ADVANCED DUELMASTERS

Date   : 09/18/2003    Duedate: 10/01/2003

FREE BLADES

DM-103    TURN-359

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 MEOW MIX 21/978       154   51  3 75.1      LUROCIANS II 33/775                   
    WOLF PACK II 32/968                      12 DEATH HORDE 33/952    192  171  8 52.9
    DARKENED PRIDE 37/998                       EASTERN HORDE 4/975                   
    BLACKEST PRIDE 21/842                       EASTERN HORDE 4 82/992                
  2 SADISTS II 19/954       5    2  0 71.4      EASTERN HORDE 75/990                  
    UNKNOWNS XIX 14/953                         EASTERN HORDE 33/813                  
    SADISTS F2F 61/1020                         EASTERN HORDE 3 19/899                
  3 DSM4 9/461            459  281  6 62.0      EASTERN HORDE 12/777                  
    PROJECT HAYSEED 82/973                      EASTERN HORDE 2 82/994                
    GROOVE MERCHANTS 64/800                  13 LOBOTOMATION 12/961    40   37  0 51.9
    MISCELLANEA 15/712                          HELPLESS ANIMALS 16/56                
    HEAVE HO! 70/926                         14 DARKMOON 12/911        88   95  1 48.1
    BLADES OF WONDER 22/1002                    SOL INVICTUS 31/974                   
  4 PITT GLADIATO 56/180 1269  844 17 60.1      SOL  INVICTUS 82/919                  
    PITT GLADIATORS 103/567                  15 ANARKYSTS 36/806      219  241  1 47.6
  5 HALL OF GIANT 12/885  318  226  9 58.5      THE BLACKHEARTS 16/788                
    HEART OF DARKNESS 64/896                    GOOD VIBRATIONS 65/805                
  6 PETS ON FIRE 49/1001   33   25  0 56.9      MAROON MIDGET 66/807                  
    HOMERIC MMMMMMS... 16/1000                  IVERS GIRLS 25/965                    
    22 ACACIA AVENUE 35/29                      IVER'S GIRLS 97/971                   
    ESTIMATED PROPHETS 12/999                16 BLOOD KNIGHTS 61/284  224  266  9 45.7
  7 SILMARILLIAD 13/146    21   16  0 56.8   17 GRAVEYARD GLO 15/936  117  139  0 45.7
    NIGHT'S GUARDIANS 48/981                    MISSION IMPLAUSIBLE 67/915            
  8 MYTHICAL 58/779       409  342  6 54.5   18 BALLROOM BLIT 70/399  107  140  2 43.3
    BLOOM COUNTY 33/840                         DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q 15/263                
    HOUSE SLYTHERIN 18/947                   19 RHYME TYME 55/397     112  155  0 41.9
    THE CHADS 36/946                         20 RPG'S 49/657          948 1318 19 41.8
    DEMONS OF DARKNESS 12/838                   MASTICATORS 64/442                    
    DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 60/900                 HOMES 33/682                          
  9 MISFIT TOYS 50/921    164  141  1 53.8      BAD IDEA 55/672                       
    STUFF I BROUGHT 71/918                   21 UNDER DURESS 64/743   665  958  9 41.0
    ARCTIC GUARDS 82/944                        DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY 33/764           
    ARCTIC GUARDS 17/888                     22 REDHORSE 56/823       171  276  2 38.3
    2ND ARCTIC GUARDS 71/1013                   ILLFANG PACT 13/254                   
 10 SHADOWS 11/960        103   89  3 53.6      ROCANIS RIDERS 55/285                 
    CASTLE BLACK 71/988                      23 CROC FILES 29/951      19   36  0 34.5
    CRUSADE 58/894                              WOMEN OF REALITY 22/1014              
    CHAMPIONS 4/956                          24-THE HASTINGS 97/1010    6   12  0 33.3
    SHADOW GOLD 71/987                          HELTER SKELTER 66/1005                
    THE DANGER DOGS 7/959                    25 SWEET MAGIC 12/717    358  825  4 30.3
    SHADOW MOD 71/986                           CARDOW HUNTERS 13/761                 
    SHADOWCIRCLE 75/991                         PUNNY AMINALS 16/708                  
    LORDS OF SHADOWS 21/963                  26 LOONY TOONS 31/1021     1    1  0 50.0
    DEATHSGATE 7/977                            THE WILLBURYS 13 13/864               
 11 LUROCIANS IV 12/865    78   68  2 53.4   27 UNKNOWNS XX 15/1019     1    1  0 50.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                           Reflections by the Lord-Marshall

Hail, Free Blades!

     Sorry for my lack of column last turn but my manager failed to send anything in
for me as he was off somewhere called Cannon Beach, OR.  Well, anyway, I am still
here and getting tougher and tougher to dislodge.  Not that it couldn't happen but
after my last two trains, it will take someone that is headed off to Primus or
Gateway, like myself, to pull it off.  As I recall, Xerxes got my challenge this next
turn.  Well, five turns as DM here now with six left before the split.  Can I stay
here all that time?  Wait and see or try to knock me off.  See you next time!

             -- Nemesis

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     I just went on a little vacation, just a LITTLE one, and I came back and Zontani 
is all set to, like, destroy the city if six people die.  But then lots MORE people 
will die.  So it's stupid, right?  I mean, I think he's got a compress about the 
number six.  And then I had to go to a spy reporter meeting, and it went on and on 
and on, so I didn't get this done yesterday and I have to finish it today fast, and 
that means not lots of, you know, talking and stuff.  Sorry.  And probably not having 
time to comment on the personals, which I'm very glad you wrote them, but SHE is, you 
know, tapping her foot.

     So here is fight stuff.
     Blackest Pride was avoided by Demons of Darkness.  They always do that, both of 
them.  I mean, Blackest is always most avoided, almost.  And Demons is almost always 
most avoiding.  It's their thing, I guess.
     Touch My Monk, Eh? got the most challenges because of having enemies in Free 
Blades.  What enemies?  Who would be an enemy for a cute little monkey?
     We had sixty-two fights, which is good in one way, because of being more than 
last time and more than the other regionals because we're a better place to be with 
us speciallizing in having fun, you know.  But it makes me winch that so many people 
are hurting each other when you all COULD be on the beach, except the beach is, like, 
small, and it would be crowded.  Twenty-seven challenge matches, too.  That means 
lots of people paying attention, which is important.  Eight TV challenges, which is 
probably more than any other arena is using, I bet.  The longest fight was eight 
minutes, which was NOT long enough for my nail polish to dry.  I mean, it's so humid, 
you know?  Nobody died.  Good.  And three standbys fought, not many for sixty-two 
fights.

     So here are the fights, in briefs and shorts and stuff like that, but no thong 
bikinis.  What if somebody cut the thong during the fight?  I mean, really!
     ANTHRAXUS (33-5723) (26-17-1,190) of DEATH HORDE challenged HOUSE MOUSE (55-221) 
(107-170-2,187) of RHYME TYME.  Down 3.  ANTHRAXUS was narrowly defeated by HOUSE 
MOUSE in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.  It says here in the notes that mice spread 
diseases, and House Mouse spread Anthraxus all over.  Gross.
     ARTEMISIA (12-5096) (30-29-0,120) of DARKMOON challenged REDFOX (13-4197) (41-
59-0,128) of CARDOW HUNTERS.  Up 8.  ARTEMISIA savagely defeated REDFOX in an 
exciting 3 minute gory Challenge duel.  They keep doing this.  I heard someone say it 
was four play, but there's only two of them.
     BANKRUPT (71-3786) (40-14-0,239) of SHADOW GOLD TV challenged DR. SCUM (15-1968) 
(48-46-2,222) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q.  Down 17.  BANKRUPT was vanquished by DR. SCUM in a 
popular 2 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.  Which mean Dr. has solvents, right?  I 
think that's what the note says.  The scribes make little notes for me sometimes, but 
this one had a drink spilled on it, because of there being no umbrella.
     BEAG MAGDA (12-4380) (42-25-2,213) of DARKMOON challenged TOUCH MY MONK, EH? 
(12-5112) (31-21-0,218) of ESTIMATED PROPHETS.  Up 5.  BEAG MAGDA was unbelievably 
bested by TOUCH MY MONK, EH? in a 2 minute conflict.  This was, you know, most 
challenged Touch.  Does it mean Beag is Touch's enemy?  Sometimes I just don't 
UNDERSTAND these notes.
     BLACK ANDARUS (71-3783) (19-10-0,176) of SHADOW MOD challenged FUNNY BUNNY (55-
1862) (81-117-1,176) of RHYME TYME.  Straight across.  BLACK ANDARUS savagely 
defeated FUNNY BUNNY in a 2 minute Challenge fray.  I guess straight across is good 
and, you know, Free Bladesy, but I'm tired of thinking about all that stuff.  You 
know, the Andorian Way and the Delarquan Way and things like that.
     BLACKMYTH (11-4018) (52-31-0,213) of SHADOWS fought CREED (64-3997) (66-43-
0,192) of GROOVE MERCHANTS.  BLACKMYTH subdued CREED in a 2 minute struggle.  And 
Creed just thought it was all a, like, myth.  As if!
     BLADE RUNNER # (33-4544) (82-59-4,197) of DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY fought DARK OMEGA 
(21-4983) (40-40-0,160) of LORDS OF SHADOWS.  BLADE RUNNER # overpowered DARK OMEGA 
in an action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.  But Dark Omega didn't get killed which 
is good and, you know, lucky, on account of Blade Runner being such a killer.  But I 
think A-sop punched him last time he killed.  Or something.  She does stuff like 
that.
     CHAOS LICH (15-4132) (38-26-0,184) of GRAVEYARD GLORY fought MOONRACER (50-3206) 
(34-30-1,191) of MISFIT TOYS.  CHAOS LICH overpowered MOONRACER in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute one-sided competition.  I know why!  It's because of the horses.  You know, 
last time Moonracer got a lot of horses and was racering them, remember?  Instead of 
practicing.  Oops.
     CHIM CHIM (12-4742) (19-13-0,70) of LUROCIANS IV fought PSYCHOSIS (9-4650) (11-
2-1,47) of DSM4.  CHIM CHIM was defeated by PSYCHOSIS in a popular 3 minute bloody 
fight.  It says here that Chim is a monkey.  I don't know who wrote that note.  It 
wasn't me.  But anyway, if Chim is a monkey, it doesn't show.  As if!
     CRYPT KEEPER (15-4146) (32-20-1,158) of GRAVEYARD GLORY fought RED BARON (33-
1092) (30-28-3,133) of LUROCIANS II.  CRYPT KEEPER was handily defeated by RED BARON 
in a 1 minute mismatched contest.  Pizza!  What a great idea, I'll have to go find 
some right now.  Because of now being when I'm hungry, of course.
     D (82-44) (22-11-0,152) of EASTERN HORDE 4 challenged FRAIL WHALE (55-1968) (99-
152-3,153) of RHYME TYME.  Up 1.  D devastated FRAIL WHALE in an action packed 6 
minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.  I think D should get a longer name.  I keep 
losing this one in the notes.
     DESECRATION (21-4392) (27-13-2,203) of BLACKEST PRIDE TV challenged SMUG BUG 
(55-2900) (37-56-0,190) of RHYME TYME.  Down 13.  DESECRATION overpowered SMUG BUG in 
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.  Only he overpowered him all over my 
windshield, or else someone did.  I mean, it was a mess.  And the Bug was still smug 
anyway.  I think it's a previous bug.  Not just smug.
     DREAM WARRIOR (48-1040) (42-16-0,209) of NIGHT'S GUARDIANS TV challenged SEVERUS 
SNAPE (18-7146) (32-22-0,214) of HOUSE SLYTHERIN.  Up 5.  DREAM WARRIOR was viciously 
subdued by SEVERUS SNAPE in a 4 minute Challenge fight.  Is it a dream or a, you 
know, nightmare?  Wake up tomorrow and see!
     DIRT KNAP (15-4418) (19-3-2,57) of UNKNOWNS XX challenged BEER (71-3539) (18-19-
0,40) of STUFF I BROUGHT.  Down 17.  DIRT KNAP overpowered BEER in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Why not?  Lots of people overpower beer.  
Especially managers.  But why?  I mean, it never has an umbrella in it, and, well, 
there's other reasons but I don't have time to say them here.
     E.A.POLECAT (15-2644) (48-27-3,229) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q TV challenged MYMID EL 
NAIMIS (7-4420) (56-21-1,239) of THE DANGER DOGS.  Up 10.  E.A.POLECAT demolished 
MYMID EL NAIMIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.  This was cats and 
dogs.  I don't know why they always fights, cats and dogs, you know, but they do.  
Even pole cats and danger dogs.  It makes them predickable.
     ELRORAN (12-4386) (41-30-2,186) of DEMONS OF DARKNESS fought FERRET INFERNO (49-
361) (39-31-2,192) of PETS ON FIRE.  ELRORAN was vanquished by FERRET INFERNO in a 1 
minute one-sided conflict.  And burned, too.  Nineteenth degree.
     GRAHAM (29-4318) (26-21-0,77) of CROC FILES challenged RAVEN (71-3435) (16-19-
0,89) of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS.  Up 12.  GRAHAM vanquished RAVEN in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided Challenge fray.  And now Graham, I thought he was a cracker, has 
feathers where his hair would be if he had hair.  Instead of, you know, scaled.
     HAYSEED X-IV (82-6120) (17-9-1,150) of PROJECT HAYSEED challenged SUPERIOR 
FORCES (33-4543) (57-84-2,143) of DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY.  Down 7.  HAYSEED X-IV 
devastated SUPERIOR FORCES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.  I never saw 
anybody turn inside out with a sneeze before.  This must be, like, some kind of 
secret weapon, right?
     JOSEPHUS (12-4111) (18-6-0,131) of LUROCIANS IV fought PINE SCENTED WONDER (14-
3682) (29-9-1,130) of UNKNOWNS XIX.  JOSEPHUS was overpowered by PINE SCENTED WONDER 
in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.  More sneezing!  It's a bad trend because of winter 
coming and lots of colds and stuff.  And none of you ever have a hankie.  As if!
     JULIUS (64-3641) (66-73-2,197) of UNDER DURESS fought LORD GALRON (33-5450) (20-
12-3,152) of LUROCIANS II.  JULIUS was overpowered by LORD GALRON in an exciting 1 
minute uneven competition.  This was totally too fast to be exciting.  Unless, you 
know, seeing melons dropped off tall buildings and stuff like that excites you.  I 
think it's just messy and a waste of the melons.
     LADY QUINITH (33-5939) (15-11-0,56) of LUROCIANS II fought BITTER ALMOND (103-
41) (14-16-4,50) of Various People.  LADY QUINITH overpowered BITTER ALMOND in an 
exciting 1 minute uneven melee.  This is why Almond, who was a sweet kid but couldn't 
get a tan, is bitter.
     LADY SUPERIOR (33-5899) (13-6-1,46) of LUROCIANS II fought BITTER ALMOND (103-
41) (14-16-4,50) of Various People.  LADY SUPERIOR overpowered BITTER ALMOND in an 
exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.  See?  People keep doing this to her, and she's 
just trying to pay off her credit cards.
     LORD HAMMER (33-5920) (18-18-1,73) of LUROCIANS II fought AGRO (29-4314) (21-29-
1,56) of CROC FILES.  LORD HAMMER was demolished by AGRO in a 1 minute uneven battle.  
But it was unreasonable for Agro to eat his leg.  I mean sometimes you need a spare 
leg.  Like for standing up or, you know, going up stairs.  Lots of stairs.
     LORD K (33-6281) (14-8-2,52) of LUROCIANS II fought BABBS BUNNY (31-2751) (23-
16-0,85) of LOONY TOONS.  LORD K viciously subdued BABBS BUNNY in a popular 2 minute 
gory bout.  Wow, today everybody is beating up the bunnies.  Funny and Babbs.  I'd 
run away, is what I would do.  I mean, do they have to put up with this?  Is it 
discriminary?
     LORD LIGHTNING (33-2856) (27-18-1,145) of LUROCIANS II fought LIMA BEAN FLAMBE 
(70-3118) (28-20-0,150) of HEAVE HO!  LORD LIGHTNING was defeated by LIMA BEAN FLAMBE 
in a crowd pleasing 1 minute duel.  Actually, the beans were just totally BURNED.  
Which was what they deserved, because I try to be imperital, but some things are just 
too much, and lima beans are one of them.
     LUMP O'GORE (13-1212) (86-79-5,191) of ILLFANG PACT fought ULTIMATE FURY (12-
5020) (27-12-2,162) of LUROCIANS IV.  LUMP O'GORE demolished ULTIMATE FURY in an 
exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.  Well, I'm sorry, Ultimate.  I mean, I wish 
you'd won, because of me being made at Lump, who didn't write personals.  He keeps 
not doing that, him and all the ones with the funny hats.  I think someone should set 
fire to the hats.
     MALICE (15-3729) (34-28-0,185) of MISCELLANEA challenged HINDENBIRD (49-1277) 
(37-21-0,184) of PETS ON FIRE.  Down 1.  MALICE was beaten by HINDENBIRD in a crowd 
pleasing 6 minute bloody Challenge fight.  What took so long was that the Hindenbird 
was just drifting all over the arena and Malice couldn't catch it.  And then it blew 
up in his face.
     MELKOR (13-1821) (34-13-0,203) of SILMARILLIAD challenged MILQUETOAST (33-5313) 
(64-39-2,216) of BLOOM COUNTY.  Up 13.  MELKOR was overpowered by MILQUETOAST in a 1 
minute mismatched Challenge conflict.  But it was, you know, SPECIAL milktoast.  With 
nutmeg.
     MILA (55-29) (49-86-0,100) of ROCANIS RIDERS fought CENTURION (71-3432) (16-10-
1,42) of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS.  MILA demolished CENTURION in a crowd pleasing 2 minute 
gory one-sided conflict.  Centurion, you should say somethng really nasty to him, 
because he probably won't even NOTICE or write you a personal or ANYTHING.  Caravan 
raiders are just no good.  Except at raiding caravans.
     MIMR (82-3783) (45-35-2,205) of SOL INVICTUS challenged MADBULL (13-4198) (50-
78-1,208) of CARDOW HUNTERS.  Up 3.  MIMR devastated MADBULL in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute one-sided Challenge battle.  Hamburger and, you know, steaks.  Yeah!
     MOJO-JOJO (12-3867) (45-36-1,213) of EASTERN HORDE challenged HEL (82-14331) 
(29-27-0,211) of ARCTIC GUARDS.  Down 2.  MOJO-JOJO savagely defeated HEL in an 
exciting 1 minute brutal Challenge fight.  This is some kind of alley-corry, right?  
I hate alley-corry.  It's confusing.  I mean, why not just say it?
     MORROLAN (7-4400) (35-41-2,183) of DEATHSGATE fought BLINDFOLD SKIING (55-2408) 
(60-82-3,210) of BAD IDEA.  MORROLAN was handily defeated by BLINDFOLD SKIING in a 1 
minute mismatched melee.  You know what I think?  I think there are EYEHOLES in that 
blindfold!  I mean, did it look to YOU like he couldn't see what he was hitting?
     MR. TESTOSTERONE (70-1744) (40-53-4,195) of BALLROOM BLITZ challenged KOOSH BALL 
(71-3536) (36-24-0,197) of STUFF I BROUGHT.  MR. TESTOSTERONE savagely defeated KOOSH 
BALL in an exciting 4 minute Challenge match.  And the stuffing came out and 
everything!
     NEBUCHADNEZZER (15-4097) (35-30-0,176) of GRAVEYARD GLORY fought LORD REDMOND 
(12-4109) (31-16-1,137) of LUROCIANS IV.  NEBUCHADNEZZER devastated LORD REDMOND in a 
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.  Well, of course!  I mean, what else would 
you expect?
     NEMESIS (4-5115) (49-8-0,317) of CHAMPIONS TV challenged XERXES (67-2429) (42-
34-2,256) of MISSION IMPLAUSIBLE.  Down 61 or something.  NEMESIS devastated XERXES 
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.  Which means Nemesis is still Lord 
Marshall, even if he comes in the middle of the report.  Congratulations, and thank 
you for writing a column.  It's the little things that make a difference.
     NIGHTIE KNIGHT (12-4731) (40-28-1,135) of LOBOTOMATION fought LORD FIREFLASH 
(33-2966) (26-27-0,98) of LUROCIANS II.  NIGHTIE KNIGHT devastated LORD FIREFLASH in 
a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.  But it's a GOOD nightie, you know, with, like, 
steel lace and everything.  And carramouse feathers.
     NORTHERN LIGHTS (19-3182) (60-29-1,199) of SADISTS II fought MOONJUMPER (16-
3062) (55-88-1,191) of PUNNY AMINALS.  NORTHERN LIGHTS handily defeated MOONJUMPER in 
a 2 minute uneven match.  I don't think Moonjumper will ever, ever have a winning 
record again, do you?  Not even with strategy changes.
     ON MY WAY (61-3154) (14-2-0,59) of SADISTS F2F challenged JOELEAN (97-903) (11-
13-4,73) of IVER'S GIRLS.  Up 14.  ON MY WAY was luckily beaten by JOELEAN in a 5 
minute Challenge competition.  Well, of course.  You have to get on your way faster.  
I mean, no waiting around, or they'll CATCH you.
     PANIC ATTACK (9-3624) (24-13-1,196) of DSM4 fought MELTDOWN (32-3836) (25-3-
0,176) of WOLF PACK II.  PANIC ATTACK overpowered MELTDOWN in a 1 minute uneven bout.  
So, did Meltdown melt?  I couldn't see, because of this cute boy with a tan and, you 
know, hot dogs for sale that was in front of me right then.
     PARANOIA (9-4557) (15-4-1,174) of DSM4 TV challenged TITAN (21-5070) (35-22-
1,186) of BLACKEST PRIDE.  Up 12.  PARANOIA won victory over TITAN in a 2 minute 
Challenge duel.  So now Titan KNOWS, someone is totally out to GET him.
     PARTY'S OVER (75-2179) (36-30-0,220) of EASTERN HORDE fought ROYLAND (56-3380) 
(56-42-0,194) of REDHORSE.  PARTY'S OVER overpowered ROYLAND in an exciting 1 minute 
uneven bout.  Good!  Because of Royland being vicious and a caravan raider.  Put him 
in the trashcan.  Um, you are going to pick up the trash after the party, aren't you?
     RAVEN EYES (12-2709) (62-81-0,202) of SWEET MAGIC fought GNU WORLD ORDER (16-
3948) (61-56-3,199) of HELPLESS ANIMALS.  RAVEN EYES overpowered GNU WORLD ORDER in 
an exciting 3 minute brutal one-sided fray.  So it's still the old world order, 
right?  Or maybe the middle-aged world order.
     RILLION (36-5545) (30-15-1,201) of THE CHADS fought HELYSE (103-36) (45-35-
5,165) of Various People.  RILLION won victory over HELYSE in a popular 2 minute 
gruesome bout.  Oh, right, the third standby.  Helyse wasn't any happier than Bitter 
Almond, but at least she only had to fight ONCE today.
     ROCK A BYE (33-4653) (48-35-3,193) of EASTERN HORDE challenged TYVIN (60-5382) 
(44-35-1,197) of DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2.  Up 4.  ROCK A BYE slimly won victory over 
TYVIN in a popular 2 minute Challenge brawl.  Is Rock slim?  Is Tyvin, you know, NOT 
slim?  What does slim have to do with this, anyway?
     SAMOO (37-4630) (20-12-1,107) of DARKENED PRIDE fought POINTY (16-4427) (34-22-
0,140) of HOMERIC MMMMMMS....  SAMOO savagely defeated POINTY in a crowd pleasing 2 
minute gory contest.  With sharp pointy things, which I don't think is fair.  It's 
like being hosted with your own pickle.
     SAMPSA (31-4233) (21-5-2,97) of SOL INVICTUS fought HEDGEWICK (12-4355) (19-18-
1,76) of LUROCIANS IV.  SAMPSA vanquished HEDGEWICK in a 1 minute mismatched match.  
Sampsa sounds like Samoo.  Are you two related?  Cousins?  Well, whatever, keep that 
hedge trimmed, or it'll block all the sun and nobody will be able to work on their 
tans, which they should.  Carefully.  A good tan is a work of art, and you don't get 
works of art by being careless, you know.  It isn't like you can do it with monkeys.
     SANDY (22-5829) (21-14-1,65) of WOMEN OF REALITY fought THE WRATH OF DOG (12-
5103) (13-7-1,47) of LUROCIANS IV.  SANDY bested THE WRATH OF DOG in a 2 minute bout.  
Does this mean Sandy is a cat?
     SETHRA LAVODE (71-4060) (23-2-0,230) of CASTLE BLACK TV challenged STEVE DALLAS 
(33-5314) (67-32-0,258) of BLOOM COUNTY.  Up 28.  SETHRA LAVODE was subdued by STEVE 
DALLAS in an exciting 2 minute gory Challenge melee.  And you know what?  Steve is 
insisting on green chile cheeseburgers.  You should try them, he's buying for 
everybody at the Wolf's Head tonight.
     SHEA MAGEBORN (75-2273) (29-24-0,189) of SHADOWCIRCLE fought JOPPA CLUBFIST (12-
3748) (21-19-0,192) of HALL OF GIANT.  SHEA MAGEBORN was vanquished by JOPPA CLUBFIST 
in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.  With clubs.  And, you know, fists.  It says so.
     SNOOPY (33-970) (27-18-3,102) of LUROCIANS II fought ZENAR (12-4043) (23-19-
1,140) of DEMONS OF DARKNESS.  SNOOPY was savagely defeated by ZENAR in a crowd 
pleasing 4 minute bloody fight.  Which the crowd was pleased because of not liking 
people to snoop too much.  It's like Peeping Toms.  Nobody likes them, even if 
they're actually Chucks.  Or Harries.
     STEEL CLOTH (56-1745) (96-103-3,234) of PITT GLADIATORS fought DUBIJN (64-4092) 
(36-9-0,205) of HEART OF DARKNESS.  STEEL CLOTH handily defeated DUBIJN in a 1 minute 
one-sided fight.  This is a victory for the, like, little guy, right?  I mean, 
because of Steel having two hundred fights, and Dubijn only forty-five.
     SUE (22-5828) (19-15-0,63) of WOMEN OF REALITY challenged NEBUCHADNEZZAR (22-
5821) (18-14-0,88) of BLADES OF WONDER.  Up 25.  SUE was demolished by NEBUCHADNEZZAR 
in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.  I guess this is just the kind of thing 
Nebuchadnezzars do.  But I wish they'd change their names to shorter things.
     SWEET CHASTITY (35-504) (33-27-1,83) of 22 ACACIA AVENUE fought LORD ARYN (33-
5862) (24-14-1,87) of LUROCIANS II.  SWEET CHASTITY overpowered LORD ARYN in a 2 
minute gruesome one-sided brawl.  And at the end, Lord had this really goofy look on 
his face.  Gosh.
     TESEN (12-4211) (38-36-1,182) of DEMONS OF DARKNESS fought LADY EMILY (33-6626) 
(20-12-1,161) of LUROCIANS II.  TESEN was overpowered by LADY EMILY in a popular 1 
minute one-sided fight.  So now Tesen has to be all good mannered until next time.  
It was a bet.
     THE BIG MEOW (21-5307) (21-3-0,173) of MEOW MIX TV challenged HERMES (58-6016) 
(18-7-0,110) of MYTHICAL.  Down 63.  THE BIG MEOW unbelievably bested HERMES in an 
action packed 8 minute Challenge duel.  It's the wings on the sandals, Hermes.  It 
makes you look like a bird, you know?  And cats chase birds, and stuff.  So don't 
wear the sandals next time.
     THE MADNESS (21-5214) (26-10-1,80) of BLACKEST PRIDE fought BRANGUS (16-4162) 
(24-33-1,79) of PUNNY AMINALS.  THE MADNESS overpowered BRANGUS in a 1 minute one-
sided match.  Which now Brangus is mad.
     TRASH QUAM (19-3751) (29-22-2,225) of EASTERN HORDE 3 fought VALKYRIE (17-5544) 
(73-49-0,195) of ARCTIC GUARDS.  TRASH QUAM was devastated by VALKYRIE in a crowd 
pleasing 3 minute one-sided duel.  But then Valkyrie tried to carry him away and he 
wasn't dead yet, and the orderlies from the Infirmary wanted to carry him away and 
were all upset, and it was, you know, totally a mess.
     TRY ME NOW (61-846) (54-47-1,223) of BLOOD KNIGHTS fought LORD LIGHTSPEED (33-
2928) (34-23-3,205) of LUROCIANS II.  TRY ME NOW was demolished by LORD LIGHTSPEED in 
a 2 minute brutal one-sided fight.  Well, okay, try him later.  This is maybe too 
soon, I guess.
     TRYURLUCK (61-1029) (48-38-1,201) of BLOOD KNIGHTS fought KELOS (55-30) (53-77-
3,186) of ROCANIS RIDERS.  TRYURLUCK subdued KELOS in a popular 1 minute fight.  Ha.
     VENRIC (60-5709) (20-21-0,92) of DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 challenged LOPING WOLF 
(56-1796) (52-92-0,57) of REDHORSE.  Down 35.  VENRIC vanquished LOPING WOLF in a 1 
minute one-sided Challenge fight.  And now Venric has a wolfskin cape, and I didn't 
think golems were into, you know, fashion and stuff.  But it looks good.  Strange, 
but good.
     WHITE KNIGHT (58-5971) (58-43-2,227) of CRUSADE challenged SNAP CRACKLE PUP (49-
738) (39-34-1,218) of PETS ON FIRE.  Down 9.  WHITE KNIGHT overpowered SNAP CRACKLE 
PUP in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Well, gosh.  I would never have thought 
a white knight, which is like having a white hat, would kick a dog, especially a pup.  
It just goes to show.
     WOUNDWORT (12-4228) (43-32-0,198) of DARKMOON challenged GROGGY DOGGY (55-223) 
(112-170-0,200) of RHYME TYME.  Up 2.  WOUNDWORT was overcome by GROGGY DOGGY in a 
crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge bout.  This is SO unfair, because it wasn't a 
fight, just the Doggy stumbling around and falling on top of Woundwort because of not 
even realizing he was THERE.
     Well, that's it, and I really have to let the scribes take this now, because of 
HER, tapping her foot and all.

                                        Debby T.

P.S.  Why isn't there even a regional arena news?  Are we not doing that?

LORD-MARSHALL                 W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEMESIS 4-5115              50   8  0  332  CHAMPIONS (956)            JHELUM

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STEVE DALLAS 33-5314        68  32  0  275  BLOOM COUNTY (840)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 E.A.POLECAT 15-2644         49  27  3  260  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (263)      MALCORN
 STEEL CLOTH 56-1745         97 103  3  258  PITT GLADIATORS (180)      ROCANIS
 DR. SCUM 15-1968            49  46  2  248  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (263)      MALCORN
 WHITE KNIGHT 58-5971        59  43  2  243  CRUSADE (894)              DELARQ TOR
 MILQUETOAST 33-5313         65  39  2  240  BLOOM COUNTY (840)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 PARTY'S OVER 75-2179        37  30  0  236  EASTERN HORDE (990)        JADE MOUNTAIN
 SEVERUS SNAPE 18-7146       33  22  0  235  HOUSE SLYTHERIN (947)      TALCAMA
 TOUCH MY MONK, EH? 12-5112  32  21  0  233  ESTIMATED PROPHETS (999)   RIZTAB
 BLACKMYTH 11-4018           53  31  0  229  SHADOWS (960)              ARUAK CITY
 MOJO-JOJO 12-3867           46  36  1  220  EASTERN HORDE (777)        RIZTAB
 LORD LIGHTSPEED 33-2928     35  23  3  220  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 RAVEN EYES 12-2709          63  81  0  218  SWEET MAGIC (717)          RIZTAB
 BLINDFOLD SKIING 55-2408    61  82  3  217  BAD IDEA (672)             KHALANI
-SMALL ROOMS 97-606          17   6  4  217  THE HASTINGS (1010)        SHADOW GROVE
 MIMR 82-3783                46  35  2  216  SOL  INVICTUS (919)        DWES EG
 VALKYRIE 17-5544            74  49  0  215  ARCTIC GUARDS (888)        ALJAFIR
 PANIC ATTACK 9-3624         25  13  1  213  DSM4 (461)                 ZUKAL
 GROGGY DOGGY 55-223        113 170  0  211  RHYME TYME (397)           KHALANI
 DESECRATION 21-4392         28  13  2  211  BLACKEST PRIDE (842)       SUNSET

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MR. TESTOSTERONE 70-1744    41  53  4  210  BALLROOM BLITZ (399)       SENTERN
 NORTHERN LIGHTS 19-3182     61  29  1  208  SADISTS II (954)           ZUWAYZA
 ROCK A BYE 33-4653          49  35  3  208  EASTERN HORDE (813)        NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 FERRET INFERNO 49-361       40  31  2  207  PETS ON FIRE (1001)        VITHICAR
 SETHRA LAVODE 71-4060       23   3  0  207  CASTLE BLACK (988)         KYR'TERR
 JOPPA CLUBFIST 12-3748      22  19  0  207  HALL OF GIANT (885)        RIZTAB
-AZREAL ELS III 4-4482       26  15  2  206  EASTERN HORDE (975)        JHELUM
 LUMP O'GORE 13-1212         87  79  5  203  ILLFANG PACT (254)         DULLENS
 TRYURLUCK 61-1029           49  38  1  203  BLOOD KNIGHTS (284)        JURINE
 RILLION 36-5545             31  15  1  203  THE CHADS (946)            JHANS
 XERXES 67-2429              42  35  2  201  MISSION IMPLAUSIBLE (915)  BARIKALA
 DREAM WARRIOR 48-1040       42  17  0  201  NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (981)    CAER
 CHAOS LICH 15-4132          39  26  0  201  GRAVEYARD GLORY (936)      MALCORN
 HOUSE MOUSE 55-221         108 170  2  200  RHYME TYME (397)           KHALANI
 BLADE RUNNER # 33-4544      83  59  4  199  DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY (764) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 BEAG MAGDA 12-4380          42  26  2  199  DARKMOON (911)             RIZTAB
-INCISOR 64-3639             58  73  4  198  MASTICATORS (442)          KURUKAR
 HEL 82-14331                29  28  0  198  ARCTIC GUARDS (944)        DWES EG
 MYMID EL NAIMIS 7-4420      56  22  1  197  THE DANGER DOGS (959)      BONSUR
 WOUNDWORT 12-4228           43  33  0  197  DARKMOON (911)             RIZTAB
 MELKOR 13-1821              34  14  0  197  SILMARILLIAD (146)         DULLENS
-PENDRAGON 49-2982           85  70  0  196  RPG'S (657)                VITHICAR
 CREED 64-3997               66  44  0  196  GROOVE MERCHANTS (800)     KURUKAR
 HINDENBIRD 49-1277          38  21  0  196  PETS ON FIRE (1001)        VITHICAR
 TRASH QUAM 19-3751          29  23  2  196  EASTERN HORDE 3 (899)      ZUWAYZA
 TYVIN 60-5382               44  36  1  195  DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (900) ARADI
-RED HUMMER 65-5154          49  49  3  194  GOOD VIBRATIONS (805)      DAL SHANG
 SNAP CRACKLE PUP 49-738     39  35  1  194  PETS ON FIRE (1001)        VITHICAR
-BLACKER 33-4445             60  85  3  193  HOMES (682)                NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 TRY ME NOW 61-846           54  48  1  193  BLOOD KNIGHTS (284)        JURINE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MADBULL 13-4198             50  79  1  193  CARDOW HUNTERS (761)       DULLENS
 PARANOIA 9-4557             16   4  1  193  DSM4 (461)                 ZUKAL
 KOOSH BALL 71-3536          36  25  0  192  STUFF I BROUGHT (918)      KYR'TERR
 MOONJUMPER 16-3062          55  89  1  191  PUNNY AMINALS (708)        WILLAF
 BANKRUPT 71-3786            40  15  0  191  SHADOW GOLD (987)          KYR'TERR
 GNU WORLD ORDER 16-3948     61  57  3  190  HELPLESS ANIMALS (56)      WILLAF
 DUBIJN 64-4092              36  10  0  190  HEART OF DARKNESS (896)    KURUKAR
 ROYLAND 56-3380             56  43  0  188  REDHORSE (823)             ROCANIS
 KELOS 55-30                 53  78  3  188  ROCANIS RIDERS (285)       KHALANI
 SMUG BUG 55-2900            37  57  0  187  RHYME TYME (397)           KHALANI
 MALICE 15-3729              34  29  0  186  MISCELLANEA (712)          MALCORN
 LORD GALRON 33-5450         21  12  3  186  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-MAGE 49-2918                66  67  3  185  RPG'S (657)                VITHICAR
 NEBUCHADNEZZER 15-4097      36  30  0  185  GRAVEYARD GLORY (936)      MALCORN
 ANTHRAXUS 33-5723           26  18  1  184  DEATH HORDE (952)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 LADY EMILY 33-6626          21  12  1  184  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 BLACK ANDARUS 71-3783       20  10  0  184  SHADOW MOD (986)           KYR'TERR
 SHEA MAGEBORN 75-2273       29  25  0  181  SHADOWCIRCLE (991)         JADE MOUNTAIN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ELRORAN 12-4386             41  31  2  180  DEMONS OF DARKNESS (838)   RIZTAB
 MOONRACER 50-3206           34  31  1  180  MISFIT TOYS (921)          SNOWBOUND
 TITAN 21-5070               35  23  1  179  BLACKEST PRIDE (842)       SUNSET
 MORROLAN 7-4400             35  42  2  177  DEATHSGATE (977)           BONSUR
-WWW.QUAM.COM 82-4467        30  33  4  175  EASTERN HORDE 2 (994)      DWES EG
 THE BIG MEOW 21-5307        22   3  0  175  MEOW MIX (978)             SUNSET
 FUNNY BUNNY 55-1862         81 118  1  174  RHYME TYME (397)           KHALANI
 MELTDOWN 32-3836            25   4  0  174  WOLF PACK II (968)         ARVAT
-THORON 16-4094              39  49  0  171  THE BLACKHEARTS (788)      WILLAF
-TRAVELLER 49-2866           68  74  2  168  RPG'S (657)                VITHICAR
 JULIUS 64-3641              66  74  2  166  UNDER DURESS (743)         KURUKAR
 D 82-44                     23  11  0  166  EASTERN HORDE 4 (992)      DWES EG
 DARK OMEGA 21-4983          40  41  0  165  LORDS OF SHADOWS (963)     SUNSET
-CATATONIC 9-4649            29  16  0  165  DSM4 (461)                 ZUKAL
-PAPPI DEWRAG 66-3565        28   7  0  164  HELTER SKELTER (1005)      TARRGIR
 TESEN 12-4211               38  37  1  163  DEMONS OF DARKNESS (838)   RIZTAB
 RED BARON 33-1092           31  28  3  163  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 ULTIMATE FURY 12-5020       27  13  2  161  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 LIMA BEAN FLAMBE 70-3118    29  20  0  160  HEAVE HO! (926)            SENTERN
 HAYSEED X-IV 82-6120        18   9  1  159  PROJECT HAYSEED (973)      DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRAIL WHALE 55-1968         99 153  3  148  RHYME TYME (397)           KHALANI
 PINE SCENTED WONDE 14-3682  30   9  1  148  UNKNOWNS XIX (953)         TOBIR
-CLOD PUNTER 66-3309         31  40  3  144  MAROON MIDGET (807)        TARRGIR
 LORD LIGHTNING 33-2856      27  19  1  144  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 ZENAR 12-4043               24  19  1  143  DEMONS OF DARKNESS (838)   RIZTAB
-GRIMTHANE 16-3957           29  33  0  140  THE BLACKHEARTS (788)      WILLAF
 LORD REDMOND 12-4109        31  17  1  139  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 SAMOO 37-4630               21  12  1  138  DARKENED PRIDE (998)       SIBIKHAS
 SUPERIOR FORCES 33-4543     57  85  2  137  DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY (764) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-IMMORTAL 49-2905            47  87  1  137  RPG'S (657)                VITHICAR
 NIGHTIE KNIGHT 12-4731      41  28  1  137  LOBOTOMATION (961)         RIZTAB
 CRYPT KEEPER 15-4146        32  21  1  136  GRAVEYARD GLORY (936)      MALCORN
 ARTEMISIA 12-5096           31  29  0  132  DARKMOON (911)             RIZTAB
-FODDERER 36-5602            23  23  0  131  ANARKYSTS (806)            JHANS
 HERMES 58-6016              18   8  0  129  MYTHICAL (779)             DELARQ TOR
 JOSEPHUS 12-4111            18   7  0  125  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 REDFOX 13-4197              41  60  0  123  CARDOW HUNTERS (761)       DULLENS
 POINTY 16-4427              34  23  0  120  HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (1000)  WILLAF
-RUNEQUEST 49-2862           61  95  3  112  RPG'S (657)                VITHICAR
 SNOOPY 33-970               27  19  3  108  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SAMPSA 31-4233              22   5  2  104  SOL INVICTUS (974)         CHIMLEVTAL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MILA 55-29                  50  86  0  102  ROCANIS RIDERS (285)       KHALANI

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SWEET CHASTITY 35-504       34  27  1  100  22 ACACIA AVENUE (29)      MURSKA
 LORD FIREFLASH 33-2966      26  28  0  100  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-ROCKI ROADS 25-4365         26  30  0   95  IVERS GIRLS (965)          LYRATILAN
 GRAHAM 29-4318              27  21  0   94  CROC FILES (951)           LAPUR
 VENRIC 60-5709              21  21  0   94  DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (900) ARADI
 NEBUCHADNEZZAR 22-5821      19  14  0   94  BLADES OF WONDER (1002)    SOLVEN
 THE MADNESS 21-5214         27  10  1   91  BLACKEST PRIDE (842)       SUNSET

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JOELEAN 97-903              12  13  4   83  IVER'S GIRLS (971)         SHADOW GROVE
 LORD K 33-6281              15   8  2   81  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 LORD ARYN 33-5862           24  15  1   77  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 AGRO 29-4314                22  29  1   76  CROC FILES (951)           LAPUR
-HOG REAVER 13-4525          23   1  0   75  THE WILLBURYS 13 (864)     DULLENS
 HEDGEWICK 12-4355           19  19  1   75  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 RAVEN 71-3435               16  20  0   75  2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (1013)   KYR'TERR
 BRANGUS 16-4162             24  34  1   73  PUNNY AMINALS (708)        WILLAF
-PAZUZU 16-4318              17  19  1   71  THE BLACKHEARTS (788)      WILLAF
 PSYCHOSIS 9-4650            12   2  1   70  DSM4 (461)                 ZUKAL
 SANDY 22-5829               22  14  1   69  WOMEN OF REALITY (1014)    SOLVEN
-BLUEY 29-4317               24  22  0   66  CROC FILES (951)           LAPUR
 BABBS BUNNY 31-2751         23  17  0   65  LOONY TOONS (1021)         CHIMLEVTAL
 LADY QUINITH 33-5939        16  11  0   65  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 DIRT KNAP 15-4418           20   3  2   64  UNKNOWNS XX (1019)         MALCORN
 ON MY WAY 61-3154           14   3  0   61  SADISTS F2F (1020)         JURINE
 SUE 22-5828                 19  16  0   60  WOMEN OF REALITY (1014)    SOLVEN
 LADY SUPERIOR 33-5899       14   6  1   59  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 CHIM CHIM 12-4742           19  14  0   57  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 LOPING WOLF 56-1796         52  93  0   56  REDHORSE (823)             ROCANIS
 LORD HAMMER 33-5920         18  19  1   54  LUROCIANS II (775)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 THE WRATH OF DOG 12-5103    13   8  1   50  LUROCIANS IV (865)         RIZTAB
 CENTURION 71-3432           16  11  1   47  2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (1013)   KYR'TERR
 BEER 71-3539                18  20  0   38  STUFF I BROUGHT (918)      KYR'TERR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Rillion -- Yeah I know, I open my mouth and you stick my foot in it.  I think 3-0 in
one turn is the best you've ever done against me?  Hermes vs. Madness, great win for
you!  Zenar vs. Samoo, another good win for you.  Milquetoast vs. Titan?  Come on,
I've been fighting Milquetoast ever since I got here!  Isn't it about time he goes to
Gateway?  Either way, congrats on a good turn. -- Sylvester

Sandman -- Big Meow giving you fits?  He does that to a lot of people.... --
Sylvester

All -- 8-2, now that is finally a really respectable turn.  Now to do that again! :)
-- Shadowgate

Rillion -- Well, we now have the same record but I have a ton less fights than you.
Advantage me.  Now can I close the deal? -- Shadowgate

Steve Dallas -- You could be right.  Time will tell. -- White Knight

Lump O'Gore -- I think you just have problems with anyone that has as much attack as
we do. -- Mymid El Naimis and Blackmyth

Melkor -- Wow!  Now that was a surprise!  I would never thought you would have gotten
to swing at me let alone connect!  Luckily I can take it as well as dish it out. --
Sethra Lavode

Meltdown -- That wasn't any surprise.  I have been expecting that challenge for ages.
-- Dark Omega

Blacker -- Thanks a bunch!  That is more than I have learned total in my last 8 or so
fight, while trying to learn skills! -- Morrolan

Raven Eyes -- I normally only cavort with elvish lasses, aw, who am I kidding?  I'll
be right over. -- Woundwort

Bankrupt -- Aye, you are a most confoundingly tough competitor.  I just might try you
again sometime, but I'll have to modify my strategy just a wee bit before I do. --
MIMR

Mr. Testosterone -- That was an impressive struggle for the first attack, especially
considering our style differences.  And you regained your feet quite quickly after
those knockdowns...well, after most of 'em! -- Beag Madga

Graham -- I am glad that I didn't wait around for you to set up a good attack.  I bet
that you do way too much damage being as big as you are. -- Sampsa

Xerxes -- I have lost track of it, but I think it was your turn to win that one. --
Woundwort

Pointy -- I wish that you hadn't looked so good out there.  It makes me look the
worse and I fear that I'll be retired soon if I can't show a little something better.
-- Artemisia

I think I'm going to make some changes in the lineup here, effective next turn.  So
be aware that any challenges to my warriors might end up being wasted.  I'm not sure
who I'll bring in, there are plenty to choose from.  But I think that Madbull,
Redfox, and Brangus will probably go inactive. -- Jorja

Debby -- Specializing in having fun sounds good to me. -- Jorja

Lord Lightspeed -- You're too fast for me, unless I get a strategy change. --
Moonjumper

Lord Fireflash -- Apparently you were just a flash in the pan. -- Redfox

Steve Dallas -- Why am I not surprised? -- Raven Eyes
P.S.  I want to go inactive, too!
P.P.S.  But the green chile cheeseburgers were good.

Ferret Inferno -- I hope Madbull didn't damage you too badly when he trampled on you
after you fell.  He's got a thing about trampling, lately. -- Redfox

Dirt Knap -- Damned upstart barbarian! -- Brangus

Ms. Tonte -- I am deeply hurt by your remark. -- Brangus

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
pests.
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

9 September 2003
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MANAGERS!  If you think you have what it takes to match
wits and blades with some of the best managers in Alastari, then WE WANT YOU!  The
Tournament Of The Golden Scrod #4 will begin in Aradi (DM 60) the turn after the Fall
Mail-In.  It's not too late for you to sign up.  I realize that many of you may be
hesitant after seeing that myself and Hombre have teamed up again, but we'll try to
take it easy on you guys a little bit.  For more information on T#%S IV, please
contact me at ganolus@aol.com.  We're looking for a few good managers...the few, the
proud, the TOGS!

-- Ganolus Oakleaf, T#%S IV Commish

15 September 2003
An Announcement Concerning the Brotherhood of the Blade Alliance:
     I have chosen to withdraw my membership from the Brotherhood of the Blade
alliance.  The years I have spent in the alliance have been the best of my DM career.
I leave the alliance with many great friends and will always remain close to my
former brethren.
     The Brotherhood of the Blade will not skip a beat without my membership.  It
remains in very capable hands and its roster is among the strongest in the game.
With the return on some of its founding members to DM, I know the BOB will continue
to grow in strength and prestige in the years to come. -- The Sandman

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NEMESIS devastated XERXES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
SETHRA LAVODE was subdued by STEVE DALLAS in a exciting 2 minute gory Challenge melee.
BANKRUPT was vanquished by DR. SCUM in a popular 2 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
E.A.POLECAT demolished MYMID EL NAIMIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
DESECRATION overpowered SMUG BUG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
DREAM WARRIOR was viciously subdued by SEVERUS SNAPE in a 4 minute Challenge fight.
THE BIG MEOW unbelievably bested HERMES in a action packed 8 minute Challenge duel.
PARANOIA won victory over TITAN in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
WHITE KNIGHT overpowered SNAP CRACKLE PUP in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MOJO-JOJO savagely defeated HEL in a exciting 1 minute brutal Challenge fight.
BEAG MAGDA was unbelievably bested by TOUCH MY MONK, EH? in a 2 minute conflict.
MIMR devastated MADBULL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
MELKOR was overpowered by MILQUETOAST in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
ANTHRAXUS was narrowly defeated by HOUSE MOUSE in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.
WOUNDWORT was overcome by GROGGY DOGGY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge bout.
ROCK A BYE slimly won victory over TYVIN in a popular 2 minute Challenge brawl.
MR. TESTOSTERONE savagely defeated KOOSH BALL in a exciting 4 minute Challenge match.
MALICE was beaten by HINDENBIRD in a crowd pleasing 6 minute bloody Challenge fight.
D devastated FRAIL WHALE in a action packed 6 minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.
BLACK ANDARUS savagely defeated FUNNY BUNNY in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
HAYSEED X-IV devastated SUPERIOR FORCES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ARTEMISIA savagely defeated REDFOX in a exciting 3 minute gory Challenge duel.
VENRIC vanquished LOPING WOLF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SUE was demolished by NEBUCHADNEZZAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
GRAHAM vanquished RAVEN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
ON MY WAY was luckily beaten by JOELEAN in a 5 minute Challenge competition.
DIRT KNAP overpowered BEER in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
STEEL CLOTH handily defeated DUBIJN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
TRY ME NOW was demolished by LORD LIGHTSPEED in a 2 minute brutal one-sided fight.
PARTY'S OVER overpowered ROYLAND in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
TRASH QUAM was devastated by VALKYRIE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute one-sided duel.
BLACKMYTH subdued CREED in a 2 minute struggle.
RAVEN EYES overpowered GNU WORLD ORDER in a exciting 3 minute brutal one-sided fray.
NORTHERN LIGHTS handily defeated MOONJUMPER in a 2 minute uneven match.
PANIC ATTACK overpowered MELTDOWN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
CHAOS LICH overpowered MOONRACER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided competition.
BLADE RUNNER # overpowered DARK OMEGA in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
SHEA MAGEBORN was vanquished by JOPPA CLUBFIST in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
ELRORAN was vanquished by FERRET INFERNO in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
MORROLAN was handily defeated by BLINDFOLD SKIING in a 1 minute mismatched melee.
TESEN was overpowered by LADY EMILY in a popular 1 minute one-sided fight.
RILLION won victory over HELYSE in a popular 2 minute gruesome bout.
JULIUS was overpowered by LORD GALRON in a exciting 1 minute uneven competition.
LUMP O'GORE demolished ULTIMATE FURY in a exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.
TRYURLUCK subdued KELOS in a popular 1 minute fight.
CRYPT KEEPER was handily defeated by RED BARON in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
NEBUCHADNEZZER devastated LORD REDMOND in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
JOSEPHUS was overpowered by PINE SCENTED WONDER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
SAMOO savagely defeated POINTY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory contest.
LORD LIGHTNING was defeated by LIMA BEAN FLAMBE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute duel.
SNOOPY was savagely defeated by ZENAR in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody fight.
NIGHTIE KNIGHT devastated LORD FIREFLASH in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
SAMPSA vanquished HEDGEWICK in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MILA demolished CENTURION in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory one-sided conflict.
SWEET CHASTITY overpowered LORD ARYN in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided brawl.
LORD K viciously subdued BABBS BUNNY in a popular 2 minute gory bout.
LADY QUINITH overpowered BITTER ALMOND in a exciting 1 minute uneven melee.
LORD HAMMER was demolished by AGRO in a 1 minute uneven battle.
LADY SUPERIOR overpowered BITTER ALMOND in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
SANDY bested THE WRATH OF DOG in a 2 minute bout.
THE MADNESS overpowered BRANGUS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
CHIM CHIM was defeated by PSYCHOSIS in a popular 3 minute bloody fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  35         LUNGING ATTACK   199 - 171 -  5      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 17         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  35 -  0      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   15         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  18 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 14         PARRY-LUNGE       55 -  55 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                     11         AIMED BLOW        47 -  47 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         SLASHING ATTACK   74 -  77 -  0      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         STRIKING ATTACK   56 -  60 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  13 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         WALL OF STEEL     71 -  79 -  2      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      18 -  27 -  0      40  |

Turn 359 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK    16 - 19         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  6     PARRY-LUNGE        5 -  6         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         6 -  4     TOTAL PARRY        4 -  6         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    8 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  7                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   NEMESIS 4-5115             50   8  0  332 CHAMPIONS (956)
WALL OF STEEL    STEVE DALLAS 33-5314       68  32  0  275 BLOOM COUNTY (840)
AIMED BLOW       E.A.POLECAT 15-2644        49  27  3  260 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (263)
TOTAL PARRY      DR. SCUM 15-1968           49  46  2  248 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (263)
PARRY-LUNGE      TOUCH MY MONK, EH 12-5112  32  21  0  233 ESTIMATED PROPHETS (999)
STRIKING ATTACK  MOJO-JOJO 12-3867          46  36  1  220 EASTERN HORDE (777)
SLASHING ATTACK  PANIC ATTACK 9-3624        25  13  1  213 DSM4 (461)
BASHING ATTACK   FERRET INFERNO 49-361      40  31  2  207 PETS ON FIRE (1001)
PARRY-STRIKE     HINDENBIRD 49-1277         38  21  0  196 PETS ON FIRE (1001)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    POINTY 16-4427             34  23  0  120 HOMERIC MMMMMMS... (1000)

The overall popularity leader is GROGGY DOGGY 55-223.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was HERMES 58-6016.  The ten other most popular fighters were ON MY WAY 61-3154, 
MALICE 15-3729, SEVERUS SNAPE 18-7146, ZENAR 12-4043, RAVEN EYES 12-2709, FRAIL WHALE 
55-1968, PSYCHOSIS 9-4650, MR. TESTOSTERONE 70-1744, D 82-44, and BLACK ANDARUS 
71-3783.

The least popular fighter this week was BRANGUS 16-4162.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LORD HAMMER 33-5920, HEDGEWICK 12-4355, JOSEPHUS 12-4111, MELTDOWN 
32-3836, DUBIJN 64-4092, BEER 71-3539, RAVEN 71-3435, SUE 22-5828, BABBS BUNNY 
31-2751, and LORD ARYN 33-5862.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  SUNSET(21)           3  2 0  KHALANI(55)          4  4 0  
BONSUR(7)            0  2 0  SOLVEN(22)           2  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          1  2 0  
ZUKAL(9)             3  0 0  LAPUR(29)            2  0 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  0 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           7 10 0  ARVAT(32)            0  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  2 0  
DULLENS(13)          1  3 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 11  7 0  KURUKAR(64)          0  3 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  
MALCORN(15)          5  2 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  SENTERN(70)          2  0 0  
WILLAF(16)           0  4 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  KYR'TERR(71)         1  6 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  CAER(48)             0  1 0  JADE MOUNTAIN(75)    1  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  VITHICAR(49)         2  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  1 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          1  1 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEMESIS 4-5115              50   8  0  332  CHAMPIONS (956)            JHELUM
 MYMID EL NAIMIS 7-4420      56  22  1  197  THE DANGER DOGS (959)      BONSUR
 PANIC ATTACK 9-3624         25  13  1  213  DSM4 (461)                 ZUKAL
 BLACKMYTH 11-4018           53  31  0  229  SHADOWS (960)              ARUAK CITY
 TOUCH MY MONK, EH? 12-5112  32  21  0  233  ESTIMATED PROPHETS (999)   RIZTAB
 LUMP O'GORE 13-1212         87  79  5  203  ILLFANG PACT (254)         DULLENS
 PINE SCENTED WONDE 14-3682  30   9  1  148  UNKNOWNS XIX (953)         TOBIR
 E.A.POLECAT 15-2644         49  27  3  260  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (263)      MALCORN
 MOONJUMPER 16-3062          55  89  1  191  PUNNY AMINALS (708)        WILLAF
 VALKYRIE 17-5544            74  49  0  215  ARCTIC GUARDS (888)        ALJAFIR
 SEVERUS SNAPE 18-7146       33  22  0  235  HOUSE SLYTHERIN (947)      TALCAMA
 NORTHERN LIGHTS 19-3182     61  29  1  208  SADISTS II (954)           ZUWAYZA
 DESECRATION 21-4392         28  13  2  211  BLACKEST PRIDE (842)       SUNSET
 NEBUCHADNEZZAR 22-5821      19  14  0   94  BLADES OF WONDER (1002)    SOLVEN
 GRAHAM 29-4318              27  21  0   94  CROC FILES (951)           LAPUR
 SAMPSA 31-4233              22   5  2  104  SOL INVICTUS (974)         CHIMLEVTAL
 MELTDOWN 32-3836            25   4  0  174  WOLF PACK II (968)         ARVAT
 STEVE DALLAS 33-5314        68  32  0  275  BLOOM COUNTY (840)         NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SWEET CHASTITY 35-504       34  27  1  100  22 ACACIA AVENUE (29)      MURSKA
 RILLION 36-5545             31  15  1  203  THE CHADS (946)            JHANS
 SAMOO 37-4630               21  12  1  138  DARKENED PRIDE (998)       SIBIKHAS
 DREAM WARRIOR 48-1040       42  17  0  201  NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (981)    CAER
 FERRET INFERNO 49-361       40  31  2  207  PETS ON FIRE (1001)        VITHICAR
 MOONRACER 50-3206           34  31  1  180  MISFIT TOYS (921)          SNOWBOUND
 BLINDFOLD SKIING 55-2408    61  82  3  217  BAD IDEA (672)             KHALANI
 STEEL CLOTH 56-1745         97 103  3  258  PITT GLADIATORS (180)      ROCANIS
 WHITE KNIGHT 58-5971        59  43  2  243  CRUSADE (894)              DELARQ TOR
 TYVIN 60-5382               44  36  1  195  DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (900) ARADI
 TRYURLUCK 61-1029           49  38  1  203  BLOOD KNIGHTS (284)        JURINE
 CREED 64-3997               66  44  0  196  GROOVE MERCHANTS (800)     KURUKAR
 XERXES 67-2429              42  35  2  201  MISSION IMPLAUSIBLE (915)  BARIKALA
 MR. TESTOSTERONE 70-1744    41  53  4  210  BALLROOM BLITZ (399)       SENTERN
 SETHRA LAVODE 71-4060       23   3  0  207  CASTLE BLACK (988)         KYR'TERR
 PARTY'S OVER 75-2179        37  30  0  236  EASTERN HORDE (990)        JADE MOUNTAIN
 MIMR 82-3783                46  35  2  216  SOL  INVICTUS (919)        DWES EG
 JOELEAN 97-903              12  13  4   83  IVER'S GIRLS (971)         SHADOW GROVE