DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 02/19/2005    Duedate: 03/04/2005

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-395

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 ODD SQUAD 69/1217    1184  431  7 73.3      BLADES OF CHAOS 5/961                 
    LEGENDS OF STEELE 1/1047                    BLADES OF MIST 4/959                  
    BLACK PRIMERS 82/1187                       BLADES OF STEEL 17/1211               
    THUNDR + LITENING 18/309                    BLADES OF GRASS 33/1215               
  2 MONGREL HORDE 10/964  494  239  3 67.4   12 NINJAS 7/1107          97  116  1 45.5
  3 LOCAL BEER 82/1219   1590 1266 17 55.7      FROM THE FACE 18/1213                 
    4-LETTER ITCHES 82/1218                     SCIENCE FICTION 6/1191                
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                 13 COSMIC FREAK 21/1225   61   89  0 40.7
    4-LETTER WORDS 48/1063                      MUSIC TO KILL BY 96/1119              
    STREET PIZZAD III 82/1190                14 BEAST MASTERS 37/136  161  238  3 40.4
    WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS 82/1114                 ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
    MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/1038                 KREWE OF DRUID 6/1186                 
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                        ACTS OF NATURE 6/415                  
  4 NUMBERS 62/937       1754 1481  7 54.2   15 SEA DOGS 18/328        41   62  2 39.8
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          THE CUTTHROATS 7/203                  
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                         16 DELVERS 42/1000       254  407  2 38.4
    MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188                     DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    DP CLONES 24/1045                           GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069               17 ISLE OF SKYE 59/876    17   28  0 37.8
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197               18-INDIFFERENCE 7/1194     3    5  0 37.5
    WASTELAND 18/468                            JEKYLL'S LAB 82/1199                  
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          RUN AND HYDE 18/1221                  
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                         19 JOHNS 5/927           836 1473 17 36.2
    SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                       SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         ARROGANCE 18/732                      
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
  5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1128  989  8 53.3   20 BIG BAD 7/1073        520  980  9 34.7
  6 QUBIT 10/1140         577  515  2 52.8      THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    ON A WHIM 82/1014                           NEXT GENERATION 18/1150               
    SIR AGLIO 10/600                            NEXT GENERATION 58/1075               
  7 TROOPERS 21/1113       28   26  2 51.9      BAD GERMS 28/1224                     
  8-WHOA! JUMP BA 10/763   80   77  1 51.0      FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
  9 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292  706  682  6 50.9      SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
    BEAN MACHINE 99/1202                        PUBLIC TRANSIT 62/1226                
 10 SHAMROCKS 58/424      178  172  3 50.9      VEGGIES 3/1227                        
 11 BLADES OF ICE 7/192   428  419  2 50.5   21 SONS OF SATA 21/1214    1    4  0 20.0
    BLADES OF DESTINY 60/1216                22 THUNDERSTRIKE 10/449    0    5  0  0.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Heroes of the Federation!

     In our one and only TV challenge this turn, WHIRLING WORD (48-3815) (78-41-
2,314) of 4-LETTER WORDS TV challenged DARK GUMBY (7-4694) (67-41-1,341) of WASTELAND 
II.  WHIRLING WORD devastated DARK GUMBY in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge Title 
fight.  And so we have a new Keeper of the Runeblade, which is just as well because 
we haven't been seeing any columns from Dark Gumby, have we?  Let's hope this 
formidable fighter can weave a wall of words in the newsletter as effectively as he 
weaves a wall of steel in the arena.
     I salute one pair of warriors who fought hard enough to kill or be killed!  TAPS 
(96-841) (30-28-5,184) of MUSIC TO KILL BY fought SUPER BUM (82-18411) (33-15-0,199) 
of FLAT BROKE.  TAPS was killed by SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 10 minute bloody 
fight.  Ten painful minutes, but a second lifetime of honor!
     Our overall popularity leader is still Crack is Cheap.  WHIRLING DOG (10-4177) 
(72-36-1,202) of MONGREL HORDE fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (30-15-0,182) of 
NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.  WHIRLING DOG viciously subdued CRACK IS CHEAP in a crowd 
pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.  It just goes to show that winning isn't necessarily 
the most impressive thing to the spectators here in Willow Beach.  They're looking 
for another Hansel.
     This turn's favorite warrior was Tum.  TUM (18-7380) (37-20-2,240) of FROM THE 
FACE challenged ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (56-24-1,244) of CEMENTIA.  TUM was 
overcome by ETCHED IN STONE in a popular 6 minute gruesome Challenge match.  He 
wasn't actually scummed although Etched certainly would have been capable of it.
     No one was happy with the performance of Stupid Sexy Flanders today.  Stupid 
dropped his weapon twice, and once got turned around and was looking for his opponent 
in the wrong direction!  That's a lot of screwing up in less than a minute.  EGIL 
SKALLAGRIMSON (59-1964) (24-12-1,85) of ISLE OF SKYE fought STUPID SEXY FLANDERS (42-
3836) (20-17-0,47) of I'M SO SEXY.  EGIL SKALLAGRIMSON handily defeated STUPID SEXY 
FLANDERS in a 1 minute contest.  Well, Stupid, hang in there.  You'll probably get 
better.
     Thundr + Litening was avoided by Wasteland II, the latter being a fine example 
of a manager using all the tools at his disposal.
     There were five challenges and forty-six total fights in Darkholm this turn.  
Ah... is the brightness waning for this shining star in the crown of the Federation?  
I hope not.
     A word of unsolicited advice, my countrymen: Be generous with your friendship, 
but very careful where you give your love.  An unwise love chains you to things you 
would rather not live with.  Remember: Love is a fine thing, but it is not the only 
thing.  Give some respect to your other values as well.
     And that, my dears, is that.  It's a short one but then it was a short fight 
day.  Till next fortnight!

                                                   Desiree (not my real name)

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       79  41  2  340  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          43  16  1  389  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         72  74  3  275  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     57  24  1  261  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SPEEDI 58-3029             115  87  3  248  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 DEORNE 7-2529               82  57  1  247  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          34  15  1  245  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 MUCKER 42-3596              65  71  2  232  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         57  53  1  229  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 BASS 5-3666                 63 104  2  226  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258   48  40  1  222  MY WIFE'S COSMETICS (1038) DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          64 120  6  221  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  57  49  0  221  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          108  69  1  220  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SMOOGIE 82-2247             18  14  1  219  STREET PIZZAD III (1190)   DWES EG
 RAZOX 7-2400                88  58  1  218  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 JACK BOY 82-2030            86  64  0  216  ON A WHIM (1014)           DWES EG
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        43  27  1  216  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        73  36  1  213  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       51  56  1  209  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SULTAN 10-4516              32   9  1  209  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 DR NUT 24-4254              67  41  2  206  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 TUM 18-7380                 37  21  2  206  FROM THE FACE (1213)       TALCAMA
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   101 106  0  202  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           73  36  2  202  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           53  55  1  202  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 DARK GUMBY 7-4694           67  42  1  201  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 JANAE 5-3867                64  49  3  200  BLADES OF CHAOS (961)      KALTOS
 PTI 7-5412                  33  16  0  198  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          74  73  0  197  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 ISHINOMORI 7-5390           38  13  1  197  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 A NEW PONY! 82-1306         34  38  0  197  WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114) DWES EG
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        30  24  1  197  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 RAMZA 7-4340                67  38  2  196  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 STARBUCK 6-5387             43  33  0  194  SCIENCE FICTION (1191)     TRANSEL
 BLUE 33-5776                30  19  1  194  BLADES OF GRASS (1215)     NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          51  75  1  193  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 THRENODY 4-4557             39  45  1  193  BLADES OF MIST (959)       JHELUM
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     30  16  0  192  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         39  79  2  191  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 TAPS 96-841                 30  29  5  191  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS
-SALESGUN 1-6745             27  40  2  191  LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047)   MORDANT
 SCHYLER 6-4866              63 101  1  190  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
-ANTONIO 10-2554             43  53  2  190  WHOA! JUMP BACK! (763)     KOLACT
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      82  68  2  189  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          27  31  2  189  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 TORNADO 6-2249              37  54  2  186  ACTS OF NATURE (415)       TRANSEL
 MIDNIGHT IMP 18-4731        96  69  3  185  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           31  24  1  185  BLADES OF MIST (959)       JHELUM
-CYCLOPS 7-4625              26  30  1  185  BIG BAD (1073)             BONSUR
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             27  33  2  184  THE CUTTHROATS (203)       BONSUR
 ONE A DAY 98-799            29  26  3  183  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 46 144  0  180  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 RENAE 7-4304                69  46  3  179  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 SUX0R 5-4560                31  13  0  176  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        30  37  0  173  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 COOLER 82-7277              40  35  1  172  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
-MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487         28   1  0  172  LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047)   MORDANT
 WIGGLER 18-8088             25   6  1  172  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 TOWER 7-4461                46  29  1  166  BLADES OF ICE (192)        BONSUR
 PEGASUS 6-4161              29  44  1  163  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 EMILY 17-5753               36  23  0  162  BLADES OF STEEL (1211)     ALJAFIR
 RED FUSION 6-5480           35   8  0  162  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      29  32  2  161  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 SUN TZU 59-310              30  19  3  160  ISLE OF SKYE (876)         ILLIS
 LINK 6-5144                 30  57  2  156  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 SMILES 21-3207              25  17  3  151  TROOPERS (1113)            SUNSET

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-GAMBLE 7-4884               20  14  2  150  INDIFFERENCE (1194)        BONSUR
-BORGUS BASHIMUS 58-6097     23  33  1  149  NEXT GENERATION (1075)     DELARQ TOR
 ASHANTI 6-5352              29  39  5  147  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        30  10  0  141  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           26  22  1  138  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 QUID PRO QUO 10-4794        37  26  1  130  QUBIT (1140)               KOLACT
 HITZ 82-10428               13   7  0  130  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 ENDYMION 6-4163             30  44  1  120  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         61  78  1  114  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BEAR 7-4628                 27  55  1   98  BIG BAD (1073)             BONSUR
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       25  20  0   96  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 FARGEN ICEHOLE 59-1938      20   7  1   96  ISLE OF SKYE (876)         ILLIS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-STRAFE 82-11158             25  15  0   92  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-RHINOVIRUS 28-3754          15   8  3   89  BAD GERMS (1224)           MORYA
 EGIL SKALLAGRIMSON 59-1964  25  12  1   88  ISLE OF SKYE (876)         ILLIS
-NARCISSISTIC NUN 69-8644    15   7  0   88  ODD SQUAD (1217)           CIMMERIAC
 YUENGLING 82-16265          16   5  1   87  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
-FREAK 18-7300               22  12  4   79  RUN AND HYDE (1221)        TALCAMA
 THE HIPPY 21-5701           15   7  0   79  COSMIC FREAK OUT (1225)    SUNSET
-SPEED MERCHANT 82-15079     18  21  5   78  JEKYLL'S LAB (1199)        DWES EG
 CYCLONE 10-2057             21  19  0   75  THUNDERSTRIKERS (449)      KOLACT
 JOCK 82-10452                9   6  0   70  4-LETTER ITCHES (1218)     DWES EG
 BRADEN 6-4867               61 103  1   69  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 I SEE SOUNDS 21-5704        17  14  1   65  COSMIC FREAK OUT (1225)    SUNSET
 HEAT 98-981                 14  12  4   62  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 HENRY VAN GIESON V 59-436   13   8  0   61  ISLE OF SKYE (876)         ILLIS
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            11  14  3   60  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       18   1  0   56  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 THANATAR 21-749             21  24  3   54  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 MINOS 21-5805               16   8  1   54  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
-BUS 62-4115                 15   7  1   53  PUBLIC TRANSIT (1226)      VALAMANTIS
-TRAIN 62-4114               14   9  1   52  PUBLIC TRANSIT (1226)      VALAMANTIS
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  20  18  0   50  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
-MALLIA 21-748               21  26  1   47  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    24  72  2   44  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         29  67  1   43  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 2 62-2976                   25  22  3   43  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 INSURRECTION 60-5607         6   9  0   43  BLADES OF DESTINY (1216)   ARADI
-GREEN BEAN 3-6419           10   3  1   34  VEGGIES (1227)             OSKSI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
TAPS 96-841                30  29  5 MUSIC TO KILL BY 1119  SUPER BUM 82-18411     395

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Numbered Won -- This is deeply disturbing.  My moves were clear and should have been
informative, yet you learned nothing!  You can't have been paying proper attention.
-- Tolais Deepheart

Renae -- I need nothing from you.  There is nothing you can teach me.  Bah. -- Life
of Osksi

Jack Boy -- Good try, but no seegar. -- Mucker
P.S.  You should be glad.  Those seegars aren't good for you.

Deck Swab -- Great!  When you're done, you can come do the floor at our guildhouse.
It could really use some swabbing. -- Maginot Mike

31 January 2005
     My fellow duelists I come before you bearing a sad and unfortunate message.
Several months ago our group, the Vendetta Cartel, had lost contact with one of our
friends.  Since he was in contact or correspondence on an almost daily basis there
was concern amongst us.  With some research two of our members discovered why contact
was lost with him.
     On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
ill.  You may have known Rich as Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest ; richh10 on the RT;
or gameogre on the Duel2 messageboard.  You may not have known that he spent 13 years
serving the United States in the Navy.
     Rich dearly loved this game and all it encompassed.  He may not have been the
best or most experienced manager but he loved to interact with others and was quick
to offer advice whenever anyone asked for help.  He was always kind and gracious and
tried to strengthen our game, often by helping new players feel welcome or give them
a chance to compete.  With his prolific posting I know that I am simply speaking the
obvious about what he did for our game.  Many, like me, were drawn to him, perhaps
for his kind nature or his sense of humor, and it appears he lived his life as he
played this game.  Always willing to help or do right by others.
     I realize that he had many friends outside the VC so I will include the link to
the news story in case any of his other friends would like to know more of what
happened.  We're all dealt a hand in life but it's not the strength of the hand
you're dealt but rather how you play it that really matters.  Rich played his hand to
the very best of his human ability and for this I admire him greatly.  I know we all
choose to like or dislike managers but I believe deep down we are all good and
decent, in this game, and will drop party (alliance) lines and will show the proper
respect.
     http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20041112/news_7m12clerk.html
     Rich was taken from us all to soon and with so much left to offer the community
around him.  He spoke of a desire to run a contest on the Duel2 site which I hope to
uphold in his name.  Some of the people I have spoken with think it would be a nice
gesture to do one final good act in Rich's name, though it could never match what he
would've done within his community, for his community of San Diego.  I hope that with
this contest we might raise a little money to donate to an appropriate charity within
San Diego in his name.
     In conclusion I send a message to Rich:
     "Rich, though I'm sure you gathered this I never really told you how much I
admired you and what a friend I considered you.  I thank you for being my voice of
reason and always reminding me of why we both loved this game so much!  You have
taught me one final valuable lesson in learning more of you.  There are things far
more valuable in life than material possessions such as character and kindness.  That
nothing going on in your life means that you cannot find a way to be kind and giving
to others.  We always spoke of meeting someday and until we finally do know that you
will live on in with me and the rest of your brothers and sisters in the Cartel:
Master Darque, Kat, Bum, Sensei Jan, Maximillian, Hammer, Fizban, Firehawk, Phat
Phat.  You increased all of our enjoyment of this game, you were a true ambassador of
Duelmasters, and the game will not be quite the same without you.  A farewell battle
cry from the ZalCon:  'Confusion to our enemies'.  May your soul rest in peace, my
friend."
     Should anyone wish to correspond about Rich feel free to contact myself, or
anyone else within the Vendetta Cartel.
     Street Legal
     Jeff Bura
     The Death Squad(63) in Tobir or triumph1971@hotmail.com

31 January 2005
     Be it known throughout Alastari that Hammer is no longer a member of the
Vendetta Cartel alliance.
     A difference of opinion with another highly respected member of the VC due to my
recent vocal actions in DM 47 can only be resolved by my resignation from the VC as
of January 29, 2005.
     I leave of my own accord, in good standing with all members and with no hard
feelings towards anyone in the Vendetta Cartel.
     There was a time when I felt that my membership in the VC made the alliance
stronger.  I know that my resignation today makes the Vendetta Cartel a stronger
alliance with my absence. -- Hammer

1 February 2005
                           St. Valentine's Massacre update
My apologies, the Kill Contest starting on turn 476 in Jhans will run for 10 (ten)
turns ending on turn number 486.
                                                                   Azrael

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WHIRLING WORD devastated DARK GUMBY in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
TUM was overcome by ETCHED IN STONE in a popular 6 minute gruesome Challenge match.
NUMBERED WON was bested by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a popular 1 minute Challenge contest.
THE HIPPY defeated BRADEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
I SEE SOUNDS devastated WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MUCKER devastated GRINGOLD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
SPEEDI overpowered A NEW PONY! in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
SCHYLER lost to PTI in a popular 1 minute duel.
BLACK WIDOW viciously subdued ONE A DAY in a popular 3 minute gory duel.
MISS HONEY was overpowered by JAKUCHU ITO in a popular 1 minute one-sided melee.
ROLEX WATCH subdued NEOSPHINCTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
A DIFFERENT GRAPE viciously subdued THRENODY in a exciting 8 minute brutal contest.
DEORNE devastated HE HATE ME in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH handily defeated TORNADO in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MIDNIGHT IMP was overpowered by DOC STEELE in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
WHIRLING DOG viciously subdued CRACK IS CHEAP in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.
SULTAN savagely defeated SUX0R in a exciting 3 minute brutal match.
TAPS was killed by SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 10 minute bloody fight.
ISHINOMORI was devastated by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CLEANER WRASSE was vanquished by SMOOGIE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
JANAE was viciously subdued by MIMIC BLENNY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory fray.
DUSKY JAWFISH savagely defeated TOWER in a popular 2 minute gruesome fight.
BASS overpowered RENAE in a popular 1 minute gory uneven fight.
RAMZA was savagely defeated by JACK BOY in a exciting 5 minute gruesome melee.
DR NUT viciously subdued BLUE in a action packed 2 minute brutal bout.
RAZOX handily defeated SHINY PENNY in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
STARBUCK overpowered PEGASUS in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
OBSESSIVE defeated LIFE in a exciting 2 minute gory match.
DR DAZZLE overpowered COOLER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
REDEMPTION overpowered SUN TZU in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
QUID PRO QUO was bested by FRIED TWINKIE in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
EMILY was demolished by DOC STEELE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
WENT TO MARKET was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in a popular 3 minute brutal fray.
SMILES was demolished by WIGGLER in a action packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.
ASHANTI overpowered MAGINOT MIKE in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
HITZ demolished TASTY HANGNAIL in a 1 minute uneven competition.
LINK luckily beat DECK SWAB in a exciting 2 minute fight.
BEAR was vanquished by ENDYMION in a exciting 1 minute mismatched duel.
CYCLONE was handily defeated by FARGEN ICEHOLE in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
FRIJOLE! overpowered DEBBY TONTE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HEAT overcame THANATAR in a exciting 3 minute gory match.
YUENGLING demolished BOB, ETERNAL, in a popular 1 minute gory uneven fight.
JOCK handily defeated INSURRECTION in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
MINOS subdued MEN WORKING in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal match.
2 was savagely defeated by HENRY VAN GIESON V in a popular 3 minute gory battle.
EGIL SKALLAGRIMSON handily defeated STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  27         WALL OF STEEL     80 -  42 -  1      66  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         TOTAL PARRY       70 -  52 -  1      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         LUNGING ATTACK   136 - 108 -  6      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 11         SLASHING ATTACK   40 -  41 -  0      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  17 -  0      45  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        42 -  54 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  30 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  14 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         BASHING ATTACK    15 -  51 -  0      23  |

Turn 395 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        7 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  6         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         4  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK    17 - 10     AIMED BLOW         2 -  9         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    WHIRLING WORD 48-3815      79  41  2  340 4-LETTER WORDS (1063)
LUNGING ATTACK   JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102         43  16  1  389 NINJAS (1107)
SLASHING ATTACK  BLACK WIDOW 37-1303        72  74  3  275 BEAST MASTERS (136)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    57  24  1  261 CEMENTIA (1112)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         108  69  1  220 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-LUNGE      SULTAN 10-4516             32   9  1  209 SIR AGLIO (600)
AIMED BLOW       A NEW PONY! 82-1306        34  38  0  197 WHAT I ATE FOR XMAS (1114)
BASHING ATTACK   SHINY PENNY 32-3789        39  79  2  191 FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TAPS 96-841                30  29  5  191 MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was TUM 18-7380.  The ten other most popular fighters were TAPS 96-841, 
BLACK WIDOW 37-1303, A DIFFERENT GRAPE 82-1258, WHIRLING DOG 10-4177, JACK BOY 
82-2030, QUID PRO QUO 10-4794, RAMZA 7-4340, HENRY VAN GIESON V 59-436, WHIRLING WORD 
48-3815, and THRENODY 4-4557.

The least popular fighter this week was STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were MEN WORKING 38-4189, BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460, CYCLONE 
10-2057, MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509, EMILY 17-5753, SUN TZU 59-310, ISHINOMORI 7-5390, A NEW 
PONY! 82-1306, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, and BRADEN 6-4867.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       2  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  2 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  ILLIS(59)            3  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            2  2 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  0  1 0  ARADI(60)            0  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           5  4 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  8 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           2  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  3 0  DWES EG(82)          7  3 1  
ALJAFIR(17)          0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           2  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          7  7 0  CAER(48)             1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           3  2 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 46 144  0  180  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 THRENODY 4-4557             39  45  1  193  BLADES OF MIST (959)       JHELUM

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BASS 5-3666                 63 104  2  226  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 STARBUCK 6-5387             43  33  0  194  SCIENCE FICTION (1191)     TRANSEL
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          43  16  1  389  NINJAS (1107)              BONSUR
 WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        73  36  1  213  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT
 EMILY 17-5753               36  23  0  162  BLADES OF STEEL (1211)     ALJAFIR
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          64 120  6  221  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 SMILES 21-3207              25  17  3  151  TROOPERS (1113)            SUNSET
 DR NUT 24-4254              67  41  2  206  DP CLONES (1045)           ZORPUNT
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      29  32  2  161  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         57  53  1  229  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 BLUE 33-5776                30  19  1  194  BLADES OF GRASS (1215)     NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          74  73  0  197  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BLACK WIDOW 37-1303         72  74  3  275  BEAST MASTERS (136)        SIBIKHAS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       18   1  0   56  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 MUCKER 42-3596              65  71  2  232  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 WHIRLING WORD 48-3815       79  41  2  340  4-LETTER WORDS (1063)      CAER
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           73  36  2  202  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 SPEEDI 58-3029             115  87  3  248  SHAMROCKS (424)            DELARQ TOR
 SUN TZU 59-310              30  19  3  160  ISLE OF SKYE (876)         ILLIS
 INSURRECTION 60-5607         6   9  0   43  BLADES OF DESTINY (1216)   ARADI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     57  24  1  261  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   25  22  3   43  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          34  15  1  245  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 TAPS 96-841                 30  29  5  191  MUSIC TO KILL BY (1119)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 ONE A DAY 98-799            29  26  3  183  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            11  14  3   60  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)