DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 05/21/2011    Duedate: 06/03/2011

DARKHOLM

DM-104    TURN-558

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 STREET PIZZA 18/114  2136 1708 23 55.6      CRIMINAL ELEMENT 39/1074              
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                     4 ILLFANG PACT 1/281    454  641  7 41.5
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258                 UP TO NO GOOD 37/316                  
  2 HYBORIA 69/747        274  274  2 50.0    5 JOHNS 5/927          1085 1976 17 35.4
    TACKLE BOX 37/788                           THE LADY'S LIST 6/917                 
    XENOCIDE 69/725                             AUTHORS 21/749                        
    TACKLE BOX 6/1332                           JUST BECAUSE 38/1151                  
  3 INDULGENT DR 54/1153  142  180  2 44.1    6 THE MIDDLE WA 5/1325  481  945  6 33.7

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 675): VERMOUTH of BOOZE (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 558): CHARLIE HORSE of THE FUNNY FARM (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 680): HUSTLERS AMBITION of STATE OF MIND (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 652): IRONSIDE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 676): BALISONG of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 671): SWIVEL of TACKLE BOX (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 680): ETUGEN KHAN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 664): FOOTLOOSE of BACON MAKIN' (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 666): SUSHI of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 665): TIME of OMINOUS REIGN (Archaic Elf, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 633): KOLLY LIGGITT of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 620): ZANDER of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 286): TIMOR UNRED of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 613): BRAID of I CAN'T BRUSH YOU (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 564): WHO of QUESTIONS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 267): ALBERT of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 260): FAIRYFIRE of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 509): THE PLAGUE of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 237): WHOLE of MILK IS GOOD (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 557): STASSIA of UP TO NO GOOD (She-Puppy, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 675): CLUELESS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 558): THE FUNNY FARM (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 680): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 652): DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 676): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 671): TACKLE BOX (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 680): SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 664): THE MOONDOGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 666): OF WOLF AND MAN II (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 665): KANO CLAN (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 633): MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 620): HOLMES ON THE RANGE (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 286): THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 613): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 564): VENTURE BROS (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 267): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 260): TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 509): HORSE LAKERS (General Ikillu, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 237): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 557) STREET PIZZA et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 674): HONESTY of MIGHTY MORALS II (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 557): LORINDA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
                           FREDILILLA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 652): RED HAMMER of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 675): SCOOTIE PUFF JR of 011510A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 671): SWIVEL of TACKLE BOX (Buri, mgr.)
                            STUMP JUMPER of TACKLE BOX (Buri, mgr.)
                (turn 670): SPUTTERBUZZ of TACKLE BOX (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 680): QUEENIE of BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 679): PAULA of CHURCH LADIES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 664): DELION of OF WOLF AND MAN II (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 665): BONEFACE of RAGING LORDS (General Ikillu, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 257): DENG FEI of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
                           TIAN HU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                      Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade

Well, well.

     Somebody tricked me into wearing plate armor last turn, but it worked out all
right.  Hula Popper kept hitting me in the chest--the girls are somewhat magnetic,
you know?  Although I'm surprised it worked on a golem.  And Pops, I meant it when I
said I know a guy who can get you a gender attachment.  Any kind you want.  I've got
to say you were semi-brilliant, but you'd need a different weapon against that tin
can I was wearing.
     So, I'm supposed to write something that will be significant to all of you
Darkholmers out there.  What, just because I won a fight?  *roll eyes*  Who made up
that rule, huh?  What is significant to all of you, and what if I don't agree with
it?  I'm not gonna say it.  So forget that.
     All right, here's something semi-significant to some of you, maybe.  Guys, you
know the kind of girl your mother warned you about?  I'm that kind of girl.  If you
go out with me, the old biddies here in Willow Beach will immediately think you're
the wrong sort.
     That's it.  I don't know anything else.  Well, I do, but nothing else fit for
print, y'know?

Stassia

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hullo!

     Malic here.
     Just an FYI:  The Middle Way had a 2-3 turn and fought no stand-ins.
     Well let's see, I'm pleased to see that Stassia has written a column as Keeper
of the Runeblade.  And after her random Match with Work in Progress, she gets to do
it again.  I hope she has more to say!  STASSIA (37-1523) (87-103-3,213) of UP TO NO
GOOD fought WORK IN PROGRESS (38-4193) (65-193-2,201) of JUST BECAUSE.  STASSIA
bested WORK IN PROGRESS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title fight.  Last turn, Work in
Progress was listed as our top Parry-Riposter.  And as we all know, Stassia is a Wall
of Steel.  So this means... I have no idea what it means.  I would have been
mesmerized by the shiny plate mail too.
     Our second highest warrior is Rugen the Jellyfish, who is our top Lunger.  You
know, I wouldn't picture a jellyfish lunging.  I suppose that's why it's a good name,
eh?  And just to give Hula Popper a bit more trouble, Rugen handed... it... another
loss today.  RUGEN THE JELLYFISH (82-12478) (60-23-0,199) of HANNAH'S PALS fought
HULA POPPER (37-2986) (26-23-0,198) of TACKLE BOX.  RUGEN THE JELLYFISH demolished
HULA POPPER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
     Alarond the Scribe stopped by today with some color advice.  He said "A brave
warrior does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover or hide when the fight
is over.  Does this track, for any of you?  I really don't get it.  What's cowardly
about a red shield?  And then he also said, "Blood on the purple robe does not change
it from a purple robe."  Unless you get enough blood on it to turn it red, eh?
     Our most popular warrior this turn (as always, it seems) is ??Radar??.
??RADAR?? (82-20310) (75-91-1,181) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II fought THUNDER BUG (37-
3734) (23-12-0,195) of TACKLE BOX.  ??RADAR?? vanquished THUNDER BUG in a 1 minute
uneven battle.
     And this turn's favorite is Smell Carefully.  SMELL CAREFULLY (18-8889) (59-104-
2,197) of STREET PIZZA fought NEEDLE (69-3134) (30-21-0,190) of HYBORIA.  SMELL
CAREFULLY viciously subdued NEEDLE in a popular 2 minute gory contest.
     Alarond also said "...in Darkhom a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spyrmaster
gets poor."  Wait a minute...  I'm supposed to get paid for this?  *hurries off to
talk to someone in charge at the Commission.*

Malic of Talcama

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STASSIA 37-1523             88 103  3  221  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  61  23  0  211  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     60 104  2  208  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 KALIDOR 69-2314             26  30  0  206  HYBORIA (747)              CIMMERIAC
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310          76  91  1  204  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 ENDER 69-1066               32  29  4  203  XENOCIDE (725)             CIMMERIAC
 HULA POPPER 37-2986         26  24  0  198  TACKLE BOX (788)           SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    65 194  2  196  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           96 124  2  191  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 NEEDLE 69-3134              30  22  0  188  HYBORIA (747)              CIMMERIAC
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          61  49  1  185  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         55 204  1  181  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THUNDER BUG 37-3734         23  13  0  178  TACKLE BOX (788)           SIBIKHAS
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    49  43  3  173  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 B.A. TURRY 39-3383          37  52  2  170  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 ZANE GREY 21-4810           28  42  2  168  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 ARSONIST ART 39-3325        53  51  0  158  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ZAKAU 5-4623                31  32  0  135  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 MARK 5-4088                 50 112  3  126  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 HOFFA 5-4348                12 105  0  116  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CLIVE 6-5215                22  25  4   82  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HELENE JUSTE 5-4875         19  22  0   82  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMMY LARKE 5-4926          24  24  0   75  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 HOFFA 5-4622                25  38  0   66  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 MIKEL 6-6190                16  13  2   66  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190           36 123  0   62  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 KATIRONA MURH 5-4929        30  24  2   56  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 LENNON 5-4087               17  14  1   55  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810          15   5  0   49  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 SATCHEL 6-6215              18  17  1   48  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 PENDRU ROST 5-4956          18  56  0   44  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 JERI LOUGH 5-4840           16  44  0   39  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 HOFFA 5-4299                15  37  0   39  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 JUSTIN 6-6179               16  16  1   36  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ALOYICIUS 6-5045            15  14  2   24  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Hula Popper -- I like the grass skirt.  And thank you for challenging me!  Even
though you didn't stand much of a chance. -- Stassia
P.S.  If your manager won't go for it, I know a guy who can get you a black market
gender attachment.

Smell Carefully -- Ow.  That was just vicious.  And then when you walked in a circle
around me afterwards and smelled me, that was a bit creepy. -- Crysoprase

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STASSIA bested WORK IN PROGRESS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title fight.
??RADAR?? vanquished THUNDER BUG in a 1 minute uneven battle.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH demolished HULA POPPER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
SMELL CAREFULLY viciously subdued NEEDLE in a popular 2 minute gory contest.
MEN WORKING was demolished by KALIDOR in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
ROB A. REE was overpowered by DIRK CHOLERA in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
ENDER devastated ZANE GREY in a action packed 1 minute gruesome one-sided competition.
B.A. TURRY was vanquished by CRYSOPRASE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ARSONIST ART defeated MARK in a 2 minute duel.
SEX ON THE BEACH unbelievably bested ZAKAU in a popular 2 minute brutal fight.
HOFFA was handily defeated by CAPTURED CUTPURSE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
JUSTIN was demolished by DEBBY TONTE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
SPUTTERBUZZ subdued ALOYICIUS in a 2 minute match.
CLIVE devastated KATIRONA MURH in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched bout.
PENDRU ROST was overpowered by MIKEL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
JAMMY LARKE won victory over LENNON in a 1 minute fray.
HELENE JUSTE overpowered HOFFA in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
JERI LOUGH was unbelievably bested by HOFFA in a exciting 3 minute fight.
SATCHEL was subdued by INKEEPER'S SON in a 2 minute bout.
2 + 2 = 4 savagely defeated BOOKIE'S GUARD in a popular 3 minute bloody match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     32 -  28 -  0      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  40 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -  21 -  0      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY        6 -   9 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  16 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK    4 -   9 -  0      31  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         AIMED BLOW         0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 558 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  4         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      3 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    STASSIA 37-1523            88 103  3  221 UP TO NO GOOD (316)
LUNGING ATTACK   RUGEN THE JELLYF 82-12478  61  23  0  211 HANNAH'S PALS (1270)
SLASHING ATTACK  KALIDOR 69-2314            26  30  0  206 HYBORIA (747)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193   65 194  2  196 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          96 124  2  191 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        55 204  1  181 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
STRIKING ATTACK  ZANE GREY 21-4810          28  42  2  168 AUTHORS (749)
TOTAL PARRY      ARSONIST ART 39-3325       53  51  0  158 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)
PARRY-LUNGE      MARK 5-4088                50 112  3  126 JOHNS (927)

The overall popularity leader is ??RADAR?? 82-20310.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889.  The ten other most popular fighters were ZAKAU 
5-4623, JERI LOUGH 5-4840, STASSIA 37-1523, 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190, ENDER 69-1066, WORK IN 
PROGRESS 38-4193, KALIDOR 69-2314, SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435, SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810, and 
ALOYICIUS 6-5045.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 5-4299.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were B.A. TURRY 39-3383, HULA POPPER 37-2986, THUNDER BUG 37-3734, LENNON 
5-4087, PENDRU ROST 5-4956, KATIRONA MURH 5-4929, JUSTIN 6-6179, HOFFA 5-4348, ZANE 
GREY 21-4810, and ROB A. REE 39-3241.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  0 0  SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            3  8 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  2 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        2  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           3  3 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  DWES EG(82)          2  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       1  2 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           96 124  2  191  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 ZAKAU 5-4623                31  32  0  135  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 CLIVE 6-5215                22  25  4   82  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     60 104  2  208  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 ZANE GREY 21-4810           28  42  2  168  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 STASSIA 37-1523             88 103  3  221  UP TO NO GOOD (316)        SIBIKHAS
 WORK IN PROGRESS 38-4193    65 194  2  196  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROB A. REE 39-3241          61  49  1  185  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1074)    XOCHITHLAN
 SEX ON THE BEACH 54-2435    49  43  3  173  INDULGENT DRINKS (1153)    TROCAR
 KALIDOR 69-2314             26  30  0  206  HYBORIA (747)              CIMMERIAC
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  61  23  0  211  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG