AD
Date : 01/18/2012 Duedate: 01/31/2012
HOME GUARD ARENA
DM 101 TURN 576
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 LOOK OUT!! 24/1514 192 107 2 64.2 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146
ARCANE POWER 7/1316 USELESS TOOLS 54/735
BLUNT FORCE 29/1512 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
C. U. LATER 82/1516 4-NO RESPECT 82/1399 373 344 4 52.0
SERPENTINE INC. 22/802 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
2 SEA DOGS 21/1446 645 423 5 60.4 PERFECTION QUEST 98/1204
SEA DOGS 33/1501 5 ZOMBIE SQUA 98/1498 87 93 0 48.3
SEA DOGS 35/1502 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497 6 ARROGANCE 18/755 497 732 11 40.4
SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515 UNDER DURESS 64/741
3 SPARF! 20/1069 1125 967 16 53.8 7 CHILDREN OF 35/1415 753 1258 8 37.4
NOT QUITE 59/1237 8-BLOOD FROG 99/1511 1 4 0 20.0
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Captain of the Guard
Rumor has it that Crip will be activating his warriors this turn. If this is
indeed true, I look forward to fighting one of his three Grand Champions.
Crip made an offhand remark to my manager a month or two ago that I needed to
buff up a bit, so that I could deal more damage. I have heeded his advice and have
worked on nothing but that in his absence. I hope, Crip, that you and your warriors
find my newfound strength to be satisfactory. Hopefully it will not be so easy to
unseat me from the Captain's Chair.
Finally, one small detail for the commission. I don't want to make a habit of
complaining about things, but I believe I am not being fully recognized for my
achievements. If you look at the "Top Warrior of Each Style" list, it shows my
teammate Shark Bait as the top Aimed Blow. I am the top Aimed Blow. I have no idea
why I'm not showing up on that list, but I can't help but think some overworked
scribe is having his revenge on me for all the name change paperwork that he is being
forced to process. Please look into that when you have the chance.
Prisoner 0484
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
First, a note to 0484: You are correct, someone in the Commission office is
insulting you. Possibly because the moon is waning? Because the weather is
seriously confused, with record highs of seventy degrees one day and highs of
nineteen the next? Regardless, yes, you should be listed as the top of your style.
On the more immediate, or at least more approachable level, I see that Surly
Deckhand has the greatest point increase at twenty-six, and Manipulator the greatest
loss at twenty-two. Same fight.
Dungeon Cell 97 and associated teams (One Armed Bandit) were most avoided, with
Useless Tools etcetera (Crip) doing most of the avoiding. No surprise, as Crip seems
to be the only manager actively managing this time. All the challenges are his, too.
Smoke is the most challenged warrior today.
Fourteen fights, four standbys, three challenges. There has been debate in the
back rooms over the question of, "Why do we need anything but Talahya and Primus?"
Any opinions?
BAKED CONVINCIA (98-2341) (12-10-4,63) of SHEWISH BANQUET fought HOFFA (18-9369)
(25-55-0,50) of ARROGANCE. BAKED CONVINCIA vanquished HOFFA in a 3 minute gruesome
mismatched bout. No surprise, that's what the Hoffas do best.
A.O. HELL (54-2523) (29-14-2,87) of USELESS TOOLS fought HOFFA (18-8478) (19-86-
1,67) of ARROGANCE. A.O. HELL savagely defeated HOFFA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
gory conflict. And there are a lot of them out here doing it. Losing, that is.
HAMMERHEAD (35-4129) (28-28-2,69) of SEA DOGS fought HYDROPONICUS (29-4605) (17-
6-0,70) of BLUNT FORCE. HAMMERHEAD was demolished by HYDROPONICUS in a 1 minute
mismatched match. I'd have said a hammer head represented blunt force.
DORSAL FINN (42-1662) (4-1-1,17) of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC fought LAKE SAILOR (101-
2) (0-0-0,30) of Miscellaneous Standbys. DORSAL FINN was devastated by LAKE SAILOR
in a 1 minute mismatched conflict. Yes, well, I happen to know that the Sailor is
partial to shark-fin soup. Takes all kinds, I guess. I wouldn't touch the stuff.
Especially if I had to catch my own sharks!
DOMINION (98-2058) (21-27-3,122) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (60-101-1,133) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. DOMINION was handily defeated by OWAIN
HARLSON in an exciting 2 minute one-sided bout. I should hope so! That experience
must be good for something.
SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (26-18-0,107) of SEA DOGS fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-10)
(0-0-0,150) of Miscellaneous Standbys. SHARK BAIT was defeated by IRON-PLATED IRV in
an exciting 1 minute fight. And this Shark Bait is the one wrongfully billed as Mr.
Accuracy of Home Guard! Embarrassing.
SURLY DECKHAND (21-6568) (50-61-1,114) of SEA DOGS fought MANIPULATOR (64-3490)
(44-74-6,150) of UNDER DURESS. SURLY DECKHAND won victory over MANIPULATOR in an
action packed 1 minute fight. This is the fight that caused the biggest shifting in
the ranks.
ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (36-42-1,169) of SPARF! fought HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (46-
122-1,128) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. ROWDY YOBBO handily defeated HUW AP HUW in an action
packed 1 minute uneven melee. Ah... well, it's better than Huw's last fight, where
he got killed.
PHONELESS CORD (54-2018) (40-27-0,190) of USELESS TOOLS fought RIPPY BRICKBOY
(101-1) (0-0-0,200) of Miscellaneous Standbys. PHONELESS CORD was savagely defeated
by RIPPY BRICKBOY in a 8 minute brawl. Odd. Ominous, too.
DON KING (47-5374) (34-30-3,204) of ROYAL FLUSH fought BATTLING BOB (101-26) (0-
0-0,200) of Miscellaneous Standbys. DON KING was vanquished by BATTLING BOB in a 1
minute mismatched fight. And that concludes the involvement of the standbys today,
they going four and oh! They're going to get swelled heads.
The challenges:
ACE OF BASE (47-6905) (17-11-0,85) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged POOP SLINGER (24-
4478) (15-4-0,47) of LOOK OUT!! Down 38. ACE OF BASE lost to POOP SLINGER in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl. That's got to hurt. I'm surprised Ace
didn't get the biggest point drop for this one.
JACK KNIFE (47-6694) (22-12-1,122) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged ASSUR (18-7821)
(33-83-2,140) of ARROGANCE. Up 18. JACK KNIFE luckily beat ASSUR in an exciting 2
minute gory Challenge melee. Was it luck, or good management?
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (41-16-1,179) of NOT QUITE challenged SMOKE (68-
5868) (40-36-0,178) of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II. Down 1. IMMOVEABLE OBJECT slimly won
victory over SMOKE in a 18 minute Challenge fight. I just about got frostbite
waiting for this one to end. Speed it up some next time, guys.
For the title:
PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (43-54-1,257) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought RUBBER BULLET
(54-2503) (30-10-1,194) of USELESS TOOLS. PRISONER 0484 overpowered RUBBER BULLET in
a 1 minute one-sided Title fight. Soon to be renamed 0484 remains our literate
Captain of the Guard, and we salute him.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PRISONER 0484 82-49671 44 54 1 276 DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497) DWES EG
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 40 28 191 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
DON KING 47-5374 34 31 3 190 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 42 16 1 186 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
RUBBER BULLET 54-2503 30 11 1 186 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SMOKE 68-5868 40 37 180 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495) FIREHOLD
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 37 42 1 171 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
-PUMPING ON STEELE 82-33221 22 28 159 NO RESPECT II (1399) DWES EG
-MONTY PYTHON 22-5939 29 11 1 156 SERPENTINE INC. (802) SOLVEN
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130 61 101 1 143 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 51 61 1 140 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET
JACK KNIFE 47-6694 23 12 1 137 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
ASSUR 18-7821 33 84 2 132 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
HUW AP HUW 35-3030 46 123 1 128 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
MANIPULATOR 64-3490 44 75 6 128 UNDER DURESS (741) KURUKAR
DOMINION 98-2058 21 28 3 115 ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498) SYVYN'S HILL
SHARK BAIT 33-7652 26 19 113 SEA DOGS (1501) NIATOLI ISLAND
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
A.O. HELL 54-2523 30 14 2 90 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605 18 6 80 BLUNT FORCE (1512) LAPUR
POOP SLINGER 24-4478 16 4 75 LOOK OUT!! (1514) ZORPUNT
-CELTIC DRUID 7-5043 20 11 71 ARCANE POWER (1316) BONSUR
HOFFA 18-8478 19 87 1 71 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341 13 10 4 71 SHEWISH BANQUET (1515) SYVYN'S HILL
ACE OF BASE 47-6905 17 12 65 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
HAMMERHEAD 35-4129 28 29 2 62 SEA DOGS (1502) MURSKA
-DARIUS 29-5467 16 8 1 57 OPEN HAND (1518) LAPUR
-DILL WEED 7-5241 15 10 56 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
HOFFA 18-9369 25 56 44 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
-GOSSAMER 98-407 10 13 4 39 PERFECTION QUEST (1204) SYVYN'S HILL
-CULINARY 82-17479 15 28 33 C. U. LATER (1516) DWES EG
-AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206 9 4 4 27 BLOOD FROG 3 (1511) SOUTH RIDGE
DORSAL FINN 42-1662 4 2 1 10 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Dominion -- Yep, meat. Great stuff. Steaks. -- Owain Harlson
Manipulator -- That was uncalled-for. Tackle your manager, instead. It's HER fault
you're maxed and still training skills. -- Huw ap Huw
You know, when Tavis and Math got sucked out of here, we were sorry for 'em. But
THEY got to retire. I wish we could. -- Huw
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT slimly won victory over SMOKE in a 18 minute Challenge fight.
JACK KNIFE luckily beat ASSUR in a exciting 2 minute gory Challenge melee.
ACE OF BASE lost to POOP SLINGER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl.
PRISONER 0484 overpowered RUBBER BULLET in a 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
DON KING was vanquished by BATTLING BOB in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
PHONELESS CORD was savagely defeated by RIPPY BRICKBOY in a 8 minute brawl.
ROWDY YOBBO handily defeated HUW AP HUW in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
SURLY DECKHAND won victory over MANIPULATOR in a action packed 1 minute fight.
SHARK BAIT was defeated by IRON-PLATED IRV in a exciting 1 minute fight.
DOMINION was handily defeated by OWAIN HARLSON in a exciting 2 minute one-sided bout.
DORSAL FINN was devastated by LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
HAMMERHEAD was demolished by HYDROPONICUS in a 1 minute mismatched match.
A.O. HELL savagely defeated HOFFA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory conflict.
BAKED CONVINCIA vanquished HOFFA in a 3 minute gruesome mismatched bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 2 - 1 78 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 SLASHING ATTACK 16 - 6 - 0 73 |
|BASHING ATTACK 4 STRIKING ATTACK 15 - 7 - 0 68 |
|TOTAL PARRY 3 AIMED BLOW 30 - 26 - 0 54 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 LUNGING ATTACK 16 - 14 - 0 53 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 WALL OF STEEL 15 - 14 - 0 52 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 BASHING ATTACK 19 - 25 - 1 43 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 9 - 16 - 0 36 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 1 PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 11 - 0 35 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 TOTAL PARRY 6 - 27 - 0 18 |
Turn 576 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL
LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 2 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 3 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 0 - 3 1 TOTAL PARRY
STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 2 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 BASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 40 28 0 191 USELESS TOOLS (735)
STRIKING ATTACK DON KING 47-5374 34 31 3 190 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
WALL OF STEEL RUBBER BULLET 54-2503 30 11 1 186 USELESS TOOLS (735)
TOTAL PARRY SMOKE 68-5868 40 37 0 180 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
LUNGING ATTACK ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 37 42 1 171 SPARF! (1069)
BASHING ATTACK SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 51 61 1 140 SEA DOGS (1446)
PARRY-STRIKE HUW AP HUW 35-3030 46 123 1 128 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
PARRY-LUNGE A.O. HELL 54-2523 30 14 2 90 USELESS TOOLS (735)
SLASHING ATTACK POOP SLINGER 24-4478 16 4 0 75 LOOK OUT!! (1514)
The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030. The most popular warrior this
turn was PHONELESS CORD 54-2018. The ten other most popular fighters were SMOKE
68-5868, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130, ASSUR 18-7821, A.O. HELL 54-2523, SURLY DECKHAND
21-6568, PRISONER 0484 82--15865, MANIPULATOR 64-3490, BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341, JACK
KNIFE 47-6694, and POOP SLINGER 24-4478.
The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 18-9369. The other ten least popular
fighters were HAMMERHEAD 35-4129, DORSAL FINN 42-1662, DON KING 47-5374, IMMOVEABLE
OBJECT 59-2110, HOFFA 18-8478, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, RUBBER BULLET 54-2503,
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605, DOMINION 98-2058, and SHARK BAIT 33-7652.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
TALCAMA(18) 0 3 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 0 1 0 ILLIS(59) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 1 0 0 MURSKA(35) 1 2 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
SUNSET(21) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 FIREHOLD(68) 0 1 0
ZORPUNT(24) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 1 2 0 DWES EG(82) 1 0 0
LAPUR(29) 1 0 0 TROCAR(54) 1 2 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ASSUR 18-7821 33 84 2 132 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 37 42 1 171 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 51 61 1 140 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET
POOP SLINGER 24-4478 16 4 0 75 LOOK OUT!! (1514) ZORPUNT
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605 18 6 0 80 BLUNT FORCE (1512) LAPUR
SHARK BAIT 33-7652 26 19 0 113 SEA DOGS (1501) NIATOLI ISLAND
OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130 61 101 1 143 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
DORSAL FINN 42-1662 4 2 1 10 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI
DON KING 47-5374 34 31 3 190 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 40 28 0 191 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 42 16 1 186 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
MANIPULATOR 64-3490 44 75 6 128 UNDER DURESS (741) KURUKAR
SMOKE 68-5868 40 37 0 180 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495) FIREHOLD
PRISONER 0484 82--15865 44 54 1 276 DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497) DWES EG
DOMINION 98-2058 21 28 3 115 ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498) SYVYN'S HILL