DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 02/18/2006    Duedate: 03/03/2006

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-421

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1244  440  8 73.9      I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                   
    2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES II 82/1253               MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188               
  2 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1703 1345 19 55.9      NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                    HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243               
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237                5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1141 1002  8 53.2
    ELIMINATED SATURDAY 82/1267               6 INDIFFERENCE 7/1194    10    9  1 52.6
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                          RUN AND HYDE 18/1221                  
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                        GRIM OBITUARY 62/1230                 
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258               7 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202  806  755  6 51.6
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256                      BIG MEAN FISH 18/292                  
    ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254                CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                  8-EXTREME BAST 66/1266  151  174  5 46.5
    HYBRIDS V 82/1255                           SOUTHERNFRIEDKILLERS 17/1263          
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252                MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 6/1262           
  3 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212   16   13  0 55.2      MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 65/1264          
    HIGHER PURPOSE 42/1259                      MARVELOUS BASTARDS 65/1265            
  4 NUTS 82/1240         2069 1747  7 54.2    9 SEA DOGS 7/203         76  115  3 39.8
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                  SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                         10 DELVERS 42/1000       296  469  2 38.7
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239                    GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                       DARK HORSEMEN 51/1261                 
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                     11 ARROGANCE 18/732      914 1597 17 36.4
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    WASTELAND 18/468                            THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                      JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    WASTELAND II 7/500                       12 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150  559 1067 10 34.4
    NUMBERS 62/937                              THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                         CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200               
    DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268            

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

                          The Obsidian Knowledge, Part Five

     The wagon waited in the cobbled street in front of the Stronghold Academy in the
city of Talahya.  Gringold squatted in the back of the wagon with his arms full of
sealed containers of lake monster, as Wiggler and the young mage Brennan discussed
what to do next.
     One of the watery containers holding a miniaturized dead baby lake monster had
been stolen out of the wagon while they were transporting it to the Stronghold
Academy.  Brennan (the young mage who had hired Wiggler and Gringold to recover what
the monsters contained) seemed inclined to blame the two gladiators.  Wiggler was
inclined to blame herself, too, though she didn't know how she could have anticipated
the container being stolen out of a tarp-covered horse trough full of water in the
back of a moving wagon.  Her father expected perfection from her and so she expected
it of herself, too.  Gringold was less inclined to blame himself or his fellow
gladiator.
     "The thief had to be light, or we'd a felt him jump on the wagon," he said.
"And quick, and nimble.  A kid, most likely, an urchin foraging for his family."
     "How are we going to find someone like that?" said Wiggler.
     Gringold looked at Brennan the mage.  "Let's say somebody eats the sea monster.
It was shrunk down, looked to be the size of one meal.  But if it was to come
unshrunk it'd be around 80 to 100 pounds, right?  Will the spell wear off when it's
inside somebody?"
     "Oh gods," Wiggler said, looking sick.  "That poor kid!"
     Brennan said, "It couldn't be eaten that way.  Cut or pierce it, and it will
expand to its original size.  If it's a poor family, I would imagine they would thank
the gods for the miracle of more food, and then dig in."
     "And then what?" Wiggler asked.  "You'd kidnap the whole family and take them to
your lab to extract the knowledge from them?  Because, count me out of that."
     "Me too," Gringold said, which gratified her because she'd thought he was a
callous mercenary.
     Brennan said, "Well, I think we could do it without harming them.  A small and
selective memory erasure...their knowledge of the last day, perhaps.  But Lady
Greywand insists that the Obsidian Knowledge be contained.  And the sooner we find
this hypothetical poor family, the neater it will be.  The knowledge may be something
they could tell to others, in which case..."
     "May be?" said Wiggler immediately.  You mean, YOU don't know what it is?"
     The young mage looked embarrassed.  "Not exactly, no.  Only in general."
     Wiggler frowned.  "Well...do you know enough to tell if it would cause someone
who knew it to behave in a particular way?  I mean, the guy who stole it said it was
about the breakdown of magic on Ghea.  Let's say for example that magic is breaking
down because of a lack of chanting, but you can save a bunch for yourself by doing a
lot of chanting.  We could ask around to find out who suddenly started chanting all
the time."
     "Here's another angle," said Gringold.  "The guy who stole the tablet, the one
who died.  When he swallowed the tablet he looked like someone who just realized he
had taken poison.  Then he deliberately went into the Lake.  Will this knowledge make
people want to kill themselves?"
     Brennan told them, "That man was a known thief, someone who used to be a student
at the Stronghold Academy and who once got away with a valuable spell book.  I don't
think he was after the Obsidian Knowledge in specific.  He said he thought the tablet
contained information about why magic broke down here on Ghea.  That information
could be sold for a lot of money to a number of different factions in this world...
and beyond.  When he swallowed the tablet, I suppose he expected to make himself too
valuable to kill.  Instead...."  The young mage laughed derisively.  "Let's just say
he chose a better fate than the Lady would have given him."
     Gringold said, "You're not helping."
     "We're all going to die!" said Wiggler.  "That's it, isn't it?  The Obsidian
Knowledge reveals that Ghea and everyone on it is doomed to perish hideously, and--"
     "No!"  Brennan touched her arm, then quickly took his hand away when she looked
down at it.  "No, no, believe me, it's nothing like that.  It's...all right, it's
some personal information about Lady Greywand.  Perhaps a secret weakness.  Something
that, if someone knew it, she would slay them immediately and not in a nice way.  The
thief was all but caught and once he swallowed the tablet, he realized he had nothing
but a horrible death to look forward to.  So he chose an easier way out.  If someone
else ingests the knowledge, someone who doesn't have the Lady's agents hot on their
trail, they might use it to blackmail her.  They might sell it to her enemies.  This
is all I know, and it's all you should want to know, as well.  Anything more,
and...."
     Wiggler looked at Gringold.  "We've got the find that poor family before they
eat the fish."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 422): THE SHOCKER of INQUISITION SL5 (LHI, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): BLACK WIDOW of MISTRESS 4 XMAS (Angus, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): SCANDALF of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): HOMOCULOUS of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 542): PESCHISOLIDO of IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): QUIP of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 527): ADDUCTOR MAGNUS of MUSCLE MEN (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 501): I.B. KLONIN of HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 491): HARANDUR of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): MATT RISIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 427): GRANDMASTER of RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 420): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 422): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 542): BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 528): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 527): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 501): HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 491): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 427): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 420): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 541): HAPPY CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
                (turn 527): JOLEE BINDO of STAR WARS: KOTOR (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
                            LA TOUR of PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 526): ACE of SWORD OPERA (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 500): NIKITA of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hi there!

     Only one warrior was challenged more than once this turn, and it was Mahi Mahi
(receiving two challenges).  KYLIE (18-6057) (41-31-1,243) of UNTOUCHABLES challenged
MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (127-75-1,259) of BIG MEAN FISH.  KYLIE was demolished by MAHI
MAHI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee.  Well done, your fishiness.  And
Kylie, that was a very brave challenge.
     Here's what happened in our only TV challenge:  STRAFE (82-11158) (45-18-0,205)
of BLACK PRIMERS TV challenged SUPER BUM (82-18411) (47-27-1,207) of FLAT BROKE.
STRAFE viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge fight.  It
was a good challenge and a good win.  Well fought, both of you.
     Nobody avoided anybody.  Too bad.  You should use your avoids.  No one died,
either.  That's basically a good thing, but I'm afraid it could be a sign that you
all aren't trying hard enough.  Come on, we're Delarquans!  We're fierce and
dangerous!  You can't have fierce fights without occasionally breaking an egg.  I
mean, you can't make an omelet without killing somebody.
     Guess who made "Overall Popularity Leader" this turn!  Crack is Cheap! HITZ (82-
10428) (27-14-0,229) of 4-LETTER DOCTORS fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (38-33-
0,188) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.  HITZ savagely defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in an exciting 4
minute bloody match.
     Well, Doc Steele (the warrior) fought our top Total Parry, and won the Scum
Sympathy vote for this turn.  The fight wasn't really that scummy, though.  DOC
STEELE (18-6010) (72-137-6,221) of ARROGANCE fought BRICKTOP (18-7955) (40-29-0,200)
of WASTELAND.  DOC STEELE was unbelievably bested by BRICKTOP in an exciting 6 minute
brutal contest.
     You know Adashir is a competent warrior, you can tell it from his record.  So he
just had a bad day, not quite used to being on the Isle maybe.  Some of our spicy
Talahyan cuisine might have disagreed with  him.  THE IMPECCABLE PIG (5-3818) (21-11-
0,65) of JUST DON'T CARE fought ADASHIR (42-4088) (17-6-1,89) of HIGHER PURPOSE.  THE
IMPECCABLE PIG devastated ADASHIR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
     Doc Steele (the manager), thanks for clearing up my confusion about where
Wiggler went, and when.  I really appreciate it.
     You know, it was a very quiet turn, and I have nothing else to say about the
fights.  So I'll let you go...all right, with a bit of advice.  When you are married
(or one-half of an sort of partnership) you take turns being the driving force.  So
when your turn comes, be ready.  Otherwise you'll both go back to bed for a long nap
until your partner is ready to take over again.  Oh, and:  when in doubt, paint
something pink!  But if your partner is afraid of pink, as many partners are, call it
"peach."
     That's all.  Let's have more fights next turn so there will be more to talk
about, please.

                                Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          128  75  1  275  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        47  33  1  260  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        62  34  1  257  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       36   8  0  240  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 MOLOCH 62-1267              35  46  1  240  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 HITZ 82-10428               28  14  0  237  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          85  88  0  226  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 STRAFE 82-11158             46  18  0  223  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          39  45  2  216  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 COOLER 82-7277              53  48  1  215  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HARV 82-20046               29  11  1  213  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
 BRADEN 6-4867               74 116  1  212  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HEART 97-1096               34  25  4  212  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      95  81  2  208  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            41  29  0  208  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 FEAR 82-10416               37  54  1  208  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG
 GOKU 7-5628                 30  13  0  208  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        39  54  1  206  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SCHYLER 6-4866              73 117  1  205  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          47  28  1  205  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 HEAT 98-981                 30  22  4  205  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 KYLIE 18-6057               41  32  1  203  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          72 138  6  201  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  27  12  2  200  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 YUENGLING 82-16265          26  16  1  200  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             37  49  2  199  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 PTI 7-5412                  47  28  0  198  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
-GATEWAY 82-15631            29   7  0  198  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           95  40  2  197  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 MUCKER 42-3596              81  81  2  197  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           36  38  2  197  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     73  34  1  194  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
-SMELLY TOES 82-17409        29  15  0  194  HYBRIDS V (1255)           DWES EG
 ONE A DAY 98-799            45  36  3  193  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 PUD 126 82-22024            33  19  0  193  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     38  34  0  191  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         25  29  0  191  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         71  65  2  190  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      40  47  2  190  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   115 118  0  188  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  71  61  0  186  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 164  0  184  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 GAMBLE 7-4884               22  14  3  184  INDIFFERENCE (1194)        BONSUR
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       66  67  1  183  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67  98  1  182  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       35  36  0  181  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  29  0  180  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 GOHAN 18-8449               33  19  1  180  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-FLUFFY WONDER BUNN 82-1953  33  16  0  177  2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES I (1253 DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          59  93  1  175  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         48  96  2  175  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  24  3  171  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE
 RED FUSION 6-5480           47  22  0  170  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   7  3  169  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 ROID RAGE 62-1408           22  19  2  162  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 2 62-2976                   39  34  3  160  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           28  19  0  154  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  36  28  0  153  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    32  90  2  140  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 FREAK 18-7300               24  12  4  136  RUN AND HYDE (1221)        TALCAMA
 BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880     31  21  2  135  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 APOLLYON 62-2348            25  25  1  134  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       25  10  0  124  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 MUTINEER 7-2607             32  25  2  122  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         35  87  1  120  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            24   4  0  107  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DAVE 18-8535                27  16  0   97  SHEPHERDS (432)            TALCAMA
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   22  11  0   93  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 A. CAPONE 18-3228           17  18  3   92  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  19   6  0   85  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 MASSAGE PARLOR 82-3972      11   7  1   80  ELIMINATED SATURDAY (1267) DWES EG
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          12  17  0   78  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310       6  21  3   77  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-RED SKELTON 42-4153         23  17  0   71  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
 ADASHIR 42-4088             17   7  1   70  HIGHER PURPOSE (1259)      RODEKI
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        25  20  0   63  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG
 SINDARION 18-8499           25  15  1   53  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          11   1  4   50  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE
 BOZO 42-4016                22  54  0   48  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Desiree & Inquiring Mind -- There is a split after each tourney where warriors are
re-classified for tourney purposes.  Every other split some time after each Mail In
tourney, warriors have the opportunity to move to new arenas.  Wiggler was Contender
qualified, so when the warriors moved after the Mail In she was forced to go to
Primus to continue her career.  She has fought in Primus for three turns now.  It was
confusing because the Commission was very late in moving warriors this split, so
Wiggler actually fought in Darkholm a few turns longer than she should have.  Drop by
and see her in Primus anytime. -- Doc Steele

     I will!  And thank you for the very helpful information. -- Desiree

Super Bum -- (groaning)  That is NOT what I needed today, besides being a classic
style match to confound me.  My winning record is being imperiled!  Not that I care,
but I thought I should say such a thing. -- Mucker

Bricktop -- And we only went eleven minutes.  I feel badly about that.  I should
probably have been wearing heavier armor.  Sorry. -- Maginot Mike
P.S.  Are you this "brick golem from Mordant" I've been hearing about?  (pause to
peer closely at the fight report)  No, not from Mordant.  Well, it could still be a
trick of some kind, couldn't it?

Credit Line -- If your claim, the one made in your team name, is TRUE--which I
reserve judgment on, as born people will say ANYTHING--then I'll be sure to get a
credit line along with my gender attachment.  It's coming any day now, you know.
They can't keep it from me forever. -- Life of Osksi

2 -- I feel that your cognomen sets a bad precedent.  Assert your personship and get
a real name! -- Tolais Deepheart

Desiree (not your real name) -- Only to the extent that most Delarquans are
cannaries.  It's their race. -- Life of Osksi, above things like race

     Life -- No no, the canary races are held in Fratsfa.  I know; I saw them one
     year.  Not, mind you, that I was THERE for the canary races, but the canaries
     and I just happened to be there in the same week. -- Desiree

30 January 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to announce with glad hearts that Heathen
Hatebred is no longer just a friend, but also an alliance-mate.  Heathen brings a lot
with him to our alliance.  His experience, talent, and loyalty will be a great
benefit to us all.  Welcome Heathen; may all our enemies' blood continue to flow
freely! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STRAFE viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge fight.
KYLIE was demolished by MAHI MAHI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee.
CREDIT LINE was vanquished by CLEANER WRASSE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
THE CUTICLE DANCE was defeated by NEOSPHINCTER in a exciting 2 minute fight.
MOLOCH slimly won victory over PTI in a action packed 3 minute gory brawl.
ETCHED IN STONE was viciously subdued by MISS HONEY in a 3 minute match.
PUD 126 was defeated by BRADEN in a action packed 1 minute melee.
BOB, ETERNAL, vanquished MUCKER in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
ONE A DAY was viciously subdued by FEAR in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
MIMIC BLENNY overpowered DR DAZZLE in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
HITZ savagely defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in a exciting 4 minute bloody match.
DOC STEELE was unbelievably bested by BRICKTOP in a exciting 6 minute brutal contest.
DOC STEELE was bested by LIFE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH was defeated by SCHYLER in a popular 1 minute duel.
DUSKY JAWFISH was devastated by HE HATE ME in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven duel.
DECK SWAB was bested by HEAT in a popular 3 minute brutal brawl.
GOKU demolished WENT TO MARKET in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
ROLEX WATCH was handily defeated by COOLER in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
TASTY HANGNAIL was vanquished by HEART in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
GRINGOLD vanquished STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
HARV overpowered GOHAN in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
RED FUSION was vanquished by NUMBERED WON in a action packed 8 minute one-sided match.
YUENGLING was defeated by DIRK CHOLERA in a action packed 1 minute match.
APOLLYON was overpowered by MANUTE BOL in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ROID RAGE was overpowered by TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MAGINOT MIKE won victory over WORK IN PROGRESS in a popular 3 minute bout.
FRIED TWINKIE luckily beat SUSHI SLINGER in a action packed 3 minute gory duel.
FRIJOLE! overpowered I WET MY BED! in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
SHINY PENNY overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GAMBLE handily defeated BILLY THE SQUID in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
MUTINEER was savagely defeated by FREAK in a exciting 3 minute brutal struggle.
A. CAPONE was devastated by HAILSTORM in a 1 minute uneven bout.
2 defeated LAUGHING BARMAID in a exciting 3 minute bloody match.
SINDARION was savagely defeated by MASSAGE PARLOR in a popular 2 minute gory duel.
CHIPS AHOY was viciously subdued by ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
KUNG PAO KITTY was viciously subdued by COOKIE FOR THE SOUL in a 5 minute duel.
UBER GOOBER subdued BOZO in a action packed 5 minute duel.
THE IMPECCABLE PIG devastated ADASHIR in a 1 minute mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         LUNGING ATTACK   116 -  83 -  0      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                      14         WALL OF STEEL     45 -  36 -  1      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  30 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         AIMED BLOW        65 -  70 -  0      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -  12 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         TOTAL PARRY       51 -  62 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  36 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 421 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        4 -  8         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW        10 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         3  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 11                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  4                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         128  75  1  275 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
AIMED BLOW       NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317       47  33  1  260 WASTELAND (468)
LUNGING ATTACK   MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541       62  34  1  257 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MOLOCH 62-1267             35  46  1  240 GRIM OBITUARY (1230)
WALL OF STEEL    STRAFE 82-11158            46  18  0  223 BLACK PRIMERS (1187)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             53  48  1  215 STYROFOAM (1090)
TOTAL PARRY      BRICKTOP 18-7955           41  29  0  208 WASTELAND (468)
BASHING ATTACK   DECK SWAB 18-2148          36  38  2  197 SEA DOGS (328)
PARRY-LUNGE      DOC STEELE 18-6808         59  93  1  175 ARROGANCE (732)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was DOC STEELE 18-6010.  The ten other most popular fighters were STRAFE 
82-11158, NUMBERED WON 18-7434, HITZ 82-10428, MISS HONEY 36-4850, COOKIE FOR THE 
SOUL 6-6002, BOZO 42-4016, FEAR 82-10416, DOC STEELE 18-6808, FREAK 18-7300, and 
SUPER BUM 82-18411.

The least popular fighter this week was ADASHIR 42-4088.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MEN WORKING 38-4189, APOLLYON 62-2348, STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836, DR 
DAZZLE 57-4485, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, CHIPS AHOY 97-1586, A. CAPONE 18-3228, BILLY THE 
SQUID 18-3880, I WET MY BED! 14-4052, and ROID RAGE 62-1408.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             1  0 0  LYRATILAN(25)        0  1 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       2  2 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          8  6 0  
KALTOS(5)            3  0 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  3 0  RODEKI(42)           1  4 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  ANDOR(57)            0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          8 10 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 164  0  184  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67  98  1  182  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  29  0  180  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 BRADEN 6-4867               74 116  1  212  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 GOKU 7-5628                 30  13  0  208  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       25  10  0  124  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          128  75  1  275  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      40  47  2  190  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         71  65  2  190  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          85  88  0  226  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       36   8  0  240  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 MUCKER 42-3596              81  81  2  197  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           95  40  2  197  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     73  34  1  194  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 MOLOCH 62-1267              35  46  1  240  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 HITZ 82-10428               28  14  0  237  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   7  3  169  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096               34  25  4  212  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 30  22  4  205  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  24  3  171  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE