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Date   : 09/11/2013    Duedate: 09/24/2013

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 619

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 D.R.I. 21/1471        28   15   1 65.1    9 STAR WARS 61/1577      7    7   0 50.0
  2 SEA DOGS 21/1446     816  547   7 59.9   10 RED FURY 9/786       145  146   0 49.8
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                            RUNEBLADES 75/1585
    SHEWISH BUFFET 61/1562                      SOUL WARRIORS 38/357
    SHEWISH BUFFET 63/1568                   11 T-3 98/1591           96   99   0 49.2
    SHEWISH BUFFET 78/1537                      YOU PAY I SLAY 8/1500
  3 TEAM FLOYD 38/690    340  230   2 59.6   12 TREKKERS 29/1534     106  139   4 43.3
    DODEKATHEON 99/1590                         BLOOD AND SAND 21/1545
    POKER GREATS 1/1570                         MONSTER MANUAL 81/1582
    HOMER'S PETS 74/1569                        THE HITCHHIKERS 11/1564
    COLLEGE RADIO 51/1541                       THE WALKING DEAD 32/1538
    I C DRUNK PEOPLE 41/1543                 13 AVENGERS 31/1321      91  119   0 43.3
    THE MOTHERSHIP CE 65/1579                   ALTER EGO! 74/1379
  4 SORE LOSERS 21/1580   87   64   0 57.6      PUNCH-OUT! 56/1359
    CREAM OF THE SLOP 2/589                     AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323
  5 CLASSIC ROC 84/1596    4    3   0 57.1      BUSY, BUSYTOWN 35/1375
  6-WRATHMEN 24/805       99   76   2 56.6      LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348
    WRATHMEN 36/923                          14 WAH CHING 52/1565     57   76   0 42.9
    WRATHMEN 63/1563                            PUBLIC ENEMY 50/1530
    ARENAS III 71/1594                          ASIAN INVASION 54/1542
    WRATHMEN Z 30/1592                       15-OOPS? 35/1574          3    4   0 42.9
    WRATHMEN XIV 71/1581                        THE UNHOLY ONES 21/1586
    WRATHMEN XXV 71/1558                     16 ARROGANCE 18/755     534  830  11 39.1
    WRATHMEN DM 20 11/1536                   17 SAND DANCERS 78/775  794 1326   9 37.5
  7 NEW YORK 71/1595    1256 1046  18 54.6      CHILDREN OF LLYR 35/1415
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                       18 FURRY FURY 81/1593    22   37   0 37.3
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                        BLOOD FROGS 2 98/1510
    DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221                     NUCLEAR WASTES 82/1588
    MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439                     MURDEROUS FROGS 3 98/1589
    IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS 7/1067              19 RANDOM CHAO 21/1587    0    1   0  0.0
  8 BLOOD GANG 99/1532    13   13   0 50.0

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Here we are, and I have to tell you I'm a little surprised at that.  We had a
major rain last night, and a lot of things got soaked, melted, or otherwise damaged.
Us dead guys don't do well in heavy rain, you know.  But I lasted, and now you're 
stuck with me instead of the Unknown Spymaster.
     Significant point movements:  Porky Pig, up 32.  Apparently Mickey Hatcher is a
melon, now a mashed one.  Brandon, down 23.
     Lots of avoids, but nobody got Most Avoided.  Equal handed avoidance.
     Hoffa, one of 'em, anyway, got the most challenges.
     Twenty-eight fights, seven challenges, two standbys.

     ARTHUR DENT (11-7305) (22-27-0,62) of THE HITCHHIKERS fought KATANA (31-6349)
(21-7-1,68) of AVENGERS.  ARTHUR DENT was handily defeated by KATANA in a popular 1
minute one-sided duel.  Arthur got dented.
     URA GONER (8-5214) (7-1-0,22) of YOU PAY I SLAY fought BRANDON (21-7641) (14-6-
4,52) of RANDOM CHAOS.  URA GONER overpowered BRANDON in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
Which resulted in Brandon dropping in the rankings like an unmashed melon.
     NAKED LUNCH (78-2917) (20-18-0,58) of SHEWISH BUFFET fought KALI (38-3152) (15-
4-1,50) of SOUL WARRIORS.  NAKED LUNCH lost to KALI in a 2 minute fray.  Naked in the
rain, not a good idea.
     MONTY BURNS (82-55805) (17-26-0,69) of NUCLEAR WASTES fought KUNG PAO KOLACTAN
(63-2882) (23-14-2,77) of SHEWISH BUFFET.  MONTY BURNS lost to KUNG PAO KOLACTAN in a
1 minute bout.  I heard something about food poisoning?
     FREE BIRD (84-29006) (15-9-1,55) of CLASSIC ROCK fought DARTH VADAR (61-3725)
(22-20-2,83) of STAR WARS.  FREE BIRD was overpowered by DARTH VADAR in a 1 minute
one-sided bout.  Ah.  Freedom is what you can defend.  Not today for the Bird.

     INNARD SKINARD (98-3573) (9-2-4,39) of T-3 fought KURTAL DUCK (78-2861) (34-49-
1,51) of SAND DANCERS.  INNARD SKINARD was vanquished by KURTAL DUCK in a 2 minute
gruesome one-sided match.  Duck soup, I guess.
     VULCAN (99-3864) (8-2-4,30) of DODEKATHEON fought PIRES (7-5665) (16-7-0,65) of
IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS.  VULCAN was viciously subdued by PIRES in a popular 3 minute
gory one-sided bout.  Gotta watch Pires, he kicks.  Probably bites, too.
     HARE BINGER (81-1790) (22-16-2,96) of FURRY FURY fought LI KUI (52-851) (24-22-
1,60) of WAH CHING.  HARE BINGER savagely defeated LI KUI in an action packed 3
minute gruesome fray.  He's a wild hare indeed.
     CROUCHING HAMSTER (21-6184) (27-23-1,99) of D.R.I. fought XAVIER (75-2071) (18-
6-2,86) of RUNEBLADES.  CROUCHING HAMSTER was overpowered by XAVIER in a 1 minute
one-sided duel.  You know what they say, crouching hamster, hidden gecko.
     ROTTING ROLAND (32-5437) (30-17-0,117) of THE WALKING DEAD fought FAST-FINGERS
FRED (101-7) (0-0-0,110) of the Louts Local 101.  ROTTING ROLAND viciously subdued
FAST-FINGERS FRED in a 3 minute gory contest.  Good.

     THRESHPACK (50-138) (32-38-0,134) of PUBLIC ENEMY fought CRIXUS (21-7100) (33-
32-0,146) of BLOOD AND SAND.  THRESHPACK was overpowered by CRIXUS in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute one-sided match.  These bloody-handed guys have a short way with
public enemies.  Or private ones.
     DOPPLEGANGER (81-1382) (26-28-0,127) of MONSTER MANUAL fought NASTY NES (50-142)
(39-39-1,146) of PUBLIC ENEMY.  DOPPLEGANGER was defeated by NASTY NES in an exciting
3 minute brutal bout.  Interesting, Nes got both of 'em.  If there really were two; I
think they do it with mirrors.
     RUPTURE (99-3463) (20-15-4,168) of BLOOD GANG fought RABID TOAD (98-2767) (16-
19-4,118) of BLOOD FROGS 2.  RUPTURE devastated RABID TOAD in a 1 minute mismatched
brawl.  And then, Rupture administered a rabies shot.  I didn't know they made 'em
for toads.
     ASSUR (18-7821) (50-109-2,180) of ARROGANCE fought DROW (81-1774) (27-23-1,112)
of MONSTER MANUAL.  ASSUR devastated DROW in an exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
Nothing like massive experience.
     MICKEY HATCHER (74-3356) (26-7-0,168) of ALTER EGO! fought PORKY PIG (72-5953)
(32-23-2,146) of MEAT YOUR MAKER.  MICKEY HATCHER was handily defeated by PORKY PIG
in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.  The custodians here at the arena were annoyed by
all the melon seeds mashed into the sands.

     TEDDY RUXPIN (11-6399) (39-25-1,161) of LORDS OF CHAOS fought SLAP YOURSELF
SILLY (21-4697) (43-41-0,165) of SORE LOSERS.  TEDDY RUXPIN was savagely defeated by
SLAP YOURSELF SILLY in a popular 7 minute brawl.  Slap who, eh?
     HORSE D'OEUVRE (61-3635) (33-5-3,190) of SHEWISH BUFFET fought HUNGRY HAROLD 
(101-29) (0-0-0,200) of the Louts Local 101.  HORSE D'OEUVRE was handily defeated by
HUNGRY HAROLD in a 1 minute one-sided contest.  A natural.
     GOPHER BAROQUE (2-3359) (74-64-0,191) of CREAM OF THE SLOP fought RALTUMAN
OMELET (78-2857) (30-13-2,178) of SHEWISH BUFFET.  GOPHER BAROQUE was savagely
defeated by RALTUMAN OMELET in an exciting 4 minute match.  That Omelet is a tough
egg, and don't you forget it.
     SHARK BAIT (33-7652) (49-38-0,196) of SEA DOGS fought HOCKEY DUCK (39-937) (44-
39-1,192) of DUCKS UNLIMITED.  SHARK BAIT overpowered HOCKEY DUCK in a 3 minute one-
sided melee.  Do not swim in this lake, Duck.  There are worse things than sharks in
there.
     CAPTAIN KIRK (29-5754) (35-14-1,183) of TREKKERS fought DON KING (47-5374) (44-
40-3,193) of ROYAL FLUSH.  CAPTAIN KIRK was vanquished by DON KING in a 1 minute one-
sided fight.  It's a rank thing.

The challenges:
     FROG FRACTURE (98-3813) (12-0-3,77) of MURDEROUS FROGS 3 challenged NERO (29-
5707) (29-35-0,77) of TREKKERS.  Straight across. FROG FRACTURE was luckily killed by
NERO in an action packed 4 minute Challenge melee.  Being killed is luck?  Well, for
some people, like, for instance, me, but most folks don't see it that way.
     SPIDERPIG (74-4304) (26-12-0,48) of HOMER'S PETS challenged HOFFA (18-8478) (29-
119-1,69) of ARROGANCE.  Up 21.  SPIDERPIG overpowered HOFFA in a crowd pleasing 3
minute one-sided Challenge struggle.  This might be the Most Challenged Hoffa.  I
don't know how many we have here at the moment, sometimes two or three....
     WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? (38-4563) (30-25-0,73) of TEAM FLOYD challenged HOFFA (18-
9369) (33-90-0,45) of ARROGANCE.  Down 28.  WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? overpowered HOFFA in a
2 minute mismatched Challenge match.  Right, proving my point.
     MANNY LEHMAN (51-5074) (26-32-1,91) of COLLEGE RADIO challenged RED ALERT (50-
139) (38-33-0,96) of PUBLIC ENEMY.  Up 5.  MANNY LEHMAN was bested by RED ALERT in a
2 minute Challenge fight.  Manny was supposed to pay attention to those fire drills,
but did he?  No!  So the Red Alert caught him napping.
     JACK DANIELS (41-3947) (27-15-0,141) of I C DRUNK PEOPLE challenged RUBBER
BULLET (54-2503) (38-21-1,160) of USELESS TOOLS.  Up 19.  JACK DANIELS narrowly
defeated RUBBER BULLET in a 2 minute Challenge duel.  That's not so bad; there are
people that Jack defeats WIDELY and OFTEN.
     IRONIC TWIST (65-7198) (28-2-1,152) of THE MOTHERSHIP CE challenged OWAIN
HARLSON (35-3130) (77-127-1,130) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Down 22.  IRONIC TWIST
overcame OWAIN HARLSON in a 2 minute Challenge match.  Where's the irony in this?
     PHIL HELLMUTH (1-7842) (31-10-1,167) of POKER GREATS challenged SULU (29-5705)
(34-30-0,188) of TREKKERS.  Up 21.  PHIL HELLMUTH devastated SULU in an action packed
2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Sulu thought he could bluff, but he doesn't
have a poker face.  Just as well, I've known people with poker faces, and talk about
UGLY!

For the title:
     CAO ZHENG (54-85) (42-43-6,213) of ASIAN INVASION fought DAGAN (21-7201) (32-23-
0,182) of BLOOD AND SAND.  CAO ZHENG vanquished DAGAN in an action packed 1 minute
one-sided Title duel.  Good work, Cao Zheng.

                                       Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CAO ZHENG 54-85              43  43  6  224  ASIAN INVASION (1542)      TROCAR

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       71  73  1  281  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 DON KING 47-5374             45  40  3  211  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHARK BAIT 33-7652           50  38     209  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 RALTUMAN OMELET 78-2857      31  13  2  198  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN
 PHIL HELLMUTH 1-7842         32  10  1  193  POKER GREATS (1570)        MORDANT
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937           44  40  1  186  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359        74  65     185  CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)    NIANIA
 HORSE D'OEUVRE 61-3635       33   6  3  183  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 ASSUR 18-7821                51 109  2  182  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SLAP YOURSELF SILLY 21-4697  44  41     179  SORE LOSERS (1580)         SUNSET
 PORKY PIG 72-5953            33  23  2  178  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
-OHMYGOD 63-2147              29  10  1  178  WRATHMEN (1563)            AMEN-TEI
 CAPTAIN KIRK 29-5754         35  15  1  177  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 DAGAN 21-7201                32  24     177  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
 SULU 29-5705                 34  31     173  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 RUPTURE 99-3463              21  15  4  170  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JACK DANIELS 41-3947         28  15     168  I C DRUNK PEOPLE (1543)    KATI-TEI
 TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399         39  26  1  161  LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)      ARUAK CITY
 CRIXUS 21-7100               34  32     156  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
 IRONIC TWIST 65-7198         29   2  1  154  THE MOTHERSHIP CE (1579)   DAL SHANG

GRAND ADEPTS