DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 07/04/2009    Duedate: 07/17/2009

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-509

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3597 2615 14 57.9      LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                   
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                        2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  1966 1629 23 54.7
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                           ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    THE NEPHEW 82/1322                          DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                 3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1182 1049  8 53.0
    WASTELAND 18/468                          4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    408  589  6 40.9
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1050 1884 17 35.8
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                       6 BEACH BABES 7/1058    408  773  4 34.5
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                      7-THE VOLS 6/1314         1    1  1 50.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 626): ENURAM of DESOLATE TEMPLE (Toker, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 509): GALLORDIN of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 632): FARFALE of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 627): HALIBUTT of WIZARD'S WRATH (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 627): WHISPER WALK of MY LITTLE TRIBE (Little Whop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 631): EPEE MYSTIQUE of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 620): DEIMOS of THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 617): SPARE ANCHOR of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 616): CROUCHING HAMSTER of D.R.I. (?, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 588): EVA MENDES of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 580): GURU GNU of HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 561): DUCK A L'ORANGE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 564): MODEL PRISONER of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 515): UP FROM THE SEA of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 248): RUBBER BULLET of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 236): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 464): CAPTAIN SCOURGE of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 212): SLO-PITCH of SPORTS CRIP PLAYS (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 508): SUPER BUM of FLAT BROKE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 626): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 509): STEEL ARMS (?, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 632): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 627): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 627): MY LITTLE TRIBE (Little Whop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 631): SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 620): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 617): SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 616): RAGING LORDS (General Ikillu, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 588): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 580): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 261): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 564): DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 515): RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 248): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 236): ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 464): DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 212): FEARSOME LEGENDS (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 508) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 509): GALLORDIN of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 630): WHOLLY MOLLY of AMEN! (?, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 616): CROUCHING HAMSTER of D.R.I. (?, mgr.)
               (turn 615): SURLY DECKHAND of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 580): REDD CORVAIT of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 261): DEELA ELLIS of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
                   (turn 260): D'URVILLE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 563): CHATTY CABALIST of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 513): HASARCH of DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 248): RUBBER BULLET of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
                           A.O. HELL of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Eleven stand-ins participated in a total of twenty-one fights.  Dear, dear.  There
were no challenges, no avoids, no deaths.  So let's focus on something more cheerful,
shall we?

Coyotes!  I took my dog for a walk last evening.  We walked past a cornfield; the
cornstalks have grown taller than I am.  And somewhere in or beyond that cornfield,
my dog and I heard the coyotes howling.  Lots of them.  Some of them had very high
voices, but I don't think that necessarily means they're babies, does it?  Coyotes DO
have high voices, right?  I couldn't tell how far away they were.  Corn distorts
sound, everyone knows that.  Anyway, so my dog--who generally roams ahead of me and
to the sides--decided that she would be a very civilized dog and walk beside me.
Very close beside me.  I kept almost tripping over her.  So as soon as we got to the
edge of town, we turned around and gave them a rousing howl.  I howled.  My faithful
companion gave me a dismissive glance.  Dogs aren't impressed when humans howl.

Anyway, tonight when we went for our walk, I carried a quarterstaff.  Nothing like a
big hard stick to make you feel overconfident.

Ah... well, I suppose I should mention a few fights.

SUPER BUM (82-18411) (112-50-2,486) of FLAT BROKE fought GATEWAY (82-15631) (57-50-
1,242) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  SUPER BUM unbelievably bested GATEWAY in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute Title fight.  Mr. Bum is still our top Total Parry.

For all that he's a TP, Super Bum is clearly no scum.  But there ARE warriors working
hard for the title of "best scum."  Crack is Cheap dragged his fight with Crysoprase
out for six minutes.  For all the recognition he earned.  *sigh*  CRACK IS CHEAP (82-
18422) (71-88-0,203) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought CRYSOPRASE (1-3266) (76-94-2,173)
of ILLFANG PACT.  CRACK IS CHEAP unbelievably bested CRYSOPRASE in an action packed 6
minute duel.  You know what that was worth?  Two points!  At least he got a win.
With seventeen more fights like that, he'll be able to claim a winning record again.
Oddly, Mr. Cheap and Crysoprase claimed the titles of Overall Popularity Leader and
This Turn's favorite, respectively.

There were a couple of four-minute fights.  Both were exactly four minutes and
twenty-two seconds, so they are tied for second longest fight this turn.

* ONE A DAY (98-799) (111-57-4,385) of MY DRUGS fought ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (45-72-
1,210) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II.  ONE A DAY subdued ??RADAR?? in an exciting 4 minute
melee.  ??RadaR?? is our top Wall of Steel warrior.  Mmm!

* COOLER (82-7277) (94-94-1,201) of STYROFOAM fought RED FUSION (6-5480) (91-65-
0,187) of IT'S NEW!.  COOLER was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 4
minute gory match.  Cooler is our Top Slasher, despite getting beaten.

This time, Miami Mia was able to fight a Bookie's Guard instead of a Drunken
Fisherman.  MIAMI MIA (7-4818) (26-73-3,50) of BEACH BABES fought BOOKIE'S GUARD
(104-5) (35-18-0,75) of COMMISSION SPECIALS.  MIAMI MIA was demolished by BOOKIE'S
GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided fight.  Well, what do you say?  Like this one better?

21 fights... 11 stand-ins... which means 31 actual Lord Protectors competed this
turn.  So, we have not yet reached the situation where anyone appears on both the
popularity and unpopularity lists.  I'll let you know when we reach that
schizophrenic pass.

I think I have said more than enough, and so I'll leave you to enjoy your summer for
the next two weeks.  Don't forget sunblock!

                                Desiree

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         113  50  2  496  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ONE A DAY 98-799           112  57  4  393  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         107  65  2  318  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    145  50  1  233  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 THAT GUY 97-2120            39  22  3  214  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  90  62  0  212  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           73  62  0  212  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PTI 7-5412                 121  42  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463      100  59  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 GATEWAY 82-15631            57  51  1  210  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     56  25  1  210  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          45  73  1  210  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     35  41  0  210  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 LITTLEST TYRANT 82--9646    24   5  0  210  THE NEPHEW (1322)          DWES EG
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        60  26  2  207  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 HEAT 98-981                 77  63  4  206  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     72  88  0  205  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 VISTA BLOWS 18-9258         53  31  1  205  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           92  65  0  202  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     41  74  2  202  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 COOLER 82-7277              94  95  1  198  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            83  33  1  192  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  80  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    45 165  2  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  95  2  178  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          34  63  0  178  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           28  71  0  166  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-GEN. JACKSON 6-6285         22  12  2  141  THE VOLS (1314)            TRANSEL
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         46 164  1  137  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      27  87  0   90  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          33  60  0   72  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            26  74  3   51  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Vista Blows -- And your point is? -- Aloha Alice

Manute Bol -- Time to start living up to your team name and losing big time. --
Laguna Lil

That stupid Drunken Fisherman again. -- Beach Betty

What the heck?  The Cocky Spectator starts out with NO recognition?  He's a pest, but
it's still a tough row for him. -- Tallahasse Tina

And another Drunken Fisherman -- Miami Mia
P.S.  In his condition, he wouldn't last five minutes off Miami.

     The fishing here at Willow Beach has been poor lately--it's the recession, you
     know.  The fish are all out looking for jobs.  Therefore, the fishermen have
     nothing to do but lie around in their boats and drink.

Psycho Grandma -- I've never liked grandmothers.  My own grandmother used to feed us
poisoned cookies. -- Stassia

Crack is Cheap -- Impressive scumming. -- Crysoprase

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SUPER BUM unbelievably bested GATEWAY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title fight.
ONE A DAY subdued ??RADAR?? in a exciting 4 minute melee.
PTI was overpowered by FERD THE TOWER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute mismatched duel.
HAILSTORM was overpowered by BLIND BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ETCHED IN STONE vanquished GREASY NAPKINS in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
HE HATE ME handily defeated DIRK CHOLERA in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
5 GOT PICKED lost to SOLACIA in a action packed 3 minute gory duel.
VISTA BLOWS lost to SOLACIA in a popular 1 minute duel.
SMELL CAREFULLY was defeated by THAT GUY in a action packed 3 minute match.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS overpowered LAGUNA LIL in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! was demolished by FERD THE TOWER in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
COOLER was luckily beaten by RED FUSION in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory match.
TASTY HANGNAIL was handily defeated by FERD THE TOWER in a 2 minute conflict.
CRACK IS CHEAP unbelievably bested CRYSOPRASE in a action packed 6 minute duel.
LITTLEST TYRANT savagely defeated STASSIA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody brawl.
HEAT defeated WORK IN PROGRESS in a exciting 1 minute bout.
MANUTE BOL overpowered ALOHA ALICE in a popular 1 minute bloody one-sided bout.
MEN WORKING viciously subdued CAPTURED CUTPURSE in a popular 3 minute gory contest.
BEACH BETTY lost to BOOKIE'S GUARD in a popular 1 minute gruesome match.
TALLAHASSE TINA vanquished DEBBY TONTE in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
MIAMI MIA was demolished by BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       8         AIMED BLOW        85 -  38 -  1      69  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       51 -  24 -  1      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    41 -  35 -  2      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  13 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         STRIKING ATTACK    3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  15 -  0      25  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  30 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     3 -  22 -  0      12  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 509 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        6 -  1     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  4         4  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SUPER BUM 82-18411        113  50  2  496 FLAT BROKE (1184)
LUNGING ATTACK   HE HATE ME 18-7820        107  65  2  318 WASTELAND (468)
AIMED BLOW       STUPID SEXY FLAND 42-3836  90  62  0  212 I'M SO SEXY (1072)
WALL OF STEEL    ??RADAR?? 82-20310         45  73  1  210 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             94  95  1  198 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   45 165  2  180 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          76  95  2  178 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   LAGUNA LIL 7-5681          28  71  0  166 BEACH BABES (1058)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.  The ten other most popular fighters were COOLER 
82-7277, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, LITTLEST TYRANT 82--9646, 
GATEWAY 82-15631, MEN WORKING 38-4189, ONE A DAY 98-799, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, 5 
GOT PICKED 41-4199, and RED FUSION 6-5480.

The least popular fighter this week was MIAMI MIA 7-4818.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, WORK IN PROGRESS 
38-4193, PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120, GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, HAILSTORM 7-5698, BEACH 
BETTY 7-5768, PTI 7-5412, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, and STASSIA 37-1523.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          1  2 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  4 0  
TRANSEL(6)           1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  7 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     2  0 0  
WILLAF(16)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  95  2  178  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           73  62  0  212  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480           92  65  0  202  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                 121  42  0  210  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     56  25  1  210  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         107  65  2  318  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  80  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    45 165  2  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        60  26  2  207  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  90  62  0  212  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    145  50  1  233  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         113  50  2  496  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            39  22  3  214  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 ONE A DAY 98-799           112  57  4  393  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL