DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 07/21/2007 Duedate: 08/03/2007
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-458
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TWISTED SESA 99/1289 1258 450 8 73.7 I'M SO SEXY 42/1072
2 MISTRESS 4 XM 3/1284 50 35 1 58.8 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201
3 DON'T ASK 82/1205 1867 1476 22 55.8 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268
LOCAL BEER 82/1219 JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242
STREET PIZZA 18/114 HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243
REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228
DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197
4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236 5 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1161 1019 8 53.3
ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 6 BIG MEAN FISH 18/292 932 870 7 51.7
4 NUTS 82/1240 2651 2135 8 55.4 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY 97/1229
072905R 41/1273 BEAN MACHINE 99/1202
CEMENTIA 61/1112 7 KIDS GONE BAD 3/446 18 25 0 41.9
PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234 8 SEA DOGS 4/1271 137 208 5 39.7
MY DRUGS 98/1179 SEA DOGS 18/328
FLAT BROKE 82/1184 SEA DOGS 96/1241
IT'S NEW! 6/1195 9 GAMES LIBRARY 3/998 353 573 3 38.1
WASTELAND 18/468 10 ARROGANCE 18/732 994 1744 17 36.3
WASTELAND II 7/500 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
NUMBERS 62/937 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
LOOK OUT! 16/1278 11 LETHAL LEGIO 40/1290 1 8 0 11.1
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Children of the Night:
Well.... Mahi Mahi didn't challenge or avoid, so I suppose it was inevitable
that someone took the title away from him. MAHI MAHI (18-4899) (155-84-2,263) of BIG
MEAN FISH fought SCHYLER (6-4866) (93-133-1,270) of THE LADY'S LIST. MAHI MAHI was
bested by SCHYLER in a 2 minute Title fight. Schyler, the duty and privilege now
falls upon you, to write a column for the enlightenment of these lazy sods, I mean
these brave warriors!
In fact, no one challenged or avoided, this time. Soooo much apathy! Somebody
did die, though. That was interesting to see. WORK IN PROGRESS (38-4193) (38-120-
2,193) of JUST BECAUSE fought BLACK WIDOW (3-3662) (29-5-1,186) of MISTRESS 4 XMAS.
WORK IN PROGRESS was slaughtered by BLACK WIDOW in a 1 minute one-sided match. You
can see why. Mr. Progress is...judging by his record...not in a hurry to finish his
training. Losing most of his fights might keep him out of Primus for a few more
semesters, mightn't it? I hate to suggest that anyone from a good Delarquan city
like Cliffhome might be dogging it, but...it looked that way to me when he lowered
his weapon and just let the Widow slay him. Of course, you could look at that as a
display of amazing courage and dedication in the cause of non-induction. Well done,
Work!
Schyler, the ladies' man, is our top Slasher of course. PTI is our top lunger
(and I would like to know what those initials stand for?), and he's a rather
impressive fighter, so let's see how he did this turn.... PTI (7-5412) (79-32-0,341)
of WASTELAND II fought CLEANER WRASSE (18-6495) (114-98-2,217) of BIG MEAN FISH. PTI
slimly won victory over CLEANER WRASSE in an action packed 2 minute gruesome fight.
It was a good fight to watch, and a good win. Very well done, PTI. IS it initials,
really, or is it supposed to be pronounced? P'tee' or Putty or...I don't know. Do
tell!
I could be mistaken about the origin of this name, but I think I have
experienced the sort of manicure that could lead to naming a warrior "The Cuticle
Dance." Nasty! THE CUTICLE DANCE (82-13639) (37-25-2,218) of DON'T ASK fought
NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317) (79-37-1,292) of WASTELAND. THE CUTICLE DANCE was viciously
subdued by NEOSPHINCTER in a popular 4 minute fight. This is not at all surprising
because in addition to being quite a lot more experienced and with a better win
percentage, Neosphincter is a practitioner of that mysterious and highly favored
style, the Aimed Blow.
You'd think everyone would aim, but apparently they don't. Look at Uber Goober,
who won by sheer scummy persistence and scarcely bothered to make an aggressive move
at all. UBER GOOBER (82-26198) (42-39-0,174) of NUTS fought CALCULATOR (3-5513) (38-
51-0,148) of GAMES LIBRARY. UBER GOOBER outwaited CALCULATOR in an 8 minute fray.
Calculator tried to aim, but he waited until he was too tired to raise his weapon.
You do realize, don't you, that the Commission has mages who cast an "exhaustion
field" around the arena at the beginning of each fight? Otherwise trained warriors
would probably be able to hold their weapons up for eight minutes or even longer. So
it goes. The exhaustion field is supposed to simulate conditions inside a chaos
gate.
Time for my daily laugh. I like to go and watch the Debby Tonte stand-in
practice. She stands in front of a mirror, tosses her bleached blonde hair, and
flips her upper attributes while swinging her little sword. Sometimes she hurts
herself.
Fare well until the coming fortnight!
Desiree (not my real name)
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SCHYLER 6-4866 94 133 1 312 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PTI 7-5412 80 32 0 357 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 80 37 1 306 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 106 38 1 285 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463 61 47 0 281 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
SUPER BUM 82-18411 71 41 1 257 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
PUD 126 82-22024 59 30 0 247 PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234) DWES EG
HE HATE ME 18-7820 68 53 2 240 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
GOKU 7-5628 55 25 0 237 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
YUENGLING 82-16265 41 25 1 229 LOCAL BEER (1219) DWES EG
VAGABOND 4-6049 28 21 1 229 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
DECK SWAB 18-2148 39 40 2 225 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
GOHAN 18-8449 48 41 1 216 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
2 62-2976 57 53 3 215 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
BRADEN 6-4867 88 139 1 211 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
ONE A DAY 98-799 74 44 3 211 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 38 32 0 210 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639 37 26 2 209 DON'T ASK (1205) DWES EG
CLEANER WRASSE 18-6495 114 99 2 208 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
COLON CONVOY 18-9115 33 15 0 207 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
COOLER 82-7277 73 65 1 206 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
DOC STEELE 18-6010 86 161 6 203 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 56 45 0 203 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 30 5 2 202 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
FEAR 82-10416 54 74 2 201 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236) DWES EG
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 30 5 2 200 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH 18-6977 90 79 0 198 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 53 56 0 198 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
BRICKTOP 18-7955 56 51 0 197 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
ANTAGONIST 3-2824 23 22 2 197 KIDS GONE BAD (446) OSKSI
GATEWAY 82-15631 36 21 0 196 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
MAHI MAHI 18-4899 155 85 2 195 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HAILSTORM 7-5698 42 23 1 194 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 36 52 3 194 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002 36 26 0 193 HOLE IN THE WALL (1243) TRANSEL
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 29 21 4 192 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
RED FUSION 6-5480 68 38 0 191 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL
KUNG PAO KITTY 97-1310 26 38 3 191 CUTE & KINDA DEADLY (1229) SHADOW GROVE
DOC STEELE 18-6808 78 111 1 190 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
??RADAR?? 82-20310 30 37 1 190 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
EVIL ELMO 99-1222 57 28 4 189 TWISTED SESAME (1289) SOUTH RIDGE
DUSKY JAWFISH 18-6978 84 86 1 188 BIG MEAN FISH (292) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 121 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
PLANKWALKER 18-8604 33 43 3 185 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880 44 45 3 180 SEA DOGS (328) TALCAMA
HEAT 98-981 46 43 4 179 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL
UBER GOOBER 82-26198 43 39 0 176 NUTS (1240) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 28 31 3 176 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
MR TACO WORKS 18-7620 28 23 1 175 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
MANUTE BOL 5-4233 42 42 0 172 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CALCULATOR 3-5513 38 52 0 150 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 26 4 1 148 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
MEN WORKING 38-4189 38 121 1 146 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 26 38 2 118 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156 16 9 0 87 REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286) DWES EG
VISTA BLOWS 18-9258 22 11 0 84 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257 26 9 0 80 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
FOOL'S MATE 3-5516 25 37 0 68 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
STRATEGICS 3-5751 28 30 0 63 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
DUNE 3-4195 19 59 0 59 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
-SLICE 40-4182 13 6 1 46 LETHAL LEGION (1290) ZENSU
OLD MAID 3-5624 26 36 1 45 GAMES LIBRARY (998) OSKSI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 121 2 JUST BECAUSE 1151 BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 458
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Stupid Sexy Flanders -- As a golem, I cannot properly evaluate your name. As a
style-disadvantaged gladiator matched against you, I would be "pleased" not to meet
with you again. I do not calculate any advantageous odds with regard to that. --
Calculator
Calculator -- As a human, I can't properly evaluate Stupid Sexy Flaneders' name,
either. Some gladiator names are just...outside of all rational reckoning. --
Des
Greasy Napkins -- I suppose...it would be convenient if you had to wipe sand out of
the gears? -- Fool's Mate, speaking as one golem to another
Vista Blows -- (stunned look) SIX skills? Isn't that a LOT of skills to learn on
the Isle, all in one match? Ah...does this mean that I'm a superior teacher and can
expect to meet you and your teammates many times in the near future? -- Strategics
Debby Tonte -- Child, I feel that as an older woman, it is my place to advise you.
Wear more clothes. It makes no difference whether or not you are the "real" Debby
Tonte, you are incompletely clothed under your armor, and that must surely be
uncomfortable. -- Old Maid
Old Maid -- But with the suntan oil, the armor doesn't chafe at all. Just
kinda slides around, you know? -- Debby Tonte the Second, but quite serious
about it all
Mr. Dutch Crunch -- There'd better be chocolate with that. -- Dune
P.S. So I'm a golem, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate chocolate. In fact, it's
a primary fuel, it's like high octane.
Desiree -- Unavoidably, as it is my teammate. But Life of Osksi does not appreciate
chocolate, so the question is irrelevant. -- Strategics
Strategics -- I feel sorry for Life. Have a chocolate. -- Desiree
Desiree -- There is room for innuendo in that statement, but they tell me this is a
family newsletter, so I will allow people to make the inferences for themselves. --
Old Maid
Old Maid -- For once, I actually intended no innuendo. -- Desiree
9 July 2007
I have not been receiving my physical turns in a reliable manner lately. If there
are diplos with the turns that go missing, they're gone for good. So if you send me
a diplo and do not see an acknowledgement of receipt in the personals, know that I
have not gotten it (yet). If you have email, contact me at Livia AT reality DOT com.
If you don't have email, keep trying with the diplos. We are working on this
problem. -- the Scribe/Jorja/Leeta
P.S. If you email me, put "Re DM" on the subject line.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
MAHI MAHI was bested by SCHYLER in a 2 minute Title fight.
PUD 126 devastated SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 2 minute brutal one-sided duel.
SUPER BUM luckily beat COOLER in a crowd pleasing 4 minute duel.
THE CUTICLE DANCE was viciously subdued by NEOSPHINCTER in a popular 4 minute fight.
VAGABOND viciously subdued BRICKTOP in a action packed 5 minute gory brawl.
ETCHED IN STONE devastated BLIND BEGGAR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
HE HATE ME overpowered KUNG PAO KITTY in a action packed 2 minute uneven melee.
PTI slimly won victory over CLEANER WRASSE in a action packed 2 minute gruesome fight.
TASTY HANGNAIL overpowered FRIJOLE! in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
GOKU savagely defeated DOC STEELE in a exciting 2 minute brutal fight.
HAILSTORM was devastated by YUENGLING in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
DOC STEELE was demolished by THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HARLEQUIN TUSKFISH handily defeated MANUTE BOL in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
DECK SWAB savagely defeated RED FUSION in a action packed 4 minute gruesome struggle.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL beat PLANKWALKER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
GOHAN viciously subdued GATEWAY in a exciting 5 minute brutal fight.
BRADEN overpowered MR TACO WORKS in a popular 1 minute bloody one-sided bout.
COLON CONVOY devastated ??RADAR?? in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
WORK IN PROGRESS was slaughtered by BLACK WIDOW in a 1 minute one-sided match.
5 GOT PICKED handily defeated SHEWISH GIANT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven duel.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS overpowered SHADOWMANE in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
2 won victory over EVIL ELMO in a 2 minute match.
HEAT was overpowered by FEAR in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SUSHI SLINGER was overpowered by ANTAGONIST in a 1 minute uneven match.
CHIPS AHOY savagely defeated BILLY THE SQUID in a action packed 5 minute gory duel.
ONE A DAY viciously subdued SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody bout.
CRACK IS CHEAP slimly won victory over SHADOWMANE in a popular 7 minute gory bout.
UBER GOOBER outwaited CALCULATOR in a 8 minute fray.
DUSKY JAWFISH defeated PSYCHO GRANDMA! in a exciting 1 minute match.
MEN WORKING overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH overpowered OLD MAID in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
VISTA BLOWS devastated DUNE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GREASY NAPKINS devastated FOOL'S MATE in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
STRATEGICS bested COCKY SPECTATOR in a action packed 2 minute gory bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 17 AIMED BLOW 105 - 51 - 2 67 |
|AIMED BLOW 15 SLASHING ATTACK 18 - 12 - 0 60 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 LUNGING ATTACK 75 - 66 - 0 53 |
|BASHING ATTACK 4 TOTAL PARRY 49 - 51 - 0 49 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 10 - 11 - 0 48 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 WALL OF STEEL 19 - 21 - 2 48 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 15 - 25 - 0 38 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 8 - 0 20 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 25 - 0 19 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 10 - 0 0 |
Turn 458 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 12 - 3 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 6 LUNGING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 7 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 2 AIMED BLOW
LUNGING ATTACK 10 - 7 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 3 2 TOTAL PARRY
BASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1
PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
SLASHING ATTACK SCHYLER 6-4866 94 133 1 312 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
LUNGING ATTACK PTI 7-5412 80 32 0 357 WASTELAND II (500)
AIMED BLOW NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 80 37 1 306 WASTELAND (468)
TOTAL PARRY ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 106 38 1 285 CEMENTIA (1112)
BASHING ATTACK DECK SWAB 18-2148 39 40 2 225 SEA DOGS (328)
WALL OF STEEL FEAR 82-10416 54 74 2 201 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)
STRIKING ATTACK MAHI MAHI 18-4899 155 85 2 195 BIG MEAN FISH (292)
PARRY-LUNGE DOC STEELE 18-6808 78 111 1 190 ARROGANCE (732)
PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 121 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE PLANKWALKER 18-8604 33 43 3 185 SEA DOGS (328)
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior
this turn was VAGABOND 4-6049. The ten other most popular fighters were COOLER
82-7277, DECK SWAB 18-2148, BILLY THE SQUID 18-3880, GOHAN 18-8449, GATEWAY 82-15631,
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, HE HATE ME 18-7820, CHIPS AHOY
97-1586, and PTI 7-5412.
The least popular fighter this week was UBER GOOBER 82-26198. The other ten least
popular fighters were FOOL'S MATE 3-5516, DUNE 3-4195, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193,
HAILSTORM 7-5698, OLD MAID 3-5624, SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399, HEAT 98-981, ??RADAR??
82-20310, MR TACO WORKS 18-7620, and MANUTE BOL 5-4233.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 3 4 1 TALCAMA(18) 9 9 0 DWES EG(82) 7 4 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0
KALTOS(5) 1 1 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0
TRANSEL(6) 3 1 0 RODEKI(42) 1 0 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0
BONSUR(7) 3 1 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 2 0
WILLAF(16) 0 1 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BLACK WIDOW 3-3662 30 5 2 202 MISTRESS 4 XMAS (1284) OSKSI
VAGABOND 4-6049 28 21 1 229 SEA DOGS (1271) JHELUM
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818 38 32 0 210 JUST DON'T CARE (1242) KALTOS
SCHYLER 6-4866 94 133 1 312 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
PTI 7-5412 80 32 0 357 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120 26 4 1 148 LOOK OUT! (1278) WILLAF
NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317 80 37 1 306 WASTELAND (468) TALCAMA
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 38 121 2 185 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 30 5 2 200 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI
STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836 56 45 0 203 I'M SO SEXY (1072) RODEKI
ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 106 38 1 285 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE
2 62-2976 57 53 3 215 NUMBERS (937) VALAMANTIS
SUPER BUM 82-18411 71 41 1 257 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG
SUSHI SLINGER 96-1399 28 31 3 176 SEA DOGS (1241) OLD VALAMANTIS
CHIPS AHOY 97-1586 29 21 4 192 DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268) SHADOW GROVE
ONE A DAY 98-799 74 44 3 211 MY DRUGS (1179) SYVYN'S HILL
FRIJOLE! 99-1214 36 52 3 194 BEAN MACHINE (1202) SOUTH RIDGE