DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 02/02/2008    Duedate: 02/15/2008

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-472

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 VILLAINS 82/1300     1273  456  8 73.6      KILLER WORDS F3 98/1295               
    TWISTED SESAME 99/1289                    4 DON'T ASK 82/1205    1918 1526 22 55.7
    POWER PLAY 82/1301                          WHY WE LOVE TUM 82/1164               
  2-RAINDANCE 51/1106      69   33  2 67.6      REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
  3 NUMBERS 62/937       2902 2307 10 55.7      ELIMINATED SATURDAY 82/1267           
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            STREET PIZZA 18/114                   
    072905R 41/1273                             LOCAL BEER 82/1219                    
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                           HYBRIDS V 82/1255                     
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/1236              
    071406C 24/1292                             DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    PUDS AGAIN 6 82/1234                        ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                          5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1167 1027  8 53.2
    WASTELAND 18/468                          6 SEA DOGS 1/1298       191  252  6 43.1
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          DUNGEON CELL ZC3 13/1297              
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                            SEA DOGS 21/1307                      
    DM OWNS YOU 82/1303                         SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1299               
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1308               
    DEATH BY CHOCOLATE 97/1268                7 BEACH BABES 7/1058    369  627  4 37.0
    HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243                   8 DEATH MOB 62/329       25   43  1 36.8
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                       9 ARROGANCE 18/732     1022 1794 17 36.3
    JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                      THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                10-LEGION OF LE 62/1305    1    8  0 11.1

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 589): BALLAST of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 471): EDWARD O'HARE of MEDAL OF HONOR A1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 597): SPAGHETTI of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 593): FOOS BALL of F BALLS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 592): MOON CHILD of TEAM CHAOS ELITE (?, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 596): CUEBALL of HIGH ROLLERS (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 593): OBROJOBO of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 588): NESTOR ORDH of THE MOONDOG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 579): DINAH MIGHT of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 578): DJININSKI of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 552): PUSS N BOOTS of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 542): CONNIE PAKKIT of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 242): NAKOR of DOG SOLDIERS II (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 529): MASUMI of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 478): ENDLESS WATCH of RAISING RYLYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 229): WERE BEAR of FERAL LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 217): DERELICT of ALL-STAR NANA'S (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 427): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 194): KATSUMOTO of SACRED REALM (Brewmaster, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 471): NEOSPHINCTER of WASTELAND (TMM, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 588): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 471): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 597): OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 593): JHELUM JUVENILES (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 592): PAPER MARIO (Luigi, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 596): HI ROLLERS (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 593): BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 588): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 579): WIZARDGUARD (?, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 578): NOMADIC TRIBE (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 552): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 542): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 242): CHEAP SHOTS (Cheap Shots Manager, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 529): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 478): RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 229): FERAL LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 217): ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 427): DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 194): ANTIQUATED LEGACY (Brewmaster, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 471) POWER PLAY et al (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 471): KORONEDUS of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 596): DRUNK DENNIS of FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 592): MOON CHILD of TEAM CHAOS ELITE (?, mgr.)
               (turn 591): JERI LOUGH of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 578): OAKLAND FU of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 578): DJININSKI of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 241): SMIRK of CHEAP SHOTS (Cheap Shots Manager, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 228): GLUM of JANIX (Kat, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of Darkholm...hello.

     No one died, no one avoided, no one challenged.  *yawn*  So little to say, so
much space to fill!
     NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317) (92-38-1,282) of WASTELAND fought COOLER (82-7277) (79-
72-1,322) of STYROFOAM.  NEOSPHINCTER devastated COOLER in a 1 minute mismatched
Title fight.  So Neo hangs onto the Runeblade for another fortnight, along with the
honor of Top Aimed Blow.
     GATEWAY (82-15631) (43-27-0,210) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES fought CRACK IS CHEAP
(82-18422) (55-67-0,207) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW.  GATEWAY was luckily beaten by CRACK
IS CHEAP in an exciting 8 minute bloody fray.  And of course, Mr. Cheap remains our
Overall Popularity Leader, a position which he will no doubt continue to hold until
he's inducted to Primus.  And Gateway was voted this turn's most popular.  This was
our second longest fight, only eight minutes, a happy thing for those members of the
audience with short attention spans.
     Our longest fight: BRICKTOP (18-7955) (62-58-0,180) of WASTELAND fought
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724) (28-22-0,102) of SEA DOGS.  BRICKTOP viciously subdued
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in an unpopular 22 minute gruesome match.  Bricktop was voted this
turn's most resented warrior.  For some reason the audience held it against her that
Makeshift Anchor was grotesquely overmatched by her.  Tsk tsk.  Not her fault.  And
oddly, neither of these competitors is our top Total Parry.
     Top Total Parry:  Super Bum!  SUPER BUM (82-18411) (82-43-2,285) of FLAT BROKE
fought ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (34-46-1,205) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II.  SUPER BUM narrowly
defeated ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match.
     And now, let us enjoy a few comments by Zontani Sharp Eyes:
     1) Would you believe that over half of the old women in DARKHOLM seem to feel
that they could fight better than you gladiators?
     2) What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of
his foe's mortality?  (Well?  Do YOU hone your years?  Would you mind explaining how
that's done?)
     3) If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times
already in DARKHOLM.  (I think that was probably some of the old women in Darkholm,
who thought they could fight better than Zontani.)
     I find the record of Work in Progress, our top Parry-Riposte, to be an
interesting...work in progress.  WORK IN PROGRESS (38-4193) (39-133-2,195) of JUST
BECAUSE fought HORTATOR (1-7791) (24-17-3,156) of SEA DOGS.  WORK IN PROGRESS
overcame HORTATOR in a 1 minute duel.  If you keep winning, Mr. Progress, you're
going to mess up the whole thing.  You already have a gap of less than 100 fights
between your wins and losses.  Better change your strategy!
     DOC STEELE (18-6808) (81-121-1,190) of ARROGANCE fought MR. DUTCH CRUNCH (18-
9257) (36-12-0,167) of WASTELAND.  DOC STEELE was overcome by MR. DUTCH CRUNCH in a
popular 1 minute conflict.  The two Doc Steeles are, of course, twin brothers.  This
one, Dr. Clyde Steele, doesn't seem to be doing well, although he is our top Parry-
Lunger.
     DOC STEELE (18-6010) (91-169-6,196) of ARROGANCE fought COOKIE FOR THE SOUL (6-
6002) (42-33-0,186) of HOLE IN THE WALL.  DOC STEELE slimly lost to COOKIE FOR THE
SOUL in a 2 minute competition.  And this one, Dr. Elmer Steele, seems to be doing
even worse (though it's a good thing he's made it to the Isle so anyone he kills will
be back tomorrow).
     I have to get up and shovel snow tomorrow (yes, even spyreporters have to shovel
snow).  And then in the afternoon, Debby Tonte is going to start painting her fixer-
upper and I plan to go over and jeer at her.  So, see you in two weeks.

                         Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        93  38  1  296  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          83  43  2  293  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            54  25  1  270  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          79  56  2  263  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 THE CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639  47  30  2  244  DON'T ASK (1205)           DWES EG
 FEAR 82-10416               63  79  2  238  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)    DWES EG
 PTI 7-5412                  91  35  0  233  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        38  11  2  232  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 ODDJOB 82-18436             27  25  1  227  VILLAINS (1300)            DWES EG
 GOKU 7-5628                 64  30  0  226  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 SCHYLER 6-4866             104 137  1  224  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     56  67  0  223  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
-RAW SEX APPEAL 82-1331      26  11  0  218  WHY WE LOVE TUM (1164)     DWES EG
 GOHAN 18-8449               58  45  1  217  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 YUENGLING 82-16265          47  33  1  215  LOCAL BEER (1219)          DWES EG
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       73  49  0  212  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  65  50  0  212  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           67  32  4  210  TWISTED SESAME (1289)      SOUTH RIDGE
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          34  47  1  208  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 COLON CONVOY 18-9115        39  23  0  206  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-SMELLY TOES 82-17409        30  15  0  205  HYBRIDS V (1255)           DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277              79  73  1  204  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HEAT 98-981                 54  49  4  203  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 ONE A DAY 98-799            83  49  3  201  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GATEWAY 82-15631            43  28  0  198  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 TWIG 82-25226               54  37  0  197  POWER PLAY (1301)          DWES EG
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  43  33  0  197  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    40 133  2  197  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     32  12  1  197  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 2 62-2976                   66  58  4  196  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   42  42  0  196  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
-CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306    36  16  1  196  RAINDANCE (1106)           TRICORUS
 PLANKWALKER 18-8604         39  51  3  195  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    114  44  1  192  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 PUD 126 82-22024            67  36  0  191  PUDS AGAIN 6 (1234)        DWES EG
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          91 170  6  190  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           71  49  0  190  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 VISTA BLOWS 18-9258         34  13  0  190  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
-MASSAGE PARLOR 82-3972      20   9  2  189  ELIMINATED SATURDAY (1267) DWES EG
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           49  49  0  187  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257    37  12  0  185  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 PUTRID KOALA 62-96          34  25  2  184  DEATH MOB (329)            VALAMANTIS
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            63  58  0  182  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DOC STEELE 18-6808          81 122  1  179  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          35  29  4  178  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     31  47  2  175  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 MASOCHISTIC NEWT 62-1081    30  28  3  172  DEATH MOB (329)            VALAMANTIS
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     24  15  0  167  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 HORTATOR 1-7791             24  18  3  161  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         41 132  1  144  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 A. MONK, P.I. 24-4732       27   8  0  142  071406C (1292)             ZORPUNT
 FRANKENBERRY 82--13733      15   5  0  137  DM OWNS YOU (1303)         DWES EG
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          27  33  0  133  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           23  39  0  120  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     28  23  0  115  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-INDENTURED OARSMAN 18-9167  14   5  1   92  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 HATCH BATTENER 1-8014       21  13  1   91  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER ZC01 13-4876       21   6  1   80  DUNGEON CELL ZC3 (1297)    DULLENS
 PARROT KEEPER 21-6157       17   6  2   79  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 TEPID FELONY 98-1081        14  10  4   71  KILLER WORDS F3 (1295)     SYVYN'S HILL
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      16  61  0   68  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 THAT GUY 97-2120            13  11  3   66  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            20  43  3   62  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          23  33  0   59  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     14  39  0   56  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1308)     DWES EG
-BERCHTA 18-6774             15   7  2   54  THE DARK GODS (1306)       TALCAMA
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     17  48  0   51  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1299)     DWES EG

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Desiree -- Yeahyeahyeah, hold on, I know we did personals.  They're around here
somewhere.  We just didn't, you know, send them in.  We'll find 'em, honest. -- Aloha
Alice

     Thank you, Alice.

Chips Ahoy -- If they'd let me bring a glass of milk into the arena, it would all
have been different.  I am well aware how you crumble readily when confronted with
milk! -- Aloha Alice

Hortator -- Oh, it's you.  I was rather hoping for some chocolate myself, but instead
(sigh), I get a drum beating in my head.  I probably shouldn't have had watered wine
last night.  Everyone knows that mixing drinks can be tricky.  Wine by itself would
have been safer. -- Laguna Lil

Makeshift Anchor -- Huh, you knew all along that I wouldn't be able to shift that
anchor, didn't you? -- Tallahasse Tina

Frankberry -- Not NOW, the chiles are late! -- Miami Mia

Parrot Keeper -- I should have known better than to let Lil mix my drinks.  We ALL
should have known better.  Oh-fer, how depressing.  (heavy sigh)  Good fight. --
Beach Betty

Desiree -- Yes, but it isn't ANIMAL grease, so it's better. -- Aloha Alice

     Animal grease?

Drunken Fisherman -- I don't think your wife would like that. -- Beach Betty

     She doesn't like anything.  But she doesn't need to know. -- The Fisherman

15 January 2008
                                 Order of Lost Souls

     Where there is a beginning, there is an end.  Where there is a whole, there is a
part.  Where there is light, there is dark.  All these are found to be true and along
with the most important, when something is lost it can always be found.
     Many a person has walked this land in one form or another.  Some truly believe
that here is there and there is here but who really knows?  Among the peoples of this
great land many have felt lost in time and in place.  Some have gone as far as to be
lost of soul....
     Although most are thought to have been born into this world in a mortal way, no
one can be sure.  Life is something they have in a way but a torturous joke to them
in all others.  They live in a sense as they are here and now and having mind and
knowledge.  They are flesh and blood of one sort of another.  They cast a shadow as
all things living do.  Blood courses through their veins.
     These beings have become wraiths drifting here and there, knowing that they
truly belong nowhere.  Searching for that one thing that they seem to be missing or
the one thing in them that puts them beyond others.  These people have become masters
of many things as time seems to have no hold.  For not even time can find those that
are truly lost.  Many of these beings have drifted toward the gladiatorial games.  In
the blood and chaos of the arenas something holds them like no other.  It's the loss
of something they have never had or something they had so long ago it seems to have
never been.  LIFE.
     A few of the more shall we say "human" of these beings have settled into many
arenas around the land.  The loss of life and the crazed emotions of the arenas
giving them glimpses of things they longed for but seemed incapable of attaining.
     A number of these lost ones saw in each other something that might be able to
help the other.  They spent many a day traveling to and fro, for what is time to one
who it doesn't touch.  The more time they spent together the more they seemed to
change.  No one noticed the change in the others but each recognized it in himself.
Years passed and the changes stopped.  Each had been changed in different ways but
all felt more whole.  A discussion ensued between them.  They came to a realization
that in each other they had found parts of themselves that had been missing.  Then
came the next thought.  If they could find more of like minded lost ones they might
eventually find what they always wanted, their true selves.
     The group settled down to think things through.  They finally came up with an
idea they all could accept.  They would form an organization that through their
arenas through out the land they would seek out other lost ones.  If they were of
like mind they would be invited to join the group and seek that special something
they all desired.
     This was how it began and how it still is.  The Order of Lost Souls was formed
and the search began.  The original members numbered six.  They were Baphomet,
Blackstorm, Hammer, JGW, Reaper and Wretch.  These members of the Order spread their
gladiator stables through out the realm seeking others like them.  Through blood and
death they lived through others.  One day hoping to live for themselves.  For as they
all know what is lost must eventually be found....

28 January 2008
CALLING ALL THUGS, BRUTES, OGRES, QUARTER HALF WITS, SHALLOW HALBERD ENTHUSIASTS AND
MAUL RATS:  Since the Bashing style has often been maligned in the forums, it is time
to give the style a little tough love with the following concept:  An ALL-BASHER
arena.  The rules are simple--enter the arena as a rookie basher.  That's it.  RSI
said I need to get 20 managers on board and I'm about half way there.  If you are
interested in taking part, PM me in the forums or email me:  chase at accesspr.com
and put D2 in the subject header.

Chase a.k.a. SwineTiger

2 February 2008
ATTENTION EVERYONE -- In March I am going to do manager lists for all arenas.  This
is part of my ongoing and undoubtedly largely futile attempt to get my lists
organized.  If you think I might not know who you are or if you think I might and
you'd rather I not share that information, let me know this month!  You can e-mail
me at Sue at solberg dash mathews dot com (replacing the at, dash and dot with
appropriate characters.  You can send a diplo to The Saint.  You can put an ad in
the newsletter.  Semaphore doesn't work so well, nor does telepathy. -- The Saint,
keeper of lists

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NEOSPHINCTER devastated COOLER in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
TWIG was vanquished by HE HATE ME in a exciting 3 minute gory uneven battle.
PUD 126 was vanquished by ODDJOB in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SUPER BUM narrowly defeated ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match.
THE CUTICLE DANCE vanquished RED FUSION in a exciting 3 minute mismatched fight.
FEAR slimly won victory over 2 in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
5 GOT PICKED viciously subdued LOCAL CONSTABLE in a action packed 3 minute duel.
PTI overpowered LOCAL CONSTABLE in a popular 3 minute gory uneven duel.
GOKU overpowered BLIND BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
HAILSTORM overpowered LOCAL CONSTABLE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
ONE A DAY was devastated by DIRK CHOLERA in a 4 minute one-sided battle.
DOC STEELE was overcome by MR. DUTCH CRUNCH in a popular 1 minute conflict.
GOHAN viciously subdued PLANKWALKER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome bout.
SMELL CAREFULLY was handily defeated by THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a 1 minute bout.
COLON CONVOY devastated LAUGHING BARMAID in a exciting 2 minute one-sided brawl.
HEAT was savagely defeated by EVIL ELMO in a exciting 2 minute gory bout.
DOC STEELE slimly lost to COOKIE FOR THE SOUL in a 2 minute competition.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! was bested by DIRK CHOLERA in a 2 minute bout.
TASTY HANGNAIL overpowered LOCAL CONSTABLE in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
WORK IN PROGRESS overcame HORTATOR in a 1 minute duel.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS handily defeated BLIND BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
ETCHED IN STONE was overpowered by BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 2 minute uneven fight.
PUTRID KOALA was vanquished by SCHYLER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
MASOCHISTIC NEWT was vanquished by VISTA BLOWS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
GATEWAY was luckily beaten by CRACK IS CHEAP in a exciting 8 minute bloody fray.
YUENGLING vanquished MANUTE BOL in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
GREASY NAPKINS vanquished ALOHA ALICE in a 2 minute brutal one-sided fray.
CHIPS AHOY savagely defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 4 minute gory fight.
A. MONK, P.I. was overpowered by DESIREE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BRICKTOP viciously subdued MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a unpopular 22 minute gruesome match.
LAGUNA LIL was overpowered by MEN WORKING in a exciting 1 minute one-sided struggle.
FRANKENBERRY devastated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute uneven bout.
THAT GUY defeated BEACH BETTY in a exciting 3 minute match.
TEPID FELONY handily defeated PRISONER 0103 in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
PRISONER 0118 was beaten by TALLAHASSE TINA in a popular 1 minute duel.
PARROT KEEPER overcame COCKY SPECTATOR in a 2 minute match.
PRISONER ZC01 handily defeated INKEEPER'S SON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MIAMI MIA was overpowered by HATCH BATTENER in a 1 minute uneven battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                      20         SLASHING ATTACK   19 -   9 -  0      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         AIMED BLOW       110 -  70 -  0      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         LUNGING ATTACK    83 -  53 -  0      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  19 -  0      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   13 -  14 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       45 -  61 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  27 -  1      31  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  12 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  14 -  0      18  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  15 -  0      12  |

Turn 472 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  6         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW        13 -  7     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  5     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317       93  38  1  296 WASTELAND (468)
TOTAL PARRY      SUPER BUM 82-18411         83  43  2  293 FLAT BROKE (1184)
LUNGING ATTACK   HE HATE ME 18-7820         79  56  2  263 WASTELAND (468)
WALL OF STEEL    FEAR 82-10416              63  79  2  238 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1236)
SLASHING ATTACK  ODDJOB 82-18436            27  25  1  227 VILLAINS (1300)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   40 133  2  197 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     PLANKWALKER 18-8604        39  51  3  195 SEA DOGS (328)
PARRY-LUNGE      DOC STEELE 18-6808         81 122  1  179 ARROGANCE (732)
STRIKING ATTACK  MASOCHISTIC NEWT 62-1081   30  28  3  172 DEATH MOB (329)
BASHING ATTACK   HORTATOR 1-7791            24  18  3  161 SEA DOGS (1298)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was GATEWAY 82-15631.  The ten other most popular fighters were ??RADAR?? 
82-20310, PTI 7-5412, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, HE HATE ME 18-7820, GOHAN 18-8449, THE 
CUTICLE DANCE 82-13639, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, SUPER BUM 82-18411, ONE A DAY 
98-799, and EVIL ELMO 99-1222.

The least popular fighter this week was BRICKTOP 18-7955.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724, MIAMI MIA 7-4818, A. MONK, P.I. 
24-4732, PRISONER 0103 82--31803, LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, MANUTE BOL 
5-4233, MASOCHISTIC NEWT 62-1081, PUTRID KOALA 62-96, and HORTATOR 1-7791.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  2 0  TALCAMA(18)          7  4 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       0  3 0  
TRANSEL(6)           2  1 0  ZORPUNT(24)          0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          8  7 0  
BONSUR(7)            5  4 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        2  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
DULLENS(13)          1  0 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  2 0  
WILLAF(16)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HORTATOR 1-7791             24  18  3  161  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   42  42  0  196  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 SCHYLER 6-4866             104 137  1  224  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            54  25  1  270  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PRISONER ZC01 13-4876       21   6  1   80  DUNGEON CELL ZC3 (1297)    DULLENS
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     32  12  1  197  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317        93  38  1  296  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 PARROT KEEPER 21-6157       17   6  2   79  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 A. MONK, P.I. 24-4732       27   8  0  142  071406C (1292)             ZORPUNT
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    40 133  2  197  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        38  11  2  232  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  65  50  0  212  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    114  44  1  192  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   66  58  4  196  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          83  43  2  293  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 CHIPS AHOY 97-1586          35  29  4  178  DEATH BY CHOCOLATE (1268)  SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 54  49  4  203  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           67  32  4  210  TWISTED SESAME (1289)      SOUTH RIDGE