AD
Date : 02/15/2012 Duedate: 02/28/2012
HOME GUARD ARENA
DM 101 TURN 578
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 JAZZMATAZZ 17/602 198 108 2 64.7 DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221
LOOK OUT!! 24/1514 MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439
BLUNT FORCE 29/1512 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
ARCANE GREATS FTF 96/1519 4 NO RESPECT 82/1399 376 347 4 52.0
2 SEA DOGS 21/1446 651 427 5 60.4 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
SEA DOGS 33/1501 PERFECTION QUEST 98/1204
SEA DOGS 35/1502 5 ZOMBIE SQUA 98/1498 90 94 0 48.9
DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515 6 ARROGANCE 18/755 497 740 11 40.2
3 SPARF! 20/1069 1138 974 16 53.9 UNDER DURESS 64/741
NOT QUITE 59/1237 7 CHILDREN OF 35/1415 754 1261 8 37.4
ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 8 BLOOD FROG 99/1511 1 5 0 16.7
USELESS TOOLS 54/735 9 OPEN HAND 29/1518 0 2 0 0.0
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Captain of the Guard
Rumor has it that the name changes have gone through. For the record, this
snake oil I was caught peddling is truly a miracle cure for the plague, joint pain,
and black orc fever. Just because science has not caught up to this revolutionary
medicine is no reason to throw an innocent salesman into prison.
Snake Oil Salesman
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
"Busy, busy, busy" doesn't begin to cover it. One thing after another, and
sometimes two or three things at once. People tell me this is how a person knows
he's alive. Well, I'm not alive, and I could do with a slower pace! Still, we've
got figthts, and we need a spy report.
So, biggest point movements: Hammerhead up 30, Nuclear Harmony down 25, same
fight. And no, if you're asking, that was NOT our Duelmaster "cramped under a table
at the Bash and Glug." The very idea!
Sea Dogs were (or was) avoided by Useless Tools.
Hoffa got the most challenged. He's definitely the most challenged warrior
here.
We had eighteen fights, with three standbys and six challenges. Plus, personals
a Captain's Column. Eat your heart out, Andorak!
HAMMERHEAD (35-4129) (28-30-2,38) of SEA DOGS fought NUCLEAR HARMONY (17-4599)
(18-9-3,68) of JAZZMATAZZ. HAMMERHEAD overpowered NUCLEAR HARMONY in a 1 minute one-
sided match. The fight with the most point movement.
DORSAL FINN (42-1662) (4-3-1,27) of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-
5) (0-0-0,70) of The Faceless Ones. DORSAL FINN was beaten by MEAN SPIRIT in an
exciting 1 minute match. It never feels good to lose to a standby, but this WAS an
uneven match.
BAKED CONVINCIA (98-2341) (13-11-4,65) of SHEWISH BANQUET fought DILL WEED (7-
5241) (15-11-0,54) of SUGAR AND SPICE. BAKED CONVINCIA was viciously subdued by DILL
WEED in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brawl. And no surprise! The tastes don't go
together at all well.
AMPUTATOR FROG (99-3206) (9-4-4,27) of BLOOD FROG 3 fought HYDROPONICUS (29-
4605) (19-6-0,82) of BLUNT FORCE. AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a
1 minute one-sided fray. This is dues, and the Frog is paying them.
A.O. HELL (54-2523) (31-14-2,92) of USELESS TOOLS fought HOFFA (18-9369) (25-57-
0,55) of ARROGANCE. A.O. HELL savagely defeated HOFFA in a popular 3 minute bloody
duel. No, this is not Hoffa-the-Most-Challenged. That's a different Hoffa. We have
at least two. There are three in Darkholm, does that make us better off or worse?
MANIPULATOR (64-3490) (44-76-6,117) of UNDER DURESS fought HOCKEY DUCK (39-937)
(35-30-1,100) of DUCKS UNLIMITED. MANIPULATOR was narrowly defeated by HOCKEY DUCK
in a 2 minute bloody conflict. Ducks ho!
OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (61-102-1,127) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought PORKY PIG (72-
5953) (24-14-2,106) of MEAT YOUR MAKER. OWAIN HARLSON was devastated by PORKY PIG in
a 1 minute one-sided battle. People told him the Pig was too greasy. He should've
stuck with lean fish, though the very thought makes me ill.
HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (47-123-1,152) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought DOMINION (98-
2058) (22-28-3,137) of ZOMBIE SQUAD 3. HUW AP HUW was outlasted by DOMINION in a
crowd pleasing 8 minute bloody match. Huh. I expected better of Huw. Thought he
had more endurance, you know?
ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (38-42-1,179) of SPARF! fought SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (27-
19-0,127) of SEA DOGS. ROWDY YOBBO handily defeated SHARK BAIT in a 1 minute one-
sided bout. Does this mean Rowdy is a shark?
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (43-16-1,193) of NOT QUITE fought KATRINA (101-9)
(0-0-0,170) of The Faceless Ones. IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested KATRINA in a
popular 3 minute brutal fight. I'm not getting where this is "unbelievable."
DON KING (47-5374) (35-31-3,195) of ROYAL FLUSH fought SEVEN-EYED GOLLYWOG (101-
31) (0-0-0,220) of The Faceless Ones. DON KING lost to SEVEN-EYED GOLLYWOG in an
action packed 1 minute fight. Gods, so would I have lost to that... thing. Ugh.
The challenges:
ACE OF BASE (47-6905) (18-12-0,78) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged POOP SLINGER (24-
4478) (17-4-0,83) of LOOK OUT!! Up 5. ACE OF BASE was devastated by POOP SLINGER in
a 1 minute Challenge competition. And who wouldn't be?
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL (96-3748) (10-1-3,58) of ARCANE GREATS FTF challenged HOFFA
(18-8478) (19-88-1,45) of ARROGANCE. Down 13. PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL viciously subdued
HOFFA in a 3 minute Challenge fight. What I don't see is why it took the Pastrami
guy three minutes to win. Must not've had enough garlic in the mix. Or black
pepper.
DARIUS (29-5467) (16-9-1,43) of OPEN HAND challenged GOSSAMER (98-407) (11-13-
4,66) of PERFECTION QUEST. Up 23. DARIUS was subdued by GOSSAMER in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute Challenge competition. Good to see this young newcomer getting out
there and mixing it up with the tough ones. And there's no question, win or lose,
any Bloodgamer who shows up on the Isle is tough.
JACK KNIFE (47-6694) (23-13-1,128) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged ASSUR (18-7821)
(33-85-2,135) of ARROGANCE. Up 7. JACK KNIFE bested ASSUR in a popular 2 minute
gory Challenge contest. You'd think this was another Hoffa!
PUMPING ON STEELE (82-33221) (22-29-0,152) of NO RESPECT II challenged SURLY
DECKHAND (21-6568) (52-61-1,156) of SEA DOGS. Up 4. PUMPING ON STEELE was
demolished by SURLY DECKHAND in a 1 minute Challenge melee. No respect at all.
RUBBER BULLET (54-2503) (30-12-1,181) of USELESS TOOLS challenged SMOKE (68-
5868) (41-37-0,182) of ZOMBIE SQUAD II II. Up 1. RUBBER BULLET viciously subdued
SMOKE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight. Ooooh, vicious! I'm glad the
steward said that, because *I* wouldn't have known. There was smoke all over the
place.
For the title:
SNAKE OIL SALESMAN (82-49671) (45-54-1,295) of DUNGEON CELL 97 fought PHONELESS
CORD (54-2018) (41-28-0,199) of USELESS TOOLS. SNAKE OIL SALESMAN won victory over
PHONELESS CORD in a 2 minute Title duel. This is a "retaining the title" victory for
the Salesman, formerly a wrongfully imprisoned Prisoner 0484. Congratulations on the
name, as well as the title.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SNAKE OIL SALESMAN 82-49671 46 54 1 310 DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497) DWES EG
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 44 16 1 195 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 41 29 195 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
RUBBER BULLET 54-2503 31 12 1 192 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
DON KING 47-5374 35 32 3 191 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
SMOKE 68-5868 41 38 182 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495) FIREHOLD
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 39 42 1 181 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 53 61 1 166 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET
DOMINION 98-2058 23 28 3 153 ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498) SYVYN'S HILL
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PUMPING ON STEELE 82-33221 22 30 143 NO RESPECT II (1399) DWES EG
HUW AP HUW 35-3030 47 124 1 142 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
JACK KNIFE 47-6694 24 13 1 138 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
ASSUR 18-7821 33 86 2 132 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
SHARK BAIT 33-7652 27 20 130 SEA DOGS (1501) NIATOLI ISLAND
PORKY PIG 72-5953 25 14 2 128 MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439) DRAGONHEAD
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 36 30 1 115 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130 61 103 1 109 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
MANIPULATOR 64-3490 44 77 6 106 UNDER DURESS (741) KURUKAR
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
POOP SLINGER 24-4478 18 4 96 LOOK OUT!! (1514) ZORPUNT
A.O. HELL 54-2523 32 14 2 94 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605 20 6 84 BLUNT FORCE (1512) LAPUR
ACE OF BASE 47-6905 18 13 73 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GOSSAMER 98-407 12 13 4 70 PERFECTION QUEST (1204) SYVYN'S HILL
DILL WEED 7-5241 16 11 69 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
HAMMERHEAD 35-4129 29 30 2 68 SEA DOGS (1502) MURSKA
-THE FALLEN ONE 39-3416 17 15 2 68 DARQUE ANGELS (1483) XOCHITHLAN
HOFFA 18-9369 25 58 64 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748 11 1 3 63 ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519) OLD VALAMANTIS
-FAIRYFIRE 59-2660 19 2 1 60 IMPROVED ILLUSION (1431) ILLIS
BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341 13 12 4 55 SHEWISH BANQUET (1515) SYVYN'S HILL
-HARVEY 59-2636 16 1 49 IMPROVED ILLUSION (1431) ILLIS
HOFFA 18-8478 19 89 1 46 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
DARIUS 29-5467 16 10 1 44 OPEN HAND (1518) LAPUR
NUCLEAR HARMONY 17-4599 18 10 3 43 JAZZMATAZZ (602) ALJAFIR
AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206 9 5 4 35 BLOOD FROG 3 (1511) SOUTH RIDGE
DORSAL FINN 42-1662 4 4 1 33 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Pastrami Elemental -- That mound of pastrami was mesmerizing. -- Hammerhead
But it needed mustard.
Prisoner 0484 -- I think the commission has it right, I should rightfully be the AB
Stylemaster. -- Phoneless Cord
Baked Convincia -- I think you are a parry skill or two up on me. -- Ace of Base
Surly Deckhand -- Congrats on the train, I surely felt the pain. -- Jack Knife
Greetings, Home Guard -- My pride at arriving upon the Isle of the Eye is matched
only by the humility I feel after losing my first match against Hermy from "The
Faceless Ones," humble beginnings indeed. And coming off the high from surviving a
night fight, and now there's talk of closing the arena! Phew! If the rest of
eternity is going be like this, I don't know if I'll survive it! Well, anyway,
figure if we're going to be spending eternity together, might as well say a quick
"how do." -- Darius, the Open Hand
Don't hold your breath in expectation of Home Guard closing. It isn't going to
happen. -- Olaf
Prisoner 0484 -- Yeah, I'd agree that killing off the managers, or at least getting
RID of them, would be satisfying. Not gonna happen. -- Huw ap Huw
Hey, I can beat a standby! I dunno who this Slick Stephan guy is, never saw him
before, but he went down. Olaf got that wrong, by the way. I WON. -- Huw ap Huw,
winner
It was a fluke.
Dominion -- At least I made you work for it. -- Owain Harlson
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
RUBBER BULLET viciously subdued SMOKE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.
PUMPING ON STEELE was demolished by SURLY DECKHAND in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
JACK KNIFE bested ASSUR in a popular 2 minute gory Challenge contest.
DARIUS was subdued by GOSSAMER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge competition.
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL viciously subdued HOFFA in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
ACE OF BASE was devastated by POOP SLINGER in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
SNAKE OIL SALESMAN won victory over PHONELESS CORD in a 2 minute Title duel.
DON KING lost to SEVEN-EYED GOLLYWOG in a action packed 1 minute fight.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested KATRINA in a popular 3 minute brutal fight.
ROWDY YOBBO handily defeated SHARK BAIT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
HUW AP HUW was outlasted by DOMINION in a crowd pleasing 8 minute bloody match.
OWAIN HARLSON was devastated by PORKY PIG in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
MANIPULATOR was narrowly defeated by HOCKEY DUCK in a 2 minute bloody conflict.
A.O. HELL savagely defeated HOFFA in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
AMPUTATOR FROG was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BAKED CONVINCIA was viciously subdued by DILL WEED in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brawl.
DORSAL FINN was beaten by MEAN SPIRIT in a exciting 1 minute match.
HAMMERHEAD overpowered NUCLEAR HARMONY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 1 - 1 88 |
|BASHING ATTACK 6 SLASHING ATTACK 14 - 6 - 0 70 |
|WALL OF STEEL 5 LUNGING ATTACK 15 - 10 - 0 60 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 3 AIMED BLOW 32 - 23 - 0 58 |
|TOTAL PARRY 3 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 10 - 0 52 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 8 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 10 - 13 - 0 43 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 2 WALL OF STEEL 13 - 18 - 0 42 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 BASHING ATTACK 18 - 26 - 1 41 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 TOTAL PARRY 5 - 26 - 0 16 |
Turn 578 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 0 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 3 2 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 5 - 2 TOTAL PARRY 0 - 3 2 PARRY-STRIKE
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 3 - 3 1 BASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 44 16 1 195 NOT QUITE (1237)
WALL OF STEEL RUBBER BULLET 54-2503 31 12 1 192 USELESS TOOLS (735)
STRIKING ATTACK DON KING 47-5374 35 32 3 191 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
TOTAL PARRY SMOKE 68-5868 41 38 0 182 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495)
LUNGING ATTACK ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 39 42 1 181 SPARF! (1069)
BASHING ATTACK SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 53 61 1 166 SEA DOGS (1446)
PARRY-STRIKE DOMINION 98-2058 23 28 3 153 ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498)
PARRY-RIPOSTE HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 36 30 1 115 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)
SLASHING ATTACK POOP SLINGER 24-4478 18 4 0 96 LOOK OUT!! (1514)
PARRY-LUNGE A.O. HELL 54-2523 32 14 2 94 USELESS TOOLS (735)
The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030. The most popular warrior this
turn was HUW AP HUW 35-3030. The ten other most popular fighters were RUBBER BULLET
54-2503, DOMINION 98-2058, A.O. HELL 54-2523, PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748, DILL WEED
7-5241, ASSUR 18-7821, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN 82--15865, MANIPULATOR 64-3490, SMOKE
68-5868, and SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568.
The least popular fighter this week was NUCLEAR HARMONY 17-4599. The other ten least
popular fighters were AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206, HOFFA 18-9369, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130,
SHARK BAIT 33-7652, ACE OF BASE 47-6905, HOFFA 18-8478, DARIUS 29-5467, PUMPING ON
STEELE 82--32315, HAMMERHEAD 35-4129, and DORSAL FINN 42-1662.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
BONSUR(7) 1 0 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 0 1 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
ALJAFIR(17) 0 1 0 MURSKA(35) 1 2 0 FIREHOLD(68) 0 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 0 3 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 0 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 DWES EG(82) 1 1 0
SUNSET(21) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 1 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0
ZORPUNT(24) 1 0 0 TROCAR(54) 2 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 2 1 0
LAPUR(29) 1 1 0 ILLIS(59) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DILL WEED 7-5241 16 11 0 69 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
NUCLEAR HARMONY 17-4599 18 10 3 43 JAZZMATAZZ (602) ALJAFIR
ASSUR 18-7821 33 86 2 132 ARROGANCE (755) TALCAMA
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 39 42 1 181 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568 53 61 1 166 SEA DOGS (1446) SUNSET
POOP SLINGER 24-4478 18 4 0 96 LOOK OUT!! (1514) ZORPUNT
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605 20 6 0 84 BLUNT FORCE (1512) LAPUR
SHARK BAIT 33-7652 27 20 0 130 SEA DOGS (1501) NIATOLI ISLAND
HUW AP HUW 35-3030 47 124 1 142 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 36 30 1 115 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
DORSAL FINN 42-1662 4 4 1 33 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1517) RODEKI
DON KING 47-5374 35 32 3 191 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
PHONELESS CORD 54-2018 41 29 0 195 USELESS TOOLS (735) TROCAR
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 44 16 1 195 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
MANIPULATOR 64-3490 44 77 6 106 UNDER DURESS (741) KURUKAR
SMOKE 68-5868 41 38 0 182 ZOMBIE SQUAD II II (1495) FIREHOLD
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PORKY PIG 72-5953 25 14 2 128 MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439) DRAGONHEAD
SNAKE OIL SALESM 82--15865 46 54 1 310 DUNGEON CELL 97 (1497) DWES EG
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748 11 1 3 63 ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519) OLD VALAMANTIS
DOMINION 98-2058 23 28 3 153 ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 (1498) SYVYN'S HILL
AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206 9 5 4 35 BLOOD FROG 3 (1511) SOUTH RIDGE
NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)
For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.
AXIOM (11-3918) ERRATA (372)
MACHETE MOUSE (82-4566) MAMMAL MILITIA (616)
GONE TO GEORGIA (82-28596) STREET PIZZAD XXI (4657)
ROOT (82-31537) 4 LETTER BEER (5196)
SMOOTH (82-33235) TRANSITIONS (5487)
YELLOW DEUCE COUPE (82-33317) COLOR TUNES (5502)
ROOM 282 (82-33685) TEMPE -05 (5575)
UGAMUGGAH (82-41228) STREET PIZZAD XXII (5040)
TOUCHE' TURTLE (82-44789) KILLER KARTOONS (7535)
MIDSIZE WHOOPER (82-47794) COOL NAMES 22 (8035)
DAVID WAYBUR (84-5954) MEDAL OF HONOR F3 II (1124)
RODEO CLOWN (84-11743) TOUGHER GUYS (2136)
Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes