DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL Date : 01/02/2010 Duedate: 01/15/2010 DARKHOLM DM-104 TURN-522 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 072905R 41/1273 3718 2678 15 58.1 HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270 FLAT BROKE 82/1184 KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1323 CEMENTIA 61/1112 ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293 REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286 WASTELAND II 7/500 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 IT'S NEW! 6/1195 3 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1188 1056 8 52.9 WHAT A TREAT 98/1201 4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281 414 609 6 40.5 LARGE LOSERS 5/1228 UP TO NO GOOD 37/316 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197 5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1056 1904 17 35.7 2 STREET PIZZA 18/114 2014 1666 23 54.7 6 BEACH BABES 7/1058 427 819 4 34.3 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 639): BALL PEIN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 522): GROND of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 645): HELIAS SOL of ASTRAL KIN (Kid Arcane, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 616): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 640): KELLY of CASSEY'S CREW (Dartor, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 635): ACOLYTE 1 of GOLDEN DAWN (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 644): BLUEBURN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 628): CHAGAN of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 630): TAREK of LUROCIAN PRIDE (The Greek Guy, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 629): SARALEE JO of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 601): EVA MENDEZ of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 593): ZIG of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 268): XYOKOR YAHL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 577): DACIMOUSEL of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 528): GOB of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 253): MATEEN of SAI'FULLAH (?, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 242): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): SAND STORM of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 219): BAYLY of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 521): GATEWAY of ATTACK OF THE CLONES (The Upright Man, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 639): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 522): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 645): IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 616): TRIBAL COUNCIL (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 640): BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 635): THE DIRECTORS (?, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 644): BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 628): Bacon Makin' (?, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 630): THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 629): SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 601): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 593): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 268): POSITION IS EMPTY DM 42 RODEKI (turn 577): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 528): DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 253): STREET-SOLDIERS (Darkface, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 242): WHAT'S IN A NAME (?, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 219): KIWI CONNECTION 7 (The Mun, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 521) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.) Recent Graduates ----------------- DM 7 BONSUR (turn 644): BLUEBURN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 601): EVA MENDEZ of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 267): WHAKAPAPA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 577): DACIMOUSEL of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.) LAZY LOOKOUT of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 528): GOB of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.) (turn 527): UP FROM THE SEA of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 241): STINGAREE of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 475): SALTY DOG of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 218): EAGLE KEYS of ANCIENT KNIGHTS (?, mgr.) REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Ladies and Gentlemen of Darkholm, I never thought I would be saying this to you. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" This arena represents the Delarquan Federation! We're the scrappers, the troublemakers, the black sheep of the Lord Protectors. The backbone of Lady Greywand's army, the part that never surrenders. Why have you all turned into ladies and gentlemen! How did this catastrophe-- At a small sound, Desiree looked up sharply. The entity standing in the doorway of her office was short, plump, and smelled faintly of cabbage. Though she squinted, she still wasn't able to get a clear look at his, or its, face. She stood up, frowning. "What team do you manage?" "I am an Elkarrish," it said. When it spoke, the blood pounded in her ears so that she could barely hear it. She felt ill. "A messenger of Ahringol. A guide--" "Yes, yes, I know what an elkarrish is." She waved her hand impatiently. "Why are you here? Are you on someone's team?" Sinking down into her chair again, she surreptitiously opened a desk drawer, slowly, slowly. Inside was a small, loaded crossbow. "Supernatural entities, servants of gods, do not join gladiatorial teams." She snorted derisively. "Oh--you'd be surprised! So why are you here, and why do you look like that?" "I take the form of whatever you fear the most," said the Elkarrish. "Oh come on! What I fear the most is that flesh-eating disease Dirk Cholera's evil twin used on me one time." The Elkarrish held up its right hand, which was little more than a moldy-looking skeleton. Desiree shrank back in her chair, nostrils flared. She thought, It's too close to me! I'm infected already! "...and your second greatest fear, of course, is a blind date with... someone like this." It waved its gruesome hand at its less-than-studly form. "You are very shallow, mortal." "So?" Her hand closed on the crossbow. "Why are you here, Elkarrish?" "I guide the dead to Ahringol's realm." "So I'm dead? Why? How did it happen? And don't you know that Lady Greywand has granted me her promise of resurrection? She's done it twice so far. She likes me." "Even the Grey Wand has her limits. I will allow you to finish what you are writing," it said, inclining its head at the unfinished spy report. With a shaking hand, Desiree took up her quill, and dipped it in the in pot. No one died in our arena this week. Isn't that lovely! No one challenged or avoided, which is not so lovely. However, everyone likes a year or two off every so often. I was pleased to see Gateway matched against a former Keeper of the Runeblade, Super Bum. And rather surprised at the result! GATEWAY (82-15631) (66-54-1,334) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES fought SUPER BUM (82-18411) (123-52-2,211) of FLAT BROKE. GATEWAY devastated SUPER BUM in an action packed 2 minute mismatched Title fight. That, dear ladies and gentlemen, is all that we have time for. So I must bid you adieu for two weeks. I expect, and hope, that I will see you again at that time. Take care. Raising the crossbow, she pulled the trigger. Desiree (not my real name) KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY GATEWAY 82-15631 67 54 1 383 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478 31 17 0 303 HANNAH'S PALS (1270) DWES EG REDDI WHIP 97-1636 82 32 9 296 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323) SHADOW GROVE PTI 7-5412 132 44 0 256 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156 39 50 0 231 REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286) DWES EG ??RADAR?? 82-20310 50 81 1 215 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY COOLER 82-7277 100 102 1 210 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 44 84 2 210 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA MANUTE BOL 5-4233 83 65 0 209 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 151 57 1 205 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 50 173 2 204 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME THAT GUY 97-2120 46 28 3 204 DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293) SHADOW GROVE RED FUSION 6-5480 101 69 0 202 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL HEAT 98-981 84 69 4 200 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL STASSIA 37-1523 66 89 2 195 UP TO NO GOOD (316) SIBIKHAS CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 80 93 0 194 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG SUPER BUM 82-18411 123 53 2 193 FLAT BROKE (1184) DWES EG CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 78 106 2 193 ILLFANG PACT (281) MORDANT 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 67 32 3 190 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY MEN WORKING 38-4189 47 176 1 180 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME ALOHA ALICE 7-4867 35 75 0 180 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR LAGUNA LIL 7-5681 29 83 0 171 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889 33 94 0 161 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -DOT DOT DOT 18-9728 17 14 0 65 CENTER FOR OLDS (1169) TALCAMA MIAMI MIA 7-4818 30 83 3 27 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR BEACH BETTY 7-5768 40 66 0 26 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Crack Is Cheap -- As if. -- Aloha Alice Manute Bol -- You'd make a more convincing Large Loser if you were larger and you lost. Work on that. -- Laguna Lil Crysoprase -- Cats make me itch. And werecats... eh. Probably an offense against nature, but that's magicians for you. Never let well enough alone. -- Tallahasse Tina And two standbys. Life is thrilling, we can barely stay awake. -- Beach Betty and Miami Mia Stassia -- Not blonde at all, and if I looked so to you, then you'd better get your eyes checked. -- Laguna Lil Gateway -- Ew! A clone! Do you have a belly button? -- Stassia Tallahasse Tina -- I'm not a real werecat. And you're not a real golem, I think. Because I've never seen a bleach-blond golem before -- Crysoprase Hmm. I don't think the following ads actually belong here, but they were sent to me, so... think of them as messages in bottles that have floated to our shore from far away. -- Desiree They belonged here, but they're very, very old. Ah, yes, there's the date, March of 2007. Amazing how long hal retains things. -- the Editor The Impeccable Pig -- I have examined my stores of words and concepts and do not find an acceptable congruence of the concept "impeccable" with that of "pig." Therefore, you are what I believe is called an "illusion." Which is to say, not real. -- Calculator Psycho Grandma! -- You're nuts, you do know that, don't you? -- Dune A Drunken Fisherman? I do not understand the value of this. Why should this fisherman be important to the gladiatorial system? -- Strategics The Innkeeper's Son is a dear boy, I'm sure, but rather inclined to get "above himself," as they say. Really, the Innkeeper should give him an occasional smack, just to demonstrate that, though loved, he is not going to be allowed to get out of hand. -- Old Maid Black Widow -- Are you a fool? Because if not, you can't have anything to do with me. It's in the rules. -- Fool's Mate LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS GATEWAY devastated SUPER BUM in a action packed 2 minute mismatched Title fight. PTI overcame SMELL CAREFULLY in a popular 1 minute match. THAT GUY was vanquished by REDDI WHIP in a popular 2 minute gory mismatched brawl. RUGEN THE JELLYFISH savagely defeated HEAT in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition. 5 GOT PICKED was overpowered by GREASY NAPKINS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. ETCHED IN STONE overpowered MEN WORKING in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee. WORK IN PROGRESS viciously subdued CRACK IS CHEAP in a popular 5 minute gruesome duel. CRYSOPRASE was unbelievably bested by RED FUSION in a popular 7 minute brutal fight. ??RADAR?? handily defeated LAGUNA LIL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout. STASSIA narrowly defeated LAUGHING BARMAID in a 2 minute competition. COOLER handily defeated TALLAHASSE TINA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest. MANUTE BOL devastated ALOHA ALICE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory mismatched bout. MIAMI MIA lost to DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout. BEACH BETTY was vanquished by DEBBY TONTE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 6 AIMED BLOW 42 - 20 - 1 68 | |TOTAL PARRY 6 LUNGING ATTACK 40 - 26 - 0 61 | |WALL OF STEEL 4 WALL OF STEEL 21 - 19 - 0 53 | |AIMED BLOW 2 TOTAL PARRY 31 - 30 - 0 51 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 5 - 0 50 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 8 - 12 - 0 40 | |BASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-STRIKE 5 - 15 - 0 25 | |SLASHING ATTACK 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 19 - 0 5 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |STRIKING ATTACK 0 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 522 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 4 5 LUNGING ATTACK WALL OF STEEL 3 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 2 WALL OF STEEL LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 2 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 1 - 1 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 AIMED BLOW PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 2 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK GATEWAY 82-15631 67 54 1 383 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254) WALL OF STEEL REDDI WHIP 97-1636 82 32 9 296 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323) SLASHING ATTACK COOLER 82-7277 100 102 1 210 STYROFOAM (1090) AIMED BLOW MANUTE BOL 5-4233 83 65 0 209 LARGE LOSERS (1228) TOTAL PARRY ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 151 57 1 205 CEMENTIA (1112) PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 50 173 2 204 JUST BECAUSE (1151) PARRY-STRIKE CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 78 106 2 193 ILLFANG PACT (281) BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 47 176 1 180 JUST BECAUSE (1151) The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior this turn was CRYSOPRASE 1-3266. The ten other most popular fighters were WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478, REDDI WHIP 97-1636, GATEWAY 82-15631, CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, RED FUSION 6-5480, MANUTE BOL 5-4233, HEAT 98-981, STASSIA 37-1523, and PTI 7-5412. The least popular fighter this week was BEACH BETTY 7-5768. The other ten least popular fighters were ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199, MEN WORKING 38-4189, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, SUPER BUM 82-18411, MIAMI MIA 7-4818, COOLER 82-7277, and ??RADAR?? 82-20310. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K MORDANT(1) 0 1 0 TALCAMA(18) 0 1 0 JURINE(61) 1 0 0 KALTOS(5) 1 0 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 5 2 0 TRANSEL(6) 1 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0 BONSUR(7) 1 5 0 KATI-TEI(41) 0 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 0 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 78 106 2 193 ILLFANG PACT (281) MORDANT MANUTE BOL 5-4233 83 65 0 209 LARGE LOSERS (1228) KALTOS RED FUSION 6-5480 101 69 0 202 IT'S NEW! (1195) TRANSEL PTI 7-5412 132 44 0 256 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 44 84 2 210 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA STASSIA 37-1523 66 89 2 195 UP TO NO GOOD (316) SIBIKHAS WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 50 173 2 204 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199 67 32 3 190 072905R (1273) KATI-TEI ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112 151 57 1 205 CEMENTIA (1112) JURINE TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY GATEWAY 82-15631 67 54 1 383 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG REDDI WHIP 97-1636 82 32 9 296 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323) SHADOW GROVE HEAT 98-981 84 69 4 200 WHAT A TREAT (1201) SYVYN'S HILL