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Date   : 07/16/2014    Duedate: 07/29/2014

HOME GUARD ARENA

DM 101    TURN 641

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 DRAGON LORDS 10/555   26   16   0 61.9   12 RED FURY 9/786       175  172   0 50.4
    EXCELLENT TUNES 53/1658                     RUNEBLADES 75/1585
    STINKY OCCUPATIONS 96/1666               13 FURRY FURY 81/1593    91  105   1 46.4
  2 WHO DA MAN? 12/1672   30   20   1 60.0      BATTLE FROGS 35/1597
  3 SEA DOGS 9/1468      933  637   8 59.4   14 TREKKERS 29/1534     175  205   4 46.1
    SEA DOGS 18/426                             BLOOD AND SAND 21/1545
    SEA DOGS 21/1446                            MONSTER MANUAL 81/1582
    SEA DOGS 33/1501                            THE HITCHHIKERS 11/1564
    SEA DOGS 35/1502                            THE WALKING DEAD 32/1538
    DUNGEON CELL 42/1470                     15 QUEEN 9/1629         151  187   0 44.7
    SHEWISH BUFFET 61/1562                      TRIBE 24/1648
    SHEWISH BUFFET 63/1568                      RUN DMC 1/1626
    SHEWISH BUFFET 78/1537                      EPIC RAP 43/1656
    SHEWISH PICNIC 97/1667                      PEARL JAM 4/1638
    SHEWISH BANQUET 98/1515                     ARE YOU ? 22/1647
  4-OMNITRIX 30/1677      10    7   0 58.8      BLUE NOTE 12/1642
  5 GARBAGE PAI 16/1601  136   98   2 58.1      CRITICALS 75/1635
    GARBAGE PAIL KIDS 62/1633                   AL BUMS II 84/1636
  6 SORE LOSERS 21/1580  113   82   0 57.9      AL BUMS VI 84/1665
    CREAM OF THE SLOP 2/589                     BLOOD GANG 99/1532
  7 TEAM FLOYD 38/690    420  313   2 57.3      STILLMATIC 36/1652
    DODEKATHEON 99/1590                         SAY MY NAME 25/1649
    COLLEGE RADIO 32/1603                       SUMMERTEETH 33/1651
    COLLEGE RADIO 51/1541                       THE 27 CLUB 46/1634
    HAPPY FUN TIME 35/1613                      UNNAMEABLES 60/1661
    THE MOTHERSHIP CC 19/1611                   WEBL GREATS 84/1675
    UNC COLLEGE RADIO 43/1614                   ENTER THE WU 84/1676
    VCU COLLEGE RADIO 26/1620                   MEN OF STEEL 56/1659
  8 MACHINES OF  6/1631   54   44   2 55.1      THE RUNAROUND 2/1628
    VOW TO DESTROY 36/1403                      FOOT OF PRIDE 35/1630
  9 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146  1284 1063  18 54.7      BLACK AND BLUES 6/1632
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/892                         HIP HOP HEROES 18/1646
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         WU-TANG FOREVER 14/1643
    USELESS TOOLS 54/735                        GREAT LAKES WEBL 84/1678
    DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221                     BLOOD ON THE TRACKS 16/1668
 10-THE GUILD 29/432     349  297   5 54.0      INTELLECTS OF HIPHOP 42/1655
    THE NIGHT'S WATCH 9/787                  16 PUBLIC ENEM 50/1530   94  126   1 42.7
 11 T-3 98/1591          182  177   1 50.7   17 ARROGANCE 18/755     553  877  11 38.7
    SERPENTS HOLD 26/1608                    18 ENIGMA 1 82/1664      26   42   0 38.2
    SERPENTS HOLD 36/1609                       SCRABBLE 65/1662
    SERPENTS' HOLD 1/1618                       TREXTRAS 56/1660
    YOU PAY I SLAY 8/1500                       TECHNOLOGY 5/1639
    SERPENTS' HOLD 10/1623                      OTTO'S DINER 81/1663
    DRAGONS GUARD II 52/1619                 19-SHADOWMIST 29/1674     0    2   0  0.0
    SERPENTS HOLD 929 13/1621

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Bah.  The Unknown Spymaster took some notes, but they aren't much use.  He had a
bag over his head the whole time.
     Significant point movements, according to some lowly clerk in the office here--
you don't think Unknown did his own math, do you?:  Stormcrowe Pe up 36, Shiv, down
31.  Different fights.
     Useless Tools avoided Dragon Lords.  Sounds like a plan.  Run's House appears to
have gotten the most challenges, which might only mean two.
     Sixty-six fights, five challenges, ten standbys.  I'm tempted to just hold this
to the challenge matches, but I guess I can spread it a little farther:  I'll include
the action-packed and exciting fights, as well.

     BLIND BLAKE (6-6814) (18-13-2,41) of BLACK AND BLUES fought DROXINE (56-4298)
(17-23-0,42) of TREXTRAS.  BLIND BLAKE viciously subdued DROXINE in an exciting 2
minute bloody struggle.  That's how it is with exciting fights, they're usually
closely matched.  Make's more exciting to watch, and a lot more exciting to fight.
     BRAINS MCGEE (32-5441) (25-27-2,88) of THE WALKING DEAD fought EDDIE VEDDER (4-
6710) (24-28-1,62) of PEARL JAM.  BRAINS MCGEE viciously subdued EDDIE VEDDER in an
exciting 8 minute brutal duel.  It isn't a usual thing to see a long (fairly long?)
fight as also an exciting one.  Both these guys probably have a Master in Stamina.
     GAG HALFRUNT (11-7416) (27-26-0,61) of THE HITCHHIKERS fought MAUL ON WHEELS (2-
2938) (17-10-2,64) of THE RUNAROUND.  GAG HALFRUNT subdued MAUL ON WHEELS in an
action packed 4 minute duel.  Maul broke an axel, or maybe it was a spoke, in the
first minute, and the rest was just working it down.  Or something.  I was only half
awake for that one, and I could've made a mistake.
     FRANKIE (13-5579) (20-25-0,32) of SERPENTS HOLD 929 fought ELMORE JAMES (6-6782)
(22-18-0,53) of BLACK AND BLUES.  FRANKIE was devastated by ELMORE JAMES in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.  Frankie, an ambitious snake, seemed to be
fighting out of his class.  That sort of thing happens.
     THE SQUARE (14-4892) (21-14-1,41) of WU-TANG FOREVER fought VULCAN (99-3864)
(12-20-4,76) of DODEKATHEON.  THE SQUARE slimly lost to VULCAN in an exciting 3
minute battle.  An example of an exciting match that was NOT (technically) even.
What made it exciting for us all (besides the bets) was that The Square was tougher
than he looked.

     DEADLY FORCE (75-3513) (20-18-0,55) of CRITICALS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-
0-0,70) of the Louts Local 101.  DEADLY FORCE was demolished by MEAN SPIRIT in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched match.  Bah.  This was only exciting because Mean Spirit
was grandstanding.  Wait till the Arenmaster gets his hands and steel on that Lout!
     IRON HANDED (75-3508) (24-18-1,81) of CRITICALS fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-0,50)
of the Louts Local 101.  IRON HANDED was defeated by HERMY in an action packed 3
minute competition.  What happened in the arena was NOTHING to what Iron Handed's
manager did to him for this loss!
     ANGEL (75-2193) (15-20-0,50) of RUNEBLADES fought DMX (25-5675) (22-18-2,66) of
SAY MY NAME.  ANGEL beat DMX in an action packed 1 minute bout.  The secret here:
Angel didn't even TRY to say Dmx's name.  You can't, you know.  It's one of those
"unpronounceable" deals.
     MC SHAN (18-10307) (18-16-0,39) of HIP HOP HEROES fought GARLIC ARAOI (97-4776)
(8-14-4,68) of SHEWISH PICNIC.  MC SHAN subdued GARLIC ARAOI in an action packed 1
minute fight.  You have not SEEN action like this until you've seen an hysterical
garlic-hater dealing with a bowl of Garlic Araoi at a picnic.  Garlic, onions,
potatoes, pickles--they fly everywhere.  I mean, you can often see a chunk of potato
fly twenty-five feet, and they aren't aerodynamic.
     HAMILCAR (21-7575) (23-21-2,87) of BLOOD AND SAND fought ODB (14-4891) (15-8-
2,42) of WU-TANG FOREVER.  HAMILCAR devastated ODB in an action packed 1 minute
mismatched match.  It was probably the innovative use of elephants that settled this
one.

     TICK ... TOCK (60-511) (38-37-0,127) of UNNAMEABLES fought FAST-FINGERS FRED
(101-7) (0-0-0,110) of the Louts Local 101.  TICK ... TOCK demolished FAST-FINGERS
FRED in an exciting 2 minute mismatched match.  Ha!  I KNEW Fred wasn't as fast as he
claimed, and now he's been TIMED.
     ELEVENTH (12-6963) (32-26-0,137) of BLUE NOTE fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-10)
(0-0-0,150) of the Louts Local 101.  ELEVENTH was bested by IRON-PLATED IRV in an
action packed 3 minute gory bout.  I'm afraid most of the action here was Iron-Plated
Irv doing the old slice-and-dice.  Thanks for giving him the chance, Eleventh, he was
getting catastrophically restless on the bench.
     KURT COBAIN (46-4253) (31-28-0,143) of THE 27 CLUB fought OBSIDIAN (36-7135)
(21-12-2,97) of VOW TO DESTROY.  KURT COBAIN handily defeated OBSIDIAN in an action
packed 1 minute mismatched match.  Tough luck on Obsidian, who WAS mis-matched.  This
is probably those "dues" you're supposed to pay.
     TRUGOY THE DOVE (42-4614) (35-44-1,149) of INTELLECTS OF HIPHOP fought IRON-
PLATED IRV (101-10) (0-0-0,150) of the Louts Local 101.  TRUGOY THE DOVE overpowered
IRON-PLATED IRV in an exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.  Revenge for Eleventh?
     STICKY FINGERS (42-4523) (31-7-1,144) of DUNGEON CELL fought NEVERMIND (84-
23395) (28-36-3,144) of AL BUMS VI.  STICKY FINGERS defeated NEVERMIND in an exciting
3 minute match.  Good fight, but I think we'll need solvent to separate these guys.
Sticky Fingers really IS.

     FURIOUS FROGPALER (35-4309) (26-15-0,165) of BATTLE FROGS fought JOE WILLIAMS
(6-6583) (43-31-0,117) of BLACK AND BLUES.  FURIOUS FROGPALER demolished JOE WILLIAMS
in an action packed 2 minute one-sided melee.  I wouldn't have said Joe was a frog,
but he's been frogpaled.
     SHE'S A JAR (33-7804) (29-25-0,165) of SUMMERTEETH fought THE MAILMAN (96-616)
(22-27-6,115) of STINKY OCCUPATIONS.  SHE'S A JAR vanquished THE MAILMAN in an action
packed 1 minute one-sided match.  Mailmen stink?  That's news to me.  And you see
where these later fights are trending, don't you?  The steward who choses the
descriptive phrase is trying to make me look silly for daring to say that more
exciting and action-packed fights are even than otherwise.  I didn't say it was a
natural law, just a general rule, observation, or guideline.  And "evenly matched" is
about more than the numbers that show.
     GRAVITRON (19-5369) (24-7-1,159) of THE MOTHERSHIP CC fought SWEET CHILD (53-
6040) (24-8-0,101) of EXCELLENT TUNES.  GRAVITRON devastated SWEET CHILD in an
exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.  Sweet Child is now a flat-and-sticky spot.
     VIPER (36-7544) (38-23-0,195) of SERPENTS HOLD fought LEAPS INTO THE AIR (75-85)
(43-36-1,173) of CRITICALS.  VIPER devastated LEAPS INTO THE AIR in an action packed
1 minute one-sided competition.  When you go leaping into the air, try not to land on
a snake ready to strike, eh?

Ah, the challenges!
     LEGIONNAIRE (6-6296) (19-4-1,57) of MACHINES OF WAR challenged COLOSSEUM HALLS
(1-8871) (27-27-0,79) of RUN DMC.  Up 22.  LEGIONNAIRE was narrowly defeated by
COLOSSEUM HALLS in a 2 minute competition.  Only narrowly, mind you!  Watch out for
this dude.
     CHICKEN A LA KING (47-7583) (16-8-2,102) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged RUN'S HOUSE
(1-8735) (19-6-2,105) of RUN DMC.  Up 3.  CHICKEN A LA KING devastated RUN'S HOUSE in
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  This is most-challenged Run's House.  And that
Chicken would have devastated anybody other than Iron-Stomached Orv.
     HOCKEY DUCK (39-937) (46-46-1,176) of DUCKS UNLIMITED challenged WELL DON (16-
6079) (29-9-0,178) of GARBAGE PAIL KIDS.  Up 2.  HOCKEY DUCK was overpowered by WELL
DON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  Hmm, I had a clue when Don came out
with a hockey stick.
     DON KING (47-5374) (49-44-3,205) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SPARE ANCHOR (18-
9610) (67-33-1,237) of SEA DOGS.  Up 32.  DON KING subdued SPARE ANCHOR in an
exciting 1 minute Challenge melee.  Cut the chain.  That'll do it every time.

For the title:
     RUBBER BULLET (54-2503) (44-24-1,229) of USELESS TOOLS challenged BAKED
CONVINCIA (98-2341) (46-23-4,281) of SHEWISH BANQUET.  Up 52.  RUBBER BULLET was
viciously subdued by BAKED CONVINCIA in a 1 minute Challenge fight.  A bold try,
Bullet, but some things, even on the banquet table, are just meant to be looked at.
Do not try to eat them.  And congratulations to Baked Convincia once again.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341      47  23  4  297  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SURLY DECKHAND 21-6568       73  73  1  305  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 BURIED TREASURE 33-7722      34  13     264  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 DON KING 47-5374             50  44  3  228  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 EBONY 10-3116                34  15     219  DRAGON LORDS (555)         KOLACT
 RUPTURE 99-3463              32  20  4  217  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE
 XAVIER 75-2071               35  12  2  215  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
 SLAP YOURSELF SILLY 21-4697  57  50     211  SORE LOSERS (1580)         SUNSET

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VIPER 36-7544                39  23     204  SERPENTS HOLD (1609)       JHANS
 NAKED LUNCH 78-2917          34  27     203  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN
-KEEL HAULER 9-5389           32   7     203  SEA DOGS (1468)            ZUKAL
 THE WAD O' GAS 82-13378      46  28     201  ENIGMA 1 (1664)            DWES EG
 RUBBER BULLET 54-2503        44  25  1  201  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 KULGAN 56-4268               32  43  3  200  MEN OF STEEL (1659)        ROCANIS
 KUNG PAO KOLACTAN 63-2882    38  22  2  199  SHEWISH BUFFET (1568)      AMEN-TEI
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610         67  34  1  197  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 NASTY NES 50-142             48  53  1  197  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 Q MARK 60-8880               36  32     195  UNNAMEABLES (1661)         ARADI
 ERIK 56-3399                 40  67     193  MEN OF STEEL (1659)        ROCANIS
 ASSUR 18-7821                63 119  2  190  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 WELL DON 16-6079             30   9     188  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1601)   WILLAF
 HARBOR MASTER 18-10008       28  12  1  187  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 DISSIDENT 4-6672             30  27  2  183  PEARL JAM (1638)           JHELUM
 RED ALERT 50-139             49  45  1  182  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 DAGAN 21-7201                43  35     182  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET
 REUNITED 14-4771             37  37  1  182  WU-TANG FOREVER (1643)     TOBIR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TOMAS 56-749                 46  83  6  175  MEN OF STEEL (1659)        ROCANIS
 LEAPS INTO THE AIR 75-85     43  37  1  173  CRITICALS (1635)           JADE MOUNTAIN
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937           46  47  1  172  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 FURIOUS FROGPALER 35-4309    27  15     172  BATTLE FROGS (1597)        MURSKA
 BIG BILL BROONZY 6-6640      31  21     171  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074         39  42  1  169  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS
 SHE'S A JAR 33-7804          30  25     167  SUMMERTEETH (1651)         NIATOLI ISLAND
-ELLORIEN 9-4150              25  15     167  THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787)    ZUKAL
 CAT N TONIC 81-1870          26  22  3  166  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
 CERES 99-3866                17  16  4  166  DODEKATHEON (1590)         SOUTH RIDGE
 TRUGOY THE DOVE 42-4614      36  44  1  163  INTELLECTS OF HIPHOP (1655)RODEKI
 GRAVITRON 19-5369            25   7  1  163  THE MOTHERSHIP CC (1611)   ZUWAYZA
 GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359        87  74     160  CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)    NIANIA
-SAMWELL 9-4079               31  11  1  160  THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787)    ZUKAL
 CHOPPED RABBIT 60-1362       31  16     160  UNNAMEABLES (1661)         ARADI
 SUBPRIME RIB 81-1567         37  36  1  156  OTTO'S DINER (1663)        SHADOWSPIRE
 SKIP JAMES 6-6579            30  34     156  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 ARTHUR DENT 11-7305          34  38     154  THE HITCHHIKERS (1564)     ARUAK CITY
 STICKY FINGERS 42-4523       32   7  1  152  DUNGEON CELL (1470)        RODEKI

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 URA GONER 8-5214             25   6  1  149  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 KURT COBAIN 46-4253          32  28     147  THE 27 CLUB (1634)         ARDIVENT
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563    39  39     146  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 HARE BINGER 81-1790          32  27  2  146  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
 NEVERMIND 84-23395           28  37  3  145  AL BUMS VI (1665)          BLACKSTONE
 DIZZY GILLESPIE 12-5792      33  42     142  BLUE NOTE (1642)           RIZTAB
 ELEVENTH 12-6963             32  27     138  BLUE NOTE (1642)           RIZTAB
 ARDSHEAL 9-4183              28  19     136  RED FURY (786)             ZUKAL
 TICK ... TOCK 60-511         39  37     134  UNNAMEABLES (1661)         ARADI

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MORELLA 29-3830              22  15     133  THE GUILD (432)            LAPUR
 FISHWIFE 33-7822             26  30  4  131  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 THRESHPACK 50-138            40  53     127  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 HAMMERHEAD 35-4129           51  55  2  123  SEA DOGS (1502)            MURSKA
 JOE WILLIAMS 6-6583          43  32     122  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 CHICKEN A LA KING 47-7583    17   8  2  121  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 THE MAILMAN 96-616           22  28  6  119  STINKY OCCUPATIONS (1666)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 DOWNWITHTHEKING 1-8736       31  23  1  118  RUN DMC (1626)             MORDANT
 THE FLYEST 36-7549           25  13  1  117  STILLMATIC (1652)          JHANS
 SHIV 26-5006                 24  17  1  117  SERPENTS HOLD (1608)       CALEAM
 ONE MIC 36-7580              30   7  1  115  STILLMATIC (1652)          JHANS
 SWEET CHILD 53-6040          24   9     111  EXCELLENT TUNES (1658)     KHALHUMS
-BAD BORSCHT 81-1894          25  22  2  109  OTTO'S DINER (1663)        SHADOWSPIRE
 NERO 29-5707                 40  47  1  108  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 SAURON 25-5581               26   9  2  104  SAY MY NAME (1649)         LYRATILAN
 LORD'S PRAYER 35-4456        20   9  1  103  FOOT OF PRIDE (1630)       MURSKA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OBSIDIAN 36-7135             21  13  2  100  VOW TO DESTROY (1403)      JHANS
 SAVAGE BEATING 35-4339       24  26      97  HAPPY FUN TIME (1613)      MURSKA
-EYE OF THE DEEP 81-1923      24  23  2   96  MONSTER MANUAL (1582)      SHADOWSPIRE
 STORMCROWE PIE 61-3734       20  34  4   96  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 MARY MARY 1-8872             23  31  1   95  RUN DMC (1626)             MORDANT
 RUN'S HOUSE 1-8735           19   7  2   95  RUN DMC (1626)             MORDANT
 JOY OF LOSING 12-6600        20  14  1   92  WHO DA MAN? (1672)         RIZTAB
 HAMILCAR 21-7575             24  21  2   91  BLOOD AND SAND (1545)      SUNSET

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HOFFA 18-8478                34 137  1   90  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 DARGON 52-4264               28  14      90  DRAGONS GUARD II (1619)    FRATSFA
 TALIB KWELI 42-4631          27  49      90  INTELLECTS OF HIPHOP (1655)RODEKI
 BRAINS MCGEE 32-5441         26  27  2   90  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
 COLOSSEUM HALLS 1-8871       28  27      89  RUN DMC (1626)             MORDANT
 BOOZEFIGHTERS 84-26823       20  10  2   89  GREAT LAKES WEBL (1678)    BLACKSTONE
 IMAGINATION 26-4975          18   4      88  VCU COLLEGE RADIO (1620)   CALEAM
 BRITISH SEA POWER 32-5370    25  15      87  COLLEGE RADIO (1603)       ARVAT
 ETHER 36-7552                28  24      85  STILLMATIC (1652)          JHANS
 VULCAN 99-3864               13  20  4   79  DODEKATHEON (1590)         SOUTH RIDGE
 BOA 1-8830                   23  24      78  SERPENTS' HOLD (1618)      MORDANT
 HOFFA 18-9369                35 111      77  ARROGANCE (755)            TALCAMA
 WHAT? 24-4991                24  16  2   77  TRIBE (1648)               ZORPUNT
-FOUR ARMS 30-5041            23   8      77  OMNITRIX (1677)            IAYE
 GALILEO 9-5706               24  12  2   74  QUEEN (1629)               ZUKAL
-RAGE 75-2204                 20  13  1   74  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
 GAG HALFRUNT 11-7416         28  26      73  THE HITCHHIKERS (1564)     ARUAK CITY
 HALFTIME 43-4816             21  15  1   73  EPIC RAP (1656)            VEASTIAN
 ARCHERS OF LOAF 43-4837      26  12      72  UNC COLLEGE RADIO (1614)   VEASTIAN
 ZENSU LASAGNA 61-3728        23  35  1   72  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 BICYCLE RACE 9-5609          17  12  2   70  QUEEN (1629)               ZUKAL
-DEEP BLUE 5-3822             23  21  2   69  TECHNOLOGY (1639)          KALTOS
 SLITHERING IDIOT 10-6105     28  12      67  SERPENTS' HOLD (1623)      KOLACT
 EDDIE VEDDER 4-6710          24  29  1   67  PEARL JAM (1638)           JHELUM
 FAT LIP 52-3791              20  20  1   67  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 ANGEL 75-2193                16  20      66  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
 ALBERT KING 6-6821           19  12      64  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 INNARD SKINARD 98-3573       18  16  4   62  T-3 (1591)                 SYVYN'S HILL
 IRON HANDED 75-3508          24  19  1   61  CRITICALS (1635)           JADE MOUNTAIN
 56TH AND WABASHA 16-6042     17   7  3   61  BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (1668) WILLAF
 MAUL ON WHEELS 2-2938        17  11  2   61  THE RUNAROUND (1628)       NIANIA
 WOLFMAN JACK 5-4594          14   1  2   61  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC 22-7035    19  20      60  ARE YOU ? (1647)           SOLVEN
 ELMORE JAMES 6-6782          23  18      59  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 PAID IN FULL 84-23375        22  14  1   59  AL BUMS II (1636)          BLACKSTONE

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LEGIONNAIRE 6-6296           19   5  1   59  MACHINES OF WAR (1631)     TRANSEL
 MC SHAN 18-10307             19  16      59  HIP HOP HEROES (1646)      TALCAMA
 GZA 84-27225                 19   9      58  ENTER THE WU (1676)        BLACKSTONE
-HUMUNGOUSAUR 30-5043         17   3      54  OMNITRIX (1677)            IAYE
 DMX 25-5675                  22  19  2   53  SAY MY NAME (1649)         LYRATILAN
 DANG LEN 62-4694             24  15      51  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1633)   VALAMANTIS
 BLIND BLAKE 6-6814           19  13  2   50  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 GARLIC ARAOI 97-4776          8  15  4   50  SHEWISH PICNIC (1667)      SHADOW GROVE
 DEADLY FORCE 75-3513         20  19      49  CRITICALS (1635)           JADE MOUNTAIN
 JUGGERNAUT 6-6252            17   5      49  MACHINES OF WAR (1631)     TRANSEL
 THE SQUARE 14-4892           21  15  1   48  WU-TANG FOREVER (1643)     TOBIR
 PIEHOLDEN SWEET 33-7856      24  27      46  SUMMERTEETH (1651)         NIATOLI ISLAND
 PRODIGAL 84-26816            20  14      45  WEBL GREATS (1675)         BLACKSTONE
 ODB 14-4891                  15   9  2   44  WU-TANG FOREVER (1643)     TOBIR
 ROBERT JOHNSON 46-4346       19   8      40  THE 27 CLUB (1634)         ARDIVENT
 KING RAT 9-5715              22  11  1   38  QUEEN (1629)               ZUKAL
 DROXINE 56-4298              17  24      38  TREXTRAS (1660)            ROCANIS
 BLOOD THIRSTER 36-7199       16   6  3   37  VOW TO DESTROY (1403)      JHANS
 XYLOID 65-7141               20  24  1   35  SCRABBLE (1662)            DAL SHANG
 FRANKIE 13-5579              20  26      28  SERPENTS HOLD 929 (1621)   DULLENS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

This personal contains no information.  You need not read it.  It exists only to
convince hal that the critical parts of the newsletter are present and ready to
print.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RUBBER BULLET was viciously subdued by BAKED CONVINCIA in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
DON KING subdued SPARE ANCHOR in a exciting 1 minute Challenge melee.
HOCKEY DUCK was overpowered by WELL DON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
CHICKEN A LA KING devastated RUN'S HOUSE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
LEGIONNAIRE was narrowly defeated by COLOSSEUM HALLS in a 2 minute competition.
BURIED TREASURE won victory over THE WAD O' GAS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
VIPER devastated LEAPS INTO THE AIR in a action packed 1 minute one-sided competition.
DISSIDENT lost to NASTY NES in a 2 minute duel.
EBONY vanquished Q MARK in a 2 minute uneven fight.
RUPTURE vanquished ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
REUNITED was overpowered by NAKED LUNCH in a popular 1 minute one-sided melee.
ERIK was demolished by XAVIER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
KULGAN savagely defeated DAGAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory match.
ASSUR overcame SKIP JAMES in a popular 1 minute conflict.
HARBOR MASTER lost to SLAP YOURSELF SILLY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
KUNG PAO KOLACTAN vanquished TOMAS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided fray.
GRAVITRON devastated SWEET CHILD in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.
CHOPPED RABBIT narrowly defeated FISHWIFE in a popular 6 minute match.
SUBPRIME RIB was viciously subdued by GOPHER BAROQUE in a 17 minute competition.
HARE BINGER was overpowered by BIG BILL BROONZY in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
CAT N TONIC handily defeated DOWNWITHTHEKING in a 1 minute uneven duel.
RED ALERT bested WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? in a 1 minute bout.
CERES demolished THE FLYEST in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SHE'S A JAR vanquished THE MAILMAN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
URA GONER was narrowly defeated by MANNY LEHMAN in a 2 minute bout.
FURIOUS FROGPALER demolished JOE WILLIAMS in a action packed 2 minute one-sided melee.
HAMMERHEAD was overpowered by ARTHUR DENT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
ONE MIC viciously subdued SAVAGE BEATING in a popular 1 minute gory bout.
ARDSHEAL won victory over THRESHPACK in a 2 minute fray.
STICKY FINGERS defeated NEVERMIND in a exciting 3 minute match.
TRUGOY THE DOVE overpowered IRON-PLATED IRV in a exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.
KURT COBAIN handily defeated OBSIDIAN in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
DIZZY GILLESPIE devastated SHIV in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
ELEVENTH was bested by IRON-PLATED IRV in a action packed 3 minute gory bout.
TICK ... TOCK demolished FAST-FINGERS FRED in a exciting 2 minute mismatched match.
SAURON overpowered BOA in a 1 minute uneven bout.
LORD'S PRAYER overpowered INNARD SKINARD in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC was overpowered by HOFFA in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
MARY MARY was bested by NERO in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
SLITHERING IDIOT was vanquished by STORMCROWE PIE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
HAMILCAR devastated ODB in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
XYLOID was handily defeated by PAID IN FULL in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
MC SHAN subdued GARLIC ARAOI in a action packed 1 minute fight.
ANGEL beat DMX in a action packed 1 minute bout.
IRON HANDED was defeated by HERMY in a action packed 3 minute competition.
DEADLY FORCE was demolished by MEAN SPIRIT in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
HOFFA luckily beat WHAT? in a popular 5 minute gory battle.
56TH AND WABASHA handily defeated BLOOD THIRSTER in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
THE SQUARE slimly lost to VULCAN in a exciting 3 minute battle.
FRANKIE was devastated by ELMORE JAMES in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
IMAGINATION demolished PIEHOLDEN SWEET in a popular 1 minute mismatched contest.
PRODIGAL savagely defeated B&G BOUNCER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory duel.
BOOZEFIGHTERS overpowered FAT LIP in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
GZA was luckily beaten by HERMY in a popular 6 minute gruesome match.
DARGON demolished BICYCLE RACE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
JOY OF LOSING handily defeated ZENSU LASAGNA in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DANG LEN was overpowered by GALILEO in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
GAG HALFRUNT subdued MAUL ON WHEELS in a action packed 4 minute duel.
BRITISH SEA POWER overpowered ALBERT KING in a popular 1 minute one-sided fight.
BRAINS MCGEE viciously subdued EDDIE VEDDER in a exciting 8 minute brutal duel.
ROBERT JOHNSON was demolished by HERMY in a popular 3 minute bloody one-sided duel.
ARCHERS OF LOAF was narrowly defeated by TALIB KWELI in a 2 minute duel.
HALFTIME overpowered MEAN SPIRIT in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided match.
KING RAT was overpowered by WOLFMAN JACK in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
BLIND BLAKE viciously subdued DROXINE in a exciting 2 minute bloody struggle.
ETHER demolished JUGGERNAUT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal uneven match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                      42         STRIKING ATTACK   33 -  22 -  1      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         SLASHING ATTACK   42 -  30 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         PARRY-LUNGE       25 -  21 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  15 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         AIMED BLOW       167 - 168 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         WALL OF STEEL     34 -  36 -  0      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         BASHING ATTACK    36 -  40 -  1      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      7         TOTAL PARRY       34 -  38 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  67 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         PARRY-STRIKE      25 -  33 -  0      43  |

Turn 641 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  3     AIMED BLOW        20 - 22         4  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     8 - 10         2  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  4     WALL OF STEEL      4 -  5         1  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  4         1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  4                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341    47  23  4  297 SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)
AIMED BLOW       BURIED TREASURE 33-7722    34  13  0  264 SEA DOGS (1501)
STRIKING ATTACK  DON KING 47-5374           50  44  3  228 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
PARRY-LUNGE      EBONY 10-3116              34  15  0  219 DRAGON LORDS (555)
SLASHING ATTACK  XAVIER 75-2071             35  12  2  215 RUNEBLADES (1585)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    SLAP YOURSELF SIL 21-4697  57  50  0  211 SORE LOSERS (1580)
TOTAL PARRY      THE WAD O' GAS 82-13378    46  28  0  201 ENIGMA 1 (1664)
LUNGING ATTACK   KULGAN 56-4268             32  43  3  200 MEN OF STEEL (1659)
BASHING ATTACK   ERIK 56-3399               40  67  0  193 MEN OF STEEL (1659)
PARRY-STRIKE     WELL DON 16-6079           30   9  0  188 GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1601)

The overall popularity leader is ASSUR 18-7821.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was WHAT? 24-4991.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHOPPED RABBIT 60-1362, 
FISHWIFE 33-7822, GZA 84-27225, ARCHERS OF LOAF 43-4837, TRUGOY THE DOVE 42-4614, 
TALIB KWELI 42-4631, BRAINS MCGEE 32-5441, SUBPRIME RIB 81-1567, EDDIE VEDDER 4-6710, 
and XAVIER 75-2071.

The least popular fighter this week was GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were KING RAT 9-5715, ALBERT KING 6-6821, DANG LEN 62-4694, ZENSU 
LASAGNA 61-3728, XYLOID 65-7141, ODB 14-4891, SLITHERING IDIOT 10-6105, BOA 1-8830, 
SHIV 26-5006, and THE FLYEST 36-7549.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  4 0  ZORPUNT(24)          0  1 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            1  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  1 0  TROCAR(54)           0  1 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  2 0  CALEAM(26)           1  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          1  3 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  LAPUR(29)            1  0 0  ARADI(60)            2  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  5 0  ARVAT(32)            2  0 0  JURINE(61)           1  1 0  
ARKERS(8)            0  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   2  2 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             2  2 0  MURSKA(35)           2  2 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  1 0  JHANS(36)            3  3 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       2  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  JADE MOUNTAIN(75)    2  3 0  
RIZTAB(12)           2  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       1  0 0  
DULLENS(13)          0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           3  0 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      1  2 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  3 0  VEASTIAN(43)         1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  
WILLAF(16)           2  0 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  1 0  BLACKSTONE(84)       3  2 0  
TALCAMA(18)          4  2 0  NORTH FORK(47)       2  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          1  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        2  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           2  1 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
SOLVEN(22)           0  1 0  FRATSFA(52)          1  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      3  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOWNWITHTHEKING 1-8736      31  23  1  118  RUN DMC (1626)             MORDANT
 GOPHER BAROQUE 2-3359       87  74  0  160  CREAM OF THE SLOP (589)    NIANIA
 DISSIDENT 4-6672            30  27  2  183  PEARL JAM (1638)           JHELUM
 WOLFMAN JACK 5-4594         14   1  2   61  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 BIG BILL BROONZY 6-6640     31  21  0  171  BLACK AND BLUES (1632)     TRANSEL
 URA GONER 8-5214            25   6  1  149  YOU PAY I SLAY (1500)      ARKERS
 ARDSHEAL 9-4183             28  19  0  136  RED FURY (786)             ZUKAL
 EBONY 10-3116               34  15  0  219  DRAGON LORDS (555)         KOLACT
 ARTHUR DENT 11-7305         34  38  0  154  THE HITCHHIKERS (1564)     ARUAK CITY

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DIZZY GILLESPIE 12-5792     33  42  0  142  BLUE NOTE (1642)           RIZTAB
 FRANKIE 13-5579             20  26  0   28  SERPENTS HOLD 929 (1621)   DULLENS
 REUNITED 14-4771            37  37  1  182  WU-TANG FOREVER (1643)     TOBIR
 WELL DON 16-6079            30   9  0  188  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1601)   WILLAF
 SPARE ANCHOR 18-9610        67  34  1  197  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 GRAVITRON 19-5369           25   7  1  163  THE MOTHERSHIP CC (1611)   ZUWAYZA
 SLAP YOURSELF SILL 21-4697  57  50  0  211  SORE LOSERS (1580)         SUNSET
 CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC 22-7035   19  20  0   60  ARE YOU ? (1647)           SOLVEN
 WHAT? 24-4991               24  16  2   77  TRIBE (1648)               ZORPUNT
 SAURON 25-5581              26   9  2  104  SAY MY NAME (1649)         LYRATILAN
 SHIV 26-5006                24  17  1  117  SERPENTS HOLD (1608)       CALEAM
 NERO 29-5707                40  47  1  108  TREKKERS (1534)            LAPUR
 BRAINS MCGEE 32-5441        26  27  2   90  THE WALKING DEAD (1538)    ARVAT
 BURIED TREASURE 33-7722     34  13  0  264  SEA DOGS (1501)            NIATOLI ISLAND
 FURIOUS FROGPALER 35-4309   27  15  0  172  BATTLE FROGS (1597)        MURSKA
 VIPER 36-7544               39  23  0  204  SERPENTS HOLD (1609)       JHANS
 WHAT'S A VOLKSIE? 38-4563   39  39  0  146  TEAM FLOYD (690)           CLIFFHOME
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          46  47  1  172  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 TRUGOY THE DOVE 42-4614     36  44  1  163  INTELLECTS OF HIPHOP (1655 RODEKI
 HALFTIME 43-4816            21  15  1   73  EPIC RAP (1656)            VEASTIAN
 KURT COBAIN 46-4253         32  28  0  147  THE 27 CLUB (1634)         ARDIVENT
 DON KING 47-5374            50  44  3  228  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 NASTY NES 50-142            48  53  1  197  PUBLIC ENEMY (1530)        SNOWBOUND
 MANNY LEHMAN 51-5074        39  42  1  169  COLLEGE RADIO (1541)       TRICORUS
 DARGON 52-4264              28  14  0   90  DRAGONS GUARD II (1619)    FRATSFA
 SWEET CHILD 53-6040         24   9  0  111  EXCELLENT TUNES (1658)     KHALHUMS
 RUBBER BULLET 54-2503       44  25  1  201  USELESS TOOLS (735)        TROCAR
 KULGAN 56-4268              32  43  3  200  MEN OF STEEL (1659)        ROCANIS
 Q MARK 60-8880              36  32  0  195  UNNAMEABLES (1661)         ARADI
 STORMCROWE PIE 61-3734      20  34  4   96  SHEWISH BUFFET (1562)      JURINE
 DANG LEN 62-4694            24  15  0   51  GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (1633)   VALAMANTIS
 KUNG PAO KOLACTAN 63-2882   38  22  2  199  SHEWISH BUFFET (1568)      AMEN-TEI
 XYLOID 65-7141              20  24  1   35  SCRABBLE (1662)            DAL SHANG
 XAVIER 75-2071              35  12  2  215  RUNEBLADES (1585)          JADE MOUNTAIN
 NAKED LUNCH 78-2917         34  27  0  203  SHEWISH BUFFET (1537)      LIN TIRIAN
 CAT N TONIC 81-1870         26  22  3  166  FURRY FURY (1593)          SHADOWSPIRE
 THE WAD O' GAS 82-13378     46  28  0  201  ENIGMA 1 (1664)            DWES EG
 NEVERMIND 84-23395          28  37  3  145  AL BUMS VI (1665)          BLACKSTONE
 THE MAILMAN 96-616          22  28  6  119  STINKY OCCUPATIONS (1666)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 GARLIC ARAOI 97-4776         8  15  4   50  SHEWISH PICNIC (1667)      SHADOW GROVE
 BAKED CONVINCIA 98-2341     47  23  4  297  SHEWISH BANQUET (1515)     SYVYN'S HILL
 RUPTURE 99-3463             32  20  4  217  BLOOD GANG (1532)          SOUTH RIDGE