DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL Date : 04/03/2004 Duedate: 04/16/2004 DARKHOLM DM-104 TURN-372 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1-TACO GODS 40/1171 64 28 2 69.6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 BAILE BEAG 63/1172 9 SHAMROCKS 58/424 161 166 3 49.2 RAINDANCE 51/1106 10-KIDS GONE BAD 3/446 17 20 0 45.9 DEATH STUDS VIII 82/1086 11 CRIMINAL ELE 39/1074 45 59 1 43.3 2 MYTH AND MIGHT 2/163 187 135 2 58.1 INDULGENT DRINKS 54/1153 THE GUARDIANS 21/1156 12 BEAST MASTERS 37/136 110 152 1 42.0 PIGS ON PARADE 9/1154 ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423 GUARDIAN'S SLAVES 42/1157 ACTS OF NATURE 6/415 THE GUARDIANS II 18/1155 KREWE OF DRUID 6/1186 3 SRETSAMLEUD 18/1183 10 8 1 55.6 13 NINJAS 7/1107 56 81 1 40.9 SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134 RESURRECTION 2/1143 4 BELLYFLOP 82/1097 1458 1201 16 54.8 KILLERS 41/1145 WHY I PLAY DM 82/1116 GENOCIDE 51/1110 PARENTHOOD 82/1122 14 SAND KINGS 69/1118 45 67 0 40.2 WHY WE LOVE TUM 82/1164 TERRAPIN STATION 10/616 4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063 MUSIC TO KILL BY 96/1119 STREET PIZZA 18/114 15 NIGHT TRAIN 37/545 16 25 0 39.0 MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/1038 NIGHT TRAIN 6/1158 SESAME SPINE 82/1070 16 DELVERS 42/1000 212 357 1 37.3 WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114 DOGS OF WAR 4/999 CHEAP DENTISTRY 82/1098 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 LUST MUPPETS 32/1036 17 JOHNS 5/927 771 1354 16 36.3 4-LETTER DESCRIPTION 82/1167 SCARRY TEAM 36/824 PUNCHLINES 82/1115 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917 5 CEMENTIA 61/1112 1542 1334 6 53.6 ARROGANCE 18/732 DP CLONES 24/1045 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069 18 BIG BAD 7/1073 458 861 8 34.7 DIABLO TOO 23/1037 SHEPHERDS 18/432 WASTELAND 18/468 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162 WASTELAND II 7/500 NEXT GENERATION 18/1150 COOL WHEELS 58/943 NEXT GENERATION 58/1075 FLAT BROKE 82/1184 SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067 6 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1120 974 8 53.5 FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034 7 QUBIT 10/1140 544 480 2 53.1 MIGHTY MORALS 51/1120 ON A WHIM 82/1014 19 FLAGG 16 42/352 58 118 1 33.0 SIR AGLIO 10/600 FLAGG'S FIVE 42/1108 8 THE A TEAM 38/1044 626 617 6 50.4 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Dark Federation #5 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + Rodeki: There were just the four of them, or five if you counted Adabemis & Balmador as two separate people, which Sue E. Syde didn't. Not much of an army to arrest a governor. And just because "Princess Tirisha wants it done." What did the woman expect them to DO? It was beginning to look like Adabemis & Balmador wasn't the only crazy person around. She glanced at her companions and wondered if there was any point in commenting on this. Not to the Dwarf with his two personalities, although if one or the other didn't happen to like Tirisha.... No, not to him, or them. And she had a good idea that Captain Shirivien already knew it and didn't care, at least, not enough to run counter to Tirisha's commands. And her teammate Rob A. Ree...she shook her head. Better just to keep quiet for now. The streets of Rodeki were quiet, too. Very few people were out, and they were keeping close to the sides of buildings and fading down alleys at first sight of the group from Xochithlan. Expecting trouble, Sue guessed. The governor's palace in Rodeki was not as impressive as Sue had expected. Large, yes, but so...ordinary. It looked more like an office building than it did a palace. It was built against the side of the mountain that closed in Rodeki on the north, maybe even built back into the mountain, and it went up three stories with a sort of tower climbing higher back along the slope. There were no majestic pillars, no statues in niches (no niches), and only one balcony. And it was grubby. The stone might have been light-colored originally, but years of the smelter smoke that sometimes filled the valley had turned it blotched dark brown and sooty black. Tirisha wasn't going to like this place at all; Sue E. Syde couldn't imagine her living in it. But that wasn't today's problem. Today's problem was taking it away from Governor Milvares. Who wasn't likely to be taken by surprise.... One side of the big double door opened as the gladiators and Sirivien started up the steps. She didn't recognize the man who came out--a Kannar, late middle age, looked like a man used to wielding authority. It might be the governor himself. When they were close enough to hear him without shouting, he said, "Why have you come here?" The gladiators instinctively looked toward Captain Shirivien. "On the order of our lady, Princess Tirisha of Xochithlan," he said. "She has commanded us to arrest Governor Milvares." "On what grounds?" The man's voice was still calm, but there was steel in it. Shirivien hesitated. "The Princess has not offered us explanation. It is not our place to question, only to obey." A voice from overhead said, "We could drop things on them from here, even though we don't have proper stuff like boiling lead." Sue glanced up. There was a short woman in a Dwarven helmet on the balcony. A tall man in arena-issue mail came up behind her. "Not yet, Gate Witch." He added something that the people on the steps couldn't hear, but the Dwarven woman grinned and punched him on the arm. The man in the doorway reclaimed their attention, saying, "Your princess would be better served if the people around her asked for explanations and offered advice. She would be wise to return to Xochithlan." "Are you threatening Princess Tirisha?" Adabemis or Balmador demanded. "No, I'm offering her sound advice. It would be a good move for her to leave Rodeki. She has no place here." "It sounds like a threat to ME." That was definitely Balmador, the more hostile of the two personalities. "If you think in terms of threats," the man said, "all things sound like threats." Balmador opened his mouth to make a retort, but She and Shirivien moved in on him from either side, and Sue put a hand over his mouth. "Your advice may be good," she said, "but we have our orders." The man made a sort of half bow and stepped back, pulling the door closed behind him. From the balcony, Gate Witch said, "NOW can we drop things on them, John?" "I thought you were looking forward to fighting them in the halls," the man replied. "If you drop things on them now, they'll never make it into the halls. Which might not be a bad thing, when one comes to think about it...." "Spoilsport!" Both gladiators on the balcony withdrew, and pulled that door shut behind them also. Rob A. Ree, whose many flaws did not include major stupidity, looked at the closed door of the palace, and at the windows on either side, which were fifteen feet above the ground in front of them and barred, and said, "Anybody got a pocket battering ram?" "I thought we were supposed to be able to just walk in," Adabemis added. "Now what?" * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 492): WISPER of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 377): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 493): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 496): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 493): DIGGER WASP of FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS (Flagg, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 479): SCOURGE of THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 478): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 452): HALO 14 of BLIND HYPOCRISY (Jekyll, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 443): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 430): GATE WITCH of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 378): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 179): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 167): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 328): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 144): CONSTANTINE of AGELESS WONDER (Belyn, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 371): DOONE of FLAGG 16 from RODEKI (Flagg, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 492): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 377): RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 497): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 493): THE DREIHDENS 2 (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 492): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 496): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 493): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 488): MEGAWARRIORS (Matrix, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 479): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 478): CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 452): KAMIKAZI (?, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 443): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 430): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 378): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 179): none DM 59 ILLIS (turn 167): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 328): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 144): none ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 371): LEGENDS OF STEELE (Doc Steele, mgr.) Recent Graduates ----------------- DM 3 OSKSI (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 479): SCOURGE of THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.) PAUL of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.) (turn 478): WONDER BRA of THE GUARDIANS II (Guardian, mgr.) BOOTER of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 477): SONJA BLOODBANE of THE BLOODBANES (Stik, mgr.) THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade Darkholm, It feels good to once again hold the Runeblade in my hands. I don't ever want to part with it again. Perhaps when I depart for Primus I will take it with me? We'll see.... Faceman, do yourself a favor and sit out this next Grand Tournament. You have no chance of winning it. I, on the other hand, plan to represent Darkholm and Rodeki in the most glorious fashion. I plan on being the Tournament Champion in the Eligibles class and now that I have the Runeblade back, it will make the effort all the easier. Maui Waui, since you are so obviously worried about chipping your pretty nails, both of my challenges went to you. We'll settle once and for all who is the current best lunger in Darkholm. Doone REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Brothers and Sisters in the Dark Federation, DOONE (42-1183) (56-43-5,273) of FLAGG 16 fought SLEEPLESS PARANOIA (82-2252) (20-16-1,229) of PARENTHOOD. DOONE defeated SLEEPLESS PARANOIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Title conflict. I'm sorry to observe that Doone's challenges to Maui Waui went unanswered as MW took this turn off. Too bad. However, Doone, thank you for writing a column and good luck getting your challenge next turn! There was just one TV challenge this turn and our Tournament Victor was triumphant. GEO METRO (58-5740) (68-69-3,192) of COOL WHEELS TV challenged ROLEX WATCH (32-3732) (46-40-1,210) of LUST MUPPETS. GEO METRO devastated ROLEX WATCH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. No one was killed. Tsk. A lot of people avoided our first-ranked team (Raindance et al), which was a shame since that guild didn't come to the fights this turn and so the avoids were wasted. Too bad. I hope to see Raindance here next turn. Other guilds avoided were the fifth (Wasteland et al), the 10th (Kids Gone Bad), the 18th (Next Generation et al) and the 18th (Flagg's 5 et al). Our most challenged warrior was Braden. You can see why: from his record, he looks like he would teach a lot of skills and then lose. MY1STADMWARRIOR (37-4668) (22-7-1,97) of SRETSAMLEUD challenged BRADEN (6-4867) (54-86-0,96) of THE LADY'S LIST. MY1STADMWARRIOR beat BRADEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict. Short fight. I wonder if My1st had a chance to learn anything. I'm sorry to observe that Men Working remains at the bottom of the warrior rankings. MW, hang in there and keep challenging and using your avoids. You'll move up. NUMBERED WON (18-7434) (19-24-0,59) of NEXT GENERATION challenged MEN WORKING (38-4189) (26-46-1,35) of JUST BECAUSE. NUMBERED WON overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. Our overall popularity leader is still Speedi, who managed to win his fight this turn. CYCLOPS (7-4625) (25-25-1,168) of BIG BAD challenged SPEEDI (58-3029) (97-81- 3,195) of SHAMROCKS. CYCLOPS was viciously subdued by SPEEDI in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel. Well done, Speedi. There was no "scum sympathy" vote this turn. This turn's most popular warrior was Zot Zipzig. SUPER BUM (82-18411) (16-9-0,71) of FLAT BROKE fought ZOT ZIPZIG (6- 5688) (19-21-0,56) of NIGHT TRAIN. SUPER BUM was viciously subdued by ZOT ZIPZIG in a exciting 4 minute bloody struggle. However, there was a "scum antipathy" vote as a couple of defensive warriors made an afternoon of it. ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (38- 19-1,234) of CEMENTIA fought A DIFFERENT GRAPE (82-1258) (38-25-1,190) of MY WIFE'S COSMETICS. People in the crowd had time to go home, get some over-ripe fruits and veggies, and bring them back. The gate attendant isn't supposed to let in anyone with vegetables, but I think he thought it was well deserved. ETCHED IN STONE, the crowd's least favorite warrior this turn, viciously subdued A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a sloppy, squishy 36 minute gruesome bout. Oh dear, is that all? Have I run out of things to talk about? All right. Advice: Just because you have to get up early, don't always go to bed when you're supposed to. You've got to have some fun sometimes, and we all know you can have more fun at midnight than 7 p.m. Desiree (not my real name) KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY DOONE 42-1183 57 43 5 281 FLAGG 16 (352) RODEKI GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -MAUI WAUI 40-3518 37 16 0 348 TACO GODS (1171) ZENSU -MANUS 63-1783 60 23 1 295 BAILE BEAG (1172) AMEN-TEI IRON HEAD LEE 18-6563 18 3 0 261 THE GUARDIANS II (1155) TALCAMA MAHI MAHI 18-4899 92 62 1 245 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 39 19 1 240 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE DR NUT 24-4254 52 33 2 235 DP CLONES (1045) ZORPUNT DARK GUMBY 7-4694 52 34 1 223 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361 64 33 5 218 DIABLO TOO (1037) TI GREE CHAK 41-3859 45 29 2 218 KILLERS (1145) KATI-TEI JACK BOY 82-2030 72 55 0 217 ON A WHIM (1014) DWES EG -STORM XCIX 82-14095 23 9 1 214 DEATH STUDS VIII (1086) DWES EG DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 42 42 1 213 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY GEO METRO 58-5740 69 69 3 210 COOL WHEELS (943) DELARQ TOR OBSESSIVE 58-2447 46 39 1 209 ELEMENTS OF PSI (423) DELARQ TOR MUCKER 42-3596 53 60 1 206 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI COOLER 82-7277 32 20 1 203 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG SUE E. SYDE 39-3240 42 34 1 202 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN KILLER KARCH 69-5668 17 8 2 202 SAND KINGS (1118) CIMMERIAC DARK ORIGIN 42-2770 27 17 0 201 GUARDIAN'S SLAVES (1157) RODEKI WHIRLING WORD 48-3815 59 38 1 200 4-LETTER WORDS (1063) CAER SLEEPLESS PARANOIA 82-2252 20 17 1 200 PARENTHOOD (1122) DWES EG DAVID CARUSO 82-2269 20 9 1 200 BELLYFLOP (1097) DWES EG ZAGNUT 10-4745 35 9 4 198 TERRAPIN STATION (616) KOLACT SPEEDI 58-3029 98 81 3 197 SHAMROCKS (424) DELARQ TOR CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 66 61 2 197 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA CHRISTIANITY 51-4965 43 39 0 197 GENOCIDE (1110) TRICORUS SHOCKING TOAD 7-310 52 68 1 193 NINJAS (1107) BONSUR TORNADO 6-2249 30 38 2 193 ACTS OF NATURE (415) TRANSEL SIR ENE 10-4360 47 30 3 192 SIR AGLIO (600) KOLACT ROB A. REE 39-3241 34 22 1 192 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN SPLURGE ON WAX LIP 18-6485 57 47 3 191 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541 31 16 1 191 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA OSCAR THE SLOUCH 82-1316 40 33 3 190 SESAME SPINE (1070) DWES EG A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258 38 26 1 190 MY WIFE'S COSMETICS (1038) DWES EG FACEMAN 38-4129 47 40 2 189 THE A TEAM (1044) CLIFFHOME ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 46 41 1 186 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT BLACK WIDOW 37-1303 57 66 2 184 BEAST MASTERS (136) SIBIKHAS RYGEL 18-7142 44 38 1 183 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 85 99 0 182 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI UGLY 82-14501 10 15 0 182 4-LETTER DESCRIPTION (1167 DWES EG -HOCKEY 82-5719 20 22 0 181 CHEAP DENTISTRY (1098) DWES EG GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CHICK WITH A STICK 23-4365 53 47 2 179 DIABLO TOO (1037) TI SCHYLER 6-4866 52 89 1 179 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL -HAIR LIP! 82-3261 15 12 1 179 PUNCHLINES (1115) DWES EG GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BUUL THE BULL 2-4840 41 45 1 178 RESURRECTION (1143) NIANIA BEDLAM'S BARD 2-4144 29 23 2 177 MYTH AND MIGHT (163) NIANIA -ANTAGONIST 3-2824 22 19 2 176 KIDS GONE BAD (446) OSKSI DOC STEELE 18-6808 42 61 1 175 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 55 61 1 174 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM CYCLOPS 7-4625 25 26 1 174 BIG BAD (1073) BONSUR THE SCREAMING FANS 82-6495 12 5 1 171 WHY I PLAY DM (1116) DWES EG -CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306 31 11 1 165 RAINDANCE (1106) TRICORUS TAPS 96-841 20 16 5 165 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119) OLD VALAMANTIS MISS HONEY 36-4850 63 61 0 164 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS THANOS 37-1406 28 37 2 163 NIGHT TRAIN (545) SIBIKHAS DOC STEELE 18-6010 53 108 6 160 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA QUID PRO QUO 10-4794 29 11 1 160 QUBIT (1140) KOLACT LINK 6-5144 26 39 2 159 SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 43 40 0 155 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA DR DAZZLE 57-4485 56 30 2 152 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR BASS 5-3666 53 91 2 151 JOHNS (927) KALTOS GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY A NEW PONY! 82-1306 21 28 0 150 WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG LIFE 3-4196 38 129 0 147 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI PORK CHOP 9-3878 14 7 1 142 PIGS ON PARADE (1154) ZUKAL SILAS 18-6796 36 60 2 138 SHEPHERDS (432) TALCAMA -MISS B HAVIN 3-3023 18 15 4 133 KIDS GONE BAD (446) OSKSI LUIGI 6-5142 30 39 2 131 SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL MR PIBB 24-4253 65 26 3 126 DP CLONES (1045) ZORPUNT ELI 18-7272 21 29 3 126 SHEPHERDS (432) TALCAMA SHINY PENNY 32-3789 31 64 2 124 FOUND IN THE SAND (1034) ARVAT PEGASUS 6-4161 24 26 1 122 KREWE OF DRUID (1186) TRANSEL -BORGUS BASHIMUS 58-6097 21 29 1 121 NEXT GENERATION (1075) DELARQ TOR BEAR 7-4628 25 38 1 112 BIG BAD (1073) BONSUR -FROG SLAYER 21-4021 22 18 0 104 THE GUARDIANS (1156) SUNSET MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668 23 7 1 103 SRETSAMLEUD (1134) SIBIKHAS GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 22 9 1 100 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 24 14 3 98 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR BRADEN 6-4867 54 87 0 95 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856 20 14 4 91 SRETSAMLEUD (1183) TALCAMA GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY RAW SEX APPEAL 82-1331 14 7 0 90 WHY WE LOVE TUM (1164) DWES EG WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 20 18 2 88 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN ARSONIST ART 39-3325 28 22 0 87 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN LUC STARWALKER 58-6100 30 34 0 81 NEXT GENERATION (1075) DELARQ TOR STERLING 42-3950 20 15 3 80 FLAGG'S FIVE (1108) RODEKI ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688 20 21 0 76 NIGHT TRAIN (1158) TRANSEL HE HATE ME 18-7820 19 16 2 74 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA -PAUL 18-7804 20 13 0 73 SHEPHERDS (432) TALCAMA -MINOR THREAT 3-3108 21 7 2 69 KIDS GONE BAD (446) OSKSI WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 21 52 2 68 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME B.A. TURRY 39-3383 18 17 1 67 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN ASHANTI 6-5352 19 26 4 64 KREWE OF DRUID (1186) TRANSEL -DELAPP 6-5686 19 14 0 64 NIGHT TRAIN (1158) TRANSEL NUMBERED WON 18-7434 20 24 0 63 NEXT GENERATION (1150) TALCAMA SUPER BUM 82-18411 16 10 0 59 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG -PATIENCE 51-4949 19 31 1 52 MIGHTY MORALS (1120) TRICORUS PROBLEMATIC 42-3928 22 19 0 44 FLAGG'S FIVE (1108) RODEKI MEN WORKING 38-4189 26 47 1 31 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Assur -- I'm glad you're back, not because of bashers (which I can hardly be accused of picking on), but because you brighten up every arena you play in by virtue of taking the time to write personals. -- Sultan Maginot -- You sure know how to draw the line! -- Quid Pro Quo Large Spinny Guy -- Ouch. Just one hit. That's all I needed, damn it. Well fought. -- Black Widow Manus -- Short, but not sweet. Ouch. -- Mucker Link -- Have you no RESPECT for tradition? You are supposed to LOSE to me, for I am the PERFECTLY CREATED!. -- Life of Osksi, a bit off his feed this morning or he would have provided a better harangue Cleaner Wrasse -- So why aren't you out cleaning something? -- Maginot Mike P.S. Oh...right. You cleaned my clock. Taps -- And taps were all I meant to give you, too. A tap here, a tap there.... -- Tolais Deepheart Desiree -- That wasn't, you know, me. That was the golem, and who CARES about the golem, anyway? -- Debby Tonte I do. They have feelings. And they look very realistic. For all Peon Necromancer knew, it was the real Debby Tonte. -- Desiree 5 March 2004 Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer The years have slipped by and many DM Managers have come and gone since the last Hammer's Handbook was compiled and printed. There is now a stirring within me to begin writing and editing yet another Handbook with a distribution date sometime in 2005. This Handbook will be made available via Email with a possibility of burning the info to a CD for distribution. Special arrangements will be made to provide the information via printed page to those contributors who are serving sentences behind bars. The working title of this new Handbook is "Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer". Distribution of this Handbook is projected to be MAINLY for those DM Managers who contribute information/articles to Hammer by June 2004. Informative and entertaining articles should focus on insights regarding Any or All 10 Style Masters for both the Basic and ADM arenas as well as Tourney competition. Articles focusing on Weapons/Armor are also encouraged for inclusion. Whether you are a Newbie Manager without a clue or a Jaded Veteran; everyone has discovered something about this gaming experience that is both Insightful and Entertaining. Email Your Articles to HammerDM@fastermail.com or send them via Diplo to either Flower Hammerz (372) in DM 28 or Casino Hammerz (576) in DM 33. Length and Content of the Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer will be Determined by the Quality and Quantity of Contributors Combined with the Literary Efforts of Hammer who is currently overseas for an indefinite period of time. Articles Contributed for this Project should be of Sufficient Length and Content to Warrant being Included to Receive the Finished Document when Hammer has completed this literary work to His satisfaction. Managers contributing articles are also requested to include a DM Bio of Themselves along with any Notable Successes and/or Failures during Their DM Career in Basic, ADM and/or Tourney Play. A listing of Active Stables would also be Helpful for Anyone Seeking to Reply to Contributors via Diplo, Email or Snailmail. May Your Blades Be Sharp And Your Wits Sharper! -- Hammer of Flower Hammerz (372) DM 28 and Casino Hammerz (576) DM 33 18 March 2004 St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start. We are also pleased to announce that in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills. The contest is only 2 turns old and is still wide open. There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill each. Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena. On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to challenge the kLk dominance. We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their supposed home arena. But, they were a no show. Guess they proved what they are really made of. *evil grin* Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge. We are throwing down the gauntlet. Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance. If you don't show up, Chaos, don't feel bad. FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but have chosen to pass on the offer. So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM 36. We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a storyline being actively worked on in the arena. Whatever you like about DM you can find it in JHANS. Bookie mgr. of Suicidal Dreams and Director Jhans Board of Tourism kLk Alliance 27 March 2004 This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its ranks. He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member. May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days! Welcome CHEETO!! 27 March 2004 Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"? There were some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed. To obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used. The "Goat" is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember, "The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for." I hope this stops the confusion. -- Goat LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS GEO METRO devastated ROLEX WATCH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. GREE CHAK handily defeated SIR ENE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match. SHOCKING TOAD was devastated by LARGE SPINNY GUY in a 1 minute Challenge contest. SUE E. SYDE was defeated by JACK BOY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge match. ROB A. REE lost to DUSKY JAWFISH in a 1 minute Challenge fight. TAPS viciously subdued LIFE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody Challenge match. CHICK WITH A STICK overpowered LINK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee. CYCLOPS was viciously subdued by SPEEDI in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel. BUUL THE BULL vanquished ELI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. LUIGI was overpowered by THANOS in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. DR DAZZLE demolished SILAS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition. BEAR was demolished by MR PIBB in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match. MY1STADMWARRIOR beat BRADEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict. PEON NECROMANCER defeated STERLING in a 2 minute Challenge duel. NEOSPHINCTER defeated ARSONIST ART in a action packed 3 minute Challenge struggle. NUMBERED WON overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. SEX ON THE BEACH devastated LUC STARWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. B.A. TURRY was overpowered by WENT TO MARKET in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. DOONE defeated SLEEPLESS PARANOIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Title conflict. ETCHED IN STONE viciously subdued A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a slow 36 minute gruesome bout. MAHI MAHI demolished ZAGNUT in a 1 minute uneven bout. CLEANER WRASSE lost to OBSESSIVE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fray. IRON HEAD LEE defeated WHIRLING WORD in a popular 3 minute match. DARK GUMBY savagely defeated TORNADO in a exciting 1 minute gory duel. DR NUT vanquished SPLURGE ON WAX LIPS in a 1 minute one-sided fight. UGLY was demolished by DARK ORIGIN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided melee. MIMIC BLENNY savagely defeated SCHYLER in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray. COOLER vanquished TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout. DAVID CARUSO won victory over FACEMAN in a 1 minute fray. BLACK WIDOW was overpowered by KILLER KARCH in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. OSCAR THE SLOUCH overpowered HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a 1 minute one-sided bout. MUCKER savagely defeated QUID PRO QUO in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray. CHRISTIANITY vanquished MAGINOT MIKE in a 2 minute mismatched fight. BEDLAM'S BARD subdued MISS HONEY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match. BASS was overpowered by THE SCREAMING FANS in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray. RYGEL demolished DESIREE in a action packed 2 minute gory one-sided conflict. A NEW PONY! was narrowly defeated by DOC STEELE in a popular 1 minute bloody duel. DOC STEELE demolished SHINY PENNY in a 1 minute uneven competition. PORK CHOP overpowered PEGASUS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight. SUPER BUM was viciously subdued by ZOT ZIPZIG in a exciting 4 minute bloody struggle. ASHANTI was vanquished by RAW SEX APPEAL in a 1 minute one-sided conflict. HE HATE ME devastated DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match. WORK IN PROGRESS handily defeated PROBLEMATIC in a popular 5 minute one-sided match. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 29 WALL OF STEEL 68 - 43 - 0 61 | |WALL OF STEEL 11 LUNGING ATTACK 170 - 115 - 1 60 | |BASHING ATTACK 11 SLASHING ATTACK 43 - 45 - 0 49 | |AIMED BLOW 8 AIMED BLOW 34 - 37 - 0 48 | |SLASHING ATTACK 8 STRIKING ATTACK 19 - 25 - 0 43 | |TOTAL PARRY 6 TOTAL PARRY 24 - 32 - 0 43 | |PARRY-LUNGE 4 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 21 - 0 38 | |STRIKING ATTACK 3 PARRY-STRIKE 9 - 16 - 0 36 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 BASHING ATTACK 29 - 55 - 0 35 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 - 15 - 0 25 | Turn 372 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-LUNGE 4 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 5 4 LUNGING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 4 2 SLASHING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 9 2 WALL OF STEEL WALL OF STEEL 7 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 1 STRIKING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 17 - 12 1 TOTAL PARRY AIMED BLOW 4 - 4 1 AIMED BLOW TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK DOONE 42-1183 57 43 5 281 FLAGG 16 (352) STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 92 62 1 245 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TOTAL PARRY ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 39 19 1 240 CEMENTIA (1112) WALL OF STEEL DARK GUMBY 7-4694 52 34 1 223 WASTELAND II (500) AIMED BLOW LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361 64 33 5 218 DIABLO TOO (1037) SLASHING ATTACK GREE CHAK 41-3859 45 29 2 218 KILLERS (1145) PARRY-LUNGE GEO METRO 58-5740 69 69 3 210 COOL WHEELS (943) PARRY-STRIKE SHOCKING TOAD 7-310 52 68 1 193 NINJAS (1107) BASHING ATTACK BUUL THE BULL 2-4840 41 45 1 178 RESURRECTION (1143) PARRY-RIPOSTE TAPS 96-841 20 16 5 165 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119) The overall popularity leader is SPEEDI 58-3029. The most popular warrior this turn was ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688. The ten other most popular fighters were SUE E. SYDE 39-3240, NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317, MUCKER 42-3596, JACK BOY 82-2030, SPEEDI 58-3029, IRON HEAD LEE 18-6563, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, TAPS 96-841, CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495, and OBSESSIVE 58-2447. The least popular fighter this week was ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112. The other ten least popular fighters were A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258, SHINY PENNY 32-3789, HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977, SPLURGE ON WAX LIPS 18-6485, B.A. TURRY 39-3383, MEN WORKING 38-4189, BEAR 7-4628, ELI 18-7272, SHOCKING TOAD 7-310, and ASHANTI 6-5352. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K NIANIA(2) 2 0 0 ZORPUNT(24) 2 0 0 CAER(48) 0 1 0 OSKSI(3) 0 1 0 LYRATILAN(25) 1 0 0 TRICORUS(51) 1 0 0 JHELUM(4) 0 1 0 ARVAT(32) 0 2 0 TROCAR(54) 1 0 0 KALTOS(5) 0 1 0 JHANS(36) 0 1 0 ANDOR(57) 1 0 0 TRANSEL(6) 1 7 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 2 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 3 1 0 BONSUR(7) 1 3 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 2 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 0 4 0 CIMMERIAC(69) 1 0 0 KOLACT(10) 0 3 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 6 5 0 TALCAMA(18) 11 5 0 RODEKI(42) 3 3 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0 TI(23) 2 0 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BUUL THE BULL 2-4840 41 45 1 178 RESURRECTION (1143) NIANIA LIFE 3-4196 38 129 0 147 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 55 61 1 174 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM BASS 5-3666 53 91 2 151 JOHNS (927) KALTOS TORNADO 6-2249 30 38 2 193 ACTS OF NATURE (415) TRANSEL DARK GUMBY 7-4694 52 34 1 223 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR PORK CHOP 9-3878 14 7 1 142 PIGS ON PARADE (1154) ZUKAL ZAGNUT 10-4745 35 9 4 198 TERRAPIN STATION (616) KOLACT IRON HEAD LEE 18-6563 18 3 0 261 THE GUARDIANS II (1155) TALCAMA LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361 64 33 5 218 DIABLO TOO (1037) TI DR NUT 24-4254 52 33 2 235 DP CLONES (1045) ZORPUNT WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 20 18 2 88 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 46 41 1 186 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT MISS HONEY 36-4850 63 61 0 164 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS BLACK WIDOW 37-1303 57 66 2 184 BEAST MASTERS (136) SIBIKHAS FACEMAN 38-4129 47 40 2 189 THE A TEAM (1044) CLIFFHOME SUE E. SYDE 39-3240 42 34 1 202 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN GREE CHAK 41-3859 45 29 2 218 KILLERS (1145) KATI-TEI DOONE 42-1183 57 43 5 281 FLAGG 16 (352) RODEKI WHIRLING WORD 48-3815 59 38 1 200 4-LETTER WORDS (1063) CAER CHRISTIANITY 51-4965 43 39 0 197 GENOCIDE (1110) TRICORUS SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 24 14 3 98 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR DR DAZZLE 57-4485 56 30 2 152 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR GEO METRO 58-5740 69 69 3 210 COOL WHEELS (943) DELARQ TOR ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 39 19 1 240 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE KILLER KARCH 69-5668 17 8 2 202 SAND KINGS (1118) CIMMERIAC JACK BOY 82-2030 72 55 0 217 ON A WHIM (1014) DWES EG TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY TAPS 96-841 20 16 5 165 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119) OLD VALAMANTIS NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS) For those of you who keep track of such things, 14 additional warriors graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament: ABE SIMPSON (9-4453) SPRINGFIELD PB-LEAD (23-4385) ROCK-ETTS IV RATTLESNAKE SHAKE (60-4242) METAL MELTDOWN CHIP (60-4413) RESCUE RANGERS SLAKE (82-12993) WORD OF THE DAY DIS-COMBOBULATE (63-2222) DIS-TEAM RETARD (68-7501) POLITICALLYINCORRECT DARKSIDE (22-2714) LOST SOULS 1 ZHARRA TYL MEDAN (40-2586) SUPERIOR FORCES SMOOGIE (82-2247) STREET PIZZAD III ARATHEA (13-3318) THE ELITE PX (82-14364) SUPERIOR FORCES 1203 MIKE, POWERFUL (82-7051) MIKE THE HUNTER DIS-FUNCTIONAL (63-2223) DIS-TEAM -- Green Eyes