AD

Date   : 01/04/2012    Duedate: 01/17/2012

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 575

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 LOOK OUT!! 24/1514   190  107   2 64.0      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146
    ARCANE POWER 7/1316                         USELESS TOOLS 54/735
    BLUNT FORCE 29/1512                         NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
    C. U. LATER 82/1516                       4 NO RESPECT  82/1399  373  344   4 52.0
    SERPENTINE INC. 22/802                      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     642  421   5 60.4      PERFECTION QUEST 98/1204
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                          5 ZOMBIE SQUA 98/1498   87   91   0 48.9
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                   6 ARROGANCE 18/755     497  728  11 40.6
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                     UNDER DURESS 64/741
  3-SPARF! 20/1069      1121  962  16 53.8    7 CHILDREN OF 35/1415  752 1257   8 37.4
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                         8 BLOOD FROG  99/1511    1    4   0 20.0

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

     A solitary squeaky wheel writing from his Captain of the Guard chair and a name-
change-o-rama is set into motion.
     The irony of a former prisoner being the Captain of the Guard is not lost on me.
I would never have dared speak out when I was in leg irons in fair Queen Gemra's
dungeon, nor would anyone have cared if I did.  But now, from this position of
importance, not only did I have the courage to speak, but people actually listened.
It is truly inspiring that with hard work and fifty life or death trials in the
arena, that a person can rise to such heights from such depths.
     Thank you, commission scribes, for your attentiveness and hard work.  You do
your bureaucracy proud.  My colleagues and I look forward to our new names.

Prisoner 0484

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     The Unknown Spymaster was here with a bag over his head, said it was from
embarrassment.  I dunno what HE has to be embarrassed about.  WE had twelve fights,
with two standbys, which puts us way ahead of Andorak, by the way.  No challenges, no
avoids.  Baked Convincia had the biggest point gain, at twenty-seven.  Poop Slinger
had the biggest drop at thirty-eight.  Different fights.
     I want to take a minute here to thank our Captain of the Guard, 0484, for
speaking out in the newsletter and precipitating a Name-Change-O-Rama.  High time for
one.

The fights:
     HOFFA (18-8478) (18-86-1,56) of ARROGANCE fought DILL WEED (7-5241) (15-9-0,61)
of SUGAR AND SPICE.  HOFFA unbelievably bested DILL WEED in an exciting 3 minute
bloody battle.  Unbelievable is the word for this.  Hoffas aren't expected to win.
Even the standbys generally do better.
     POOP SLINGER (24-4478) (15-3-0,85) of LOOK OUT!! fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3) (0-
0-0,30) of Fresh New Standbys!  POOP SLINGER was demolished by B&G BOUNCER in a 1
minute mismatched competition.  Thus the Slinger's plummet to about 47.
     CULINARY (82-17479) (15-27-0,35) of C. U. LATER fought HAMMERHEAD (35-4129) (27-
28-2,66) of SEA DOGS.  CULINARY was handily defeated by HAMMERHEAD in an exciting 1
minute one-sided bout.  Some people cook, some fight.  The arena's for the fighters.
Forget the pots and pans, Culinary.
     GOSSAMER (98-407) (10-12-4,33) of PERFECTION QUEST fought CELTIC DRUID (7-5043)
(19-11-0,69) of ARCANE POWER.  GOSSAMER was defeated by CELTIC DRUID in a 2 minute
match.  No surprise, except that the bookies don't call it a mis-match.  Which means
we should watch out for this Gossamer dude, he's a rising star.
     BAKED CONVINCIA (98-2341) (11-10-4,36) of SHEWISH BANQUET fought HOFFA (18-9369)
(25-54-0,74) of ARROGANCE.  BAKED CONVINCIA won victory over HOFFA in a popular 4
minute duel.  And thus Baked's rise to 93.
     AMPUTATOR FROG (99-3206) (9-3-4,23) of BLOOD FROG 3 fought HYDROPONICUS (29-
4605) (16-6-0,68) of BLUNT FORCE.  AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a
1 minute one-sided duel.  Frogs.  I don't want to think about frogs today.

     OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (59-101-1,113) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought DOMINION (98-
2058) (21-26-3,136) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3.  OWAIN HARLSON savagely defeated DOMINION in
an action packed 6 minute gruesome melee.  Whoa!  Somebody's been feeding Owain meat!
     ASSUR (18-7821) (32-83-2,127) of ARROGANCE fought SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (26-17-
0,114) of SEA DOGS.  ASSUR devastated SHARK BAIT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute
mismatched match.  I should hope so.
     MANIPULATOR (64-3490) (43-74-5,134) of UNDER DURESS fought HUW AP HUW (35-3030)
(46-121-1,143) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  MANIPULATOR butchered HUW AP HUW in a 1 minute
gory uneven brawl.  Oops!  So much for Huw's "little setback."  I think this has got
to count as a bigger setback.
     PUMPING ON STEELE (82-33221) (21-28-0,145) of NO RESPECT II fought SLICK STEPHAN
(101-11) (0-0-0,150) of Fresh New Standbys!  PUMPING ON STEELE devastated SLICK
STEPHAN in an exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.  Good, that Stephan was getting
above himself.
     MONTY PYTHON (22-5939) (28-11-1,154) of SERPENTINE INC. fought SURLY DECKHAND
(21-6568) (50-60-1,106) of SEA DOGS.  MONTY PYTHON handily defeated SURLY DECKHAND in
a 2 minute one-sided match.  You see, Surly?  You might have avoided that with a
friendly smile and a cheerful word.

For the title:
     PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (42-54-1,246) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought SMOKE (68-5868)
(40-35-0,182) of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II.  PRISONER 0484 devastated SMOKE in an action
packed 4 minute mismatched Title fight.  And 0484, soon to have another name, remains
our Captain of the Guard.  Good job.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0484 82-49671       43  54  1  257  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DON KING 47-5374             34  30  3  204  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        30  10  1  194  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       40  27     190  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    41  16  1  179  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 SMOKE 68-5868                40  36     178  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          36  42  1  169  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 PUMPING ON STEELE 82-33221   22  28     159  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG
 MONTY PYTHON 22-5939         29  11  1  156  SERPENTINE INC. (802)      SOLVEN

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490          44  74  6  150  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 ASSUR 18-7821                33  83  2  140  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130        60 101  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030           46 122  1  128  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-JACK KNIFE 47-6694           22  12  1  122  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 DOMINION 98-2058             21  27  3  122  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       50  61  1  114  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           26  18     107  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-A.O. HELL 54-2523            29  14  2   87  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-ACE OF BASE 47-6905          17  11      85  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 CELTIC DRUID 7-5043          20  11      71  ARCANE POWER (1316)        BONSUR
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605         17   6      70  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           28  28  2   69  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
 HOFFA 18-8478                19  86  1   67  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      12  10  4   63  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 DILL WEED 7-5241             15  10      56  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 HOFFA 18-9369                25  55      50  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478         15   4      47  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 GOSSAMER 98-407              10  13  4   39  PERFECTION QUEST (1204)    SYVYN'S HILL
 CULINARY 82-17479            15  28      33  C. U. LATER (1516)         DWES EG
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206        9   4  4   27  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE
-DORSAL FINN 42-1662           4   1  1   17  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
HUW AP HUW 35-3030        46 122  1 CHILDREN OF LLYR 1415  MANIPULATOR 64-3490       575

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Prisoner 0484 -- Good column. -- Jorja and the remaining Children of Llyr

Manipulator, and Olaf, too! -- Listen, you two, NOBODY manipulates me!  I do what I
want.  Well, except in the arena, where I do what Jorja told me to do several years
ago. -- Owain Harlson
P.S.  And I don't WEAR buttons.  They're effete.

Monty Python, and Olaf as well -- This is not an end to my winning streak, it's just
a little setback. -- Huw ap Huw

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PRISONER 0484 devastated SMOKE in a action packed 4 minute mismatched Title fight.
MONTY PYTHON handily defeated SURLY DECKHAND in a 2 minute one-sided match.
PUMPING ON STEELE devastated SLICK STEPHAN in a exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.
MANIPULATOR butchered HUW AP HUW in a 1 minute gory uneven brawl.
ASSUR devastated SHARK BAIT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
OWAIN HARLSON savagely defeated DOMINION in a action packed 6 minute gruesome melee.
AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BAKED CONVINCIA won victory over HOFFA in a popular 4 minute duel.
GOSSAMER was defeated by CELTIC DRUID in a 2 minute match.
CULINARY was handily defeated by HAMMERHEAD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
POOP SLINGER was demolished by B&G BOUNCER in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
HOFFA unbelievably bested DILL WEED in a exciting 3 minute bloody battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   2 -  1      80  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -   5 -  0      78  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -   7 -  0      71  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW        30 -  27 -  0      53  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  14 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  14 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    16 -  18 -  0      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  25 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -  13 -  0      28  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         TOTAL PARRY        7 -  27 -  0      21  |

Turn 575 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         2 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SMOKE 68-5868              40  36  0  178 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
WALL OF STEEL    PUMPING ON STEE 82--32315  22  28  0  159 NO RESPECT II (1399)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MONTY PYTHON 22-5939       29  11  1  156 SERPENTINE INC. (802)
BASHING ATTACK   MANIPULATOR 64-3490        44  74  6  150 UNDER DURESS (741)
STRIKING ATTACK  OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130      60 101  1  133 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
PARRY-STRIKE     HUW AP HUW 35-3030         46 122  1  128 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
AIMED BLOW       SHARK BAIT 33-7652         26  18  0  107 SEA DOGS (1501)
LUNGING ATTACK   CELTIC DRUID 7-5043        20  11  0   71 ARCANE POWER (1316)
PARRY-LUNGE      DILL WEED 7-5241           15  10  0   56 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)
SLASHING ATTACK  POOP SLINGER 24-4478       15   4  0   47 LOOK OUT!! (1514)

The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.  The ten other most popular fighters were PRISONER 
0484 82--15865, DOMINION 98-2058, DILL WEED 7-5241, MONTY PYTHON 22-5939, BAKED 
CONVINCIA 98-2341, CELTIC DRUID 7-5043, SMOKE 68-5868, PUMPING ON STEELE 82--32315, 
ASSUR 18-7821, and SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 18-9369.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were POOP SLINGER 24-4478, AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206, CULINARY 82-17479, 
GOSSAMER 98-407, SHARK BAIT 33-7652, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, HOFFA 18-8478, HYDROPONICUS 
29-4605, MANIPULATOR 64-3490, and HAMMERHEAD 35-4129.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            1  1 0  LAPUR(29)            1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          2  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          2  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           2  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  2 0  
SOLVEN(22)           1  0 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 1  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CELTIC DRUID 7-5043         20  11  0   71  ARCANE POWER (1316)        BONSUR
 ASSUR 18-7821               33  83  2  140  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      50  61  1  114  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 MONTY PYTHON 22-5939        29  11  1  156  SERPENTINE INC. (802)      SOLVEN

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478        15   4  0   47  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605        17   6  0   70  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652          26  18  0  107  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       60 101  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490         44  74  6  150  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 SMOKE 68-5868               40  36  0  178  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     43  54  1  257  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
 DOMINION 98-2058            21  27  3  122  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206       9   4  4   27  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE

                                NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA

     The crowd was surprisingly orderly, but it was still a crowd, and the Commission 
clerk, Algernon, looked at it uneasily.  Whenever this many people came together to 
petition for something, it meant trouble.  For him, anyway.  Records to be altered.  
Altering records was Bad.  It made Extra Work.
     His assistant clerk leaned close and whispered, "If it weren't for gladiators, we 
wouldn't have jobs.  Smile at them and ask what they want."
     Algernon closed his eyes briefly.  Looking at this crowd made him dizzy.  They 
were all wearing black and white stripes.  Like a herd of zebras, except that zebras 
didn't carry swords.  Then he took a deep breath and managed a smile.  "What... ah, 
what can I do for you?"
     "We want new names," the first gladiator said.  There was a number on the front 
of his shirt:  0381.  He thumped the number with his thumb.  "This here isn't a 
name--"
     "We want REAL names!"  That voice came from farther back in the crowd.
     "Yeah!  We've paid our dues," another shouted, "and we've EARNED real names!"
     One from the very back yelled, "I want to be called Tom."
     All the others turned to look at him.
     Algernon couldn't see him, but apparently those looks were accusing.  Well, he 
could understand that, "Tom" was such a... common name.
     "My mom called me Tom," the voice in the back protested.  "It's a good name."
     "It isn't the name you put on the petition," 0381 said.  "We talked about this.  
We got our manager's agreement.  You get the name on the petition."
     "But--!"
     Algernon didn't really want to keep staring at all these stripes while they 
argued.  He picked up the petition.  "These names are the ones you want?"
     0381 turned back.  "Yes."
     "It's a lot of trouble, and when other people see that YOU are getting name 
changes, THEY are going to want them--"  Seeing the gladiators beginning to frown... 
and finger their weapons, he went on quickly, "So I figure we might as well make it a 
complete deal.  A Name-Change-O-Rama.  Everyone who wants a name change can petition 
for it.  Get it all over with at once."  He glanced at the petition, shuddered 
slightly, and passed it to his clerk.  "We'll announce it, proclaim it, even, and you 
will get the names on this petition.  And others will get the names THEY think they 
should have had, too."  He paused.  "And I think I'll get a new name, I'm tired of 
being an Algernon...."

                                  *   *   *   *   *  

     Warrior and team name changes will be accepted during the month of February.  If 
you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI

                              "DARK ARENA" -- The Novel

    For centuries, the Shagornan Elves have been forced to live underground. 
    Human invaders, the Delarquans, burned their forests, sparking a war of elven 
    annihilation. The elders told tales that when the Delarquans marched to war 
    against the elves, the land itself bled as they passed. Since the war, the 
    elves have dwindled with every passing year, while the humans multiply like 
    rodents across the land of Alastari. 

    Now, the Delarquans have disappeared. Some say they departed, others indicate 
    it.s a ruse, but there have been whispered rumors of another greater threat 
    looming in the region. Khyron of the Shagornan Elves has been tasked to 
    determine the cause, realizing that failure is probable and at the end of the 
    road death could be the only reward. 

    Khyron has known only the safety of the caves, but now he must journey to the 
    world above...the World with No Ceiling.

Throughout the years, many fine writers have played Duelmasters/Duel II and have 
contributed greatly to the history and background of the world of Alastari.  One very 
intense period, during the early '90's, was during the Rocanis War, when authors from 
both the Delarquan and Free Blades arenas collaborated on writing the history of the 
invasion of the arena-city of Rocanis.  Mark Manley (aka Grimwood) is a long-time 
manager in Rocanis, and was one of the writers who contributed so much to this 
history.  Over the subsequent years, he has worked to bring his novelization to life 
and make the story of the War and the preceding events which led to it available to 
the greater public.  Many Rocanis legends appear in the book: Itoz Trollbane, 
Sandstorm, and others.  The novel is a treat to read--even more so if you are familiar 
with the game!

If you're interested in purchasing a copy of the book, here are links: 
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Arena-Mark-G-
Manley/dp/1936127598/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319631863&sr=1-2
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dark-arena-mark-
manley/1105609584?ean=2940011494659&itm=2&usri=dark%2barena
Treble Heart Books: http://www.trebleheartbooks.com/WDManley.html 

Mark Manley is planning to attend the upcoming Winter Face-to-Face in Tempe, and has 
offered a special prize to the winner of the Rookies and Primus tournaments:  An 
autographed copy of Dark Arena, autographed by the author, the artist, and the RSI 
staff!  In addition, as a special prize, the top up-and-coming tournament manager will 
also receive an autographed copy!  Mark will have copies of Dark Arena available at 
the tournament, and as a special bonus, each copy of Dark Arena sold at the FTF will 
include one new team rollup!  We hope that many of you can venture to Tempe to 
participate in the Face-to-Face, compete in the tournament, and congratulate Mark in 
person on his achievement!