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Date   : 05/11/2011    Duedate: 05/24/2011

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-558

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 SEA DOGS 1/1442       575  384  5 60.0      ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 98/1498                
    SEA DOGS 18/426                             ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495            
    DUNGEON CELL 4 82/1487                    4 ARROGANCE 18/755      476  668 10 41.6
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                        UNDER DURESS 64/741                   
    SEA DOGS 21/1446                          5 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  728 1221  8 37.4
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                   6 MID EARTH 29/529       35   59  0 37.2
  2 DARK AT HEAR 21/1496   11    9  0 55.0      SORCERY COVENANT 3/255                
  3 SERPENTS HOL 22/1505   70   69  0 50.4      WIZARD'S WRATH 5/1464                 

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

     They say it's lonely at the top.  They aren't lying.  There is nobody to talk to
up here.  Jetsam was keeping me company for a while, but he floated on out of here to
Talahya.  Spare Anchor doesn't say much.  He just sits there.  I imagine that must be
frustrating for his opponents, as well.  Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the heap,
Plankton and Lazy Lookout are taking another breather, even though they had just
started fighting again.  Something about waiting for a no-tourney arena to start.
     With the ADM Regional Tournament approaching, I'm hoping to see a few new faces
show up.  Maybe one of them will have a good story to tell.

Chatty Cabalist

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     I can't say I'm feeling inspired today, despite putting the spy report to the
side and getting a good night's sleep, sinus-blasting burritos for breakfast, coffee,
the whole works.  So, you'll get an uninspired but well-intentioned spy report.
It'll have to do.
     Novgorodny Vir supplied us with a few points to ponder:
     "So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead
trees?"  This is not so irrational as it might seem.  I have seen immovable walls
fighting in the arena, if one could call it fighting.  And dead trees have been a
threat to the public safety more than once.
     "Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the
little birds cry out?'  Any idea?"  About what?  Yes, obviously the spinning wheel
turns, or it would be a stationary wheel.  And little birds have been known to cry
out, usually at some indecent hour of the morning when a reasonable man wants to go
on sleeping.
     "The roar of the oppenent."  Not a monster I've ever met, though I'm sure it's
ferocious.
     "Oh hard! that to strike a flame, the match itself must needs be wasting!"
Really, after a while I have no patience with this fool!  A match is not WASTED when
it's struck, it is fulfilling its destiny.  What could be more glorious than to
successfully fulfill one's destiny?  Or even to have so clear a destiny as a match
does?

But enough philosophy.  On to the fights.  Twelve fights, one involving a standby.
No challenges, no avoids.

     DARKNESS (21-6841) (23-20-1,90) of DARK AT HEART fought SURLY DECKHAND (21-6568)
(42-51-1,61) of SEA DOGS.  DARKNESS viciously subdued SURLY DECKHAND in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute conflict.  Ship captains take note!  Thrust your surly deckhands
into the outer darkness, and they will emerge subdued.  Or, of course, not at all.
     DOMINION (98-2058) (11-19-3,45) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 fought GAEGLIN (29-5437) (18-
11-0,65) of MID EARTH.  DOMINION defeated GAEGLIN in an exciting 3 minute match.
Dominion seems determined to achieve a winning record.  Do not stand in his way!
     ASSUR (18-7821) (25-73-2,100) of ARROGANCE fought ULDI SHOON (3-4951) (17-8-
1,89) of SORCERY COVENANT.  ASSUR overpowered ULDI SHOON in an action packed 1 minute
gory one-sided fight.  Assur's record is nothing to be arrogant about, but perhaps,
if he puts the next three years into it, he can turn that around.
     HOFFA (18-8478) (15-72-1,99) of ARROGANCE fought TIFFINAL (5-4865) (22-19-2,70)
of WIZARD'S WRATH.  HOFFA was vanquished by TIFFINAL in an action packed 1 minute
uneven fight.  Somehow I have never found Hoffa to be particularly arrogant, and
after a loss like that... well, he dropped twenty-four points, so maybe he can fight
someone easy next time.
     PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (28-51-1,95) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought HALIBUTT (5-
4866) (23-19-0,58) of WIZARD'S WRATH.  PRISONER 0484 vanquished HALIBUTT in a 1
minute uneven duel.  This one should be obvious, as well as uneven:  What prisoner
wouldn't leap at a chance for fresh fish?  Even halibut.  I trust it IS fresh?
     OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (52-91-1,121) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought PRISONER R02
(82-51078) (38-41-1,133) of DUNGEON CELL 4.  OWAIN HARLSON was devastated by PRISONER
R02 in a 1 minute one-sided competition.  If Owain would spend more time practicing
and less time lamenting that he is on the active list here, things might be
different.  I don't say they WOULD, but they might.

     BLACKMAIL (64-3917) (35-47-0,132) of UNDER DURESS fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-
10) (0-0-0,150) of Eager Fans.  BLACKMAIL vanquished IRON-PLATED IRV in a 3 minute
brutal mismatched fight.  What secret did Irv harbor that allowed Blackmail to
vanquish him?  Anyone who cares to join me at the Bash and Glug tonight, where I will
ply Blackmail with strong drink, may have a chance to find out.
     HOFFA (18-9369) (22-40-0,101) of ARROGANCE fought HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (40-110-
1,143) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  HOFFA luckily beat HUW AP HUW in a crowd pleasing 7
minute bloody match.  Here's a Hoffa with a better chance to raise his win/loss
percentage.  He (Hoffa) got twenty-seven points for this, though I'm not sure beating
Huw is worth that much.
     MANIPULATOR (64-3490) (38-62-5,153) of UNDER DURESS fought YELLOWBEARD (18-2149)
(28-17-0,139) of SEA DOGS.  MANIPULATOR was unbelievably bested by YELLOWBEARD in a 2
minute fight.  This Yellowbeard seems tough for a blond.  Could it be... bleached?
Does his beard have black roots?
     HORTATOR (1-7791) (43-39-3,188) of SEA DOGS fought SMOKE (68-5868) (35-23-0,200)
of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II.  HORTATOR was overpowered by SMOKE in a 1 minute mismatched
duel.  Smoke is always a danger when there's fire, and where there's smoke, there's
usually fire, too.
     SPARE ANCHOR (18-9610) (52-28-1,256) of SEA DOGS fought MATH OP OWAIN (35-1418)
(76-127-1,193) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  SPARE ANCHOR outlasted MATH OP OWAIN in an
exciting 7 minute melee.  I don't see seven minutes as worthy of "outlasted."  They
can't either of them have been try hard.

For the title:
     CHATTY CABALIST (42-4488) (45-18-3,281) of DUNGEON CELL fought TAVIS CADFALSON
(35-1419) (63-140-3,213) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  CHATTY CABALIST was devastated by
TAVIS CADFALSON in a 1 minute Title fight.  Interesting.  I've heard Tavis is a
blacksmith in his spare time, do you suppose he's been deafened by the clang of iron
on iron and didn't even HEAR Chatty?  Whatever, I congratulate them both.  Ah... for
being present and fighting a good fight.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     64 140  3  238  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610        53  28  1  262  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SMOKE 68-5868               36  23  0  209  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       76 128  1  199  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     45  19  3  190  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 HORTATOR 1-7791             43  40  3  184  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACKMAIL 64-3917           36  47  0  152  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 YELLOWBEARD 18-2149         29  17  0  152  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490         38  63  5  145  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 PRISONER R02 82--14458      39  41  1  141  DUNGEON CELL 4 (1487)      DWES EG
 HOFFA 18-9369               23  40  0  128  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-PLANKTON 18-9748            24  21  2  122  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          40 111  1  120  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       52  92  1  115  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 ASSUR 18-7821               26  73  2  113  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     29  51  1   99  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
 TIFFINAL 5-4865             23  19  2   96  WIZARD'S WRATH (1464)      KALTOS
 DARKNESS 21-6841            24  20  1   92  DARK AT HEART (1496)       SUNSET

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ULDI SHOON 3-4951           17   9  1   82  SORCERY COVENANT (255)     OSKSI
 HOFFA 18-8478               15  73  1   75  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 DOMINION 98-2058            12  19  3   65  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      42  52  1   64  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 HALIBUTT 5-4866             23  20  0   57  WIZARD'S WRATH (1464)      KALTOS
 GAEGLIN 29-5437             18  12  0   53  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
-LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504        26  23  1   44  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

All -- It looks like we have four managers interested in representing Home Guard in
the regional tourney: The Visionist, Jorja, Darque, and myself.  Not so bad at this
point.  We also have a maybe from Marmaduke.  If one or two more show up, we'll be
ready to show those other arenas what Home Guardians are made of! -- One Armed Bandit

Manipulator -- What?  I thought this was a confrontational sport, not manipulative!
Foul, foul! -- Owain Harlson

Assur -- Wish your namesake were here. -- Huw ap Huw

Hortator -- I don't respond well to hortion.  Sorry about that, in a manner of
speaking. -- Tavis Cadfalson

Chatty Cabalist -- Ah... I didn't hear the arenamaster say "go," because you were
TALKING. -- Math op Owain
P.S.  Not that it would have made much difference.

One Armed Bandit -- If there's some special style you find us in need of for that 
regional contest, I would look over my Home Guard crew and see if there's one worth 
activating. -- Jorja

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CHATTY CABALIST was devastated by TAVIS CADFALSON in a 1 minute Title fight.
SPARE ANCHOR outlasted MATH OP OWAIN in a exciting 7 minute melee.
HORTATOR was overpowered by SMOKE in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
MANIPULATOR was unbelievably bested by YELLOWBEARD in a 2 minute fight.
HOFFA luckily beat HUW AP HUW in a crowd pleasing 7 minute bloody match.
BLACKMAIL vanquished IRON-PLATED IRV in a 3 minute brutal mismatched fight.
OWAIN HARLSON was devastated by PRISONER R02 in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
PRISONER 0484 vanquished HALIBUTT in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HOFFA was vanquished by TIFFINAL in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
ASSUR overpowered ULDI SHOON in a action packed 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
DOMINION defeated GAEGLIN in a exciting 3 minute match.
DARKNESS viciously subdued SURLY DECKHAND in a crowd pleasing 2 minute conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY       21 -   8 -  0      72  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        32 -  14 -  0      70  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   7 -  0      65  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   6 -  0      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    10 -  12 -  0      45  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  12 -  0      37  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      2 -   4 -  0      33  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       8 -  22 -  0      27  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  23 -  0      23  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 558 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419    64 140  3  238 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
TOTAL PARRY      SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610       53  28  1  262 SEA DOGS (426)
PARRY-STRIKE     MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418      76 128  1  199 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
SLASHING ATTACK  CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488    45  19  3  190 DUNGEON CELL (1470)
BASHING ATTACK   HORTATOR 1-7791            43  40  3  184 SEA DOGS (1442)
PARRY-LUNGE      BLACKMAIL 64-3917          36  47  0  152 UNDER DURESS (741)
WALL OF STEEL    YELLOWBEARD 18-2149        29  17  0  152 SEA DOGS (426)
STRIKING ATTACK  OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130      52  92  1  115 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
AIMED BLOW       TIFFINAL 5-4865            23  19  2   96 WIZARD'S WRATH (1464)

The overall popularity leader is TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418.  The ten other most popular fighters were HUW AP 
HUW 35-3030, GAEGLIN 29-5437, SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610, DARKNESS 21-6841, MANIPULATOR 
64-3490, YELLOWBEARD 18-2149, PRISONER R02 82--14458, TIFFINAL 5-4865, TAVIS 
CADFALSON 35-1419, and HOFFA 18-9369.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 18-8478.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HALIBUTT 5-4866, ULDI SHOON 3-4951, HORTATOR 1-7791, CHATTY CABALIST 
42-4488, SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568, SMOKE 68-5868, DOMINION 98-2058, ASSUR 18-7821, 
PRISONER 0484 82--15865, and OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  1 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LAPUR(29)            0  1 0  FIREHOLD(68)         1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  MURSKA(35)           1  3 0  DWES EG(82)          2  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          4  1 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HORTATOR 1-7791             43  40  3  184  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 ULDI SHOON 3-4951           17   9  1   82  SORCERY COVENANT (255)     OSKSI
 TIFFINAL 5-4865             23  19  2   96  WIZARD'S WRATH (1464)      KALTOS
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610        53  28  1  262  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 DARKNESS 21-6841            24  20  1   92  DARK AT HEART (1496)       SUNSET
 GAEGLIN 29-5437             18  12  0   53  MID EARTH (529)            LAPUR
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     64 140  3  238  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 CHATTY CABALIST 42-4488     45  19  3  190  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 BLACKMAIL 64-3917           36  47  0  152  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 SMOKE 68-5868               36  23  0  209  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 PRISONER R02 82--14458      39  41  1  141  DUNGEON CELL 4 (1487)      DWES EG
 DOMINION 98-2058            12  19  3   65  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL