DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL

Date   : 08/11/2012    Duedate: 08/24/2012

DARKHOLM ARENA

DM 104    TURN 590

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 PUNCHLINES 82/1115  2218 1740  23 56.0      HIGHLANDERS 42/1341
    STREET PIZZA 18/114                       6 STORM RIDERS 1/1056  589 1033   8 36.3
    HANNAH'S PALS 82/1270                       BLOOD + ORANGES 51/518
    DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II 82/1258                 STORM RIDERS II 1/1057
  2 AESIR 3/301          359  334   4 51.8      THE MIDDLE WAY 5 5/1325
    TACKLE BOX 6/1332                         7 JOHNS 5/927         1240 2281  21 35.2
    THE FUNNY FARM 2/881                        AUTHORS 21/749
    VENTURE BROS. 51/1340                       JUST BECAUSE 38/1151
  3 THE VOLS 6/1314        3    3   1 50.0      THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
  4 STEEL LEGION 1/1304   11   13   0 45.8    8 FLAGG'S FIV 42/1108   60  119   1 33.5
    WINGED LEGION 6/1277                        FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS 7/1311
  5 ILLFANG PACT 1/281   487  667   9 42.2

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
Warriors.
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be
more."

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
detected.
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
added.
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
easy."
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:
     Bubbaganoosh
     Grimm
     Khisanth

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 707): RANDOM MANIAC of HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 590): POLISH CAVALRY of MISNOMERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 712): PERCIATELLI of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 684): KID KOALA of COLLEGE RADIO #4 (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): JUST LOSIN of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 703): SWEET FREDDY of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): SAW HORSE of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 696): SKYHAWK of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 698): KILL KITTEN of ARDUIN GRIMOIRE (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): COLD SHOT of THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 663): CHESTER GRELL of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 652): BASKERVILLE PIG of HOLMES ON THE RANGE (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): WOXTON of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 645): WHERETHEHECKISTAN of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): MANNY LEHMAN of PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): INFERNO of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYERS (Assurnasirbanipal)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 589): SMELL CAREFULLY of STREET PIZZA (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 707): LOW ROAD 3 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 590): THE FUNNY FARM (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 712): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 684): SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 703): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 696): FEARSOME FIVESOME (?, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 698): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 663): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 652): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 645): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): BASH BROS CABLE (Asssurnasirbanipal, mgr>)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 589) PUNCHLINES et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 706): NAEGLING of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
                            WHISKEY of BOOZE (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 683): VAR-KHAN of SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): JUST LOSIN of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): SAW HORSE of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
               (turn 711): DEBBY of CHURCH LADIES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): COLD SHOT of THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
               (turn 696): RAZE of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): MANNY LEHMAN of PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
                             GALDOR O'HARE of DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): INFERNO of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Well, well!

     Well.  Deep subject.  Here we are again.  Is it just me, or has fight day been
coming more often recently?
     Tolais Deepheart had a chance to take the title (and write a column) but he
failed to unseat the illiterate smelly person.  SMELL CAREFULLY (18-8889) (80-115-
2,240) of STREET PIZZA fought TOLAIS DEEPHEART (42-1620) (124-133-0,198) of
HIGHLANDERS.  SMELL CAREFULLY devastated TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute mismatched
Title fight.  Mr. Carefully remains our top Lunger.
     ??Radar?? has lost his title of  Overall Popularity Leader.  That important
leadership position now belongs to Crysoprase.  ??RADAR?? (82-20310) (97-101-1,222)
of DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II fought MARK (5-4088) (57-136-3,191) of JOHNS.  ??RADAR??
handily defeated MARK in an action packed 1 minute bloody one-sided match.  But
??Radar?? is still our top Wall of Steel.
     HAIR LIP! (82-3261) (29-23-1,218) of PUNCHLINES fought CRYSOPRASE (1-3266)
(115-136-3,203) of ILLFANG PACT.  HAIR LIP! viciously subdued CRYSOPRASE in a popular
2 minute bloody duel.  It's "harelip," you know, a reference to a rabbit's, or
hare's, upper lip.  A hair lip would be some form of moustache, perhaps the type that
curls down over the upper lip and continually gets food in it.  Which, I suppose,
would make a good punchline in some cases.  "If you can't remember what happened
yesterday, how do you know you had spaghetti for dinner?"  "Hair Lip!"  Hair Lip! Is
our top Slasher, and Crysoprase is our top Parry-Striker.
     Egads, we had a death.  HIKARAN DAAL (1-2070) (76-91-0,190) of STORM RIDERS
fought GEN. JACKSON (6-6285) (23-12-2,155) of THE VOLS.  HIKARAN DAAL executed GEN.
JACKSON in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.  I don't do deathday gifts, but I do buy
deathday drinks, if Gen. Jackson would care to join me at the tavern.  Hikaran Daal
is our top Total Parry, a strange style to be dealing death, eh?
     Elayron is climbing the ranks.  ZAKAU (5-4623) (45-49-0,183) of JOHNS fought
ELAYRON (51-1492) (84-61-0,207) of BLOOD + ORANGES.  ZAKAU was overpowered by ELAYRON
in a 1 minute uneven melee.  The orange guy is our top Parry-Lunger.
     Our top Basher is Men Working.  MEN WORKING (38-4189) (66-224-1,171) of JUST
BECAUSE fought TASHI'SINDAR (1-3249) (75-56-3,180) of STORM RIDERS II.  MEN WORKING
was vanquished by TASHI'SINDAR in an exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.  Exciting,
maybe, but finished too quickly.  Ladies say the same of me from time to time.
     FLASHER (6-6556) (19-10-1,135) of TACKLE BOX fought MIKEL (6-6190) (30-30-2,149)
of THE LADY'S LIST.  FLASHER demolished MIKEL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal
mismatched competition.  Flasher is our top Aimed Blow, and therefore someone to
watch, eh?
     Those Middle Way chaps are getting rather dangerous!  JUSTIN (6-6179) (24-39-
3,126) of THE LADY'S LIST fought JAMMY LARKE (5-4926) (45-34-0,128) of THE MIDDLE WAY
5.  JUSTIN was demolished by JAMMY LARKE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.  Mr. Larke is
our top Parry-Riposter.
     Speaking of Parry-Riposters, Zane Grey seems to have no idea what to do with
them.  ZANE GREY (21-4810) (33-68-2,142) of AUTHORS fought M. CHARDINEE (104-8) (0-0
0,110) of  THE MIDDLE WAY.  ZANE GREY was handily defeated by M. CHARDINEE in a 2
minute brutal one-sided bout.  Mr. Grey is our top Striker.

     Stunning news!  The Hoffas went 1-2 this turn!

     HOFFA (5-4622) (37-57-0,94) of JOHNS fought MASUMII (42-4117) (15-11-0,56) of
FLAGG'S FIVE.  HOFFA was viciously subdued by MASUMII in a crowd pleasing 9 minute
gruesome bout.  As expected, but longer.
     HOFFA (5-4299) (17-66-0,25) of JOHNS fought HAWK (6-5764) (19-8-0,87) of WINGED
LEGION.  HOFFA was handily defeated by HAWK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched
bout.  As expected.
     HOFFA (5-4348) (13-135-0,45) of JOHNS fought PHILTHRY (42-2079) (22-24-0,90) of
HIGHLANDERS.  HOFFA devastated PHILTHRY in a 2 minute one-sided fight.  Amazing!
Well done, Hoffa!

     I can feel my welcome wearing out, so I think it's time to say the G word.
Goodbye, and see you in a fortnight.

Malic of Talcama

KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889      81 115  2  252  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478 88  28     234  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG
 ??RADAR?? 82-20310           98 101  1  231  DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258) DWES EG
 HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070          77  91  1  229  STORM RIDERS (1056)        MORDANT
 HAIR LIP! 82-3261            30  23  1  226  PUNCHLINES (1115)          DWES EG
 ELAYRON 51-1492              85  61     213  BLOOD + ORANGES (518)      TRICORUS

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CRYSOPRASE 1-3266           115 137  3  198  ILLFANG PACT (281)         MORDANT
 SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810           27  20     197  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620    124 134     189  HIGHLANDERS (1341)         RODEKI
 TASHI'SINDAR 1-3249          76  56  3  189  STORM RIDERS II (1057)     MORDANT
 MARK 5-4088                  57 137  3  183  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ZAKAU 5-4623                 45  50     183  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LENNON 5-4087                33  30  1  176  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 MEN WORKING 38-4189          66 225  1  168  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 CLIVE 6-5215                 43  36  5  158  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 GEN. JACKSON 6-6285          23  13  2  154  THE VOLS (1314)            TRANSEL
 FLASHER 6-6556               20  10  1  153  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMMY LARKE 5-4926           46  34     137  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 MIKEL 6-6190                 30  31  2  135  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 JUSTIN 6-6179                24  40  3  120  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 ZANE GREY 21-4810            33  69  2  116  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 ADABEMIS & BALMADOR 42-1671  23  38     114  HIGHLANDERS (1341)         RODEKI
 HELENE JUSTE 5-4875          29  44  1  103  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KVASIR 3-7165                22   3  1   94  AESIR (301)                OSKSI

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HAWK 6-5764                  20   8      89  WINGED LEGION (1277)       TRANSEL
 MASUMII 42-4117              16  11      83  FLAGG'S FIVE (1108)        RODEKI
 JERI LOUGH 5-4840            38  54      81  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 HOFFA 5-4348                 14 135      79  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 OL SMOKEY 6-6312             16  10  2   78  THE VOLS (1314)            TRANSEL
 HOFFA 5-4622                 37  58      74  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
-HANK 51-5574                 20   4  4   74  VENTURE BROS. (1340)       TRICORUS
 PENDRU ROST 5-4956           31  75      73  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
 COBALT 1-7784                18   9  1   72  STEEL LEGION (1304)        MORDANT
 PELIS THE TRUE 42-3469       29  42      69  HIGHLANDERS (1341)         RODEKI
 KATIRONA MURH 5-4929         49  37  2   65  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)    KALTOS
-DEAN 51-5575                 18   3  1   58  VENTURE BROS. (1340)       TRICORUS
 PHILTHRY 42-2079             22  25      57  HIGHLANDERS (1341)         RODEKI
 GATE WITCH 42-3953           22  11      57  FLAGG'S FIVE (1108)        RODEKI
 BIG BIRD 2-5703              19  17  3   56  THE FUNNY FARM (881)       NIANIA
 SATCHEL 6-6215               36  31  2   52  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL
 DIGGER WASP 7-4899           12   3      39  FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS (1311)   BONSUR
 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190            47 144      34  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 HOFFA 5-4299                 17  67      34  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 ALOYICIUS 6-5045             21  40  2   29  THE LADY'S LIST (917)      TRANSEL

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
GEN. JACKSON 6-6285       23  13  2 THE VOLS 1314          HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070       590

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Smell Carefully -- And having smelled, I decided to dine elsewhere. -- Hikaran Daal

Malic -- Lennon wanted to make love, not war.  I am not that kind of man, even though
I dress carefully and have good manners. -- Elayron

     Elayron -- There IS brotherly love, you  know.  All platonic and so on.  You can
     give a man a hug, just don't let his hands stray too far down. -- Malic

Malic -- Rugen the Jellyfish offered me his hand.  Would YOU shake hands with a
jellyfish? -- Tashi'Sindar
P.S.  Elayron and I addressed you rather than our opponents because of the slightly
higher odds that you would respond.

     Tashi'Sindar -- I wouldn't shake hands with an actual jellyfish, no... unless he
     was wearing armored gauntlets, which many gladiators do.  But you know, that
     probably isn't a jellyfish crammed inside that costume.  One thing I've noticed
     about gladiators is that despite their names, they tend to be humanoid. -- Malic

Mark -- That was an exciting fight, I think, and a really close one.  Sorry about the
axe to the face though. -- Crysoprase
P.S.  Wasn't I supposed to have some teammates here?

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SMELL CAREFULLY devastated TOLAIS DEEPHEART in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
??RADAR?? handily defeated MARK in a action packed 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
RUGEN THE JELLYFISH devastated SPUTTERBUZZ in a exciting 2 minute one-sided fight.
HAIR LIP! viciously subdued CRYSOPRASE in a popular 2 minute bloody duel.
HIKARAN DAAL executed GEN. JACKSON in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
ZAKAU was overpowered by ELAYRON in a 1 minute uneven melee.
CLIVE won victory over M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute duel.
LENNON vanquished ADABEMIS & BALMADOR in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MEN WORKING was vanquished by TASHI'SINDAR in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
ZANE GREY was handily defeated by M. CHARDINEE in a 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
FLASHER demolished MIKEL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal mismatched competition.
JUSTIN was demolished by JAMMY LARKE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HELENE JUSTE handily defeated PELIS THE TRUE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
HOFFA was viciously subdued by MASUMII in a crowd pleasing 9 minute gruesome bout.
HOFFA was handily defeated by HAWK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched bout.
HOFFA devastated PHILTHRY in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
GATE WITCH was subdued by PENDRU ROST in a exciting 1 minute bout.
2 + 2 = 4 was outlasted by INKEEPER'S SON in a crowd pleasing 7 minute fight.
KVASIR devastated COBALT in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
BIG BIRD was vanquished by JERI LOUGH in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DIGGER WASP overcame ALOYICIUS in a 1 minute duel.
OL SMOKEY unbelievably bested KATIRONA MURH in a popular 2 minute contest.
SATCHEL demolished COCKY SPECTATOR in a action packed 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         LUNGING ATTACK    39 -  21 -  1      65  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         AIMED BLOW         4 -   3 -  0      57  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   6 -  1      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  33 -  0      51  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  18 -  0      49  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         TOTAL PARRY       17 -  20 -  1      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         WALL OF STEEL     19 -  27 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  15 -  0      29  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         BASHING ATTACK     6 -  21 -  0      22  |

Turn 590 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889    81 115  2  252 STREET PIZZA (114)
WALL OF STEEL    ??RADAR?? 82-20310         98 101  1  231 DYSLEXICS UNTIE! II (1258)
TOTAL PARRY      HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070        77  91  1  229 STORM RIDERS (1056)
SLASHING ATTACK  HAIR LIP! 82-3261          30  23  1  226 PUNCHLINES (1115)
PARRY-LUNGE      ELAYRON 51-1492            85  61  0  213 BLOOD + ORANGES (518)
PARRY-STRIKE     CRYSOPRASE 1-3266         115 137  3  198 ILLFANG PACT (281)
BASHING ATTACK   MEN WORKING 38-4189        66 225  1  168 JUST BECAUSE (1151)
AIMED BLOW       FLASHER 6-6556             20  10  1  153 TACKLE BOX (1332)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JAMMY LARKE 5-4926         46  34  0  137 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (1325)
STRIKING ATTACK  ZANE GREY 21-4810          33  69  2  116 AUTHORS (749)

The overall popularity leader is CRYSOPRASE 1-3266.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was MASUMII 42-4117.  The ten other most popular fighters were HAIR LIP! 
82-3261, SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889, KATIRONA MURH 5-4929, RUGEN THE JELLYFISH 82-12478, 
HOFFA 5-4622, ??RADAR?? 82-20310, HOFFA 5-4348, KVASIR 3-7165, CRYSOPRASE 1-3266, and 
TASHI'SINDAR 1-3249.

The least popular fighter this week was BIG BIRD 2-5703.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HOFFA 5-4299, PELIS THE TRUE 42-3469, ADABEMIS & BALMADOR 42-1671, GEN. 
JACKSON 6-6285, ALOYICIUS 6-5045, PHILTHRY 42-2079, JUSTIN 6-6179, ZANE GREY 21-4810, 
MEN WORKING 38-4189, and ZAKAU 5-4623.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  2 1  TRANSEL(6)           5  5 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  BONSUR(7)            1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           1  5 0  
OSKSI(3)             1  0 0  TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            6  5 0  SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HIKARAN DAAL 1-2070         77  91  1  229  STORM RIDERS (1056)        MORDANT
 BIG BIRD 2-5703             19  17  3   56  THE FUNNY FARM (881)       NIANIA
 KVASIR 3-7165               22   3  1   94  AESIR (301)                OSKSI
 MARK 5-4088                 57 137  3  183  JOHNS (927)                KALTOS
 SPUTTERBUZZ 6-5810          27  20  0  197  TACKLE BOX (1332)          TRANSEL
 DIGGER WASP 7-4899          12   3  0   39  FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS (1311)   BONSUR
 SMELL CAREFULLY 18-8889     81 115  2  252  STREET PIZZA (114)         TALCAMA
 ZANE GREY 21-4810           33  69  2  116  AUTHORS (749)              SUNSET
 MEN WORKING 38-4189         66 225  1  168  JUST BECAUSE (1151)        CLIFFHOME
 TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620   124 134  0  189  HIGHLANDERS (1341)         RODEKI
 ELAYRON 51-1492             85  61  0  213  BLOOD + ORANGES (518)      TRICORUS
 RUGEN THE JELLYFI 82-12478  88  28  0  234  HANNAH'S PALS (1270)       DWES EG