DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 12/25/2004 Duedate: 01/07/2005
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-391
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 ODD SQUAD 69/1217 1173 429 7 73.2 BLADES OF CHAOS 5/961
THUNDR + LITENING 18/309 BLADES OF MIST 4/959
BLACK PRIMERS 82/1187 BLADES OF STEEL 17/1211
LEGENDS OF STEELE 1/1047 BLADES OF GRASS 33/1215
2 RAINDANCE 51/1106 65 28 2 69.9 BLADES OF ENTROPY 10/1210
3 MONGREL HORDE 10/964 491 238 3 67.4 BLADES OF DESTINY 60/1216
4 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1566 1261 16 55.4 10 SHAMROCKS 58/424 175 171 3 50.6
LOCAL BEER 82/1219 11 WHOA! JUMP BA 10/763 79 77 1 50.6
4-LETTER ITCHES 82/1218 12-SRETSAMLEUD 18/1183 15 15 2 50.0
DIRTY INFIRMARY 82/1206 SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134
4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204 SRETSAMLEUD 62/1203
4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063 13 INDULGENT DR 54/1153 81 101 2 44.5
STREET PIZZA 18/114 CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074
STREET PIZZAD III 82/1190 14 NINJAS 7/1107 86 111 1 43.7
WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114 FROM THE FACE 18/1213
MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/1038 SCIENCE FICTION 6/1191
PUNCHLINES 82/1115 15 THE CUTTHROATS 7/203 40 57 2 41.2
LUST MUPPETS 32/1036 16 MUSIC TO KIL 96/1119 57 84 0 40.4
5 NUMBERS 62/937 1716 1449 6 54.2 17 BEAST MASTERS 37/136 150 225 3 40.0
FLAT BROKE 82/1184 ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423
MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188 KREWE OF DRUID 6/1186
CEMENTIA 61/1112 ACTS OF NATURE 6/415
DP CLONES 24/1045 18 DELVERS 42/1000 246 399 1 38.1
PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069 DOGS OF WAR 4/999
NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998
WASTELAND 18/468 19 JOHNS 5/927 825 1452 17 36.2
IT'S NEW! 6/1195 SCARRY TEAM 36/824
WASTELAND II 7/500 ARROGANCE 18/732
I'M SO SEXY 42/1072 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
WHAT A TREAT 98/1201 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
MY DRUGS 98/1179 20 BIG BAD 7/1073 514 962 8 34.8
MORE NEW TEAMS 4 82/1220 NEXT GENERATION 18/1150
6 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1128 985 8 53.4 NEXT GENERATION 58/1075
7 QUBIT 10/1140 572 508 2 53.0 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162
ON A WHIM 82/1014 FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034
SIR AGLIO 10/600 SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067
8 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 692 674 6 50.7 21 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212 1 0 0 100
9 BLADES OF ICE 7/192 414 403 2 50.7
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Debby Tonte was going to do your spy report. I knew you didn't want that.
She'd only talk about tanning. Or skiing. Or whatever. But she did leave behind
one of her drinks with an umbrella in it, and it's actually not bad. Not the sort of
thing I'd want to order at any bar here in Willow Beach, but not actually bad.
Except the bananas. Somehow, bananas do not work well in a drink with an umbrella in
it. They offend me. They offend my tongue, too. Still, you're not here to listen
to that... but then again, you can't stop me, so why should I care?
What a Treat avoided Thundr + Litening. Did it do them any good? Stay with me
while I work through the fights, and we'll see.
Bass, a John if I ever saw one, got the most challenges.
Nobody died.
Two standbys fought.
The longest fight was a mere seven minutes, which was long enough in this cold
weather. It could easily have gone longer, as one of the participants was later
found to have suffered the "Tin Woodman Effect," which is to say that his armor
joints rusted solid, or possible froze solid, in the sleet. Serves him right.
Three tv challenges out of a total of ten challenges, and forty-one total
fights.
And here are the fights, very quickly because we had a party here at the office
this weekend, and we were a little late getting these notes together. But the
eggknock was very good.
FRIED TWINKIE (5-4562) (26-9-0,83) of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 fought ENDYMION (6-4163)
(27-42-1,78) of KREWE OF DRUID. FRIED TWINKIE beat ENDYMION in an exciting 2 minute
fight. "Exciting" is so relative.
HITZ (82-10428) (10-7-0,88) of 4-LETTER DOCTORS fought 2 (62-2976) (24-18-3,68)
of NUMBERS. HITZ overpowered 2 in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal uneven
competition. Ah, but what if he'd been matched against... 3!
JOCK (82-10452) (5-6-0,21) of 4-LETTER ITCHES fought MEN WORKING (38-4189) (29-
62-1,50) of JUST BECAUSE. JOCK handily defeated MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched
fight. Because the men weren't working HARD. Oh, no, they were on a government
paycheck.
THE CUTICLE DANCE (82-13639) (13-4-1,85) of DON'T ASK fought TASTY HANGNAIL (7-
5463) (22-18-0,65) of WASTELAND II. THE CUTICLE DANCE subdued TASTY HANGNAIL in an
action packed 2 minute conflict. Okay, I won't ask, but I have an idea that there
was something appropriate and rather nasty in this match-up.
YUENGLING (82-16265) (12-5-1,42) of LOCAL BEER fought BRADEN (6-4867) (60-99-
1,63) of THE LADY'S LIST. YUENGLING subdued BRADEN in an action packed 1 minute
bloody duel. A good beer, local or otherwise, can subdue just about anyone. It's a
law of nature.
HEAT (98-981) (11-10-4,49) of WHAT A TREAT fought DRUNKEN FISHERMAN (104-1) (20-
20-0,50) of the College of Mimes. HEAT won victory over DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a
popular 1 minute match. I wouldn't mind some heat around here!
RED FUSION (6-5480) (32-6-0,149) of IT'S NEW! fought LINK (6-5144) (28-54-2,105)
of SUPER BASH BROTHERS. RED FUSION was savagely defeated by LINK in an exciting 4
minute bloody competition. Savage? So, who's been feeding Link red meat? That
wasn't supposed to happen. I distinctly remember seeing the note: No red meat for
bashers.
SHINY PENNY (32-3789) (36-77-2,145) of FOUND IN THE SAND fought KHALHUMS DWARF
(104-10) (0-0-0,150) of the College of Mimes. SHINY PENNY viciously subdued KHALHUMS
DWARF in a popular 2 minute gruesome bout. It only LOOKED like a Khalhums Dwarf,
there aren't any more. They've all vanished into caves and tunnels and other holes
in the ground. For some reason, the hairy little wretches seem to be annoyed with
the Commission. Now, any short guy with a beard is an automatic Khalhums Dwarf.
EMILY (17-5753) (35-21-0,166) of BLADES OF STEEL fought ASHANTI (6-5352) (27-36-
5,137) of KREWE OF DRUID. EMILY was demolished by ASHANTI in a 1 minute one-sided
conflict. What do you use to take out a druid? A blade of oak? Evidently steel
doesn't do it.
QUID PRO QUO (10-4794) (36-22-1,154) of QUBIT fought SUX0R (5-4560) (29-10-
0,146) of MORE NEW TEAMS 2. QUID PRO QUO was savagely defeated by SUX0R in a popular
5 minute brutal fray. That's a little extra quo to go with the original quid. And,
of course, five minutes of brutality really stirs up the crowd here.
HE HATE ME (18-7820) (25-28-2,175) of WASTELAND fought QSTAFF INFECTION (82-
14523) (15-4-0,105) of DIRTY INFIRMARY. HE HATE ME devastated QSTAFF INFECTION in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle. He Hate Me has received job offers from
doctors everywhere. A warning, He: they'll hate you, too.
ROLEX WATCH (32-3732) (52-53-1,180) of LUST MUPPETS fought WENT TO MARKET (25-
4288) (28-28-2,141) of THIS LITTLE PRIGGY. ROLEX WATCH devastated WENT TO MARKET in
a 1 minute one-sided duel. It's the prices. Talk about inflation!
MAGINOT MIKE (4-4509) (61-73-1,164) of DOGS OF WAR fought ISHINOMORI (7-5390)
(34-12-1,142) of NINJAS. MAGINOT MIKE was overpowered by ISHINOMORI in an exciting 1
minute uneven bout. Were you excited? I wasn't excited. I see this kind of stuff
every day.
TAPS (96-841) (28-26-5,194) of MUSIC TO KILL BY fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422)
(28-13-0,180) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW. TAPS overpowered CRACK IS CHEAP in a popular 4
minute brutal one-sided match. Hear here.
TORNADO (6-2249) (35-51-2,202) of ACTS OF NATURE fought MUCKER (42-3596) (61-70-
1,194) of DELVERS. TORNADO was defeated by MUCKER in an action packed 1 minute gory
duel. And if you ask me, that was no way for nature to act in the first place.
Nature must have a twisted mind to come up with a tornado.
BLACK WIDOW (37-1303) (67-74-3,192) of BEAST MASTERS fought A DIFFERENT GRAPE
(82-1258) (45-38-1,208) of MY WIFE'S COSMETICS. BLACK WIDOW viciously subdued A
DIFFERENT GRAPE in an exciting 3 minute gory duel. Black goes with everything,
that's why they call it "basic black."
