DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 01/30/2010    Duedate: 02/12/2010

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-524

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3731 2683 16 58.2      KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1323             
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                   DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    WASTELAND II 7/500                        3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1189 1057  8 52.9
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          4 INDULGENT DR 54/1153   84  102  2 45.2
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074              
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                       5 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    416  611  6 40.5
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
  2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  2020 1672 23 54.7    6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1057 1907 17 35.7
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                     7 BEACH BABES 7/1058    429  827  5 34.2

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

       + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Report from the Tourney #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Larkin here once again, with more interviews from the tourney.  This time I'm
talking to a new manager, so new he doesn't even have a manager name.  "Sir... what
would you like me to call you, by the way?"
     "Why do you have to call me anything?  I don't understand why you want to
interview me.  There are lots of great managers here who could probably tell you
stuff--"
     "I'm looking for a new perspective, the point of view of someone who is just
starting out with the gladiatorial games."
     "Oh.  Well, I guess that would be me."
     "Absolutely right!  Tell me, what do you think of the tourney?  This is your
first, right?"
     "Right, my first," the young man agreed.  "And it's GREAT!  Everyone is just
great here!  I mean, most of these managers, they're, like, legends, you know?
Everybody's heard of them, and they have stables of HUNDREDS of gladiators, and
they've been polishing their tricks for YEARS, and I didn't figure I had much of a
chance, you know?"
     "The popular view is that no matter how much you know, the arena can always
throw a surprise at you--"
     "Yeah, yeah, I've heard that.  I don't know if I believe it, but I've heard it.
But that isn't the best thing about this tourney.  The best thing is that everyone
here has been GREAT.  Or else I didn't meet them--the ones that might not have been.
But I think I met just about everyone, and--"
     "And they were great.  I'm glad.  But perhaps you could tell our readers a
little more, maybe tell them how these experienced managers were great to you?"
     "Well, yeah, okay.  It's that everyone was so friendly and helpful, see?  The
ENTIRE Consortium talked to me about warrior design, for instance.  I learned a lot
there.  And, well, there was Mannequin, and The Greek Guy, and I actually met
Manager, too!  And they were all really helpful.  Advice, you know, and charts, and
all that stuff that was so confusing.  It was just the best experience!  I'm going to
do it again, for sure!"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 641): BALL PEIN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 524): GOLDINA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 647): VIRTUAL REALITY of STATE OF MIND (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 618): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 642): CREDIT CARD of BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 637): RIDLEY SCOTT of THE DIRECTORS (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 646): SALTILLA of BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 630): CHAGAN of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 632): GRUMPY GHOUL of THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 631): SARALEE JO of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 603): EDDIE INCHER of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 595): ZIG of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 269): MATT RICIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 579): ALMOST PRETTY of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 530): CARGO of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): MATEEN of SAI'FULLAH (?, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 243): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): SAND STORM of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 220): ROOT of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 523): PTI of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 641): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 524): 042909A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 647): IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 618): TRIBAL COUNCIL (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 642): BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 637): THE DIRECTORS (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 646): SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 630): VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 632): SKI-BUM 18 (Ski-Bum, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 631): BEN'S BAZAAR (Gentleben, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 603): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 595): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 269): THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 579): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 530): DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): STREET-SOLDIERS (Darkface, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 243): WHAT'S IN A NAME (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 476): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 220): KIWI CONNECTION 7 (The Mun, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 523) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 524): GOLDINA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 646): HELIAS SOL of ASTRAL KIN (Kid Arcane, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 646): PALMETTA PATTY of BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
                           BARRIO of WORDS THAT END IN 0 (Otis?, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 632): TAREK of LUROCIAN PRIDE (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 631): SARALEE JO of SWORD OPERA (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 579): ALMOST PRETTY of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 528): GOB of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 475): SALTY DOG of DEATH MOB (Jakari, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

There you are again!

     I turn into the most frightening things you can imagine, and still you keep
coming back!  With popcorn!  It's unnatural.  But then, it IS the Isle of the Eye.
Nature isn't welcome here.
     With bittersweet regret I observe that there were two deaths, this fortnight.
Well, two in the arena.  A few others in the Willow Beach area.  People dying of
fright, you know.
     In what you are pleased to call a Title fight, Miami Mia slew a drunken
fisherman.  Well done!  Public drunkenness is one of those counter-survival traits,
is it not?  So he was, as you mortals say, asking for it.  MIAMI MIA (7-4818) (30-84-
3,20) of BEACH BABES fought DRUNKEN FISHERMAN (104-1) (20-20-0,50) of ARENA STAND-
INS.  MIAMI MIA easily killed DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a 1 minute mismatched Title bout.
I have a note here that says Miami Mia is the arena champion at mixing drinks with
umbrellas in them.  We have those in the underworld, as well.  I shall have to pay
that woman a visit.
     I can, of course, pronounce PTI, since my own name, Kthlahxoy, is far more
difficult.  Of course this is to accomodate those people who most greatly fear
unpronounceable names.  PTI is a name you spit.  And he did.  PTI (7-5412) (133-44-
0,271) of WASTELAND II fought COOLER (82-7277) (101-102-1,218) of STYROFOAM.  PTI
delivered the death blow upon COOLER in a 2 minute insignificant fight.  Everyone
knows that being cooler is a good indicator of deadness, so this seems appropriate,
as well.
     Unfortunately, neither of them stayed dead.  I have been informed that elsewhere
on this terrible island, someone is in the habit of giving "deathday gifts" when a
warrior dies in an arena.  It's not that there's anything WRONG with a deathday gift,
as such.  It's just that it should be buried with the recipient.  The recipient is
not supposed to use and enjoy it!
     *sigh*  We missed a great opportunity.  Apparently a seer warned Zontani Sharp
Eyes that if exactly six died in the arena this time, the entire city would perish!
What a great day that would have been!  I could have gone home in glory leading
hundreds of souls!  All of you--try harder to kill someone next time.

                                  ****************

     A muffled titter interrupted its concentration.  Laying down its pen, Kthlahxoy
glared at the open doorway of the office.  --{Mortals!  Flee, lest I inflict the
Laughing Death upon thee!}--  It pointed a finger, and was disconcerted to see its
bony hand clad in a baggy white glove.  The hand led to an arm in a blousy yellow
sleeve with blue polka-dots on it.  --{And I hereby forbid anyone afflicted with
clown-o-phobia from setting foot in this tower!}--  The Elkarrish stood, realized
that one side of its posterior was grotesquely swollen, and added, --{And being
afraid of getting bitten by a poisonous snake when you sit on the toilet is just
silly!  Stop that!}--
     Limping, as well as shuffling in its size 30 shoes, the guide of the dead
hurried out of the office in pursuit of a group of retreating warriors.

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PTI 7-5412                 134  44  1  379  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          84  32  9  385  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  33  17  0  335  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           85  65  0  224  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 GATEWAY 82-15631            68  55  1  220  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            48  28  3  216  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        69  32  3  213  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 COOLER 82-7277             101 103  1  210  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STASSIA 37-1523             68  89  2  209  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 HEAT 98-981                 86  69  4  208  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    51 174  2  206  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     40  51  0  206  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    151  59  1  204  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         125  53  2  203  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          46  30  1  201  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 RED FUSION 6-5480          101  71  0  200  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 108  2  198  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  86  2  198  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          50  83  1  195  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     81  94  0  190  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         47 178  1  180  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      33  96  0  178  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          35  77  0  171  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    34  24  3  170  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           29  85  0  170  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 B.A. TURRY 39-3383          25  30  2  158  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        37  33  0  148  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            31  84  4   66  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          41  67  0   38  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
DRUNKEN FISHERMAN         20  20  0                        MIAMI MIA 7-4818          524
COOLER 82-7277           101 103  1 STYROFOAM 1090         PTI 7-5412                524

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Cooler -- Yes, but the forecasters always say that this time of year.  -- Aloha Alice

Super Bum -- Remind me never to offer you dinner; I know a bottomless pit when I see
one. -- Tallahasse Tina

Manute Bol -- I wish you lived up to your team name. -- Laguna Lil

Darned standbys. -- Miami Mia

Yeah! -- Beach Betty

Heat -- You are not supposed to win seven-minute fights.  I think you were mis-
advertised. -- Crysoprase

Smell Carefully -- I hate to say it, but... that was a good fight.  The bookies were
upset because it was closer than it was supposed to be... but it was kinda fun. --
Stassia

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PTI delivered the death blow upon COOLER in a 2 minute Title fight.
MANUTE BOL devastated ??RADAR?? in a action packed 1 minute one-sided duel.
THAT GUY subdued SMELL CAREFULLY in a action packed 4 minute fight.
REDDI WHIP devastated ETCHED IN STONE in a popular 3 minute brutal one-sided contest.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH viciously subdued RED FUSION in a action packed 4 minute brawl.
5 GOT PICKED devastated CRYSOPRASE in a 2 minute mismatched match.
ROB A. REE handily defeated TALLAHASSE TINA in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
GREASY NAPKINS vanquished LAGUNA LIL in a 1 minute uneven duel.
WORK IN PROGRESS overpowered ALOHA ALICE in a popular 2 minute gory uneven duel.
GATEWAY overpowered CRACK IS CHEAP in a 2 minute gory one-sided melee.
SUPER BUM demolished LOCAL CONSTABLE in a 2 minute mismatched match.
STASSIA viciously subdued SEX ON THE BEACH in a exciting 2 minute brutal contest.
HEAT bested MEN WORKING in a 2 minute bout.
ARSONIST ART handily defeated OLD SAILMAKER in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.
B.A. TURRY vanquished ANGRY BOOKIE in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
MIAMI MIA easily killed DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BEACH BETTY devastated DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        33 -  15 -  1      69  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  23 -  1      65  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         WALL OF STEEL     23 -  18 -  0      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         TOTAL PARRY       32 -  29 -  0      52  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  13 -  0      35  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  16 -  1      20  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK     1 -  19 -  0       5  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         STRIKING ATTACK    0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 524 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   PTI 7-5412                134  44  1  379 WASTELAND II (500)
WALL OF STEEL    REDDI WHIP 97-1636         84  32  9  385 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)
AIMED BLOW       MANUTE BOL 5-4233          85  65  0  224 LARGE LOSERS (1228)
TOTAL PARRY      THAT GUY 97-2120           48  28  3  216 DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277            101 103  1  210 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   51 174  2  206 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          78 108  2  198 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        47 178  1  180 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, REDDI WHIP 97-1636, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, STASSIA 
37-1523, PTI 7-5412, THAT GUY 97-2120, ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112, RED FUSION 6-5480, 5 
GOT PICKED 41-4199, and ROB A. REE 39-3241.

The least popular fighter this week was LAGUNA LIL 7-5681.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, ARSONIST ART 
39-3325, ALOHA ALICE 7-4867, GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, BEACH BETTY 
7-5768, MIAMI MIA 7-4818, B.A. TURRY 39-3383, and CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          4  3 0  
TRANSEL(6)           0  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       3  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            3  3 2  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 108  2  198  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           85  65  0  224  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480          101  71  0  200  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                 134  44  1  379  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  86  2  198  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             68  89  2  209  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    51 174  2  206  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          46  30  1  201  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        69  32  3  213  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    34  24  3  170  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    151  59  1  204  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  33  17  0  335  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          84  32  9  385  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 86  69  4  208  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL