DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 03/18/2006    Duedate: 03/31/2006

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-423

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1245  440  8 73.9      MORE NEW TEAMS 2 5/1188               
  2 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1212   23   14  0 62.2      NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    HIGHER PURPOSE 42/1259                      HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243               
  3 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1715 1349 19 56.0      DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268            
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                  5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1142 1003  8 53.2
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1237                6 INDIFFERENCE 7/1194    12   11  1 52.2
    ELIMINATED SATURDAY 82/1267                 RUN AND HYDE 18/1221                  
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258                 GRIM OBITUARY 62/1230                 
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                        7 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292  812  763  6 51.6
    LUST MUPPETS 32/1036                        BEAN MACHINE 99/1202                  
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256                      CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                  8-SRETSAMLEUD 18/1183    18   21  2 46.2
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252                SRETSAMLEUD 37/1134                   
  4 NUTS 82/1240         2095 1774  7 54.1      SRETSAMLEUD 62/1203                   
    PEPPER PRACTICE II 57/1069                9 SEA DOGS 7/203         79  121  3 39.5
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                            SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                       10 DELVERS 42/1000       297  476  2 38.4
    I BENT MY WOOKIE 14/1239                    DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    SANDS OF TIME 38/1178                       GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                     11 ARROGANCE 18/732      922 1603 17 36.5
    WASTELAND 18/468                            SCARRY TEAM 36/824                    
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    NUMBERS 62/937                              JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    WASTELAND II 7/500                       12-OLD SCHOOL T 36/1269   62  111  1 35.8
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                         13 NEXT GENERAT 18/1150  562 1072 10 34.4
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                         THIS LITTLE PRIGGY 25/1162            
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         FOUND IN THE SAND 32/1034             
    JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                      CLOWNING AROUND 42/1200               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 540): MESSIAH of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 424): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 548): BUD SMITH of BOMBAY BUMBLE BEES (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 544): ALL LICKERED UP of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 543): HOFFA of JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 547): HOBBLED of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 544): PINK NOSE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 539): QUIP of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 530): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 529): SCYTHE of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 503): OLIVE OYL of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 493): GROUCHO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 218): MATT RISIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 481): KANGAROO LIFEBOAT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 429): SPIDER-MAN of WENSINWASIN M.H. (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): NICKLEBACK of MILLENIUM METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 378): DIED of SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): 2 PHAT 2 of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 422): BOB, ETERNAL of SANDS OF TIME from CLIFFHOME (The Muffin
                             Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 540): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 424): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 548): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 544): DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 543): I HEART BALLS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 547): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 544): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 539): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 530): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 529): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 503): ACT OF MALICE (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 493): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 218): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 481): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 429): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): none
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 378): LEGION OF LEGEND (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 422): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 544): ALL LICKERED UP of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 543): HOFFA of JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
               (turn 542): ICE FOX of OF WOLF AND MEN 4 (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 546): HORNED ONE of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): TURTLEFACE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): OTIS THE DRUNK of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 493): HARANDUR of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 481): KANGAROO LIFEBOAT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 429): SPIDER-MAN of WENSINWASIN M.H. (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
                          WIMPIRA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 377): EB GOLLU of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (170): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hello, Holmboys!

     Someone has been teaching Debby Tonte to fight.  CHIPS AHOY (97-1586) (11-2-
4,52) of DEATH BY CHOCOLATE fought DEBBY TONTE (104-2) (20-30-0,30) of ARENA STAND-
INS.  CHIPS AHOY was savagely defeated by DEBBY TONTE in an exciting 5 minute bloody
match.  Chips...what can I say?  That was WAY albendranious.  But do you know what's
worse?  If stand-ins were eligible, Ms. Tonte would have make "This Week's Favorite."
She got more votes than anybody.  I think it was the way she kept flipping that
bleached mane of hers.
     But since she wasn't eligible, Gringold was this turn's most popular warrior.
SUPER BUM (82-18411) (47-29-1,187) of FLAT BROKE fought GRINGOLD (7-2416) (37-50-
2,196) of SEA DOGS.  SUPER BUM won victory over GRINGOLD in a popular 4 minute
gruesome match.
     Our least popular warrior was The Impeccable Pig.  PUPPETMASTER (62-2295) (25-
17-3,142) of GRIM OBITUARY fought THE IMPECCABLE PIG (5-3818) (22-12-0,97) of JUST
DON'T CARE.  PUPPETMASTER vanquished THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
Yeah, the fight was lame...though not more lame than many others...but I do like
Pig's name.
     Our premier Aimed Blow Practitioner has hung onto the title and the Runeblade!
BOB, ETERNAL, (38-4460) (37-8-0,280) of SANDS OF TIME challenged MIMIC BLENNY (18-
7541) (63-34-1,270) of BIG MEAN FISH.  BOB, ETERNAL, bested MIMIC BLENNY in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute Challenge Title fight.  Well done Bob, and please take the time to
write us a column.  At least you took the time to challenge.  Mimic Blenny was our
most challenged warrior, but since this was the only challenge match...mm hmm.
     As usual, Crack is Cheap held onto the title of Overall Popularity Leader.
(sigh)  I miss Hansel.  SCHYLER (6-4866) (73-118-1,200) of THE LADY'S LIST fought
CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (38-35-0,187) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.  SCHYLER savagely
defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in an action packed 4 minute struggle.
     Oh no, I'm sorry to see that Gringold didn't make it this time.  SUPER BUM (82-
18411) (47-29-1,187) of FLAT BROKE fought GRINGOLD (7-2416) (37-50-2,196) of SEA
DOGS.  SUPER BUM won victory over GRINGOLD in a popular 4 minute gruesome match.
Only four minutes, but the audience perceived it as a battle of attrition and gave
Grinny the "scum sympathy" vote this time.  I am not the one who ought to be talking
about endurance at the moment, so...enough said.
     No one was killed, which is probably a good thing.  There were no avoids, which
is a BAD thing!  Look around you.  Isn't there someone around here you DON'T want to
fight?  Someone with halitosis, some golem who bleeds a disgusting color?  Look
around you.  I think you should be avoiding team #10.  That's right, the Delvers.  Do
it for Desiree.
     And now, the Big Excuse!  I was in the middle of moving.  This Dark Tower is too
drafty.  I'm keeping my office here but have moved my residence to a nice apartment
on the other side of Willow Beach.  And so, the clerks didn't know where to find me
and I didn't get connected back with them until just recently.  Hence...oh, don't
look at me like that.  I feel bad enough!  Hence, there is no continuation this time
of the adventure of Wiggler and Gringold.  Well, yes, I could have gotten that done
ahead of time...but...I was working hard on moving?*  Gringold, I am really sorry but
will have to delay yet another turn in publishing your exploits.  You were extremely
brave, though.
     (*Real life excuse:  Same thing.  Moving, exhausted, no internet till today, not
really an excuse but it'll have to do.)
     With a weary smile and very best wishes,

                                                 Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       38   8  0  303  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        49  33  1  295  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-HITZ 82-10428               29  14  0  253  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         73  65  2  237  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
-STRAFE 82-11158             47  18  0  237  BLACK PRIMERS (1187)       DWES EG
 KYLIE 18-6057               43  32  1  224  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 GOKU 7-5628                 32  13  0  219  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PTI 7-5412                  49  28  0  218  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           97  40  2  216  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          61  93  1  214  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          86  89  0  212  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HARV 82-20046               30  12  1  208  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
 SCHYLER 6-4866              74 118  1  207  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  72  62  0  206  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 MIMIC BLENNY 18-7541        63  35  1  206  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
-THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  28  12  2  206  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          129  76  1  205  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     75  34  1  204  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 FEAR 82-10416               38  55  1  204  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG
-YUENGLING 82-16265          27  16  1  204  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 DECK SWAB 18-2148           37  39  2  202  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      41  48  2  201  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 PUD 126 82-22024            34  20  0  201  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277              54  49  1  200  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          48  29  1  200  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 BRADEN 6-4867               75 117  1  199  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ONE A DAY 98-799            46  37  3  199  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 NUMBERED WON 18-7434        39  56  1  199  NEXT GENERATION (1150)     TALCAMA
 MOLOCH 62-1267              35  47  1  195  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         26  30  0  195  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
 GRINGOLD 7-2416             37  51  2  194  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 HEART 97-1096               35  26  4  194  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 31  23  4  194  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 MUCKER 42-3596              81  83  2  193  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          73 139  6  193  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           48  23  0  192  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            41  31  0  190  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          40  46  2  190  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GOHAN 18-8449               34  20  1  190  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 2 62-2976                   41  34  3  188  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     38  36  0  186  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 166  0  185  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495      96  82  2  184  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
-GAMBLE 7-4884               22  14  3  184  INDIFFERENCE (1194)        BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   116 119  0  180  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         49  97  2  180  FOUND IN THE SAND (1034)   ARVAT
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  31  0  179  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       67  68  1  176  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  26  3  172  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  37  29  0  171  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           29  20  0  169  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       35  38  0  166  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    33  91  2  164  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 APOLLYON 62-2348            26  25  1  162  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
-ROID RAGE 62-1408           22  19  2  162  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         36  88  1  152  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67 100  1  149  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   9  3  149  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 PUPPETMASTER 62-2295        26  17  3  146  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 A. CAPONE 18-3228           19  18  3  144  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
 BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880     32  22  2  134  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 FREAK 18-7300               24  13  4  134  RUN AND HYDE (1221)        TALCAMA
-MUTINEER 7-2607             33  25  2  127  SEA DOGS (203)             BONSUR
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            24   6  0  107  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       26  11  0  100  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   22  13  0  100  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          14  17  0   92  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MASSAGE PARLOR 82-3972      12   7  1   92  ELIMINATED SATURDAY (1267) DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-BET OR NOT DIE 62-3981      19  12  3   89  SRETSAMLEUD (1203)         VALAMANTIS
 ADASHIR 42-4088             18   8  1   88  HIGHER PURPOSE (1259)      RODEKI
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310       7  22  3   79  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
-PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856    24  17  5   76  SRETSAMLEUD (1183)         TALCAMA
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        26  21  0   74  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  20   7  0   73  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 SINDARION 18-8499           27  15  1   71  UNTOUCHABLES (1212)        TALCAMA
-OTIS THE DRUNK 36-5483      15  13  0   66  OLD SCHOOL TOONS (1269)    JHANS
 BOZO 42-4016                23  55  0   65  CLOWNING AROUND (1200)     RODEKI
-MY1STADMWARRIOR 37-4668     25  12  1   53  SRETSAMLEUD (1134)         SIBIKHAS
-YOU 62-4002                 17  11  1   53  SRETSAMLEUD (1203)         VALAMANTIS
 TURTLEFACE 7-5734           15   2  0   51  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          11   3  4   37  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Mimic Blenny -- If only I'd been a fisherman like my father before me, I might have a
better shot against you and your teammates.  Just wait until Sushi Slinger gets up
high enough, then you'll be sorry! -- Gringold

Desiree -- Big lake monsters, little lake monsters, big mean fish...add the fact that
I've been trying for the same stat train for nine turns in a row and I feel like I'm
living the same day over and over again.  Its not a good day, either. -- Gringold

     And I haven't improved it any, sorry.  I wonder if those Big Mean Fish DO come
     from the Lake of Mists originally?

Dr Dazzle -- You DARE to call yourself a DOCTOR after behaving like that?  You are a
disgrace!  It says right HERE in the fight report that you're CRUEL.  It says so
TWICE, and even the Lord Protectors in the stands could tell they cried out to STOP
you doing your evil tricks on me!  You are an OFFENSE against the Hippopotamic Oath!
SHAME on you!  No sugar in YOUR tea. -- Life of Osksi

Doc Steele, one of the warriors of that name from Arrogance -- Nasty fellow, aren't
you?  Seeing my perfectly balanced record, you decided to tip it over into losership.
Tedious of you.  I may get it back, but then again, maybe not.  It all depends. --
Mucker

Credit Line -- Women really go for that?  Hmm.  I wonder if I could get one, then.
I've never had a credit line, never felt the need, but if it will do THAT for
me...why not, eh? -- Maginot Mike

Fried Twinkie -- I couldn't help it if I wanted to, that is NOT a proper warrior's
name, and certainly not a suitable way to treat even so lowly a food as a twinkie.
(shudder)  Worse than a soggy doughnut, I would think, and that's a bad thing indeed.
-- Tolais Deepheart

Desiree -- YES!  For a born person, you almost approach a golem's superior
understanding. -- Life of Osksi

     Uh-oh, I mean...I do?

Desiree -- No, the oranges, even blood oranges (shudder), wouldn't do.  Tomato, or
possibly a red bell pepper to go with the green one....  Hmm, have to think about
that.  Can I have nominally edible things on my plate that I have no intention of

eating, such as strips of purple eggplant?  Or, now that I think about it, my father
once died cottage cheese blue in order to make it contrast with pasta.  Maybe I could
try that.  Hmm.  The possibilities here are intriguing. -- Nick

     You can have a red chile pepper.  I think the blue cottage cheese sounds
     disgusting.

Desiree -- Regarding the dearth of personals last time:  While there is a tendency of
managers to think they've done enough when they send in strategies and pay the fees
(and those ARE the crucial things), I too have noticed a disinclination to talk HERE
(I believe there is considerable conversation ELSEWHERE, but that does US no good).
BUT, consider that of late weeks, Hal has been...ill disciplined, shall we say.
Inclined to snap up personals and not disgorge them.  Wait until Hal has been
muzzled, and then, if there are still no personals, slice and dice the lazy bums. --
Ketchum
P.S.  They won't take you seriously so long as you leave that pink flamingo on the
lawn, you know.

     There is no pink flamingo on the lawn of the Black Tower!  (peering out the
     window)  Oh.  I'll get my crossbow and shoot the nasty creature right now.

22 February 2006
The Olympics have arrived!

The Mordanti Olympics, having been gone for six years, have returned to the Mordanti
Alliance, sponsored by Amicitia Primoris.  Teams have competed against each other for
recognition and notoriety four times in the past.  It is far past time for the fifth
Mordanti Olympics to be held.  The Mordanti Olympics shall be held in the Mordant
arena (DM-1) from May 1st (T544) through Oct 30 (T557).  There will be a
'registration period' lasting until T543, where teams will be allowed to register by
activating in Mordant and declaring their participation in the personals.  Rules will
be posted in the Mordant arena (DM-1) newsletter no later than T543, but shall be
available online before then.  An announcement will be made as to where they will be
posted.  Prizes will be awarded to the winners.

Lord Xiang
Amicitia Primoris
amicitia@gwi.net
http://amicitiaprimoris.gotdns.com

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BOB, ETERNAL, bested MIMIC BLENNY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
HEART was subdued by MISS HONEY in a exciting 1 minute melee.
FEAR was overpowered by DR DAZZLE in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
COOLER was bested by GOKU in a popular 1 minute fight.
MOLOCH was demolished by NEOSPHINCTER in a 3 minute mismatched competition.
DOC STEELE was viciously subdued by PUD 126 in a 2 minute bloody match.
ROLEX WATCH viciously subdued RED FUSION in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fight.
HE HATE ME lost to DECK SWAB in a action packed 1 minute duel.
CLEANER WRASSE was overpowered by DOC STEELE in a popular 2 minute uneven duel.
KYLIE savagely defeated ONE A DAY in a action packed 3 minute gory match.
LIFE was savagely defeated by BRADEN in a exciting 4 minute bloody match.
MAHI MAHI handily defeated MUCKER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH savagely defeated BRICKTOP in a popular 3 minute bloody brawl.
NUMBERED WON was overcome by ETCHED IN STONE in a action packed 1 minute fight.
SCHYLER savagely defeated CRACK IS CHEAP in a action packed 4 minute struggle.
WENT TO MARKET overpowered STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
TOLAIS DEEPHEART was defeated by 2 in a exciting 6 minute brutal bout.
HEAT beat SHINY PENNY in a popular 3 minute match.
HARV handily defeated FRIED TWINKIE in a popular 3 minute gory mismatched competition.
SUPER BUM won victory over GRINGOLD in a popular 4 minute gruesome match.
CREDIT LINE was vanquished by PTI in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
MAGINOT MIKE was savagely defeated by APOLLYON in a popular 1 minute gruesome fight.
DUSKY JAWFISH beat TASTY HANGNAIL in a action packed 3 minute fight.
MANUTE BOL overpowered FREAK in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GOHAN vanquished FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SUSHI SLINGER was overcome by WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute bout.
HAILSTORM was handily defeated by A. CAPONE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
PUPPETMASTER vanquished THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BILLY THE SQUID was savagely defeated by MEN WORKING in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
I WET MY BED! overpowered INKEEPER'S SON in a popular 2 minute gory one-sided match.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL was savagely defeated by ADASHIR in a popular 1 minute bout.
SINDARION subdued TURTLEFACE in a action packed 3 minute contest.
UBER GOOBER defeated BOZO in a exciting 5 minute struggle.
??RADAR?? savagely defeated KUNG PAO KITTY in a exciting 2 minute gruesome struggle.
CHIPS AHOY was savagely defeated by DEBBY TONTE in a exciting 5 minute bloody match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  20         WALL OF STEEL     48 -  33 -  1      59  |
|AIMED BLOW                      14         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -   9 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         LUNGING ATTACK   116 -  90 -  0      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  26 -  0      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         AIMED BLOW        65 -  74 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         TOTAL PARRY       51 -  62 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   8 -  0      38  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK    21 -  35 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 423 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK    12 -  8     AIMED BLOW         6 -  8         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  3         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        4 -  7         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460      38   8  0  303 SANDS OF TIME (1178)
WALL OF STEEL    ROLEX WATCH 32-3732        73  65  2  237 LUST MUPPETS (1036)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOKU 7-5628                32  13  0  219 WASTELAND II (500)
PARRY-LUNGE      DOC STEELE 18-6808         61  93  1  214 ARROGANCE (732)
SLASHING ATTACK  SCHYLER 6-4866             74 118  1  207 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         129  76  1  205 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    75  34  1  204 CEMENTIA (1112)
BASHING ATTACK   DECK SWAB 18-2148          37  39  2  202 SEA DOGS (328)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MOLOCH 62-1267             35  47  1  195 GRIM OBITUARY (1230)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was GRINGOLD 7-2416.  The ten other most popular fighters were TOLAIS 
DEEPHEART 42-1620, SCHYLER 6-4866, BOZO 42-4016, ROLEX WATCH 32-3732, BRADEN 6-4867, 
BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460, 2 62-2976, KYLIE 18-6057, SHINY PENNY 32-3789, and HARLEQUIN 
TUSKFISH 18-6977.

The least popular fighter this week was THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were HAILSTORM 7-5698, FRIJOLE! 99-1214, FREAK 18-7300, FEAR 
82-10416, COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, SUSHI SLINGER 
96-1399, MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, and STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  0 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       3  1 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          5  4 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  2 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           2  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        3  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  3 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  4 0  RODEKI(42)           1  4 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)         10  8 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 52 166  0  185  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         67 100  1  149  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 FRIED TWINKIE 5-4562        37  31  0  179  MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (1188)    KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866              74 118  1  207  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 GOKU 7-5628                 32  13  0  219  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 I WET MY BED! 14-4052       26  11  0  100  I BENT MY WOOKIE (1239)    TOBIR
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        49  33  1  295  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 WENT TO MARKET 25-4288      41  48  2  201  THIS LITTLE PRIGGY (1162)  LYRATILAN
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         73  65  2  237  LUST MUPPETS (1036)        ARVAT
 MISS HONEY 36-4850          86  89  0  212  SCARRY TEAM (824)          JHANS
 BOB, ETERNAL, 38-4460       38   8  0  303  SANDS OF TIME (1178)       CLIFFHOME
 MUCKER 42-3596              81  83  2  193  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DR DAZZLE 57-4485           97  40  2  216  PEPPER PRACTICE II (1069)  ANDOR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     75  34  1  204  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 MOLOCH 62-1267              35  47  1  195  GRIM OBITUARY (1230)       VALAMANTIS
 HARV 82-20046               30  12  1  208  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       15   9  3  149  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096               35  26  4  194  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1237)  SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799            46  37  3  199  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            27  26  3  172  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE