DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 11/25/2006    Duedate: 12/08/2006

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-441

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1812 1417 20 56.1      LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                   
    4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204                    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256                      JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                       HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243               
    LOCAL BEER 82/1219                        4 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1154 1009  8 53.4
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258               5 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292  885  815  7 52.1
    ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254                CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229           
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236                    BEAN MACHINE 99/1202                  
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252              6 SEA DOGS 4/1271       111  165  5 40.2
  2-DOC LEGRAND'S 69/474  366  289  6 55.9      SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    DOC LEGRAND'S LAB 3 69/531                  SEA DOGS 96/1241                      
  3 NUTS 82/1240         2361 1967  7 54.6    7 DELVERS 42/1000       333  512  3 39.4
    072905R 41/1273                             DOGS OF WAR 4/999                     
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                            GAMES LIBRARY 3/998                   
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                          8 ARROGANCE 18/732      955 1681 17 36.2
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                          9-BREAD 72/1275         583 1128 10 34.1
    WASTELAND 18/468                         10-VINCERE AUT  18/1274    4    9  0 30.8
    WASTELAND II 7/500                       11 RONIN 51/1281           4   10  0 28.6
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                     12 WINGED LEGION 6/1277    0    3  0  0.0
    DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268                  BLOODY LEGION 96/1276                 
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                        13 COLOR ME SUA 42/1280    1    0  0  100
    NUMBERS 62/937                           14 EYE OF THE S 54/1279    0    1  0  0.0
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                   

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of the night, good evening!

     I missed you last time.  I wish circumstances had not prevented my writing this
report.  I don't know who stood in for me, but I hope they did an acceptable job.
     NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317) (64-35-1,274) of WASTELAND TV challenged MUCKER (42-3596)
(95-86-2,275) of DELVERS.  NEOSPHINCTER bested MUCKER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute
Challenge fight.  This was our only challenge, making Mucker the most challenged
warrior.  There were no avoids.  Neosphincter is our top Aimed Blow, and probably the
most dangerous man in Darkholm at the moment.  Somehow, it isn't a good thing when
the most dangerous man in any particular group of warriors is also any sort of
sphincter.  Makes you walk extra softly, know what I mean?  And Mucker, I really hope
that didn't hurt too much.
     Unfortunately, we had a death this turn.  CHAOS WARRIOR (54-2069) (17-17-3,55)
of EYE OF THE STORM fought PLANKWALKER (18-8604) (26-32-2,75) of SEA DOGS.  CHAOS
WARRIOR was butchered by PLANKWALKER in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.  I hope you
are feeling better, CW.  That resurrection hangover can be a real...lady dog.
     And THIS was our title fight.  ETCHED IN STONE (61-3112) (90-36-1,298) of
CEMENTIA fought ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (23-26-0,205) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II.  ETCHED IN
STONE narrowly defeated ??RADAR?? in an action packed 3 minute Title match.  Close,
was it?  Look at the experience difference (not that it tells you that much,
considering tourneys).  Etched, I think you need to fight someone more on your level
to prove yourself.
     Our overall popularity leader is STILL CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (46-45-0,216)
of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought TOLAIS DEEPHEART (42-1620) (123-129-0,190) of DELVERS.
CRACK IS CHEAP viciously subdued TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
On record, Tolais has over twice as many fights...but I know she doesn't attend the
tourneys.  So it's easily possible that this was a fair fight, or tipped in Crack's
favor.  Ah well.  It wouldn't have mattered.  Since Hansel left (sigh), Crack has
always been our overall popularity leader.
     And Cooler was this turn's favorite, something about gallantly defending a
couple of ladies during the last week.  RED FUSION (6-5480) (59-29-0,218) of IT'S
NEW! fought COOLER (82-7277) (66-54-1,218) of STYROFOAM.  RED FUSION unbelievably
bested COOLER in an action packed 4 minute brutal battle.
     CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (33-40-0,184) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought WORK IN
PROGRESS (38-4193) (36-105-2,176) of JUST BECAUSE.  CREDIT LINE demolished WORK IN
PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  And yet--despite looking completely inept in
this fight, being this turn's LEAST favorite warrior in the eyes of the spectators--
Work in Progress is still our top Parry-Riposter.
     And that's it, my dears.  I feel I should write more, but honestly I don't have
the heart.  It's distressing to see how far Darkholm has fallen from its days of
glory.  I think I'll go have a drink and think about happier things.  May you prosper
and be well till we meet again.

                            Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     91  36  1  304  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        65  35  1  285  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 PTI 7-5412                  64  31  0  265  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PUD 126 82-22024            45  27  0  252  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 HITZ 82-10428               39  17  0  250  4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204)    DWES EG
 RED FUSION 6-5480           60  29  0  230  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 YUENGLING 82-16265          34  22  1  229  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          59  36  1  226  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  45  39  0  224  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 GOHAN 18-8449               42  30  1  222  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     47  45  0  218  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          69 103  1  217  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 SCHYLER 6-4866              81 129  1  214  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            48  42  0  210  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GOKU 7-5628                 41  22  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          23  27  0  210  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          52  52  2  209  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GATEWAY 82-15631            35  14  0  207  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277              66  55  1  206  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HARV 82-20046               42  18  1  206  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  27  18  0  204  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 MUCKER 42-3596              95  87  2  203  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI
 DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978       75  78  1  200  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
-THE GAZELLE 69-1524         39  35  0  200  DOC LEGRAND'S LAB 3 (531)  CIMMERIAC
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       22  20  3  200  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 UBER GOOBER 82-26198        38  27  0  199  NUTS (1240)                DWES EG
 MAHI MAHI 18-4899          143  80  2  198  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          78 152  6  198  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
-BOX TURTLE 69-1784          50  40  3  198  DOC LEGRAND'S LAB 8 (474)  CIMMERIAC
 VAGABOND 4-6049             20  12  1  198  SEA DOGS (1271)            JHELUM
 CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495     107  89  2  196  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 FEAR 82-10416               46  65  1  195  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG
 HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977  82  70  0  194  BIG MEAN FISH (292)        TALCAMA
 HEAT 98-981                 38  34  4  194  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   123 130  0  192  DELVERS (1000)             RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ONE A DAY 98-799            59  42  3  192  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           37  30  0  192  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         34  40  0  192  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       48  43  0  186  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            31  17  0  185  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            31  40  3  183  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BRADEN 6-4867               82 128  1  180  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 2 62-2976                   46  47  3  180  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 LIFE 3-4196                 61 175  0  178  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI
 THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  35  18  2  175  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509         73 112  2  170  DOGS OF WAR (999)          JHELUM
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310      20  27  3  169  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    36 106  2  168  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
-THE GNU 69-1519             39  42  2  165  DOC LEGRAND'S LAB 3 (531)  CIMMERIAC
 MR TACO WORKS 18-7620       23  11  1  162  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  20  12  0  160  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
-TURTLEFACE 7-5734           24   9  0  159  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880     39  33  3  152  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COLON CONVOY 18-9115        25   6  0  142  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-THE COCKATRICE 69-1522      36  46  2  141  DOC LEGRAND'S LAB 3 (531)  CIMMERIAC
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   28  25  0  140  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         37 105  1  134  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
-BARITUS 18-8674             24  25  2  113  VINCERE AUT MORI (1274)    TALCAMA
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          21  12  4  111  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PLANKWALKER 18-8604         27  32  3  100  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-THARKON 18-9112             18  10  1   89  VINCERE AUT MORI (1274)    TALCAMA
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        16   2  2   70  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     11   2  1   62  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 CHAOS WARRIOR 54-2069       17  18  3   50  EYE OF THE STORM (1279)    TROCAR
 HAWK 6-5764                 16   5  0   37  WINGED LEGION (1277)       TRANSEL
 ASSASSIN 96-1802             9   3  4   34  BLOODY LEGION (1276)       OLD VALAMANTIS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
CHAOS WARRIOR 54-2069      17  18  3 EYE OF THE STORM 1279  PLANKWALKER 18-8604    441

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Gohan -- You hairy little runt!  You are a TRAVESTY of what a person should be, which
is tall and sleek like ME!  I, after all, am the perfectly created golem here! --
Life of Osksi

Rolex Watch -- Ha, I know that you were originally Found in the Sand.  And that sand
really messed up your gears.  Some golems are sealed against it, but not being a
golem, you seem to have lacked that protection. -- Mucker

Goku -- Ah, thanks.  I don't know if this will be, or have been, enough, but it's a
good thought. -- Tolais Deepheart

Braden -- I really miss beating Assur's bashers all the time.  Maybe I should retire.
-- Maginot Mike

2 November 2006

I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.
Thanks.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
experience.
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
Light!"
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty!
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
processing.
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
Commission.
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
Arena.
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
Expected!]
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
mind!
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
Arena!]
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
graduation!]
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
GRIFFONRAWL MMA.
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
thought!]
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
     HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                               Hammer
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NEOSPHINCTER bested MUCKER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.
RED FUSION unbelievably bested COOLER in a action packed 4 minute brutal battle.
PUD 126 defeated SUSHI SLINGER in a 1 minute duel.
PTI devastated MAHI MAHI in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
TASTY HANGNAIL was subdued by DUSKY JAWFISH in a 2 minute competition.
CRACK IS CHEAP viciously subdued TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
SUPER BUM beat DOC STEELE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.
HITZ handily defeated CLEANER WRASSE in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
FEAR was savagely defeated by SCHYLER in a action packed 2 minute gory duel.
ETCHED IN STONE narrowly defeated ??RADAR?? in a action packed 3 minute Title match.
LIFE was overpowered by VAGABOND in a 2 minute bloody one-sided match.
HE HATE ME handily defeated SHADOWMANE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
BRICKTOP was savagely defeated by FERD THE TOWER in a 6 minute conflict.
GOHAN vanquished HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a 2 minute mismatched bout.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS vanquished SOLACIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
DOC STEELE devastated HAILSTORM in a exciting 1 minute one-sided brawl.
CREDIT LINE demolished WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
FRIJOLE! was beaten by MANUTE BOL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
THE CUTICLE DANCE was devastated by COOKIE FOR THE SOUL in a 1 minute contest.
GATEWAY won victory over 2 in a popular 3 minute match.
YUENGLING handily defeated ONE A DAY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory uneven duel.
GOKU savagely defeated KUNG PAO KITTY in a popular 4 minute gruesome fight.
HARV savagely defeated HEAT in a action packed 4 minute gory fight.
UBER GOOBER luckily beat SHADOWMANE in a action packed 6 minute brutal match.
BRADEN vanquished CHIPS AHOY in a action packed 3 minute brutal one-sided fray.
BILLY THE SQUID was viciously subdued by MAGINOT MIKE in a exciting 2 minute duel.
MR TACO WORKS overpowered KHALHUMS DWARF in a popular 2 minute brutal uneven duel.
COLON CONVOY savagely defeated MEN WORKING in a popular 2 minute brutal fight.
THE IMPECCABLE PIG was overpowered by RUGEN THE JELLYFISH in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ASSASSIN was demolished by 5 GOT PICKED in a 1 minute uneven contest.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! overpowered HAWK in a exciting 1 minute one-sided struggle.
CHAOS WARRIOR was butchered by PLANKWALKER in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  17         LUNGING ATTACK   106 -  77 -  1      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                      16         TOTAL PARRY       58 -  46 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         WALL OF STEEL     29 -  24 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         AIMED BLOW        66 -  70 -  0      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  17 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   17 -  22 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  13 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   8 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   7 -  1      30  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -  26 -  0      16  |

Turn 441 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         4  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW        10 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         3  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    10 -  7     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1     
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    91  36  1  304 CEMENTIA (1112)
AIMED BLOW       NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317       65  35  1  285 WASTELAND (468)
LUNGING ATTACK   PTI 7-5412                 64  31  0  265 WASTELAND II (500)
PARRY-LUNGE      DOC STEELE 18-6808         69 103  1  217 ARROGANCE (732)
SLASHING ATTACK  SCHYLER 6-4866             81 129  1  214 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
WALL OF STEEL    ??RADAR?? 82-20310         23  27  0  210 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
STRIKING ATTACK  MAHI MAHI 18-4899         143  80  2  198 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   36 106  2  168 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        37 105  1  134 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     PLANKWALKER 18-8604        27  32  3  100 SEA DOGS (328)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was COOLER 82-7277.  The ten other most popular fighters were GOKU 7-5628, 
DOC STEELE 18-6010, HARV 82-20046, SCHYLER 6-4866, BRADEN 6-4867, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, 
GATEWAY 82-15631, YUENGLING 82-16265, MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509, and MR TACO WORKS 18-7620.

The least popular fighter this week was WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were CHAOS WARRIOR 54-2069, HAWK 6-5764, ASSASSIN 96-1802, THE 
IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818, MEN WORKING 38-4189, CHIPS AHOY 97-1586, THE CUTICLE DANCE 
82-13639, HAILSTORM 7-5698, LIFE 3-4196, and MAHI MAHI 18-4899.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          8  6 1  VALAMANTIS(62)       0  1 0  
JHELUM(4)            2  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  DWES EG(82)         10  4 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  2 0  
TRANSEL(6)           4  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  2 0  TROCAR(54)           0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     0  2 0  
WILLAF(16)           1  0 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LIFE 3-4196                 61 175  0  178  GAMES LIBRARY (998)        OSKSI

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VAGABOND 4-6049             20  12  1  198  SEA DOGS (1271)            JHELUM
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           37  30  0  192  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480           60  29  0  230  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                  64  31  0  265  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     11   2  1   62  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        65  35  1  285  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    36 106  2  168  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        16   2  2   70  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  45  39  0  224  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 CHAOS WARRIOR 54-2069       17  18  3   50  EYE OF THE STORM (1279)    TROCAR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112     91  36  1  304  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   46  47  3  180  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 PUD 126 82-22024            45  27  0  252  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399       22  20  3  200  SEA DOGS (1241)            OLD VALAMANTIS
 KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310      20  27  3  169  CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 38  34  4  194  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 FRIJOLE! 99-1214            31  40  3  183  BEAN MACHINE (1202)        SOUTH RIDGE