DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 10/29/2005    Duedate: 11/11/2005

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-413

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1229  439  7 73.7      SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                 
    LEGENDS OF STEELE 1/1047                  5 BIG LAKE BONE 69/529  229  198  3 53.6
    THUNDR + LITENING 18/309                  6 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1136  999  8 53.2
  2-MONGREL HORDE 10/964  502  248  3 66.9    7 SIR AGLIO 10/600      595  526  2 53.1
  3 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1658 1312 19 55.8      JOKA MASHER 82/1055                   
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                  8 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202  779  726  6 51.8
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237                  BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                  
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                          CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                      9 SEA DOGS 7/203         63   90  3 41.2
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                    SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
  4 NUTS 82/1240         1962 1655  7 54.2      SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069               10 KREWE OF DRUI 6/1186  197  284  5 41.0
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            ELEMENTS OF PSI 58/423                
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                         11 DELVERS 42/1000       283  450  2 38.6
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239                 12 JOHNS 5/927           887 1566 17 36.2
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        ARROGANCE 18/732                      
    WASTELAND 18/468                            SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    NUMBERS 62/937                              THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                      13-SONS OF SATA 21/1214   10   19  1 34.5
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                         14 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150  548 1043 10 34.4
    MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188                     THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                         SUPER BASH BROTHERS 6/1067            
    JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                      CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 530): FLAIR of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 415): MELLITA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 538): NOTTHUR of SORCERY COVENANT (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 534): TRAUMER of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 533): HOFFA of JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 537): COOKIE FOR THE SOUL of HOLE IN THE WALL (The Muffin Man)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 534): SWEATY of BRAIN (LHI, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 529): SIR REALISTIC of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 520): BOOKIE of ARROGANCE (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 519): ASHANDAR of AGE OF EMPIRE (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 493): FRANKENSLOSH of HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 483): GUHULONG of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 213): OUTLAW STAR of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 471): OSTMAN of WAY OF THE SWORD A3 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 419): HARZOGH of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 200): VIRET of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 188): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 369): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 165): KOOL AID of LIQUIDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 412): WIGGLER of THUNDR + LITENING from TALCAMA (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 530): WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 415): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 538): SORCERY COVENANT (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 534): HARMONY (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 533): EVEREST LLP (?, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 537): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 534): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 529): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 520): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 519): AGE OF EMPIRE (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 493): ABSTRACT (Xerxes, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 483): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 213): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 471): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 419): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 200): CARESS OF STEEL (Maximillian, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 188): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 369): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 165): TWISTED SISTERS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 412): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 538): NOTTHUR of SORCERY COVENANT (Visionist, mgr.)
              (turn 537): WIRLITZ of SORCERY COVENANT (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 533): PUSSY-FOOTED of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 537): COOKIE FOR THE SOUL of HOLE IN THE WALL (The Muffin Man)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 533): HAILSTORM of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 529): SIR REALISTIC of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 519): ALTON of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.)
                            BILLY THE SQUID of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 419): HARZOGH of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 187): EVANGELION of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 369): DOC FELLE of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                      Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade

Hello, Darkholm!

Turn nine of my reign.  Since still no one has stepped up and asked for my TV, so I
have decided to rid the Challenger Champions of every TP.  It is ridiculous to see
them that highly ranked in this, the era of the Aimed Blow.  I know they will be
avoiding, so I'll probably get a random match up but at least I have a mission.

Speaking of missions, Desiree I would like to official volunteer for whatever
adventure you have in mind.  I'll consider it one last blast before getting shipped
off to Primus.  Lead on!

Tolais -- Of course a title shot for you.  You fought your way to the Challenger
Champs in Darkholm, why not get a sniff of the Runeblade.  Best of luck with Assur's
bashers.

Muffin Man -- Doc Steele got on me a bit about my last column.  I guess you and Doc
are friends and I was apparently a bit harsh with all that immigration to Andorak
talk.  Not that I do not think you should cowboy-up a bit, but my apologies for going
overboard on my rant.

Arrogance -- I see several "Doc Steele" warriors running around.  Try to get one in
the Challenger Champs for me.  I think it would be funny to fight a warrior named Doc
Steele.

Tolais -- Thanks for getting my back on the whole "she is a girl" issue.

Desiree again -- Seriously, I do not know where to begin with you missing the fact
that I was a girl!  We'll just say it is all the bulky armor and move on I guess.

Desiree yet again -- I hope to do well in Primus.  According to Doc Steele, I was
specifically trained and magically enhanced to target top end Primus play.  The
commission rates me as +4 attack, and +4 defense, with stats of 12(4)-8(5)-7-25(4)-
25(4)-7(3)-25(4).  I was magically altered so that I will achieve the maximum damage
possible in Primus.  Once I get that max damage, I guess I have to be shrunk down to
like 5' tall, but that is like 10 years from now.  Oh, and Doc just gave me an early
Christmas present, one of those cool favorites potions, so apparently that is all I
need to be competitive in Primus.  For my part, I am looking forward to continuing my
career in the Contenders before I worry about Primus.  I owe Doc a TC for choking in
the Eligibles against Rattlesnake Shake.  Now that I think about it, there is a lot
of pressure on me to bag some TCs for the family.  That's cool though, I can handle
it.  Thanks for asking.  Check out the Contenders tourney list in about a year, and
hopefully I will be banging with the heavy weights deep in the tourney.  There are
some really talented warriors just kind of parked there, so I look forward to the
challenge.

Wiggler, Legion4

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Brave warriors of the Federation!

     It's a pleasure to see you all again.  I have no tourney news, but I see that
Wiggler is still with us, which I THINK means she didn't get inducted.  Huzzah!
     Thank you, Wiggler, for another fine column.  And I do look forward to cheering
you on in Primus.  I see that you did well today.  WIGGLER (18-8088) (42-6-1,472) of
THUNDR + LITENING TV challenged ONE A DAY (98-799) (40-32-3,240) of MY DRUGS.
WIGGLER devastated ONE A DAY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
     Our other adventure volunteer won his fight, too.  HEAT (98-981) (25-18-4,187)
of WHAT A TREAT TV challenged GRINGOLD (7-2416) (34-43-2,208) of SEA DOGS.  HEAT was
viciously subdued by GRINGOLD in a popular 3 minute gruesome Challenge match.  Well
done, Gringold.
     Sea Dogs didn't fare as well in our third TV challenge this turn.  GOHAN (18-
8449) (29-14-1,152) of WASTELAND TV challenged MUTINEER (7-2607) (30-18-2,155) of SEA
DOGS.  GOHAN bested MUTINEER in a popular 2 minute Challenge contest.
     Oh, let's see... Fried Twinkie was our most challenged warrior.  SMUNCH (18-
8337) (23-3-0,161) of THUNDR + LITENING challenged FRIED TWINKIE (5-4562) (34-23-
0,122) of MORE NEW TEAMS 2.  SMUNCH savagely defeated FRIED TWINKIE in an exciting 6
minute Challenge struggle.  Smunch, that was a very... practical challenge.  With a
record like yours, though, I think you could be a bit braver.
     No one was killed this turn.  That's all right.
     Our overall popularity leader is still the exciting Crack is Cheap.  CRACK IS
CHEAP (82-18422) (35-28-0,165) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought BRADEN (6-4867) (68-113-
1,170) of THE LADY'S LIST.  CRACK IS CHEAP luckily beat BRADEN in an exciting 9
minute gory match.  Nice moves there, C.  And this turn's favorite is Braden!
     And this turn's least favorite is Bozo.  BOZO (42-4016) (22-45-0,48) of CLOWNING
AROUND fought MANUTE BOL (5-4233) (22-16-0,62) of LARGE LOSERS.  The people of Willow
Beach don't like to see what looks to them like utter incompetence.  We arena folks
know that when you first come to the Isle, it's hard to adjust and most warriors lose
a lot.  Some are simply destined for Home Guard, which is not a dishonorable goal.
BOZO was handily defeated by MANUTE BOL in an exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided
fight.  I hope you do better next time, Bozo.
     Time has gotten away from me and I cannot today start the tale of Wiggler and
Gringold and their adventure on the Lake of Mist.  However, I can almost promise to
do it next turn.
     With a smile and my best wishes for a productive fortnight,

                                  Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WIGGLER 18-8088             43   6  1  487  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BASS 5-3666                 75 110  2  278  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 HEART 97-1096               28  23  4  267  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 SULTAN 10-4516              43  15  1  253  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        56  32  1  252  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           66  60  1  245  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          34  42  2  240  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           89  38  2  235  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          69 133  6  219  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  67  57  0  218  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             35  43  2  217  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 NO NO IM SPARTICUS 69-311   43  22  0  214  BIG LAKE BONEHEADS (529)   CIMMERIAC
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       63  62  1  211  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MUCKER 42-3596              76  78  2  208  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     68  31  1  205  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
-HITZ 82-10428               22  13  0  205  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   111 114  0  203  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      36  43  2  203  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ASSAULT 82-2043             75  43  1  202  JOKA MASHER (1055)         DWES EG
 PTI 7-5412                  41  26  0  202  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          122  73  1  200  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          81  84  0  199  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 ONE A DAY 98-799            40  33  3  199  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        36  49  1  196  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  33  23  0  196  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
-WHIRLING DOG 10-4177        81  45  1  195  MONGREL HORDE (964)        KOLACT
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         45  91  2  195  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          42  25  1  191  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         67  61  2  190  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        40  32  1  190  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       31   6  0  190  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 GOKU 7-5628                 28   7  0  190  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      92  76  2  189  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           44  17  0  189  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 LINK 6-5144                 37  68  2  188  SUPER BASH BROTHERS (1067) TRANSEL
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       34  29  0  188  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
-THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  23   9  2  188  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 SCHYLER 6-4866              69 113  1  187  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HEAT 98-981                 25  19  4  186  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
-MUMPHY CHICK 1-5487         30   4  0  185  LEGENDS OF STEELE (1047)   MORDANT
 COOLER 82-7277              48  45  1  184  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 FEAR 82-10416               33  50  1  183  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            24  19  3  181  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         65  92  1  178  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     36  28  0  176  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          56  88  1  174  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 LIFE 3-4196                 50 158  0  173  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 ENDYMION 6-4163             35  57  2  173  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 GOHAN 18-8449               30  14  1  168  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 BRADEN 6-4867               68 114  1  167  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ASHANTI 6-5352              37  49  6  165  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
 SMUNCH 18-8337              24   3  0  165  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           33  33  2  156  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 MUTINEER 7-2607             30  19  2  152  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 2 62-2976                   37  28  3  149  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            36  26  0  146  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-YUENGLING 82-16265          23  12  1  144  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 PEGASUS 6-4161              33  58  1  143  KREWE OF DRUID (1186)      TRANSEL
-MINOS 21-5805               20  16  2  143  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        34  24  0  135  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 PUD 126 82-22024            29  15  0  115  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    30  84  2  101  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STRAFE 82-11158             38  18  0   97  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
-RONALD REAGAN 21-1588       25  25  0   97  SONS OF SATAN (1214)       SUNSET
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         32  82  1   91  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       20   7  0   84  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880     27  18  2   74  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           23  16  0   69  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310       4  15  3   61  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   17   8  0   60  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       12   2  3   60  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
-HAILSTORM 7-5698            19   2  0   59  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
-PREBIRTH 18-8452            14  14  1   57  BURN N' PILLAGE (327)      TALCAMA
 BOZO 42-4016                22  46  0   44  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        18  19  0   37  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Wiggler -- It saddens me to see a fine lass such as yourself talking to herself on
her lonely throne.  I know not how long you will remain in Darkholm, but if I should
peek my head into the Grand Challenger Champions, I would be happy to accept your
challenge.  Perhaps I will have a TV challenge of my own by then. -- Gringold

Desiree -- I'm smiling at you, too!  Can't you see?  These shiny gold teeth....  Most
Sea Dogs waste their booty on wine and women, but I've invested mine.  I polish my
gold teeth every day, in fact I take much better care of them then the first set.
And what with sailors being fond of nicknames and all, I thought it much better to be
known as Gringold than Gummy Joe or Blowhole.  Still, gold teeth are not without
their perils.  My trusty shortsword is always by my side, as there is always the fear
of waking up to someone prying out a bit of my life's savings.  As to your question,
I crave adventure.  This gladiator's life is a fine alternative to sitting in Queen

Gemra's dungeons, but it is nothing like the open seas, plucking juicy merchant ships
from the trade routes.  And in regards to the other questions, I am 5' 5" and some
say I've got a bit of Shargornan Elf blood in me.  Where to? -- Gringold

     The middle of the lake, dear.  And from there, straight down.  We have business
     in Davey Jones' locker.

Cleaner Wrasse -- Well, how come you fight dirty, then?  Jumping to my weak side
right off, and all. -- Maginot Mike

Crack Is Cheap -- That isn't the way I heard it. -- Tolais Deepheart
P.S.  But then, golems always lie.

Tolais Deepheart -- That remark is TOTALLY uncalled for! -- Life of Osksi, perfectly
created golem (except for the gender business)

Ashanti -- Well...you can believe Tolais, that I lied, or you can believe me that I
thought it was quite a good sort of fight for a young pud. -- Mucker

The Cuticle Dance -- Don't ask?  As if I cared!  Why should I concern myself with an
ill-groomed insult to golemhood such as you? -- Life of Osksi

Desiree -- Get your eyes checked.  Or are you a "him" also? -- Tolais Deepheart,
unmistakably female orc

     Tolais -- Maybe I do need glasses.  I apologize. -- Desiree

5 October 2005
To those once of Willaf -- It's time to come back to the sands.  I'm back,
exclusively at Willaf.... -- Kurd the Vivisectionist, Your Better

12 October 2005
Magic Man -- You are a fellow Canadian, are you not?  Where do you hail from?  I live
in Kelowna, B.C. -- Maximillian, 8,13, 28, 47, 54

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WIGGLER devastated ONE A DAY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
HEAT was viciously subdued by GRINGOLD in a popular 3 minute gruesome Challenge match.
GOHAN bested MUTINEER in a popular 2 minute Challenge contest.
HE HATE ME overpowered ROLEX WATCH in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match.
SMUNCH savagely defeated FRIED TWINKIE in a exciting 6 minute Challenge struggle.
DECK SWAB handily defeated PUD 126 in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
STRAFE vanquished KUNG PAO KITTY in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
BILLY THE SQUID lost to MEN WORKING in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
SUSHI SLINGER was overpowered by I WET MY BED! in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
HEART overpowered BOB, ETERNAL, in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
BASS devastated GOKU in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
TASTY HANGNAIL was demolished by DUSKY JAWFISH in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SULTAN savagely defeated ETCHED IN STONE in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory conflict.
OBSESSIVE slimly won victory over MAHI MAHI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bout.
DR DAZZLE vanquished NUMBERED WON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
MIMIC BLENNY bested PTI in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl.
NEOSPHINCTER was demolished by DOC STEELE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH overpowered SUPER BUM in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
DOC STEELE was defeated by FEAR in a exciting 1 minute duel.
WENT TO MARKET overpowered LIFE in a action packed 1 minute bloody uneven fray.
SHINY PENNY overpowered ENDYMION in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
MISS HONEY lost to ASSAULT in a popular 1 minute match.
CLEANER WRASSE was vanquished by NO NO IM SPARTICUS in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
TOLAIS DEEPHEART unbelievably bested ASHANTI in a action packed 3 minute bout.
MUCKER handily defeated SCHYLER in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS handily defeated SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
COOLER was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in a action packed 5 minute gruesome fight.
CRACK IS CHEAP luckily beat BRADEN in a exciting 9 minute gory match.
MAGINOT MIKE was narrowly defeated by LINK in a exciting 3 minute gory bout.
FRIJOLE! viciously subdued BRICKTOP in a crowd pleasing 8 minute gruesome match.
PEGASUS was defeated by 2 in a exciting 3 minute struggle.
WORK IN PROGRESS demolished THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BOZO was handily defeated by MANUTE BOL in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
UBER GOOBER was demolished by DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a popular 3 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -   4 -  0      81  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         AIMED BLOW        71 -  43 -  1      62  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         WALL OF STEEL     51 -  31 -  0      62  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         LUNGING ATTACK   115 -  95 -  1      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  11 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         TOTAL PARRY       45 -  67 -  0      40  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   24 -  38 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  43 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 413 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         7  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  8         1  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  5         1  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    10 -  8     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
AIMED BLOW         6 -  6                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       WIGGLER 18-8088            43   6  1  487 THUNDR + LITENING (309)
LUNGING ATTACK   BASS 5-3666                75 110  2  278 JOHNS (927)
SLASHING ATTACK  HEART 97-1096              28  23  4  267 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)
PARRY-LUNGE      SULTAN 10-4516             43  15  1  253 SIR AGLIO (600)
WALL OF STEEL    OBSESSIVE 58-2447          66  60  1  245 ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)
TOTAL PARRY      DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978      63  62  1  211 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
BASHING ATTACK   WENT TO MARKET 25-4288     36  43  2  203 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         122  73  1  200 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   30  84  2  101 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was BRADEN 6-4867.  The ten other most popular fighters were FRIJOLE! 
99-1214, COOLER 82-7277, SMUNCH 18-8337, SULTAN 10-4516, GRINGOLD 7-2416, FRIED 
TWINKIE 5-4562, PEGASUS 6-4161, HE HATE ME 18-7820, ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112, and 
OBSESSIVE 58-2447.

The least popular fighter this week was BOZO 42-4016.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818, TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463, GOKU 7-5628, SUSHI 
SLINGER 96-1399, PUD 126 82-22024, CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495, ENDYMION 6-4163, SUPER BUM 
82-18411, NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317, and BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  0 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       1  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            2  2 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          4  4 0  
TRANSEL(6)           2  5 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        2  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  4 0  RODEKI(42)           3  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  0 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     0  2 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          9  7 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 50 158  0  173  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         65  92  1  178  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 BASS 5-3666                 75 110  2  278  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480           44  17  0  189  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             35  43  2  217  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 SULTAN 10-4516              43  15  1  253  SIR AGLIO (600)            KOLACT
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       20   7  0   84  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 WIGGLER 18-8088             43   6  1  487  THUNDR + LITENING (309)    TALCAMA
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      36  43  2  203  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         45  91  2  195  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          81  84  0  199  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       31   6  0  190  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 MUCKER 42-3596              76  78  2  208  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           89  38  2  235  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 OBSESSIVE 58-2447           66  60  1  245  ELEMENTS OF PSI (423)      DELARQ TOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     68  31  1  205  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   37  28  3  149  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 NO NO IM SPARTICUS 69-311   43  22  0  214  BIG LAKE BONEHEADS (529)   CIMMERIAC
 ASSAULT 82-2043             75  43  1  202  JOKA MASHER (1055)         DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       12   2  3   60  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096               28  23  4  267  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799            40  33  3  199  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            24  19  3  181  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE