DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 02/27/2010    Duedate: 03/12/2010

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-526

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 072905R 41/1273      3740 2692 16 58.1      KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1323             
    FLAT BROKE 82/1184                          ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254          
    CEMENTIA 61/1112                            REAL PIZZA FLAVOR 82/1286             
    DIE, MOFO, DIE IV 97/1293                   DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258           
    WASTELAND II 7/500                        3 STYROFOAM 82/1090    1191 1057  8 53.0
    IT'S NEW! 6/1195                          4 INDULGENT DR 54/1153   90  104  2 46.4
    WHAT A TREAT 98/1201                        CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074              
    LARGE LOSERS 5/1228                       5 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    417  614  6 40.4
    NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197                  UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
  2 STREET PIZZA 18/114  2029 1675 23 54.8    6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1058 1910 17 35.6
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                     7 BEACH BABES 7/1058    433  833  5 34.2

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 643): BLACK of FULL SPECTRUM (Jester?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 526): GROND of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 649): VIRTUAL REALITY of STATE OF MIND (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 620): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 644): CREDIT CARD of BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 639): ACOLYTE 1 of GOLDEN DAWN (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 648): LITTLE VENUS of BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 632): CHAGAN of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 634): PLANKTON of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 633): FLY FISHER of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 605): EDDIE INCHER of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 596): ZAG of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 270): MANN SLAUGHTER of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 581): BIG DISAPPOINTMENT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 532): SHOGGOTH of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): MATEEN of SAI'FULLAH (?, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 244): I'M A BASHER of BASHAHOLICS ANON (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 478): SAND STORM of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 221): TORANS ULRIK of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 525): GATEWAY of ATTACK OF THE CLONES (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 643): LAB EXPERIMENTS (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 526): 042909A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 649): IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 620): DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 644): BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 639): GOLDEN DAWN (Chief Illiniwek, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 648): BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 632): VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 634): GHOST RIDERS TOO (Bladerunner, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 633): FIZBANS FOLLIES (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 605): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 597): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 270): IDLE ITEMS (Tonezy, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 581): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 532): QUESTIONS (?, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 253): STREET-SOLDIERS (Darkface, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 244): WHAT'S IN A NAME (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 478): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 221): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 525) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 642): BALL PEIN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 526): GULBY of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 525): BUBBA BENDER of PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (Gavin Rule, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 633): GRUMPY GHOUL of THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 633): FLY FISHER of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 596): ZIG of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
                              BERTHA of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 581): STONECRUSHER II of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

There you are again.

     Gladiators come into the arena and practice every day.  But it seems that every
fourteen days or so, a good many extra people come and watch them.  This is
pointless, is it not?  They are not going to die, not really.  If they did, I would
escort them to Ahringol's realm and enjoy an opportunity to visit others of my kind.
Instead, I am stranded in this vile place where the sun shines almost daily.  Is this
island not in the middle of the Lake of Mists?  Shouldn't it be foggy here?
     At least I am no longer wearing the form of a mime.  Thank you, Fizban.  Your
powerful dread of billy goats has allowed me to take a more dignified shape.  The
cloven hoof even allows me to wield a pen.  However, I cannot write small, so this
will perforce be a brief report.

     No one even PRETENDED to die in this round of fights, for which I excoriate
anyone who takes responsibility.

     There were, I note, four challenges.  It is well.  Challenging someone to a
fight is the next best thing to trying to kill them.  Progress is being made.  These
were made by the warriors of the goat-fearing Fizban, whose record for this day's
work is 2-2.

* ROB A. REE (39-3241) (47-30-1,209) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged COOLER (82-7277)
(102-103-1,216) of STYROFOAM.  ROB A. REE was devastated by COOLER in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge fight.

*  B.A. TURRY (39-3383) (26-30-2,174) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged LAGUNA LIL (7-
5681) (29-86-0,180) of BEACH BABES.  B.A. TURRY subdued LAGUNA LIL in an exciting 1
minute Challenge melee.

*  ARSONIST ART (39-3325) (38-33-0,168) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT challenged MEN WORKING
(38-4189) (47-179-1,173) of JUST BECAUSE.  ARSONIST ART was defeated by MEN WORKING
in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge duel.

*  SEX ON THE BEACH (54-2435) (35-24-3,180) of INDULGENT DRINKS challenged CRYSOPRASE
(1-3266) (78-109-2,194) of ILLFANG PACT.  SEX ON THE BEACH narrowly defeated
CRYSOPRASE in an exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.

     Title... a clerk said I should mention the title.  "Darkholm Sporting Journal,"
isn't it?  Oh!  Evidently there is some sort of title associated with one of the
better warriors here.  That would be Gateway.  GATEWAY (82-15631) (69-55-1,278) of
ATTACK OF THE CLONES fought STASSIA (37-1523) (69-89-2,214) of UP TO NO GOOD.
GATEWAY devastated STASSIA in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven Title brawl.  I note
that Gateway is the most highly ranked Lunger currently active here.  I suppose a
"well done" may be in order.

     Perhaps it is because I am very unfamiliar with the obscure forces at work in
the fights that are held here, but... this one seems strange to me.  RUGEN THE
JELLYFISH (82-12478) (34-17-0,353) of HANNAH'S PALS fought SUPER BUM (82-18411) (126-
53-2,210) of FLAT BROKE.  RUGEN THE JELLYFISH viciously subdued SUPER BUM in an
action packed 9 minute duel.  Why is that much younger warrior so very much more
highly rated than the other one who is, to all experiences, extremely good at what he
does?  I was told that Super Bum was a man to watch.  Indeed, I did watch him for a
while but I did not see him do anything entertaining.

     I have been handed (or hooved) a note containing a very disturbing threat!
"Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, I,
Novgorodny Vir, return once again!"  This is outrageous!  I will pay... hmm... three
bottles of ink to anyone who brings me the head to this ruthless purveyor of
sunlight!

     Hmm.  I have a powerful urge to taste the various items on this desk.  Paper.
Quills.  Ink.  Note to self:  I must not eat this report.

Kthlahxoy

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GATEWAY 82-15631            70  55  1  289  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          86  32  9  431  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  35  17  0  398  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 COOLER 82-7277             103 103  1  236  STYROFOAM (1090)           DWES EG
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    153  59  1  223  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156     41  52  0  222  REAL PIZZA FLAVOR (1286)   DWES EG
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           86  66  0  217  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEAT 98-981                 87  70  4  210  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          52  83  1  210  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  88  2  210  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        70  33  3  205  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 SUPER BUM 82-18411         126  54  2  203  FLAT BROKE (1184)          DWES EG
 THAT GUY 97-2120            49  29  3  202  DIE, MOFO, DIE IV (1293)   SHADOW GROVE
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    51 176  2  201  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 PTI 7-5412                 135  45  1  198  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 RED FUSION 6-5480          102  72  0  195  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 STASSIA 37-1523             69  90  2  194  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    36  24  3  193  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          47  31  1  190  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422     81  96  0  188  NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197)  DWES EG
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 110  2  186  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         48 179  1  183  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 B.A. TURRY 39-3383          27  30  2  182  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ALOHA ALICE 7-4867          35  79  0  180  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889      33  98  0  176  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LAGUNA LIL 7-5681           29  87  0  172  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        38  34  0  164  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MIAMI MIA 7-4818            33  84  4   90  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR
 BEACH BETTY 7-5768          43  67  0   55  BEACH BABES (1058)         BONSUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Jorja -- How have you been you, lovely lady, you ready to give and old wizard a
chance yet.  <wink wink> -- Fizban the flirty

Work in Progress -- Progress is slow it seems. (he he he) -- Rob a Ree

Men Working -- That's the problem with men working, some woman always has to come
along and finish up for them.  Didnt hurt you too bad there did I, darlin'. -- Sex on
the Beach

Tallahasse Tina -- Woo hoo, that's how I like it, girl, a little rough from you and a
lot rough from me.  <grin> -- B.A. Turry

Aloha Alice -- Didn't mean to burn you down, sweetie, but you get me so hot. --
Arsonist Art

All -- 7-1-0 for my first 2 turns back in Darkholm!  Something is not right here; I'm
not that good.  I'm more of a 3-5-0 guy.  Come on, people, knock me down a peg or 2.
-- Fizban the baffled

     Your team appears to have gone 2-2 this turn. -- Kthlahxoy

B.A. Turry -- You could've stayed inactive, you know.  I wouldn't have minded. --
Tallahasse Tina

Arsonist Art -- What she means is, "What, another loss?  And to someone with so much
less experience?" -- Aloha Alice, feeling the same way but trying to be polite about
it

Red Fusion -- Oh, it is not new!  You've been here forever! -- Laguna Lil

And two wins over standbys.  We guess that's better than two losses to standbys. --
Beach Betty and Miami Mia
P.S.  When will Desiree be back?  We're tired of this clueless Thing.  Not but what
she was probably tired of this mostly silent arena, but still.

     Scantily clad women -- Ahringol, King of the Dead, has assured me that the
     former spyreporter is, and shall remain, dead.  I have heard that there is a
     lawyer disputing his ruling, but if that individual seems to be making headway,
     he will suffer an unfortunate accident. -- Kthlahxoy

Crack is Cheap -- Hey if you're famous, and I beat you, does that make me famous too?
-- Stassia

??Radar?? -- Thought I had a chance against you, but you're very good! -- Crysoprase

9 February 10
All -- I know you all thought the old Wiz that is Fiz went off to die somewhere.

Well, I didn't.  Now I'm back to befuddle and frustrate you with my senseless
ramblings.  I look forward to reconnecting with all my old friends and enemies alike.
-- Fizban the Famous

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ROB A. REE was devastated by COOLER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
B.A. TURRY subdued LAGUNA LIL in a exciting 1 minute Challenge melee.
ARSONIST ART was defeated by MEN WORKING in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge duel.
SEX ON THE BEACH narrowly defeated CRYSOPRASE in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
GATEWAY devastated STASSIA in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven Title brawl.
REDDI WHIP overpowered 5 GOT PICKED in a popular 1 minute gruesome mismatched brawl.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH viciously subdued SUPER BUM in a action packed 9 minute duel.
ETCHED IN STONE overpowered SMELL CAREFULLY in a 2 minute uneven duel.
GREASY NAPKINS savagely defeated RED FUSION in a exciting 5 minute gruesome fight.
CRACK IS CHEAP was savagely defeated by ??RADAR?? in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
WORK IN PROGRESS was bested by MANUTE BOL in a crowd pleasing 2 minute conflict.
THAT GUY subdued TALLAHASSE TINA in a crowd pleasing 4 minute match.
HEAT luckily beat BLIND BEGGAR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory conflict.
PTI vanquished ALOHA ALICE in a action packed 2 minute gruesome mismatched bout.
MIAMI MIA overpowered DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
BEACH BETTY overpowered DEBBY TONTE in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        24 -  10 -  0      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  22 -  1      68  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         WALL OF STEEL     28 -  15 -  0      65  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         TOTAL PARRY       30 -  33 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  14 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  15 -  1      25  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK     1 -  19 -  0       5  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         STRIKING ATTACK    0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 526 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  5         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   GATEWAY 82-15631           70  55  1  289 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254)
WALL OF STEEL    REDDI WHIP 97-1636         86  32  9  431 KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)
SLASHING ATTACK  COOLER 82-7277            103 103  1  236 STYROFOAM (1090)
TOTAL PARRY      ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112   153  59  1  223 CEMENTIA (1112)
AIMED BLOW       MANUTE BOL 5-4233          86  66  0  217 LARGE LOSERS (1228)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   51 176  2  201 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          78 110  2  186 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        48 179  1  183 JUST BECAUSE (1151)

The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
GREASY NAPKINS 82-10156, SUPER BUM 82-18411, PTI 7-5412, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, HEAT 
98-981, TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889, MEN WORKING 38-4189, RED FUSION 6-5480, MANUTE BOL 
5-4233, and SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435.

The least popular fighter this week was ALOHA ALICE 7-4867.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were STASSIA 37-1523, ROB A. REE 39-3241, ARSONIST ART 39-3325, 
LAGUNA LIL 7-5681, B.A. TURRY 39-3383, WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193, 5 GOT PICKED 
41-4199, GATEWAY 82-15631, THAT GUY 97-2120, and CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  JURINE(61)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          5  2 0  
TRANSEL(6)           0  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       1  2 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            3  3 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           78 110  2  186  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 MANUTE BOL 5-4233           86  66  0  217  LARGE LOSERS (1228)        KALTOS
 RED FUSION 6-5480          102  72  0  195  IT'S NEW! (1195)           TRANSEL
 PTI 7-5412                 135  45  1  198  WASTELAND II (500)         BONSUR
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     44  88  2  210  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 STASSIA 37-1523             69  90  2  194  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    51 176  2  201  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          47  31  1  190  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 5 GOT PICKED 41-4199        70  33  3  205  072905R (1273)             KATI-TEI
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    36  24  3  193  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 ETCHED IN STONE 61-3112    153  59  1  223  CEMENTIA (1112)            JURINE
 GATEWAY 82-15631            70  55  1  289  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          86  32  9  431  KILLING ME SOFTER (1323)   SHADOW GROVE
 HEAT 98-981                 87  70  4  210  WHAT A TREAT (1201)        SYVYN'S HILL