DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 03/31/2007 Duedate: 04/13/2007
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-450
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 BLACK PRIMER 82/1187 1253 447 8 73.7 I'M SO SEXY 42/1072
2 STREET PIZZA 18/114 1845 1448 20 56.0 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201
4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1252 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197
DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243
4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242
3 MISTRESS 4 XM 3/1284 43 34 0 55.8 5 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1157 1015 8 53.3
4 NUTS 82/1240 2514 2050 8 55.1 6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 911 843 7 51.9
LOOK OUT! 16/1278 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229
CEMENTIA 61/1112 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202
IT'S NEW! 6/1195 7 SEA DOGS 4/1271 124 188 5 39.7
PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 SEA DOGS 18/328
FLAT BROKE 82/1184 SEA DOGS 96/1241
MY DRUGS 98/1179 8 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 344 542 3 38.8
072905R 41/1273 9 ARROGANCE 18/732 974 1716 17 36.2
WASTELAND 18/468 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
WASTELAND II 7/500 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268 10-POWER LEGION 16/1287 1 8 0 11.1
NUMBERS 62/937
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Denizens of Darkholm!
Credit Line remains our Keeper of the Runeblade and, of course, our premier Aimed
Blow Practitioner. CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (41-41-0,320) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY
fought BRICKTOP (18-7955) (52-46-0,230) of WASTELAND. CREDIT LINE demolished
BRICKTOP in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided Title melee. Look at that record,
though... does Credit Line really deserve to be at the top of the heap? Should he
prove it by challenging Neosphincter? What do you think?
There was just one challenge fight this turn. STRAFE (82-11158) (55-24-0,226) of
BLACK PRIMERS challenged SUPER BUM (82-18411) (64-39-1,204) of FLAT BROKE. STRAFE
was viciously subdued by SUPER BUM in a 6 minute Challenge fight. Strafe, sorry you
lost. But thank you for challenging.
The warrior voted least popular this turn was Mr. Dutch Crunch. I guess people
thought he was going to hand out candy and he didn't. You've got to be careful about
getting people's hopes up, they can turn mean when you disappoint them. MR. DUTCH
CRUNCH (18-9257) (20-7-0,67) of WASTELAND fought DUNE (3-4195) (17-52-0,58) of GAMES
LIBRARY. MR. DUTCH CRUNCH was overpowered by DUNE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
Scum. Definitely scum, this turn. And yet, CiC is STILL the overall popularity
leader! BRADEN (6-4867) (85-133-1,205) of THE LADY'S LIST fought CRACK IS CHEAP (82-
18422) (50-50-0,210) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW. BRADEN was outlasted by CRACK IS CHEAP
in an exciting 9 minute gruesome melee. It was our longest fight, by the way. And
Braden was this turn's favorite, due to the "scum sympathy" vote. Go figure.
No one was killed. No one avoided anyone. Ho-hum.
Now I've hit all the high points I normally like to hit -- except the ones, of
course, that didn't happen this turn. And there is space to fill...
List of possible topics to talk about:
* Favorite recipes
* Sex
* Springtime
* Bloodshed
Springtime it is, then.
The cherry trees were in bloom around the Black Tower this morning as I whipped
up a panful of Blood and Guts (scrambled eggs with LOTS of tabasco). I was whistling
right along with the season's first robin (well, he was the first one I saw, but I
don't keep an eye out for them or anything), when who should I see down below,
slinking from the shadow of one cherry tree to the next, but my old boyfriend,
Japhor, the Bandit Prince (either him, or his Far Worse Twin, Dirk Cholera). If it
was Japhor, then he evidently had escaped from Sheila Greywand's prison and I knew
that I should properly report him to the authorities. If it was Cholera, naturally I
should drop the spatula and run for the hills.
So I set the pan off the fire, got my horsewhip out of the closet, and went
downstairs to see which one it was. Brave? No. Stupid? Maybe. But it's
springtime, when a young woman's fancy turns to thoughts of...
"What are you doing lurking in my cherries?" I said, lightly resting the whip on
my shoulder as I studied him, trying to figure out if he was the Evil Twin or the Far
Worse Twin.
"It's springtime," he said, stalking towards me. Looking dark and dangerous,
which was not a bad thing in itself, unless he turned out to be the FWT.
I did my quick-draw and cracked the whip an inch from his nose. "Hold on!
Which one are you?"
"I've just eluded wizards and constables and packs of bloodhounds to come here
and give you a kiss to celebrate the season," he said.
"What kind of a kiss?" I asked him suspiciously. Because the FWT puts strange
names on the things he does.
"A Plundering Kiss," Japhor said.
"Oh! Carry on, then." I coiled up the whip and hung it over my shoulder.
My Favorite Recipe: the Plundering Kiss
Starts with a sultry look, and a bit of a husky growl
One hand on back of head
One hand on waist (for support)
75% tongue (preferably to the tonsils)
25% hot breath on cheek
Ends with a backwards dip (which is when the supporting hands are so useful)
Heat for two minutes, minimum.
Repeat as needed.
That's all for now. Have a pleasant two weeks.
Desiree
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 42 41 0 336 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ONE A DAY 98-799 67 43 3 326 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
HE HATE ME 18-7820 61 52 2 326 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 73 36 1 299 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 99 37 1 275 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 150 82 2 265 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
PTI 7-5412 72 32 0 253 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
HAILSTORM 7-5698 37 20 1 245 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PUD 126 82-22024 53 28 0 236 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG
SCHYLER 6-4866 87 132 1 232 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
SUPER BUM 82-18411 65 39 1 228 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 81 81 1 226 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 54 46 0 220 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 51 50 0 218 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
GOHAN 18-8449 46 35 1 213 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 25 26 3 210 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
RED FUSION 6-5480 66 32 0 207 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
STRAFE 82-11158 55 25 0 205 BLACK PRIMERS (1187) DWES EG
COLON CONVOY 18-9115 30 10 0 205 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
VAGABOND 4-6049 24 17 1 205 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
DOC STEELE 18-6808 74 107 1 203 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
DOC STEELE 18-6010 81 158 6 200 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
HEAT 98-981 41 40 4 200 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 26 16 4 200 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 111 94 2 199 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
HARV 82-20046 45 24 1 199 4-LETTER NAMES (1256) DWES EG
BRADEN 6-4867 85 134 1 198 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
2 62-2976 51 51 3 198 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 40 36 0 197 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
GOKU 7-5628 48 24 0 196 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
COOLER 82-7277 69 61 1 194 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 32 22 0 192 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL
BRICKTOP 18-7955 52 47 0 190 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 113 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
UBER GOOBER 82-26198 41 33 0 184 NUTS (1240) DWES EG
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 23 33 3 182 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 86 75 0 181 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FEAR 82-10416 49 71 1 180 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG
??RADAR?? 82-20310 26 33 0 180 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 41 40 3 179 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 50 43 0 178 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 25 2 2 176 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 47 3 174 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 32 30 0 174 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
MR TACO WORKS 18-7620 27 16 1 162 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PLANKWALKER 18-8604 31 37 3 139 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
CALCULATOR 3-5513 36 46 0 138 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 26 30 2 135 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA
MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 114 1 132 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 23 4 1 97 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 20 2 1 94 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DUNE 3-4195 18 52 0 80 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
OLD MAID 3-5624 25 29 1 70 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
-HART CRANE 21-6207 17 15 2 68 LITERATE LOONS (1288) SUNSET
VISTA BLOWS 18-9258 17 9 0 66 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
FOOL'S MATE 3-5516 23 31 0 64 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257 20 8 0 52 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
STRATEGICS 3-5751 25 25 0 44 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Billy the Squid -- Tentacles! My calculations suggested that you were evil, and the
results of this fight proved it. -- Calculator
P.S. Not that I really understand the concept of "evil," but this is what I was
told. And I always remember what I'm told.
Tentacles are definitely evil. There are people who like them--people who like
them a great deal--but I am not one. BAD tentacles! -- Desiree
Black Widow -- I believe there is a strategic problem here somewhere. One that could
be alleviated if Nick would get off his rear and enter a new strategy for me. --
Strategics
Psycho Grandma! -- You're nuts. -- Dune
A Drunken Fisherman? I can see that he's been a Bad Boy. I couldn't let that slip
past. -- Old Maid
Dammit, I would have paid that bookie, I was MEANING to, but then he sent this
werecat to collect, and I'm ALLERGIC to cats! -- Fool's Mate
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
STRAFE was viciously subdued by SUPER BUM in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
CREDIT LINE demolished BRICKTOP in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided Title melee.
HEAT was devastated by SOLACIA in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
ONE A DAY viciously subdued SOLACIA in a action packed 3 minute gory brawl.
PUD 126 devastated BLIND BEGGAR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory mismatched match.
SCHYLER overcame GOKU in a 2 minute melee.
NEOSPHINCTER vanquished CLEANER WRASSE in a popular 2 minute gruesome uneven duel.
2 was viciously subdued by DUSKY JAWFISH in a popular 7 minute brutal fight.
PTI handily defeated DOC STEELE in a exciting 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
TASTY HANGNAIL devastated BILLY THE SQUID in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.
HAILSTORM demolished COOLER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ETCHED IN STONE handily defeated SHEWISH GIANT in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
MAHI MAHI vanquished RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody one-sided fray.
HE HATE ME devastated BLIND BEGGAR in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH was subdued by MANUTE BOL in a exciting 1 minute bout.
DOC STEELE overpowered STUPID SEXY FLANDERS in a 2 minute mismatched fight.
GOHAN slimly won victory over ??RADAR?? in a popular 4 minute gory contest.
COLON CONVOY vanquished LAUGHING BARMAID in a action packed 2 minute one-sided match.
WORK IN PROGRESS was handily defeated by VAGABOND in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL overpowered FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute uneven fight.
FEAR was overpowered by SUSHI SLINGER in a popular 2 minute gory uneven fight.
BRADEN was outlasted by CRACK IS CHEAP in a exciting 9 minute gruesome melee.
HARV viciously subdued UBER GOOBER in a action packed 5 minute brutal bout.
CHIPS AHOY was viciously subdued by BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 5 minute gory duel.
THE IMPECCABLE PIG overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
KUNG PAO KITTY defeated MEN WORKING in a 3 minute match.
5 GOT PICKED demolished CALCULATOR in a exciting 3 minute one-sided fight.
MR TACO WORKS overpowered PLANKWALKER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BLACK WIDOW subdued OLD MAID in a 1 minute contest.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! vanquished FOOL'S MATE in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
VISTA BLOWS demolished STRATEGICS in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH was overpowered by DUNE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 17 AIMED BLOW 98 - 61 - 1 62 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 12 TOTAL PARRY 60 - 40 - 0 60 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 LUNGING ATTACK 83 - 64 - 0 56 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 4 PARRY-STRIKE 5 - 5 - 1 50 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 SLASHING ATTACK 13 - 17 - 0 43 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 15 - 22 - 0 41 |
|BASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 12 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 WALL OF STEEL 13 - 28 - 0 32 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 8 - 0 20 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 18 - 0 10 |
Turn 450 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 14 - 3 LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 8 3 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 3 3 LUNGING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 2 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 5 - 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW CREDIT LINE 82-1366 42 41 0 336 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252)
TOTAL PARRY ONE A DAY 98-799 67 43 3 326 MY DRUGS (1179)
LUNGING ATTACK HE HATE ME 18-7820 61 52 2 326 WASTELAND (468)
STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 150 82 2 265 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
SLASHING ATTACK SCHYLER 6-4866 87 132 1 232 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
WALL OF STEEL STRAFE 82-11158 55 25 0 205 BLACK PRIMERS (1187)
PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 74 107 1 203 ARROGANCE (732)
PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 113 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE PLANKWALKER 18-8604 31 37 3 139 SEA DOGS (328)
BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 114 1 132 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior
this turn was BRADEN 6-4867. The ten other most popular fighters were HARV 82-20046,
2 62-2976, DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978, STRAFE 82-11158, SUPER BUM 82-18411, 5 GOT PICKED
41-4199, GOHAN 18-8449, CHIPS AHOY 97-1586, PUD 126 82-22024, and NEOSPHINCTER
18-7317.
The least popular fighter this week was MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257. The other ten
least popular fighters were STRATEGICS 3-5751, FOOL'S MATE 3-5516, PLANKWALKER
18-8604, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, OLD MAID 3-5624,
CALCULATOR 3-5513, FEAR 82-10416, FRIJOLE! 99-1214, and STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 2 4 0 TALCAMA(18) 9 8 0 DWES EG(82) 5 5 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0
KALTOS(5) 2 0 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0
TRANSEL(6) 2 2 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0
BONSUR(7) 3 1 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 1 0
WILLAF(16) 1 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CALCULATOR 3-5513 36 46 0 138 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
VAGABOND 4-6049 24 17 1 205 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 40 36 0 197 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
SCHYLER 6-4866 87 132 1 232 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
PTI 7-5412 72 32 0 253 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 20 2 1 94 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
HE HATE ME 18-7820 61 52 2 326 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 113 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 25 2 2 176 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 50 43 0 178 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 99 37 1 275 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
2 62-2976 51 51 3 198 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 42 41 0 336 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1252 DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 25 26 3 210 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 26 16 4 200 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
ONE A DAY 98-799 67 43 3 326 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 33 47 3 174 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE