DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 07/07/2007 Duedate: 07/20/2007
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-457
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TWISTED SESA 99/1289 1258 449 8 73.7 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201
2 MISTRESS 4 XM 3/1284 49 35 0 58.3 I'M SO SEXY 42/1072
3 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1864 1472 22 55.9 LOOK OUT! 16/1278
LOCAL BEER 82/1219 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268
STREET PIZZA 18/114 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242
REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228
DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243
4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197
ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 5 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1161 1018 8 53.3
4 NUTS 82/1240 2630 2128 8 55.3 6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 930 866 7 51.8
072905R 41/1273 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229
CEMENTIA 61/1112 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202
PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 7 SEA DOGS 4/1271 135 205 5 39.7
MY DRUGS 98/1179 SEA DOGS 18/328
FLAT BROKE 82/1184 SEA DOGS 96/1241
IT'S NEW! 6/1195 8 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 352 569 3 38.2
WASTELAND 18/468 9 ARROGANCE 18/732 991 1741 17 36.3
WASTELAND II 7/500 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
NUMBERS 62/937 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Oh dear...
There were no challenges, no avoids, no deaths...
ONE A DAY (98-799) (73-43-3,399) of MY DRUGS fought MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (154-84-
2,235) of BIG MEAN FISH. ONE A DAY was devastated by MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute
mismatched Title fight. I must say that I LIKE Mahi Mahi. Top Striker. I prefer
the less refined, more elemental fighting styles. Wall of Steel is the best... love
that endurance... but Strikers have such lovely muscles! So welcome to the top of
the heap, MM, and I hope to see a column from you next turn! Please do not
disappoint me.
How unfortunate that the fastidious Fool's Mate got matched up with Greasy
Napkins AGAIN! Fate can be cruel. At least Fool's Mate won the fight and gained 34
points for his team (not that it's going to help). GREASY NAPKINS (82-10156) (15-8-
0,93) of REAL PIZZA FLAVOR fought FOOL'S MATE (3-5516) (24-36-0,55) of GAMES LIBRARY.
GREASY NAPKINS was overpowered by FOOL'S MATE in an exciting 1 minute one-sided
fight. Well done!
HE HATE ME (18-7820) (66-53-2,217) of WASTELAND fought SHADOWMANE (104-28) (0-0-
0,200) of INTREPID AMATEURS! HE HATE ME handily defeated SHADOWMANE in a popular 1
minute uneven fight.
Our local amateur team had a 3-2 turn this cycle. Well done!
* MR TACO WORKS (18-7620) (28-21-1,182) of WASTELAND fought BLIND BEGGAR (104-
26) (40-35-0,200) of INTREPID AMATEURS! MR TACO WORKS was devastated by BLIND BEGGAR
in an exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
* GOHAN (18-8449) (47-40-1,194) of WASTELAND fought SOLACIA (104-24) (68-32-
0,225) of INTREPID AMATEURS! GOHAN was beaten by SOLACIA in an exciting 1 minute
match.
* CHIPS AHOY (97-1586) (27-21-4,184) of DEATH BY CHOCOLATE fought LAUGHING
BARMAID (104-9) (0-0-0,170) of INTREPID AMATEURS! CHIPS AHOY slimly won victory over
LAUGHING BARMAID in a popular 3 minute fray.
* OLD MAID (3-5624) (26-34-1,58) of GAMES LIBRARY once again (!) fought DEBBY
TONTE (104-2) (20-30-0,30) of INTREPID AMATEURS! OLD MAID was defeated by DEBBY
TONTE in an exciting 2 minute brutal struggle.
I don't know if any of you are aware that in the Talahya courts, all testimony
is dutifully transcribed by clerks. Some of it is rather amazing. I've recently
been shown a selection of excerpts that you may find informative.
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was Frostwind 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: By whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Swordsworth was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
I hope you have been amused, at least a little. And I DO hope you will all try
to use your power to challenge and to avoid next turn! It makes the games so much
more interesting!
Desiree
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 155 84 2 263 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PTI 7-5412 79 32 0 341 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 79 37 1 292 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 105 38 1 272 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
SCHYLER 6-4866 93 133 1 270 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 60 47 0 270 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
SUPER BUM 82-18411 70 41 1 244 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
COOLER 82-7277 73 64 1 242 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
PUD 126 82-22024 58 30 0 239 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG
GOKU 7-5628 54 25 0 229 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
HE HATE ME 18-7820 67 53 2 228 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
HAILSTORM 7-5698 42 22 1 228 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 37 25 2 218 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG
VAGABOND 4-6049 27 21 1 218 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 114 98 2 217 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
DOC STEELE 18-6010 86 160 6 216 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DOC STEELE 18-6808 78 110 1 210 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
ONE A DAY 98-799 73 44 3 209 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
YUENGLING 82-16265 40 25 1 208 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG
HEAT 98-981 46 42 4 207 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL
BRADEN 6-4867 87 139 1 202 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 36 51 3 202 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE
GOHAN 18-8449 47 41 1 201 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
??RADAR?? 82-20310 30 36 1 201 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 28 30 3 201 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
BRICKTOP 18-7955 56 50 0 199 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 37 32 0 197 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
GATEWAY 82-15631 36 20 0 195 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 26 37 3 195 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
2 62-2976 56 53 3 194 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
RED FUSION 6-5480 68 37 0 193 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
EVIL ELMO 99-1222 57 27 4 193 TWISTED SESAME (1289) SOUTH RIDGE
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 120 2 193 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 29 5 2 192 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
COLON CONVOY 18-9115 32 15 0 191 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 89 79 0 190 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
PLANKWALKER 18-8604 33 42 3 189 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 29 5 1 186 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 28 21 4 186 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 35 26 0 185 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 55 45 0 184 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 83 86 1 180 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
MR TACO WORKS 18-7620 28 22 1 180 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 52 56 0 179 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 44 44 3 179 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
FEAR 82-10416 53 74 2 178 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 42 41 0 175 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
UBER GOOBER 82-26198 42 39 0 174 NUTS (1240) DWES EG
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CALCULATOR 3-5513 38 51 0 148 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 26 3 1 144 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 121 1 139 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 26 37 2 124 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FOOL'S MATE 3-5516 25 36 0 89 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
VISTA BLOWS 18-9258 21 11 0 79 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257 25 9 0 78 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
-BULGAKOV 21-6244 21 12 1 76 LITERATE LOONS (1288) SUNSET
GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156 15 9 0 64 REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286) DWES EG
STRATEGICS 3-5751 27 30 0 61 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
DUNE 3-4195 19 58 0 61 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OLD MAID 3-5624 26 35 1 42 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Plankwalker -- Very good. It isn't everyone who can inch along a plank that slowly
and still maintain balance. Usually it takes a golem, but you managed it quite well.
-- Calculator
Greasy Napkins -- *I* am not the fool, and I won't be partnered with anyone who can
accept napkins like THAT. Euwh! -- Fool's Mate the Fastidious
Mr. Dutch Crunch -- Hmm, milk chocolate with almonds. Not bad, though dark chocolate
and pecans would be better. -- Strategics
P.S. You think it odd that a golem would appreciate chocolate? Not so, we are often
designed to appreciate ALL that is best, and chocolate is definitely in that group.
Strategics -- Have you been associating with Life? -- Desiree
Vista Blows -- And in time, is covered by a... Dune
Debby Tonte -- Oh, dear, I do believe Strategics was RIGHT about you. It simply
doesn't seem possible for you to be the REAL Debby Tonte. For one thing, though you
show a blonde head of hair, your roots are red. And, as noted last time, your tan is
pale and a little uneven. A good tan takes work, you know. -- Old Maid
Desiree -- Can you confirm the rumor that the Laughing Barmaid has run off with the
Innkeeper's Son? Or is this a vile slander of two upstanding young people? -- Old
Maid
Old Maid -- The Innkeeper's Son offered to put her up for the night, but the
Barmaid Laughed. -- Desiree
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
ONE A DAY was devastated by MAHI MAHI in a 2 minute mismatched Title fight.
PUD 126 handily defeated GATEWAY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
SUPER BUM slimly won victory over ??RADAR?? in a popular 3 minute contest.
COOLER overpowered 5 GOT PICKED in a 1 minute mismatched match.
2 was devastated by CLEANER WRASSE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
SCHYLER overpowered HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
BRADEN was overcome by GOKU in a action packed 1 minute melee.
ETCHED IN STONE slimly won victory over DOC STEELE in a popular 3 minute duel.
PTI vanquished FRIJOLE! in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
TASTY HANGNAIL overpowered EVIL ELMO in a 2 minute gory one-sided melee.
HAILSTORM demolished KUNG PAO KITTY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
COLON CONVOY was devastated by VAGABOND in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
NEOSPHINCTER devastated SUSHI SLINGER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HE HATE ME handily defeated SHADOWMANE in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
MR TACO WORKS was devastated by BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
BRICKTOP was viciously subdued by THE CUTICLE DANCE in a 4 minute brawl.
GOHAN was beaten by SOLACIA in a exciting 1 minute match.
DOC STEELE overpowered COOKIE FOR THE SOUL in a 1 minute one-sided match.
WORK IN PROGRESS was outwaited by RED FUSION in a popular 12 minute gruesome bout.
HEAT subdued DUSKY JAWFISH in a action packed 4 minute gruesome bout.
FEAR was handily defeated by THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
YUENGLING demolished MANUTE BOL in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
CRACK IS CHEAP was savagely defeated by BLACK WIDOW in a action packed 3 minute fight.
UBER GOOBER was savagely defeated by PLANKWALKER in a action packed 5 minute match.
CHIPS AHOY slimly won victory over LAUGHING BARMAID in a popular 3 minute fray.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS overpowered CALCULATOR in a exciting 2 minute uneven competition.
BILLY THE SQUID overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! beat MEN WORKING in a 1 minute match.
GREASY NAPKINS was overpowered by FOOL'S MATE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
VISTA BLOWS handily defeated STRATEGICS in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
OLD MAID was defeated by DEBBY TONTE in a exciting 2 minute brutal struggle.
DUNE was devastated by MR. DUTCH CRUNCH in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 16 AIMED BLOW 104 - 52 - 1 67 |
|AIMED BLOW 15 SLASHING ATTACK 17 - 13 - 0 57 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 LUNGING ATTACK 72 - 64 - 0 53 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 11 - 10 - 0 52 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 TOTAL PARRY 46 - 54 - 0 46 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 WALL OF STEEL 18 - 22 - 2 45 |
|BASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 17 - 23 - 0 43 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 7 - 0 30 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 BASHING ATTACK 4 - 26 - 0 13 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 9 - 0 10 |
Turn 457 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 4 - 6 4 LUNGING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 11 - 5 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 2 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 2 TOTAL PARRY
AIMED BLOW 9 - 6 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 3 2 SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 4 1 STRIKING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 155 84 2 263 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
LUNGING ATTACK PTI 7-5412 79 32 0 341 WASTELAND II (500)
AIMED BLOW NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 79 37 1 292 WASTELAND (468)
TOTAL PARRY ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 105 38 1 272 CEMENTIA (1112)
SLASHING ATTACK SCHYLER 6-4866 93 133 1 270 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 78 110 1 210 ARROGANCE (732)
WALL OF STEEL ??RADAR?? 82-20310 30 36 1 201 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 120 2 193 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE PLANKWALKER 18-8604 33 42 3 189 SEA DOGS (328)
BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 37 121 1 139 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior
this turn was PLANKWALKER 18-8604. The ten other most popular fighters were WORK IN
PROGRESS 38-4193, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639, DUSKY JAWFISH
18-6978, DOC STEELE 18-6808, HEAT 98-981, MAHI MAHI 18-4899, BLACK WIDOW 3-3662,
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112, and STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836.
The least popular fighter this week was DUNE 3-4195. The other ten least popular
fighters were GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, FEAR 82-10416, COLON
CONVOY 18-9115, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, STRATEGICS 3-5751, MEN WORKING 38-4189, MANUTE
BOL 5-4233, COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002, and SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 2 4 0 TALCAMA(18) 9 8 0 DWES EG(82) 5 6 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0
KALTOS(5) 1 1 0 KATI-TEI(41) 0 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0
TRANSEL(6) 2 2 0 RODEKI(42) 1 0 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0
BONSUR(7) 4 0 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 2 0
WILLAF(16) 1 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 29 5 1 186 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
VAGABOND 4-6049 27 21 1 218 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 37 32 0 197 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
SCHYLER 6-4866 93 133 1 270 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
PTI 7-5412 79 32 0 341 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 26 3 1 144 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 155 84 2 263 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 120 2 193 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 29 5 2 192 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 55 45 0 184 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 105 38 1 272 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
2 62-2976 56 53 3 194 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
SUPER BUM 82-18411 70 41 1 244 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 28 30 3 201 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 26 37 3 195 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
ONE A DAY 98-799 73 44 3 209 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 36 51 3 202 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE
SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ATLANTA!
Our next summer FTF will be held in Atlanta, Georgia, July 27-29, 2007. It will be
held at the Sheraton Buckhead Hotel in Atlanta, on 3405 Lenox Road NE (404-261-9250).
Room rates are $95.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy. There is a free shuttle from the
MARTA station two blocks away and free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge),
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool. The rooms are blocked--ask for the Reality
Simulations room block. Look for transportation info in the tournament information
sheet. We hope you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!