DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 01/20/2007 Duedate: 02/02/2007
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-445
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1252 444 8 73.8 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228
2 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1827 1431 20 56.1 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197
HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243
4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242
4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204 4 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1155 1012 8 53.3
LOCAL BEER 82/1219 5 SPACE WOLVES 36/1283 38 34 0 52.8
DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 MISTRESS 4 XMAS 3/1284
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252 6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 899 825 7 52.1
4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229
ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202
3 NUTS 82/1240 2427 2005 7 54.8 7 SEA DOGS 4/1271 118 174 5 40.4
LOOK OUT! 16/1278 SEA DOGS 18/328
CEMENTIA 61/1112 SEA DOGS 96/1241
IT'S NEW! 6/1195 8 DELVERS 42/1000 340 521 3 39.5
FLAT BROKE 82/1184 DOGS OF WAR 4/999
PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998
072905R 41/1273 9 ARROGANCE 18/732 963 1697 17 36.2
MY DRUGS 98/1179 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
WASTELAND 18/468 10-SPORTS 21/1285 583 1128 10 34.1
WASTELAND II 7/500 11 WINGED LEGION 6/1277 1 8 0 11.1
WHAT A TREAT 98/1201 BLOODY LEGION 96/1276
I'M SO SEXY 42/1072 12-EYE OF THE S 54/1279 0 2 0 0.0
NUMBERS 62/937
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Warriors of the Dark Federation!
Greetings! During this round of fights, no one died, which is probably a good
thing. And no one avoided anyone, which could be considered a good thing as well.
There was one challenge fight: STRAFE (82-11158) (53-22-0,214) of BLACK PRIMERS
challenged RED FUSION (6-5480) (63-29-0,254) of IT'S NEW!. STRAFE viciously subdued
RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 5 minute Challenge fight. This was a brave challenge
against a more experienced and obviously dangerous opponent. Well done, Strafe! And
congratulations for taking the Top Wall of Steel title.
Pud 126 (and what confidence his manager showed in him, eh?) successfully
defended his title. PUD 126 (82-22024) (48-27-0,293) of PUDS AGAIN 6 fought
??RADAR?? (82-20310) (25-28-0,219) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II. PUD 126 subdued ??RADAR??
in an exciting 2 minute gory Title melee. This more-than-competent young lunger,
hardly a pud, found himself unfairly matched against someone who was much less
expert. What could he do? He fought, he won. He managed not to kill his opponent.
Well done!
Of course, Crack is Cheap still remains our overall popularity leader. This
turn he found himself matched against a fill-in warrior: Shadowmane, who was
considered too dangerous for the Dark Arena in Mordant. CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422)
(49-46-0,213) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought SHADOWMANE (104-28) (0-0-0,200) of FILL-IN
WARRIORS. CRACK IS CHEAP unbelievably bested SHADOWMANE in a popular 8 minute gory
duel. It was a GOOD show. Loved the groans of pain, the sweating, the hacking off
of that long mane.
Also matched against a fill-in warrior was Stupid Sexy Flanders (our top Aimed
Blow). How mismatched was this? Well, let's see. STUPID SEXY FLANDERS (42-3836)
(48-39-0,267) of I'M SO SEXY fought LOCAL CONSTABLE (104-22) (0-0-0,181) of ARENA
STAND-INS. STUPID SEXY FLANDERS devastated LOCAL CONSTABLE in a 2 minute bloody
mismatched bout. Hmm. Actually toyed with the man a bit, let him think he had a
chance for a few seconds. That was cruel of you, Flanders. I liked it.
Not all of the fill-in warriors did poorly, of course. Remember Dirk Cholera,
the Bandit Prince? Well, he's not fighting in this arena as a stand-in. He's still
in prison somewhere under Lady Greywand's tower. But she has made a simulacrum of
him to stand in occasionally. UBER GOOBER (82-26198) (40-28-0,211) of NUTS fought
DIRK CHOLERA (104-29) (80-50-4,250) of GOLEMS YOU DON'T WANT TO MEET IN A DARK ALLEY.
UBER GOOBER was overpowered by DIRK CHOLERA in a 2 minute mismatched fight. Be glad
he didn't take a souvenir, Goober. He...it...whatever. I bought it a mug of mead
last week. It drank, and wiped its mouth on its sleeve. Don't know how lifelike it
is, beyond that. I didn't quite have the courage to try to find out.
Speaking of golems...once again, Life was unfairly defeated by a less perfect
but (sorry) more skilled warrior. CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (36-41-0,250) of WOMEN LOVE
ME FOR MY fought LIFE (3-4196) (62-177-0,194) of GAMES LIBRARY. CREDIT LINE handily
defeated LIFE in a 2 minute brutal one-sided contest. It has been a long road,
hasn't it, Life? Surely you have earned that retirement by now, and a nice gender
attachment to enjoy it with. I hope Nick shows you some compassion.
As usual, I'm running late, and that's all I have time for. So I wish you all a
good two weeks. Try to get out in the cold and have some fun!
Desiree
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PUD 126 82-22024 49 27 0 301 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-HITZ 82-10428 42 17 0 276 4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204) DWES EG
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 49 39 0 273 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 37 41 0 259 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
HE HATE ME 18-7820 56 52 2 247 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 78 79 1 246 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
SUPER BUM 82-18411 62 37 1 242 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
STRAFE 82-11158 54 22 0 239 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) DWES EG
ONE A DAY 98-799 62 43 3 233 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
MUCKER 42-3596 98 88 2 226 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 68 36 1 226 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 50 46 0 221 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
DOC STEELE 18-6010 79 155 6 219 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 94 37 1 218 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
HEAT 98-981 40 36 4 214 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL
VAGABOND 4-6049 22 14 1 212 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 146 81 2 211 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
RED FUSION 6-5480 63 30 0 204 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
-GATEWAY 82-15631 35 15 0 203 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 84 72 0 202 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
COOLER 82-7277 67 58 1 202 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 29 20 0 202 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL
??RADAR?? 82-20310 25 29 0 201 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
DOC STEELE 18-6808 71 105 1 199 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 124 133 0 198 DELVERS (1000) RODEKI
FEAR 82-10416 48 67 1 198 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG
GOKU 7-5628 44 23 0 198 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
UBER GOOBER 82-26198 40 29 0 198 NUTS (1240) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 23 23 3 198 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
PTI 7-5412 67 32 0 197 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 42 3 197 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE
BRADEN 6-4867 84 130 1 196 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
2 62-2976 48 49 3 195 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
GOHAN 18-8449 43 33 1 192 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 38 33 0 192 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
MAGINOT MIKE 4-4509 75 114 2 191 DOGS OF WAR (999) JHELUM
TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 50 45 0 191 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 37 109 2 191 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 109 91 2 188 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
-YUENGLING 82-16265 35 24 1 187 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG
LIFE 3-4196 62 178 0 186 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
HARV 82-20046 44 20 1 183 4-LETTER NAMES (1256) DWES EG
BRICKTOP 18-7955 49 45 0 182 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 35 21 2 180 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG
HAILSTORM 7-5698 32 20 0 178 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
SCHYLER 6-4866 83 131 1 177 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
-RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478 22 13 0 175 HANNAH'S PALS (1270) DWES EG
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 22 29 3 174 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 40 36 3 168 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
COLON CONVOY 18-9115 27 8 0 165 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 29 28 0 163 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 25 12 4 156 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
MR TACO WORKS 18-7620 24 14 1 153 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 20 2 2 151 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 109 1 136 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
PLANKWALKER 18-8604 30 33 3 103 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 15 2 1 82 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
HAWK 6-5764 17 7 0 77 WINGED LEGION (1277) TRANSEL
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 18 4 1 56 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
-SWIMMING 21-5693 14 7 0 49 SPORTS (1285) SUNSET
-CHAOS WARRIOR 54-2069 17 19 3 47 EYE OF THE STORM (1279) TROCAR
ASSASSIN 96-1802 9 6 4 33 BLOODY LEGION (1276) OLD VALAMANTIS
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Nick (Delvers, et al) -- I appreciate you activating Life way back when. Obviously,
I'm pretty inactive here in Darkholm now, so retire him away. And congratulations
(?maybe?) on getting him Eligible. -- Assurnasirbanipal
Okay, I forgot to contact the Commission, and besides they were busy with the
tourney. But--remind me!--next week everyone on the team retires. -- Nick
Neosphincter -- I don't like to lose, but Nick says it's good. This is my manager?
Go figure. -- Mucker
Red Fusion -- The old familiar faces, ah. I can't say I'm going to miss you, because
that would be lying. I will ENJOY retirement. -- Tolais Deepheart
Super Bum -- You are a disgusting person, even for a born person! I should win, I
should win CONSTANTLY so I can INDUCTED in the next five days, before Nick FORCES me
into retirement! Born people are so UNFAIR to golems, just because we're PERFECT. --
Life of Osksi
Frijole -- Cool! I get the only win, what a rush! Thanks, little guy. Let me buy
you a keg! -- Maginot Mike
Desiree -- No, Life should NOT be inducted to Home Guard, or it'd run forever, and I
don't think any of us can stand that. -- Nick
Nick -- So if it's retiring next turn, will you at least be giving it the
Superior Gender Attachment for which it has so long campaigned? A womb? --
Desiree
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
STRAFE viciously subdued RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 5 minute Challenge fight.
PUD 126 subdued ??RADAR?? in a exciting 2 minute gory Title melee.
ONE A DAY vanquished TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a popular 3 minute mismatched brawl.
UBER GOOBER was overpowered by DIRK CHOLERA in a 2 minute mismatched match.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL was overpowered by MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
PTI was viciously subdued by MUCKER in a action packed 2 minute gruesome fight.
GOKU was viciously subdued by DUSKY JAWFISH in a action packed 5 minute gory duel.
CRACK IS CHEAP unbelievably bested SHADOWMANE in a popular 8 minute gory duel.
SUPER BUM savagely defeated SOLACIA in a popular 9 minute gory melee.
NEOSPHINCTER demolished FEAR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CREDIT LINE handily defeated LIFE in a 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS devastated LOCAL CONSTABLE in a 2 minute bloody mismatched bout.
HE HATE ME overpowered WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH bested TASTY HANGNAIL in a action packed 1 minute duel.
BRICKTOP was savagely defeated by FRIJOLE! in a crowd pleasing 9 minute bloody brawl.
GOHAN was overpowered by BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
MAGINOT MIKE was beaten by COOLER in a popular 2 minute bloody match.
VAGABOND devastated HAILSTORM in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
DOC STEELE lost to HEAT in a popular 3 minute gruesome match.
ETCHED IN STONE viciously subdued SHADOWMANE in a crowd pleasing 5 minute gory fray.
2 savagely defeated LAUGHING BARMAID in a popular 3 minute gruesome fight.
CLEANER WRASSE was overpowered by DOC STEELE in a popular 1 minute gory uneven fight.
HARV narrowly defeated THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a exciting 5 minute gruesome melee.
SCHYLER was handily defeated by SUSHI SLINGER in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
BRADEN handily defeated COLON CONVOY in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MR TACO WORKS was outlasted by KUNG PAO KITTY in a action packed 7 minute fight.
MANUTE BOL overpowered BILLY THE SQUID in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided match.
5 GOT PICKED overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CHIPS AHOY viciously subdued KHALHUMS DWARF in a 4 minute bloody match.
PLANKWALKER vanquished BLACK WIDOW in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
ASSASSIN was demolished by PSYCHO GRANDMA! in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
HAWK overpowered BOOKIE'S GUARD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 17 TOTAL PARRY 62 - 41 - 0 60 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 12 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 4 - 1 60 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 LUNGING ATTACK 98 - 71 - 0 58 |
|WALL OF STEEL 5 AIMED BLOW 76 - 73 - 0 51 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 WALL OF STEEL 24 - 25 - 0 49 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 3 SLASHING ATTACK 15 - 19 - 0 44 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 STRIKING ATTACK 14 - 21 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 4 - 7 - 0 36 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 15 - 0 35 |
|BASHING ATTACK 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 11 - 0 8 |
Turn 445 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 AIMED BLOW 8 - 9 4 LUNGING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 9 - 3 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 3 3 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY
STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 1 WALL OF STEEL
TOTAL PARRY 6 - 4 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 1
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK PUD 126 82-22024 49 27 0 301 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)
AIMED BLOW STUPID SEXY FLAND 42-3836 49 39 0 273 I'M SO SEXY (1072)
TOTAL PARRY DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 78 79 1 246 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
WALL OF STEEL STRAFE 82-11158 54 22 0 239 BLACK PRIMERS (1187)
STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 146 81 2 211 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
SLASHING ATTACK COOLER 82-7277 67 58 1 202 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 71 105 1 199 ARROGANCE (732)
PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 37 109 2 191 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 109 1 136 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE PLANKWALKER 18-8604 30 33 3 103 SEA DOGS (328)
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior
this turn was FRIJOLE! 99-1214. The ten other most popular fighters were MR TACO
WORKS 18-7620, SUPER BUM 82-18411, STRAFE 82-11158, GOKU 7-5628, 2 62-2976, HARV
82-20046, THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818, DOC STEELE 18-6808, ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112, and
MUCKER 42-3596.
The least popular fighter this week was ASSASSIN 96-1802. The other ten least
popular fighters were BLACK WIDOW 3-3662, COLON CONVOY 18-9115, GOHAN 18-8449, WORK
IN PROGRESS 38-4193, FEAR 82-10416, MEN WORKING 38-4189, BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880,
SCHYLER 6-4866, CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495, and HAILSTORM 7-5698.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 0 2 0 TALCAMA(18) 7 7 0 DWES EG(82) 7 3 0
JHELUM(4) 1 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 1 0
KALTOS(5) 1 1 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 2 0 0
TRANSEL(6) 2 3 0 RODEKI(42) 2 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 2 0 0
BONSUR(7) 0 4 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0
WILLAF(16) 1 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
LIFE 3-4196 62 178 0 186 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
VAGABOND 4-6049 22 14 1 212 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 38 33 0 192 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
RED FUSION 6-5480 63 30 0 204 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
GOKU 7-5628 44 23 0 198 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 15 2 1 82 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
HE HATE ME 18-7820 56 52 2 247 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 37 109 2 191 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 20 2 2 151 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 49 39 0 273 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 94 37 1 218 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
2 62-2976 48 49 3 195 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
PUD 126 82-22024 49 27 0 301 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 23 23 3 198 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 22 29 3 174 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
ONE A DAY 98-799 62 43 3 233 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 42 3 197 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE