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Date   : 07/22/2009    Duedate: 08/04/2009

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-511

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 DEAD PRESIDE 99/1412  646  491  6 56.8    4 COLLUSION 97/1426     354  320  4 52.5
  2 SEA DOGS 18/426       154  122  0 55.8    5 D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449    85   96  1 47.0
    SEA DOGS 36/1450                            ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355              
    DUNGEON CELL 94 82/1469                     100% NATURAL GROOVE 20/1445           
    SEA DOGS 21/1446                            ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451               
    DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455                     D-DAY SQUAD 12/1443                   
    SEA DOGS 1/1442                             KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453               
    DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441                     OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444             
    DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456                   6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  461  628  9 42.3
    SEA DOGS 9/1468                           7 MID EARTH 29/529       19   26  0 42.2
    DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457                   VABOROUGHS 40/1465                    
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                        MASTERS OF SAND 2/1463                
  3-SPARF! 20/1069       1003  873 16 53.5      SORCERY COVENANT 3/255                
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                           YAMA BUSHI 30/275                     
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                        WIZARD'S WRATH 5/1464                 
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                        8 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  658 1095  7 37.5
    DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221                   9 ULTRA-VIOLEN 26/1458    2    5  1 28.6
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352                   

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

I'm not sure there's much to talk about today, and I picked up a nasty mildew at the
tourney that I need to have treated, so I'll just give the high points and leave the
rest for the golem.  Twenty-one fights, with five standbys.  Two were exciting but
none were action-packed.  Two challenges, no avoids.

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in HOME
GUARD.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Hey
everybody, watch out for DECK APE, who flew up 41 points in the rankings after
mashing HAMILTON like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it
doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  TAVIS CADFALSON was defeated by KNOTHANDLER
and drops 34 points.  Well, if ya don't shows up at the laundromat, ya can'ts wash
yer clothes.  LONDON QUIREBOY did not fight this week so his title was forfeit.  It's
a proud day for the DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO stable, as their warrior, JAMES MADISON,
ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body,
so try and avoid aiming at that location.
     Here is other news that is of note.  And who is this SHEWISH WHALER you ask,
with 193 points and a 38-16-1 record.  Ooh, the tales I could tell!  SNOTMAN of
COLLUSION had better have a good reason for challenging down 10 points in a challenge
which he won.  I thought SNOTMAN showed great skill and promise when he bested
SHEWISH WHALER.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and
take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens.
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in HOME GUARD have no
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some
tracks.  Hasta la bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown
Spymaster

Longest fight:
BATMUN (37-2634) (40-22-0,193) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN fought MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724)
(39-49-0,162) of SEA DOGS.  BATMUN was savagely defeated by MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a
unpopular 14 minute competition.

HEART BREAKER (26-4752) (19-13-1,62) of ULTRA-VIOLENT challenged OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (37-59-1,66) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Up 4.  HEART BREAKER handily defeated OWAIN
HARLSON in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge match.

SNOTMAN (97-2611) (28-15-6,209) of COLLUSION challenged SHEWISH WHALER (18-9272) (38-
15-1,199) of SEA DOGS.  Down 10.  SNOTMAN devastated SHEWISH WHALER in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge fight.

JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (35-21-3,201) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO fought TARCIL (29-2286)
(24-21-0,175) of MID EARTH.  JAMES MADISON assassinated TARCIL in a 1 minute one-
sided Title struggle.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       36  21  4  233  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     34  15  1  236  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             29  15  6  232  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 SANDMAN 97-2610             31  13  4  219  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MISS TEAK 1-8015            39  30  1  200  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 HORTATOR 1-7791             34  35  3  200  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
-DON KING 47-5374            27  22  3  199  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      38  16  1  193  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     40  49  0  191  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      32  18  0  186  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         28  34  1  184  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     40  63  0  175  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG
 TARCIL 29-2286              24  22  0  175  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
-KISSYFUR 67-2187            32  23  1  173  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 BALLAST 1-7727              38  49  0  171  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 BATMUN 37-2634              40  23  0  169  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      32  24  1  167  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 PATCH 36-7297               31  17  0  161  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          32  22  1  148  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       56 101  1  144  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     28  63  0  144  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 CADAL 35-1370               55 112  4  138  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         72 117  0  131  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         29  13  2  130  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
-BISMARCK 34-2400            27  21  2  123  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 YARIBUSHISAN 30-971         19  33  1  116  YAMA BUSHI (275)           IAYE
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     46 111  3  113  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-BANDAGED HAND 20-2765       13   5  2  108  100% NATURAL GROOVE (1445) SEAM
 POOP DECK GUY 1-8274        16  11  2  101  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      25  22  0  100  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 ARONWE 29-4883              26  17  0   98  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DECK APE 18-9678            18  11  2   91  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          28  76  0   88  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   25  10  1   83  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 JETSAM 1-8172               21  25  1   82  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
-FHRAIN 29-5124              18   7  2   82  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
-GUT BUSTER 26-4750          22  11  0   77  ULTRA-VIOLENT (1458)       CALEAM
 HEART BREAKER 26-4752       20  13  1   75  ULTRA-VIOLENT (1458)       CALEAM
 PRISONER 0469 82--15880     21   9  1   73  DUNGEON CELL 94 (1469)     DWES EG
-PANZER GROUP XIV 12-2435    16  14  0   71  D-DAY SQUAD (1443)         RIZTAB
 KARATIA 73-3624             25  14  1   70  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 HEMPEN JIG 9-5388           18   8  1   70  SEA DOGS (1468)            ZUKAL
-ELWERTH 3-4127              22  18  1   64  SORCERY COVENANT (255)     OSKSI
 ABBOTT 14-4131              20  17  2   62  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       37  60  1   56  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     18   5  2   54  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 PRISONER 0327 82--24539     24  20  2   53  DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441)     DWES EG
-KEEL HAULER 9-5389          17   1  0   52  SEA DOGS (1468)            ZUKAL
-CALMACIL 29-3009            15  14  0   41  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
 PRISONER BG11 99-1620       10  20  4   26  DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457)   SOUTH RIDGE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
TARCIL 29-2286            24  22  0 MID EARTH 529          JAMES MADISON 99-1268     511

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Yaribushisan -- That name is a mouthful, but then, it's foreign.  Mine could well
seem a mouthful to someone from your linguistic background.  And yes, that's a
totally irrelevant comment, but you will find that if you get a personal at all here,
it'll probably be from us and fairly irrelevant.  The more years we spend doing this,
the more difficult it is to find anything to say. -- Math op Owain

Calmacil -- Great stuff, calmacil.  I use it when I find too much salsa upsetting my
stomach. -- Huw ap Huw

Bismarck -- Input error?  That seems an unlikely weapon for you. -- Tavis Cadfalson

Surly Deckhand -- Ah, you're an orc.  That explains the mood. -- Cadal

Knothandler -- Huh, this place is really going to the (sea) dogs lately! -- Owain
Harlson

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SNOTMAN devastated SHEWISH WHALER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
HEART BREAKER handily defeated OWAIN HARLSON in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge match.
SANDMAN vanquished OSWALD ORC in a popular 2 minute gory mismatched brawl.
BATMUN was savagely defeated by MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a unpopular 14 minute competition.
JAMES MADISON assassinated TARCIL in a 1 minute one-sided Title struggle.
MISS TEAK overpowered PAUL ATREIDES in a 1 minute uneven melee.
HORTATOR vanquished U.S.S. ARIZONA in a popular 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
PRISONER 0103 viciously subdued NINJA FERD in a popular 3 minute brutal fight.
BALLAST overcame YARIBUSHISAN in a popular 6 minute bout.
PATCH demolished CADAL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
MATH OP OWAIN demolished ARONWE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
GAR & BRILL was beaten by PRISONER 0118 in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory conflict.
TAVIS CADFALSON was vanquished by KNOTHANDLER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
POOP DECK GUY handily defeated ABBOTT in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HAMILTON was devastated by DECK APE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HUW AP HUW beat HEMPEN JIG in a exciting 4 minute match.
PRISONER BG11 was savagely defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a popular 3 minute bloody match.
PITER DEVRIES was outwaited by JETSAM in a popular 7 minute contest.
CHATTY CABALIST was defeated by KARATIA in a exciting 1 minute duel.
PRISONER 0469 beat B&G BOUNCER in a 2 minute gruesome fray.
PRISONER 0327 overcame LAKE SAILOR in a popular 4 minute contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       7         LUNGING ATTACK    52 -  25 -  0      68  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  10 -  0      57  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         AIMED BLOW        41 -  33 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         WALL OF STEEL      9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-STRIKE      25 -  23 -  1      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         TOTAL PARRY       20 -  20 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   9 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -  31 -  2      28  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   8 -  1      20  |

Turn 511 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  4         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
AIMED BLOW         5 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     JAMES MADISON 99-1268      36  21  4  233 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNOTMAN 97-2611            29  15  6  232 COLLUSION (1426)
LUNGING ATTACK   MISS TEAK 1-8015           39  30  1  200 SEA DOGS (1442)
BASHING ATTACK   HORTATOR 1-7791            34  35  3  200 SEA DOGS (1442)
TOTAL PARRY      MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724    40  49  0  191 SEA DOGS (1442)
AIMED BLOW       PRISONER 0103 82--31803    40  63  0  175 DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)
STRIKING ATTACK  TARCIL 29-2286             24  22  0  175 MID EARTH (529)
WALL OF STEEL    U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643     32  24  1  167 D-DAY SQUAD (1449)
PARRY-LUNGE      YARIBUSHISAN 30-971        19  33  1  116 YAMA BUSHI (275)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The ten other most popular fighters were PRISONER 0103 
82--31803, YARIBUSHISAN 30-971, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, SANDMAN 97-2610, PRISONER 0118 
82--31788, PITER DEVRIES 2-5392, BALLAST 1-7727, HEMPEN JIG 9-5388, PRISONER 0327 
82--24539, and SNOTMAN 97-2611.

The least popular fighter this week was BATMUN 37-2634.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724, HAMILTON 40-2360, ABBOTT 14-4131, TAVIS 
CADFALSON 35-1419, ARONWE 29-4883, CADAL 35-1370, PAUL ATREIDES 2-5393, OWAIN HARLSON 
35-3130, CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488, and TARCIL 29-2286.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           6  0 0  LAPUR(29)            0  2 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  2 0  IAYE(30)             0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  MONUNTIAL(34)        0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           2  3 0  DWES EG(82)          4  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  1 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 1  
CALEAM(26)           1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MISS TEAK 1-8015            39  30  1  200  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 HEMPEN JIG 9-5388           18   8  1   70  SEA DOGS (1468)            ZUKAL
 ABBOTT 14-4131              20  17  2   62  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      38  16  1  193  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         29  13  2  130  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 HEART BREAKER 26-4752       20  13  1   75  ULTRA-VIOLENT (1458)       CALEAM
 TARCIL 29-2286              24  22  0  175  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
 YARIBUSHISAN 30-971         19  33  1  116  YAMA BUSHI (275)           IAYE
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      32  24  1  167  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       56 101  1  144  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PATCH 36-7297               31  17  0  161  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 BATMUN 37-2634              40  23  0  169  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         72 117  0  131  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     18   5  2   54  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 KARATIA 73-3624             25  14  1   70  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     40  63  0  175  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             29  15  6  232  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       36  21  4  233  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

     For those of you who keep track of such things, 15 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.  

                     WHITE THUNDER (4-6040) TRIBAL COUNCIL  (120) 
                       SISONGOEN (12-5168) LUROCIANS IV  (438) 
                JUMPINJACK FLASH (13-5143) PERFECTION QUEST 13  (527) 
                  HARD DAYS KNIGHT (38-2369) BUBBA LOVES CHESS  (193) 
                     POWDERED SOAP (82-2837) MY BUTT HURTS  (392) 
                    HICHAM (82-18389) SUPERIOR FORCES 1306  (2829) 
                    DEADLA (82-20623) SUPERIOR FORCES 3201  (2263) 
                  CLEVELAND STEAMER (82-25002) OHIO EXPRESS  (3993) 
                   YELLOW POST-IT (82-26131) WORK WITH THIS  (4213) 
                  CHARLOTTE (82-29266) SUPERIOR FORCES 3402  (4771) 
                    YELLOW BRICK TOAD (82-32755) 12/19/04J  (5407) 
                    SOULSNARE (82-37248) OBLIVION CLEAVERS  (6167) 
                      MARV (82-41424) 4-LETTER KNOCKOFFS  (6915) 
                   KAORU MOTO (82-48418) MEDAL OF HONOR AA1  (2722) 
                       RENTAL PERMIT (82-51256) 101607C  (8628) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes