DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 03/04/2006    Duedate: 03/17/2006

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-422

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1245  440  8 73.9      HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243               
  2 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212   19   14  0 57.6      DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268            
    HIGHER PURPOSE 42/1259                    5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1142 1002  8 53.3
  3 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1712 1346 19 56.0    6-INDIFFERENCE 7/1194    10    9  1 52.6
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                    RUN AND HYDE 18/1221                  
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237                  GRIM OBITUARY 62/1230                 
    ELIMINATED SATURDAY 82/1267               7 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292  809  759  6 51.6
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                          BEAN MACHINE 99/1202                  
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258                 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                      8-EXTREME BAST 66/1266  151  174  5 46.5
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                    SOUTHERNFRIEDKILLERS 17/1263          
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256                      MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 6/1262           
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252                MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS 65/1264          
    HYBRIDS V 82/1255                           MARVELOUS BASTARDS 65/1265            
  4 NUTS 82/1240         2081 1761  7 54.2    9 SRETSAMLEUD 18/1183    18   21  2 46.2
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                  SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134                   
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            SRETSAMLEUD 62/1203                   
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                         10 SEA DOGS 7/203         78  118  3 39.8
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239                    SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                     11 DELVERS 42/1000       297  472  2 38.6
    WASTELAND 18/468                            DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                       GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                     12 ARROGANCE 18/732      916 1602 17 36.4
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    NUMBERS 62/937                              THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                      13 OLD SCHOOL T 36/1269   62  111  1 35.8
    JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                   14 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150  561 1069 10 34.4
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                         THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188                     FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 423): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): BLACK WIDOW of MISTRESS 4 XMAS (Angus, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): SCANDALF of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): HOMOCULOUS of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): PINK NOSE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): QUIP of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 529): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 528): ADDUCTOR MAGNUS of MUSCLE MEN (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): OTIS THE DRUNK of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 492): WALDO of BOY O'S (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): MATT RISIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 428): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 421): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 423): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 529): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 528): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): ACT OF MALICE (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 492): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 428): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 421): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 541): HAPPY CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): TURTLEFACE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): OTIS THE DRUNK of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of the Federation!

     No one avoided anyone.  There was no "most challenged" warrior.  There were
thirty-seven fights including three challenges, which included one TV challenge.  No
one was killed.  And only Nick and his warriors wrote personal ads.  Is it fair to
say this has been a limp, anemic turn?  What's with you guys?  Maybe some managers
don't like to send their warriors to Darkholm.  But if you have sent them, then do
right by them!  USE your challenges and avoids!  Let them write personal ads!  Show
some interest!  This is Darkholm, damn it!
     We had one TV challenge.  STRAFE (82-11158) (46-18-0,223) of BLACK PRIMERS TV
challenged BRICKTOP (18-7955) (41-29-0,208) of WASTELAND.  STRAFE our top Wall of
Steel, viciously subdued BRICKTOP in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.  Well
done!
     A young stud challenged our seasoned and formidable Keeper of the Runeblade and
defeated him.  Wow!  What an upset!  BOB, ETERNAL, (38-4460) (36-8-0,240) of SANDS OF
TIME challenged MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (128-75-1,275) of BIG MEAN FISH.  BOB, ETERNAL,
demolished MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee.
     As usual, Crack is Cheap is our overall popularity leader.  CLEANER WRASSE (18-
6495) (95-81-2,208) of BIG MEAN FISH fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (38-34-0,191)
of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.  CLEANER WRASSE demolished CRACK IS CHEAP in a 2 minute
mismatched competition.
     Was there scum?  MISS HONEY (36-4850) (85-88-0,226) of SCARRY TEAM fought ONE A
DAY (98-799) (45-36-3,193) of MY DRUGS.  MISS HONEY lost to ONE A DAY in a popular 6
minute gory duel, and so became this week's favorite warrior.
     Adashir, new to the Isle, was caught unprepared in his match.  BET OR NOT DIE
(62-3981) (18-12-3,74) of SRETSAMLEUD fought ADASHIR (42-4088) (17-7-1,70) of HIGHER
PURPOSE.  BET OR NOT DIE demolished ADASHIR in a 1 minute uneven competition.
     Here's our third challenge match:  THE CUTICLE DANCE (82-13639) (27-12-2,200) of
DON'T ASK challenged SCHYLER (6-4866) (73-117-1,205) of THE LADY'S LIST.  THE CUTICLE
DANCE won victory over SCHYLER in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
     What about the other fights?  There weren't that many, so...
     * BRADEN (6-4867) (74-116-1,212) of THE LADY'S LIST fought HE HATE ME (18-7820)
(39-45-2,216) of WASTELAND.  BRADEN was overpowered by HE HATE ME in a crowd pleasing
1 minute one-sided fight.  I wonder how HE HATE ME got his name?
     * HEART (97-1096) (34-25-4,212) of ORGANS ON THE SAND fought HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH
(18-6977) (71-61-0,186) of BIG MEAN FISH.  HEART devastated HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a 1
minute one-sided duel.  Isn't Big Wave Dave the manager of Big Mean Fish?  BWD,
didn't you used to chat in the personals?  What happened?
     * HARV (82-20046) (29-11-1,213) of 4-LETTER NAMES fought NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317)
(47-33-1,260) of WASTELAND.  HARV was devastated by NEOSPHINCTER in a crowd pleasing
2 minute mismatched match.
     * HITZ (82-10428) (28-14-0,237) of 4-LETTER DOCTORS fought PUD 126 (82-22024)
(33-19-0,193) of PUDS AGAIN 6.  HITZ overpowered PUD 126 in a 1 minute uneven melee.
     * COOLER (82-7277) (53-48-1,215) of STYROFOAM fought NUMBERED WON (18-7434) (39-
54-1,206) of NEXT GENERATION.  COOLER vanquished NUMBERED WON in a popular 1 minute
uneven duel.
     * MIMIC BLENNY (18-7541) (62-34-1,257) of BIG MEAN FISH fought GRINGOLD (7-2416)
(37-49-2,199) of SEA DOGS.  MIMIC BLENNY overpowered GRINGOLD in a popular 1 minute
brutal one-sided melee.  Hi Gringold!  No episode this turn, but there will be one
next turn.  Will you write a personal ad for me next turn?
     * LIFE (3-4196) (52-164-0,184) of GAMES LIBRARY fought DR DAZZLE (57-4485) (95-
40-2,197) of PEPPER PRACTICE II.  LIFE was demolished by DR DAZZLE in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided brawl.  Life, I am certain that you deserved the
win and were robbed by the referee.
     * DUSKY JAWFISH (18-6978) (66-67-1,183) of BIG MEAN FISH fought STUPID SEXY
FLANDERS (42-3836) (36-28-0,153) of I'M SO SEXY.  DUSKY JAWFISH was overpowered by
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
     * DOC STEELE (18-6010) (72-138-6,201) of ARROGANCE fought MUCKER (42-3596) (81-
81-2,197) of DELVERS.  DOC STEELE vanquished MUCKER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
     * KYLIE (18-6057) (41-32-1,203) of UNTOUCHABLES fought GOHAN (18-8449) (33-19-
1,180) of WASTELAND.  KYLIE slimly won victory over GOHAN in a 2 minute bloody brawl.
     * MAGINOT MIKE (4-4509) (67-98-1,182) of DOGS OF WAR fought CREDIT LINE (82-
1366) (25-29-0,191) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  MAGINOT MIKE was overpowered by CREDIT
LINE in an exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
     * WENT TO MARKET (25-4288) (40-47-2,190) of THIS LITTLE PRIGGY fought PTI (7-
5412) (47-28-0,198) of WASTELAND II.  WENT TO MARKET was overpowered by PTI in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
     * ROLEX WATCH (32-3732) (71-65-2,190) of LUST MUPPETS fought SUPER BUM (82-
18411) (47-28-1,205) of FLAT BROKE.  ROLEX WATCH devastated SUPER BUM in a popular 2
minute gruesome one-sided contest.
     * DECK SWAB (18-2148) (36-38-2,197) of SEA DOGS fought RED FUSION (6-5480) (47-
22-0,170) of IT'S NEW!.  DECK SWAB was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in an action
packed 4 minute gruesome bout.
     * TOLAIS DEEPHEART (42-1620) (115-118-0,188) of DELVERS fought FRIED TWINKIE (5-
4562) (37-29-0,180) of MORE NEW TEAMS 2.  TOLAIS DEEPHEART viciously subdued FRIED
TWINKIE in a popular 4 minute brutal contest.
     * HEAT (98-981) (30-22-4,205) of WHAT A TREAT fought FEAR (82-10416) (37-54-
1,208) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY.  HEAT was overpowered by FEAR in an exciting 3 minute
gory uneven fight.
     * ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (73-34-1,194) of CEMENTIA fought FRIJOLE! (99-1214)
(27-24-3,171) of BEAN MACHINE.  ETCHED IN STONE vanquished FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute
one-sided fight.
     * YUENGLING (82-16265) (26-16-1,200) of LOCAL BEER fought MANUTE BOL (5-4233)
(28-19-0,154) of LARGE LOSERS.  YUENGLING demolished MANUTE BOL in a 1 minute one-
sided melee.
     * TASTY HANGNAIL (7-5463) (35-36-0,181) of WASTELAND II fought DOC STEELE (18-
6808) (59-93-1,175) of ARROGANCE.  TASTY HANGNAIL slimly lost to DOC STEELE in a
popular 4 minute fray.
     * GOKU (7-5628) (30-13-0,208) of WASTELAND II fought SUSHI SLINGER (96-1399)
(15-7-3,169) of SEA DOGS.  GOKU overcame SUSHI SLINGER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute
bout.
     * 2 (62-2976) (39-34-3,160) of NUMBERS fought MEN WORKING (38-4189) (35-87-
1,120) of JUST BECAUSE.  2 won victory over MEN WORKING in a popular 4 minute gory
bout.
     * SHINY PENNY (32-3789) (48-96-2,175) of FOUND IN THE SAND fought HAILSTORM (7-
5698) (24-4-0,107) of WASTELAND II.  SHINY PENNY vanquished HAILSTORM in a 1 minute
one-sided fray.
     * MUTINEER (7-2607) (32-25-2,122) of SEA DOGS fought THE IMPECCABLE PIG (5-3818)
(22-11-0,93) of JUST DON'T CARE.  MUTINEER beat THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a popular 1
minute match.
     * I WET MY BED! (14-4052) (25-10-0,124) of I BENT MY WOOKIE fought A. CAPONE
(18-3228) (17-18-3,92) of UNTOUCHABLES.  I WET MY BED! was overpowered by A. CAPONE
in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
     * WORK IN PROGRESS (38-4193) (32-90-2,140) of JUST BECAUSE fought BILLY THE
SQUID (18-3880) (31-21-2,135) of SEA DOGS.  WORK IN PROGRESS was overpowered by BILLY
THE SQUID in a 2 minute one-sided fray.
     * COOKIE FOR THE SOUL (6-6002) (19-6-0,85) of HOLE IN THE WALL fought OTIS THE
DRUNK (36-5483) (15-12-0,57) of OLD SCHOOL TOONS.  COOKIE FOR THE SOUL bested OTIS
THE DRUNK in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
     * CHIPS AHOY (97-1586) (11-1-4,50) of DEATH BY CHOCOLATE fought KUNG PAO KITTY
(97-1310) (6-21-3,77) of CUTE & KINDA DEADLY.  CHIPS AHOY was savagely defeated by
KUNG PAO KITTY in a crowd pleasing 5 minute match.
     * UBER GOOBER (82-26198) (25-20-0,63) of NUTS fought ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (12-
17-0,78) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II.  UBER GOOBER was viciously subdued by ??RADAR?? in
an exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
     * MASSAGE PARLOR (82-3972) (11-7-1,80) of ELIMINATED SATURDAY fought PEON
NECROMANCER (18-7856) (24-16-5,80) of SRETSAMLEUD.  MASSAGE PARLOR viciously subdued
PEON NECROMANCER in an action packed 2 minute match.
     * YOU (62-4002) (17-10-1,51) of SRETSAMLEUD fought SINDARION (18-8499) (25-15-
1,53) of UNTOUCHABLES.  YOU was beaten by SINDARION in a popular 2 minute bloody
duel.
     * BOZO (42-4016) (22-54-0,48) of CLOWNING AROUND fought MY1STADMWARRIOR (37-
4668) (25-11-1,63) of SRETSAMLEUD.  BOZO luckily beat MY1STADMWARRIOR in an exciting
2 minute gruesome fight.  Well done, Bozo.  Do it again next turn.
     I hope to see you all in a more energetic mood next turn.  Have a fun fortnight!

                             Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       37   8  0  280  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        48  33  1  282  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        63  34  1  270  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 HITZ 82-10428               29  14  0  253  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
-MOLOCH 62-1267              35  46  1  240  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 STRAFE 82-11158             47  18  0  237  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          40  45  2  227  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 COOLER 82-7277              54  48  1  226  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 FEAR 82-10416               38  54  1  225  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEART 97-1096               35  25  4  223  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      96  81  2  221  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         72  65  2  218  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          73 138  6  211  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 KYLIE 18-6057               42  32  1  211  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GOKU 7-5628                 31  13  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PTI 7-5412                  48  28  0  207  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  28  12  2  206  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           96  40  2  205  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 ONE A DAY 98-799            46  36  3  205  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 YUENGLING 82-16265          27  16  1  204  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            41  30  0  203  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     74  34  1  200  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SCHYLER 6-4866              73 118  1  200  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         26  29  0  200  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   116 118  0  198  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          128  76  1  197  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          85  89  0  197  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             37  50  2  196  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 HARV 82-20046               29  12  1  195  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
-SMELLY TOES 82-17409        29  15  0  194  HYBRIDS V (1255)           DWES EG
 RED FUSION 6-5480           48  22  0  192  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        39  55  1  192  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 165  0  191  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 HEAT 98-981                 30  23  4  191  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 BRADEN 6-4867               74 117  1  190  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 PUD 126 82-22024            33  20  0  189  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 MUCKER 42-3596              81  82  2  188  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           36  39  2  188  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          47  29  1  187  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      40  48  2  187  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     38  35  0  187  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          60  93  1  186  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
-GAMBLE 7-4884               22  14  3  184  INDIFFERENCE (1194)        BONSUR
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  71  62  0  183  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  30  0  180  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 GOHAN 18-8449               33  20  1  180  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         49  96  2  179  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  37  28  0  179  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   8  3  178  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  25  3  177  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       35  37  0  176  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67  99  1  174  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 2 62-2976                   40  34  3  162  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
-ROID RAGE 62-1408           22  19  2  162  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       66  68  1  160  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           28  20  0  159  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880     32  21  2  149  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
-FREAK 18-7300               24  12  4  136  RUN AND HYDE (1221)        TALCAMA
-APOLLYON 62-2348            25  25  1  134  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    32  91  2  131  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         35  88  1  130  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 MUTINEER 7-2607             33  25  2  127  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 A. CAPONE 18-3228           18  18  3  127  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            24   5  0  114  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       25  11  0   98  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   22  12  0   97  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 MASSAGE PARLOR 82-3972      12   7  1   92  ELIMINATED SATURDAY (1267) DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BET OR NOT DIE 62-3981      19  12  3   89  SRETSAMLEUD (1203)         VALAMANTIS
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  20   6  0   87  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          13  17  0   85  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310       7  21  3   83  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
 PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856    24  17  5   76  SRETSAMLEUD (1183)         TALCAMA
-RED SKELTON 42-4153         23  17  0   71  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
 BOZO 42-4016                23  54  0   69  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
 OTIS THE DRUNK 36-5483      15  13  0   66  OLD SCHOOL TOONS (1269)    JHANS
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        25  21  0   63  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG
 ADASHIR 42-4088             17   8  1   63  HIGHER PURPOSE (1259)      RODEKI
 SINDARION 18-8499           26  15  1   62  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668     25  12  1   53  SRETSAMLEUD (1134)         SIBIKHAS
 YOU 62-4002                 17  11  1   53  SRETSAMLEUD (1203)         VALAMANTIS
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          11   2  4   52  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Bob, Eternal -- (recoiling)  Eternal what? -- Mucker
P.S.  You aren't supposed to do that.  The style match favors ME, dammit.

Doc Steele the Gladiator -- I will not call you a WARRIOR, because you're a pipsqueak
incompetent.  Oil would help the squeak, but only the Dark Arena in your past would
help your GROSS incompetence, which is an OFFENSE against all other golems. -- Life
of Osksi

Roid Rage -- Grim indeed.  Was it worth it? -- Tolais Deepheart

Work in Progress -- Aren't we all? -- Maginot Mike

Desiree -- True.  (thoughtfully)  I might kill for an omelet with garlic, cheese,
maybe a little basil, bacon bits...no, the bacon beside it.  Sliced fresh tart
tomato?  Cantaloupe, maybe, but the color would be wrong, too mild, though the tomato
would help.  Bell pepper strips, yes!  And if a good tomato can't be gotten, then...
V8 juice, maybe.  We can do this, let's make a date! -- Nick

     That sounds delicious!  Although I don't think you ought to kill for it.  You're
     right; the color of cantaloupe is too mild to go with an omelet.  Sliced
     oranges, maybe?  The really red ones, the one they call blood oranges?

Desiree (not your real name) -- I know they CALL them canary races, BUT I also know
that the most recent victor was actually a FINCH. -- Life of Osksi
P.S.  You can't trust Andorians.

     Life -- A finch eh?  I heard it was a parakeet. -- Desiree

Doc Steele the Manager -- My thanks.  The nuances or ins-and-outs of the advanced
game confuse me more often than not. -- Inquiring Mind

22 February 2006
The Olympics have arrived!

The Mordanti Olympics, having been gone for six years, have returned to the Mordanti
Alliance, sponsored by Amicitia Primoris.  Teams have competed against each other for
recognition and notoriety four times in the past.  It is far past time for the fifth
Mordanti Olympics to be held.  The Mordanti Olympics shall be held in the Mordant
arena (DM-1) from May 1st (T544) through Oct 30 (T557).  There will be a
'registration period' lasting until T543, where teams will be allowed to register by
activating in Mordant and declaring their participation in the personals.  Rules will
be posted in the Mordant arena (DM-1) newsletter no later than T543, but shall be
available online before then.  An announcement will be made as to where they will be
posted.  Prizes will be awarded to the winners.

Lord Xiang
Amicitia Primoris
amicitia@gwi.net
http://amicitiaprimoris.gotdns.com

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STRAFE viciously subdued BRICKTOP in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.
BOB, ETERNAL, demolished MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee.
THE CUTICLE DANCE won victory over SCHYLER in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
BRADEN was overpowered by HE HATE ME in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fight.
HEART devastated HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HARV was devastated by NEOSPHINCTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute mismatched match.
HITZ overpowered PUD 126 in a 1 minute uneven melee.
COOLER vanquished NUMBERED WON in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
MISS HONEY lost to ONE A DAY in a popular 6 minute gory duel.
MIMIC BLENNY overpowered GRINGOLD in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided melee.
CLEANER WRASSE demolished CRACK IS CHEAP in a 2 minute mismatched competition.
LIFE was demolished by DR DAZZLE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided brawl.
DUSKY JAWFISH was overpowered by STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DOC STEELE vanquished MUCKER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
KYLIE slimly won victory over GOHAN in a 2 minute bloody brawl.
MAGINOT MIKE was overpowered by CREDIT LINE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
WENT TO MARKET was overpowered by PTI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
ROLEX WATCH devastated SUPER BUM in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided contest.
DECK SWAB was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in a action packed 4 minute gruesome bout.
TOLAIS DEEPHEART viciously subdued FRIED TWINKIE in a popular 4 minute brutal contest.
HEAT was overpowered by FEAR in a exciting 3 minute gory uneven fight.
ETCHED IN STONE vanquished FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
YUENGLING demolished MANUTE BOL in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
TASTY HANGNAIL slimly lost to DOC STEELE in a popular 4 minute fray.
GOKU overcame SUSHI SLINGER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
2 won victory over MEN WORKING in a popular 4 minute gory bout.
SHINY PENNY vanquished HAILSTORM in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MUTINEER beat THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a popular 1 minute match.
I WET MY BED! was overpowered by A. CAPONE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
WORK IN PROGRESS was overpowered by BILLY THE SQUID in a 2 minute one-sided fray.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL bested OTIS THE DRUNK in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
CHIPS AHOY was savagely defeated by KUNG PAO KITTY in a crowd pleasing 5 minute match.
UBER GOOBER was viciously subdued by ??RADAR?? in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
MASSAGE PARLOR viciously subdued PEON NECROMANCER in a action packed 2 minute match.
YOU was beaten by SINDARION in a popular 2 minute bloody duel.
BET OR NOT DIE demolished ADASHIR in a 1 minute uneven competition.
BOZO luckily beat MY1STADMWARRIOR in a exciting 2 minute gruesome fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  26         WALL OF STEEL     49 -  32 -  1      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                      14         LUNGING ATTACK   114 -  90 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -  10 -  0      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  28 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         AIMED BLOW        65 -  72 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         TOTAL PARRY       50 -  63 -  0      44  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    23 -  34 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 422 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         6 -  8         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    13 - 13     TOTAL PARRY        4 -  8         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460      37   8  0  280 SANDS OF TIME (1178)
LUNGING ATTACK   MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541       63  34  1  270 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
WALL OF STEEL    STRAFE 82-11158            47  18  0  237 BLACK PRIMERS (1187)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             54  48  1  226 STYROFOAM (1090)
TOTAL PARRY      ONE A DAY 98-799           46  36  3  205 MY DRUGS (1179)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         128  76  1  197 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
BASHING ATTACK   DECK SWAB 18-2148          36  39  2  188 SEA DOGS (328)
PARRY-LUNGE      DOC STEELE 18-6808         60  93  1  186 ARROGANCE (732)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   32  91  2  131 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was MISS HONEY 36-4850.  The ten other most popular fighters were DECK SWAB 
18-2148, TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620, STRAFE 82-11158, MEN WORKING 38-4189, ??RADAR?? 
82-20310, KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310, MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668, OTIS THE DRUNK 36-5483, 
ONE A DAY 98-799, and FEAR 82-10416.

The least popular fighter this week was ADASHIR 42-4088.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were I WET MY BED! 14-4052, HAILSTORM 7-5698, MANUTE BOL 5-4233, MUCKER 
42-3596, PUD 126 82-22024, HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977, FRIJOLE! 99-1214, WENT TO 
MARKET 25-4288, MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509, and DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        0  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            2  0 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       2  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            0  3 0  JHANS(36)            0  2 0  DWES EG(82)          9  5 0  
TRANSEL(6)           2  2 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            3  3 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           3  2 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)         10  8 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 165  0  191  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67  99  1  174  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  30  0  180  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866              73 118  1  200  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GOKU 7-5628                 31  13  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       25  11  0   98  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        48  33  1  282  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      40  48  2  187  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         72  65  2  218  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          85  89  0  197  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668     25  12  1   53  SRETSAMLEUD (1134)         SIBIKHAS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       37   8  0  280  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   116 118  0  198  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           96  40  2  205  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     74  34  1  200  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   40  34  3  162  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 HITZ 82-10428               29  14  0  253  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   8  3  178  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096               35  25  4  223  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799            46  36  3  205  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  25  3  177  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE