DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 06/30/2012    Duedate: 07/13/2012

DARKHOLM ARENA

DM 104    TURN 587

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 PUNCHLINES 82/1115  2208 1738  23 56.0    3 ILLFANG PACT 1/281   486  661   9 42.4
    STREET PIZZA 18/114                       4 STORM RIDERS 1/1056  575 1023   7 36.0
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                       BLOOD + ORANGES 51/518
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258                 STORM RIDERS II 1/1057
  2 AESIR 3/301          355  329   4 51.9      THE MIDDLE WAY 5 5/1325
    SHREDDERS 42/1337                         5 JOHNS 5/927         1225 2254  21 35.2
    TACKLE BOX 6/1332                           AUTHORS 21/749
    THE FUNNY FARM 2/881                        JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
    VENTURE BROS. 51/1340                       THE LADY'S LIST 6/917

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 704): WHISKEY of BOOZE (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 587): PAPEWAIO of HAMOI TONG (Froot E. Bowl, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 709): VELOVORINSAL NORS of GAMES LIBRARIANS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 681): VAR-KHAN of SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 705): JUST LOSIN of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 700): DAZEY MAY of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 709): SAW HORSE of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 693): CLYDE of THE CLUB (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 695): BABY ON BOARD of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 694): GRASS SEED of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 660): VIPER of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 649): LOGRANAL MAUR of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 642): SOCKLESS CRITIC of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 593): DEAN of VENTURE BROS. (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 282): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 275): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 538): KOLBERT MOON of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 251): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYERS (Assurnasirbanipal)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 586): ELAYRON of BLOOD + ORANGES (Jorja, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 704): LOW ROAD 3 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 587): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 709): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 681): SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 705): TECHNOLOGY (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 700): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 709): SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 693): THE CLUB (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 695): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 694): THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 660): SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 649): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 642): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 593): VENTURE BROS. (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 282): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 275): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 538): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 251): BASH BROS CABLE (Asssurnasirbanipal, mgr>)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 586) PUNCHLINES et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 680): KAI-GAN of SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 693): ULF SUNDERHELM of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 694): HARBOR MASTER of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 694): GRASS SEED of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 648): LION'S MANE of HOLMES ON THE RANGE (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 593): DEAN of VENTURE BROS. (Buri, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                      Reflections by the Keeper of the Runeblade

     The palindromically named Radar is another dwarf.  This Isle is infested with
the creatures.  This particular one... was trying too hard.  Pushing, rushing,
burning himself out.  And in this heat!  Suicidal, really.  He should be glad I ended
that fight quickly.  In fact, he thanked me afterward, in between grimaces of pain.
(It was not, after all, a game of tiddily plinks we were playing, and I was
forceful.)  Later on, after he escap-- was released from the Infirmary, we did play a
little tiddly plinks.  I won, of course.  They were my plinks, after all, and the one
who brings the plinks to the plank (it's played on a plank somewhat like a ouiji
board, but is not, I repeat NOT, a fortune-telling technique) is already ahead of the
game.

                                     Elayron

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Hullo there!

     It's a hot day outside, but it was chilly this morning in Darkholm Arena.  The
way the place is built, with the spectators' stands rising up so steeply and the roof
actually partly shading the circle of sand, we pretty much only get the sun at
midday.  And since there were only nineteen fights, we were done well before noon.
     There was a challenge fight!  FLASHER (6-6556) (19-8-1,126) of TACKLE BOX
challenged JAMMY LARKE (5-4926) (44-32-0,151) of THE MIDDLE WAY 5.  FLASHER was
bested by JAMMY LARKE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight.  Well done,
Flasher for challenging and Mr. Larke for winning.  This makes Mr. Larke our most
challenged fighter, and he is top Parry-Riposter as well.  And Flasher is our top
Aimed Blow.  What?  Shouldn't he ranked higher?  According to Debby Tonte, Buri and
Jorja have a long-standing feud.  I've missed out on this.  Next time you're going to
exchange insults and hot glances, give me some advance notice so I can be there!
     HOFFA (5-4348) (12-133-0,38) of JOHNS fought BIG BIRD (2-5703) (17-16-2,58) of
THE FUNNY FARM.  HOFFA was killed by BIG BIRD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.  I
don't do deathday gifts, but I do send my condolences.
     ELAYRON (51-1492) (82-60-0,266) of BLOOD + ORANGES fought CRYSOPRASE (1-3266)
(113-135-3,200) of ILLFANG PACT.  ELAYRON was subdued by CRYSOPRASE in a 2 minute
Title melee.  Crysoprase has now inherited not only the Runeblade but the tiddly-
plinks plank.  It was a Parry-Lunger to Parry-Striker fight, and both fighters
retained their stylemastership.  And thanks to Elayron for the column.
     It's just hard to picture a jellyfish being a Lunger, isn't it?  Although they
can flick their tentacles out as quick as eeek.  And when you're in the water, you
can't dodge very fast at all.  Jellyfish are scary!  SPUTTERBUZZ (6-5810) (27-17-
0,191) of TACKLE BOX fought RUGEN THE JELLYFISH (82-12478) (85-27-0,209) of HANNAH'S
PALS.  SPUTTERBUZZ was overpowered by RUGEN THE JELLYFISH in a 2 minute one-sided
struggle.  Rugen is our top Lunger, and one must bear in mind that he isn't really a
jellyfish.
     Of course, there are three Hoffas in Darkholm.  This turn we actually saw one of
them win a fight!
     HOFFA (5-4299) (17-63-0,48) of JOHNS fought PENDRU ROST (5-4956) (28-74-0,36) of
THE MIDDLE WAY 5.    HOFFA was bested by PENDRU ROST in an action packed 1 minute
duel.  Not a surprising outcome.
     HOFFA (5-4622) (34-57-0,38) of JOHNS fought KATIRONA MURH (5-4929) (47-35-2,68)
of THE MIDDLE WAY 5.    HOFFA unbelievably bested KATIRONA MURH in an exciting 3
minute brutal fight.  How embarrassing for Ms. Murh.
     Needless to say, our Overall Popularity Leader is still ??Radar??.  ??RADAR??
(82-20310) (94-101-1,196) of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II fought MARK (5-4088) (56-134-3,172)
of JOHNS.  ??RADAR?? demolished MARK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven fight.
??Radar?? is also our top Wall of Steel.  Well done.
     This pretty much all I have to say today.  And now I've said it.  See you in two
weeks, or in a bar, whichever comes first.

Malic of Talcama

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           114 135  3  217  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478 86  27     225  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889      78 115  2  216  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HAIR LIP! 82-3261            28  22  1  210  PUNCHLINES (1115)          DWES EG
 TASHI'SINDAR 1-3249          75  54  3  203  STORM RIDERS II (1057)     MORDANT
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310           95 101  1  201  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070          75  90     199  STORM RIDERS (1056)        MORDANT
 SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810           27  18     198  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 ELAYRON 51-1492              82  61     196  BLOOD + ORANGES (518)      TRICORUS
 ZAKAU 5-4623                 45  47     190  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MARK 5-4088                  56 135  3  168  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 LENNON 5-4087                32  28  1  165  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 MEN WORKING 38-4189          65 223  1  163  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 JAMMY LARKE 5-4926           45  32     157  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MIKEL 6-6190                 29  29  2  138  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ZANE GREY 21-4810            32  67  2  135  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 FLASHER 6-6556               19   9  1  133  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 CLIVE 6-5215                 40  36  5  111  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 JUSTIN 6-6179                23  38  3  110  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HELENE JUSTE 5-4875          28  42  1  109  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SATCHEL 6-6215               34  30  2  100  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
-HENDRIX 42-4594              18   6      91  SHREDDERS (1337)           RODEKI

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190            47 141      78  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 JERI LOUGH 5-4840            36  53      77  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 HANK 51-5574                 20   3  4   76  VENTURE BROS. (1340)       TRICORUS
 KVASIR 3-7165                20   3  1   72  AESIR (301)                OSKSI

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HOFFA 5-4622                 35  57      65  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 BIG BIRD 2-5703              18  16  3   60  THE FUNNY FARM (881)       NIANIA
 KATIRONA MURH 5-4929         47  36  2   51  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 PENDRU ROST 5-4956           29  74      48  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 ALOYICIUS 6-5045             21  37  2   42  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 HOFFA 5-4348                 12 134      39  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 HOFFA 5-4299                 17  64      37  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
HOFFA 5-4348              12 134  0 JOHNS 927              BIG BIRD 2-5703           587

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Malic -- Dear boy, the Split does not happen in the summer.  Spring and fall, only.
You may be seeing tourney-timing. -- Elayron

     Perhaps.  I'm never sure about the Split.  It sounds painful, too.

Lennon -- Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that we should "give peace a chance" in
Darkholm?  I believe that would be an un-Delarquan policy, and it would completely
destroy the whole business of dueling.  Not a good idea for a gladiator. --
Tashi'Sindar

Men Working -- That is a joke, and typical of the warped sense of humor to be found
among elves.  I might as well remove your ears, since someone has already removed
other appendages farther south.  It isn't like you would be USING them. -- Hikaran
Daal

Mark -- You put up a good fight.  Did you notice that the announcer didn't mention
either of our races?  That's okay, since he usually gets it wrong.  Maybe somebody
told him to just stop talking about that. -- Crysoprase

     When both are the same (or believed to be the same by the Commission), races are
     not mentioned. -- Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FLASHER was bested by JAMMY LARKE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight.
ELAYRON was subdued by CRYSOPRASE in a 2 minute Title melee.
??RADAR?? demolished MARK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven fight.
ZAKAU was bested by HIKARAN DAAL in a popular 4 minute fight.
TASHI'SINDAR demolished LENNON in a action packed 1 minute mismatched competition.
SPUTTERBUZZ was overpowered by RUGEN THE JELLYFISH in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
HAIR LIP! was overpowered by FERD THE TOWER in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
SMELL CAREFULLY vanquished SHEWISH GIANT in a action packed 1 minute one-sided duel.
MEN WORKING overpowered HELENE JUSTE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
ZANE GREY was narrowly defeated by KHALHUMS DWARF in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
JUSTIN was devastated by M. CHARDINEE in a 2 minute brutal mismatched conflict.
MIKEL was luckily beaten by KHALHUMS DWARF in a 2 minute brawl.
CLIVE overpowered HANK in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
2 + 2 = 4 savagely defeated BOOKIE'S GUARD in a 2 minute gory duel.
HOFFA was bested by PENDRU ROST in a action packed 1 minute duel.
HOFFA was killed by BIG BIRD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
HOFFA unbelievably bested KATIRONA MURH in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
SATCHEL overpowered KVASIR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ALOYICIUS was overpowered by JERI LOUGH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   2 -  0      80  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         AIMED BLOW         5 -   2 -  0      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         LUNGING ATTACK    38 -  19 -  1      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   4 -  1      60  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  17 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  36 -  1      49  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY       17 -  23 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL     22 -  30 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  20 -  0      29  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  18 -  0      22  |

Turn 587 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  5         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266         114 135  3  217 ILLFANG PACT (281)
LUNGING ATTACK   RUGEN THE JELLYF 82-12478  86  27  0  225 HANNAH'S PALS (1270)
SLASHING ATTACK  HAIR LIP! 82-3261          28  22  1  210 PUNCHLINES (1115)
WALL OF STEEL    ??RADAR?? 82-20310         95 101  1  201 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
TOTAL PARRY      HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070        75  90  0  199 STORM RIDERS (1056)
PARRY-LUNGE      ELAYRON 51-1492            82  61  0  196 BLOOD + ORANGES (518)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        65 223  1  163 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JAMMY LARKE 5-4926         45  32  0  157 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)
STRIKING ATTACK  ZANE GREY 21-4810          32  67  2  135 AUTHORS (749)
AIMED BLOW       FLASHER 6-6556             19   9  1  133 TACKLE BOX (1332)

The overall popularity leader is ??RADAR?? 82-20310.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was ZANE GREY 21-4810.  The ten other most popular fighters were KATIRONA MURH 
5-4929, ZAKAU 5-4623, FLASHER 6-6556, RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478, CRYSOPRASE 
1-3266, HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, MIKEL 6-6190, 2 + 2 = 4 
38-4190, and JAMMY LARKE 5-4926.

The least popular fighter this week was ALOYICIUS 6-5045.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were KVASIR 3-7165, HANK 51-5574, HAIR LIP! 82-3261, HOFFA 5-4348, 
HOFFA 5-4299, HELENE JUSTE 5-4875, SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810, LENNON 5-4087, MARK 5-4088, 
and SATCHEL 6-6215.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           3  0 0  TRANSEL(6)           2  5 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        2  0 0  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 1  TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  2 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          2  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            4  7 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266          114 135  3  217  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 BIG BIRD 2-5703             18  16  3   60  THE FUNNY FARM (881)       NIANIA
 KVASIR 3-7165               20   3  1   72  AESIR (301)                OSKSI
 ZAKAU 5-4623                45  47  0  190  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810          27  18  0  198  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     78 115  2  216  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ZANE GREY 21-4810           32  67  2  135  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         65 223  1  163  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 ELAYRON 51-1492             82  61  0  196  BLOOD + ORANGES (518)      TRICORUS
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  86  27  0  225  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG