DARKHOLM SPORTING JOURNAL
Date : 09/05/2015 Duedate: 09/18/2015
DARKHOLM ARENA
DM 104 TURN 670
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 WIDER IS BE 21/1369 497 193 4 72.0 LEGION OF LEGEND 62/1305
2 WASTELAND II 7/500 3766 2715 16 58.1 5 HIGHLANDERS 42/1341 641 805 10 44.3
NEGATIVE CASH FLOW 82/1197 6 JOHNS 5/927 1562 2808 27 35.7
3 OBSIDIAN HA 33/1370 50 58 0 46.3 ARROGANCE 18/732
THE HOLY LEGION 10/490 THE LADY'S LIST 6/917
4 BRUTAL LEGIO 7/1335 83 97 0 46.1
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Good morning!
Why do we fight? Or rather, why do YOU fight? I mean... I know it's a living,
but it has got to be damned unpleasant. And as long as we're waxing philosophical,
Alarond says, "In Darkholm a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spymaster gets poor."
Those old spymasters are wise, aren't they? Although they do repeat themselves a lot,
like any old person. Like my grandfather. "Malic," he used to say, "if you get blood
on a purple robe it may stain. Or chocolate, that's worse. Give it to a poor person
immediately and buy yourself a new robe. And why are you wearing a robe in the middle
of the day, anyway? Get dressed, run outside, and play!" Which is why, in Talcama,
you'll find a lot of urchins running around in stained purple robes.
Let's chat about the fights, shall we?
Once again, E Aho Laula forgot to write a column. E AHO LAULA (21-4224) (82-45-
0,233) of WIDER IS BETTER fought GLAMDRING (33-2328) (45-30-1,223) of OBSIDIAN HALL.
E AHO LAULA devastated GLAMDRING in an action packed 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
Mr. Laula is our top-ranked Lunger, of course.
PHILTHRY (42-2079) (67-60-0,191) of HIGHLANDERS fought ZAKAU (5-4623) (83-92-
0,205) of JOHNS. PHILTHRY was handily defeated by ZAKAU in an action packed 1 minute
one-sided match. Ms. Deepheart's brother isn't nearly as good a fighter as she is.
He's more of a philosopher, I think. And he's our top Parry-Striker.
ZEUS (62-4010) (58-42-0,189) of LEGION OF LEGEND fought ASSUR (18-7821) (80-132-
2,182) of ARROGANCE. ZEUS was devastated by ASSUR in a popular 2 minute brutal one-
sided contest. Assur is still the top-ranked Basher.
CRACK IS CHEAP (82-18422) (84-101-0,192) of NEGATIVE CASH FLOW fought BLIND
BEGGAR (104-26) (40-35-0,200) of . CRACK IS CHEAP was devastated by BLIND BEGGAR in
a popular 1 minute uneven brawl. This was the only appearance by a stand-in this
turn. You know, I really don't think that beggar is blind at all. Anyway, Mr. Cheap
is the overall popularity leader, as he so often is. There's a plaque that goes with
that. He's got a lot of them.
TOLAIS DEEPHEART (42-1620) (172-166-0,207) of HIGHLANDERS fought STING (10-429)
(34-30-2,203) of THE HOLY LEGION. TOLAIS DEEPHEART was beaten by STING in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute brawl. Ms. Deepheart is, despite losing, our premier Wall of Steel.
I think she should write a Wall of Steel column, don't you?
MIKEL (6-6190) (69-72-3,188) of THE LADY'S LIST fought PELIS THE TRUE (42-3469)
(59-92-1,167) of HIGHLANDERS. MIKEL was overpowered by PELIS THE TRUE in a 1 minute
uneven melee. Mikel is our top Slasher. Pelis the True is... admirably polite.
DIGITALIS (33-6862) (27-29-1,150) of OBSIDIAN HALL fought FATALITY (7-5820) (49-
49-0,143) of BRUTAL LEGION. DIGITALIS viciously subdued FATALITY in an action packed
2 minute gory duel. Here we go! Digitalis is the highest ranked Parry-Riposte, while
Fatality is the best Striker. Surprising outcome in that fight, I think. Especially
the "viciously subdued" part.
JHAARAN (10-2017) (20-15-1,43) of THE HOLY LEGION fought MAN-MOUNTAIN (7-3853)
(24-20-1,60) of WASTELAND II. JHAARAN was viciously subdued by MAN-MOUNTAIN in a
popular 3 minute gory duel. Oddly, neither of these combatants is a stylemaster.
However, Man-Mountain was voted this turn's avorite fighter. It's all the muscles, I
think. Mostly women in the audience this turn.
That's it, I think. And I'm off to the tavern. Have a happy!
-- Malic of Talcama
KEEPER OF THE RUNEBLADE W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
E AHO LAULA 21-4224 83 45 252 WIDER IS BETTER (1369) SUNSET
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZAKAU 5-4623 84 92 218 JOHNS (927) KALTOS
STING 10-429 35 30 2 212 THE HOLY LEGION (490) KOLACT
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ASSUR 18-7821 81 132 2 207 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
-RYANATOR 33-3462 43 37 203 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370) NIATOLI ISLAND
GLAMDRING 33-2328 45 31 1 200 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370) NIATOLI ISLAND
TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 172 167 196 HIGHLANDERS (1341) RODEKI
PELIS THE TRUE 42-3469 60 92 1 188 HIGHLANDERS (1341) RODEKI
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 84 102 186 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
PHILTHRY 42-2079 67 61 183 HIGHLANDERS (1341) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZEUS 62-4010 58 43 175 LEGION OF LEGEND (1305) VALAMANTIS
MIKEL 6-6190 69 73 3 167 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
DIGITALIS 33-6862 28 29 1 156 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370) NIATOLI ISLAND
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FATALITY 7-5820 49 50 141 BRUTAL LEGION (1335) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MAN-MOUNTAIN 7-3853 25 20 1 67 WASTELAND II (500) BONSUR
-BRUNHYLDA 33-8082 25 13 1 59 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370) NIATOLI ISLAND
JHAARAN 10-2017 20 16 1 44 THE HOLY LEGION (490) KOLACT
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
E Aho Laula -- Well, that was a fun fight, except for, you know, the severe and
acutely painful bodily injuries. Well fought. I guess you'll be facing Glamdring
next, unless he doesn't show up. -- Tolais Deepheart
Ryanator -- Guess I can't really invoke the *cough*scum*cough* word to describe a
fight that lasted just two minutes. Well done. -- Philthry
Sting -- Yes, yes, you appear to be a better fighter than I. Although no faster.
It's no reason to be snotty, though. -- Pelis the True
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
E AHO LAULA devastated GLAMDRING in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
PHILTHRY was handily defeated by ZAKAU in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
ZEUS was devastated by ASSUR in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
CRACK IS CHEAP was devastated by BLIND BEGGAR in a popular 1 minute uneven brawl.
TOLAIS DEEPHEART was beaten by STING in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
MIKEL was overpowered by PELIS THE TRUE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
DIGITALIS viciously subdued FATALITY in a action packed 2 minute gory duel.
JHAARAN was viciously subdued by MAN-MOUNTAIN in a popular 3 minute gory duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 3 SLASHING ATTACK 6 - 4 - 0 60 |
|BASHING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 16 - 11 - 0 59 |
|TOTAL PARRY 3 TOTAL PARRY 11 - 12 - 0 48 |
|WALL OF STEEL 2 BASHING ATTACK 15 - 18 - 0 45 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 STRIKING ATTACK 4 - 6 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 WALL OF STEEL 9 - 14 - 0 39 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 1 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 7 - 0 30 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 6 - 0 25 |
|AIMED BLOW 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 - 0 0 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 0 - 0 0 |
Turn 670 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 0 3 LUNGING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 3 TOTAL PARRY
BASHING ATTACK 3 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 BASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 1 2 WALL OF STEEL
STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
TOTAL PARRY 0 - 3
WALL OF STEEL 0 - 2
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK E AHO LAULA 21-4224 83 45 0 252 WIDER IS BETTER (1369)
BASHING ATTACK ASSUR 18-7821 81 132 2 207 ARROGANCE (732)
TOTAL PARRY GLAMDRING 33-2328 45 31 1 200 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370)
WALL OF STEEL TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 172 167 0 196 HIGHLANDERS (1341)
PARRY-STRIKE PHILTHRY 42-2079 67 61 0 183 HIGHLANDERS (1341)
SLASHING ATTACK MIKEL 6-6190 69 73 3 167 THE LADY'S LIST (917)
PARRY-RIPOSTE DIGITALIS 33-6862 28 29 1 156 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370)
STRIKING ATTACK FATALITY 7-5820 49 50 0 141 BRUTAL LEGION (1335)
The overall popularity leader is CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422. The most popular warrior
this turn was MAN-MOUNTAIN 7-3853. The ten other most popular fighters were ASSUR
18-7821, DIGITALIS 33-6862, STING 10-429, ZAKAU 5-4623, FATALITY 7-5820, JHAARAN
10-2017, E AHO LAULA 21-4224, ZEUS 62-4010, TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620, and PELIS THE
TRUE 42-3469.
The least popular fighter this week was MIKEL 6-6190. The other ten least popular
fighters were CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422, PHILTHRY 42-2079, GLAMDRING 33-2328, PELIS THE
TRUE 42-3469, TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620, ZEUS 62-4010, E AHO LAULA 21-4224, JHAARAN
10-2017, FATALITY 7-5820, and ZAKAU 5-4623.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
KALTOS(5) 1 0 0 TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 1 2 0
TRANSEL(6) 0 1 0 SUNSET(21) 1 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 0 1 0
BONSUR(7) 1 1 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 1 1 0 DWES EG(82) 0 1 0
KOLACT(10) 1 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZAKAU 5-4623 84 92 0 218 JOHNS (927) KALTOS
MIKEL 6-6190 69 73 3 167 THE LADY'S LIST (917) TRANSEL
FATALITY 7-5820 49 50 0 141 BRUTAL LEGION (1335) BONSUR
STING 10-429 35 30 2 212 THE HOLY LEGION (490) KOLACT
ASSUR 18-7821 81 132 2 207 ARROGANCE (732) TALCAMA
E AHO LAULA 21-4224 83 45 0 252 WIDER IS BETTER (1369) SUNSET
GLAMDRING 33-2328 45 31 1 200 OBSIDIAN HALL (1370) NIATOLI ISLAND
TOLAIS DEEPHEART 42-1620 172 167 0 196 HIGHLANDERS (1341) RODEKI
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZEUS 62-4010 58 43 0 175 LEGION OF LEGEND (1305) VALAMANTIS
CRACK IS CHEAP 82-18422 84 102 0 186 NEGATIVE CASH FLOW (1197) DWES EG
CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS
To clarify: You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided.
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space.
Make sure you include the ID!
* * * * * MEMO * * * * *
From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To: All Managers
In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have
up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch,
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the
Gladiatorial Commission.