DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 11/20/2010 Duedate: 12/03/2010
DARKHOLM
DM-104 TURN-545
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 STREET PIZZA 18/114 2100 1694 23 55.4 CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074
ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1254 4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281 438 631 7 41.0
HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270 UP TO NO GOOD 37/316
DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258 5 JUST BECAUSE 38/1151 1072 1934 17 35.7
2 STYROFOAM 82/1090 1204 1063 9 53.1 6 BEACH BABES 7/1058 467 894 6 34.3
3 INDULGENT DR 54/1153 120 150 2 44.4 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 5/1325
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT
* }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *
---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---
Duelmasters
-----------
DM 1 MORDANT (turn 662): JOY of MIGHTY MORALS II (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
DM 2 NIANIA (turn 545): HEMLOCK of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
DM 3 OSKSI (turn 667): ALFJAR of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
DM 4 JHELUM (turn 639): RED HAMMER of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 5 KALTOS (turn 663): RAVEN of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 658): NOT-A-NUT JONES of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 7 BONSUR (turn 667): SUZIE of CHURCH LADIES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
DM 10 KOLACT (turn 651): LIA HOBERN of THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 653): BIG PIMPIN' IMP of THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal)
DM 21 SUNSET (turn 652): TERRE HAUTE of TRIAL & ERROR (JE, mgr.)
DM 36 JHANS (turn 620): BELARDON FRYE of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 607): LUM BUSBY of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 279): MS D. MEENER of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
DM 42 RODEKI (turn 600): HARD KNOCKS of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 551): BEAST of DEATH CULT (Obregon, mgr.)
DM 54 TROCAR (turn 263): KORASIM of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 59 ILLIS (turn 254): NAZARETH of CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 496): WHITE WIZARD of HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 230): STEVE LAKE of SUE'S BOYS (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 544): GATEWAY of ATTACK OF THE CLONES (Crip, mgr.)
Top Teams
---------
DM 1 MORDANT (turn 662): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 2 NIANIA (turn 545): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 3 OSKSI (turn 667): STATE OF MIND (Marma Duke, mgr.)
DM 4 JHELUM (turn 639): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
DM 5 KALTOS (turn 663): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 658): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 7 BONSUR (turn 667): BUNION SQUAD (Obregon, mgr.)
DM 10 KOLACT (turn 651): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 653): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
DM 21 SUNSET (turn 652): 420 B.C. (Bubba Ganoosh, mgr.)
DM 36 JHANS (turn 620): MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 607): HOLMES ON THE RANGE (Sherlock, mgr.)
DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 279): PROPHETIC OMENS (Lord Rahl, mgr.)
DM 42 RODEKI (turn 600): DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 551): DEATH CULT (Obregon, mgr.)
DM 54 TROCAR (turn 263): SPARF! (Crip, mgr.)
DM 59 ILLIS (turn 254): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 496): HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 230): MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 544) STREET PIZZA et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)
Recent Graduates
-----------------
DM 5 KALTOS (turn 662): IRVINA KORL of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 657): UPPER DECK of BALTO (JE, mgr.)
DM 7 BONSUR (turn 666): BETTERTHANEVER of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
DM 10 KOLACT (turn 650): FRIDAY THE 13TH of BACON MAKIN' (Sherlock, mgr.)
DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 653): BIG PIMPIN' IMP of THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal)
PINCH BLISTER of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
THE CODDLER of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
DM 21 SUNSET (turn 652): DISEASE of DARK AT HEART (?, mgr.)
(turn 651): TERRA SIGILLATA of THE RED BLADES (Bill the Bard, mgr.)
DM 36 JHANS (turn 620): BELARDON FRYE of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 279): MS D. MEENER of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
DM 42 RODEKI (turn 598): ROCKHOG JR of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
FAROMAN of DELVERS (Harby, mgr.)
DM 54 TROCAR (turn 263): KORASIM of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
(turn 262): MADAM VENUSIA of SPARF! (Crip, mgr.)
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
There you are again! Hullo!
This is where I talk about the thrilling things that happened here on fight day.
*taps fingers* Alllll.... righty then.
The four warriors who were voted onto the most popular and least popular lists
simultaneously were: Gateway, Stassia, Crysoprase, and Rob A. Ree. It pains me to
report that these unfortunate individuals may have suffered... consequences due to
this state of cognitive dissonance.
GATEWAY (82-15631) (87-56-1,304) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES fought WORK IN PROGRESS
(38-4193) (60-185-2,184) of JUST BECAUSE. GATEWAY devastated WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1
minute mismatched Title fight. Yes, yes, of course Gateway is still our Keeper of
the Runeblade, and of course he is still our Top Lunger, and now, he says he is
writing a book: "Love Me or Hate Me, I Can Still Beat You Up." I ventured to
suggest that the title might be a bit too long for a book cover, and he accused me of
falling into the "hate me" category and threw a bottle of ink at me. Work in
Progress is our top Parry-Ripper still -- a fun style.
SMELL CAREFULLY (18-8889) (54-96-2,229) of STREET PIZZA fought FERD THE TOWER
(104-27) (120-15-8,280) of FERD'S TEAM. SMELL CAREFULLY was handily defeated by FERD
THE TOWER in a 1 minute one-sided match. Really, no one can beat Ferd the Tower.
Right? That's what I've heard anyway. So it's no disgrace, losing to him.
??RADAR?? (82-20310) (66-87-1,238) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II fought COOLER (82-
7277) (115-109-2,191) of STYROFOAM. ??RADAR?? was viciously subdued by COOLER in a
popular 1 minute gory contest. Of course, Cooler is our Top Slasher. But ??Radar??
has had to yield the Top Waste spot to Stassia. Will we soon see those two titans
battling it out for the Top Wall of Steel honor?
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH (82-12478) (50-20-0,219) of HANNAH'S PALS fought LOCAL
CONSTABLE (104-22) (0-0-0,181) of NOT A FISHERMAN. RUGEN THE JELLYFISH demolished
LOCAL CONSTABLE in a 2 minute mismatched competition. Reportedly, the Constable only
fought Rugen because his challenge to the Drunken Fisherman did not go through. In
any case Rugen -- well done. I've had a few run-ins with constables myself during my
salad days. This one is named Durgen Marfy and he's... all right, if you're not
drunk and disorderly. He has this disconcerting way of folding his arms, looking
askance at you, and saying, "Hmm."
CRYSOPRASE (1-3266) (88-118-2,196) of ILLFANG PACT fought ROB A. REE (39-3241)
(53-43-1,177) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT. CRYSOPRASE bested ROB A. REE in a crowd pleasing
2 minute match. That's all well and good -- wins are a bit scarce for the poor girl
-- but she, too, suffered from cognitive dissonance. It hit her rather hard
actually. She was seen in the ladies' locker room after her fight, bashing her head
repeatedly on a metal locker and moaning "Love hate! Love hate! This is bad, bad,
BAD for the daisies!" As for Rob, he actually went Lakeside, lay down in a dingy,
and dangled his arm in the water to watch the little lake monsters come up for a
nibble, and then suddenly veer away in disgust.
STASSIA (37-1523) (78-99-3,196) of UP TO NO GOOD fought ARSONIST ART (39-3325)
(48-42-0,180) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT. STASSIA overcame ARSONIST ART in a 2 minute
fight. This was our top Wall of Steel overcoming our top Total Parry. On the one
hand, it was a rather defensive battle, which our spectators tend to dislike. On the
other hand, there was that wardrobe malfunction. Stassia's leather bodice was laced
rather tightly, and during a particularly strenouous move... well, we all got the
picture. Was she affected by the cognitive dissonance? I believe so. She walked
around kissing men at random and then slapping them. She slaps hard, too! Knocked
me over.
MEN WORKING (38-4189) (53-192-1,198) of JUST BECAUSE fought B.A. TURRY (39-3383)
(32-43-2,174) of CRIMINAL ELEMENT. MEN WORKING was handily defeated by B.A. TURRY in
a 2 minute uneven melee. Despite his loss, Mr. Working is our Top Basher.
SEX ON THE BEACH (54-2435) (43-35-3,177) of INDULGENT DRINKS fought M. CHARDINEE
(104-8) (0-0-0,110) of CHARDONNAY. SEX ON THE BEACH vanquished M. CHARDINEE in a 1
minute uneven fight.
Last but not least, we come to the five warriors of The Middle Way 5, who went
two-and-three against the stand-in warriors. This is rather unfortunate! Because
these are relatively young fighters in an aging arena, they didn't get to fight any
official gladiators, at all. But let us welcome this new blood!
KATIRONA MURH (5-4929) (25-15-2,92) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 fought DEBBY TONTE (104-
2) (20-30-0,30) of SPYREPORTERS. KATIRONA MURH viciously subdued DEBBY TONTE in a
popular 2 minute brutal fight. Well done, Katirona. That's not the real Debby Tonte
(although she'd like you to think she is) but she is tougher than you might expect.
This Debby Tonte impersonator does birthday parties and bachelor parties, and has
been heard to use the word "albendranius" quite a lot more than the original.
PENDRU ROST (5-4956) (17-43-0,94) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 fought COCKY SPECTATOR
(104-3) (0-0-0,0) of DARKHOLM'S ELITE. PENDRU ROST was handily defeated by COCKY
SPECTATOR in a 1 minute one-sided bout. The "spectator," I believe, was a
transferred warrior who arrived too late for the day's fights. And so when the call
went up for volunteers from the stands, he jumped at the chance. I believe Mr. Rost
may have underestimated the fellow's skill.
JAMMY LARKE (5-4926) (20-14-0,74) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 fought DEBBY TONTE (104-2)
(20-30-0,30) of SPYREPORTERS. JAMMY LARKE was narrowly defeated by DEBBY TONTE in a
crowd pleasing 2 minute match. It really was narrow! The woman's blond wig was
turned sideways, she couldn't see anything, and she failed wildly with her sword.
Unfortunately one of the wild swings caught Mr. Larke on the neck.
HELENE JUSTE (5-4875) (15-12-0,57) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 fought BOOKIE'S GUARD
(104-5) (35-18-0,75) of LOCAL BULLIES. HELENE JUSTE was devastated by BOOKIE'S GUARD
in a 1 minute one-sided battle. Really, that was a bad mismatch. I mean look at
their records.
JERI LOUGH (5-4840) (14-32-0,74) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 fought DRUNKEN FISHERMAN
(104-1) (20-20-0,50) of NOT A CONSTABLE. JERI LOUGH beat DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a
crowd pleasing 2 minute gory conflict. The spectator who cheered the loudest was the
Durgen Marfy, the Local Constable.
I believe that wraps up my account of our thrilling fights. It's a lovely,
sunny day, albeit a blustery one, and I believe I'll go out in it and get blown
around a bit.
Until next time, cheerio!
Malic of Talcama
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
GATEWAY 82-15631 88 56 1 311 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478 51 20 0 227 HANNAH'S PALS (1270) DWES EG
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 54 97 2 210 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA
COOLER 82-7277 116 109 2 204 STYROFOAM (1090) DWES EG
CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 89 118 2 202 ILLFANG PACT (281) MORDANT
STASSIA 37-1523 79 99 3 201 UP TO NO GOOD (316) SIBIKHAS
B.A. TURRY 39-3383 33 43 2 199 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
-ALOHA ALICE 7-4867 38 94 0 197 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR
??RADAR?? 82-20310 66 88 1 193 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 60 186 2 186 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MEN WORKING 38-4189 53 193 1 179 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
ARSONIST ART 39-3325 48 43 0 179 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 44 35 3 179 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR
ROB A. REE 39-3241 53 44 1 178 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
-TALLAHASSE TINA 7-4889 35 114 0 178 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-LAGUNA LIL 7-5681 30 104 0 149 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-BEACH BETTY 7-5768 56 72 0 98 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-MIAMI MIA 7-4818 46 89 5 83 BEACH BABES (1058) BONSUR
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
No time to write personals, we're busy packing. Going back to Bonsur, truly retired,
to devote our lives to making really good smash and throwing parties. -- the Beach
Babes
This is sad news! You will all be missed, most especially by the Inkeeper's
Son. Really, many's the evening I have wandered down to the cabana on the
beach, and enjoyed a gourd full of smash as we sat around the campfire. If I
were the sort to shoulder that kind of responsibility, I'd offer to keep the
place nice. Have fun in Bonsur.... well, how could anyone not have fun in the
Federation's party town? I'll swing by for a visit the next time I go back to
Talahya. -- Malic
Middle Way -- Welcome! We're glad to have you here in Darkholm. -- Malic
??Radar?? -- Oh, argh! You're just way better than me at fighting. And I HATE that!
When all the announcer does is talk about your body parts. -- Crysoprase
B.A. Turry -- I didn't expect to win that one! I don't normally do well against your
style. Congratulations on maxing out, though. -- Stassia
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
GATEWAY devastated WORK IN PROGRESS in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
SMELL CAREFULLY was handily defeated by FERD THE TOWER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
??RADAR?? was viciously subdued by COOLER in a popular 1 minute gory contest.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH demolished LOCAL CONSTABLE in a 2 minute mismatched competition.
CRYSOPRASE bested ROB A. REE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.
STASSIA overcame ARSONIST ART in a 2 minute fight.
MEN WORKING was handily defeated by B.A. TURRY in a 2 minute uneven melee.
SEX ON THE BEACH vanquished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
KATIRONA MURH viciously subdued DEBBY TONTE in a popular 2 minute brutal fight.
PENDRU ROST was handily defeated by COCKY SPECTATOR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
JAMMY LARKE was narrowly defeated by DEBBY TONTE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.
HELENE JUSTE was devastated by BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
JERI LOUGH beat DRUNKEN FISHERMAN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory conflict.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 6 PARRY-STRIKE 14 - 5 - 1 74 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 SLASHING ATTACK 6 - 4 - 1 60 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 LUNGING ATTACK 39 - 26 - 0 60 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 WALL OF STEEL 27 - 19 - 1 59 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 1 TOTAL PARRY 7 - 12 - 0 37 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 13 - 0 35 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 1 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 20 - 0 20 |
|BASHING ATTACK 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 - 0 0 |
|TOTAL PARRY 1 AIMED BLOW 0 - 4 - 0 0 |
|AIMED BLOW 0 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 1 - 0 0 |
Turn 545 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 0 4 LUNGING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 2 WALL OF STEEL
WALL OF STEEL 3 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 2 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
BASHING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY
TOTAL PARRY 0 - 1 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 BASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK GATEWAY 82-15631 88 56 1 311 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254)
SLASHING ATTACK COOLER 82-7277 116 109 2 204 STYROFOAM (1090)
PARRY-STRIKE CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 89 118 2 202 ILLFANG PACT (281)
WALL OF STEEL STASSIA 37-1523 79 99 3 201 UP TO NO GOOD (316)
PARRY-RIPOSTE WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 60 186 2 186 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
BASHING ATTACK MEN WORKING 38-4189 53 193 1 179 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
TOTAL PARRY ARSONIST ART 39-3325 48 43 0 179 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)
The overall popularity leader is COOLER 82-7277. The most popular warrior this turn
was RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478. The ten other most popular fighters were B.A.
TURRY 39-3383, COOLER 82-7277, MEN WORKING 38-4189, KATIRONA MURH 5-4929, JERI LOUGH
5-4840, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, CRYSOPRASE 1-3266, ROB A. REE 39-3241, STASSIA 37-1523,
and GATEWAY 82-15631.
The least popular fighter this week was PENDRU ROST 5-4956. The other ten least
popular fighters were HELENE JUSTE 5-4875, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, WORK IN PROGRESS
38-4193, JAMMY LARKE 5-4926, SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435, ARSONIST ART 39-3325, GATEWAY
82-15631, STASSIA 37-1523, ROB A. REE 39-3241, and CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 1 0 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 1 0 0 TROCAR(54) 1 0 0
KALTOS(5) 2 3 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 DWES EG(82) 3 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 0 1 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 2 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CRYSOPRASE 1-3266 89 118 2 202 ILLFANG PACT (281) MORDANT
SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889 54 97 2 210 STREET PIZZA (114) TALCAMA
STASSIA 37-1523 79 99 3 201 UP TO NO GOOD (316) SIBIKHAS
WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193 60 186 2 186 JUST BECAUSE (1151) CLIFFHOME
B.A. TURRY 39-3383 33 43 2 199 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074) XOCHITHLAN
SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435 44 35 3 179 INDULGENT DRINKS (1153) TROCAR
GATEWAY 82-15631 88 56 1 311 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1254 DWES EG