DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 08/15/2009    Duedate: 08/28/2009

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-512

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3633 2630 14 58.0      NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197            
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                          2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  1974 1640 23 54.6
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          4-LETTER NAMES 82/1256                
    LOOK OUT! 16/1278                           HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                 
    MY DRUGS 98/1179                            KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1323             
    THE NEPHEW 82/1322                          REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    WASTELAND 18/468                            ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                   DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    WASTELAND II 7/500                        3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1183 1051  8 53.0
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    408  595  6 40.7
    I'M SO SEXY 42/1072                         UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                      5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1052 1888 17 35.8
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                       6 BEACH BABES 7/1058    414  782  4 34.6

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 629): MIASMA of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 512): KESTRATLAK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 635): FARFALE of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 630): FELISSA HURM of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 628): WHISPER WALK of MY LITTLE TRIBE (Little Whop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 634): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 623): DEIMOS of THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 620): DIRT BATH of GHOST RIDERS TOO (?, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 619): SALTY of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 591): SHERRY of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 583): GURU GNU of HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 563): COLLINGWOOD of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 567): CORRUPT TURNKEY of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 518): TELENIA of OMINOUS REIGN (Archaic Elf, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 249): NO-STICK TAPE of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 237): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 467): CAPTAIN SCOURGE of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 214): MYSTIQUE of BARBARIAN HORDE (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 511): SUPER BUM of FLAT BROKE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 629): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 512): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 635): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 630): WIZARD'S WRATH (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 628): MY LITTLE TRIBE (Little Whop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 634): AMEN! (?, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 623): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 620): SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 619): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 591): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 583): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 263): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 567): DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 518): OMINOUS REIGN (Archaic Elf, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 249): STREET-SOLDIERS (Darkface, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 237): ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 467): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 214): BARBARIAN HORDE (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 511) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 629): FAST FORWARD of TECHNOLOGY (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 633): EPEE MYSTIQUE of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 623): DEIMOS of THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 619): GALLOPING THOST of GHOST RIDERS TOO (?, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 617): ULLRICH BLADESONG of NOMADIC TRIBE (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 590): KYRA of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 583): GURU GNU of HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 249): NO-STICK TAPE of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
               (turn 248): RUBBER BULLET of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
                           A.O. HELL of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 466): FYRE SWORD of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hello, fellow denizens!

There is not much news today.  But such as it is, here you go:

In our title fight (refraining from challenging so as not to challenge down), Super
Bum was matched against the very tough Cooler.  SUPER BUM (82-18411) (115-50-2,515)
of FLAT BROKE fought COOLER (82-7277) (95-96-1,227) of STYROFOAM.  SUPER BUM
unbelievably bested COOLER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Title fight.  Nicely fought,
both of you.

Good aimed Blows are always interesting to watch, aren't they?  But it's not that
amusing to watch one beat up a blind beggar.  STUPID SEXY FLANDERS (42-3836) (92-62-
0,231) of I'M SO SEXY fought BLIND BEGGAR (104-26) (40-35-0,200) of NON-LPs.  STUPID
SEXY FLANDERS demolished BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 1 minute mismatched match.

And our eternal Overall Popularity Leader fought our top Parry Riposter today.  CRACK
IS CHEAP (82-18422) (74-88-0,220) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought WORK IN PROGRESS (38-
4193) (46-166-2,205) of JUST BECAUSE.  CRACK IS CHEAP outwaited WORK IN PROGRESS in a
popular 13 minute brutal bout.  I thought the crowd hated long defensive fights.  So
how come they love Mr. Cheap so much, huh?

According to the spectators, Rugen the Jellyfish is this turn's favorite warrior.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH (82-12478) (23-14-0,205) of HANNAH'S PALS fought THAT GUY (97-
2120) (39-24-3,187) of DIE, MOFO, DIE IV.  RUGEN THE JELLYFISH was unbelievably
bested by THAT GUY in a 9 minute duel.  Well... he sweats cute.

Thirty-four Lord Protectors fought today, in twenty-three fights.  This means:
Eleven of you were not listed on the popularity or unpopularity lists.  I don't know
why this matters to me, but it does.  Well done, you eleven!  Way to not be affected
by the whims of the masses.

Here's some progress.  Far from being this turn's least popular warrior, Miami Mia
did not even MAKE it onto the unpopularity list this turn.  MIAMI MIA (7-4818) (26-
76-3,40) of BEACH BABES fought DEBBY TONTE (104-2) (20-30-0,30) of NON-LPs.  MIAMI
MIA vanquished DEBBY TONTE in an action packed 1 minute brutal one-sided fray.  I
must say that was a good Debby Tonte lookalike but she probably fought better than
the real one.

Our top Basher is still Men Working.  SMELL CAREFULLY (18-8889) (41-76-2,209) of
STREET PIZZA fought MEN WORKING (38-4189) (47-165-1,168) of JUST BECAUSE.  SMELL
CAREFULLY devastated MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.

PTI (7-5412) (123-42-0,230) of WASTELAND II fought GREASY NAPKINS (82-10156) (35-43-
0,197) of REAL PIZZA FLAVOR.  PTI vanquished GREASY NAPKINS in a popular 2 minute
gory mismatched brawl.  PTI is our highest-ranked lunger.  Good going!

Oh -- Reddi Whip is our top Wall of Steel.  Stassia is a WaSte too... oh, am I not
supposed to say the style of someone who isn't on the stylemaster list?  She is,
though.  So I thought it would be a more interesting fight than it was.  REDDI WHIP
(97-1636) (73-30-9,209) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought STASSIA (37-1523) (62-82-2,180)
of UP TO NO GOOD.  REDDI WHIP overpowered STASSIA in a 2 minute bloody mismatched
fight.

That's all for now.  Enjoy the rest of your summer!

                                   Desiree (not my real name)

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         116  50  2  521  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LITTLEST TYRANT 82--9646    27   5  0  254  THE NEPHEW (1322)          DWES EG
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  93  62  0  245  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            86  33  1  243  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PTI 7-5412                 124  42  0  242  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 GATEWAY 82-15631            59  52  1  238  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     75  88  0  228  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     59  25  1  227  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         109  66  2  218  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 RED FUSION 6-5480           94  66  0  218  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          74  30  9  215  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     42  76  2  212  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COOLER 82-7277              95  97  1  210  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 HARV 82-20046               59  59  1  210  4-LETTER NAMES (1256)      DWES EG
 VISTA BLOWS 18-9258         55  32  1  210  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     35  44  0  209  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            40  24  3  207  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 78  65  4  205  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          46  75  1  205  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    146  52  1  201  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           75  63  0  198  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    46 167  2  198  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463      102  60  0  197  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  23  15  0  195  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        62  27  2  192  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  83  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          35  65  0  180  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  98  2  176  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 ONE A DAY 98-799           112  60  4  172  MY DRUGS (1179)            SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         47 166  1  166  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           28  74  0  145  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          35  61  0   73  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      29  88  0   63  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            27  76  3   48  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Hailstorm -- Huh, an ice-golem.  Just what I needed to make my day. -- Aloha Alice

Men Working -- Oh, you are not!  You just say that.  It's a joke is what it is. --
Laguna Lil

Why should the Bookie's Guard come after me?  I don't even bet, much less welsh. --
Beach Betty
P.S.  And that usage is an insult to the citizens of Wales.

Despite my best efforts--and my victory--the Drunken Fisherman was feeling no pain.
-- Tallahasse Tina

These darned bookies have guards everywhere, don't they?  Makes you wonder what
they're afraid of. -- Miamia Mia

Red Fusion -- Lucky, indeed.  We both know I am the better warrior.  If the sun
hadn't glinted in my eye just as I was shaking away a strand of hair, causing a
painful sunlight-splinter to get caught in my eyelashes, I would never have
misstepped and given you the opportunity to get in a lucky blow. -- Crysoprase

Etched in Stone -- I like a man with endurance.  However, in the arena I prefer a man
who goes down fast.  No wait--come to think of it, I ALWAYS prefer a man who... never
mind.  *blushing* -- Stassia

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SUPER BUM unbelievably bested COOLER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Title fight.
RED FUSION luckily beat ??RADAR?? in a exciting 8 minute gory melee.
PTI vanquished GREASY NAPKINS in a popular 2 minute gory mismatched brawl.
TASTY HANGNAIL was subdued by GATEWAY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute competition.
LITTLEST TYRANT vanquished BLIND BEGGAR in a exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.
HAILSTORM handily defeated SOLACIA in a 2 minute gruesome uneven fight.
PSYCHO GRANDMA! vanquished LOCAL CONSTABLE in a popular 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
VISTA BLOWS was vanquished by FERD THE TOWER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
CRACK IS CHEAP outwaited WORK IN PROGRESS in a popular 13 minute brutal bout.
5 GOT PICKED was demolished by BLIND BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
STUPID SEXY FLANDERS demolished BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 1 minute mismatched match.
ETCHED IN STONE was handily defeated by DIRK CHOLERA in a 3 minute one-sided conflict.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH was unbelievably bested by THAT GUY in a 9 minute duel.
SMELL CAREFULLY devastated MEN WORKING in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HE HATE ME overpowered ALOHA ALICE in a exciting 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
REDDI WHIP overpowered STASSIA in a 2 minute bloody mismatched fight.
ONE A DAY was viciously subdued by HARV in a popular 6 minute gruesome bout.
HEAT narrowly defeated BLIND BEGGAR in a action packed 3 minute bout.
MANUTE BOL vanquished CRYSOPRASE in a popular 1 minute brutal mismatched fray.
LAGUNA LIL was defeated by KHALHUMS DWARF in a action packed 3 minute brutal fight.
BEACH BETTY overpowered INKEEPER'S SON in a 2 minute gory one-sided duel.
TALLAHASSE TINA demolished DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
MIAMI MIA vanquished DEBBY TONTE in a action packed 1 minute brutal one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       9         AIMED BLOW        70 -  28 -  0      71  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       45 -  27 -  0      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    37 -  33 -  2      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         STRIKING ATTACK    2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -  25 -  0      31  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  15 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     4 -  18 -  0      18  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 512 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         6 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         3  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         3  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SUPER BUM 82-18411        116  50  2  521 FLAT BROKE (1184)
AIMED BLOW       STUPID SEXY FLAND 42-3836  93  62  0  245 I'M SO SEXY (1072)
LUNGING ATTACK   PTI 7-5412                124  42  0  242 WASTELAND II (500)
WALL OF STEEL    REDDI WHIP 97-1636         74  30  9  215 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277             95  97  1  210 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   46 167  2  198 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          76  98  2  176 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        47 166  1  166 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
??RADAR?? 82-20310, HARV 82-20046, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, COOLER 82-7277, THAT GUY 
97-2120, ONE A DAY 98-799, LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, PTI 7-5412, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, 
and HEAT 98-981.

The least popular fighter this week was MEN WORKING 38-4189.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CRYSOPRASE 1-3266, ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, 
VISTA BLOWS 18-9258, GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, STASSIA 
37-1523, TASTY HANGNAIL 7-5463, BEACH BETTY 7-5768, and MANUTE BOL 5-4233.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          2  1 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          5  4 0  
TRANSEL(6)           1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            5  3 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  1 0  
WILLAF(16)           1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           76  98  2  176  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           75  63  0  198  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RED FUSION 6-5480           94  66  0  218  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 HAILSTORM 7-5698            86  33  1  243  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 PSYCHO GRANDMA! 16-5120     59  25  1  227  LOOK OUT! (1278)           WILLAF
 HE HATE ME 18-7820         109  66  2  218  WASTELAND (468)            TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             62  83  2  180  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    46 167  2  198  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        62  27  2  192  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 STUPID SEXY FLANDE 42-3836  93  62  0  245  I'M SO SEXY (1072)         RODEKI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    146  52  1  201  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         116  50  2  521  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          74  30  9  215  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 78  65  4  205  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL