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Date   : 11/07/2012    Duedate: 11/20/2012

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 597

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 TEAM FLOYD 38/690    251  151   2 62.4      WORLDWIDE GORE 73/913
    LOOK OUT!! 24/1514                          DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221
    BLUNT FORCE 29/1512                         HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072
    COLLEGE RADIO 51/1541                       MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439
    I C DRUNK PEOPLE 41/1543                    WESTERN FRONTIER 71/1544
    ARCANE GREATS FTF 96/1519                 4-WRATHMEN 24/805       51   49   2 51.0
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     717  482   6 59.8    5 ATTACKO/TCL 82/1520   88  103   2 46.1
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                            LORDS OF DARKNESS 15/1318
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            INQUISITION CLONES 38/1525
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                      6 PUBLIC ENEM 50/1530    9   13   0 40.9
    SHEWISH BUFFET 65/1528                      ASIAN INVASION 54/1542
    SHEWISH BUFFET 78/1537                    7 BLOOD GANG 99/1532     2    3   0 40.0
    DUNGEON CELL 27 84/1539                   8 ARROGANCE 18/755     515  783  11 39.7
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                   9 SAND DANCERS 78/775  771 1293   9 37.4
  3-SPARF! 20/1069      1229 1027  17 54.5      CHILDREN OF LLYR 35/1415
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                        10 TREKKERS 29/1534      36   67   3 35.0
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                          THE WALKING DEAD 32/1538
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                      11 BLOOD FROG  99/1511   10   20   0 33.3
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Well, what are you looking at, HOME GUARD?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed 
to see LAZY LOOKOUT win a fight and gain 53 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, HAMMERHEAD 
beat KURTAL DUCK and KURTAL DUCK lost 28 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And if 
variety is the spice of life, HOME GUARD may be getting bland, as POOP SLINGER stays 
top dog in the city.  The Bash & Glug, humph!  I've tasted better ale at mortuaries.  
Where do they get this stuff?  From HOME GUARD's trash dumps?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, HOFFA was this turn's 
most challenged warrior.  Watch that ego swell, sports fans.  And we have ROTTING 
ROLAND in a challenge, going down 13 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought 
ROTTING ROLAND showed great skill and promise when he defeated HOFFA.  All right, so 
I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only 
shines through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     What does the HOME GUARD arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Just wait 'till next time I show 
up here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  I see the crowds are getting restless, I 
must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478         35   6     286  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504         45  38  2  246  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
-ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          49  44  1  220  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 EM 15-3737                   40  57  1  217  LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)   MALCORN
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    50  22  2  216  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DON KING 47-5374             43  36  3  216  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-KIANA 24-3878                24  16     207  WRATHMEN (805)             ZORPUNT
-JACK KNIFE 47-6694           32  17  1  203  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       48  34     198  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
-LEE LEE LO LEE 38-4653       33  14  2  197  INQUISITION CLONES (1525)  CLIFFHOME
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030           53 137  2  195  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315        30  28  1  195  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072       29   7  3  195  SHEWISH BUFFET (1528)      DAL SHANG
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       62  71  1  194  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
-ACE OF BASE 47-6905          27  16     192  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605         30  15     189  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
-HOCKEY DUCK 39-937           43  35  1  188  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-WAHOO 26-3916                33  21  1  177  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
 ASSUR 18-7821                40  98  2  174  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        36  19  1  167  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      26  18  4  163  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451     33  18  1  158  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-PORKY PIG 72-5953            30  21  2  144  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           34  32     142  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206       18  15  4  142  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE
-CROSS CZECH 73-4008          20  14  3  130  WORLDWIDE GORE (913)       ERINIKA
-PERCY QUIN 24 82-29478       24  43     119  ATTACKO/TCLONES05 (1520)   DWES EG
 SULU 29-5705                 25  18     109  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 RALTUMAN OMELET 78-2857      17   5  2  101  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130        70 113  1   99  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-RED HOT CHILE PAPA 73-3358   25  16  1   98  WORLDWIDE GORE (913)       ERINIKA
-MONGOL HORDE 73-4001         19   9  4   96  WORLDWIDE GORE (913)       ERINIKA
-HIRED GOON 84-4856           15   4  2   95  DUNGEON CELL 27 (1539)     BLACKSTONE
 JACK DANIELS 41-3947         17   4      91  I C DRUNK PEOPLE (1543)    KATI-TEI

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROTTING ROLAND 32-5437       20   6      88  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
 CAPTAIN KIRK 29-5754         18  10  1   85  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748   18  12  3   80  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 QIONG YING 54-1341           20  18      79  ASIAN INVASION (1542)      TROCAR
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563    23  11      78  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 NERO 29-5707                 22  21      72  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 HOFFA 18-8478                24 103  1   62  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 TONG PAK FU 54-1747          15   9  1   62  ASIAN INVASION (1542)      TROCAR
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           38  40  2   61  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
-APPLESEED 59-2662            19   2  1   60  IMPROVED ILLUSION (1431)   ILLIS
 THRESHPACK 50-138            27  22      59  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 RUPTURE 99-3463              10   5  4   58  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE
 RED ALERT 50-139             29  21      54  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 HOFFA 18-9369                30  72      52  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-ALBUQUERQUE 71-6009          13   2  1   42  WESTERN FRONTIER (1544)    KYR'TERR
 KURTAL DUCK 78-2861          26  36  1   40  SAND DANCERS (775)         LIN TIRIAN
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074         19  18  1   39  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
HYDROPONICUS 29-4605      30  15  0 BLUNT FORCE 1512       LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504      597

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

We were actually thinking of doing personals for Home Guard.  Really, we were.  But
when we went to get the Hands, they were fully involved with typing the tourney spy
report.  Totally would not stop that.  Bummer.  And not only that, we were told that
Olaf was "too busy" with the tourney spy report (I hear he was drunk during the whole
tourney) to do a spy report for Home Guard today.  Oh, well, insist on something good
next time! -- Huw ap Huw

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CAPTAIN KIRK devastated THRESHPACK in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
ROTTING ROLAND demolished HOFFA in a popular 5 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
POOP SLINGER devastated HUW AP HUW in a popular 1 minute one-sided Title contest.
EM subdued KOLACTAN KABOB in a crowd pleasing 5 minute competition.
HYDROPONICUS was barely slain by LAZY LOOKOUT in a crowd pleasing 5 minute fight.
ASSUR devastated SULU in a action packed 1 minute gruesome one-sided competition.
SURLY DECKHAND vanquished SYSTEM OF A DOWN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BAKED CONVINCIA defeated KATRINA in a action packed 3 minute gory duel.
RALTUMAN OMELET was overpowered by AMPUTATOR FROG in a 1 minute uneven match.
SHARK BAIT was overpowered by KATRINA in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
OWAIN HARLSON handily defeated RED ALERT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
RUPTURE was overpowered by WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL savagely defeated MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
HOFFA was vanquished by QIONG YING in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
KURTAL DUCK was devastated by HAMMERHEAD in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
TONG PAK FU overpowered MANNY LEHMAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
JACK DANIELS overpowered NERO in a 2 minute bloody one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                      11         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  18 -  0      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    19 -  12 -  0      61  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   2 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW        53 -  46 -  2      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         WALL OF STEEL     19 -  18 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   22 -  21 -  0      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  25 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -  18 -  1      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         TOTAL PARRY        5 -  17 -  0      23  |

Turn 597 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     3 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         3  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         6 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  POOP SLINGER 24-4478       35   6  0  286 LOOK OUT!! (1514)
PARRY-LUNGE      LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504       45  38  2  246 DUNGEON CELL (1470)
AIMED BLOW       EM 15-3737                 40  57  1  217 LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)
PARRY-STRIKE     HUW AP HUW 35-3030         53 137  2  195 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
LUNGING ATTACK   KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072     29   7  3  195 SHEWISH BUFFET (1528)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568     62  71  1  194 SEA DOGS (1446)
WALL OF STEEL    BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341    26  18  4  163 SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)
STRIKING ATTACK  RALTUMAN OMELET 78-2857    17   5  2  101 SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)
TOTAL PARRY      HOFFA 18-8478              24 103  1   62 ARROGANCE (755)

The overall popularity leader is HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072.  The ten other most popular fighters were LAZY 
LOOKOUT 42-4504, HYDROPONICUS 29-4605, PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748, ROTTING ROLAND 
32-5437, CAPTAIN KIRK 29-5754, EM 15-3737, JACK DANIELS 41-3947, ASSUR 18-7821, BAKED 
CONVINCIA 98-2341, and OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130.

The least popular fighter this week was MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were KURTAL DUCK 78-2861, HOFFA 18-9369, RUPTURE 99-3463, RALTUMAN 
OMELET 78-2857, SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451, RED ALERT 50-139, SHARK BAIT 33-7652, SURLY 
DECKHAND 21-6568, SULU 29-5705, and HUW AP HUW 35-3030.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MALCORN(15)          1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           2  1 0  TROCAR(54)           2  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       0  2 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 1  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
LAPUR(29)            1  3 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        0  2 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
ARVAT(32)            1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  
NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EM 15-3737                  40  57  1  217  LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)   MALCORN
 ASSUR 18-7821               40  98  2  174  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568      62  71  1  194  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 POOP SLINGER 24-4478        35   6  0  286  LOOK OUT!! (1514)          ZORPUNT
 HYDROPONICUS 29-4605        30  15  0  189  BLUNT FORCE (1512)         LAPUR
 ROTTING ROLAND 32-5437      20   6  0   88  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652          34  32  0  142  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          53 137  2  195  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SYSTEM OF A DOWN 38-4451    33  18  1  158  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 JACK DANIELS 41-3947        17   4  0   91  I C DRUNK PEOPLE (1543)    KATI-TEI
 LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504        45  38  2  246  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 THRESHPACK 50-138           27  22  0   59  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074        19  18  1   39  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS
 QIONG YING 54-1341          20  18  0   79  ASIAN INVASION (1542)      TROCAR
 KOLACTAN KABOB 65-7072      29   7  3  195  SHEWISH BUFFET (1528)      DAL SHANG
 RALTUMAN OMELET 78-2857     17   5  2  101  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN
 PASTRAMI ELEMENTAL 96-3748  18  12  3   80  ARCANE GREATS FTF (1519)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341     26  18  4  163  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 AMPUTATOR FROG 99-3206      18  15  4  142  BLOOD FROG 3 (1511)        SOUTH RIDGE