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Date   : 12/21/2011    Duedate: 01/03/2012

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 574

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 LOOK OUT!! 24/1514   187  105   2 64.0      NOT QUITE 59/1237
    ARCANE POWER 7/1316                         ROYAL FLUSH 47/146
    BLUNT FORCE 29/1512                         USELESS TOOLS 54/735
    C. U. LATER 82/1516                         NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
    SERPENTINE INC. 22/802                    4 ZOMBIE SQUA 98/1498   87   89   0 49.4
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     639  419   5 60.4      ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                          5 ARROGANCE 18/755     494  727  10 40.5
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            UNDER DURESS 64/741
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                   6 CHILDREN OF 35/1415  751 1256   8 37.4
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                   7 BLOOD FROG  99/1511    1    3   0 25.0
  3-SPARF! 20/1069      1121  962  16 53.8

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

     We dungeon dwellers have been waiting patiently for a name-change-o-rama, but it
doesn't seem clear that those happen anymore.  It would be a shame if we were doomed
for eternity with these cruddy names simply because our manager was lazy six years
ago.  It certainly doesn't seem fair that Convicted Thief has a better name than I
do.  I think I'll urge my manager to send in a bunch of name changes for the dozen
prisoners that he still manages and see what happens.  It can't be any worse than it
is now.

Prisoner 0484

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     And here we are again.  Even the seasons aren't this regular.  We have a modest
showing today, but it's a showing and I'm not knocking it.  We're doing better than
Andorak.
     Poop Slinger had the biggest point gain at thirty-one.  Hoffa had the biggest
loss at twenty-five.  Same fight.
     Looks like the clerks in the office have been nipping at the eggnog, because
some of the notes they compiled don't make any sense at all.  The avoids, for
instance.  They list a lot of avoids, and the avoiders just don't happen to be active
here.  So why should we care?  Novgorodny Vir claims that there were NO avoids today,
and I think I'm going to go with that.  AND, I don't think we had a most challenged,
either.
     We did have ten fights, which puts us, as I said, ahead of Andorak.  Only one
standby.  Two challenges.  And a Captain's Column, for which we thank our Captain of
the Guard.

     CULINARY (82-17479) (15-26-0,40) of C. U. LATER fought HAMMERHEAD (35-4129) (26-
28-2,60) of SEA DOGS.  CULINARY was overpowered by HAMMERHEAD in an exciting 1 minute
one-sided fight.  No surprise in this one.  But then, how often do we see real
surprises?
     BAKED CONVINCIA (98-2341) (11-9-4,30) of SHEWISH BANQUET fought CELTIC DRUID (7-
5043) (18-11-0,67) of ARCANE POWER.  BAKED CONVINCIA was savagely defeated by CELTIC
DRUID in an exciting 2 minute fight.  As it happens, druids really like Baked
Convincia, and this one was starving.
     AMPUTATOR FROG (99-3206) (9-2-4,36) of BLOOD FROG 3 fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3)
(0-0-0,30) of the Legion of Standbys.  AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by B&G BOUNCER
in an action packed 1 minute uneven fight.  A strange match, and I would recommend
that anyone in the Bash and Glug tonight be careful what kind of snacks they put in
their mouths.  There's a rumor about crispy-fired frogs....
     HOFFA (18-9369) (25-53-0,99) of ARROGANCE fought POOP SLINGER (24-4478) (14-3-
0,54) of LOOK OUT!!  HOFFA was viciously subdued by POOP SLINGER in an action packed
2 minute melee.  This is the fight that resulted in the greatest movement in the
ranks.  No surprise, Hoffa excells at propelling others up the ladder.
     MANIPULATOR (64-3490) (42-74-5,113) of UNDER DURESS fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (59-100-1,134) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  MANIPULATOR devastated OWAIN HARLSON in a
1 minute one-sided competition.  Quite true.  Owain isn't hard to manipulate if you
know which buttons to push.
     SURLY DECKHAND (21-6568) (50-59-1,117) of SEA DOGS fought ASSUR (18-7821) (31-
83-2,114) of ARROGANCE.  SURLY DECKHAND was vanquished by ASSUR in an exciting 1
minute mismatched fight.  Ah... someone should've warned Surly that Assur demands a
certain degree of respect from his opponents.  And when he doesn't get it, LOOK OUT!
     SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (26-16-0,111) of SEA DOGS fought DOMINION (98-2058) (20-26-
3,130) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3.  SHARK BAIT was defeated by DOMINION in a crowd pleasing 4
minute bloody match.  And thrown to the sharks, as well.  Gruesome.

The challenges:
     HYDROPONICUS (29-4605) (15-6-0,61) of BLUNT FORCE challenged HOFFA (18-8478)
(18-85-1,57) of ARROGANCE.  Down 4.  HYDROPONICUS viciously subdued HOFFA in an
action packed 2 minute Challenge battle.  That's a Hoffa for you, always ready to
lose.
     MONTY PYTHON (22-5939) (27-11-1,150) of SERPENTINE INC. challenged HUW AP HUW
(35-3030) (46-120-1,141) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Down 9.  MONTY PYTHON bested HUW AP
HUW in a 2 minute bloody Challenge fight.  And I could say the same for Huw.  So much
for the winning streak.

For the title:
     PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (41-54-1,233) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought SMOKE (68-5868)
(40-34-0,189) of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II.  PRISONER 0484 overpowered SMOKE in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute mismatched Title duel.  Good work, Prisoner, and may you soon have
another name.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0484 82-49671       42  54  1  246  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DON KING 47-5374             34  30  3  204  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        30  10  1  194  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       40  27     190  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 SMOKE 68-5868                40  35     182  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    41  16  1  179  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          36  42  1  169  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 MONTY PYTHON 22-5939         28  11  1  154  SERPENTINE INC. (802)      SOLVEN

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030           46 121  1  143  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 DOMINION 98-2058             21  26  3  136  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490          43  74  5  134  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 ASSUR 18-7821                32  83  2  127  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-JACK KNIFE 47-6694           22  12  1  122  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           26  17     114  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130        59 101  1  113  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       50  60  1  106  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-A.O. HELL 54-2523            29  14  2   87  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-ACE OF BASE 47-6905          17  11      85  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478         15   3      85  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HOFFA 18-9369                25  54      74  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 CELTIC DRUID 7-5043          19  11      69  ARCANE POWER (1316)        BONSUR
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605         16   6      68  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           27  28  2   66  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
 HOFFA 18-8478                18  86  1   56  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      11  10  4   36  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 CULINARY 82-17479            15  27      35  C. U. LATER (1516)         DWES EG
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206        9   3  4   23  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE
-DORSAL FINN 42-1662           4   1  1   17  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Surly Deckhand and Olaf -- Damn straight, it's my winning streak beginning.  And high
time, too.  I've waited and worked for it long enough. -- Huw ap Huw

Assur -- Yep, second time's the charm on this, and I didn't even change my strategy.
You must've changed yours, or recognized my innate superiority, or something. --
Owain Harlson

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MONTY PYTHON bested HUW AP HUW in a 2 minute bloody Challenge fight.
HYDROPONICUS viciously subdued HOFFA in a action packed 2 minute Challenge battle.
PRISONER 0484 overpowered SMOKE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute mismatched Title duel.
SHARK BAIT was defeated by DOMINION in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match.
SURLY DECKHAND was vanquished by ASSUR in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
MANIPULATOR devastated OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
HOFFA was viciously subdued by POOP SLINGER in a action packed 2 minute melee.
AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by B&G BOUNCER in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
BAKED CONVINCIA was savagely defeated by CELTIC DRUID in a exciting 2 minute fight.
CULINARY was overpowered by HAMMERHEAD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -   4 -  0      83  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         STRIKING ATTACK   18 -   9 -  0      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   4 -  1      64  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         AIMED BLOW        34 -  25 -  0      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      14 -  14 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    17 -  18 -  0      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  16 -  0      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  27 -  0      40  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  14 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         TOTAL PARRY        7 -  28 -  0      20  |

Turn 574 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  3         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SMOKE 68-5868              40  35  0  182 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 22-5939       28  11  1  154 SERPENTINE INC. (802)
PARRY-STRIKE     HUW AP HUW 35-3030         46 121  1  143 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
BASHING ATTACK   MANIPULATOR 64-3490        43  74  5  134 UNDER DURESS (741)
AIMED BLOW       SHARK BAIT 33-7652         26  17  0  114 SEA DOGS (1501)
STRIKING ATTACK  OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130      59 101  1  113 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
SLASHING ATTACK  POOP SLINGER 24-4478       15   3  0   85 LOOK OUT!! (1514)
LUNGING ATTACK   CELTIC DRUID 7-5043        19  11  0   69 ARCANE POWER (1316)
WALL OF STEEL    BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341    11  10  4   36 SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)

The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was HYDROPONICUS 29-4605.  The ten other most popular fighters were CELTIC DRUID 
7-5043, SHARK BAIT 33-7652, PRISONER 0484 82--15865, POOP SLINGER 24-4478, MONTY 
PYTHON 22-5939, DOMINION 98-2058, ASSUR 18-7821, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, SURLY DECKHAND 
21-6568, and HAMMERHEAD 35-4129.

The least popular fighter this week was OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CULINARY 82-17479, AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206, HOFFA 18-9369, HOFFA 
18-8478, BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341, MANIPULATOR 64-3490, SMOKE 68-5868, HAMMERHEAD 
35-4129, SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568, and HUW AP HUW 35-3030.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            1  0 0  LAPUR(29)            1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  2 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           1  2 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
SOLVEN(22)           1  0 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CELTIC DRUID 7-5043         19  11  0   69  ARCANE POWER (1316)        BONSUR
 ASSUR 18-7821               32  83  2  127  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      50  60  1  106  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 MONTY PYTHON 22-5939        28  11  1  154  SERPENTINE INC. (802)      SOLVEN
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478        15   3  0   85  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605        16   6  0   68  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652          26  17  0  114  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          46 121  1  143  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490         43  74  5  134  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 SMOKE 68-5868               40  35  0  182  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     42  54  1  246  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
 DOMINION 98-2058            21  26  3  136  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206       9   3  4   23  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

     For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.  

                        CIRBANE (3-3841) SORCERY COVENANT (52) 
                       MADE A COMBO (62-3896) WON AT POOL (401) 
                        TAKANOHANA (77-2569) SUMO BASHO (369) 
                     PAIN PART 1 (82-11616) LUROCIANS XIV (1687) 
                      1101 (82-17779) MEDAL OF HONOR AA1 (2722) 
                        PUD 135 (82-22036) PUDS AGAIN 8 (3496) 
                    AMISTUM (82-26415) LBA: SPEILBURG FANS2 (4268) 
                     MORE COWBELL! (82-29315) BLAH TEAM 8 (4781) 
                    SILVER (82-30503) SUPERIOR FORCES 7402 (5001) 
                          HYPERMUX (82-32647) 121604Q (5387) 
                 BOND, JAMES BOND (82-36725) A VIEW TO A KILL (6066) 
                        R'AKA (82-37859) THE DREADLANDS (6285) 
                     PRISONER 007 (82-41051) DUNGEON CELL (6855) 
                          SPARKLY (82-41405) 012006E (6911) 
                  SEATTLE SLEW (82-41468) SUPERIOR HORSES II (6923) 
                    CATHARI (82-42267) 4604 SUPERIOR FORCES (7065) 
                     COFFEE GROUNDS (82-45801) ABSTRACTION (7691) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes