DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 08/30/2008    Duedate: 09/12/2008

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-487

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 POWER PLAY 82/1301   1295  469  8 73.4      JUST DON'T CARE 5/1242                
    TWISTED SESAME 99/1289                      NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
  2 RAINDANCE 51/1106      73   36  2 67.0    4 STREET PIZZA 18/114  1939 1568 22 55.3
  3 NUMBERS 62/937       3186 2467 11 56.4      REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    13 YRS & COUNTING 82/1310                   ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    071406C 24/1292                           5 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1174 1035  8 53.1
    072905R 41/1273                           6 SEA DOGS 1/1298       283  346  7 45.0
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            SEA DOGS 21/1307                      
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          SEA DOGS 36/1309                      
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                           DUNGEON CELL ZC3 13/1297              
    WASTELAND 18/468                            DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1308               
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          SEA DOGS 18/328                       
    DM OWNS YOU 82/1303                         DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1299               
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                            SEA DOGS 2/1312                       
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                      7 DEATH MOB 62/329       41   61  1 40.2
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                       8 KIDS GONE BAD 3/446    19   29  0 39.6
    KILLER WORDS F3 98/1295                   9 ARROGANCE 18/732     1038 1835 17 36.1
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                   JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
    HOLE IN THE WALL 6/1243                  10 BEACH BABES 7/1058    385  686  4 35.9
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                   

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 604): WAIF of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 485): SCURVY LAD of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 612): SOLDIER 2 of OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 608): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 607): GERDIG IBBINS of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 611): OL SMOKEY of THE VOLS (Wali Kharif, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 607): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 603): OZZY of SABBATH (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 593): BLUE MOON of RUN AND HYDE (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 592): DANTE FURIOSO of NOMADIC TRIBE (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 566): SALLI VOSS of MIDDLE WAY 13 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 556): CYPRIAN of OLD SCHOOL (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 249): DUCK A L'ORANGE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 542): CHEESY SQUEEZER of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 491): BILGE RAT of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 237): BLACKHAWKZ of RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 225): KONA QUAIL of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 442): FREON NECROPHILIA of DEE CEE (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 200): HAMMY HAMSTER of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 486): NEOSPHINCTER of WASTELAND (TMM, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 604): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 485): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 612): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 608): DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 607): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 610): THE VOLS (Wali Kharif, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 607): BONSUR BABES ROCK (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 603): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 593): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 592): NOMADIC TRIBE (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 566): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 556): OLD SCHOOL (Abraxis, mgr,(
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 249): WACKY (The Zoo Keeper, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 542): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 491): DARK HORSEMENT (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 237): RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 225): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 442): GRIM OBITUARY (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 200): RAPTOR (Owlin the Wise, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 486) POWER PLAY et al (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 485): SCURVY LAD of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 612): SOLDIER 2 of OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                          GRUNT of OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 607): LEONIDAS of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 611): OL SMOKEY of THE VOLS (Wali Kharif, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 593): MARV JR of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 566): RIREMA of KARNIVORZ (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 249): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 542): CHEESY SQUEEZER of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
               (turn 541): CHRISTELLINA of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 489): BLADERUNNER of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 236): MOUSETRAP of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 441): JAGGED SHIV of GRIM OBITUARY (Jekyll, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Warriors of the Federation!

     Congratulations to Evil Elmo, our Tournament Victor, who used his challenge, and
won his fight.  Yes, Doc was ranked two points below him, but he had more wins and
more fights than Evil Elmo.  And it was certainly a good fight!  EVIL ELMO (99-1222)
(75-38-4,204) of TWISTED SESAME TV challenged DOC STEELE (18-6010) (98-177-6,202) of
ARROGANCE.  EVIL ELMO bested DOC STEELE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome
Challenge fight.  Evil is, of course, our premier Wall of Steel, and a very fine
specimen he is.  *smiling*
     There were fourteen challenge fights in Darkholm today.  Well done!  It's good
to see some signs of life in this arena.  And I'm going to feature all of the
challenge fights in the spyreport today!
     TWIG (82-25226) (63-42-0,208) of POWER PLAY challenged ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (39-
56-1,213) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II.  TWIG narrowly defeated ??RADAR?? in an exciting 3
minute gory Challenge melee.  Well done!
     HATCH BATTENER (1-8014) (28-20-1,194) of SEA DOGS challenged MASOCHISTIC NEWT
(62-1081) (35-37-3,197) of DEATH MOB.  HATCH BATTENER was vanquished by MASOCHISTIC
NEWT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.  Masochistic Newt is our Top Striker!  Well done,
sir.
     PRISONER ZC01 (13-4876) (30-11-1,197) of DUNGEON CELL ZC3 challenged THE
IMPECCABLE PIG (5-3818) (48-50-0,196) of JUST DON'T CARE.  PRISONER ZC01 defeated THE
IMPECCABLE PIG in an exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.  Hmm.  Was anyone surprised?
     BALLAST (1-7727) (28-35-0,180) of SEA DOGS challenged GREASY NAPKINS (82-10156)
(28-25-0,171) of REAL PIZZA FLAVOR.  BALLAST was devastated by GREASY NAPKINS in a
popular 3 minute uneven Challenge brawl.  Bit of an upset there.
     HORTATOR (1-7791) (28-28-3,173) of SEA DOGS challenged BRICKTOP (18-7955) (67-
68-0,166) of WASTELAND.  HORTATOR savagely defeated BRICKTOP in a crowd pleasing 3
minute gory Challenge brawl.  NOT an upset.  *sigh*
     MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724) (32-33-0,170) of SEA DOGS challenged SMELL CAREFULLY
(18-8889) (34-58-2,157) of STREET PIZZA.  MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was viciously subdued by
SMELL CAREFULLY in a 3 minute melee.  Whoops!
     MAST MONKEY (21-6158) (17-9-2,131) of SEA DOGS challenged MEN WORKING (38-4189)
(43-144-1,119) of JUST BECAUSE.  MAST MONKEY vanquished MEN WORKING in an action
packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.  Well.  Hot-shot young guy down-challenges a
weary old has-been.
     PRISONER 0118 (82-33748) (20-47-0,144) of DUNGEON CELL 24 challenged THAT GUY
(97-2120) (23-15-3,142) of DIE, MOFO, DIE IV.  PRISONER 0118 savagely defeated THAT
GUY in an action packed 8 minute Challenge match.  This was kind of a brave
challenge, I thought.  Since That Guy has a much better record.
     MISS TEAK (1-8015) (26-22-1,53) of SEA DOGS challenged MIAMI MIA (7-4818) (21-
56-3,59) of BEACH BABES.  MISS TEAK defeated MIAMI MIA in an exciting 1 minute
Challenge match.  Mia is our top Parry-Striker, by the way.  And the spectators
always like a girl-on-girl fight, for some reason.
     PEG LEG (36-6196) (22-16-0,80) of SEA DOGS challenged DEATH MAGE (62-2115) (17-
7-1,77) of DEATH MOB.  PEG LEG was devastated by DEATH MAGE in a 1 minute mismatched
Challenge conflict.  Even though he lost, Peg Leg is our top Parry-Lunger.  A
difficult style to master, is it not?  Judging by the fact Peg Leg was runner-up to
the Least Popular award this turn, I guess the spectators don't think he's mastered
his style yet.
     PRISONER 0103 (82-33733) (23-56-0,52) of DUNGEON CELL 21 challenged BEACH BETTY
(7-5768) (27-43-0,78) of BEACH BABES.  PRISONER 0103 was demolished by BEACH BETTY in
a 2 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.  That was surprising, wasn't it?
     PARROT KEEPER (21-6157) (24-9-2,82) of SEA DOGS challenged MARV JR (18-9288) (8-
1-0,75) of WASTELAND.  PARROT KEEPER was overpowered by MARV JR in a 1 minute one-
sided Challenge duel.  Whew!  I assume Marv Jr. is a Bloodgamer.  And, it seems, a
very able one!  Because the more experienced Parrot Keeper is no pushover.
     PATCH (36-7297) (15-9-0,44) of SEA DOGS challenged TALLAHASSE TINA (7-4889) (17-
74-0,42) of BEACH BABES.  PATCH lost to TALLAHASSE TINA in an exciting 1 minute
Challenge fray.  Tina was this turn's most challenged warrior, no doubt because
fighting her looks like an easy win.  Let this be a lesson.  There's nothing easy
about fighting a Lord Protector with nearly four times your experience.
     Once again, our Keeper of the Runeblade failed to challenge (or write a column).
NEOSPHINCTER (18-7317) (107-38-1,500) of WASTELAND fought CHIEF STORMCLOUD (51-4306)
(40-18-1,235) of RAINDANCE.  NEOSPHINCTER devastated CHIEF STORMCLOUD in a popular 2
minute mismatched Title brawl.  I hardly think it could have been a difficult fight.
Look at their records.  Neo had over twice the recognition, and 145 fights to Chief's
58.  Neo COULD have challenged Hailstorm, with a record of  68-26-1-364.  That would
have been less unfair, don't you think?  Maybe Neosphincter was afraid.
     No one died.  No one avoided.
     Even the fake Dirk Cholera who fights as a stand-in, is hard to beat.  That's
what Crack is Cheap, our Overall Popularity Leader, discovered this turn.  CRACK IS
CHEAP (82-18422) (59-78-0,207) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought DIRK CHOLERA (104-29)
(80-50-4,250) of STAND-IN VICTIMS.  CRACK IS CHEAP was devastated by DIRK CHOLERA in
a 2 minute gruesome mismatched match.
     This turn's favorite is Gateway.  5 GOT PICKED (41-4199) (45-18-2,209) of
072905R fought GATEWAY (82-15631) (48-37-0,207) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  5 GOT
PICKED viciously subdued GATEWAY in an exciting 5 minute bloody battle.  It didn't
look to me like Gateway was scummed.  Were you, Gateway?
     And...getting beaten by one of the less dangerous stand-ins is not a great
introduction to Darkholm, is it?  SHEWISH WHALER (18-9272) (22-11-1,78) of SEA DOGS
fought BOOKIE'S GUARD (104-5) (35-18-0,75) of STAND-IN VICTIMS.  SHEWISH WHALER was
demolished by BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.  That's why the Whaler
was voted This Turn's Least Popular Warrior.  Tsk tsk.  Try to do better next time.
     Well...I believe that's it.  Thank you, one and all, for participating in this
turn's fights.  See you in two weeks!

                                    Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317       108  38  1  524  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            68  26  1  364  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 MR. DUTCH CRUNCH 18-9257    49  15  0  297  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 FRANKENBERRY 82--13733      27   8  0  271  DM OWNS YOU (1303)         DWES EG
 GOKU 7-5628                 76  33  0  258  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 HE HATE ME 18-7820          89  61  2  237  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  53  38  1  234  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          91  50  2  230  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    126  47  1  229  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        46  18  2  223  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 COLON CONVOY 18-9115        45  32  0  223  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 2 62-2976                   77  62  4  221  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 TWIG 82-25226               64  42  0  216  POWER PLAY (1301)          DWES EG
 PTI 7-5412                 103  38  0  214  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463       81  56  0  211  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 MASOCHISTIC NEWT 62-1081    36  37  3  211  DEATH MOB (329)            VALAMANTIS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ONE A DAY 98-799            94  53  3  210  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           76  38  4  210  TWISTED SESAME (1289)      SOUTH RIDGE
 CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306    40  19  1  209  RAINDANCE (1106)           TRICORUS
 DOC STEELE 18-6010          98 178  6  208  ARROGANCE (732)            TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           78  57  0  207  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 GOHAN 18-8449               69  49  1  206  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GATEWAY 82-15631            48  38  0  205  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          39  57  1  204  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 PRISONER ZC01 13-4876       31  11  1  203  DUNGEON CELL ZC3 (1297)    DULLENS
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  75  55  0  202  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 PUTRID KOALA 62-96          41  33  2  201  DEATH MOB (329)            VALAMANTIS
 ANTAGONIST 3-2824           24  26  2  200  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     59  79  0  198  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 VISTA BLOWS 18-9258         41  21  0  197  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   48  51  0  196  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS
 COOLER 82-7277              86  81  1  193  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HEAT 98-981                 64  54  4  192  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           59  54  0  192  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     29  25  0  189  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 HATCH BATTENER 1-8014       28  21  1  185  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           26  51  0  185  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HORTATOR 1-7791             29  28  3  179  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     40  19  1  175  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     35  58  2  172  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    42 146  2  169  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 BALLAST 1-7727              28  36  0  166  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 BRICKTOP 18-7955            67  69  0  164  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     32  34  0  159  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     21  47  0  155  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1308)     DWES EG
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          32  43  0  152  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 A. MONK, P.I. 24-4732       37  13  0  151  071406C (1292)             ZORPUNT

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THAT GUY 97-2120            23  16  3  141  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 MAST MONKEY 21-6158         18   9  2  139  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 TEPID FELONY 98-1081        25  15  4  123  KILLER WORDS F3 (1295)     SYVYN'S HILL
-GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         25   5  1  118  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         43 145  1  114  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LITTLE GIRL CRUSH 82--9797  17   5  0   99  13 YRS & COUNTING (1310)   DWES EG
 MARV JR 18-9288              9   1  0   98  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 DEATH MAGE 62-2115          18   7  1   93  DEATH MOB (329)            VALAMANTIS
 INDENTURED OARSMAN 18-9167  14   6  1   91  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          28  43  0   84  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 PARROT KEEPER 21-6157       24  10  2   71  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      22  12  1   71  SEA DOGS (328)             TALCAMA
 PEG LEG 36-6196             22  17  0   71  SEA DOGS (1309)            JHANS
 MISS TEAK 1-8015            27  22  1   62  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 SCURVY LAD 2-5366           15   3  1   61  SEA DOGS (1312)            NIANIA
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            21  57  3   52  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      18  74  0   52  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     23  57  0   49  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1299)     DWES EG
 PATCH 36-7297               15  10  0   39  SEA DOGS (1309)            JHANS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Bloodgames Guys -- Where are you? -- One Armed Bandit

Sea Dogs -- 2-10, huh.  I guess I need to make some challenges. -- One Armed Bandit

Bricktop -- The Brickhouse of Lapur is a more interesting person.  Just in case you
wonder.  Oh, you're a golem, you probably don't do "wondered."  Whatever. -- Laguna
Lil

Men Working -- They always say that.  Prove it. -- Aloha Alice
P.S.  Fortunately, there was room on the back of the fight report to do a printhead
test pattern.  Clogged!

Little Girl Crush -- I hope it isn't on me!  Your regard would be, dare I say it,
crushing. -- Beach Betty

Prisoner 0103 -- I dunno, are you ALLOWED to receive a personal? -- Tallahasse Tina

Peg Leg -- I hope you get powder-post beetles in that leg. -- Maimi Mia

9 August 2008
All -- We are currently looking for capable manager that will give the Desolate
Empire Alliance a full roster for the Turf War.  We currently have four (4) roster
slots that are open to capable managers without questionable morals.  If interested
for the Turf War, contact:  Lamar Treas-Wilson, Dok Sik, Dok Sik Killas DM 47

8 July 2008
                *****************************************************
                **********************ATTENTION**********************
                *****************************************************
                                      ALLIANCES
                                         OF
                                      ALASTARI
                *****************************************************
                **********************ATTENTION**********************
                *****************************************************
                                 *TURF WAR VI RULES*
                            Starting Nov 2008 (10 turns)

Anyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances created solely to compete in the Turf War!  To participate, each alliance must:
        1.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork
            (DM 47) newsletter.
        2.  Announcements made on the D2 Forums will not be accepted.

Captains are responsible for:
        1.  Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their
            alliance;
        2.  Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
        3.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Certificate to participate

Participating managers who are not Captains must:
        1.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Certificate to participate
        2.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name, and
            alliance they will represent in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.
            Announcement made on the D2 Forums will not be accepted.
               a.  No scores will be tabulated until a Gift Certificate is received.
                   No EXCEPTIONS.
               b.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare themselves in
                   the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter as stated above AND be verified
                   by the alliance Captain they will represent.
               c.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  No multiple teams or
                   aliases will be allowed.  Violations will result in immediate
                   disqualification from the Turf War (so be sure to take any
                   multiple teams OFF of Team Maintenance).
               d.  Scoring will NOT be retroactive for teams that do not properly
                   declare or fail to send a Gift Certificate by Turn 1.  In other
                   words, if your Gift Certificate is not received until Turn 3 of
                   the Turf War, and you have fought on Turns 1 and 2, your scoring
                   will not begin until Turn 3.  All conditions must be met before
                   scoring will begin--declaration, verification, and Gift
                   Certificate received.
               e.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 5 of
                   the Turf War.
               f.  For purposes of scoring, the moderators will score the Turf War
                   and settle any and all disputes as they arise.  Their decisions
                   will be final.

Scoring will be as follows for Fights:
                Win   Loss   Kill      Die
Challenge        +2     -2     +5       -5
Match Up         +1     -1     +1       -5
Bloodfeud        +2     -5     +5      -10
Champion         x2     x2     x2       x2
Dark Arena*     +10     -5     xx       xx
*After 2nd win, warrior scores no points for wins

Special Scoring Considerations for the Turf War are as follows:
Spy Report mention (team name only)              +2
Style Master                                     +2
Duelmaster                                       +2

Champions:
     1.  A Champion may be declared, but one is not mandatory.
     2.  Only one Champion allowed per manager at any given time.
     3.  Champions that graduate or are killed by another warrior in the arena, but
         not the Dark Arena, may be replaced.
     4.  Champions must be in the Adepts bracket or lower on the turn they are
         declared, and may NOT have gone above Adepts level at any time; this
         includes teams transferred into North Fork for the Turf War.

Bloodfeuds:
        1.  Bloodfeuds will score points on all four (4) turns.
        2.  There is no limit to which warrior may bloodfeud or how often.

Tournament Considerations:
        1.  Tournament participation is ALLOWED and encouraged.
        2.  Tournament Victors won during the course of the contest will gain a one
            (1) time bonus of 25 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a
            warrior(s) wins such status.
        3.  Tournament Champions won during the course of the contest will gain a one
            (1) time bonus of 50 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a
            warrior(s) win such status.
        4.  Points for TVs and TCs will be applied the Turn after RSI posts
            tournament results in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter (i.e., if the
            results post on North Fork turn 275, points will be credited on North
            Fork turn 276 to the applicable teams).

Special Considerations:
        1.  Each alliance begins the Turf War with zero (0) points.
        2.  There will be NO alliance or team changes once the contest has begun.  If
            you begin the Turf War with Alliance A, you must end the Turf War with
            Alliance A.  If you begin the Turf War with Team A, you must end the Turf
            War with Team A.
        3.  There will be a maximum of seven (7) teams allowed per alliance for the
            Turf War.
        4.  The Dark Arena may be used on the first turn only, of every warrior,
            without penalty.

Prizes:
The Turf War is a "winner take all" contest.  All prizes and 100% of the Gift
Certificates will be awarded to the Captain of the winning alliance.  It is the
responsibility of the Captain to distribute Gift Certificates.  Moderators will
submit a list of each manager on the winning alliance to RSI at the completion of the
contest for the non-Certificate prizes.

The following prizes have been secured from RSI:
        1.  Renaming of the North Fork (DM 47) arena;
        2.  Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters (one for each manager in the winning
            alliance);
        3.  Known Favorites for one warrior on each team of the winning alliance
            (warrior must be ranked Initiate or above, must be alive, and must have
            at least one arena fight to receive this award).
        4.  +1 Skill bonus potion for each manager on the winning alliance.  Bonus
            potion must be applied to a living warrior from (DM 47)
        5.  +1 Skill bonus potion (one) for each manager who fights in all 10 rounds
            AND 45 fights of the Turf War.  Bonus potion must be applied to a living
            warrior from (DM 47)
These awards will be listed by the Moderator for claiming from RSI (Lee) within 4
turns of the end of TW VI.

Moderators:
The Moderators for this event will be Oz and Master Darque.  They will arbitrate all
dealings during the course of the contest.  Their decisions will be final.  All
questions, comments, and scoring disputes may be directed to Land of Oz or Darque

Forces via diplo in DM 47.  Managers with internet access may send a private message
to [The Consortium] or [Darque] on the Duel2 Forums.  Lastly, you may also email
questions, comments, and scoring disputes to rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com.

Please note there have been rule changes from the last Turf War.  Please read them
carefully!

Contest will begin in November following the Fall Mail In Tournament.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

EVIL ELMO bested DOC STEELE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
TWIG narrowly defeated ??RADAR?? in a exciting 3 minute gory Challenge melee.
HATCH BATTENER was vanquished by MASOCHISTIC NEWT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
PRISONER ZC01 defeated THE IMPECCABLE PIG in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
BALLAST was devastated by GREASY NAPKINS in a popular 3 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
HORTATOR savagely defeated BRICKTOP in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory Challenge brawl.
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was viciously subdued by SMELL CAREFULLY in a 3 minute melee.
MAST MONKEY vanquished MEN WORKING in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PRISONER 0118 savagely defeated THAT GUY in a action packed 8 minute Challenge match.
MISS TEAK defeated MIAMI MIA in a exciting 1 minute Challenge match.
PEG LEG was devastated by DEATH MAGE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
PRISONER 0103 was demolished by BEACH BETTY in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
PARROT KEEPER was overpowered by MARV JR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
PATCH lost to TALLAHASSE TINA in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fray.
NEOSPHINCTER devastated CHIEF STORMCLOUD in a popular 2 minute mismatched Title brawl.
GOKU overpowered PUTRID KOALA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match.
HAILSTORM overpowered SOLACIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody mismatched fight.
HE HATE ME overpowered SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 2 minute gory uneven fight.
GOHAN slimly lost to DIRK CHOLERA in a action packed 3 minute bloody duel.
HEAT was overpowered by BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
ONE A DAY was viciously subdued by FERD THE TOWER in a popular 5 minute match.
MR. DUTCH CRUNCH overpowered SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
SUPER BUM vanquished SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
2 savagely defeated ANTAGONIST in a action packed 2 minute brutal competition.
ETCHED IN STONE defeated BLIND BEGGAR in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fight.
RED FUSION was savagely defeated by SOLACIA in a exciting 6 minute gory match.
COOKIE FOR THE SOUL overpowered LOCAL CONSTABLE in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
TASTY HANGNAIL demolished SHADOWMANE in a popular 1 minute uneven contest.
5 GOT PICKED viciously subdued GATEWAY in a exciting 5 minute bloody battle.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS beat SHEWISH GIANT in a popular 2 minute fray.
PTI demolished LOCAL CONSTABLE in a exciting 3 minute gruesome mismatched match.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! was overpowered by LAUGHING BARMAID in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
COOLER was demolished by COLON CONVOY in a 1 minute uneven competition.
VISTA BLOWS overpowered WORK IN PROGRESS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
CRACK IS CHEAP was devastated by DIRK CHOLERA in a 2 minute gruesome mismatched match.
MANUTE BOL handily defeated ALOHA ALICE in a exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.
FRANKENBERRY handily defeated FERD THE TOWER in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.
A. MONK, P.I. was demolished by LAGUNA LIL in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
TEPID FELONY overpowered INDENTURED OARSMAN in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LITTLE GIRL CRUSH overcame SCURVY LAD in a exciting 4 minute duel.
SHEWISH WHALER was demolished by BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                      22         AIMED BLOW       140 -  73 -  1      66  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  17         LUNGING ATTACK    82 -  63 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   7 -  0      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       58 -  55 -  0      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK   13 -  15 -  1      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     12 -  18 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  23 -  0      23  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  18 -  0      10  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  11 -  0       0  |

Turn 487 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW        17 -  5     LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  9         8  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  9         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1     
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317      108  38  1  524 WASTELAND (468)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOKU 7-5628                76  33  0  258 WASTELAND II (500)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112   126  47  1  229 CEMENTIA (1112)
STRIKING ATTACK  MASOCHISTIC NEWT 62-1081   36  37  3  211 DEATH MOB (329)
WALL OF STEEL    EVIL ELMO 99-1222          76  38  4  210 TWISTED SESAME (1289)
BASHING ATTACK   LAGUNA LIL 7-5681          26  51  0  185 BEACH BABES (1058)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   42 146  2  169 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-LUNGE      PEG LEG 36-6196            22  17  0   71 SEA DOGS (1309)
PARRY-STRIKE     MIAMI MIA 7-4818           21  57  3   52 BEACH BABES (1058)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was GATEWAY 82-15631.  The ten other most popular fighters were SMELL 
CAREFULLY 18-8889, PTI 7-5412, PRISONER 0118 82--31788, DOC STEELE 18-6010, HORTATOR 
1-7791, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, THAT GUY 97-2120, NEOSPHINCTER 
18-7317, and 2 62-2976.

The least popular fighter this week was SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were PEG LEG 36-6196, MEN WORKING 38-4189, HATCH BATTENER 1-8014, 
INDENTURED OARSMAN 18-9167, A. MONK, P.I. 24-4732, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, WORK IN 
PROGRESS 38-4193, COOLER 82-7277, HEAT 98-981, and PUTRID KOALA 62-96.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  3 0  TALCAMA(18)          7  5 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  ZORPUNT(24)          0  1 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       3  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  1 0  JHANS(36)            0  2 0  DWES EG(82)          6  5 0  
TRANSEL(6)           1  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            7  2 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  2 0  
DULLENS(13)          1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
WILLAF(16)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HATCH BATTENER 1-8014       28  21  1  185  SEA DOGS (1298)            MORDANT
 SCURVY LAD 2-5366           15   3  1   61  SEA DOGS (1312)            NIANIA
 ANTAGONIST 3-2824           24  26  2  200  KIDS GONE BAD (446)        OSKSI
 THE IMPECCABLE PIG 5-3818   48  51  0  196  JUST DON'T CARE (1242)     KALTOS

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COOKIE FOR THE SOUL 6-6002  53  38  1  234  HOLE IN THE WALL (1243)    TRANSEL
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            68  26  1  364  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PRISONER ZC01 13-4876       31  11  1  203  DUNGEON CELL ZC3 (1297)    DULLENS
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     40  19  1  175  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 NEOSPHINCTER 18-7317       108  38  1  524  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 MAST MONKEY 21-6158         18   9  2  139  SEA DOGS (1307)            SUNSET
 A. MONK, P.I. 24-4732       37  13  0  151  071406C (1292)             ZORPUNT
 PEG LEG 36-6196             22  17  0   71  SEA DOGS (1309)            JHANS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    42 146  2  169  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        46  18  2  223  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  75  55  0  202  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 CHIEF STORMCLOUD 51-4306    40  19  1  209  RAINDANCE (1106)           TRICORUS
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    126  47  1  229  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 2 62-2976                   77  62  4  221  NUMBERS (937)              VALAMANTIS
 FRANKENBERRY 82--13733      27   8  0  271  DM OWNS YOU (1303)         DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            23  16  3  141  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799            94  53  3  210  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           76  38  4  210  TWISTED SESAME (1289)      SOUTH RIDGE

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The summer tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of 
September, 2008.  If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please 
contact RSI Customer Service.  The charge for a name change is $1.