AD

Date   : 02/01/2012    Duedate: 02/14/2012

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 577

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 LOOK OUT!! 24/1514   195  107   2 64.6      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146
    ARCANE POWER 7/1316                         USELESS TOOLS 54/735
    BLUNT FORCE 29/1512                         NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
    C. U. LATER 82/1516                       4 NO RESPECT  82/1399  374  346   4 51.9
    SERPENTINE INC. 22/802                      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
    ARCANE GREATS FTF 96/1519                   PERFECTION QUEST 98/1204
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     648  425   5 60.4    5 ZOMBIE SQUA 98/1498   89   93   0 48.9
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                            ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                          6 ARROGANCE 18/755     497  736  11 40.3
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                     UNDER DURESS 64/741
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                   7 CHILDREN OF 35/1415  754 1259   8 37.5
  3 SPARF! 20/1069      1131  970  16 53.8    8-BLOOD FROG  99/1511    1    4   0 20.0
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                         9 OPEN HAND 29/1518      0    1   0  0.0

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

Olaf posed the question "Why do we need anything but Talahya and Primus?"

     That is an interesting question.  I, for one, would not be heartbroken if Home
Guard disappeared.  I wouldn't retire, or refuse to fight in the arena in protest.
While my manager is fond of the history of Home Guard and has good memories from his
bad warriors when he was a terrible manager twenty years ago, I think he would
survive a Home Guard closure, as well.  There seems to be a place for Crysalis.  It
serves a clear purpose, for those managers who are a bit... slow, shall we say.  The
new no-tourney ADM arena, if it catches on, seems like a natural extension of DM-81
and DM-83, allowing ADM warriors to battle each other au naturel, without prizes or
tourney experience.  I can see a place for it.  That leaves the regional arenas.  I 
overheard my manager discussing this very topic with some other managers.  He
seemed to think that the world would go on just fine without them, but he was
surprised to hear from some manager or another, The Dark One perhaps, that he was
adamantly opposed to the closing of Free Blades because he was proud of the strong
record he had amassed there and he felt a great connection to the Free Blades
nations.  My manager used to run in Darkholm, but later abandoned it and moved his
warriors to Talahya because he was tired of fighting The Muffin Man over and over and
over again, just to provide a bit of history.
     So what's the moral of this story?  I have no idea.  Home Guard could probably
stand to be closed, and Darkholm, Free Blades, and Andorak along with it.  But this
move would inevitably piss somebody off and they might run less warriors in ADM
because of it or worse yet, quit.  You never know with these temperamental manager
types.  Drama queens, the lot of them.  So this idea will probably go the way of
basic arena closures, for precisely the same reasons.  There are few enough people
who are willing to take up the rugged and often unrewarding life of managing stables
of gladiators.  It would be a shame to lose even one of them.
     Unless you let the warriors manage themselves.  Then you can kill off all the
managers for all I care.

Prisoner 0484

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     We have a couple of thoughtful comments on the condition or value of the various
AD arenas, and I thank those who posted them.  Probably nothing will come of this,
but... who knows?
     Because the lightning pigeons are being especially fractious today, this will be
short.

For today:
     Pastrami Elemental had the biggest point gain at 27.  Hammerhead had the biggest
loss at 24.  Same fight.  Royal Flush avoided Serpentine Inc.  This is using all the
available management tools, a good thing.  Smoke got the most challenges.
     We had seventeen fights, five of them involving standbys.  And five--a different
five, obviously--being challenges.

     DARIUS (29-5467) (16-8-1,57) of OPEN HAND fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-0,50) of The
Faceless Ones.  DARIUS was overpowered by HERMY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-
sided match.  That kind of thing has to hurt.  But on the other hand, nowhere to go
but up, eh?
     DORSAL FINN (42-1662) (4-2-1,10) of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC fought HYDROPONICUS (29-
4605) (18-6-0,80) of BLUNT FORCE.  DORSAL FINN was beaten by HYDROPONICUS in an
exciting 1 minute match.  This is the kind of thing that's going to happen to the
Finn until he gets more experience.  But it beats being dead.  Or so some people
claim.  Being dead isn't actually all that bad.
     HOFFA (18-9369) (25-56-0,44) of ARROGANCE fought A.O. HELL (54-2523) (30-14-
2,90) of USELESS TOOLS.  HOFFA was viciously subdued by A.O. HELL in a crowd pleasing
2 minute gory brawl.  There are Hoffas everywhere we turn on the Isle, usually losing
fights.
     PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL (96-3748) (9-1-3,31) of ARCANE GREATS FTF fought HAMMERHEAD
(35-4129) (28-29-2,62) of SEA DOGS.  PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL devastated HAMMERHEAD in an
exciting 1 minute uneven duel.  This is the fight that led to the biggest point
movements.
     HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (46-123-1,128) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought SLICK STEPHAN
(101-11) (0-0-0,150) of The Faceless Ones.  HUW AP HUW handily defeated SLICK STEPHAN
in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.  No winning streak starting today for Huw.
     DOMINION (98-2058) (21-28-3,115) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (61-101-1,143) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  DOMINION savagely defeated OWAIN HARLSON
in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory match.  Nor for Owain.  But somebody has to lose,
and you can see they're both good at it.

     SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (26-19-0,113) of SEA DOGS fought MANIPULATOR (64-3490) (44-
75-6,128) of UNDER DURESS.  SHARK BAIT bested MANIPULATOR in a crowd pleasing 1
minute conflict.  Huh, I thought Manipulator had a sharkish look.
     SMOKE (68-5868) (40-37-0,180) of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II fought ASSUR (18-7821) (33-
84-2,132) of ARROGANCE.  SMOKE overpowered ASSUR in a 1 minute one-sided match.  This
is Smoke the Most Challenged?  Odd.
     IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (42-16-1,186) of NOT QUITE fought LONG-NECKED LARRY
(101-22) (0-0-0,181) of The Faceless Ones.  IMMOVEABLE OBJECT savagely defeated LONG-
NECKED LARRY in a 4 minute match.  No surprise, Larry has a history of charging into
walls.
     PHONELESS CORD (54-2018) (40-28-0,191) of USELESS TOOLS fought OSWALD ORC (101-
24) (0-0-0,181) of The Faceless Ones.  PHONELESS CORD overpowered OSWALD ORC in a 2
minute gory uneven duel.  So, what do you think, should we allow garroting in the
arena?
     DON KING (47-5374) (34-31-3,190) of ROYAL FLUSH fought KATRINA (101-9) (0-0-
0,170) of The Faceless Ones.  DON KING vanquished KATRINA in a 1 minute uneven duel.
That's no way to end a date, Don.

The challenges:
     ACE OF BASE (47-6905) (17-12-0,65) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BAKED CONVINCIA
(98-2341) (13-10-4,71) of SHEWISH BANQUET.  Up 6.  ACE OF BASE viciously subdued
BAKED CONVINCIA in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  It needed more cinnamon, if you ask
me.
     GOSSAMER (98-407) (10-13-4,39) of PERFECTION QUEST challenged HOFFA (18-8478)
(19-87-1,71) of ARROGANCE.  Up 32.  GOSSAMER overpowered HOFFA in a crowd pleasing 1
minute mismatched Challenge match.  Another Hoffa loses.
     DILL WEED (7-5241) (15-10-0,56) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged POOP SLINGER (24-
4478) (16-4-0,75) of LOOK OUT!!  Up 19.  DILL WEED was devastated by POOP SLINGER in
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.  In some ways, a well matched pair.
     JACK KNIFE (47-6694) (23-12-1,137) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SURLY DECKHAND (21-
6568) (51-61-1,140) of SEA DOGS.  Up 3.  JACK KNIFE was handily defeated by SURLY
DECKHAND in a 2 minute Challenge match.  A sword is better than a knife, and I
suppose a... what, belaying pin?  Whatever, it seems to have trumped.
     PUMPING ON STEELE (82-33221) (22-28-0,159) of NO RESPECT II challenged ROWDY
YOBBO (20-3429) (37-42-1,171) of SPARF!  Up 12.  PUMPING ON STEELE was devastated by
ROWDY YOBBO in a 1 minute Challenge fight.  And it's very true, where is the respect
these days?

For the title:
     PRISONER 0484 (82-49671) (44-54-1,276) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought RUBBER BULLET
(54-2503) (30-11-1,186) of USELESS TOOLS.  PRISONER 0484 devastated RUBBER BULLET in
a 2 minute one-sided Title competition.  I won't say the fight was fair, but then
again... if neither challenges nr avoids, what you have is by definition a fair
fight.  More or less.  Congratulations to our literate Prisoner.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0484 82-49671       45  54  1  295  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       41  28     199  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 DON KING 47-5374             35  31  3  195  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    43  16  1  193  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 SMOKE 68-5868                41  37     182  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        30  12  1  181  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          38  42  1  179  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       52  61  1  156  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
-MONTY PYTHON 22-5939         29  11  1  156  SERPENTINE INC. (802)      SOLVEN
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030           47 123  1  152  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PUMPING ON STEELE 82-33221   22  29     152  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOMINION 98-2058             22  28  3  137  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL
 ASSUR 18-7821                33  85  2  135  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 JACK KNIFE 47-6694           23  13  1  128  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130        61 102  1  127  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           27  19     127  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490          44  76  6  117  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 A.O. HELL 54-2523            31  14  2   92  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478         17   4      83  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605         19   6      82  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 ACE OF BASE 47-6905          18  12      78  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-CELTIC DRUID 7-5043          20  11      71  ARCANE POWER (1316)        BONSUR
-THE FALLEN ONE 39-3416       17  15  2   68  DARQUE ANGELS (1483)       XOCHITHLAN
 GOSSAMER 98-407              11  13  4   66  PERFECTION QUEST (1204)    SYVYN'S HILL
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      13  11  4   65  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748   10   1  3   58  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HOFFA 18-9369                25  57      55  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 DILL WEED 7-5241             15  11      54  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 HOFFA 18-8478                19  88  1   45  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 DARIUS 29-5467               16   9  1   43  OPEN HAND (1518)           LAPUR
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           28  30  2   38  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
-CULINARY 82-17479            15  28      33  C. U. LATER (1516)         DWES EG
-AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206        9   4  4   27  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE
 DORSAL FINN 42-1662           4   3  1   27  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Olaf -- While we agree that the 3 regional ADM arenas (103,104,105) could be shut
down, I also believe that 101 and 106 serve their purpose and should be kept around.
-- Crip, mgr of Crip's Crap et al.

     Crysalis, definitely, it's alive.  And if the three regionals colsed down,
     there'd be more use (maybe) of Home Guard.  Not that I set Commission policy,
     but I can't help noticing.

OAB -- Thanks for the mention, not sure if we'll make this turn with the mail turn-
around, but we're going to try. -- Crip

Poop Slinger -- Oops, didn't mean to sling at you with that downchallenge, but that's
what happens when our boss gets behind on the mail. -- Ace of Base

Dominion -- Actually, my experience is good for a lot of things.  Why weren't you
training skills?  I'm a great teacher. -- Owain Harlson

Rowdy Yobbo -- "Better than last time" isn't much of a recommendation, but, yeah,
this was at least a little better than last time.  Not a lot, though. -- Huw ap Huw

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PUMPING ON STEELE was devastated by ROWDY YOBBO in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
JACK KNIFE was handily defeated by SURLY DECKHAND in a 2 minute Challenge match.
DILL WEED was devastated by POOP SLINGER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
GOSSAMER overpowered HOFFA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
ACE OF BASE viciously subdued BAKED CONVINCIA in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
PRISONER 0484 devastated RUBBER BULLET in a 2 minute one-sided Title competition.
DON KING vanquished KATRINA in a 1 minute uneven duel.
PHONELESS CORD overpowered OSWALD ORC in a 2 minute gory uneven duel.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT savagely defeated LONG-NECKED LARRY in a 4 minute match.
SMOKE overpowered ASSUR in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SHARK BAIT bested MANIPULATOR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.
DOMINION savagely defeated OWAIN HARLSON in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory match.
HUW AP HUW handily defeated SLICK STEPHAN in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL devastated HAMMERHEAD in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
HOFFA was viciously subdued by A.O. HELL in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory brawl.
DORSAL FINN was beaten by HYDROPONICUS in a exciting 1 minute match.
DARIUS was overpowered by HERMY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       7         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   1 -  1      88  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   15 -   6 -  0      71  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         AIMED BLOW        33 -  23 -  0      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   9 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -  13 -  0      54  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  16 -  0      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  24 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  15 -  0      38  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         TOTAL PARRY        6 -  26 -  0      19  |

Turn 577 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         7 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  5         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       PHONELESS CORD 54-2018     41  28  0  199 USELESS TOOLS (735)
STRIKING ATTACK  DON KING 47-5374           35  31  3  195 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
TOTAL PARRY      SMOKE 68-5868              41  37  0  182 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
WALL OF STEEL    RUBBER BULLET 54-2503      30  12  1  181 USELESS TOOLS (735)
LUNGING ATTACK   ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429        38  42  1  179 SPARF! (1069)
BASHING ATTACK   SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568     52  61  1  156 SEA DOGS (1446)
PARRY-STRIKE     HUW AP HUW 35-3030         47 123  1  152 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
PARRY-LUNGE      A.O. HELL 54-2523          31  14  2   92 USELESS TOOLS (735)
SLASHING ATTACK  POOP SLINGER 24-4478       17   4  0   83 LOOK OUT!! (1514)

The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.  The ten other most popular fighters were IMMOVEABLE 
OBJECT 59-2110, DOMINION 98-2058, ACE OF BASE 47-6905, A.O. HELL 54-2523, PRISONER 
0484 82--15865, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, HYDROPONICUS 29-4605, ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429, SURLY 
DECKHAND 21-6568, and PHONELESS CORD 54-2018.

The least popular fighter this week was HAMMERHEAD 35-4129.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ASSUR 18-7821, HOFFA 18-8478, DILL WEED 7-5241, DARIUS 29-5467, 
HOFFA 18-9369, MANIPULATOR 64-3490, SMOKE 68-5868, POOP SLINGER 24-4478, PUMPING ON 
STEELE 82--32315, and DON KING 47-5374.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            0  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  0 0  KURUKAR(64)          0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  3 0  MURSKA(35)           1  2 0  FIREHOLD(68)         1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       2  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          1  0 0  TROCAR(54)           2  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     2  1 0  
LAPUR(29)            1  1 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DILL WEED 7-5241            15  11  0   54  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 ASSUR 18-7821               33  85  2  135  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         38  42  1  179  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      52  61  1  156  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478        17   4  0   83  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605        19   6  0   82  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652          27  19  0  127  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          47 123  1  152  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 DORSAL FINN 42-1662          4   3  1   27  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI
 DON KING 47-5374            35  31  3  195  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      41  28  0  199  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   43  16  1  193  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 MANIPULATOR 64-3490         44  76  6  117  UNDER DURESS (741)         KURUKAR
 SMOKE 68-5868               41  37  0  182  ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)  FIREHOLD
 PRISONER 0484 82--15865     45  54  1  295  DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497)     DWES EG
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748  10   1  3   58  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 DOMINION 98-2058            22  28  3  137  ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)      SYVYN'S HILL