MISS HONEY (36-4850) (71-71-0,194) of SCARRY TEAM fought CHIEF STORMCLOUD (51-
4306) (31-11-1,165) of RAINDANCE. MISS HONEY was handily defeated by CHIEF
STORMCLOUD in a 1 minute uneven bout. She's probably going to be held for ransome.
Either that, or the old "fate worse than death."
SMOOGIE (82-2247) (15-13-1,190) of STREET PIZZAD III fought PEGASUS (6-4161)
(29-39-1,156) of KREWE OF DRUID. SMOOGIE overpowered PEGASUS in an exciting 1 minute
gruesome uneven match. "Smoogie"? Who, or what, is a smoogie? Do I want to know?
STARBUCK (6-5387) (41-30-0,205) of SCIENCE FICTION fought SUPER BUM (82-18411)
(30-14-0,186) of FLAT BROKE. STARBUCK was luckily beaten by SUPER BUM in an action
packed 6 minute gory fight. It looks like coffee to me, and fine stuff, too. This
is coffee that'll float a shortsword.
WHIRLING DOG (10-4177) (69-35-1,207) of MONGREL HORDE fought A NEW PONY! (82-
1306) (31-36-0,185) of WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS. WHIRLING DOG defeated A NEW PONY! in an
action packed 2 minute fight. Watch out, or this will turn into Aradi. You wouldn't
want that. Trust me, you wouldn't.
NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317) (28-21-1,186) of WASTELAND fought OBSESSIVE (58-2447)
(52-51-1,201) of ELEMENTS OF PSI. NEOSPHINCTER viciously subdued OBSESSIVE in a
popular 2 minute brutal contest. There's probably something disgusting to be
inferred from that, but I'm not going there. Let Desiree (not her real name) do it.
DOC STEELE (18-6808) (50-71-1,200) of ARROGANCE fought ONE A DAY (98-799) (27-
23-3,201) of MY DRUGS. DOC STEELE was beaten by ONE A DAY in an action packed 4
minute fray. This is, ah, Doc Steele the Younger Warrior. See immediately below.
DOC STEELE (18-6010) (62-117-6,185) of ARROGANCE fought HAIR LIP! (82-3261) (17-
17-1,184) of PUNCHLINES. DOC STEELE was overpowered by HAIR LIP! in an exciting 1
minute uneven fight. Doc Steele the Older Warrior.
KYLIE (18-6057) (32-27-1,188) of UNTOUCHABLES fought DUSKY JAWFISH (18-6978)
(48-54-1,205) of BIG MEAN FISH. KYLIE savagely defeated DUSKY JAWFISH in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute bloody conflict. And I hear that Wylie is inviting All and Sundry
(the senior arena orderlies) to a fish fry at his place.
MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (105-67-1,215) of BIG MEAN FISH fought WHIRLING WORD (48-
3815) (74-41-1,202) of 4-LETTER WORDS. MAHI MAHI was demolished by WHIRLING WORD in
an exciting 1 minute one-sided bout. Some words have a real edge to them. Sort of
verbal shurikin.
MIMIC BLENNY (18-7541) (41-24-1,218) of BIG MEAN FISH fought JACK BOY (82-2030)
(84-61-0,209) of ON A WHIM. MIMIC BLENNY was bested by JACK BOY in a popular 5
minute brutal brawl. Next time, Jack Boy will use a heavier line.
DR NUT (24-4254) (63-40-2,239) of DP CLONES fought SCHYLER (6-4866) (61-98-
1,195) of THE LADY'S LIST. DR NUT viciously subdued SCHYLER in an exciting 2 minute
bloody fray. A vicious Dr? Must be auditioning for an Infirmary job.
JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (38-16-1,288) of NINJAS fought CLEANER WRASSE (18-6495)
(80-65-2,272) of BIG MEAN FISH. JAKUCHU ITO overpowered CLEANER WRASSE in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel. Talk about a dirty fight....
DARK GUMBY (7-4694) (63-41-1,275) of WASTELAND II fought HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH (18-
6977) (54-47-0,192) of BIG MEAN FISH. DARK GUMBY overpowered HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a
1 minute mismatched conflict. This does not appear to have been a good day to be a
Fish.
ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (52-24-1,213) of CEMENTIA fought GRINGOLD (7-2416)
(27-28-2,191) of THE CUTTHROATS. ETCHED IN STONE viciously subdued GRINGOLD in an
exciting 5 minute bloody battle. Threw the stone at him, in fact. Seemed like a
good move to me.
And the challenge matches:
STRAFE (82-11158) (22-15-0,86) of BLACK PRIMERS challenged WORK IN PROGRESS (38-
4193) (23-68-2,41) of JUST BECAUSE. Down 45. STRAFE handily defeated WORK IN
PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. Looks like that "Work" isn't going
to progress very rapidly.
ARSONIST ART (39-3325) (36-32-0,147) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged LIFE (3-
4196) (44-141-0,151) of GAMES LIBRARY. Up 4. ARSONIST ART was outwaited by LIFE in
a popular 7 minute brutal Challenge fight. The longest fight, and Life of Osksi was
talking the WHOLE time. Which is probably why Art didn't notice that his armor had
rusted.
B.A. TURRY (39-3383) (23-30-2,126) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged BORGUS
BASHIMUS (58-6097) (22-32-1,135) of NEXT GENERATION. Up 9. B.A. TURRY won victory
over BORGUS BASHIMUS in a 1 minute Challenge fight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but was
bashing the kind of thing B.A. got into trouble for in the first place? Was this two
of a kind?
SEX ON THE BEACH (54-2435) (34-22-3,163) of INDULGENT DRINKS challenged PTI (7-
5412) (30-14-0,169) of WASTELAND II. Up 6. SEX ON THE BEACH was viciously subdued
by PTI in a 2 minute Challenge melee. Nope, not going to say a word. Let Desiree
(not her real name) do it.
MUMPHY CHICK (1-5487) (25-1-0,163) of LEGENDS OF STEELE challenged BEAR (7-4628)
(27-50-1,123) of BIG BAD. Down 40. MUMPHY CHICK bested BEAR in a popular 3 minute
Challenge competition. Mumphy looks rather fetching on a bearskin rug. At least, so
long as there's a fire in the fireplace. It's too cold otherwise, and goosebumps are
never in style.
ANTONIO (10-2554) (42-52-2,196) of WHOA! JUMP BACK! challenged BASS (5-3666)
(61-101-2,204) of JOHNS. Up 8. ANTONIO was devastated by BASS in a crowd pleasing 2
minute one-sided Challenge duel. This is "Most Challenged" Bass, yes? Why? Okay, I
know why--because more people challenged him. You know what I was asking!
SALESGUN (1-6745) (26-38-2,185) of LEGENDS OF STEELE challenged COOLER (82-7277)
(39-31-1,183) of STYROFOAM. Down 2. SALESGUN was savagely defeated by COOLER in an
exciting 2 minute Challenge fight. As if anybody had to struggle to be cool today.
Brrr!
The TV challenges:
WIGGLER (18-8088) (20-6-1,91) of THUNDR + LITENING TV challenged STUPID SEXY
FLANDERS (42-3836) (19-14-0,68) of I'M SO SEXY. Down 23. WIGGLER vanquished STUPID
SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. Good. Becaue he's NOT.
NUMBERED WON (18-7434) (30-32-0,155) of NEXT GENERATION TV challenged TOLAIS
DEEPHEART (42-1620) (96-106-0,190) of DELVERS. Up 35. NUMBERED WON was demolished
by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 3 minute Challenge melee. Same old same old.
DR DAZZLE (57-4485) (70-34-2,199) of PEPPER PRACTICE II TV challenged SPEEDI
(58-3029) (111-86-3,220) of SHAMROCKS. Up 21. DR DAZZLE was devastated by SPEEDI in
a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. And very appropriate that this was a short
fight, too. Some days you don't get that congruence.
And for the job of sword-sitting the Runeblade: ROB A. REE (39-3241) (45-29-
1,265) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT fought TUM (18-7380) (34-19-2,239) of FROM THE FACE. ROB
A. REE was demolished by TUM in a 1 minute mismatched Title competition. Somebody
write a column about this; it will please Desiree (not her real name) and make her
wonder what's going on.
Ketchum
(my real name)
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TUM 18-7380 35 19 2 258 FROM THE FACE (1213) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-RAMZA 7-4340 66 36 2 336 BLADES OF ICE (192) BONSUR
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 39 16 1 307 NINJAS (1107) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DARK GUMBY 7-4694 64 41 1 287 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
SPEEDI 58-3029 112 86 3 249 SHAMROCKS (424) DELARQ TOR
DR NUT 24-4254 64 40 2 246 DP CLONES (1045) ZORPUNT
WHIRLING WORD 48-3815 75 41 1 232 4-LETTER WORDS (1063) CAER
JACK BOY 82-2030 85 61 0 226 ON A WHIM (1014) DWES EG
-JANAE 5-3867 63 47 3 219 BLADES OF CHAOS (961) KALTOS
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 53 24 1 219 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
BASS 5-3666 62 101 2 216 JOHNS (927) KALTOS
TAPS 96-841 29 26 5 211 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119) OLD VALAMANTIS
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
WHIRLING DOG 10-4177 70 35 1 209 MONGREL HORDE (964) KOLACT
ONE A DAY 98-799 28 23 3 209 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
BLACK WIDOW 37-1303 68 74 3 208 BEAST MASTERS (136) SIBIKHAS
-DEORNE 7-2529 79 57 1 207 BLADES OF ICE (192) BONSUR
SUPER BUM 82-18411 31 14 0 207 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
MUCKER 42-3596 62 70 1 205 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI
MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541 41 25 1 204 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
-RENAE 7-4304 68 44 3 203 BLADES OF ICE (192) BONSUR
KYLIE 18-6057 33 27 1 202 UNTOUCHABLES (1212) TALCAMA
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 29 21 1 202 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
-RAZOX 7-2400 85 58 1 201 BLADES OF ICE (192) BONSUR
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 105 68 1 199 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
DOC STEELE 18-6808 50 72 1 199 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
SCHYLER 6-4866 61 99 1 198 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
GRINGOLD 7-2416 27 29 2 198 THE CUTTHROATS (203) BONSUR
CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 80 66 2 196 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
DR DAZZLE 57-4485 70 35 2 196 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR
HAIR LIP! 82-3261 18 17 1 196 PUNCHLINES (1115) DWES EG
STARBUCK 6-5387 41 31 0 195 SCIENCE FICTION (1191) TRANSEL
TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 97 106 0 194 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI
DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 48 55 1 194 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
ROB A. REE 39-3241 45 30 1 194 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
A NEW PONY! 82-1306 31 37 0 194 WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG
A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258 45 39 1 192 MY WIFE'S COSMETICS (1038) DWES EG
COOLER 82-7277 40 31 1 192 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
TORNADO 6-2249 35 52 2 192 ACTS OF NATURE (415) TRANSEL
SMOOGIE 82-2247 16 13 1 192 STREET PIZZAD III (1190) DWES EG
-THRENODY 4-4557 38 43 1 191 BLADES OF MIST (959) JHELUM
CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306 32 11 1 191 RAINDANCE (1106) TRICORUS
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 54 48 0 190 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
OBSESSIVE 58-2447 52 52 1 190 ELEMENTS OF PSI (423) DELARQ TOR
ANTONIO 10-2554 42 53 2 187 WHOA! JUMP BACK! (763) KOLACT
ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 53 53 1 182 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT
PTI 7-5412 31 14 0 181 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
SALESGUN 1-6745 26 39 2 181 LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047) MORDANT
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HE HATE ME 18-7820 26 28 2 177 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 28 14 0 175 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
MISS HONEY 36-4850 71 72 0 174 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS
DOC STEELE 18-6010 62 118 6 174 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
ASHANTI 6-5352 28 36 5 169 KREWE OF DRUID (1186) TRANSEL
SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 34 23 3 165 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR
SUX0R 5-4560 30 10 0 165 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188) KALTOS
MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487 26 1 0 165 LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047) MORDANT
ISHINOMORI 7-5390 35 12 1 164 NINJAS (1107) BONSUR
LIFE 3-4196 45 141 0 160 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
-REDEMPTION 4-4868 30 22 1 159 BLADES OF MIST (959) JHELUM
SHINY PENNY 32-3789 37 77 2 156 FOUND IN THE SAND (1034) ARVAT
PEGASUS 6-4161 29 40 1 156 KREWE OF DRUID (1186) TRANSEL
NUMBERED WON 18-7434 30 33 0 155 NEXT GENERATION (1150) TALCAMA
QUID PRO QUO 10-4794 36 23 1 153 QUBIT (1140) KOLACT
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-TOWER 7-4461 45 27 1 151 BLADES OF ICE (192) BONSUR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 61 74 1 149 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM
LINK 6-5144 29 54 2 148 SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
ARSONIST ART 39-3325 36 33 0 146 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
EMILY 17-5753 35 22 0 141 BLADES OF STEEL (1211) ALJAFIR
WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 28 29 2 141 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN
BEAR 7-4628 27 51 1 137 BIG BAD (1073) BONSUR
B.A. TURRY 39-3383 24 30 2 137 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
BORGUS BASHIMUS 58-6097 22 33 1 126 NEXT GENERATION (1075) DELARQ TOR
RED FUSION 6-5480 32 7 0 123 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
QSTAFF INFECTION 82-14523 15 5 0 113 DIRTY INFIRMARY (1206) DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
WIGGLER 18-8088 21 6 1 99 THUNDR + LITENING (309) TALCAMA
HITZ 82-10428 11 7 0 99 4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204) DWES EG
-MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668 25 10 1 95 SRETSAMLEUD (1134) SIBIKHAS
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 14 4 1 90 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG
STRAFE 82-11158 23 15 0 88 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) DWES EG
FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562 27 9 0 87 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188) KALTOS
ENDYMION 6-4163 27 43 1 82 KREWE OF DRUID (1186) TRANSEL
-NARCISSISTIC NUN 69-8644 13 7 0 79 ODD SQUAD (1217) CIMMERIAC
-PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856 23 16 5 76 SRETSAMLEUD (1183) TALCAMA
TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 22 19 0 69 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 19 15 0 68 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
2 62-2976 24 19 3 64 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
-BET OR NOT DIE 62-3981 17 12 3 59 SRETSAMLEUD (1203) VALAMANTIS
YUENGLING 82-16265 13 5 1 59 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG
HEAT 98-981 12 10 4 56 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL
BRADEN 6-4867 60 100 1 49 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
-YOU 62-4002 17 9 1 47 SRETSAMLEUD (1203) VALAMANTIS
JOCK 82-10452 6 6 0 47 4-LETTER ITCHES (1218) DWES EG
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 23 69 2 44 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
-PUD #20 82-19855 14 9 0 31 MORE NEW TEAMS 4 (1220) DWES EG
MEN WORKING 38-4189 29 63 1 25 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Heroes of the Delarquan People! -- To my great regret, other duties call me away
until the turn of the year. May you keep warm and well fed, may you enjoy the
company of your beloved on these coldest winter nights. Till we meet again,
foaming mugs and fragrant fires to you all! -- Desiree
Numbered Won -- Good try, but it had better be the skills you were after, sonny.
(sneezing) I wish they wouldn't throw down flowers, I'm allergic to some of the
commoner ones. -- Tolais Deepheart
P.S. I'll be glad to defeat you while teaching skills. Any time, boy. Any time.
Pegasus -- That's kind strange. I thought horses had more sense. Or did the wings
suck away some of your thinking power? I mean, you really figure gladiating is the
right career path for you? -- Mucker
P.S. Of course, like me, you're a golem. That means "no choice," right?
Hair Lip! -- You are INSANE! I would have punched you right ON your silly lip, but
the arenamaster stopped me. -- Life of Osksi
Went to Market -- Find anything GOOD there? -- Maginot Mike
8 December 2004
Battle Royal 4
The Battle Royal arena contests are one of the purest tests of manager skill
available. The rules are simple. The scoring is simple. The updates are live. If
you would like to participate, simply get a team ready in Talcama in the next month
and announce in the personals that you're in. The prize is bragging rights and
having your name along side previous winners (Doc Steele, Manray Frothingslosh, and
Manager). It is a brutal contest, but it is a lot of fun!
Basic rules: No avoiding other contest teams. Score = Wins + Kills - Losses.
Only fights against other BR teams count. First team to 25 wins!
BR4 begins in Talcama (DM 18) on turn 502, due on Jan 29, 2005.
Visit http://www.geocities.com/assurnasir/br4 for more information.
8 December 2004
TURF WAR IV -- GRAND CONTEST NOTICE!
The Turf War IV Grand Contest will commence on Turn 221 (approx. February 22,
2005). For those who have never participated, Turf Wars are alliance-type contest
and Winner-Takes-All. There are no 2nd place winners!
Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must:
A. Announce the alliance name and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork
(DM #47) newsletter.
Captains are responsible for:
A. Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
B. Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the TW4.
Managers must:
A. Submit one (1) RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate to participate;
B. Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
in which they will be fighting under, in the DM #47 North Fork newsletter.
Rules:
1. No scoring will begin until an RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate is received. No
exceptions will be made.
2. Before a manager can compete, he must be acknowledged and verified by the Captain
of the alliance he has claimed for;
A. The following turn, points will begin to be awarded or subtracted;
3. Only one (1) team per manager may compete. No multiple aliases please (we'll be
checking this and if caught...you'll be disqualified and no refund);
4. The contest will end on Turn 233 (12 turns!). Winners will be announced on Turn
234 and prizes sent to winning alliance between Turn 233 and 234.
5. No declarations will be acknowledged after Turn 231.
6. For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.
Scoring: Win Lose Kill Die
Challenge +2 -2 +5 -5
Match-up +1 -1 +1 -5
Bloodfeud +2 -5 +5 -10
Champion x2 x2 x2 x2
Downchallenge +2 -5 +2 -10
Dark Arena +10 -5 xx xx
Special Scoring:
A. Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points;
B. Each Style Master is worth 5 points;
Champions:
A. Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory. If declared, they must be
in the Adepts or lower brackets.
Bloodfeuds:
A. Bloodfeuds will count for all four turns. However, the same warrior may not
bloodfeud all four turns. A penalty of -10 will be given to the team who
violates this rule.
Special Conditions:
A. I reserve the right for all final decisions.
B. If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2;
C. If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong; I'll subtract points at the rate of
x10!
D. Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
E. Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty.
F. T.V.'s won after contest begins gain a Triple rate of scoring.
G. T.C.'s won after the contest begins gain a multiple of 10 scoring.
H. No switching alliances once verified by an alliance.
Any questions or concerns may be addressed (if you're incarcerated) to:
Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (268), DM #47 -- North Fork.
If you're in the free world: Rick Strigner Merit East
SCI P.O. Box 500
Georgetown, DE 19947-0500
P.S. Prizes are:
A. 100% of the roll-up certs
B. Currently under negotiations with R.S.I. for other prizes
C. A special prize from me that I will discuss with the Captain of the winning
alliance.
15 December 2004
The Company of Brothers Alliance would like to welcome Azereth as our newest member.
We are sure he will be an asset to both our alliance and the dueling community! --
Baphomet, Co-Founder T.C.B.
24 December 2004
Due to requests, the Turf War IV will be postponed until turn 225 (approx May/June
2005). Sorry about the inconvenience. -- Baphomet, host of TW 4
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
DR DAZZLE was devastated by SPEEDI in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
NUMBERED WON was demolished by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 3 minute Challenge melee.
WIGGLER vanquished STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
SALESGUN was savagely defeated by COOLER in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
ANTONIO was devastated by BASS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MUMPHY CHICK bested BEAR in a popular 3 minute Challenge competition.
SEX ON THE BEACH was viciously subdued by PTI in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
B.A. TURRY won victory over BORGUS BASHIMUS in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ARSONIST ART was outwaited by LIFE in a popular 7 minute brutal Challenge fight.
STRAFE handily defeated WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ROB A. REE was demolished by TUM in a 1 minute mismatched Title competition.
ETCHED IN STONE viciously subdued GRINGOLD in a exciting 5 minute bloody battle.
DARK GUMBY overpowered HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
JAKUCHU ITO overpowered CLEANER WRASSE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
DR NUT viciously subdued SCHYLER in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray.
MIMIC BLENNY was bested by JACK BOY in a popular 5 minute brutal brawl.
MAHI MAHI was demolished by WHIRLING WORD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
KYLIE savagely defeated DUSKY JAWFISH in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody conflict.
DOC STEELE was overpowered by HAIR LIP! in a exciting 1 minute uneven fight.
DOC STEELE was beaten by ONE A DAY in a action packed 4 minute fray.
NEOSPHINCTER viciously subdued OBSESSIVE in a popular 2 minute brutal contest.
WHIRLING DOG defeated A NEW PONY! in a action packed 2 minute fight.
STARBUCK was luckily beaten by SUPER BUM in a action packed 6 minute gory fight.
SMOOGIE overpowered PEGASUS in a exciting 1 minute gruesome uneven match.
MISS HONEY was handily defeated by CHIEF STORMCLOUD in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BLACK WIDOW viciously subdued A DIFFERENT GRAPE in a exciting 3 minute gory duel.
TORNADO was defeated by MUCKER in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
TAPS overpowered CRACK IS CHEAP in a popular 4 minute brutal one-sided match.
MAGINOT MIKE was overpowered by ISHINOMORI in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
ROLEX WATCH devastated WENT TO MARKET in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HE HATE ME devastated QSTAFF INFECTION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
QUID PRO QUO was savagely defeated by SUX0R in a popular 5 minute brutal fray.
EMILY was demolished by ASHANTI in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
SHINY PENNY viciously subdued KHALHUMS DWARF in a popular 2 minute gruesome bout.
RED FUSION was savagely defeated by LINK in a exciting 4 minute bloody competition.
HEAT won victory over DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a popular 1 minute match.
YUENGLING subdued BRADEN in a action packed 1 minute bloody duel.
THE CUTICLE DANCE subdued TASTY HANGNAIL in a action packed 2 minute conflict.
JOCK handily defeated MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
HITZ overpowered 2 in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal uneven competition.
FRIED TWINKIE beat ENDYMION in a exciting 2 minute fight.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 27 WALL OF STEEL 89 - 49 - 0 64 |
|WALL OF STEEL 12 TOTAL PARRY 72 - 53 - 0 58 |
|TOTAL PARRY 12 LUNGING ATTACK 125 - 108 - 4 54 |
|AIMED BLOW 9 PARRY-STRIKE 9 - 9 - 0 50 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 7 AIMED BLOW 39 - 46 - 0 46 |
|BASHING ATTACK 6 STRIKING ATTACK 20 - 24 - 0 45 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 3 SLASHING ATTACK 36 - 44 - 1 45 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 16 - 0 45 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 14 - 0 33 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 BASHING ATTACK 16 - 56 - 0 22 |
Turn 391 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
WALL OF STEEL 8 - 4 AIMED BLOW 3 - 6 6 LUNGING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 17 - 10 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 4 3 WALL OF STEEL
SLASHING ATTACK 4 - 3 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 1 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY
TOTAL PARRY 6 - 6 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 3
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK TUM 18-7380 35 19 2 258 FROM THE FACE (1213)
WALL OF STEEL DARK GUMBY 7-4694 64 41 1 287 WASTELAND II (500)
TOTAL PARRY ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 53 24 1 219 CEMENTIA (1112)
PARRY-RIPOSTE TAPS 96-841 29 26 5 211 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)
SLASHING ATTACK BLACK WIDOW 37-1303 68 74 3 208 BEAST MASTERS (136)
AIMED BLOW NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 29 21 1 202 WASTELAND (468)
STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 105 68 1 199 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 50 72 1 199 ARROGANCE (732)
PARRY-STRIKE ANTONIO 10-2554 42 53 2 187 WHOA! JUMP BACK! (763)
BASHING ATTACK SHINY PENNY 32-3789 37 77 2 156 FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)
The overall popularity leader is MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487. The most popular warrior this
turn was STARBUCK 6-5387. The ten other most popular fighters were GRINGOLD 7-2416,
MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541, LINK 6-5144, DOC STEELE 18-6808, JACK BOY 82-2030, TAPS 96-841,
LIFE 3-4196, BLACK WIDOW 37-1303, QUID PRO QUO 10-4794, and SUX0R 5-4560.
The least popular fighter this week was MEN WORKING 38-4189. The other ten least
popular fighters were WENT TO MARKET 25-4288, ROB A. REE 39-3241, WORK IN PROGRESS
38-4193, STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836, DR DAZZLE 57-4485, EMILY 17-5753, QSTAFF
INFECTION 82-14523, MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509, TORNADO 6-2249, and MISS HONEY 36-4850.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 1 1 0 ZORPUNT(24) 1 0 0 TRICORUS(51) 1 0 0
OSKSI(3) 1 0 0 LYRATILAN(25) 0 1 0 TROCAR(54) 0 1 0
JHELUM(4) 0 1 0 ARVAT(32) 2 0 0 ANDOR(57) 0 1 0
KALTOS(5) 3 0 0 JHANS(36) 0 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 2 0
TRANSEL(6) 2 7 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 1 0 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 4 3 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 0 1 0
KOLACT(10) 1 2 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 2 0 DWES EG(82) 10 4 0
ALJAFIR(17) 0 1 0 RODEKI(42) 2 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 5 8 0 CAER(48) 1 0 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 2 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SALESGUN 1-6745 26 39 2 181 LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047) MORDANT
LIFE 3-4196 45 141 0 160 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 61 74 1 149 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM
BASS 5-3666 62 101 2 216 JOHNS (927) KALTOS
SCHYLER 6-4866 61 99 1 198 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 39 16 1 307 NINJAS (1107) BONSUR
WHIRLING DOG 10-4177 70 35 1 209 MONGREL HORDE (964) KOLACT
EMILY 17-5753 35 22 0 141 BLADES OF STEEL (1211) ALJAFIR
TUM 18-7380 35 19 2 258 FROM THE FACE (1213) TALCAMA
DR NUT 24-4254 64 40 2 246 DP CLONES (1045) ZORPUNT
WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 28 29 2 141 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN
ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 53 53 1 182 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT
MISS HONEY 36-4850 71 72 0 174 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS
BLACK WIDOW 37-1303 68 74 3 208 BEAST MASTERS (136) SIBIKHAS
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 23 69 2 44 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
ROB A. REE 39-3241 45 30 1 194 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
MUCKER 42-3596 62 70 1 205 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI
WHIRLING WORD 48-3815 75 41 1 232 4-LETTER WORDS (1063) CAER
CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306 32 11 1 191 RAINDANCE (1106) TRICORUS
SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 34 23 3 165 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR
DR DAZZLE 57-4485 70 35 2 196 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR
SPEEDI 58-3029 112 86 3 249 SHAMROCKS (424) DELARQ TOR
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 53 24 1 219 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
2 62-2976 24 19 3 64 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
JACK BOY 82-2030 85 61 0 226 ON A WHIM (1014) DWES EG
TAPS 96-841 29 26 5 211 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119) OLD VALAMANTIS
ONE A DAY 98-799 28 23 3 209 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
FACE-TO-FACE XXXIV
Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday
through Sunday, 14-16 January 2005, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S
Rural Rd--this is the same hotel as last year). Room rates are $139.00 per night,
1-4 occupancy, which includes breakfast. The rooms are blocked. The reservations
number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with the "Reality Simulations Face to Face
Convention" block. Our room block will be released in mid-December, so please make
sure you reserve your room before then!
Room rates include a full cooked-to-order breakfast and a complimentary two-hour
manager's reception. There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.
The hotel is located down the freeway in Tempe. All rooms have high speed internet
(for an extra charge). There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a
bar and Mexican restaurant inside the hotel. And there's Denny's right across the
street. Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late
November/early December.
If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue. If you have,
you'll be back. Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast! See you there!
-- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff