DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL Date : 03/17/2007 Duedate: 03/30/2007 DARKHOLM DM-104 TURN-449 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1253 446 8 73.7 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268 2 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1843 1445 20 56.1 WASTELAND II 7/500 4-LETTER DOCTORS 82/1204 NUMBERS 62/937 LOCAL BEER 82/1219 I'M SO SEXY 42/1072 STREET PIZZA 18/114 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201 REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197 4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242 ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 5 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1157 1014 8 53.3 4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 908 840 7 51.9 3 MISTRESS 4 XM 3/1284 42 34 0 55.3 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229 4 NUTS 82/1240 2495 2041 8 55.0 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202 LOOK OUT! 16/1278 7 SEA DOGS 4/1271 122 186 5 39.6 CEMENTIA 61/1112 SEA DOGS 18/328 IT'S NEW! 6/1195 SEA DOGS 96/1241 PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 8 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 343 538 3 38.9 FLAT BROKE 82/1184 9 ARROGANCE 18/732 972 1712 17 36.2 MY DRUGS 98/1179 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917 072905R 41/1273 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 WASTELAND 18/468 10 POWER LEGION 16/1287 1 8 0 11.1 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Good evening, Delarquans! Nine stand-in warriors fought today. They went 3-6-0, with two of the wins being provided by Ferd the Tower. We all know the inimitable Ferd, prominent hero and gracious teacher. Kill or be killed, that used to be the Delarquan way. HAILSTORM (7-5698) (35-20- 0,194) of WASTELAND II fought FRIJOLE! (99-1214) (33-45-3,185) of BEAN MACHINE. HAILSTORM assassinated FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute one-sided duel. There was just one challenge this turn, and it was made by Strafe. STRAFE (82-11158) (54-24-0,205) of BLACK PRIMERS challenged SUPER BUM (82-18411) (64-38-1,247) of FLAT BROKE. STRAFE (our premier Wall of Steel warrior) viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight. Crowd pleasing? Yes! At least, it was definitely good for me. (sigh) I've always liked wastes. Soooo much muscle and stamina! The formidable Aimed Blow Practitioner, Credit Line, defeated one of our Doc Steeles to remain the Keeper of the Runeblade this turn. CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (40-41-0,309) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought DOC STEELE (18-6808) (73-106-1,223) of ARROGANCE. CREDIT LINE demolished DOC STEELE in a 2 minute one-sided Title melee. Despite losing, Doc remains our top Parry-Lunger (a difficult style to master, so I've been told). Well done, C.L. I hope to see a column from you in our next issue of the sporting journal? And how, you wonder, did the other Doc Steele do this turn? Better than his brother. STUPID SEXY FLANDERS (42-3836) (50-41-0,216) of I'M SO SEXY fought DOC STEELE (18- 6010) (80-157-6,195) of ARROGANCE. STUPID SEXY FLANDERS was vanquished by DOC STEELE in a 1 minute uneven duel. A double celebrity matchup! CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (50-49-0,198) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought FERD THE TOWER (104-27) (120-15-8,280) of ARENA STAND-INS. CRACK IS CHEAP was overpowered by FERD THE TOWER in a 3 minute uneven fray. Of course, Mr. Cheap remains our Overall Popularity Leader, amazing the spectators with his flashy moves even when he loses. Our most popular warrior this turn is Plankwalker. He wasn't scummed, really. But a lot of spectators automatically vote for whoever loses a long fight. They should pull their heads out of the sand. UBER GOOBER (82-26198) (40-32-0,180) of NUTS fought PLANKWALKER (18-8604) (31-35-3,130) of SEA DOGS. UBER GOOBER luckily beat PLANKWALKER in an action packed 10 minute gruesome fight. 5 GOT PICKED (41-4199) (23-2-2,172) of 072905R fought MEN WORKING (38-4189) (37-112- 1,109) of JUST BECAUSE. 5 GOT PICKED overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute one-sided match. In spite of losing, Men Working is still our Top Basher. But he was also voted the audience's least favorite warrior this turn. HE HATE ME (18-7820) (59-52-2,303) of WASTELAND fought FEAR (82-10416) (49-69-1,192) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY. HE HATE ME handily defeated FEAR in an exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided contest. He Hate Me is our top Lunger. Bravo! That about wraps it up. I hope you all have a good two weeks, and I'll see you again at the end of 'em. Practice hard and fight dirty! Desiree KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CREDIT LINE 82-1366 41 41 0 320 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY HE HATE ME 18-7820 60 52 2 312 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA ONE A DAY 98-799 66 43 3 300 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL -HITZ 82-10428 44 17 0 297 4-LETTER DOCTORS (1204) DWES EG NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 72 36 1 277 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 98 37 1 269 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE PTI 7-5412 71 32 0 240 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR GOKU 7-5628 48 23 0 240 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR MAHI MAHI 18-4899 149 82 2 234 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA BRICKTOP 18-7955 52 46 0 230 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA HAILSTORM 7-5698 36 20 1 229 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR STRAFE 82-11158 55 24 0 226 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) DWES EG PUD 126 82-22024 52 28 0 220 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 80 81 1 217 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA 2 62-2976 51 50 3 215 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS DOC STEELE 18-6010 81 157 6 214 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA HEAT 98-981 41 39 4 214 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL SCHYLER 6-4866 86 132 1 213 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 53 46 0 213 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 50 50 0 210 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG GOHAN 18-8449 45 35 1 210 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 26 15 4 210 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE -GATEWAY 82-15631 36 16 0 208 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG COOLER 82-7277 69 60 1 207 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG BRADEN 6-4867 85 133 1 205 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL RED FUSION 6-5480 66 31 0 204 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL SUPER BUM 82-18411 64 39 1 204 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 111 93 2 201 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 24 26 3 201 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS COLON CONVOY 18-9115 29 10 0 199 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA -YUENGLING 82-16265 37 24 1 198 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG -THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 36 22 2 198 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 112 2 197 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 86 74 0 196 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA DOC STEELE 18-6808 73 107 1 190 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA VAGABOND 4-6049 23 17 1 190 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 50 42 0 187 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI HARV 82-20046 44 24 1 187 4-LETTER NAMES (1256) DWES EG FEAR 82-10416 49 70 1 186 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 41 39 3 182 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA UBER GOOBER 82-26198 41 32 0 182 NUTS (1240) DWES EG COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 31 22 0 182 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 46 3 181 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY ??RADAR?? 82-20310 26 32 0 180 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 22 33 3 180 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE MANUTE BOL 5-4233 39 36 0 174 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 24 2 2 174 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 31 30 0 172 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS MR TACO WORKS 18-7620 26 16 1 154 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY PLANKWALKER 18-8604 31 36 3 143 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 26 29 2 135 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA CALCULATOR 3-5513 36 45 0 131 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 113 1 121 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 22 4 1 95 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 19 2 1 91 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -FLAMING FLAMINGO 21-3570 19 12 0 69 DOC LEGRAND'S AVIANS (26) SUNSET -HART CRANE 21-6207 17 15 2 68 LITERATE LOONS (1288) SUNSET OLD MAID 3-5624 25 28 1 61 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI FOOL'S MATE 3-5516 23 30 0 61 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI DUNE 3-4195 17 52 0 58 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI STRATEGICS 3-5751 25 24 0 50 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 46 3 BEAN MACHINE 1202 HAILSTORM 7-5698 449 PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE The Impeccable Pig -- I have examined my stores of words and concepts and do not find an acceptable congruence of the concept "impeccable" with that of "pig." Therefore, you are what I believe is called an "illusion." Which is to say, not real. -- Calculator Psycho Grandma! -- You're nuts, you do know that, don't you? -- Dune A Drunken Fisherman? I do not understand the value of this. Why should this fisherman be important to the gladiatorial system? -- Strategics The Innkeeper's Son is a dear boy, I'm sure, but rather inclined to get "above himself," as they say. Really, the Innkeeper should give him an occasional smack, just to demonstrate that, though loved, he is not going to be allowed to get out of hand. -- Old Maid Black Widow -- Are you a fool? Because if not, you can't have anything to do with me. It's in the rules. -- Fool's Mate LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS STRAFE viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight. CREDIT LINE demolished DOC STEELE in a 2 minute one-sided Title melee. VAGABOND was overpowered by TASTY HANGNAIL in a 1 minute mismatched duel. ONE A DAY narrowly defeated BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 3 minute fight. NEOSPHINCTER bested BRADEN in a action packed 3 minute brawl. ETCHED IN STONE luckily beat COOLER in a exciting 3 minute bloody struggle. PTI handily defeated WORK IN PROGRESS in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight. STUPID SEXY FLANDERS was vanquished by DOC STEELE in a 1 minute uneven duel. GOKU defeated CLEANER WRASSE in a 2 minute gruesome duel. GOHAN was overpowered by MAHI MAHI in a action packed 3 minute gory one-sided fight. BRICKTOP narrowly defeated HARV in a exciting 6 minute bloody match. HE HATE ME handily defeated FEAR in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided contest. HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH overpowered THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute mismatched conflict. HAILSTORM assassinated FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute one-sided duel. DUSKY JAWFISH devastated ??RADAR?? in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel. COLON CONVOY viciously subdued KUNG PAO KITTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory brawl. COOKIE FOR THE SOUL was overpowered by SCHYLER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match. 2 overpowered LOCAL CONSTABLE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched conflict. RED FUSION luckily beat SHADOWMANE in a action packed 5 minute brutal fight. CRACK IS CHEAP was overpowered by FERD THE TOWER in a 3 minute uneven fray. PUD 126 overpowered BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 3 minute gruesome one-sided match. SUSHI SLINGER overpowered MR TACO WORKS in a popular 1 minute uneven fight. CHIPS AHOY was savagely defeated by FERD THE TOWER in a action packed 3 minute match. HEAT vanquished SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 3 minute brutal one-sided fray. MANUTE BOL handily defeated SMELL CAREFULLY in a 1 minute one-sided duel. UBER GOOBER luckily beat PLANKWALKER in a action packed 10 minute gruesome fight. 5 GOT PICKED overpowered MEN WORKING in a 1 minute one-sided match. BILLY THE SQUID savagely defeated CALCULATOR in a exciting 5 minute brutal fight. BLACK WIDOW overpowered STRATEGICS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. PSYCHO GRANDMA! vanquished DUNE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight. OLD MAID demolished DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. FOOL'S MATE was handily defeated by BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |AIMED BLOW 15 TOTAL PARRY 60 - 40 - 0 60 | |LUNGING ATTACK 12 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 4 - 1 60 | |TOTAL PARRY 10 LUNGING ATTACK 91 - 63 - 0 59 | |STRIKING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 88 - 69 - 1 56 | |WALL OF STEEL 4 SLASHING ATTACK 14 - 17 - 0 45 | |SLASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 12 - 0 40 | |BASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 14 - 22 - 0 39 | |PARRY-LUNGE 2 WALL OF STEEL 14 - 28 - 0 33 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 8 - 0 20 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 16 - 0 11 | Turn 449 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: AIMED BLOW 10 - 5 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 4 LUNGING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 3 AIMED BLOW TOTAL PARRY 6 - 4 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 3 3 TOTAL PARRY LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 5 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME AIMED BLOW CREDIT LINE 82-1366 41 41 0 320 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252) LUNGING ATTACK HE HATE ME 18-7820 60 52 2 312 WASTELAND (468) TOTAL PARRY ONE A DAY 98-799 66 43 3 300 MY DRUGS (1179) STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 149 82 2 234 BIG MEAN FISH (292) WALL OF STEEL STRAFE 82-11158 55 24 0 226 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) SLASHING ATTACK SCHYLER 6-4866 86 132 1 213 THE LADY'S LIST (917) PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 112 2 197 JUST BECAUSE (1151) PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 73 107 1 190 ARROGANCE (732) PARRY-STRIKE PLANKWALKER 18-8604 31 36 3 143 SEA DOGS (328) BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 113 1 121 JUST BECAUSE (1151) The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior this turn was PLANKWALKER 18-8604. The ten other most popular fighters were HARV 82-20046, BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880, COLON CONVOY 18-9115, HEAT 98-981, STRAFE 82-11158, MAHI MAHI 18-4899, COOLER 82-7277, PUD 126 82-22024, NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317, and GOHAN 18-8449. The least popular fighter this week was MEN WORKING 38-4189. The other ten least popular fighters were SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836, FOOL'S MATE 3-5516, DUNE 3-4195, STRATEGICS 3-5751, FRIJOLE! 99-1214, THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818, FEAR 82-10416, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, and VAGABOND 4-6049. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K OSKSI(3) 2 4 0 TALCAMA(18) 9 6 0 DWES EG(82) 4 6 0 JHELUM(4) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0 KALTOS(5) 1 1 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 0 2 0 TRANSEL(6) 2 2 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 2 0 0 BONSUR(7) 4 0 1 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 1 0 WILLAF(16) 1 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 1 0 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CALCULATOR 3-5513 36 45 0 131 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI VAGABOND 4-6049 23 17 1 190 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM MANUTE BOL 5-4233 39 36 0 174 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS SCHYLER 6-4866 86 132 1 213 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL PTI 7-5412 71 32 0 240 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 19 2 1 91 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF HE HATE ME 18-7820 60 52 2 312 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 112 2 197 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 24 2 2 174 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 50 42 0 187 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 98 37 1 269 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE 2 62-2976 51 50 3 215 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS CREDIT LINE 82-1366 41 41 0 320 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 24 26 3 201 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 26 15 4 210 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE ONE A DAY 98-799 66 43 3 300 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 46 3 181 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE