DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 09/06/2003    Duedate: 09/19/2003

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-357

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 THUNDR + LITE 18/309 1126  420  7 72.8      GUANO GROUP 51/1065                   
  2 TOTEM 74/1146          45   21  2 68.2      BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                  
    DEATH STUDS VIII 82/1086                    ONE SURFING HINDU 97/1071             
    THAT SUCKS! 19/1144                         FURNITURE BARN 42/1109                
  3 MONGREL HORDE 10/964  478  232  3 67.3      LOOK OUT BELOW 6/1042                 
  4-THE GUARDIAN 21/1156  165  128  2 56.3   13 SHAMROCKS 58/424      151  161  3 48.4
    WORTHLESS MANAGERS 5/820                 14 THE MENTORS 10/408     25   30  0 45.5
  5 PARENTHOOD 82/1122   1393 1126 14 55.3   15 BEAST MASTERS 37/136   90  125  1 41.9
    MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/1038                 ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
    STREET PIZZA 18/114                         ACTS OF NATURE 6/415                  
    WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114              16 CRIMINAL ELE 39/1074   14   21  0 40.0
    SESAME SPINE 82/1070                        INDULGENT DRINKS 54/1153              
    4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063                   17 NIGHT TRAIN 37/545      4    6  0 40.0
    CHEAP DENTISTRY 82/1098                     NIGHT TRAIN 6/1158                    
    ROCK BOTTOM 82/1080                      18-SOULTHIEVES 37/416     29   44  0 39.7
    FASCINATIN' RYTHYM 82/1152                  SOUL STRIPPERS II 6/412               
  6 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1114  965  8 53.6   19 DELVERS 42/1000       188  321  1 36.9
  7 EXODUS! 3/956         426  371  3 53.5      DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    SPIDERS FROM MARS 21/950                    GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    THE TAO 36/923                           20 JOHNS 5/927           720 1275 16 36.1
    FIANADHA 69/945                             ARROGANCE 18/732                      
    THE DARK TEMPLE 18/978                      SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
  8 DOH! 24/1147         1429 1265  6 53.0      THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    THINGSINPUG'SCOOLER 4/1088                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            LETHAL LADIES 4/768                   
    WASTELAND 18/468                         21 BIG BAD 7/1073        414  779  8 34.7
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         SHEPHERDS 18/432                      
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                  SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          NEXT GENERATION 58/1075               
    DIABLO TOO 23/1037                          FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    OUTSIDE IS 48/1061                          NEXT GENERATION 18/1150               
    COOL WHEELS 58/943                          MIGHTY MORALS 51/1120                 
    BAD HAND 24/1125                            THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    DP CLONES 24/1045                        22 NINJAS 7/1107          27   51  1 34.6
  9 QUBIT 10/1140         521  462  2 53.0      RESURRECTION 2/1143                   
    ON A WHIM 82/1014                           GENOCIDE 51/1110                      
    SIR AGLIO 10/600                            KILLERS 41/1145                       
 10-DARK SUN 6/1159       272  249  3 52.2   23 TOWNSVILLAIN 10/1089   10   21  0 32.3
    WATER SPORTS 10/1160                     24 DWARVEN LEGI 21/1139    2    5  0 28.6
    RAISED BY DORKS 21/1161                  25-SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134     2    6  0 25.0
 11 DEAD EVIL 18/627       26   24  2 52.0      SRETSAMLEUD 10/1135                   
    TROOPERS 21/1113                            SRETSAMLEUD 21/1133                   
 12 THE A TEAM 38/1044    556  565  6 49.6

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Tides of Magic #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not Talahya:

     The gladiators shifted automatically to take up what each considered good
defensive stance.  Fizban noted wryly that the ability to support each other in
defense or offense did not appear to be a dominating factor.  No doubt Sheila
Greywand had reasons for the type of training she had ordained, each man trained to
be a solitary hero, but he would have preferred to see more teamwork.  He sighed
again.  Well, she doubtless had her reasons.  For himself, he picked a position where
he had a clear field in the direction Rogan was facing and rummaged through his store
of spells for those which would be most useful in a totally unknown situation.
     The fog, turned to a golden mist by the sunlight, thinned slowly.  Slowly enough
that he would have expected the approaching person to be visible by now.  Unless
Rogan had been mistaken, which seemed unlikely.  True, he, Fizban, could not hear
anyone approaching, but unfortunately he had noticed a slight deterioration in his
hearing.  Getting old was such a nuisance.  Very clever of Lady Sheila to have
granted the gladiators agelessness for so long as they remained in her service.
Immortality without agelessness was a cruel jest, but agelessness granted at the
height of one's physical powers was...tempting.  Few would refuse it, and the price
seemed so low, merely take an oath to serve her in defense of Alastari....  The oath
had magical overtones, of course, and once given could NOT be ignored.  And the
oftener he came to the Isle, associated with Lord Protectors, the more certain Fizban
became that there was a hook somewhere in that tasty bait.  Well, that wasn't today's
problem.
     The mist farther along the flagstone path swirled and parted.  The figure
approaching was approximately human in shape and size, but there had been, the old
wizard thought, reptiles in its ancestry rather than mammals.  It was scaled and had
a crest of quills.  It stopped and looked at them warily, but without overt
hostility.
     "Greetings," Scarlatti said briskly.  "We have come from a great distance, and
by accident.  Can you tell us where we are?"
     The creature uttered a musical trill, then said, in passable Isle cant, "You
have come to the Thallian Hub.  Where did you expect to be?"
     "We did not expect to have moved at all," Moonjumper answered ruefully.  "We
were on the Isle of the Eye, at the city of Talahya."
     "It is passing strange," the lizard man said, "but strange things are quite
normal here in Thallia.  It is perhaps best that you should speak with the wizards of
the College.  If you would have the goodness to come with me?"  He gestured towards
the path behind himself and the minutely scaled skin of his forehead twitched,
perhaps the equivalent of a human raising eyebrows in question.  "My name, by the
way, is--" he whistled something.  "I believe you do not have the type of mouth
needed to speak that, however, and others of your kind might say...Thristle."  He
moved along the path in the direction he'd come from, apparently trusting them to
follow and not concerned at having armed humans--and an elf--at his back.  It was
only when the lizard man had turned his back that Fizban realized Thristle was armed
with a sword, as well.
     Scarlatti hurried to catch up and walk beside their guide.  "What do you do here
in Thallia?" he asked.
     "Many things are done by different people here," Thristle said.  "Thallia is a
Hub, after all.  I myself am a gladiator, I fight on a team of netmen."  He made a
deep humming sound.  "It is not a career my clan would approve, but one does as one
must, and after the battle of Sigarvle was so disastrously lost...."  He gave a
surprisingly human shrug.  "Those of us who survived were so deeply dishonored by the
situation that we had few options.  At least this gladiating allows us to pay our
way, and we remain together as a team, honing our skills for the chance that we all
await wherein we shall retrieve our honor and be able to return to our home,
beautiful Trisnath.  What has been your career in the place from which you came?" the
lizard man asked.  "What are your skills?  For to live on Thallia is not a small
thing, and you will need to find employment at once."
     "We're gladiators, too," Scarlatti said.  "All but old Fizban there, and he's a
manager."
     "Ah, that is bad luck!  You are too few to make an effective team, and the best
you can hope for is to be taken on as standbys for the established teams.  What are
your specialties?  The phalanx teams are always looking for extra men, and I have
heard that the Blue faction chariots are--"
     "We are accustomed to fighting one-on-one," Carris Fallstar snapped from
Thristle's other side.
     Thristle's forehead twitched again.  "Single combat?  There is a market for
that, but as unknown challengers you would be likely to get only the worst matches."
He shook his head, his crest of quills rustling.  "A hard life, and not even a friend
at your side in the worst of it.  I do not envy you that!"
     "We would rather simply return to our Talahya," Fizban said.
     "And so I would suppose, as I would rather return to Trisnath.  But even if you
have no stain of dishonor to wipe out, as I and my companions have, how will you pay
the wizards to accomplish it?  The wizards of the College never act for free."
     Before anyone could respond to this, Rogan said quietly, "Someone coming up
behind us, fast.  A group--at least six, maybe seven.  They're wearing mail."
     Thristle darted a glance over his shoulder and his hand went immediately to his
sword.  "The Ardaunar!" he wailed, turning and drawing.  "Though you are not of my
company, I beg you not to flee.  The Ardaunar always pursue that which flees!"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 477): EARL OF HUNTINGTON of DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 362): BIG RED of BIG COUNTRY (Wally the Wacko, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 482): PETE HARNISCH of BOMBAY BUMBLE BEES (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 479): SUPER CHE of DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 477): BULL DURHAM of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 481): VIZZERDRIX of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 478): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 473): TORLEC of WAR HAWKS (Jinx, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 464): QUEUE of NEXT GENERATION (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 463): CARNAL of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 437): BLONDIE of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 428): ZAZU of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 185): EGAN FORN of THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 415): PUDDING PARADE of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 363): REIDI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 172): MICROSOFT of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 160): IMMOVEABLE OBJECT of NOT QUITE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 313): SPENCER of THE BOLT (Hombre, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 137): CONSTANTINE of AGELESS WONDER (Belyn, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 356): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 477): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 362): RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 482): BOMBAY BUMBLE BEES (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 479): DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 477): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 481): SOUL STRIPPERS II (Saucy Jack, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 478): WISH YOU WERE BEER (Alfredo Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 473): THE MENTORS (Dr. Feelgood, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 464): none
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 463): SAUCY MONASTERY (Saucy Jack, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 437): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 428): ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 185): THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 415): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 363): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 172): INDULGENT DRINKS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 160): HANGOVERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 313): SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 137): AGELESS WONDER (Belyn, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 356): THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 481): FUNGARI of THE BALROGS (Poppa Balrog, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 479): SUPER CHE of DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
                           STATIC of PROJECT DARK FIRE (Staplegun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 481): VIZZERDRIX of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 478): <RETARDED RV> of DEAD SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
                           MELANCHOLY of BATHTUB ARMADA (Mannequin, mgr.)
               (turn 477): BAYUSHI KACHIKO of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
                           TOTURI of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                           NUTMEG of SUGAR AND SPICE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 462): CARNIVOROUS CANARY of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 185): EGAN FORN of THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 172): JOEY ABEQ of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 160): IMMOVEABLE OBJECT of NOT QUITE (Crip, mgr.)
              (turn 159): HAMP of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 160): EURO STEAMER of AS SEEN ON TV (Indimar Fallon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 136): ANDRO MEDA of FEARSOME LEGENDS (Brewmaster, mgr.)
                               JARRAC of FREELANCERS (Jinx, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of the Enchanted Tor!

     The direction of challenge has recently become an issue.  I understand that in
Andorak the spyreporter is chastising managers for challenging down.  That's silly.
So I think I'll be equally silly, all right?
     Big events today!  Regrettably only two TV challenges were accepted, but the
long-reigning Mahi Mahi was overthrown by one of them!  Maybe because he did not
write a column.  Last turn I reported that MM had written a column and yet none
appeared; I don't know if the Commission lost it or if I was hallucinating.  This
time, I definitely do not see a column.  So he lost.  There you have it.  Battle-
hardened lunger BARROCH (18-2684) (84-87-1,236) of SHEPHERDS TV challenged the
sensational striker MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (80-58-1,435) of BIG MEAN FISH.  BARROCH
slimly won victory over MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.  You can't
really blame Barroch for challenging up since he was trying to take the Runeblade.
     The other TV challenge was a little embarrassing for he that issued it....
GRIZZLY (74-2710) (41-39-0,257) of TOTEM TV challenged LEE AT TOURNEY (4-3565) (101-
117-1,216) of LETHAL LADIES.  Grizzly was glad he had a TV because Lee was our most
challenged warrior this turn.  But he wasn't quite so happy two minutes later....
GRIZZLY was bested by LEE AT TOURNEY in an exciting 2 minute Challenge duel.  At
least it was a down-challenge.  Lee of course remains our overall popularity leader,
in the absence of Hansel.
     DP Clones and their associated teams (ranked 8th) were most avoided, and it was
That Sucks! (2nd) who avoided them.  Well done.
     In the "wish I hadn't done that" department:  ELI (18-7272) (19-20-3,100) of
SHEPHERDS challenged BASS (5-3666) (46-82-1,142) of JOHNS.  ELI was slaughtered by
BASS in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fray.  Still, Eli can take some pride
in the fact that he fought hard enough to risk his life.  Some "warriors" don't.  On
the other hand, it was an up-challenge so one might say that he got what he deserved.
     Now, our most popular warrior this turn was Patience.  PATIENCE (51-4949) (17-
25-1,62) of MIGHTY MORALS challenged TRUMP (24-4359) (23-18-1,47) of BAD HAND.
PATIENCE was beaten by TRUMP in an exciting 4 minute gory Challenge bout.  I guess
the crowd thought Patience got scummed.
     Who was least favored this turn?  That would be Went to Market.  WENT TO MARKET
(25-4288) (14-7-2,51) of THIS LITTLE PRIGGY fought QUID PRO QUO (10-4794) (22-6-1,83)
of QUBIT.  WENT TO MARKET was buttkicked by QUID PRO QUO in a 1 minute mismatched
conflict.
     Went to Market is pretty unpopular, but actually there were three active
warriors ranked lower this turn.  The lowest ranked is a rather promising newcomer,
Sex on the Beach, who how has only seventeen (17) points after losing to Hockey.  SEX
ON THE BEACH (54-2435) (17-5-3,19) of INDULGENT DRINKS challenged HOCKEY (82-5719)
(13-15-0,52) of CHEAP DENTISTRY.  SEX ON THE BEACH was handily defeated by HOCKEY in
a 1 minute Challenge competition.  Looking at their records, you'd expect Sex to win,
wouldn't you?  Well, it was Sex's challenge and normally I would say it was a brave
try, but at the moment I must point out that it was an up-challenge.  Tsk tsk.
     I'd like to see all of you challenge down next turn.  Let's send a gigantic
Delarquan raspberry out to anybody who says we oughtn't.
                                                         Desiree (not my real name)

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BARROCH 18-2684             85  87  1  253  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BODHISATVA 36-4027          35  24  0  322  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
 SPEEDI 58-3029              88  76  3  274  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 FAT BASTARD 42-3804         45  20  0  260  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 GEO METRO 58-5740           58  60  2  234  COOL WHEELS (943)          DELARQ TOR
 JACK BOY 82-2030            63  49  0  229  ON A WHIM (1014)           DWES EG
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          58  51  0  229  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 MR PIBB 24-4253             50  19  1  229  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 DR NUT 24-4254              42  23  2  228  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 LEE AT TOURNEY 4-3565      102 117  1  225  LETHAL LADIES (768)        JHELUM
 WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        57  29  1  219  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT
 DIERDRE 69-9439             37  35  1  217  FIANADHA (945)             CIMMERIAC
 SYPHILIS 19-3085            83  48  2  214  THAT SUCKS! (1144)         ZUWAYZA
 MAJOR TOM 21-4598           39  31  1  213  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 BUNNY WAILER 3-5356         31  19  0  213  EXODUS! (956)              OSKSI
 MUCKER 42-3596              46  52  1  212  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VOLDRIC THE BLUE 18-6259    57  44  0  210  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 SIR ENE 10-4360             39  23  3  209  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       36  33  1  209  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 FACEMAN 38-4129             38  34  2  208  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      57  55  2  207  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SCHYLER 6-4866              48  78  1  204  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         51  57  2  201  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 ZALTAN 6-4616               54 104  2  200  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       47  31  0  199  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 SMILES 21-3207              25  15  3  198  TROOPERS (1113)            SUNSET
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    49  29  2  197  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 CHICK WITH A STICK 23-4365  39  39  1  197  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899           80  59  1  196  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 TRANQUILITY 36-3765         47  36  3  196  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
 GRIZZLY 74-2710             41  40  0  196  TOTEM (1146)               DAIYLA KIV
 DRUNK AND AT DENNY 82-2255  34  31  2  196  ROCK BOTTOM (1080)         DWES EG
 LUCRETIA BORGIA 4-3563      90 129  0  194  LETHAL LADIES (768)        JHELUM
 COOLER 82-7277              26  11  1  194  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           40  25  0  193  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           38  32  1  192  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 BLINKY 18-2683              71 113  4  191  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 SPLURGE ON WAX LIP 18-6485  49  35  1  191  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 JANET RENO 42-3823          32  31  1  191  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 BRAHMA 97-731               24  28  4  191  ONE SURFING HINDU (1071)   SHADOW GROVE
 HOT 48-3858                 38  38  2  190  OUTSIDE IS (1061)          CAER
 LADY STARDUST 21-4601       45  21  2  189  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 OSCAR THE SLOUCH 82-1316    37  28  3  189  SESAME SPINE (1070)        DWES EG
 RYGEL 18-7142               36  27  0  188  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         46  59  1  187  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SLAYER II 10-2125           32  24  1  186  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 T-BONE 18-3402              31  22  3  186  DEAD EVIL (627)            TALCAMA
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        34  37  1  184  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
 3-7-2-D-S 82-5727           33  25  0  184  FASCINATIN' RYTHYM (1152)  DWES EG
-SILK 5-3342                 30  36  2  184  WORTHLESS MANAGERS (820)   KALTOS
 STORM XCIX 82-14095         19   6  1  184  DEATH STUDS VIII (1086)    DWES EG
-SELENA STEELE 37-2010       42  14  0  182  SOULTHIEVES (416)          SIBIKHAS
 OH WELL 10-2205             26  21  4  182  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 FLOATING SWISS 4-4461       20  12  0  182  THINGSINPUG'SCOOLER (1088) JHELUM

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620    78  91  0  180  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  37  31  0  180  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SID VICIOUS 18-6054         29  23  2  179  THE DARK TEMPLE (978)      TALCAMA
 DARK GUMBY 7-4694           40  26  0  177  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        36  31  0  177  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258   29  16  0  177  MY WIFE'S COSMETICS (1038) DWES EG
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     28  11  0  177  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           36  24  2  171  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI
 MOJO JOJO 10-4643           26  24  2  167  TOWNSVILLAINS (1089)       KOLACT
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         35  26  1  166  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 BASS 5-3666                 47  82  2  165  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 TORNADO 6-2249              24  29  2  162  ACTS OF NATURE (415)       TRANSEL
 SINISTER MIDGET 6-5113      34  40  5  160  LOOK OUT BELOW (1042)      TRANSEL
 SILAS 18-6796               31  55  2  160  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 LUIGI 6-5142                28  29  2  160  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          36  52  1  156  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 EXCREMENTO 51-4968          37  31  1  151  GUANO GROUP (1065)         TRICORUS
 A NEW PONY! 82-1306         15  14  0  151  WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          46 100  6  148  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         28  57  2  147  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 SLEEPLESS PARANOIA 82-2252  11  12  1  138  PARENTHOOD (1122)          DWES EG
 LINK 6-5144                 25  30  2  135  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 THE HUNGER 21-4622          19   6  1  135  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 BEAR 7-4628                 24  30  1  129  BIG BAD (1073)             BONSUR
-STRANGER RANGER 6-2878      24  21  3  127  SOUL STRIPPERS II (412)    TRANSEL
 LIFE 3-4196                 34 118  0  123  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 JOB 18-6129                 18 121  0  111  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         49  52  1  100  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 ELI 18-7272                 19  21  3  100  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          27  14  0   94  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 SLAYER 3 10-2530            23   8  1   91  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 QUID PRO QUO 10-4794        23   6  1   90  QUBIT (1140)               KOLACT
 THE WICKER KING 42-3904     19  16  0   89  FURNITURE BARN (1109)      RODEKI
 BRADEN 6-4867               46  80  0   82  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 THANOS 37-1406              22  28  2   79  NIGHT TRAIN (545)          SIBIKHAS
-FROG SLAYER 21-4021         17  17  0   77  THE GUARDIANS (1156)       SUNSET
 TYRONE 21-1769              28  20  1   76  DWARVEN LEGION (1139)      SUNSET
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        22  13  0   76  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
-MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668     18   6  1   76  SRETSAMLEUD (1134)         SIBIKHAS
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         23  35  1   68  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 TRUMP 24-4359               24  18  1   63  BAD HAND (1125)            ZORPUNT
-MUCS 21-1992                26  13  0   62  SRETSAMLEUD (1133)         SUNSET
-JOHN ASHCROFT 24-4355       16   8  2   62  DOH! (1147)                ZORPUNT
 LUC STARWALKER 58-6100      24  30  0   61  NEXT GENERATION (1075)     DELARQ TOR
 HOCKEY 82-5719              14  15  0   61  CHEAP DENTISTRY (1098)     DWES EG
 ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688           14  12  0   57  NIGHT TRAIN (1158)         TRANSEL

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PATIENCE 51-4949            17  26  1   54  MIGHTY MORALS (1120)       TRICORUS
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      14   8  2   53  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 PROFFESSOR GRIM 10-2613     15  10  0   51  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        16  18  0   50  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
-BOUGHTANDPAID 4 10-4809     15  11  4   41  SRETSAMLEUD (1135)         KOLACT
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    17   6  3   17  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
ELI 18-7272                19  21  3 SHEPHERDS 432          BASS 5-3666            357

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Syphilis -- I'm a GOLEM.  I'm not susceptible to that, dammit. -- Mucker

     Aren't golems made of living flesh?

Silas -- Some days you're the sword, and other days you're the target, eh? -- Tolais
Deepheart

Link -- You wretched GIRAFFE!  What did you do THAT for, you born-dumb BASHER? --
Life of Osksi

John Ashcroft -- Wow, I love fights like that! -- Maginot Mike, real warrior who
strikes blows, and you aren't even a basher

Desiree -- Notice what? -- Debby T.

     Those roots!  Don't be ashamed of what you are!  I, for one, am proud to be a
     brunette!

Assur -- Okay, you got one.  Can you do it when Voldric stays on his feet?  We'll
see.  I had 4 other fights between Voldric and Barroch in my notebook, so as far as
my records go the score is Voldric 4, Barroch 1.  Enjoy, this is fun. -- Doc Steele

     For those following the action here, note that Voldric is currently in the Grand
     Champions and unable to challenge Barroch.  Perhaps he'll pull within range next
     turn.  Wouldn't that make an interesting battle for the title? -- Des

Job -- Perseverance pays.  Well done. -- Quid Pro Quo

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
pests.
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BARROCH slimly won victory over MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
GRIZZLY was bested by LEE AT TOURNEY in a exciting 2 minute Challenge duel.
SYPHILIS overcame SCHYLER in a popular 1 minute Challenge match.
SLAYER II was viciously subdued by BODHISATVA in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
SHOCKING TOAD was savagely defeated by CHICK WITH A STICK in a 3 minute match.
BUUL THE BULL was vanquished by DIERDRE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
LUIGI was overpowered by LUCRETIA BORGIA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
SILAS was overcome by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a action packed 4 minute Challenge melee.
GREE CHAK was vanquished by ZALTAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
MOJO JOJO was vanquished by SPLURGE ON WAX LIPS in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
OH WELL handily defeated TORNADO in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SUE E. SYDE demolished SHINY PENNY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
LINK was subdued by DOC STEELE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
BEAR was beaten by SINISTER MIDGET in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict.
SLAYER 3 was luckily beaten by JOB in a popular 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
ELI was slaughtered by BASS in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fray.
NUMBERED WON was devastated by ROB A. REE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
ARSONIST ART beat MEN WORKING in a 2 minute Challenge match.
PATIENCE was beaten by TRUMP in a exciting 4 minute gory Challenge bout.
SEX ON THE BEACH was handily defeated by HOCKEY in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
LUC STARWALKER was vanquished by BRADEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
WHIRLING DOG overcame BRAHMA in a 1 minute duel.
JACK BOY overcame LARGE SPINNY GUY in a popular 1 minute contest.
T-BONE was demolished by MUCKER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
OSCAR THE SLOUCH was vanquished by MAJOR TOM in a 1 minute one-sided match.
GEO METRO overpowered LADY STARDUST in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SPEEDI won victory over COOLER in a action packed 1 minute bout.
JANET RENO was overcome by WHIRLING WORD in a action packed 1 minute bout.
FAT BASTARD beat SMILES in a action packed 2 minute brutal competition.
MR PIBB defeated BLACK WIDOW in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
SIR ENE handily defeated HOT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
DUSKY JAWFISH overpowered 3-7-2-D-S in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DR NUT overpowered SOLACIA in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH lost to OBSESSIVE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
DARK GUMBY was savagely defeated by DRUNK AND AT DENNYS in a 2 minute match.
TRANQUILITY was overcome by VOLDRIC THE BLUE in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
MISS HONEY handily defeated DR DAZZLE in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
FACEMAN overpowered ETCHED IN STONE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute one-sided duel.
FLOATING SWISS was handily defeated by CLEANER WRASSE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
CHRISTIANITY was savagely defeated by RYGEL in a action packed 3 minute bloody duel.
BUNNY WAILER demolished A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a 2 minute uneven conflict.
SID VICIOUS was bested by BLINKY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gruesome match.
EXCREMENTO was handily defeated by STORM XCIX in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DOC STEELE savagely defeated MAGINOT MIKE in a popular 1 minute gruesome battle.
SLEEPLESS PARANOIA overpowered CAPTURED CUTPURSE in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
A NEW PONY! handily defeated ANGRY BOOKIE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided duel.
THE HUNGER overcame LIFE in a 2 minute brutal bout.
THE WICKER KING subdued THANOS in a 2 minute fight.
WENT TO MARKET was overpowered by QUID PRO QUO in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
TYRONE handily defeated ZOT ZIPZIG in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
PROFFESSOR GRIM demolished COCKY SPECTATOR in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  27         SLASHING ATTACK   50 -  40 -  4      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   16         WALL OF STEEL     78 -  63 -  0      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  13         TOTAL PARRY       57 -  47 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         PARRY-LUNGE       25 -  22 -  0      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         LUNGING ATTACK   146 - 129 -  1      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         STRIKING ATTACK   21 -  23 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         AIMED BLOW        49 -  60 -  0      45  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  16 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    40 -  70 -  4      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 357 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL     12 -  4     AIMED BLOW         4 -  7         7  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  4         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
LUNGING ATTACK    18 -  9     BASHING ATTACK     1 - 12         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0     
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  2     
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   BARROCH 18-2684            85  87  1  253 SHEPHERDS (432)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEO METRO 58-5740          58  60  2  234 COOL WHEELS (943)
WALL OF STEEL    JACK BOY 82-2030           63  49  0  229 ON A WHIM (1014)
SLASHING ATTACK  SYPHILIS 19-3085           83  48  2  214 THAT SUCKS! (1144)
PARRY-STRIKE     BUNNY WAILER 3-5356        31  19  0  213 EXODUS! (956)
TOTAL PARRY      VOLDRIC THE BLUE 18-6259   57  44  0  210 THUNDR + LITENING (309)
AIMED BLOW       FACEMAN 38-4129            38  34  2  208 THE A TEAM (1044)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899          80  59  1  196 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
BASHING ATTACK   BLINKY 18-2683             71 113  4  191 SHEPHERDS (432)

The overall popularity leader is LEE AT TOURNEY 4-3565.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was PATIENCE 51-4949.  The ten other most popular fighters were TRANQUILITY 
36-3765, SLAYER 3 10-2530, SILAS 18-6796, RYGEL 18-7142, BODHISATVA 36-4027, SHOCKING 
TOAD 7-310, CHICK WITH A STICK 23-4365, TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620, FACEMAN 38-4129, 
and LEE AT TOURNEY 4-3565.

The least popular fighter this week was WENT TO MARKET 25-4288.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were EXCREMENTO 51-4968, LADY STARDUST 21-4601, T-BONE 18-3402, SEX 
ON THE BEACH 54-2435, NUMBERED WON 18-7434, BUUL THE BULL 2-4840, MAGINOT MIKE 
4-4509, 3-7-2-D-S 82-5727, HOT 48-3858, and JANET RENO 42-3823.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  TI(23)               1  1 0  CAER(48)             1  1 0  
OSKSI(3)             1  1 0  ZORPUNT(24)          3  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  3 0  
JHELUM(4)            2  2 0  LYRATILAN(25)        0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 1  ARVAT(32)            0  1 0  ANDOR(57)            0  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  5 0  JHANS(36)            2  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       3  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            0  3 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  2 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           5  3 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)         10  7 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       3  0 0  DAIYLA KIV(74)       0  1 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          1  0 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          6  4 0  
SUNSET(21)           3  2 0  RODEKI(42)           4  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        34  37  1  184  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
 BUNNY WAILER 3-5356         31  19  0  213  EXODUS! (956)              OSKSI
 LEE AT TOURNEY 4-3565      102 117  1  225  LETHAL LADIES (768)        JHELUM
 BASS 5-3666                 47  82  2  165  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866              48  78  1  204  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         46  59  1  187  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        57  29  1  219  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT
 BARROCH 18-2684             85  87  1  253  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 SYPHILIS 19-3085            83  48  2  214  THAT SUCKS! (1144)         ZUWAYZA
 MAJOR TOM 21-4598           39  31  1  213  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    49  29  2  197  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 MR PIBB 24-4253             50  19  1  229  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      14   8  2   53  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         28  57  2  147  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 BODHISATVA 36-4027          35  24  0  322  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         51  57  2  201  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 FACEMAN 38-4129             38  34  2  208  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         35  26  1  166  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           36  24  2  171  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI
 FAT BASTARD 42-3804         45  20  0  260  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       47  31  0  199  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        36  31  0  177  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    17   6  3   17  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           40  25  0  193  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 SPEEDI 58-3029              88  76  3  274  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     28  11  0  177  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 DIERDRE 69-9439             37  35  1  217  FIANADHA (945)             CIMMERIAC
 GRIZZLY 74-2710             41  40  0  196  TOTEM (1146)               DAIYLA KIV
 JACK BOY 82-2030            63  49  0  229  ON A WHIM (1014)           DWES EG
 BRAHMA 97-731               24  28  4  191  ONE SURFING HINDU (1071)   SHADOW GROVE