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Date   : 12/08/2010    Duedate: 12/21/2010

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-547

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 SEA DOGS 1/1442       516  363  5 58.7      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                    
    SEA DOGS 51/1440                            DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221               
    SEA DOGS 18/426                             NOT QUITE 59/1237                     
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                      3 SERPENTS HOL 21/1499   48   42  0 53.3
    SEA DOGS 21/1446                            YOU PAY I SLAY 8/1500                 
    SEA DOGS 9/1468                             DRAGON'S GUARD V 84/1489              
    DUNGEON CELL 4 82/1487                      ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495            
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                     SERPENT'S HOLD 46/445                 
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 98/1498                
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                          4-WE BIG WOHPUM 3/379    85   93  1 47.8
  2-SPARF! 20/1069       1057  918 16 53.5    5 BUMS 'R' US 60/1142    89  114  0 43.8
    MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439                     JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209                 
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                      6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  469  656 10 41.7
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                       7 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  715 1190  8 37.5
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/892                       8 DARK AT HEAR 21/1496    2    6  0 25.0
    HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Listen, you guys, things are BAD.  You need to decide:  support Home Guard or
ask the Commission to pull the plug.  We only had thirteen fights, five of them
involving standbys, and no challenges at all.  Can an advanced arena live like this?
I don't think so.  But, until burial or revival, here's a report:

     Thirteen fights, five standbys, no challenges, apparently no avoids, either.
So, no most challenged, no most avoided.
     Fly Fisher had the largest point gain at twenty-four.  Prisoner R02 had the
biggest drop at thirty-eight.

     SURLY DECKHAND (21-6568) (38-44-1,84) of SEA DOGS fought DEAD LEE (8-3142) (11-
3-0,58) of YOU PAY I SLAY.  SURLY DECKHAND was viciously subdued by DEAD LEE in a
crowd pleasing 2 minute bout.  Viciously subdued, yes, slain, no.
     STARGAZER (35-4130) (14-5-1,48) of SEA DOGS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-
0,30) of Nobody in Particular.  STARGAZER was handily defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a 1
minute one-sided contest.  Embarrassing, yes?
     PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (22-46-1,49) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought B&G BOUNCER
(101-3) (0-0-0,30) of Nobody in Particular.  PRISONER 0484 savagely defeated B&G
BOUNCER in an exciting 2 minute bloody match.  And less embarrassing.
     PRISONER R02 (82-51078) (29-39-1,85) of DUNGEON CELL 4 fought LAKE SAILOR (101-
2) (0-0-0,30) of Nobody in Particular.  PRISONER R02 was overpowered by LAKE SAILOR
in a 2 minute one-sided melee.  And most embarrassing of all, leading to the largest
drop in recognition.
     MIRAGE (84-10230) (22-14-1,88) of DRAGON'S GUARD V fought FLY FISHER (21-6727)
(29-9-1,70) of SEA DOGS.  MIRAGE was vanquished by FLY FISHER in a popular 1 minute
one-sided duel.  This win, which looks like it should have been one-sided the other
way, led to the largest point gain.
     DOMINION (98-2058) (7-12-3,46) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 fought DISEASE (21-6827) (18-
20-2,76) of DARK AT HEART.  DOMINION slimly won victory over DISEASE in a crowd
boring 13 minute gory duel.  So, Dominion, was it the orange juice, or the chicken
soup?

     HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (35-104-1,119) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought FAST-FINGERS FRED
(101-7) (0-0-0,110) of Nobody in Particular.  HUW AP HUW defeated FAST-FINGERS FRED
in an action packed 3 minute melee.  We didn't think Huw had this in him.
     OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (50-82-1,113) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought THEATRE BUM
(101-6) (0-0-0,130) of Nobody in Particular.  OWAIN HARLSON devastated THEATRE BUM in
a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.  Or Owain, for that matter.
     CHATTY CABALIST (42-4488) (35-17-3,139) of DUNGEON CELL fought SIDEWINDER (21-
6883) (21-1-1,138) of SERPENTS HOLD.  CHATTY CABALIST was bested by SIDEWINDER in a
popular 1 minute duel.  So, is it better to wind from the side than from the back?
     SPARE ANCHOR (18-9610) (42-28-1,179) of SEA DOGS fought NO CHASER (33-6490) (38-
40-0,134) of JOYS OF BOOZE.  SPARE ANCHOR luckily beat NO CHASER in an exciting 5
minute bloody fight.  It was the (relatively) long fight, I think, No Chaser couldn't
keep up.  Around and around and around they went, and half the stewards fell over
dizzy.
     TAVIS CADFALSON (35-1419) (58-134-3,162) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought GAR & BRILL
(38-4252) (80-144-1,149) of JUST BECAUSE.  TAVIS CADFALSON vanquished GAR & BRILL in
a 1 minute mismatched brawl.  Amazing.
     MATH OP OWAIN (35-1418) (72-120-1,184) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought BUDDERCUP (60-
5967) (53-56-0,202) of BUMS 'R' US.  MATH OP OWAIN savagely defeated BUDDERCUP in an
exciting 2 minute gory melee.  Revenge of the fossils?

For the title:
     JETSAM (1-8172) (43-35-1,246) of SEA DOGS fought SMOKE (68-5868) (29-18-0,201)
of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II.  JETSAM viciously subdued SMOKE in a crowd pleasing 12 minute
gruesome Title fight.  Our congratulations to Jetsam.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JETSAM 1-8172               44  35  1  260  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      36  21  0  216  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       73 120  1  200  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SMOKE 68-5868               29  19  0  200  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         33  39  1  194  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
-DON KING 47-5374            27  25  3  191  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BUDDERCUP 60-5967           53  57  0  188  BUMS 'R' US (1142)         ARADI
-CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315       24  24  1  186  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610        43  28  1  181  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
-WAHOO 26-3916               25  18  1  181  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   32  13  1  176  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
-DIVING HAWK 3-2665          48  74  0  174  WE BIG WOHPUM (379)        OSKSI
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     59 134  3  169  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503       26   5  1  167  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 SIDEWINDER 21-6883          22   1  1  154  SERPENTS HOLD (1499)       SUNSET

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NO CHASER 33-6490           38  41  0  147  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIATOLI ISLAND
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         80 145  1  142  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     35  18  3  138  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       51  82  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          36 104  1  123  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          35  29  1  114  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-PORKY PIG 72-5953           24  13  2  113  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424    28  21  0  100  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
-HUGH CAPET 81-690           23  26  4   99  DARQUE AGES (1413)         SHADOWSPIRE
 FLY FISHER 21-6727          30   9  1   94  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-A.O. HELL 54-2523           24   9  2   87  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 DEAD LEE 8-3142             12   3  0   79  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 MIRAGE 84-10230             22  15  1   74  DRAGON'S GUARD V (1489)    BLACKSTONE
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      38  45  1   68  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
-MORBID CRUSADER 21-6825     20   9  1   68  DARK AT HEART (1496)       SUNSET
-FAMINE 21-6826              15  12  0   66  DARK AT HEART (1496)       SUNSET
 DOMINION 98-2058             8  12  3   63  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 DISEASE 21-6827             18  21  2   56  DARK AT HEART (1496)       SUNSET
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     23  46  1   52  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
-TEN LORDS ALEAPIN 47-6433   19  15  1   50  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-STOWAWAY 18-9722            28  28  4   48  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 PRISONER R02 82--14458      29  40  1   47  DUNGEON CELL 4 (1487)      DWES EG
-LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504        25  23  1   35  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 STARGAZER 35-4130           14   6  1   29  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Wahoo -- Nebraska, right? -- Tavis Cadfalson
P.S.  Okay if you're into corn and cattle, I suppose.

Rowdy Yobbo -- I wouldn't mind trying that, even if I am old for it. -- Math op Owain

Chatty Cabalist -- Do you have to keep talking?  My head aches. -- Huw ap Huw

No Chaser -- Depends on what you're chasing, doesn't it? -- Owain Harlson

Readers of Home Guard -- I've been sick, and the story has suffered for it.  What
would you prefer, that I synopsize to remind us where we were and then go on, or just
drop the whole storyline as being doomed? -- the Scribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JETSAM viciously subdued SMOKE in a crowd pleasing 12 minute gruesome Title fight.
MATH OP OWAIN savagely defeated BUDDERCUP in a exciting 2 minute gory melee.
TAVIS CADFALSON vanquished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SPARE ANCHOR luckily beat NO CHASER in a exciting 5 minute bloody fight.
CHATTY CABALIST was bested by SIDEWINDER in a popular 1 minute duel.
OWAIN HARLSON devastated THEATRE BUM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
HUW AP HUW defeated FAST-FINGERS FRED in a action packed 3 minute melee.
DOMINION slimly won victory over DISEASE in a crowd boring 13 minute gory duel.
MIRAGE was vanquished by FLY FISHER in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
PRISONER R02 was overpowered by LAKE SAILOR in a 2 minute one-sided melee.
PRISONER 0484 savagely defeated B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 2 minute bloody match.
STARGAZER was handily defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
SURLY DECKHAND was viciously subdued by DEAD LEE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    32 -  19 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        58 -  35 -  0      62  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -   8 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -  13 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         TOTAL PARRY       11 -  10 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   9 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   3 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         WALL OF STEEL      2 -   3 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -  38 -  0      31  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  31 -  1      26  |

Turn 547 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         3  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       JETSAM 1-8172              44  35  1  260 SEA DOGS (1442)
PARRY-STRIKE     MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418      73 120  1  200 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
TOTAL PARRY      SMOKE 68-5868              29  19  0  200 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
STRIKING ATTACK  BUDDERCUP 60-5967          53  57  0  188 BUMS 'R' US (1142)
LUNGING ATTACK   TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419    59 134  3  169 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
SLASHING ATTACK  NO CHASER 33-6490          38  41  0  147 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)
PARRY-LUNGE      DEAD LEE 8-3142            12   3  0   79 YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)
BASHING ATTACK   SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568     38  45  1   68 SEA DOGS (1446)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was NO CHASER 33-6490.  The ten other most popular fighters were JETSAM 1-8172, 
PRISONER 0484 82--15865, DEAD LEE 8-3142, SMOKE 68-5868, MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418, 
BUDDERCUP 60-5967, SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, FLY FISHER 21-6727, and 
SIDEWINDER 21-6883.

The least popular fighter this week was DOMINION 98-2058.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MIRAGE 84-10230, GAR & BRILL 38-4252, SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568, 
STARGAZER 35-4130, PRISONER R02 82--14458, DISEASE 21-6827, CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488, 
TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130, and SIDEWINDER 21-6883.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           4  1 0  FIREHOLD(68)         0  1 0  
ARKERS(8)            1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  BLACKSTONE(84)       0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           2  2 0  ARADI(60)            0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JETSAM 1-8172               44  35  1  260  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 DEAD LEE 8-3142             12   3  0   79  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610        43  28  1  181  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 SIDEWINDER 21-6883          22   1  1  154  SERPENTS HOLD (1499)       SUNSET
 NO CHASER 33-6490           38  41  0  147  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIATOLI ISLAND
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       73 120  1  200  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         80 145  1  142  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     35  18  3  138  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 BUDDERCUP 60-5967           53  57  0  188  BUMS 'R' US (1142)         ARADI
 SMOKE 68-5868               29  19  0  200  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     23  46  1   52  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
 MIRAGE 84-10230             22  15  1   74  DRAGON'S GUARD V (1489)    BLACKSTONE
 DOMINION 98-2058             8  12  3   63  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL