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Date   : 01/01/2014    Duedate: 01/14/2014

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 627

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 SEA DOGS 18/426      852  565   8 60.1      USELESS TOOLS 54/735
    SEA DOGS 21/1446                            DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                          7 CLASSIC ROC 84/1596    6    5   0 54.5
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                        ANCIENT CURSES 84/1617
    SHEWISH BUFFET 61/1562                    8-FALSE OVERTU 75/849  346  292   5 54.2
    SHEWISH BUFFET 63/1568                    9 T-3 98/1591          113  114   0 49.8
    SHEWISH BUFFET 78/1537                      MMM BEER! 13/1606
    DUNGEON CELL 35 84/1615                     ZOMBIE SQUAD 14/1616
  2 TEAM FLOYD 38/690    364  258   2 58.5      SERPENTS HOLD 26/1608
    DODEKATHEON 99/1590                         SERPENTS HOLD 36/1609
    COLLEGE RADIO 32/1603                       SERPENTS' HOLD 1/1618
    COLLEGE RADIO 51/1541                       SERPENTS' HOLD 3/1604
    HAPPY FUN TIME 35/1613                      YOU PAY I SLAY 8/1500
    TALON'S TERRORS 16/1610                     SERPENTS HOLD 3 9/1605
    THE SAVAGE KINKS 22/1602                    SERPENTS HOLD 114 16/1607
    THE MOTHERSHIP CC 19/1611                10 RUNEBLADES 75/1585   150  152   0 49.7
    UNC COLLEGE RADIO 43/1614                11 TREKKERS 29/1534     133  169   4 44.0
    ANDROID DUNGEON 010 25/1612                 BLOOD AND SAND 21/1545
  3 WRATHMEN 63/1563     120   87   2 58.0      THE HITCHHIKERS 11/1564
    ARENAS III 71/1594                          THE WALKING DEAD 32/1538
    WRATHMEN XIV 71/1581                     12 WAH CHING 52/1565     73   97   1 42.9
    WRATHMEN XXV 71/1558                        PUBLIC ENEMY 50/1530
    WRATHMEN DM 20 11/1536                   13 ARROGANCE 18/755     539  849  11 38.8
    GARBAGE PAIL KIDS 16/1601                14 FURRY FURY 11/1598    43   72   0 37.4
  4 SORE LOSERS 21/1580   95   72   0 56.9      FURRY FURY 81/1593
    CREAM OF THE SLOP 2/589                     BATTLE FROGS 35/1597
  5 BLOOD GANG 99/1532    19   15   0 55.9      BLOOD FROGS 2 98/1510
  6-THE BULLS 73/1144   1273 1057  18 54.6      NUCLEAR WASTES 82/1588
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                          MURDEROUS FROGS 3 98/1589

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly HOME GUARD games.  ARTHUR DENT caught the eye of many 
in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested SLAP YOURSELF SILLY and was 
awarded 45 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, ARTHUR 
DENT put down SLAP YOURSELF SILLY, causing him to lose 43 points of recognition in 
the process.  Although DAGAN made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to topple the 
reign of victorious RUPTURE.  No confirmation, but my sources claim that the top team 
has gained their position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In HOME GUARD "art" is a word that has 
long since passed from the language!   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms.  One thing 
is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till next we 
meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by 
the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RUPTURE 99-3463              27  17  4  252  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROTTING ROLAND 32-5437       36  20     207  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
-OHMYGOD 63-2147              32  11  1  192  WRATHMEN (1563)            AMEN-TEI
 GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359        79  68     190  CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)    NIANIA
 ASSUR 18-7821                56 112  2  190  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
-DON KING 47-5374             47  43  3  190  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 DAGAN 21-7201                35  29     183  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
-HOCKEY DUCK 39-937           45  44  1  181  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SAMWELL 9-4079               31   9  1  177  THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787)    ZUKAL
-RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        41  24  1  173  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 RED ALERT 50-139             42  38  1  169  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 RABID TOAD 98-2767           19  25  4  169  BLOOD FROGS 2 (1510)       SYVYN'S HILL
 VIPER 3-7087                 41  41     167  SERPENTS' HOLD (1604)      OSKSI
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563    35  29     162  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 ARTHUR DENT 11-7305          29  29     158  THE HITCHHIKERS (1564)     ARUAK CITY
 BURIED TREASURE 33-7722      24   9     158  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
-B'ZIADUL 71-3311             32  21  1  157  WRATHMEN XIV (1581)        KYR'TERR
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074         32  35  1  154  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS
-MORELLA 29-3830              22  13     153  THE GUILD (432)            LAPUR

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-FLY FISHER 21-6727           34   9  1  149  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 HARE BINGER 81-1790          27  19  2  148  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
-THE ROOSTER 40-2888          28  20     146  MURDER BY MUSIC II (730)   ZENSU
 KUNG PAO KOLACTAN 63-2882    29  17  2  143  SHEWISH BUFFET (1568)      AMEN-TEI
-SINCEMILLA 71-3308           24   8     140  WRATHMEN XIV (1581)        KYR'TERR
 NASTY NES 50-142             43  44  1  137  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 SLAP YOURSELF SILLY 21-4697  47  46     136  SORE LOSERS (1580)         SUNSET
 VIPER 36-7544                32  16     134  SERPENTS HOLD (1609)       JHANS
 YELLOWBEARD 18-2149          33  20     133  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 XAVIER 75-2071               24   9  2  132  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
-ELLORIEN 9-4150              23  15     132  THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787)    ZUKAL
 FISHWIFE 33-7822             22  20  4  110  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
-EUROPEAN HAND BULL 73-3099   22  11     108  THE BULLS (1144)           ERINIKA
 THRESHPACK 50-138            34  45     101  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HULL SCRUBBER 33-7823        21   1  1  100  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
-BRUNHILDE 3-7278             26  15  4   97  AESIR (256)                OSKSI
 TOXIC SLUDGE 13-5511         23  22  2   96  MMM BEER! (1606)           DULLENS
 LI KUI 52-851                28  27  1   95  WAH CHING (1565)           FRATSFA
-LING 75-2082                 25  11  1   92  FALSE OVERTURES (849)      JADE MOUNTAIN
 WELL DON 16-6079             22   3      92  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1601)   WILLAF

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SEAM 71-3319                 19   3  2   90  ARENAS III (1594)          KYR'TERR
 URCHIN 42-4522               15   1      87  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
-DAEMYN 71-2940               11   4      85  WRATHMEN XXV (1558)        KYR'TERR
 HARBOR MASTER 18-10008       18   8  1   78  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 ZANDER 14-4759               13   6  1   78  ZOMBIE SQUAD (1616)        TOBIR
-SHELLBACK 33-7769            16   6      77  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
-KEIRA 30-5002                21  11  2   76  WRATHMEN (727)             IAYE
 FIDDLESTICKS 84-27559        18  16      76  ANCIENT CURSES (1617)      BLACKSTONE
 CERES 99-3866                 8  11  4   76  DODEKATHEON (1590)         SOUTH RIDGE
 STICKY FINGERS 42-4523       22   5  1   75  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 GIRL SCOUT COOKIE 61-3633    16   9  1   74  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 URA GONER 8-5214             14   3      74  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 NAKED LUNCH 78-2917          25  22      69  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARCHERS OF LOAF 43-4837      20   4      69  UNC COLLEGE RADIO (1614)   VEASTIAN
 THE DARK FROG 35-4347        19   8  2   69  BATTLE FROGS (1597)        MURSKA
-THE JANITOR 45-2545          17  13  2   66  AVID FANS (569)            STORMCROWE
-FREE BIRD 84-29006           16  12  1   66  CLASSIC ROCK (1596)        BLACKSTONE
 FURIOUS FROGPALER 35-4309    16  12      63  BATTLE FROGS (1597)        MURSKA
 INNARD SKINARD 98-3573       11   9  4   62  T-3 (1591)                 SYVYN'S HILL
 NERO 29-5707                 33  40  1   60  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 HAMILCAR 21-7575             17  14  2   60  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
 MONTY BURNS 82-55805         20  32      59  NUCLEAR WASTES (1588)      DWES EG
-A TALENT SCOUT 45-3950       16  10  1   59  AVID FANS (569)            STORMCROWE
 GRAVITRON 19-5369            15   3  1   58  THE MOTHERSHIP CC (1611)   ZUWAYZA
-KEISHA 11-7584               18  10      56  WRATHMEN DM 20 (1536)      ARUAK CITY
 BOA 1-8830                   18  15      56  SERPENTS' HOLD (1618)      MORDANT
 CAT N TONIC 81-1870          17  17  2   54  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
 BRITISH SEA POWER 32-5370    16  10      50  COLLEGE RADIO (1603)       ARVAT
 HOFFA 18-8478                29 128  1   49  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 TICKLE ME TIGER 11-7391      21  15  2   46  FURRY FURY (1598)          ARUAK CITY
 SHIV 26-5006                 15  12  1   43  SERPENTS HOLD (1608)       CALEAM
 HOFFA 18-9369                33  99      34  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 FROG FRACTURE 98-3813        13   8  3   29  MURDEROUS FROGS 3 (1589)   SYVYN'S HILL
 VULCAN 99-3864                8  11  4   26  DODEKATHEON (1590)         SOUTH RIDGE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
THE DARK FROG 35-4347     19   8  2 BATTLE FROGS 1597      HULL SCRUBBER 33-7823     627

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

     In the interests of getting this newsletter out today, we are foregoing your
     regularly scheduled spy report.

This personal contains no information.  You need not read it.  It exists only to
convince hal that the critical parts of the newsletter are present and ready to
print.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RUPTURE devastated DAGAN in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
ROTTING ROLAND demolished RABID TOAD in a popular 1 minute one-sided melee.
GOPHER BAROQUE unbelievably bested RED ALERT in a crowd pleasing 5 minute gory brawl.
SLAP YOURSELF SILLY was overpowered by ARTHUR DENT in a 2 minute mismatched match.
VIPER slimly won victory over KUNG PAO KOLACTAN in a 2 minute fight.
VIPER was bested by MANNY LEHMAN in a 2 minute match.
ASSUR devastated HARE BINGER in a action packed 2 minute one-sided competition.
WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? vanquished YELLOWBEARD in a popular 2 minute gruesome uneven duel.
FISHWIFE won victory over TOXIC SLUDGE in a 2 minute fight.
BURIED TREASURE overpowered NASTY NES in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
XAVIER overpowered WELL DON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
LI KUI handily defeated BRITISH SEA POWER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
THRESHPACK demolished NAKED LUNCH in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
CERES handily defeated CAT N TONIC in a action packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.
VULCAN was overpowered by BOA in a 2 minute uneven struggle.
FROG FRACTURE was handily defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
INNARD SKINARD outwaited HOFFA in a tiring 16 minute brawl.
FIDDLESTICKS beat FURIOUS FROGPALER in a exciting 1 minute match.
MONTY BURNS was overpowered by STICKY FINGERS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIE viciously subdued GRAVITRON in a 5 minute competition.
ARCHERS OF LOAF defeated HAMILCAR in a exciting 1 minute duel.
URCHIN beat URA GONER in a action packed 1 minute fray.
THE DARK FROG was easily killed by HULL SCRUBBER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
NERO narrowly defeated SHIV in a action packed 3 minute brutal fight.
HARBOR MASTER overpowered TICKLE ME TIGER in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
HOFFA was savagely defeated by ZANDER in a exciting 8 minute gruesome melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                      22         STRIKING ATTACK   43 -  19 -  0      69  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   33 -  17 -  2      66  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    33 -  28 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         BASHING ATTACK    16 -  16 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  20 -  0      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         AIMED BLOW        79 -  92 -  1      46  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  18 -  0      44  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      18 -  25 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  15 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         TOTAL PARRY        8 -  24 -  0      25  |

Turn 627 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW        11 - 11                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  RUPTURE 99-3463            27  17  4  252 BLOOD GANG (1532)
AIMED BLOW       ROTTING ROLAND 32-5437     36  20  0  207 THE WALKING DEAD (1538)
TOTAL PARRY      GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359      79  68  0  190 CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)
BASHING ATTACK   ASSUR 18-7821              56 112  2  190 ARROGANCE (755)
LUNGING ATTACK   DAGAN 21-7201              35  29  0  183 BLOOD AND SAND (1545)
SLASHING ATTACK  RED ALERT 50-139           42  38  1  169 PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)
PARRY-STRIKE     RABID TOAD 98-2767         19  25  4  169 BLOOD FROGS 2 (1510)
WALL OF STEEL    HARE BINGER 81-1790        27  19  2  148 FURRY FURY (1593)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    SLAP YOURSELF SIL 21-4697  47  46  0  136 SORE LOSERS (1580)
PARRY-LUNGE      THRESHPACK 50-138          34  45  0  101 PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)

The overall popularity leader is ASSUR 18-7821.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ZANDER 14-4759.  The ten other most popular fighters were RED ALERT 50-139, GIRL 
SCOUT COOKIE 61-3633, GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359, ASSUR 18-7821, WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 
38-4563, GRAVITRON 19-5369, SHIV 26-5006, VIPER 3-7087, FISHWIFE 33-7822, and XAVIER 
75-2071.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 18-9369.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were INNARD SKINARD 98-3573, THE DARK FROG 35-4347, MONTY BURNS 82--9731, 
FROG FRACTURE 98-3813, NAKED LUNCH 78-2917, BRITISH SEA POWER 32-5370, TICKLE ME 
TIGER 11-7391, URA GONER 8-5214, HAMILCAR 21-7575, and STICKY FINGERS 42-4523.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  0 0  CALEAM(26)           0  1 0  FRATSFA(52)          1  0 0  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  LAPUR(29)            1  0 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             1  0 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         0  1 0  
ARKERS(8)            0  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   3  0 1  JADE MOUNTAIN(75)    1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  1 0  MURSKA(35)           0  2 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       0  1 0  
DULLENS(13)          0  1 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      0  2 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  0 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  
WILLAF(16)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           2  0 0  BLACKSTONE(84)       1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          2  3 0  VEASTIAN(43)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  2 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          0  1 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        1  2 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      2  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  3 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BOA 1-8830                  18  15  0   56  SERPENTS' HOLD (1618)      MORDANT
 GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359       79  68  0  190  CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)    NIANIA
 VIPER 3-7087                41  41  0  167  SERPENTS' HOLD (1604)      OSKSI
 URA GONER 8-5214            14   3  0   74  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 ARTHUR DENT 11-7305         29  29  0  158  THE HITCHHIKERS (1564)     ARUAK CITY
 TOXIC SLUDGE 13-5511        23  22  2   96  MMM BEER! (1606)           DULLENS
 ZANDER 14-4759              13   6  1   78  ZOMBIE SQUAD (1616)        TOBIR
 WELL DON 16-6079            22   3  0   92  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1601)   WILLAF
 ASSUR 18-7821               56 112  2  190  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 GRAVITRON 19-5369           15   3  1   58  THE MOTHERSHIP CC (1611)   ZUWAYZA
 DAGAN 21-7201               35  29  0  183  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
 SHIV 26-5006                15  12  1   43  SERPENTS HOLD (1608)       CALEAM
 NERO 29-5707                33  40  1   60  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 ROTTING ROLAND 32-5437      36  20  0  207  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
 BURIED TREASURE 33-7722     24   9  0  158  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 THE DARK FROG 35-4347       19   8  2   69  BATTLE FROGS (1597)        MURSKA
 VIPER 36-7544               32  16  0  134  SERPENTS HOLD (1609)       JHANS
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563   35  29  0  162  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 URCHIN 42-4522              15   1  0   87  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI
 ARCHERS OF LOAF 43-4837     20   4  0   69  UNC COLLEGE RADIO (1614)   VEASTIAN
 RED ALERT 50-139            42  38  1  169  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074        32  35  1  154  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS
 LI KUI 52-851               28  27  1   95  WAH CHING (1565)           FRATSFA
 GIRL SCOUT COOKIE 61-3633   16   9  1   74  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 KUNG PAO KOLACTAN 63-2882   29  17  2  143  SHEWISH BUFFET (1568)      AMEN-TEI
 XAVIER 75-2071              24   9  2  132  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
 NAKED LUNCH 78-2917         25  22  0   69  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN
 HARE BINGER 81-1790         27  19  2  148  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
 MONTY BURNS 82--9731        20  32  0   59  NUCLEAR WASTES (1588)      DWES EG
 FIDDLESTICKS 84-27559       18  16  0   76  ANCIENT CURSES (1617)      BLACKSTONE
 RABID TOAD 98-2767          19  25  4  169  BLOOD FROGS 2 (1510)       SYVYN'S HILL
 RUPTURE 99-3463             27  17  4  252  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE