DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 10/01/2005    Duedate: 10/14/2005

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-411

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1223  438  7 73.6      JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                
    LEGENDS OF STEELE 1/1047                  7 BIG LAKE BONE 69/529  228  197  3 53.6
    THUNDR + LITENING 18/309                  8 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1136  997  8 53.3
  2 MONGREL HORDE 10/964  502  247  3 67.0    9 SIR AGLIO 10/600      592  525  2 53.0
  3 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1653 1308 19 55.8      JOKA MASHER 82/1055                   
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237               10 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202  772  719  6 51.8
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                          BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                  
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                    CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                     11 KREWE OF DRUI 6/1186  195  278  5 41.2
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                    ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
  4-THE NATURALS 21/1113   35   28  2 55.6   12 SEA DOGS 7/203         58   85  3 40.6
  5-UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212    5    4  0 55.6      SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
  6 NUTS 82/1240         1938 1633  7 54.3      SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                    13 DELVERS 42/1000       279  446  2 38.5
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                  GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                         14 JOHNS 5/927           879 1558 17 36.1
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        ARROGANCE 18/732                      
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    WASTELAND 18/468                            JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    NUMBERS 62/937                           15 SONS OF SATA 21/1214   10   19  1 34.5
    WASTELAND II 7/500                       16 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150  544 1037 10 34.4
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188                     FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200               
    I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239                 17-THE DREAMING 36/1233    0    2  0  0.0
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                   

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 528): BRICK WALL of HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 412): MELLITA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 536): BLACK WIDOW of MISTRESS 4 XMAS (Angus, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 532): VANGUARD of ORCCON THUGS (DMobster, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 531): BULL DURHAM of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 535): COOKIE FOR THE SOUL of HOLE IN THE WALL (The Muffin Man)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 531): HAILSTORM of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 527): SIR REALISTIC of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 517): WOMAN AT THE WELL of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 516): BAUMGARTEN of I MAGI (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 490): FRANKENSLOSH of HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 480): GUHULONG of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 212): DUCK A L'ORANGE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 469): OSTMAN of WAY OF THE SWORD A3 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 417): DELANGE of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 199): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 187): EVANGELION of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 367): DOC FELLE of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 163): DRUWEZ of GLACIATION GUILD II (Sir Chester, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 410): WIGGLER of THUNDR + LITENING from TALCAMA (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 528): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 412): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 536): GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 532): HARMONY (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 531): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 535): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 531): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 527): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 517): NEXT GENERATION (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 516): BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 490): KAMIKAZI (Nemesis, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 480): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 212): LITERATI (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 469): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 417): ALL-UGLY TEAM (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 199): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 187): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 367): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 163): TWISTED SISTERS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 410): BLACK PRIMER, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 531): CYCLONE of FURY'S EDGE (Fury, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 531): BULL DURHAM of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
               (turn 530): THE IMPECCABLE PIG of JUST DON'T CARE (The Muffin Man)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 526): QUADRICEPS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
                           IVAN MASHMINAPLP of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 517): WOMAN AT THE WELL of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
                            SINDARION of UNTOUCHABLES (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 516): BAUMGARTEN of I MAGI (Street Legal, mgr.)
               (turn 515): HORNS of BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 479): DINGIL BILL of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 416): FISTS OF FURY of RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 198): FRED WEASLEY of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Godric Gryffindor)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 187): EVANGELION of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                      Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade

Hello, Darkholm!

Turn seven of my reign.  Do you all realize that since I announced my willingness to
TV whoever asked me to, that _none_ of you has obliged!?!  It's getting embarrassing.
Is the chance at the Throne not worth the risk?  You Challenger Champs should be
ashamed of yourselves.  Just in case you forgot, you are all immortal, so I can't
kill you in our fight permanently.  I have an 8 CON, as Rattlesnake Shake will tell
you, all you have to do is lay some steel on me and I will go down.  Cowards!

I have nothing further to say until someone speaks up about something.

Wiggler, Legion4

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Heroes of the Federation!  (smiling)

     Thundr + Litening (guild #1 today) were avoided by Wasteland (#6).  I wonder if
that means some of the Grand Challenger Champions were avoiding Wiggler?  Mumphy
Chick was most challenged.  MUMPHY CHICK (1-5487) (30-2-0,181) of LEGENDS OF STEELE
TV challenged DUSKY JAWFISH (18-6978) (61-61-1,199) of BIG MEAN FISH.  MUMPHY CHICK
was savagely defeated by DUSKY JAWFISH in a 7 minute Challenge melee.  Looks to me
like M.C. was hoping to learn something.  I imagine she did.
     Well, Wiggler used his TV challenge again.  And I note in his Keeper's column
(Thank you so much, Wiggler!) that he will TV challenge anyone who asks, so they can
try for the title.  Why doesn't someone ask?  I see several likely-looking warriors
in the Grand Challenger Champions.  There are FOUR Big Mean Fish.  Big Wave Dave, why
don't you try for the top with one of them?  Or No No I'm Sparticus.  Why not prove
that you really are Sparticus?  Although the real one might spell it differently.
Anyway, let's look at the numbers on that title fight.  (bah!  I hate numbers!)
WIGGLER (18-8088) (40-6-1,438) of THUNDR + LITENING TV challenged TOLAIS DEEPHEART
(42-1620) (109-113-0,223) of DELVERS.  WIGGLER devastated TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.  Hmm, "mismatched" is right.  I'm sorry,
maybe Wiggler needed a rest.  But Wiggler, Tolais is only supposed to fight
Assurnasirbanipal's bashers.
     You Grand Challenger Champs, I know aimed blow practitioners are scary, and I
know it takes a little patience to get coordinated for this sort of thing; anything
can happen in the two turns it would take to have your request published and to
receive a challenge.  But it's not that hard.  Next turn, I want to see at least one
request in the personal ads for Wiggler to TV challenge someone.  Come on, what have
you got to lose?  We all want to see that fight!  Mahi Mahi!  You Top Striker you, go
for it!
     That accounts for two of our three TV challenges this turn.  Here's the third:
HEAT (98-981) (24-17-4,174) of WHAT A TREAT TV challenged SMUNCH (18-8337) (22-2-
0,152) of THUNDR + LITENING.  HEAT vanquished SMUNCH in a popular 1 minute mismatched
Challenge brawl.
     CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (34-27-0,150) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought DESIREE
(104-23) (20-15-4,150) of  Arena Stand-ins.  CRACK IS CHEAP luckily beat DESIREE in a
crowd pleasing 4 minute brutal match.  (sighing)  I had forgotten I was still on the
stand-in list.  Imagine my surprise when I was sitting there comfortably on my
cushions, taking my little notes on the fights, and along comes a Commission errand
boy to tell me I have to fight.  Well, Crack, I got to see your pretty moves up
close, and I'll tell you something.  A sensational, spinning wind-up isn't nearly so
pretty when it ends with a blade cutting my leg!  Owww!  Yes, the infirmary has
really good healers but...ow!  I've got to get myself off that list.
     If I had to be in a fight, I'd rather get scummed like Miss Honey.  ONE A DAY
(98-799) (38-32-3,203) of MY DRUGS fought MISS HONEY (36-4850) (80-82-0,189) of
SCARRY TEAM.  ONE A DAY unbelievably bested MISS HONEY in a crowd pleasing 7 minute
competition.
     Here's another scumfest but the crowd wasn't so sympathetic to Uber as they were
to Miss Honey.  UBER GOOBER (82-26198) (18-16-0,39) of NUTS fought KUNG PAO KITTY
(97-1310) (3-13-3,51) of CUTE & KINDA DEADLY.  UBER GOOBER was outlasted by KUNG PAO
KITTY in an action packed 7 minute bloody duel.  It was action packed and bloody,
sure, but a lot of that was disastrous fumbles and other mistakes.  Tsk.  Hang in
there, Uber, you'll get better.
     There was one death this turn.  All right, I'm sorry about it.  Yes, it means
two warriors fought hard enough to kill and to be killed.  But it also means someone
woke up on that dreadful table, after horrible dreams and feeling like they have ten
cases of the flu at once.  You'll get back to normal, Twink.  It just takes a few
weeks.  Meanwhile, eat chocolate.  NUMBERED WON (18-7434) (35-47-0,171) of NEXT
GENERATION fought FRIED TWINKIE (5-4562) (34-21-0,114) of MORE NEW TEAMS 2.  NUMBERED
WON murdered FRIED TWINKIE in a popular 1 minute uneven contest.
     That's all.  I want to thank Nick's warriors for writing personal ads.  I don't
think they'll be the only ones next time.  There SHOULD be at least a couple of
requests for a TV challenge from Wiggler.
     Unsolicited advice:  Nothing will keep you awake like that little whine going
past your ear.  Mosquitoes are not infinite.  Seal the area.  Turn up the lights.
Hunt them down and kill them all.  Then, sleep well.  The exception is if dogs sleep
in the room with you.  If you seal the room, it will fill up with dog breath.  Or
worse.

                                       With a smile and a wave,
                                        Desiree (not my real name)

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WIGGLER 18-8088             41   6  1  449  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          121  72  1  321  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        39  31  1  319  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        54  32  1  230  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     67  30  1  228  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          42  23  1  228  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 BASS 5-3666                 73 110  2  227  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 HEART 97-1096               26  23  4  221  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 NO NO IM SPARTICUS 69-311   42  21  0  217  BIG LAKE BONEHEADS (529)   CIMMERIAC
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       62  61  1  216  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  66  56  0  214  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 SULTAN 10-4516              41  15  1  211  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        36  47  1  210  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           87  38  2  209  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         67  59  2  208  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 ONE A DAY 98-799            39  32  3  208  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 SCHYLER 6-4866              69 111  1  207  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          56  86  1  207  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          32  42  2  206  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 ASSAULT 82-2043             74  42  1  205  JOKA MASHER (1055)         DWES EG
 WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        81  44  1  203  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          68 132  6  203  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       33  28  0  202  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 GOKU 7-5628                 27   6  0  202  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           64  60  1  201  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
-KYLIE 18-6057               35  30  1  201  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   109 114  0  199  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             33  43  2  198  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 PTI 7-5412                  40  25  0  196  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 HITZ 82-10428               21  13  0  194  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277              48  43  1  193  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          80  83  0  192  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 MUCKER 42-3596              74  78  2  192  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 ENDYMION 6-4163             35  55  2  190  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 HEAT 98-981                 25  17  4  189  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       30   5  0  188  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      91  75  2  187  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         65  90  1  185  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  32  22  0  185  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      35  42  2  184  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 LIFE 3-4196                 50 156  0  182  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487         30   3  0  182  LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047)   MORDANT
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         44  90  2  181  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            23  18  3  181  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  22   9  2  177  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 LINK 6-5144                 35  68  2  176  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           32  32  2  176  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           42  17  0  174  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 YUENGLING 82-16265          23  11  1  174  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 2 62-2976                   36  27  3  173  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
-SMILES 21-3207              29  18  3  166  THE NATURALS XI (1113)     SUNSET
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     35  27  0  159  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 FEAR 82-10416               32  49  1  159  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG
 ASHANTI 6-5352              37  47  6  157  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SMUNCH 18-8337              22   3  0  150  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 MINOS 21-5805               20  16  2  143  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            35  25  0  134  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 BRADEN 6-4867               67 113  1  130  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 PEGASUS 6-4161              33  56  1  129  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        34  22  0  118  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 GOHAN 18-8449               28  14  1  115  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MUTINEER 7-2607             29  18  2  112  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RONALD REAGAN 21-1588       25  25  0   97  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 STRAFE 82-11158             36  18  0   93  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
 PUD 126 82-22024            28  14  0   91  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
-A. CAPONE 18-3228           16  17  3   91  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         31  81  1   83  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
-SUIGENERIS 21-5545          15   6  1   83  THE NATURALS XI (1113)     SUNSET
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    28  84  2   82  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
-SINDARION 18-8499           22  10  1   77  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
-WOMAN AT THE WELL 18-8583   19  12  0   69  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
-PRIME SLIME 21-5522         14  11  0   69  THE NATURALS XI (1113)     SUNSET
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   17   6  0   67  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       11   1  3   62  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           21  16  0   59  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
-WILL THE BIKER 18-8290      17   5  1   57  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310       4  13  3   57  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
 BOZO 42-4016                22  44  0   48  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
-THE LOVE BELOW 36-6187      15   8  2   45  THE DREAMING (1233)        JHANS
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       18   7  0   37  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        18  17  0   37  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562       34  22  0 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 1188  NUMBERED WON 18-7434   411

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

No No Im Sparticus -- Your name is too long, and your team name is too long, and you
should SUFFER for this. -- Tolais Deepheart

Went To Market -- Why didn't anybody buy you?  I could appreciate you more in the
form of sausages. -- Life of Osksi

Yuengling -- Experience and cunning beats youth and talent. -- Mucker

Schyler -- Get out of here!  I'm only supposed to fight Assur's bashers. -- Maginot
Mike

     Mike -- I didn't know that!  I'll speak to the Commission about it at once. --
     Desiree

15 September 2005
                             HAMMER ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

     Be it known from the highest mountains to the darkest alleys of Alastari that
the veteran manager known far and wide as Hammer has now officially retired from
sponsoring contests as of September 15, 2005.
     What a long time ago was a fun motivated activity to help promote our common
DM/D2 gaming interest in an effort to promote the growth and competitiveness of
selected arenas has become a far from fun experience.
     In other words Hammer has had it!
     The combination of real life situations interfering with the time needed to
effectively sponsor a contest, plus the attitudes expressed during such sponsorship
interference has led to Hammer closing his personal coin coffers and retiring from
his planned sponsorship of any future contests.
     There are others in our close knit gaming community who are well able to step up
to the plate and continue sponsoring contests that make the basic game a fun
experience for all those who choose to compete and interact in such future endeavors.
     Hammer thanks all managers both active and inactive who helped to make the
Hammer sponsored contests a historical and entertaining experience well worth the
time, effort and money spent over the past several years.
     May the Cheers and the Jeers of future contests build upon the legacies of those
who have paved the way in years gone by to help make this game what it is today.
     Hammer has no regrets for the part he has played in that history.

19 September 2005
I'd like to say hello to everyone I know that is still around after my being gone for
five years.  Hope to see you all on the sands, and may your weapons strike true and
your shields protect you (except, of course, against MY warriors *grin*)!! -- Lord
Xiang, D2-101

26 September 2005
Regarding the Regional News:
     If any of y'all glance at it and find some arenas are behind, rest assured I'll
get them caught up next time around.  I was trying to unsnarl the darned thing, but
it was just getting worse, so I decided gradual and partial was better than not at
all or ever. -- The Saint, keeper of lists

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WIGGLER devastated TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
MUMPHY CHICK was savagely defeated by DUSKY JAWFISH in a 7 minute Challenge melee.
HEAT vanquished SMUNCH in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
HE HATE ME overpowered LIFE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute mismatched Challenge match.
GOHAN overpowered RONALD REAGAN in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
STRAFE bested WORK IN PROGRESS in a popular 2 minute Challenge competition.
HITZ was handily defeated by NO NO IM SPARTICUS in a 1 minute uneven melee.
ETCHED IN STONE defeated DOC STEELE in a action packed 5 minute duel.
MUCKER was defeated by OBSESSIVE in a exciting 1 minute fight.
BOB, ETERNAL, was handily defeated by HEART in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
GRINGOLD was bested by NEOSPHINCTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute conflict.
PTI was demolished by MIMIC BLENNY in a popular 2 minute bloody mismatched match.
BASS handily defeated THE CUTICLE DANCE in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
MAHI MAHI devastated TASTY HANGNAIL in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
CLEANER WRASSE was bested by SCHYLER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH overpowered COOLER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
DECK SWAB was narrowly defeated by MAGINOT MIKE in a popular 2 minute match.
ONE A DAY unbelievably bested MISS HONEY in a crowd pleasing 7 minute competition.
SULTAN overpowered WENT TO MARKET in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
WHIRLING DOG was viciously subdued by SUPER BUM in a action packed 3 minute duel.
GOKU overpowered SHINY PENNY in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
ROLEX WATCH vanquished ENDYMION in a 1 minute one-sided match.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS won victory over LAUGHING BARMAID in a popular 1 minute fight.
DR DAZZLE demolished LINK in a action packed 1 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
ASSAULT savagely defeated RED FUSION in a exciting 5 minute bloody fray.
FEAR was vanquished by FRIJOLE! in a popular 2 minute one-sided bout.
YUENGLING was vanquished by DOC STEELE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
2 narrowly defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a popular 4 minute brutal fight.
MINOS was beaten by ASHANTI in a action packed 1 minute bout.
NUMBERED WON murdered FRIED TWINKIE in a popular 1 minute uneven contest.
PEGASUS was unbelievably bested by BRICKTOP in a exciting 2 minute battle.
BRADEN bested MUTINEER in a action packed 3 minute gory bout.
CRACK IS CHEAP luckily beat DESIREE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute brutal match.
BOZO was vanquished by THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PUD 126 viciously subdued DEBBY TONTE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal bout.
MEN WORKING handily defeated MANUTE BOL in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
UBER GOOBER was outlasted by KUNG PAO KITTY in a action packed 7 minute bloody duel.
SUSHI SLINGER demolished I WET MY BED! in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  21         STRIKING ATTACK   18 -   3 -  0      86  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     13         AIMED BLOW        72 -  40 -  1      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         WALL OF STEEL     49 -  33 -  0      60  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         LUNGING ATTACK   115 -  98 -  1      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -   9 -  0      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         TOTAL PARRY       50 -  61 -  0      45  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  36 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   8 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  49 -  0      21  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 411 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         8 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK    12 -  9     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       WIGGLER 18-8088            41   6  1  449 THUNDR + LITENING (309)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         121  72  1  321 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
LUNGING ATTACK   MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541       54  32  1  230 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    67  30  1  228 CEMENTIA (1112)
SLASHING ATTACK  HEART 97-1096              26  23  4  221 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)
PARRY-LUNGE      SULTAN 10-4516             41  15  1  211 SIR AGLIO (600)
WALL OF STEEL    ROLEX WATCH 32-3732        67  59  2  208 LUST MUPPETS (1036)
BASHING ATTACK   WENT TO MARKET 25-4288     35  42  2  184 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   28  84  2   82 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was MISS HONEY 36-4850.  The ten other most popular fighters were ASSAULT 
82-2043, DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978, DOC STEELE 18-6808, MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541, ONE A DAY 
98-799, WHIRLING DOG 10-4177, BRADEN 6-4867, PUD 126 82-22024, NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317, 
and HE HATE ME 18-7820.

The least popular fighter this week was UBER GOOBER 82-26198.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BOZO 42-4016, ENDYMION 6-4163, HITZ 82-10428, I WET MY BED! 
14-4052, MANUTE BOL 5-4233, FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562, YUENGLING 82-16265, LINK 6-5144, 
SHINY PENNY 32-3789, and BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  SUNSET(21)           0  2 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        0  1 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       1  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            2  2 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          5  6 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  4 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  4 0  RODEKI(42)           1  3 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  1 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     2  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)         11  4 1  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487         30   3  0  182  LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047)   MORDANT
 LIFE 3-4196                 50 156  0  182  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         65  90  1  185  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 BASS 5-3666                 73 110  2  227  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866              69 111  1  207  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       33  28  0  202  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 SULTAN 10-4516              41  15  1  211  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       18   7  0   37  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 WIGGLER 18-8088             41   6  1  449  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 MINOS 21-5805               20  16  2  143  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      35  42  2  184  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         67  59  2  208  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          80  83  0  192  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       30   5  0  188  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   109 114  0  199  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           87  38  2  209  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           64  60  1  201  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     67  30  1  228  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   36  27  3  173  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 NO NO IM SPARTICUS 69-311   42  21  0  217  BIG LAKE BONEHEADS (529)   CIMMERIAC
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          42  23  1  228  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       11   1  3   62  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096               26  23  4  221  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799            39  32  3  208  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            23  18  3  181  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE