DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 06/20/2009    Duedate: 07/03/2009

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-508

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3586 2609 14 57.9      LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                   
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                        2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  1966 1625 23 54.7
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                           ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    THE NEPHEW 82/1322                          DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                 3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1182 1048  8 53.0
    WASTELAND 18/468                          4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    408  587  6 41.0
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1049 1883 17 35.8
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                       6 BEACH BABES 7/1058    407  769  4 34.6
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                      7 THE VOLS 6/1314         1    1  1 50.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 625): MIASMA of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 507): GALLORDIN of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 631): FARFALE of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 626): HALIBUTT of WIZARD'S WRATH (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 626): WHISPER WALK of MY LITTLE TRIBE (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 629): CANDY CANE of CHURCH LADIES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 619): DEIMOS of THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 615): SPARE ANCHOR of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 614): PILSON of DEATH MOB 4 (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 586): EVA MENDES of GIRLS X3 (Non?, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 578): REDD CORVAITT of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 260): D'URVILLE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 562): CHATTY CABALIST of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 513): HASARCH of DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 247): KORASIM of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 235): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 463): FYRE SWORD of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 211): THE TRUNK MONKEY of BARBARIAN HORDE (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 507): SUPER BUM of FLAT BROKE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 625): LAB EXPERIMENTS (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 507): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 631): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 626): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 626): MY LITTLE TRIBE (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 629): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 619): VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 615): SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 614): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 586): GIRLS X3 (Non?, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 578): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 260): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 562): DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 513): AMAZON ELITE (?, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 247): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 235): ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 463): DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 211): FEARSOME LEGENDS (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 507) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 625): BIMBETTE of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 614): PILSON of DEATH MOB 4 (Jakari, mgr.)
                           SLYTHR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
                           WHITMAN of LITERATE LOONS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 260): D'URVILLE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 234): KIRRALA of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hello, my countrymen.

There were 21 fights, 10 of which involved a stand-in.  This means 32 actual Lord
Protectors competed.  No challenges, no avoids.  Do you ever play that little mental
game where you ask, If we were all suddenly transported to a desert island or pocket
dimension or something, and we were the last people left, what would become of
humanity (speaking loosely, to include elves, dwarves, and so on).  First of all, I
don't think 32 would provide enough genetic diversity to keep the population healthy.
Second, how many of you are golems?

How many ARE golems?  Raise your hands.  I usually don't pay attention to that, but I
started looking around, and I can verify that Smell Carefully is a golem, as is Crack
is Cheap.

Forever trapped in second place!  The amazing PTI cannot ever be Keeper of the
Runeblade because he can't fight Super Bum due to being on the same team.  And no one
from the other six guilds has any chance of beating Super Bum.  The only warrior in
the Grand Challenger Champions who isn't in Super Bum's guild is Gateway, and he
doesn't look that promising, in my opinion.  But he may end up fighting Super Bum
next turn, so we'll see.  PTI (7-5412) (120-41-0,292) of WASTELAND II fought SMELL
CAREFULLY (18-8889) (41-72-2,213) of STREET PIZZA.  PTI overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY
in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched duel.  It was not hard to predict the outcome
of that fight, eh?

In a continuation of the glory (and monotony) that is his reign, SUPER BUM (82-18411)
(111-50-2,480) of FLAT BROKE fought ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (45-71-1,224) of DYSLEXICS
UNTIE! II.  SUPER BUM bested ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Title fight. 
Poor ??RadaR?? is still our top Wall of Steel warrior, despite his repeated losses to
Super Bum.

Sorry to say, somebody died this turn.  GEN. JACKSON (6-6285) (21-12-1,138) of THE
VOLS fought MEN WORKING (38-4189) (45-163-1,124) of JUST BECAUSE.  GEN. JACKSON slew
MEN WORKING in an exciting 1 minute duel.  Seems unsporting in a way, but it was just
the unluck of the draw.  I don't send death gifts the way Galen does over in Talahya,
but I did say "Aww," when he died.

The Blind Beggar IS tougher than you might think, especially since his eyes got
healed.  He wears a blindfold but I think the weave is thin enough that he's able to
see through it.  5 GOT PICKED (41-4199) (59-25-2,216) of 072905R fought BLIND BEGGAR
(104-26) (40-35-0,200) of STAND-ONS.  5 GOT PICKED won victory over BLIND BEGGAR in a
popular 1 minute fight.  And 5 remains our top Aimed Blow.  I'm willing to bet that 5
is a golem.  Any takers?

Despite losing this turn, Cooler is our top Slasher.  HAILSTORM (7-5698) (82-32-
1,215) of WASTELAND II fought COOLER (82-7277) (94-93-1,190) of STYROFOAM.  HAILSTORM
bested COOLER in a popular 1 minute duel.

And our premier Parry-Ripper is Work in Progress.  LITTLEST TYRANT (82-55890) (22-5-
0,205) of THE NEPHEW fought WORK IN PROGRESS (38-4193) (45-163-2,176) of JUST
BECAUSE.  LITTLEST TYRANT viciously subdued WORK IN PROGRESS in an exciting 2 minute
bloody fray.

No one really wants to be a Parry-Striker anymore.  Our top PS is Crysoprase, who got
beaten by our Overall Popularity Leader.  CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (70-88-0,201) of
NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought CRYSOPRASE (1-3266) (76-93-2,166) of ILLFANG PACT.  CRACK
IS CHEAP luckily beat CRYSOPRASE in a popular 4 minute bloody duel.

And our best Basher is Laguna Lil.  I would be tempted to guess she was the ONLY
Basher in the arena, but there were 26 Basher fights in the last 10 turns, so guess
not.  MANUTE BOL (5-4233) (71-62-0,204) of LARGE LOSERS fought LAGUNA LIL (7-5681)
(28-69-0,154) of BEACH BABES.  MANUTE BOL handily defeated LAGUNA LIL in a popular 1
minute mismatched competition.

My friends, I hope you have a fun two weeks, and I hope this Regional Tourney manages
to perk things up a bit.

                                       Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         112  50  2  486  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ONE A DAY 98-799           111  57  4  385  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 PTI 7-5412                 121  41  0  303  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         106  65  2  292  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GATEWAY 82-15631            57  50  1  242  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        60  25  2  225  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    144  50  1  222  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            83  32  1  218  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 VISTA BLOWS 18-9258         53  30  1  211  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463      100  58  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  89  62  0  210  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          45  72  1  210  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     41  73  2  210  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 THAT GUY 97-2120            38  22  3  208  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 LITTLEST TYRANT 82--9646    23   5  0  207  THE NEPHEW (1322)          DWES EG
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           72  62  0  206  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 HEAT 98-981                 76  63  4  204  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     71  88  0  203  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277              94  94  1  201  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     56  24  1  201  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     35  40  0  200  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 RED FUSION 6-5480           91  65  0  187  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  79  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    45 164  2  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          34  62  0  180  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  94  2  173  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           28  70  0  159  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GEN. JACKSON 6-6285         22  12  2  141  THE VOLS (1314)            TRANSEL
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         45 164  1  127  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      26  87  0   88  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          33  59  0   71  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            26  73  3   50  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
MEN WORKING 38-4189       45 164  1 JUST BECAUSE 1151      GEN. JACKSON 6-6285       508

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

5 Got Picked -- And no doubt regretted it afterward. -- Aloha Alice

Men Working -- As if! -- Laguna Lil

The bookies must really have a problem with their guards. -- Beach Betty

So, was the Drunken Fisherman drunk when he was press-ganged into fighting in the
arena? -- Tallahasse Tina

     He was drunk all right, but he wasn't press-ganged.  With enough mead in him, he
     thinks he's the toughest guy around.

And yet again the Bookie's Guard. -- Miami Mia

Smell Carefully -- Yeah... thanks for the groin hit.  As a golem, you don't know what
groins are for, do you?  Your loss. -- Crysoprase

Crack is Cheap -- At least I did you some harm.  You're good at what you do, though.
Scum. -- Stassia

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SUPER BUM bested ??RADAR?? in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Title fight.
ONE A DAY viciously subdued SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 3 minute brutal battle.
PTI overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched duel.
TASTY HANGNAIL was overpowered by FERD THE TOWER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
HAILSTORM bested COOLER in a popular 1 minute duel.
GATEWAY devastated RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory mismatched match.
ETCHED IN STONE overcame SHADOWMANE in a action packed 1 minute gruesome melee.
HE HATE ME vanquished GREASY NAPKINS in a 1 minute uneven fight.
5 GOT PICKED won victory over BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 1 minute fight.
VISTA BLOWS overpowered ALOHA ALICE in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided melee.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS was demolished by FERD THE TOWER in a 1 minute competition.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! demolished STASSIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
CRACK IS CHEAP luckily beat CRYSOPRASE in a popular 4 minute bloody duel.
LITTLEST TYRANT viciously subdued WORK IN PROGRESS in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray.
THAT GUY slimly won victory over SHADOWMANE in a popular 6 minute brutal brawl.
HEAT demolished SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
MANUTE BOL handily defeated LAGUNA LIL in a popular 1 minute mismatched competition.
GEN. JACKSON slew MEN WORKING in a exciting 1 minute duel.
BEACH BETTY overpowered DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a action packed 1 minute uneven fray.
TALLAHASSE TINA devastated COCKY SPECTATOR in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
MIAMI MIA was vanquished by DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       8         AIMED BLOW        94 -  38 -  1      71  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       50 -  26 -  1      66  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  36 -  2      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  14 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -  31 -  1      26  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  15 -  0      25  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    3 -   9 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     3 -  23 -  0      12  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 508 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         6 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         5  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SUPER BUM 82-18411        112  50  2  486 FLAT BROKE (1184)
LUNGING ATTACK   PTI 7-5412                121  41  0  303 WASTELAND II (500)
AIMED BLOW       5 GOT PICKED 41-4199       60  25  2  225 072905R (1273)
WALL OF STEEL    ??RADAR?? 82-20310         45  72  1  210 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             94  94  1  201 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   45 164  2  180 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          76  94  2  173 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   LAGUNA LIL 7-5681          28  70  0  159 BEACH BABES (1058)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.  The ten other most popular fighters were THAT GUY 
97-2120, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, ONE A DAY 98-799, GATEWAY 82-15631, LITTLEST TYRANT 
82--9646, SUPER BUM 82-18411, PTI 7-5412, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, VISTA BLOWS 18-9258, 
and MEN WORKING 38-4189.

The least popular fighter this week was GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, STUPID SEXY FLANDERS 42-3836, ALOHA ALICE 
7-4867, MIAMI MIA 7-4818, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, STASSIA 37-1523, RED FUSION 
6-5480, COOLER 82-7277, HAILSTORM 7-5698, and TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          2  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          4  3 0  
TRANSEL(6)           1  1 1  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  4 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     2  0 0  
WILLAF(16)           1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  94  2  173  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           72  62  0  206  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480           91  65  0  187  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                 121  41  0  303  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     56  24  1  201  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         106  65  2  292  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  79  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    45 164  2  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        60  25  2  225  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  89  62  0  210  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    144  50  1  222  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         112  50  2  486  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            38  22  3  208  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799           111  57  4  385  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL