DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 12/13/2003    Duedate: 12/26/2003

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-364

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 DARK PANTHEON 6/643  1134  422  7 72.9      FURNITURE BARN 42/1109                
  2-TACO GODS 40/1171      49   27  2 64.5      LOOK OUT BELOW 6/1042                 
    BAILE BEAG 63/1172                       11 SHAMROCKS 58/424      155  164  3 48.6
    DEATH STUDS VIII 82/1086                 12-BLADES OF ICE 7/192   330  350  2 48.5
    RAINDANCE 51/1106                           BLADES OF CHAOS 5/961                 
  3 PIGS ON PARAD 9/1154  171  130  2 56.8      BLADES OF MIST 4/959                  
    THE GUARDIANS II 18/1155                    ZODIAC KNIGHTS 3/958                  
    THE GUARDIANS 21/1156                    13-AESIR 3/301           213  227  2 48.4
    WORTHLESS MANAGERS 5/820                    TACKLE BOX 37/788                     
  4 PUNCHLINES 82/1115   1424 1166 16 55.0      LOST SWORDS 72/573                    
    WHY WE LOVE TUM 82/1164                     XENOCIDE 69/725                       
    4-LETTER DESCRIPTION 82/1167                HYBORIA 69/747                        
    PARENTHOOD 82/1122                       14 BEAST MASTERS 37/136   99  137  1 41.9
    4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063                      ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
    STREET PIZZA 18/114                         ACTS OF NATURE 6/415                  
    WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114              15 NIGHT TRAIN 37/545     10   14  0 41.7
    SESAME SPINE 82/1070                        NIGHT TRAIN 6/1158                    
    CHEAP DENTISTRY 82/1098                  16 MUSIC TO KIL 96/1119   38   60  0 38.8
    ROCK BOTTOM 82/1080                      17 NINJAS 7/1107          41   65  1 38.7
    FASCINATIN' RYTHYM 82/1152                  RESURRECTION 2/1143                   
  5 EXODUS! 3/956         456  389  3 54.0      GENOCIDE 51/1110                      
    THE DARK TEMPLE 18/978                      KILLERS 41/1145                       
    THE TAO 36/923                           18 CRIMINAL ELE 39/1074   24   40  1 37.5
    FIANADHA 69/945                             INDULGENT DRINKS 54/1153              
    SPIDERS FROM MARS 21/950                 19 DELVERS 42/1000       199  338  1 37.1
  6 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1117  969  8 53.5      DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
  7 QUBIT 10/1140         531  471  2 53.0      GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    ON A WHIM 82/1014                        20 JOHNS 5/927           753 1308 16 36.5
    SIR AGLIO 10/600                            ARROGANCE 18/732                      
  8 THE MENTORS 10/408     44   39  0 53.0      SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
  9 DOH! 24/1147         1483 1318  6 52.9      THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            LETHAL LADIES 4/768                   
    WASTELAND 18/468                            JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069               21 SHEPHERDS 18/432      438  821  8 34.8
    DIABLO TOO 23/1037                          SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          FAMOUS HITTERS 3/1079                 
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         FOUND IN THE SAND 73/1177             
    OUTSIDE IS 48/1061                       22 FLAGG 16 42/352        49  111  1 30.6
    BAD HAND 24/1125                            FLAGG'S FIVE 42/1108                  
    COOL WHEELS 58/943                       23-SADISTS 18/1093         3    7  0 30.0
    DP CLONES 24/1045                        24-4-LETTER STD 82/1175   13   32  0 28.9
    DIABLO ALSO 24/1163                         SUPERIOR FORCES 9N 82/1174            
 10 THE A TEAM 38/1044    600  591  6 50.4      SUPERIOR FORCES 4I 65/1173            
    BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                        SUPERIOR FORCES 1208 82/1176          
    ONE SURFING HINDU 97/1071                   DEAD SUPERIOR FORCES 7/1170           
    GUANO GROUP 51/1065                      25 THUNDERSTRIKE 10/449    0    2  0  0.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Eye of the Storm #70 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the Far West:

     "Roofs?"  Herlas leaned across the rail and peered down into the water.  "I've
heard of the Drowned Land, of course, but I hadn't realized it would be on our
course, and so close to the surface--"
     Ashon Chang grabbed the wizard's belt and hauled him back.  "You can't swim,
remember?  And we aren't stopping here to explore, even if you can.  We have more
important things to do."  He glanced across at Werre.  "As soon as the wind changes,
we should be able to get loose."
     The Adantri nodded.  "Sooner, I think.  You might not realize it, but even here
in the middle of this sea, there are tides, and the tide is rising.  We should float
off any time now."  He frowned at the plain of water around them, and the distant
line of darkness on the horizon that was probably land.  "I just hope we don't hit
any other...roof before we get away from this place."
     "So do we all," Vurand growled.  "Roofs instead of reefs!  Drowned cities!  The
sooner we get our feet back on dry land, the happier I'll be."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     "You could never pass yourself off as Tzaltakkan," Zakar said.  "Your coloring
is wrong--we could fix that, maybe, but your face is the wrong shape, too.  And
everybody in this city who isn't Tzaltakkan by blood is a slave.  Besides, you don't
speak the language."
     Shania Silverstar scowled, already not liking where this seemed to be going.
"There must be, I don't know, traders from other lands?  Travelers--big cities always
have foreign travelers--"
     "Not in Zinaco-Lal.  No foreigner gets into this city as a free man.  Traders
and travelers don't get past the outer harbor and the Foreigners' Quarter.  We're in
the heart of the city here, woman.  And no matter when we leave the shrine, you will
be seen.  Count on it.  So you have to be--to at least look like--something that
won't raise questions.  The slave of someone of true Tzaltakkan blood.  And," he went
on before she could answer, "people will be looking for you.  You specifically--
blonde, fair-skinned.  So we have to make you unmemorable.  As much as possible,
anyway.  So we'll dye your hair black and darken your skin as much as we can, too."
He studied her, frowning.
     Shania could see that now he had forgotten whatever personal pleasure he took in
the thought of her posing as his slave and was considering the practical aspects.
She turned her own thoughts to the practical aspects.  Distasteful as the proposed
ruse was, Zakar was probably right when he said it was the only thing that would work
here and now.  She could change her appearance magically...no, better not.  That
change could be made as well with simple physical means.  Better save what magical
energy she had at the moment for a serious need.  "Soot will do for my hair if you
can't find anything better," she said briskly.  "Red ochre, maybe, for my skin?  And
tea or something like it, to take the white out of this shift."
     He nodded.  "I've got a contact who can get what we'll need."  He smiled without
humor.  "In a brothel."  He moved to the exit from the shrine.  "It shouldn't take me
long to get the stuff.  Stay here and stay out of sight until I get back."
     He was gone before she could utter any of the remarks that sprang to mind, such
as that she was smart enough not to go out and be recognized, and wasn't his servant,
and....
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     It was the tide that finally got their ship off the roof.  Imperceptible so far
from shore, the waters rose.  The only sign of it was the slow drag and the final
lift that freed the vessel.  Though it was late in the day, Werre sent the ship
shoreward--according to their charts, at least--as quickly as possible.  He put
Jammies and Vurand in the bow to watch for other obstacles so long as there was light
enough to see them.  But apparently the tower that had caught them was the tallest
building left in the drowned city.  By sunset, there were no more roofs to be
glimpsed in the water.
     "Some day," Herlas muttered, "I will come back here.  There are spells that
would permit exploration of that which is sunken, if it does not lie to deep.  To be
the first man in millennia to look upon the towers of vanished Melantea...."
     "There are probably lots of western wizards who've dived on these ruins," Ashon
Chang countered.  "Why not?  It's right in their back yard."
     "Never!" the Fratsfan responded immediately.  "The gods could not do that to
me--"
     Vurand's scornful laughter cut across his words.  "Why should the gods care if
you're the first or the ninety-first?"  The Orc squinted at the shore, red hills and
black shadows in the sunset light.  As far east along it as he could see, at the
limit of the light was an area where the shapes of light and shadow were straight-
edged, square-cornered.  "Will we try to reach that city tonight?"
     "No.  Too dangerous to go sailing around here in the dark," Werre answered.
"Rocks, ruins, or reefs, we don't want to hit anything else."

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Dark Federation #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Xochithlan, the royal palace:

     Tirisha Dulake leaned closer to her cousin, King Feyen, and pouted.  "You can't
be so hard hearted, Pootles," she cooed.  "It isn't like I'm asking a LOT from
you...."
     Feyen was too dark skinned to blush noticeably, but he felt himself getting
rather warm under the collar.  "Don't call me that!" he hissed.  [It is a gift in the
royal family of Xochithlan to be able to hiss words which contain no esses.]  "You're
the only one who remembers that Mother used to call me that!  But what if someone
overhears?"  He peered around nervously.  Eavesdropping was the national pastime in
Xochithlan, but he thought his throne room was reasonably secure.  Still, if anyone
heard her say that name....  He shuddered.
     "If you'll give me the soldiers, dearest cousin, I'll be so busy and so far
away, I'm sure I'll forget."
     "But Tirisha, I can't!  If I sent Xochithlani Royal Guardsmen into Mordanti
territory, it could start a war, or at LEAST," he shuddered again, "Samir would send
that battlemage of his to 'make an official protest' and the man has NO sense of
style at all.  His hair, his beard!"  King Feyen stroked his own perfect little
mustache.  "It's impossible, Tirisha, you must see that!"
     "No, it is NOT impossible."  Her coo was getting ragged around the edges,
letting the iron determination show through.  She took a deep breath, noting that,
as with every other man who saw her do that, she had riveted Feyen's attention; after
all, they were only second cousins on one side.  "You don't need to send the whole
Royal Guard.  I'm sure I won't need a thousand men in Rodeki.  It's such a LITTLE
place.  A hundred will be enough to protect me, DEAR Feyen."  She blew in his ear.
     Feyen took his own deep breath and managed not to melt on the spot.  "Well...a
hundred men, then, but no more!  And not in Royal Xochithlani uniform, either!"
     "Of course not, coz."  She patted his arm as she straightened up.  "I wouldn't
want anyone to get the idea they were on YOUR business."  She slid out of reach just
a little ahead of King Feyen's reaching hands.  "You won't have any trouble at all
over this, dear coz."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Arenamaster Xoron, a practitioner of the Ancient Elvish Martial Art of Seelie-
Khuei, was deeply resistant to feminine wiles.  He was, however, extremely interested
in cash.  Tirisha had plenty of cash.
     "I guess I could find you a few gladiators to serve as a personal bodyguard," he
muttered, mentally fingering the coins Tirisha had placed on the table between them.
"I couldn't vouch for their reliability, though."
     "I will attend to that," Tirisha said briskly.  "Twenty ounces of gold for every
gladiator you can find me.  Payable when they sign up."

Warriors and managers are invited to accompany Tirisha Dulake to Rodeki, or wherever
she may end up going.  A note in the personals addressed to Scribe, or an email to
Livia@reality.com will do it.

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                      Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade

Fellow Lord Protectors,

     First allow me to express my extreme pleasure at holding the Runeblade!
Yeeeeeeeesssss!!!  This is a first for a warrior from any Flagg branded stable.  This
makes all the ass whoopin's and the occasional (it's happened twice) unpleasant
resurrection all worthwhile.  It's taken 12+ years to get here, enduring all the life
changing events in Flagg's life, but damn it was worth it!  I don't really know what
the future holds for me, but I'll be here for at least a little while longer, so
let's see how long I can retain the Runeblade.  If I should never hold it again, at
least I can say that I have held it once.
     On a more serious note, I would like to petition the Commission to allow me to
go help our fellow Lord Protectors at the Gate, if they would allow it and if I am
needed.  We should all take a moment to pause and remember these brave warriors and
thank them for the sacrifices they are making to once again keep us safe from all
sorts of nasties.
     My challenges go out to warriors who I think I should be able to beat, perhaps
if I am here next turn it will go to the highest rated below me.

                                                        Doone

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of Darkholm!

     Blades of Ice (12) were avoided by Criminal Element (18).  It was a wasted
avoid, since the Blades guild didn't even fight this turn.  Doone, our Keeper of the
Runeblade, was most challenged.  BUUL THE BULL (2-4840) (38-39-1,216) of RESURRECTION
challenged DOONE (42-1183) (45-41-2,304) of FLAGG 16.  BUUL THE BULL was devastated
by DOONE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.  You know, according to
their statistics the mismatch was not that bad, but Doone wrote a column and I'm sure
that helped to get him psyched up to win.  Um, the fact that it was a lunger beating
a basher might have helped, as well.
     Oh dear, there were no (zero) Tournament Victor challenges.  One can only
suppose that Darkholm's many Tournament Victors suffered a fit of Andorian-style
"sportsmanship" and decided not to use their well-earned advantage.
     There were also no (zero) kills.  This is carrying sportsmanship quite a lot too
far, don't you think?
     Poor Arsonist Art remains at the very bottom of the rankings.  He is trying to
rise, though.  ARSONIST ART (39-3325) (23-18-0,35) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged
CONSTANCE (42-3875) (19-19-2,58) of FLAGG'S FIVE.  ARSONIST ART lost to CONSTANCE in
a 2 minute Challenge duel.  It was a likely challenge, but unfortunately it failed.
However, Art, if you will keep trying I am sure you will make it up out of the pits.
     Our overall popularity leader is Speedi, same as last turn.  WHIRLING WORD (48-
3815) (52-32-0,225) of 4-LETTER WORDS fought SPEEDI (58-3029) (92-78-3,194) of
SHAMROCKS.  WHIRLING WORD defeated SPEEDI in an action packed 3 minute gory duel.  I
guess that perhaps Speedi will hold that title until the next split.  That's all
right.  He's no Hansel but I've got to admit he's got some breath-taking moves.
     This week's scum sympathy vote went to Life, who actually resisted the spell of
exhaustion.  JOB (18-6129) (21-122-0,146) of SHEPHERDS challenged LIFE (3-4196) (35-
123-0,139) of GAMES LIBRARY.  JOB was savagely defeated by LIFE in an action packed 9
minute Challenge melee.
     And the "What were you thinking when you signed up to be a gladiator?" award
goes to Thunder, who perhaps showed up for his fight with a hangover or something.
MEN WORKING (38-4189) (24-40-1,35) of JUST BECAUSE fought THUNDER (10-1897) (16-17-
1,66) of THUNDERSTRIKERS.  MEN WORKING demolished THUNDER in a 1 minute mismatched
match.  Well, Thunder, I hope you picked up some skills at least.
     This was a shortie but you know, I think I've covered everything but the advice.
The roads may be slippery out there so please equip your horses with cleated shoes
and don't ask them to go too fast or change directions too sharply.
     When our next turn rolls around I too will be rolling (on the road), so I extend
my best and warmest wishes to you and your families now.  May the new year bring you
health and happiness.

                                                                          Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOONE 42-1183               46  41  2  315  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SLAYER II 10-2125           39  24  1  302  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
-MAUI WAUI 40-3518           33  16  0  283  TACO GODS (1171)           ZENSU
 DIERDRE 69-9439             42  36  1  267  FIANADHA (945)             CIMMERIAC
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    55  30  2  249  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
-MANUS 63-1783               56  23  1  240  BAILE BEAG (1172)          AMEN-TEI
 SID VICIOUS 18-6054         34  24  2  240  THE DARK TEMPLE (978)      TALCAMA
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       53  32  0  238  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      61  58  2  237  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 BODHISATVA 36-4027          40  25  0  228  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
-DEORNE 7-2529               69  51  1  221  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 LADY STARDUST 21-4601       49  23  2  220  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 COOLER 82-7277              29  15  1  219  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 DR NUT 24-4254              45  27  2  217  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
-SALIEL 3-5485               58  46  1  216  ZODIAC KNIGHTS (958)       OSKSI
 TRANQUILITY 36-3765         50  39  3  213  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
 JACK BOY 82-2030            67  52  0  211  ON A WHIM (1014)           DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       39  37  1  208  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 CHICK WITH A STICK 23-4365  42  43  1  206  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         38  30  1  206  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         53  62  2  205  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 RYGEL 18-7142               41  29  0  204  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 SCHYLER 6-4866              50  83  1  200  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 FACEMAN 38-4129             43  36  2  200  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 SPEEDI 58-3029              92  79  3  199  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
-RAZOX 7-2400                74  53  1  198  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 SPLURGE ON WAX LIP 18-6485  51  40  1  198  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         49  63  1  198  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
-STORM XCIX 82-14095         20   8  1  198  DEATH STUDS VIII (1086)    DWES EG
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899           86  60  1  196  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620    82  94  0  196  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           42  35  1  196  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 OSCAR THE SLOUCH 82-1316    39  31  3  196  SESAME SPINE (1070)        DWES EG
-JANAE 5-3867                52  42  3  195  BLADES OF CHAOS (961)      KALTOS
 MUCKER 42-3596              48  57  1  195  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 GEO METRO 58-5740           62  63  2  194  COOL WHEELS (943)          DELARQ TOR
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           45  27  0  193  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 SIR ENE 10-4360             42  27  3  193  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 BUNNY WAILER 3-5356         34  22  0  192  EXODUS! (956)              OSKSI
 BRAHMA 97-731               29  30  4  192  ONE SURFING HINDU (1071)   SHADOW GROVE
-ENDER 69-1066               26  23  4  192  XENOCIDE (725)             CIMMERIAC
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          61  55  0  191  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  41  34  0  191  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        40  34  0  191  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        38  40  1  191  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
-ZOLTAN 72-1483              19   7  1  190  LOST SWORDS (573)          DRAGONHEAD
 DARK GUMBY 7-4694           43  30  0  189  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 JANET RENO 42-3823          34  36  1  188  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 LA KILLER 42-1333           28  45  5  188  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI
-RENAE 7-4304                56  40  3  187  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          40  55  1  187  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 BLINKY 18-2683              74 115  4  185  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 MR PIBB 24-4253             53  23  1  185  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SINISTER MIDGET 6-5113      38  43  5  184  LOOK OUT BELOW (1042)      TRANSEL
 THE WICKER KING 42-3904     24  18  0  183  FURNITURE BARN (1109)      RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     32  14  0  182  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SLEEPLESS PARANOIA 82-2252  15  14  1  181  PARENTHOOD (1122)          DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAJOR TOM 21-4598           42  34  1  180  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 SILK 5-3342                 30  37  2  180  WORTHLESS MANAGERS (820)   KALTOS
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          31  17  1  176  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 OH WELL 10-2205             29  25  4  174  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 TORNADO 6-2249              27  33  2  174  ACTS OF NATURE (415)       TRANSEL
-KALIDOR 69-2314             21  23  0  173  HYBORIA (747)              CIMMERIAC
 IRON HEAD LEE 18-6563       13   3  0  172  THE GUARDIANS II (1155)    TALCAMA
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           39  28  2  170  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI
 3-7-2-D-S 82-5727           34  31  0  169  FASCINATIN' RYTHYM (1152)  DWES EG
 DRUNK AND AT DENNY 82-2255  34  38  2  166  ROCK BOTTOM (1080)         DWES EG
 A NEW PONY! 82-1306         17  19  0  166  WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG
-RAMZA 7-4340                53  33  2  165  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 HORRIBLE POSSESSION 6-4997  33  13  0  163  DARK PANTHEON (643)        TRANSEL
 EXCREMENTO 51-4968          39  36  1  162  GUANO GROUP (1065)         TRICORUS
 HOT 48-3858                 41  42  2  160  OUTSIDE IS (1061)          CAER
-HULA POPPER 37-2986         22  16  0  155  TACKLE BOX (788)           SIBIKHAS
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          51 102  6  153  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
-TOWER 7-4461                37  19  1  153  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 LIFE 3-4196                 36 123  0  151  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BASS 5-3666                 50  86  2  150  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 LUIGI 6-5142                28  34  2  150  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
-CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306    27  11  1  148  RAINDANCE (1106)           TRICORUS
-THRENODY 4-4557             33  32  1  146  BLADES OF MIST (959)       JHELUM
 THE HUNGER 21-4622          21  10  1  141  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 JOB 18-6129                 21 123  0  140  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        26  13  1  138  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         52  56  1  135  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 RODEKI RAMBLER 42-1158      35  50  0  132  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI
 IMALUZER 42-1251            26  42  2  131  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI
-QUID PRO QUO 10-4794        26   8  1  122  QUBIT (1140)               KOLACT
 HOCKEY 82-5719              17  18  0  120  CHEAP DENTISTRY (1098)     DWES EG
 HAIR LIP! 82-3261           14   6  1  120  PUNCHLINES (1115)          DWES EG
 THANOS 37-1406              25  32  2  118  NIGHT TRAIN (545)          SIBIKHAS
 TAPS 96-841                 16  12  5  110  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS
-HAGAR 3-3717                20   3  0  106  AESIR (301)                OSKSI

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-PORK CHOP 9-3878            12   5  1  100  PIGS ON PARADE (1154)      ZUKAL
 PROFESSOR GRIM 10-2613      21  11  0   97  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 SLAYER 3 10-2530            26  12  1   95  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RAW SEX APPEAL 82-1331      11   4  0   90  WHY WE LOVE TUM (1164)     DWES EG
 TRUMP 24-4359               28  21  1   86  BAD HAND (1125)            ZORPUNT
 BRADEN 6-4867               49  84  0   78  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688           17  16  0   78  NIGHT TRAIN (1158)         TRANSEL
-SUNGOD'S FOLLY 18-7199      19  10  3   75  SADISTS (1093)             TALCAMA
 UGLY 82-14501                8   9  0   75  4-LETTER DESCRIPTION (1167 DWES EG
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    20  45  2   72  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
-REDEMPTION 4-4868           22  14  1   71  BLADES OF MIST (959)       JHELUM
 FROG SLAYER 21-4021         18  18  0   67  THE GUARDIANS (1156)       SUNSET
 THE MAN 3-6077              16  10  1   66  FAMOUS HITTERS (1079)      OSKSI
-THUNDER BUG 37-3734         15   9  0   64  TACKLE BOX (788)           SIBIKHAS
-TYR 3-5575                  18   3  0   63  AESIR (301)                OSKSI
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         25  40  1   62  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CONSTANCE 42-3875           20  19  2   61  FLAGG'S FIVE (1108)        RODEKI
-SUNGLASSES 73-3223          13  10  1   50  FOUND IN THE SAND (1177)   ERINIKA
 JOHN ASHCROFT 24-4355       18  12  2   49  DOH! (1147)                ZORPUNT
 B.A. TURRY 39-3383          14  13  1   46  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 HUGE TWIRLING MAN 24-4457   18  10  0   45  DIABLO ALSO (1163)         ZORPUNT
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    19  11  3   43  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 THUNDER 10-1897             16  18  1   40  THUNDERSTRIKERS (449)      KOLACT
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        23  19  0   36  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Christianity -- Not me!  I can't convert, I'm a golem and have no soul.  Not a
chance. -- Mucker

Tranquility -- Odd, you don't ACT tranquil. -- Tolais Deepheart

Tornado -- Wow, you're a forceful woman!  I'm impressed. -- Maginot Mike

Rob A. Ree -- (hissing with fury)  I've been ROBBED! -- Life of Osksi
P.S.  Just what I'd expect from an ELF.

2 December 2003
ZalCon2, ZalCon Reloaded
Where:  Jhelum, DM 4
When:  February 9th or 23rd, 2003 (TBA when Mail In date set)
How Long:  20 Turns

Restrictions:  Zero FE at start of contest.  Must announce warrior styles by second
arena fight to receive points.  No prize modified warriors.  No entry to July Face,
No TV Challenges.  All prizes to be used exclusively on warriors from the contest
team only.

Awards:
     First Initiate Duelmaster (FID):  First warrior announced in the contest to
          reach the throne.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, increasing damage for 1 warrior by one rating to
          max for ST/SZ.
     Warrior MVP:  Top warrior based on MVP points accrued in the contest.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge for any warrior on team, +1
          to bonus in any skill area up to max for style for 1 warrior on team, 2
          nights stay at Winter FTF Hotel.
     Team MVP:  Top Team based on MVP points accrued in contest by all the teams
          warriors.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge, +1 to Bonus, 6 Months Free
          Play, 20 Rollups.
     Warrior MVP Top 11:  Next 10 warriors on MVP list at the end of the contest.
     Prize:  +1 to Bonus
     Style Master:  Top warrior in each style based on Style Master points accrued in
          the contest.
     Prize:  Favorites Knowledge of any warrior on team.
     Iron Manager Award:  Minimum 95 fights in contest by any team.
     Prize:  Choice of free entry for team to 2005 Winter Face or +1 to Bonus for one
          warrior.

MVP Point System:  +1 for Win, Fight, Kill, Recognition Leader (after Round 3), -1
Death, +2 Duelmaster, +2 each 3 Consecutive turns as DM, +1 Quality Win (any win over
opponent with 5 or more Rec), +1 for each 10 Rec points over 5 in win (+1 for 5-14

above, +2 for 15-24 above, +3 for 25-34 above).
Style Master Point System:  +2 Style Master, +1 Win vs. Same Style Opponent, +1 Win
vs. Same Style Master, +1 for 3 Consecutive Turns as Style Master (rolling).

     Please direct any question about rules or clarifications to me, Robert
Occhipinti, via Diplo to DM74, 1988 Dodgers or email to zalgor@hotmail.com.  All
rules decisions made by me are final and binding within the confines of this contest.

8 December 2003
Greetings!  I would like to invite everyone to Jhans (DM 36) for the first annual kLk
St. Valentine's Day Massacre (kill contest).  We will start the contest off with the
ceremonial burning of the Andorian flag on turn 450.  (Six turns away.  Roughly mid-
February.)  The contest will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461, 3 separate victors will
be announced.  Team with the most kills, warrior with the most kills, and alliance
with the most kills.  Prizes will be awarded to the manager of the team with the most
kills and to the manager of the warrior with the most kills.  The prizes will
probably be team roll-ups.  The number of roll-ups has yet to be determined.  The
contest is sponsored by Jhans' newest, (but by the time the contest starts) largest
alliance, the kLk (pronounced "klick"). -- Polarius, mgr. of Blitzkrieg DM 36

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BUUL THE BULL was devastated by DOONE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
BLINKY was demolished by DUSKY JAWFISH in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
LA KILLER was bested by OBSESSIVE in a popular 1 minute Challenge contest.
SUE E. SYDE savagely defeated GEO METRO in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
ROB A. REE lost to SHOCKING TOAD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.
TAPS was overpowered by MAGINOT MIKE in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
JOB was savagely defeated by LIFE in a action packed 9 minute Challenge melee.
ARSONIST ART lost to CONSTANCE in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
WHIRLING WORD defeated SPEEDI in a action packed 3 minute gory duel.
BRAHMA was overpowered by DIERDRE in a 1 minute uneven match.
CHRISTIANITY was savagely defeated by CHICK WITH A STICK in a exciting 5 minute fight.
SLAYER II bested BUNNY WAILER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.
DR DAZZLE was demolished by SID VICIOUS in a popular 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
MISS HONEY was handily defeated by CLEANER WRASSE in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
BODHISATVA devastated JANET RENO in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
MAHI MAHI was devastated by LARGE SPINNY GUY in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
LADY STARDUST defeated BLACK WIDOW in a exciting 2 minute brutal bout.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH was beaten by TRANQUILITY in a popular 1 minute match.
RYGEL handily defeated SILK in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
ETCHED IN STONE was overpowered by JACK BOY in a exciting 2 minute gory uneven fight.
MAJOR TOM slimly lost to TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a action packed 3 minute bloody duel.
SPLURGE ON WAX LIPS defeated THE WICKER KING in a 2 minute gory match.
OSCAR THE SLOUCH was overpowered by DR NUT in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
MR PIBB was vanquished by COOLER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
SCHYLER vanquished 3-7-2-D-S in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SIR ENE overcame TORNADO in a action packed 2 minute brutal bout.
FACEMAN handily defeated SHEWISH GIANT in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
DARK GUMBY vanquished A NEW PONY! in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MUCKER overpowered DRUNK AND AT DENNYS in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
HORRIBLE POSSESSION overpowered HAIR LIP! in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
GREE CHAK was subdued by DOC STEELE in a action packed 1 minute contest.
HOT was overpowered by SLEEPLESS PARANOIA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided struggle.
SINISTER MIDGET devastated LUIGI in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
EXCREMENTO was luckily beaten by SHEWISH GIANT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
OH WELL vanquished DOC STEELE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
IRON HEAD LEE overpowered RODEKI RAMBLER in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
IMALUZER lost to THE HUNGER in a 2 minute match.
MIMIC BLENNY overpowered HOCKEY in a 1 minute uneven battle.
THANOS was vanquished by BASS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
ZOT ZIPZIG lost to TRUMP in a popular 1 minute conflict.
PROFESSOR GRIM devastated HUGE TWIRLING MAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
UGLY handily defeated JOHN ASHCROFT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.
RAW SEX APPEAL overpowered WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
SEX ON THE BEACH was viciously subdued by THE MAN in a popular 2 minute gruesome bout.
B.A. TURRY was overpowered by FROG SLAYER in a 1 minute uneven competition.
MEN WORKING demolished THUNDER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SLAYER 3 overpowered BRADEN in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  32         WALL OF STEEL     92 -  71 -  0      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         LUNGING ATTACK   169 - 132 -  2      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         PARRY-LUNGE       30 -  27 -  0      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       43 -  40 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         SLASHING ATTACK   45 -  49 -  2      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-STRIKE      14 -  16 -  0      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         STRIKING ATTACK   25 -  29 -  1      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         AIMED BLOW        49 -  63 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         BASHING ATTACK    41 -  74 -  1      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   4 -  0       0  |

Turn 364 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL     10 -  2     AIMED BLOW         4 -  7         6  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    18 - 14     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         1  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   DOONE 42-1183              46  41  2  315 FLAGG 16 (352)
WALL OF STEEL    SLAYER II 10-2125          39  24  1  302 THE MENTORS (408)
AIMED BLOW       LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361   55  30  2  249 DIABLO TOO (1037)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             29  15  1  219 STYROFOAM (1090)
TOTAL PARRY      DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978      39  37  1  208 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-STRIKE     SHOCKING TOAD 7-310        49  63  1  198 NINJAS (1107)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899          86  60  1  196 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEO METRO 58-5740          62  63  2  194 COOL WHEELS (943)
BASHING ATTACK   BUUL THE BULL 2-4840       38  40  1  191 RESURRECTION (1143)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TAPS 96-841                16  12  5  110 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)

The overall popularity leader is SPEEDI 58-3029.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LIFE 3-4196.  The ten other most popular fighters were MAJOR TOM 21-4598, CHICK 
WITH A STICK 23-4365, CHRISTIANITY 51-4965, SPEEDI 58-3029, JACK BOY 82-2030, BLACK 
WIDOW 37-1303, TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620, DR NUT 24-4254, SUE E. SYDE 39-3240, and 
LADY STARDUST 21-4601.

The least popular fighter this week was THUNDER 10-1897.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were B.A. TURRY 39-3383, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, HUGE TWIRLING MAN 
24-4457, HOCKEY 82-5719, DRUNK AND AT DENNYS 82-2255, SILK 5-3342, MAHI MAHI 18-4899, 
BRAHMA 97-731, BRADEN 6-4867, and RAW SEX APPEAL 82-1331.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  TI(23)               2  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  2 0  
OSKSI(3)             2  1 0  ZORPUNT(24)          2  3 0  TROCAR(54)           0  1 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  JHANS(36)            2  1 0  ANDOR(57)            0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  2 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  2 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  4 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        2  1 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  0 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       1  3 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           5  1 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          5  6 0  
TALCAMA(18)          8  5 0  RODEKI(42)           4  5 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           3  1 0  CAER(48)             1  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        38  40  1  191  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
 BUNNY WAILER 3-5356         34  22  0  192  EXODUS! (956)              OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         52  56  1  135  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 SILK 5-3342                 30  37  2  180  WORTHLESS MANAGERS (820)   KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866              50  83  1  200  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         49  63  1  198  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 SLAYER II 10-2125           39  24  1  302  THE MENTORS (408)          KOLACT
 SID VICIOUS 18-6054         34  24  2  240  THE DARK TEMPLE (978)      TALCAMA
 LADY STARDUST 21-4601       49  23  2  220  SPIDERS FROM MARS (950)    SUNSET
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    55  30  2  249  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 DR NUT 24-4254              45  27  2  217  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 BODHISATVA 36-4027          40  25  0  228  THE TAO (923)              JHANS
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         53  62  2  205  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 FACEMAN 38-4129             43  36  2  200  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         38  30  1  206  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           39  28  2  170  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI
 DOONE 42-1183               46  41  2  315  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       53  32  0  238  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        40  34  0  191  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    19  11  3   43  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           45  27  0  193  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 SPEEDI 58-3029              92  79  3  199  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     32  14  0  182  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 DIERDRE 69-9439             42  36  1  267  FIANADHA (945)             CIMMERIAC
 COOLER 82-7277              29  15  1  219  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 TAPS 96-841                 16  12  5  110  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 BRAHMA 97-731               29  30  4  192  ONE SURFING HINDU (1071)   SHADOW GROVE