DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL Date : 02/18/2006 Duedate: 03/03/2006 DARKHOLM DM-104 TURN-421 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1244 440 8 73.9 I'M SO SEXY 42/1072 2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES II 82/1253 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188 2 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1703 1345 19 55.9 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197 4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243 ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237 5 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1141 1002 8 53.2 ELIMINATED SATURDAY 82/1267 6 INDIFFERENCE 7/1194 10 9 1 52.6 LOCAL BEER 82/1219 RUN AND HYDE 18/1221 LUST MUPPETS 32/1036 GRIM OBITUARY 62/1230 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 7 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202 806 755 6 51.6 4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229 4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 8-EXTREME BAST 66/1266 151 174 5 46.5 HYBRIDS V 82/1255 SOUTHERNFRIEDKILLERS 17/1263 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252 MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 6/1262 3 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212 16 13 0 55.2 MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 65/1264 HIGHER PURPOSE 42/1259 MARVELOUS BASTARDS 65/1265 4 NUTS 82/1240 2069 1747 7 54.2 9 SEA DOGS 7/203 76 115 3 39.8 PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069 SEA DOGS 18/328 CEMENTIA 61/1112 SEA DOGS 96/1241 IT'S NEW! 6/1195 10 DELVERS 42/1000 296 469 2 38.7 FLAT BROKE 82/1184 DOGS OF WAR 4/999 I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 SANDS OF TIME 38/1178 DARK HORSEMEN 51/1261 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201 11 ARROGANCE 18/732 914 1597 17 36.4 PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 SCARRY TEAM 36/824 WASTELAND 18/468 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 WASTELAND II 7/500 12 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150 559 1067 10 34.4 NUMBERS 62/937 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162 MY DRUGS 98/1179 FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228 CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT The Obsidian Knowledge, Part Five The wagon waited in the cobbled street in front of the Stronghold Academy in the city of Talahya. Gringold squatted in the back of the wagon with his arms full of sealed containers of lake monster, as Wiggler and the young mage Brennan discussed what to do next. One of the watery containers holding a miniaturized dead baby lake monster had been stolen out of the wagon while they were transporting it to the Stronghold Academy. Brennan (the young mage who had hired Wiggler and Gringold to recover what the monsters contained) seemed inclined to blame the two gladiators. Wiggler was inclined to blame herself, too, though she didn't know how she could have anticipated the container being stolen out of a tarp-covered horse trough full of water in the back of a moving wagon. Her father expected perfection from her and so she expected it of herself, too. Gringold was less inclined to blame himself or his fellow gladiator. "The thief had to be light, or we'd a felt him jump on the wagon," he said. "And quick, and nimble. A kid, most likely, an urchin foraging for his family." "How are we going to find someone like that?" said Wiggler. Gringold looked at Brennan the mage. "Let's say somebody eats the sea monster. It was shrunk down, looked to be the size of one meal. But if it was to come unshrunk it'd be around 80 to 100 pounds, right? Will the spell wear off when it's inside somebody?" "Oh gods," Wiggler said, looking sick. "That poor kid!" Brennan said, "It couldn't be eaten that way. Cut or pierce it, and it will expand to its original size. If it's a poor family, I would imagine they would thank the gods for the miracle of more food, and then dig in." "And then what?" Wiggler asked. "You'd kidnap the whole family and take them to your lab to extract the knowledge from them? Because, count me out of that." "Me too," Gringold said, which gratified her because she'd thought he was a callous mercenary. Brennan said, "Well, I think we could do it without harming them. A small and selective memory erasure...their knowledge of the last day, perhaps. But Lady Greywand insists that the Obsidian Knowledge be contained. And the sooner we find this hypothetical poor family, the neater it will be. The knowledge may be something they could tell to others, in which case..." "May be?" said Wiggler immediately. You mean, YOU don't know what it is?" The young mage looked embarrassed. "Not exactly, no. Only in general." Wiggler frowned. "Well...do you know enough to tell if it would cause someone who knew it to behave in a particular way? I mean, the guy who stole it said it was about the breakdown of magic on Ghea. Let's say for example that magic is breaking down because of a lack of chanting, but you can save a bunch for yourself by doing a lot of chanting. We could ask around to find out who suddenly started chanting all the time." "Here's another angle," said Gringold. "The guy who stole the tablet, the one who died. When he swallowed the tablet he looked like someone who just realized he had taken poison. Then he deliberately went into the Lake. Will this knowledge make people want to kill themselves?" Brennan told them, "That man was a known thief, someone who used to be a student at the Stronghold Academy and who once got away with a valuable spell book. I don't think he was after the Obsidian Knowledge in specific. He said he thought the tablet contained information about why magic broke down here on Ghea. That information could be sold for a lot of money to a number of different factions in this world... and beyond. When he swallowed the tablet, I suppose he expected to make himself too valuable to kill. Instead...." The young mage laughed derisively. "Let's just say he chose a better fate than the Lady would have given him." Gringold said, "You're not helping." "We're all going to die!" said Wiggler. "That's it, isn't it? The Obsidian Knowledge reveals that Ghea and everyone on it is doomed to perish hideously, and--" "No!" Brennan touched her arm, then quickly took his hand away when she looked down at it. "No, no, believe me, it's nothing like that. It's...all right, it's some personal information about Lady Greywand. Perhaps a secret weakness. Something that, if someone knew it, she would slay them immediately and not in a nice way. The thief was all but caught and once he swallowed the tablet, he realized he had nothing but a horrible death to look forward to. So he chose an easier way out. If someone else ingests the knowledge, someone who doesn't have the Lady's agents hot on their trail, they might use it to blackmail her. They might sell it to her enemies. This is all I know, and it's all you should want to know, as well. Anything more, and...." Wiggler looked at Gringold. "We've got the find that poor family before they eat the fish." * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 538): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 422): THE SHOCKER of INQUISITION SL5 (LHI, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 546): BLACK WIDOW of MISTRESS 4 XMAS (Angus, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 542): SCANDALF of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 541): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 545): HOMOCULOUS of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 542): PESCHISOLIDO of IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (Crip, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 537): QUIP of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 527): ADDUCTOR MAGNUS of MUSCLE MEN (The Anarchist, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 501): I.B. KLONIN of HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 491): HARANDUR of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): MATT RISIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 479): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 427): GRANDMASTER of RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 192): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 420): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave) Top Teams --------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 538): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 422): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 546): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 542): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 541): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 545): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 542): BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 537): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 528): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 527): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 501): HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 491): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 479): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 427): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 204): OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 192): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 420): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.) Recent Graduates ----------------- DM 4 JHELUM (turn 541): HAPPY CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.) (turn 527): JOLEE BINDO of STAR WARS: KOTOR (Talon Warsmith, mgr.) LA TOUR of PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 526): ACE of SWORD OPERA (Nick, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 500): NIKITA of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.) REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Hi there! Only one warrior was challenged more than once this turn, and it was Mahi Mahi (receiving two challenges). KYLIE (18-6057) (41-31-1,243) of UNTOUCHABLES challenged MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (127-75-1,259) of BIG MEAN FISH. KYLIE was demolished by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee. Well done, your fishiness. And Kylie, that was a very brave challenge. Here's what happened in our only TV challenge: STRAFE (82-11158) (45-18-0,205) of BLACK PRIMERS TV challenged SUPER BUM (82-18411) (47-27-1,207) of FLAT BROKE. STRAFE viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge fight. It was a good challenge and a good win. Well fought, both of you. Nobody avoided anybody. Too bad. You should use your avoids. No one died, either. That's basically a good thing, but I'm afraid it could be a sign that you all aren't trying hard enough. Come on, we're Delarquans! We're fierce and dangerous! You can't have fierce fights without occasionally breaking an egg. I mean, you can't make an omelet without killing somebody. Guess who made "Overall Popularity Leader" this turn! Crack is Cheap! HITZ (82- 10428) (27-14-0,229) of 4-LETTER DOCTORS fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (38-33- 0,188) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW. HITZ savagely defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in an exciting 4 minute bloody match. Well, Doc Steele (the warrior) fought our top Total Parry, and won the Scum Sympathy vote for this turn. The fight wasn't really that scummy, though. DOC STEELE (18-6010) (72-137-6,221) of ARROGANCE fought BRICKTOP (18-7955) (40-29-0,200) of WASTELAND. DOC STEELE was unbelievably bested by BRICKTOP in an exciting 6 minute brutal contest. You know Adashir is a competent warrior, you can tell it from his record. So he just had a bad day, not quite used to being on the Isle maybe. Some of our spicy Talahyan cuisine might have disagreed with him. THE IMPECCABLE PIG (5-3818) (21-11- 0,65) of JUST DON'T CARE fought ADASHIR (42-4088) (17-6-1,89) of HIGHER PURPOSE. THE IMPECCABLE PIG devastated ADASHIR in a 1 minute mismatched match. Doc Steele (the manager), thanks for clearing up my confusion about where Wiggler went, and when. I really appreciate it. You know, it was a very quiet turn, and I have nothing else to say about the fights. So I'll let you go...all right, with a bit of advice. When you are married (or one-half of an sort of partnership) you take turns being the driving force. So when your turn comes, be ready. Otherwise you'll both go back to bed for a long nap until your partner is ready to take over again. Oh, and: when in doubt, paint something pink! But if your partner is afraid of pink, as many partners are, call it "peach." That's all. Let's have more fights next turn so there will be more to talk about, please. Desiree KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY MAHI MAHI 18-4899 128 75 1 275 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 47 33 1 260 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541 62 34 1 257 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460 36 8 0 240 SANDS OF TIME (1178) CLIFFHOME MOLOCH 62-1267 35 46 1 240 GRIM OBITUARY (1230) VALAMANTIS HITZ 82-10428 28 14 0 237 4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204) DWES EG MISS HONEY 36-4850 85 88 0 226 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS STRAFE 82-11158 46 18 0 223 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) DWES EG HE HATE ME 18-7820 39 45 2 216 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA COOLER 82-7277 53 48 1 215 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG HARV 82-20046 29 11 1 213 4-LETTER NAMES (1256) DWES EG BRADEN 6-4867 74 116 1 212 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL HEART 97-1096 34 25 4 212 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237) SHADOW GROVE GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 95 81 2 208 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA BRICKTOP 18-7955 41 29 0 208 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA FEAR 82-10416 37 54 1 208 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG GOKU 7-5628 30 13 0 208 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR NUMBERED WON 18-7434 39 54 1 206 NEXT GENERATION (1150) TALCAMA GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY SCHYLER 6-4866 73 117 1 205 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL SUPER BUM 82-18411 47 28 1 205 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG HEAT 98-981 30 22 4 205 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL KYLIE 18-6057 41 32 1 203 UNTOUCHABLES (1212) TALCAMA DOC STEELE 18-6010 72 138 6 201 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 27 12 2 200 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG YUENGLING 82-16265 26 16 1 200 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG GRINGOLD 7-2416 37 49 2 199 SEA DOGS (203) BONSUR PTI 7-5412 47 28 0 198 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR -GATEWAY 82-15631 29 7 0 198 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG DR DAZZLE 57-4485 95 40 2 197 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR MUCKER 42-3596 81 81 2 197 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI DECK SWAB 18-2148 36 38 2 197 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 73 34 1 194 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE -SMELLY TOES 82-17409 29 15 0 194 HYBRIDS V (1255) DWES EG ONE A DAY 98-799 45 36 3 193 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL PUD 126 82-22024 33 19 0 193 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 38 34 0 191 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG CREDIT LINE 82-1366 25 29 0 191 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 71 65 2 190 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 40 47 2 190 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 115 118 0 188 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 71 61 0 186 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA LIFE 3-4196 52 164 0 184 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI GAMBLE 7-4884 22 14 3 184 INDIFFERENCE (1194) BONSUR DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 66 67 1 183 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 67 98 1 182 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 35 36 0 181 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562 37 29 0 180 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188) KALTOS GOHAN 18-8449 33 19 1 180 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA -FLUFFY WONDER BUNN 82-1953 33 16 0 177 2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES I (1253 DWES EG DOC STEELE 18-6808 59 93 1 175 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA SHINY PENNY 32-3789 48 96 2 175 FOUND IN THE SAND (1034) ARVAT FRIJOLE! 99-1214 27 24 3 171 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE RED FUSION 6-5480 47 22 0 170 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 15 7 3 169 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS ROID RAGE 62-1408 22 19 2 162 GRIM OBITUARY (1230) VALAMANTIS 2 62-2976 39 34 3 160 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS MANUTE BOL 5-4233 28 19 0 154 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 36 28 0 153 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 32 90 2 140 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME FREAK 18-7300 24 12 4 136 RUN AND HYDE (1221) TALCAMA BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 31 21 2 135 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA APOLLYON 62-2348 25 25 1 134 GRIM OBITUARY (1230) VALAMANTIS I WET MY BED! 14-4052 25 10 0 124 I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239) TOBIR MUTINEER 7-2607 32 25 2 122 SEA DOGS (203) BONSUR MEN WORKING 38-4189 35 87 1 120 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME HAILSTORM 7-5698 24 4 0 107 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -DAVE 18-8535 27 16 0 97 SHEPHERDS (432) TALCAMA THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 22 11 0 93 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS A. CAPONE 18-3228 17 18 3 92 UNTOUCHABLES (1212) TALCAMA GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 19 6 0 85 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL MASSAGE PARLOR 82-3972 11 7 1 80 ELIMINATED SATURDAY (1267) DWES EG ??RADAR?? 82-20310 12 17 0 78 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 6 21 3 77 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -RED SKELTON 42-4153 23 17 0 71 CLOWNING AROUND (1200) RODEKI ADASHIR 42-4088 17 7 1 70 HIGHER PURPOSE (1259) RODEKI UBER GOOBER 82-26198 25 20 0 63 NUTS (1240) DWES EG SINDARION 18-8499 25 15 1 53 UNTOUCHABLES (1212) TALCAMA CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 11 1 4 50 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE BOZO 42-4016 22 54 0 48 CLOWNING AROUND (1200) RODEKI '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Desiree & Inquiring Mind -- There is a split after each tourney where warriors are re-classified for tourney purposes. Every other split some time after each Mail In tourney, warriors have the opportunity to move to new arenas. Wiggler was Contender qualified, so when the warriors moved after the Mail In she was forced to go to Primus to continue her career. She has fought in Primus for three turns now. It was confusing because the Commission was very late in moving warriors this split, so Wiggler actually fought in Darkholm a few turns longer than she should have. Drop by and see her in Primus anytime. -- Doc Steele I will! And thank you for the very helpful information. -- Desiree Super Bum -- (groaning) That is NOT what I needed today, besides being a classic style match to confound me. My winning record is being imperiled! Not that I care, but I thought I should say such a thing. -- Mucker Bricktop -- And we only went eleven minutes. I feel badly about that. I should probably have been wearing heavier armor. Sorry. -- Maginot Mike P.S. Are you this "brick golem from Mordant" I've been hearing about? (pause to peer closely at the fight report) No, not from Mordant. Well, it could still be a trick of some kind, couldn't it? Credit Line -- If your claim, the one made in your team name, is TRUE--which I reserve judgment on, as born people will say ANYTHING--then I'll be sure to get a credit line along with my gender attachment. It's coming any day now, you know. They can't keep it from me forever. -- Life of Osksi 2 -- I feel that your cognomen sets a bad precedent. Assert your personship and get a real name! -- Tolais Deepheart Desiree (not your real name) -- Only to the extent that most Delarquans are cannaries. It's their race. -- Life of Osksi, above things like race Life -- No no, the canary races are held in Fratsfa. I know; I saw them one year. Not, mind you, that I was THERE for the canary races, but the canaries and I just happened to be there in the same week. -- Desiree 30 January 2006 We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to announce with glad hearts that Heathen Hatebred is no longer just a friend, but also an alliance-mate. Heathen brings a lot with him to our alliance. His experience, talent, and loyalty will be a great benefit to us all. Welcome Heathen; may all our enemies' blood continue to flow freely! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS STRAFE viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge fight. KYLIE was demolished by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee. CREDIT LINE was vanquished by CLEANER WRASSE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. THE CUTICLE DANCE was defeated by NEOSPHINCTER in a exciting 2 minute fight. MOLOCH slimly won victory over PTI in a action packed 3 minute gory brawl. ETCHED IN STONE was viciously subdued by MISS HONEY in a 3 minute match. PUD 126 was defeated by BRADEN in a action packed 1 minute melee. BOB, ETERNAL, vanquished MUCKER in a popular 1 minute uneven duel. ONE A DAY was viciously subdued by FEAR in a popular 4 minute gory duel. MIMIC BLENNY overpowered DR DAZZLE in a 1 minute one-sided melee. HITZ savagely defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in a exciting 4 minute bloody match. DOC STEELE was unbelievably bested by BRICKTOP in a exciting 6 minute brutal contest. DOC STEELE was bested by LIFE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout. HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH was defeated by SCHYLER in a popular 1 minute duel. DUSKY JAWFISH was devastated by HE HATE ME in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven duel. DECK SWAB was bested by HEAT in a popular 3 minute brutal brawl. GOKU demolished WENT TO MARKET in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided bout. ROLEX WATCH was handily defeated by COOLER in a 1 minute mismatched competition. TASTY HANGNAIL was vanquished by HEART in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match. GRINGOLD vanquished STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute mismatched fray. HARV overpowered GOHAN in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. RED FUSION was vanquished by NUMBERED WON in a action packed 8 minute one-sided match. YUENGLING was defeated by DIRK CHOLERA in a action packed 1 minute match. APOLLYON was overpowered by MANUTE BOL in a 1 minute uneven duel. ROID RAGE was overpowered by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute one-sided fray. MAGINOT MIKE won victory over WORK IN PROGRESS in a popular 3 minute bout. FRIED TWINKIE luckily beat SUSHI SLINGER in a action packed 3 minute gory duel. FRIJOLE! overpowered I WET MY BED! in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. SHINY PENNY overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute one-sided bout. GAMBLE handily defeated BILLY THE SQUID in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match. MUTINEER was savagely defeated by FREAK in a exciting 3 minute brutal struggle. A. CAPONE was devastated by HAILSTORM in a 1 minute uneven bout. 2 defeated LAUGHING BARMAID in a exciting 3 minute bloody match. SINDARION was savagely defeated by MASSAGE PARLOR in a popular 2 minute gory duel. CHIPS AHOY was viciously subdued by ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout. KUNG PAO KITTY was viciously subdued by COOKIE FOR THE SOUL in a 5 minute duel. UBER GOOBER subdued BOZO in a action packed 5 minute duel. THE IMPECCABLE PIG devastated ADASHIR in a 1 minute mismatched match. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 22 LUNGING ATTACK 116 - 83 - 0 58 | |AIMED BLOW 14 WALL OF STEEL 45 - 36 - 1 56 | |TOTAL PARRY 12 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 9 - 0 55 | |WALL OF STEEL 8 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 6 - 0 50 | |BASHING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 28 - 30 - 0 48 | |SLASHING ATTACK 5 AIMED BLOW 65 - 70 - 0 48 | |STRIKING ATTACK 2 PARRY-LUNGE 11 - 12 - 0 48 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 TOTAL PARRY 51 - 62 - 0 45 | |PARRY-LUNGE 2 BASHING ATTACK 22 - 36 - 1 38 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 421 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 4 - 8 4 LUNGING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 10 - 4 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 5 3 AIMED BLOW SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 2 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 2 1 STRIKING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE LUNGING ATTACK 11 - 11 1 WALL OF STEEL WALL OF STEEL 4 - 4 1 SLASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 128 75 1 275 BIG MEAN FISH (292) AIMED BLOW NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 47 33 1 260 WASTELAND (468) LUNGING ATTACK MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541 62 34 1 257 BIG MEAN FISH (292) PARRY-RIPOSTE MOLOCH 62-1267 35 46 1 240 GRIM OBITUARY (1230) WALL OF STEEL STRAFE 82-11158 46 18 0 223 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) SLASHING ATTACK COOLER 82-7277 53 48 1 215 STYROFOAM (1090) TOTAL PARRY BRICKTOP 18-7955 41 29 0 208 WASTELAND (468) BASHING ATTACK DECK SWAB 18-2148 36 38 2 197 SEA DOGS (328) PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 59 93 1 175 ARROGANCE (732) The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior this turn was DOC STEELE 18-6010. The ten other most popular fighters were STRAFE 82-11158, NUMBERED WON 18-7434, HITZ 82-10428, MISS HONEY 36-4850, COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002, BOZO 42-4016, FEAR 82-10416, DOC STEELE 18-6808, FREAK 18-7300, and SUPER BUM 82-18411. The least popular fighter this week was ADASHIR 42-4088. The other ten least popular fighters were MEN WORKING 38-4189, APOLLYON 62-2348, STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836, DR DAZZLE 57-4485, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, CHIPS AHOY 97-1586, A. CAPONE 18-3228, BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880, I WET MY BED! 14-4052, and ROID RAGE 62-1408. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K OSKSI(3) 1 0 0 LYRATILAN(25) 0 1 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 2 2 0 JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 ARVAT(32) 1 1 0 DWES EG(82) 8 6 0 KALTOS(5) 3 0 0 JHANS(36) 1 0 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0 TRANSEL(6) 3 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 2 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 2 0 BONSUR(7) 4 3 0 RODEKI(42) 1 4 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0 TOBIR(14) 0 1 0 ANDOR(57) 0 1 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0 TALCAMA(18) 8 10 0 JURINE(61) 0 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY LIFE 3-4196 52 164 0 184 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 67 98 1 182 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562 37 29 0 180 MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188) KALTOS BRADEN 6-4867 74 116 1 212 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL GOKU 7-5628 30 13 0 208 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR I WET MY BED! 14-4052 25 10 0 124 I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239) TOBIR MAHI MAHI 18-4899 128 75 1 275 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA WENT TO MARKET 25-4288 40 47 2 190 THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162) LYRATILAN ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 71 65 2 190 LUST MUPPETS (1036) ARVAT MISS HONEY 36-4850 85 88 0 226 SCARRY TEAM (824) JHANS BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460 36 8 0 240 SANDS OF TIME (1178) CLIFFHOME MUCKER 42-3596 81 81 2 197 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI DR DAZZLE 57-4485 95 40 2 197 PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069) ANDOR ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 73 34 1 194 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE MOLOCH 62-1267 35 46 1 240 GRIM OBITUARY (1230) VALAMANTIS HITZ 82-10428 28 14 0 237 4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204) DWES EG SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 15 7 3 169 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS HEART 97-1096 34 25 4 212 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237) SHADOW GROVE HEAT 98-981 30 22 4 205 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL FRIJOLE! 99-1214 27 24 3 171 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE