine and
stagnate for a while -- London Quireboy

Abbott -- Ss, ss, sssaayyy, who's on first --  Pp, pp, pporky, PP, pp, ppppigg

To those whom we fought -- Nothing personal, because there are no personals, I guess,
but we're getting tired.  Jorja tells us that we can retire at the upcoming Split,
and she'll "move some REAL puds in here."  We're sorry for those puds, but so long as
it isn't us, we say go for it. -- the Children of Llyr

Cauliflower Ears -- Maybe there'll be cooking gladiators later, and they'll know what
to do with you.  I haven't a clue.  Cheese sauce? -- Huw ap Huw

Bloody Brainless -- And bloody repetitious.  We're really tired. -- Tavis Cadfalson

Head Cheese -- I've got an alternate question for your manager, Why harp on this? --
Math op Owain

Gar & Brill -- Old faces that should have been retired years ago. -- Cadal
P.S.  Both of us.

Phoneless Cord -- Oh, I dunno, you could use it to strangle someone in an alley. --
Owain Harlson

Goldenbeard -- You were a credit to your title. -- the Children of Llyr

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PORKY PIG was unbelievably bested by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
JAMES MADISON demolished SNOTMAN in a 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
BATMUN defeated GOLDENBEARD in a crowd pleasing 5 minute bloody duel.
LONDON QUIREBOY defeated AYLIAN in a exciting 2 minute fight.
HEAD CHEESE bested MATH OP OWAIN in a action packed 5 minute brawl.
BLOODY BRAINLESS overpowered BALLAST in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
GAR & BRILL was defeated by U.S.S. ARIZONA in a action packed 1 minute melee.
TAVIS CADFALSON viciously subdued PRISONER 0118 in a action packed 2 minute gory duel.
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was viciously subdued by SANDMAN in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
CADAL was overpowered by KISSYFUR in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
PRISONER 0327 defeated B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 3 minute match.
PRISONER 0103 devastated KARATIA in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.
PRISONER BG11 was subdued by PANZER GROUP XIV in a popular 1 minute bloody brawl.
BILGE RAT handily defeated ABBOTT in a 1 minute uneven fight.
PATCH was overpowered by LAKE SAILOR in a action packed 1 minute uneven struggle.
HUW AP HUW overpowered JETSAM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
KNOTHANDLER overpowered B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       6         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   2 -  1      78  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    34 -  25 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  21 -  1      55  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  19 -  0      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      21 -  20 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   3 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  12 -  0      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         AIMED BLOW        10 -  28 -  0      26  |

Turn 501 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         2 -  4         3  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     JAMES MADISON 99-1268      30  17  3  237 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412)
TOTAL PARRY      BATMUN 37-2634             39  18  0  211 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)
WALL OF STEEL    LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513    29  12  1  205 CHAPEL ROCK (1352)
STRIKING ATTACK  BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206   30  27  4  197 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOLDENBEARD 21-6202        32   9  1  193 SEA DOGS (1446)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNOTMAN 97-2611            24  11  6  193 COLLUSION (1426)
BASHING ATTACK   CADAL 35-1370              52 105  4  132 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
AIMED BLOW       PRISONER 0118 82--31788    23  58  0  126 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GOLDENBEARD 21-6202.  The ten other most popular fighters were MATH OP OWAIN 
35-1418, SANDMAN 97-2610, TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, BATMUN 37-2634, LONDON QUIREBOY 
59-2513, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, HEAD CHEESE 96-1920, BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206, GAR & 
BRILL 38-4252, and MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724.

The least popular fighter this week was ABBOTT 14-4131.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CADAL 35-1370, SNOTMAN 97-2611, JETSAM 1-8172, PATCH 36-7297, PRISONER 
BG11 99-1620, PRISONER 0118 82--31788, KARATIA 73-3624, BALLAST 1-7727, JAMES MADISON 
99-1268, and BILGE RAT 51-5334.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  3 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          2  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
MONUNTIAL(34)        1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  1 0  
MURSKA(35)           3  2 0  BARIKALA(67)         1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALLAST 1-7727              33  44  0  168  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 PANZER GROUP XIV 12-2435    16  12  0   79  D-DAY SQUAD (1443)         RIZTAB
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19  12  2   54  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         32   9  1  193  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      29  21  1  154  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       51  96  1  177  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PATCH 36-7297               22  16  0   39  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 BATMUN 37-2634              39  18  0  211  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         71 108  0  145  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           25   5  1   89  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     29  12  1  205  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            30  19  1  157  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           18   8  2   72  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 KARATIA 73-3624             22  11  1   51  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     23  58  0  126  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         48  20  3  205  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             24  11  6  193  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       30  17  3  237  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE