DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 01/02/2010    Duedate: 01/15/2010

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-522

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3718 2678 15 58.1      HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                 
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1323             
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                   REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    WASTELAND II 7/500                          DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1188 1056  8 52.9
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                      4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    414  609  6 40.5
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                         UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1056 1904 17 35.7
  2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  2014 1666 23 54.7    6 BEACH BABES 7/1058    427  819  4 34.3

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 639): BALL PEIN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 522): GROND of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 645): HELIAS SOL of ASTRAL KIN (Kid Arcane, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 616): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 640): KELLY of CASSEY'S CREW (Dartor, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 635): ACOLYTE 1 of GOLDEN DAWN (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 644): BLUEBURN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 628): CHAGAN of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 630): TAREK of LUROCIAN PRIDE (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 629): SARALEE JO of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 601): EVA MENDEZ of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 593): ZIG of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 268): XYOKOR YAHL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 577): DACIMOUSEL of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 528): GOB of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): MATEEN of SAI'FULLAH (?, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 242): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): SAND STORM of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 219): BAYLY of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 521): GATEWAY of ATTACK OF THE CLONES (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 639): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 522): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 645): IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 616): TRIBAL COUNCIL (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 640): BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 635): THE DIRECTORS (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 644): BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 628): Bacon Makin' (?, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 630): THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 629): SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 601): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 593): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 268): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 577): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 528): DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): STREET-SOLDIERS (Darkface, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 242): WHAT'S IN A NAME (?, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 219): KIWI CONNECTION 7 (The Mun, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 521) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 644): BLUEBURN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 601): EVA MENDEZ of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 267): WHAKAPAPA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 577): DACIMOUSEL of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
                           LAZY LOOKOUT of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 528): GOB of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
                 (turn 527): UP FROM THE SEA of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 241): STINGAREE of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 475): SALTY DOG of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 218): EAGLE KEYS of ANCIENT KNIGHTS (?, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Ladies and Gentlemen of Darkholm,

I never thought I would be saying this to you.  "Ladies and Gentlemen!"  This arena
represents the Delarquan Federation!  We're the scrappers, the troublemakers, the
black sheep of the Lord Protectors.  The backbone of Lady Greywand's army, the part
that never surrenders.  Why have you all turned into ladies and gentlemen!  How did
this catastrophe--

     At a small sound, Desiree looked up sharply.  The entity standing in the doorway
of her office was short, plump, and smelled faintly of cabbage.  Though she squinted,
she still wasn't able to get a clear look at his, or its, face.  She stood up,
frowning.  "What team do you manage?"
     "I am an Elkarrish," it said.  When it spoke, the blood pounded in her ears so
that she could barely hear it.  She felt ill.  "A messenger of Ahringol.  A guide--"
     "Yes, yes, I know what an elkarrish is."  She waved her hand impatiently.  "Why
are you here?  Are you on someone's team?"  Sinking down into her chair again, she
surreptitiously opened a desk drawer, slowly, slowly.  Inside was a small, loaded
crossbow.
     "Supernatural entities, servants of gods, do not join gladiatorial teams."
     She snorted derisively.  "Oh--you'd be surprised!  So why are you here, and why
do you look like that?"
     "I take the form of whatever you fear the most," said the Elkarrish.
     "Oh come on!  What I fear the most is that flesh-eating disease Dirk Cholera's
evil twin used on me one time."
     The Elkarrish held up its right hand, which was little more than a moldy-looking
skeleton.  Desiree shrank back in her chair, nostrils flared.  She thought, It's too
close to me!  I'm infected already!
     "...and your second greatest fear, of course, is a blind date with... someone
like this."  It waved its gruesome hand at its less-than-studly form.  "You are very
shallow, mortal."
     "So?"  Her hand closed on the crossbow.  "Why are you here, Elkarrish?"
     "I guide the dead to Ahringol's realm."
     "So I'm dead?  Why?  How did it happen?  And don't you know that Lady Greywand
has granted me her promise of resurrection?  She's done it twice so far.  She likes
me."
     "Even the Grey Wand has her limits.  I will allow you to finish what you are
writing," it said, inclining its head at the unfinished spy report.
     With a shaking hand, Desiree took up her quill, and dipped it in the in pot.

No one died in our arena this week.  Isn't that lovely!  No one challenged or
avoided, which is not so lovely.  However, everyone likes a year or two off every so
often.

I was pleased to see Gateway matched against a former Keeper of the Runeblade, Super
Bum.  And rather surprised at the result!  GATEWAY (82-15631) (66-54-1,334) of ATTACK
OF THE CLONES fought SUPER BUM (82-18411) (123-52-2,211) of FLAT BROKE.  GATEWAY
devastated SUPER BUM in an action packed 2 minute mismatched Title fight.

That, dear ladies and gentlemen, is all that we have time for.  So I must bid you
adieu for two weeks.  I expect, and hope, that I will see you again at that time.
Take care.

     Raising the crossbow, she pulled the trigger.

                              Desiree (not my real name)

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GATEWAY 82-15631            67  54  1  383  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  31  17  0  303  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          82  32  9  296  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 PTI 7-5412                 132  44  0  256  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     39  50  0  231  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          50  81  1  215  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COOLER 82-7277             100 102  1  210  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  84  2  210  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           83  65  0  209  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    151  57  1  205  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    50 173  2  204  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 THAT GUY 97-2120            46  28  3  204  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 RED FUSION 6-5480          101  69  0  202  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 HEAT 98-981                 84  69  4  200  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 STASSIA 37-1523             66  89  2  195  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     80  93  0  194  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         123  53  2  193  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 106  2  193  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        67  32  3  190  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         47 176  1  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          35  75  0  180  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           29  83  0  171  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      33  94  0  161  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DOT DOT DOT 18-9728         17  14  0   65  CENTER FOR OLDS (1169)     TALCAMA
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            30  83  3   27  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          40  66  0   26  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Crack Is Cheap -- As if. -- Aloha Alice

Manute Bol -- You'd make a more convincing Large Loser if you were larger and you
lost.  Work on that. -- Laguna Lil

Crysoprase -- Cats make me itch.  And werecats... eh.  Probably an offense against
nature, but that's magicians for you.  Never let well enough alone. -- Tallahasse
Tina

And two standbys.  Life is thrilling, we can barely stay awake. -- Beach Betty and
Miami Mia

Stassia -- Not blonde at all, and if I looked so to you, then you'd better get your
eyes checked. -- Laguna Lil

Gateway -- Ew!  A clone!  Do you have a belly button? -- Stassia

Tallahasse Tina -- I'm not a real werecat.  And you're not a real golem, I think.
Because I've never seen a bleach-blond golem before -- Crysoprase

     Hmm.  I don't think the following ads actually belong here, but they were sent
     to me, so... think of them as messages in bottles that have floated to our shore
     from far away. -- Desiree

     They belonged here, but they're very, very old.  Ah, yes, there's the date,
     March of 2007.  Amazing how long hal retains things. -- the Editor

The Impeccable Pig -- I have examined my stores of words and concepts and do not find
an acceptable congruence of the concept "impeccable" with that of "pig."  Therefore,
you are what I believe is called an "illusion."  Which is to say, not real. --
Calculator

Psycho Grandma! -- You're nuts, you do know that, don't you? -- Dune

A Drunken Fisherman?  I do not understand the value of this.  Why should this
fisherman be important to the gladiatorial system? -- Strategics

The Innkeeper's Son is a dear boy, I'm sure, but rather inclined to get "above
himself," as they say.  Really, the Innkeeper should give him an occasional smack,
just to demonstrate that, though loved, he is not going to be allowed to get out of
hand. -- Old Maid

Black Widow -- Are you a fool?  Because if not, you can't have anything to do with
me.  It's in the rules. -- Fool's Mate

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GATEWAY devastated SUPER BUM in a action packed 2 minute mismatched Title fight.
PTI overcame SMELL CAREFULLY in a popular 1 minute match.
THAT GUY was vanquished by REDDI WHIP in a popular 2 minute gory mismatched brawl.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH savagely defeated HEAT in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition.
5 GOT PICKED was overpowered by GREASY NAPKINS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
ETCHED IN STONE overpowered MEN WORKING in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
WORK IN PROGRESS viciously subdued CRACK IS CHEAP in a popular 5 minute gruesome duel.
CRYSOPRASE was unbelievably bested by RED FUSION in a popular 7 minute brutal fight.
??RADAR?? handily defeated LAGUNA LIL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
STASSIA narrowly defeated LAUGHING BARMAID in a 2 minute competition.
COOLER handily defeated TALLAHASSE TINA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
MANUTE BOL devastated ALOHA ALICE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory mismatched bout.
MIAMI MIA lost to DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
BEACH BETTY was vanquished by DEBBY TONTE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         AIMED BLOW        42 -  20 -  1      68  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         LUNGING ATTACK    40 -  26 -  0      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  19 -  0      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         TOTAL PARRY       31 -  30 -  0      51  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  15 -  0      25  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK     1 -  19 -  0       5  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         STRIKING ATTACK    0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 522 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   GATEWAY 82-15631           67  54  1  383 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254)
WALL OF STEEL    REDDI WHIP 97-1636         82  32  9  296 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277            100 102  1  210 STYROFOAM (1090)
AIMED BLOW       MANUTE BOL 5-4233          83  65  0  209 LARGE LOSERS (1228)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112   151  57  1  205 CEMENTIA (1112)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   50 173  2  204 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          78 106  2  193 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        47 176  1  180 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.  The ten other most popular fighters were WORK IN 
PROGRESS 38-4193, RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478, REDDI WHIP 97-1636, GATEWAY 82-15631, 
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, RED FUSION 6-5480, MANUTE BOL 5-4233, HEAT 98-981, STASSIA 
37-1523, and PTI 7-5412.

The least popular fighter this week was BEACH BETTY 7-5768.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, 
5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, MEN WORKING 38-4189, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, SUPER BUM 
82-18411, MIAMI MIA 7-4818, COOLER 82-7277, and ??RADAR?? 82-20310.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  DWES EG(82)          5  2 0  
TRANSEL(6)           1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  5 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 106  2  193  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           83  65  0  209  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480          101  69  0  202  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                 132  44  0  256  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  84  2  210  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             66  89  2  195  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    50 173  2  204  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        67  32  3  190  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    151  57  1  205  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GATEWAY 82-15631            67  54  1  383  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          82  32  9  296  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 84  69  4  200  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL