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Date   : 04/25/2012    Duedate: 05/08/2012

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 583

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 TEAM FLOYD 38/690    210  117   2 64.2      HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072
    LOOK OUT!! 24/1514                          MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439
    BLUNT FORCE 29/1512                         NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1517
    ARCANE GREATS FTF 96/1519                 5 ZOMBIE SQUAD 5/1524   95   97   0 49.5
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     665  439   5 60.2      ZOMBIE SQUAD 38/1526
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                            SERPENTS HOLD 40/1527
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            ZOMBIE SQUAD 3 98/1498
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                        ZOMBIE SQUAD II II 68/1495
    SHEWISH BUFFET 65/1528                    6 INQUISITION  2/1523   63   84   1 42.9
    DUNGEON CELL 97 82/1497                     ATTACKO/TCLONES05 82/1520
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                     LORDS OF DARKNESS 15/1318
  3 WRATHMEN 20/799       25   21   1 54.3      INQUISITION CLONES 38/1525
    WRATHMEN 24/805                           7 ARROGANCE 18/755     504  752  11 40.1
    WRATHMEN 27/807                             UNDER DURESS 64/741
    WRATHMEN 30/727                           8 CHILDREN OF 35/1415  758 1267   8 37.4
    WRATHMEN 41/818                           9-DARQUE AGES 52/1438   16   34   1 32.0
  4-SPARF! 20/1069      1160  986  16 54.1      DARQUE FORCES 45/1425
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                        10-STREET WALKE 29/129    5   11   0 31.2
    KING'S COURT 11/90                          STREET WALKERS 45/1507
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                       11 BLOOD FROG  99/1511    2   11   0 15.4
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         BLOOD FROGS 2 98/1510
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                     12 OPEN HAND 29/1518      0    6   0  0.0
    DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Another week, another spy report.  The Split has moved among us, taking away
those with the most promise.  Seems unfair, but I suppose it has to be.
     The most movement in the rankings occurred as a result of the fight between
Kiana and the Lazy Lookout:  Kiana up 34, the Lookout down 29.
     Shewish Banquet was most avoided by Open Hand.  Probably wise, those Shews have
some strange tastes.  Nobody seems to have been most challenged.
     We had fourteen fights, which is better than I'd hoped for, what with people
being sucked off to Talahaya.  Four challenges, which is way more than I'd expected.
Only one standby.  For a place that many gladiators look down on, we're doing well.

     PERCY QUIN 24 (82-29478) (18-40-0,62) of ATTACKO/TCLONES05 fought KOLACTAN KABOB
(65-7072) (19-2-3,78) of SHEWISH BUFFET.  PERCY QUIN 24 narrowly defeated KOLACTAN
KABOB in a crowd pleasing 3 minute conflict.  It was a good kabob, but a little more
pepper wouldn't hurt.
     BAKED CONVINCIA (98-2341) (15-14-4,69) of SHEWISH BANQUET fought HOFFA (18-9369)
(27-60-0,69) of ARROGANCE.  BAKED CONVINCIA handily defeated HOFFA in an exciting 3
minute one-sided contest.  This is, after all, what Hoffa's here for:  to be handily
defeated by all and sundry.
     RABID TOAD (98-2767) (9-3-4,54) of BLOOD FROGS 2 fought SHOCKING (2-5352) (15-
14-0,59) of INQUISITION SL5.  RABID TOAD was overpowered by SHOCKING in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.  This whole fight was shocking, if you ask me.
     AMPUTATOR FROG (99-3206) (9-9-4,38) of BLOOD FROG 3 fought HOFFA (18-8478) (21-
91-1,64) of ARROGANCE.  AMPUTATOR FROG savagely defeated HOFFA in an action packed 3
minute gory match.  And, of course, Hoffa can also be savagely defeated, as here.

     OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (62-106-1,100) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought DOOFUS (30-
437) (21-20-3,90) of WRATHMEN.  OWAIN HARLSON vanquished DOOFUS in a 1 minute one-
sided duel.  Owain actually looked like he knew what he was doing out there.
Amazing.
     SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (28-23-0,117) of SEA DOGS fought HYDROPONICUS (29-4605)
(23-7-0,99) of BLUNT FORCE.  SHARK BAIT was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a popular 1
minute uneven duel.  Hydro was on him like a shark on bait, no doubt.
     SCROD BOY (38-4675) (23-26-1,107) of INQUISITION CLONES fought SYSTEM OF A DOWN
(38-4451) (25-11-1,96) of TEAM FLOYD.  SCROD BOY was overpowered by SYSTEM OF A DOWN
in a 1 minute uneven melee.  Was there home-town rivalry here?
     SURLY DECKHAND (21-6568) (55-63-1,152) of SEA DOGS fought SLICK STEPHAN (101-11)
(0-0-0,150) of the Louts Local 101.  SURLY DECKHAND bested SLICK STEPHAN in a crowd
pleasing 4 minute bloody match.  The one standby fight.  Fairly even, as these things
go.
     LAZY LOOKOUT (42-4504) (37-31-1,171) of DUNGEON CELL fought KIANA (24-3878) (18-
11-0,129) of WRATHMEN.  LAZY LOOKOUT was overpowered by KIANA in a 1 minute
mismatched match.  The fight that resulted in the most ranking movements.

The challenges:
     DARIUS (29-5467) (16-13-1,49) of OPEN HAND challenged HAMMERHEAD (35-4129) (31-
32-2,65) of SEA DOGS.  Up 16.  DARIUS was devastated by HAMMERHEAD in a 1 minute one-
sided Challenge contest.  I hope the skills were good, Darius?  Such boldness
deserves a reward of some kind.
     WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? (38-4563) (16-3-0,80) of TEAM FLOYD challenged DOMINIC (30-
3545) (23-19-0,81) of WRATHMEN.  Up 1.  WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? was demolished by DOMINIC
in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.  And Dominic didn't know what a Volksie is,
either.
     PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL (96-3748) (12-3-3,32) of ARCANE GREATS FTF challenged
BEAULIEU (41-3057) (21-15-0,58) of WRATHMEN.  Up 26.  PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL was
vanquished by BEAULIEU in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.  Many gladiators like
pastrami.
     POOP SLINGER (24-4478) (21-5-0,137) of LOOK OUT!! challenged ASSUR (18-7821)
(35-88-2,144) of ARROGANCE.  Up 7.  POOP SLINGER bested ASSUR in a crowd pleasing 1
minute Challenge fight.  I will forego the obvious plays on words here.

For the title, since the Snake Oil Salesman has slithered off to Talahya:
     EM (15-3737) (32-50-0,158) of LORDS OF DARKNESS fought HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (49-
126-1,167) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  EM devastated HUW AP HUW in a 2 minute one-sided
Title duel.  Congratulations to Em.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EM 15-3737                   33  50     174  LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)   MALCORN

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-WAHOO 26-3916                27  18  1  210  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          41  43  1  204  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
-DON KING 47-5374             36  34  3  204  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    46  17  1  199  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
-GOLDIE 29-4805               31  18  5  190  STREET WALKERS (129)       LAPUR
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       42  31     183  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315        24  26  1  182  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-JOE KING 47-2223             35  58  1  176  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        32  14  1  171  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-CUJO 11-925                  34  40  2  169  KING'S COURT (90)          ARUAK CITY
-WASTED 20-3085               23  18  3  169  WRATHMEN (799)             SEAM
 KIANA 24-3878                19  11     163  WRATHMEN (805)             ZORPUNT
-JACK KNIFE 47-6694           27  13  1  162  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       56  63  1  159  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030           49 127  1  153  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-HOCKEY DUCK 39-937           38  31  1  150  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478         22   5     147  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504         37  32  1  142  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 ASSUR 18-7821                35  89  2  140  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-PORKY PIG 72-5953            27  15  2  137  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605         24   7     122  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
-ACE OF BASE 47-6905          21  13     119  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451     26  11  1  112  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130        63 106  1  108  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           28  24     102  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOMINIC 30-3545              24  19      98  WRATHMEN (727)             IAYE
 SCROD BOY 38-4675            23  27  1   95  INQUISITION CLONES (1525)  CLIFFHOME

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PERCY QUIN 24 82-29478       19  40      85  ATTACKO/TCLONES05 (1520)   DWES EG
 DOOFUS 30-437                21  21  3   83  WRATHMEN (727)             IAYE
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      16  14  4   82  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
-DOMINIC 27-3085              30  18      80  WRATHMEN (807)             POINT
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           32  32  2   74  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
 SHOCKING 2-5352              16  14      72  INQUISITION SL5 (1523)     NIANIA
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563    16   4      71  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
-SCUTTLEBUTT 33-7702          16   2      69  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072       19   3  3   68  SHEWISH BUFFET (1528)      DAL SHANG
 BEAULIEU 41-3057             22  15      66  WRATHMEN (818)             KATI-TEI
 HOFFA 18-9369                27  61      60  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206       10   9  4   59  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE
-CALLOUS COURTNEY 45-4622     16   3  2   53  STREET WALKERS (1507)      STORMCROWE
 HOFFA 18-8478                21  92  1   46  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 RABID TOAD 98-2767            9   4  4   46  BLOOD FROGS 2 (1510)       SYVYN'S HILL
 DARIUS 29-5467               16  14  1   43  OPEN HAND (1518)           LAPUR
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748   12   4  3   31  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Dominic -- There are two of you?  That's not very sporting.  I saw our match-up on
the boards and I was mentally prepared to fight Dominic, only to discover that I had
to fight Dominic instead.  That completely threw me off my game. -- Baked Convincia

     Be glad you weren't in Darkholm, slated to fight one of three separate Hoffas.

I guess the B&G Bouncer likes pastrami.

     Probably.  He seems to like almost anything.

Huw Ap Huw -- My friends tell me that I made sounds like that the first time I drank
too much ale.  Personally, I don't remember, but I guess it must've happened since
they won't stop harassing me about it. -- Kiana

What's a Volksie? -- I give up.  What is a Volksie? -- Bequlieu

Hoffa -- I was hoping for better learns, but I'll take whatever I can get.  Thanks.
-- Dominic

Baked Convincia -- Uhh... no thank you.  I've already eaten. -- Dominic, fearful it
might be one of his neighbors

Smoke -- Don't mind if I do. -- Wasted

Snake Oil Salesman -- You will be missed in your absence, just as, curse you, you
were missed every time we met you on the sands in your presence. -- the Children of
Llyr

Surly Deckhand, and Olaf -- My winning streak is FINE.  This was a superficial
setback. -- Owain Harlson

Kiana -- You aren't obliged to answer personal questions from Olaf!  I showed you
some of my skills, and that should be enough. -- Huw ap Huw
P.S.  Although if you want to come and learn certain interpersonal skills in a
private setting, I could go with that.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

POOP SLINGER bested ASSUR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL was vanquished by BEAULIEU in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? was demolished by DOMINIC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
DARIUS was devastated by HAMMERHEAD in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
LAZY LOOKOUT was overpowered by KIANA in a 1 minute mismatched match.
EM devastated HUW AP HUW in a 2 minute one-sided Title duel.
SURLY DECKHAND bested SLICK STEPHAN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match.
SCROD BOY was overpowered by SYSTEM OF A DOWN in a 1 minute uneven melee.
SHARK BAIT was vanquished by HYDROPONICUS in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
OWAIN HARLSON vanquished DOOFUS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
AMPUTATOR FROG savagely defeated HOFFA in a action packed 3 minute gory match.
RABID TOAD was overpowered by SHOCKING in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
BAKED CONVINCIA handily defeated HOFFA in a exciting 3 minute one-sided contest.
PERCY QUIN 24 narrowly defeated KOLACTAN KABOB in a crowd pleasing 3 minute conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       9         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   1 -  0      83  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -   5 -  0      74  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW        40 -  28 -  0      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  17 -  0      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  25 -  1      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         PARRY-STRIKE       8 -  14 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         TOTAL PARRY        9 -  21 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  16 -  0      27  |

Turn 583 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         4  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         3  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         5 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       EM 15-3737                 33  50  0  174 LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)
SLASHING ATTACK  KIANA 24-3878              19  11  0  163 WRATHMEN (805)
BASHING ATTACK   SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568     56  63  1  159 SEA DOGS (1446)
PARRY-STRIKE     HUW AP HUW 35-3030         49 127  1  153 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
PARRY-LUNGE      LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504       37  32  1  142 DUNGEON CELL (1470)
STRIKING ATTACK  OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130      63 106  1  108 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
WALL OF STEEL    DOMINIC 30-3545            24  19  0   98 WRATHMEN (727)
LUNGING ATTACK   DOOFUS 30-437              21  21  3   83 WRATHMEN (727)
TOTAL PARRY      HOFFA 18-9369              27  61  0   60 ARROGANCE (755)

The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072.  The ten other most popular fighters were AMPUTATOR 
FROG 99-3206, SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568, BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341, POOP SLINGER 24-4478, 
EM 15-3737, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, SHOCKING 2-5352, ASSUR 18-7821, HAMMERHEAD 35-4129, 
and HYDROPONICUS 29-4605.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 18-9369.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were DOOFUS 30-437, LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504, DARIUS 29-5467, WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 
38-4563, RABID TOAD 98-2767, HOFFA 18-8478, SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451, SCROD BOY 
38-4675, PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748, and OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  IAYE(30)             1  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
MALCORN(15)          1  0 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  3 0  MURSKA(35)           2  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          2  0 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
LAPUR(29)            1  1 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHOCKING 2-5352             16  14  0   72  INQUISITION SL5 (1523)     NIANIA
 EM 15-3737                  33  50  0  174  LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)   MALCORN
 ASSUR 18-7821               35  89  2  140  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      56  63  1  159  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 KIANA 24-3878               19  11  0  163  WRATHMEN (805)             ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605        24   7  0  122  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 DOMINIC 30-3545             24  19  0   98  WRATHMEN (727)             IAYE
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652          28  24  0  102  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          49 127  1  153  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451    26  11  1  112  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 BEAULIEU 41-3057            22  15  0   66  WRATHMEN (818)             KATI-TEI
 LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504        37  32  1  142  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072      19   3  3   68  SHEWISH BUFFET (1528)      DAL SHANG
 PERCY QUIN 24 82-29478      19  40  0   85  ATTACKO/TCLONES05 (1520)   DWES EG
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748  12   4  3   31  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341     16  14  4   82  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206      10   9  4   59  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE