DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 04/17/2004    Duedate: 04/30/2004

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-373

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1137  423  7 72.9    9 SRETSAMLEUD 18/1183    10   10  1 50.0
  2-TACO GODS 40/1171      64   28  2 69.6      SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134                   
    BAILE BEAG 63/1172                       10 SHAMROCKS 58/424      161  167  3 49.1
    RAINDANCE 51/1106                        11 INDULGENT DR 54/1153   48   61  1 44.0
    DEATH STUDS VIII 82/1086                    CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074              
  3-MYTH AND MIGHT 2/163  187  135  2 58.1   12 KIDS GONE BAD 3/446    17   23  0 42.5
    THE GUARDIANS 21/1156                    13 BEAST MASTERS 37/136  112  155  1 41.9
    PIGS ON PARADE 9/1154                       ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
    GUARDIAN'S SLAVES 42/1157                   ACTS OF NATURE 6/415                  
    THE GUARDIANS II 18/1155                    KREWE OF DRUID 6/1186                 
  4 BELLYFLOP 82/1097    1462 1202 16 54.9   14 SAND KINGS 69/1118     47   68  0 40.9
    WHY I PLAY DM 82/1116                       TERRAPIN STATION 10/616               
    PARENTHOOD 82/1122                          MUSIC TO KILL BY 96/1119              
    WHY WE LOVE TUM 82/1164                  15 NINJAS 7/1107          57   84  1 40.4
    4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063                      RESURRECTION 2/1143                   
    STREET PIZZA 18/114                         GENOCIDE 51/1110                      
    MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/1038                 KILLERS 41/1145                       
    SESAME SPINE 82/1070                     16 NIGHT TRAIN 37/545     16   27  0 37.2
    WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114                 NIGHT TRAIN 6/1158                    
    CHEAP DENTISTRY 82/1098                  17 DELVERS 42/1000       212  361  1 37.0
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                        DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    4-LETTER DESCRIPTION 82/1167                GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    PUNCHLINES 82/1115                       18 JOHNS 5/927           773 1360 16 36.2
  5 CEMENTIA 61/1112     1552 1337  6 53.7      SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188                     THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    DP CLONES 24/1045                           ARROGANCE 18/732                      
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    DIABLO TOO 23/1037                       19 BIG BAD 7/1073        465  864  8 35.0
    WASTELAND 18/468                            SHEPHERDS 18/432                      
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          NEXT GENERATION 18/1150               
    COOL WHEELS 58/943                          NEXT GENERATION 58/1075               
  6 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1121  974  8 53.5      SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
  7 QUBIT 10/1140         545  482  2 53.1      FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    ON A WHIM 82/1014                           MIGHTY MORALS 51/1120                 
    SIR AGLIO 10/600                         20-FLAGG 16 42/352        58  118  1 33.0
  8 THE A TEAM 38/1044    630  619  6 50.4      FLAGG'S FIVE 42/1108                  
    BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                  

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                   Delarquan Edition

Valamantis:

     Ka D'Argo looked at his crew of "explorers" and shrugged.  They were a motley
bunch, drawn from several teams, managers, and arenas, people he'd found passing
through Valamantis on their way from one place to another.  Mostly from the arenas
where they were fighting--most of them were still in Basic--to some holiday spot for
a week's recreation.  Most people assumed that gladiators always stayed home,
practicing relentlessly, but that was the way to dull your edge, not improve it.  He
glanced at Arenamistress Sitalva, but she shook her head slightly.  It was his show,
apparently.
     He took a breath and began.  "You see the towers of Old Valamantis, raised by
blood sorcery."
     Everyone turned to look.
     Smeds of The Black Company, Mordant, sniffed dismissively.  "Second class
stonework," he declared.  The Dwarf's gesture took in needle-thin towers webbed
together with bridges like dreams.  "Not really stonework at all; that's built with
magic.  Was built with magic in the beginning."
     "Stupid," agreed Shamu (The Watchmen, Cliffhome).  The two Dwarves nodded at
each other.  "Unreliable.  Not like good honest stones that stay up whether you're
paying attention to them or not."
     Goblin (The Taken, Kaltos) frowned at the no-longer-ruined city.  "You mean
somebody's got to pay attention to that all the time, or it falls down?" he asked in
a voice like gravel grinding together.
     "Not EXACTLY," murmured Lavender Lance (Colour Guards, Illis).  Quickly, before
the two Dwarves could protest, she added, "In principle, yes, quite possibly.  But
nothing is EVER that simple.  What I've heard--I'm no mage, but there's always talk
of magic on Illis, you understand--is that a spell can be put into a THING, like,
well...like the sound is in a bell, maybe.  Or like the light is in a candle.  Under
the right circumstances, it comes out without anybody having to think about it right
THEN, and it keeps on existing as long as the circumstances last.  I suppose I'm
explaining that very BADLY, but--"
     "But we follow it well enough," Sputter (Joka Masher, Dwes Eg, Lord Protector)
finished.  "So there might be a THING that we could break and the towers would fall
down, hmm?"
     "Bringing the towers down again might be a good thing," Ka D'Argos interjected,
"but it won't solve the problem here, even if we could find the right spell-holders
to destroy.  That won't get rid of the people."
     "Zombies," Groblin growled contemptuously.
     "Not entirely," Sitalva said.  "We haven't gone into the old city, but we've
watched it closely, and there are some people who don't appear to be undead."
     "How can you tell?" Smeds demanded.  "Just because somebody's not falling apart
doesn't mean he isn't a NEW zombie."
     "There are live and potent Folstrom wizards in the old city," a new voice said.
The pleasant tenor seemed to come out of empty air but was quickly followed by a man
in a dark blue robe spangled with silver stars, his hair bound back from his youthful
face by a silver band.  He bowed slightly.  "Tensekai," he introduced himself, "known 
here as the Silver Mage.  Bringing down the towers without first destroying the
Folstrom would be futile, a waste of energy.  And not easy, either, as the spells
that uphold the towers are well guarded.  The important thing is that this situation,
unnatural and abominable as it is, gives us a chance to undo a great error out of the
past.  We can destroy the Folstrom this time, rather than merely driving them off."
     "Correct me if I'm wrong," Lavender Lance murmured, batting her eyelashes at the
mage, "but I HAVE read a little history.  I thought the Folstrom weren't destroyed
because it wasn't possible?  They were too strong for the Forces of Good to bring
them down completely."
     Tensekai nodded unhappily.  "That's true.  But we've had three millennia to
study further.  We have new arts and new allies to bring to the battle this time."
     "And what might the Folstrom have learned in three thousand years?" Ka D'Argos
asked.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 493): SMEDS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 493): SOUL CATCHER of THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 489): HOLY BULL of THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 453): HALO 14 of BLIND HYPOCRISY (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): YANKEE DAN of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 379): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 372): DOONE of FLAGG 16 from RODEKI (Flagg, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 493): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): PURPLE AND GOLD (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 493): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 489): THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 453): KAMIKAZI (?, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 379): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 372): TACO GODS, etc. (The Sentinel, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
              (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           JERICO of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
               (turn 479): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): DAWNRACER of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of Darkholm!

     Time is very short for writing my report this turn and for once it is not my
fault. So I will be quite brief.
     No one was killed.  I suppose we don't need to have someone killed every time.
     I hope Doone did well in the tourney.  Unfortunately due to travel difficulties
to and from that competition, he was not able to be here to defend his title.  As the
highest ranked warrior who remained in town for the fights, Mahi Mahi found himself
in the title fight.  SHOCKING TOAD (7-310) (52-68-1,193) of NINJAS challenged
devastatingly powerful striker MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (92-62-1,245) of BIG MEAN FISH.
Former top parry-striker SHOCKING TOAD was clobbered by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute
Challenge Title brawl.  Well done, MM!
     There were two TV challenges this weekend.  Geo Metro of Cool Wheels beat Jack
Boy of On a Whim in 2 minutes.  Dr. Dazzle of Pepper Practice II beat Bass of Johns
in 1 minute.
     The guild ranked second this turn (Raindance et al) was avoided 12 times, mostly
by Assur's warriors.  The guild ranked 11th (Criminal Element et al) was avoided 8
times.  And Assurnasirbanipal's guild, ranked 19th, was avoided 5 times.  There were
a few other avoids.
     WENT TO MARKET (25-4288) (20-18-2,88) of THIS LITTLE PRIGGY managed to get his
challenge though to our most sought-after warrior, BRADEN (6-4867) (54-87-0,95) of
THE LADY'S LIST.  WENT TO MARKET vanquished BRADEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge
fray.
     Our overall popularity leader, Speedi, had to coast a bit on the crowd's
goodwill today.  It wasn't one of his more exciting fights.  SPEEDI (58-3029) (98-81-
3,197) of SHAMROCKS fought WHIRLING WORD (48-3815) (59-38-1,200) of 4-LETTER WORDS.
SPEEDI was overpowered by WHIRLING WORD in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
     It wasn't a scum sympathy vote!  Black Widow was this week's favorite warrior on
the strength of a thrilling battle in which she lost her shirt.  RYGEL (18-7142) (44-
38-1,183) of WASTELAND fought BLACK WIDOW (37-1303) (57-66-2,184) of BEAST MASTERS.
RYGEL was savagely defeated by BLACK WIDOW in an exciting 4 minute gruesome melee.
     Oh no, they did it again.  Our least and second least popular warriors this turn
pulled another long yawner.  ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (39-19-1,240) of CEMENTIA
fought A DIFFERENT GRAPE (82-1258) (38-26-1,190) of MY WIFE'S COSMETICS.  ETCHED IN
STONE savagely defeated A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a tiresome 37 minute gory duel.
     Men Working is having an unusually long wait at the bottom of the ranks.  MW,
you're getting challenged because based on your record you look like you would be
easy to beat.  Maybe you should take some control back and issue your own challenges,
if you are not already trying to do so.  LUC STARWALKER (58-6100) (30-34-0,81) of
NEXT GENERATION challenged MEN WORKING (38-4189) (26-47-1,31) of JUST BECAUSE.  LUC
STARWALKER vanquished MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
     That, my friends, is that.  I hope the next fortnight is a prosperous interval
for you all.

                                                      Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899           93  62  1  254  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MAUI WAUI 40-3518           37  16  0  348  TACO GODS (1171)           ZENSU
-MANUS 63-1783               60  23  1  295  BAILE BEAG (1172)          AMEN-TEI
-DOONE 42-1183               57  43  5  281  FLAGG 16 (352)             RODEKI
-IRON HEAD LEE 18-6563       18   3  0  261  THE GUARDIANS II (1155)    TALCAMA
 DR NUT 24-4254              53  33  2  246  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     40  19  1  245  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    65  33  5  231  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           47  39  1  229  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 GEO METRO 58-5740           70  69  3  227  COOL WHEELS (943)          DELARQ TOR
 COOLER 82-7277              33  20  1  222  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       60  38  1  219  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 KILLER KARCH 69-5668        18   8  2  217  SAND KINGS (1118)          CIMMERIAC
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         43  34  1  215  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-STORM XCIX 82-14095         23   9  1  214  DEATH STUDS VIII (1086)    DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        44  39  0  205  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 ZAGNUT 10-4745              36   9  4  204  TERRAPIN STATION (616)     KOLACT
-DARK ORIGIN 42-2770         27  17  0  201  GUARDIAN'S SLAVES (1157)   RODEKI
-SLEEPLESS PARANOIA 82-2252  20  17  1  200  PARENTHOOD (1122)          DWES EG
-DAVID CARUSO 82-2269        20   9  1  200  BELLYFLOP (1097)           DWES EG
 FACEMAN 38-4129             48  40  2  199  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 SPLURGE ON WAX LIP 18-6485  58  47  3  197  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        32  16  1  197  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 JACK BOY 82-2030            72  56  0  196  ON A WHIM (1014)           DWES EG
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      66  62  2  196  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SIR ENE 10-4360             48  30  3  196  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 SPEEDI 58-3029              98  82  3  195  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         58  66  2  195  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 MUCKER 42-3596              53  61  1  195  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         47  41  1  195  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         52  69  1  194  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 DARK GUMBY 7-4694           52  35  1  193  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           45  30  2  193  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI
 CHICK WITH A STICK 23-4365  54  47  2  192  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       42  43  1  192  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
-OSCAR THE SLOUCH 82-1316    40  33  3  190  SESAME SPINE (1070)        DWES EG
 A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258   38  27  1  190  MY WIFE'S COSMETICS (1038) DWES EG
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          34  23  1  187  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 TORNADO 6-2249              30  39  2  187  ACTS OF NATURE (415)       TRANSEL
-UGLY 82-14501               10  15  0  182  4-LETTER DESCRIPTION (1167 DWES EG
 RYGEL 18-7142               44  39  1  181  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-HOCKEY 82-5719              20  22  0  181  CHEAP DENTISTRY (1098)     DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        41  46  1  180  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
 ANTAGONIST 3-2824           22  20  2  180  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
-HAIR LIP! 82-3261           15  12  1  179  PUNCHLINES (1115)          DWES EG
-BEDLAM'S BARD 2-4144        29  23  2  177  MYTH AND MIGHT (163)       NIANIA
 SCHYLER 6-4866              52  90  1  174  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
-CYCLOPS 7-4625              25  26  1  174  BIG BAD (1073)             BONSUR
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620    85 100  0  172  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          64  61  0  171  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         55  62  1  171  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
-THE SCREAMING FANS 82-6495  12   5  1  171  WHY I PLAY DM (1116)       DWES EG
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  44  40  0  169  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          54 108  6  168  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 SILAS 18-6796               37  60  2  167  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 QUID PRO QUO 10-4794        29  12  1  166  QUBIT (1140)               KOLACT
 TAPS 96-841                 20  17  5  166  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS
-CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306    31  11  1  165  RAINDANCE (1106)           TRICORUS
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           57  30  2  163  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 A NEW PONY! 82-1306         22  28  0  163  WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THANOS 37-1406              28  38  2  150  NIGHT TRAIN (545)          SIBIKHAS
 LINK 6-5144                 26  40  2  150  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 BASS 5-3666                 53  92  2  148  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          42  62  1  146  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 LIFE 3-4196                 38 130  0  142  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
-PORK CHOP 9-3878            14   7  1  142  PIGS ON PARADE (1154)      ZUKAL
 MR PIBB 24-4253             66  26  3  139  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         32  64  2  134  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 BEAR 7-4628                 26  38  1  131  BIG BAD (1073)             BONSUR
 MISS B HAVIN 3-3023         18  16  4  131  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
 LUIGI 6-5142                30  40  2  128  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-BORGUS BASHIMUS 58-6097     21  29  1  121  NEXT GENERATION (1075)     DELARQ TOR
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    25  14  3  120  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 PEGASUS 6-4161              24  27  1  113  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 ELI 18-7272                 21  30  3  113  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        23   9  1  105  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-FROG SLAYER 21-4021         22  18  0  104  THE GUARDIANS (1156)       SUNSET

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      21  18  2  100  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        29  22  0   96  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668     23   8  1   95  SRETSAMLEUD (1134)         SIBIKHAS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-RAW SEX APPEAL 82-1331      14   7  0   90  WHY WE LOVE TUM (1164)     DWES EG
 LUC STARWALKER 58-6100      31  34  0   83  NEXT GENERATION (1075)     DELARQ TOR
 BRADEN 6-4867               54  88  0   82  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 SUX0R 5-4560                17   5  0   81  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        21  24  0   80  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
-STERLING 42-3950            20  15  3   80  FLAGG'S FIVE (1108)        RODEKI
 MINOR THREAT 3-3108         21   8  2   76  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
 PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856    20  15  4   73  SRETSAMLEUD (1183)         TALCAMA
-PAUL 18-7804                20  13  0   73  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 PATIENCE 51-4949            20  31  1   70  MIGHTY MORALS (1120)       TRICORUS
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          19  17  2   69  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 STRAFE 82-11158             13  11  0   69  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          17  10  0   67  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
-DELAPP 6-5686               19  14  0   64  NIGHT TRAIN (1158)         TRANSEL
 ASHANTI 6-5352              19  27  4   61  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688           20  22  0   59  NIGHT TRAIN (1158)         TRANSEL
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    21  53  2   50  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 B.A. TURRY 39-3383          18  18  1   48  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
-PROBLEMATIC 42-3928         22  19  0   44  FLAGG'S FIVE (1108)        RODEKI
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         26  48  1   34  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Shocking Toad -- Bring it on!  When my Bashers develop past Buul the Bull we'll see
what happens then....  I might even be able to beat him today, but I'm too lazy to
bother changing strategies--especially to try and beat another basher.  The only time
I send in strategy sheets is to change training. -- Assur

Speedi -- THANK YOU! -- Cyclops

Muffin Man -- That's right, I run bashers--lots of them!  Challenge me! -- Assur

Criminal Element/Indulgent Drinks (Bookie?) -- Ok, so you've seen Went To Market in
action twice.  He's still looking for skills and would rather not bother hosting your
challenges.  Plus, for a basher, he's not all that bad and might win more than lose
against you. -- Assur

Taps -- (bristling with indignation and bandages)  How DARE you?  It is not my
purpose in existence to pander to such as YOU with wins and skills!  Begone! -- Life
of Osksi

Cooler -- Give it another month, and I'll be really glad to see you. -- Tolais
Deepheart

Quid Pro Quo -- That about covers it, I think.  We probably BOTH looked a little,
well, you know, out there staggering with exhaustion and all.  Whoosh. -- Mucker

Christianity -- Darn. -- Maginot Mike

Quid Pro Quo -- (with modest pride)  Yeah, I do.  I can be a real fortress when I
have to, also. -- Maginot Mike

Peon Necromancer did SO know it wasn't the real me, because I was in the, you know,
stands and I waved to him. -- Debby Tonte

     Well, that's all right then. -- Desiree

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM
36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

Bookie
mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GEO METRO slimly won victory over JACK BOY in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
DR DAZZLE demolished BASS in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
SHOCKING TOAD was vanquished by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute Challenge Title brawl.
SUE E. SYDE demolished DUSKY JAWFISH in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
ROB A. REE was overpowered by KILLER KARCH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
CHICK WITH A STICK handily defeated TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
LINK lost to A NEW PONY! in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
LUIGI was vanquished by MR PIBB in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MISS B HAVIN was overpowered by DOC STEELE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
SHINY PENNY demolished PEGASUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
BEAR devastated MY1STADMWARRIOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
SEX ON THE BEACH luckily beat ELI in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge conflict.
LUC STARWALKER vanquished MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
WENT TO MARKET vanquished BRADEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
MINOR THREAT was bested by NEOSPHINCTER in a popular 1 minute Challenge brawl.
ARSONIST ART overpowered HE HATE ME in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PATIENCE overpowered WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
DARK GUMBY was handily defeated by OBSESSIVE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
GREE CHAK was overpowered by COOLER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DR NUT overpowered MUCKER in a action packed 1 minute uneven fray.
LARGE SPINNY GUY devastated CLEANER WRASSE in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
ETCHED IN STONE savagely defeated A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a tiresome 37 minute gory duel.
MIMIC BLENNY vanquished TAPS in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
RYGEL was savagely defeated by BLACK WIDOW in a exciting 4 minute gruesome melee.
SPLURGE ON WAX LIPS handily defeated MAGINOT MIKE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ROLEX WATCH beat TORNADO in a action packed 1 minute competition.
SPEEDI was overpowered by WHIRLING WORD in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
FACEMAN vanquished SCHYLER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
ZAGNUT demolished BUUL THE BULL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
CHRISTIANITY beat QUID PRO QUO in a action packed 2 minute bout.
SIR ENE subdued ANTAGONIST in a action packed 1 minute contest.
DOC STEELE was overpowered by SILAS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH demolished THANOS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
MISS HONEY handily defeated LIFE in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
PEON NECROMANCER was luckily beaten by SUX0R in a popular 4 minute duel.
ZOT ZIPZIG was overpowered by NUMBERED WON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ASHANTI was unbelievably bested by SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
STRAFE vanquished B.A. TURRY in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  21         WALL OF STEEL     66 -  40 -  0      62  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         LUNGING ATTACK   158 - 115 -  1      58  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         SLASHING ATTACK   44 -  41 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         AIMED BLOW        35 -  34 -  0      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  31 -  0      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -  18 -  0      40  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  26 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  58 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  15 -  0      25  |

Turn 373 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         6 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     8 - 13         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  5     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     6 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899          93  62  1  254 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
LUNGING ATTACK   DR NUT 24-4254             53  33  2  246 DP CLONES (1045)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    40  19  1  245 CEMENTIA (1112)
AIMED BLOW       LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361   65  33  5  231 DIABLO TOO (1037)
WALL OF STEEL    OBSESSIVE 58-2447          47  39  1  229 ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)
PARRY-LUNGE      GEO METRO 58-5740          70  69  3  227 COOL WHEELS (943)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             33  20  1  222 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-STRIKE     SHOCKING TOAD 7-310        52  69  1  194 NINJAS (1107)
BASHING ATTACK   BUUL THE BULL 2-4840       41  46  1  180 RESURRECTION (1143)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TAPS 96-841                20  17  5  166 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)

The overall popularity leader is SPEEDI 58-3029.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLACK WIDOW 37-1303.  The ten other most popular fighters were RYGEL 18-7142, 
PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856, ASHANTI 6-5352, GEO METRO 58-5740, A NEW PONY! 82-1306, ELI 
18-7272, SUE E. SYDE 39-3240, DOC STEELE 18-6010, BEAR 7-4628, and SEX ON THE BEACH 
54-2435.

The least popular fighter this week was ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258, THANOS 37-1406, DOC STEELE 18-6808, 
GREE CHAK 41-3859, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, MEN WORKING 38-4189, ZOT ZIPZIG 6-5688, 
LIFE 3-4196, ANTAGONIST 3-2824, and BUUL THE BULL 2-4840.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  ZORPUNT(24)          2  0 0  CAER(48)             1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  4 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         2  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            2  0 0  TROCAR(54)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  
TRANSEL(6)           0  8 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  2 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       3  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           2  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       2  2 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          8  7 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          4  2 0  
TI(23)               2  0 0  RODEKI(42)           0  2 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUUL THE BULL 2-4840        41  46  1  180  RESURRECTION (1143)        NIANIA
 ANTAGONIST 3-2824           22  20  2  180  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         55  62  1  171  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 BASS 5-3666                 53  92  2  148  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 TORNADO 6-2249              30  39  2  187  ACTS OF NATURE (415)       TRANSEL
 SHOCKING TOAD 7-310         52  69  1  194  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 ZAGNUT 10-4745              36   9  4  204  TERRAPIN STATION (616)     KOLACT
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899           93  62  1  254  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 LARGE SPINNY GUY 23-4361    65  33  5  231  DIABLO TOO (1037)          TI
 DR NUT 24-4254              53  33  2  246  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      21  18  2  100  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         47  41  1  195  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          64  61  0  171  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         58  66  2  195  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 FACEMAN 38-4129             48  40  2  199  THE A TEAM (1044)          CLIFFHOME
 SUE E. SYDE 39-3240         43  34  1  215  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 GREE CHAK 41-3859           45  30  2  193  KILLERS (1145)             KATI-TEI

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MUCKER 42-3596              53  61  1  195  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       60  38  1  219  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 CHRISTIANITY 51-4965        44  39  0  205  GENOCIDE (1110)            TRICORUS
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    25  14  3  120  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           57  30  2  163  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           47  39  1  229  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     40  19  1  245  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 KILLER KARCH 69-5668        18   8  2  217  SAND KINGS (1118)          CIMMERIAC
 COOLER 82-7277              33  20  1  222  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 TAPS 96-841                 20  17  5  166  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS