AD

Date   : 07/14/2008    Duedate: 07/26/2008

ANDORAK

DM-105    TURN-483

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 26/9  509  335  9 60.3      DARK SIDE 43/970                      
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS 82/1045                   4-PUERCO'S PINA 53/669  486  394  5 55.2
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS 22/978                      ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/846            
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 82/1048                GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/396               
  2 SUPERIOR FOR 45/1030  585  391  2 59.9    5 X-FORCE 66/415       1502 2047 19 42.3
  3 TACO GODS 40/198     1160  833 19 58.2      DRAGONBALL Z 46/944                   
    THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! 82/993                  SCARLET KNIGHTS II 11/994             
    POSITIVELY PUTRID 71/940                    SCARLET KNIGHTS 11/902                
    DEATH STUDS VII 60/877                      RUBY DRAGONS 46/1006                  
    DEATH BY STUPIDITY 4/935                  6 GOLDEN CANYON 26/741  591 1028  9 36.5
    SAILS OF CHARON 63/1013                   7 MIKES 14/831          383  704 11 35.2
    DIAMONDS & RUST 68/820                

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #8 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the shores of a lake:

     Senator Sedalia and Gissanniah stood side by side on the shore and looked
around.  Across the water, along the shore each wah, at the woods behind them.
Mostly pine woods, where the forest on the Isle had been mostly broadleaf trees.
     "So, we're not on the Isle anymore, are we?"
     Sedalia shook his head.  "No.  Ah, do you feel that you should, perhaps, have a
small black dog at this point?"
     "What?"  She turned to stare at him.  "Why would I have a dog with me?"
     "Ah.  Well... just a passing thought," the senator said.  "But I do wonder if
we're still even in the same world as the Isle.  Well, we must be, so maybe I should
say, are we still in the same world as... Andor.  Iaye.  The places from which we
have come."
     "That might take some finding out."  Gissanniah looked around again, then
gestured to the left.  "Let's get moving and see what we can find out."
     Sedalia looked and shrugged.  Nothing to distinguish one direction from another,
so what difference did it make which way they went?  "Why not?" he said.

Tarrgir:

     Fandil stared at the man--he claimed to be an officer in a fire-control company-
-in shock and consternation.  "You didn't even TRY to put it out?"
     "Why should we?" the fireman answered.  "That 'military academy' was a hotbed of
beast-men and elves, agents of oppression of the true people of Convincia.  No skin
off OUR nose if they burned down."
     "But... fellow citizens of the Andorian League--"
     "That's a joke!"
     "But--"
     Lenpro put a hand on Fandil's arm.  "Leave it, my friend.  This man will have
good reasons for his position, and argument never changed anyone's mind."
     "But--"
     "The so-called 'Andorian League' is run by the elves and the beast-men," the
fireman said.  His tone was deadly serious.  "They set up a whole GUILD of spies and
assassins to enforce their rule and tried to persuade all us true humans that being
an assassin--that SCUM--was 'noble' and worthy of admiration!  What can you think
about people like that except that they're sick and wicked?"  He gestured at the
smoking remains of the military academy.  "So we're cleaning them out, and high
time."
     Fandil seemed incapable of response, which Lenpro decided was just as well.  The
old mage was a exceptionally idealistic man, and he believed in the Andorian League.
Lenpro believed in the League--or some form of union--also, but he was, he hoped,
honest enough to admit its flaws and inequities.  The League had been conceived as a
counter to the Delarquan Federation, but these days he thought people forgot that it
was not THE counter, not the only possible workable response.  And in a way, this
man's grievances were valid, or at least had elements of truth in them.  The king and
many of the highest lords had elven blood, a lot of it in some cases, and the Aruaki
did seem to be, at the least, very prominent in the military, besides occupying a
large and fertile territory within the League lands.  Add to that the Assassins'
Guild, the blackest blot on the Andorian culture, and he could see how it would look
to a normal human who spent most of his time working on a farm.  And with the total
disinterest shown by the king and the central government in recent problems....  He
sighed.  "I see where you're coming from," he said to the fireman, "but I don't think
the violence of your actions is going to do you much good in the long run."  He held
up his hand to stop the man's protest.  "In the end, violence may be necessary--who
can tell UNTIL the end?  But this is the beginning, and it's a bad precedent to set.
People will see this as bloody rebellion rather than rational protest."
     "The only people we care about are--"
     "What if the Delarquans or the Karnhorns come pouring over the borders to 'quell
turmoil that might spill over into their lands'?" Lenpro asked.  "If you've destroyed
the military, who will you call on for defense?"
     "Oh."  The fireman was silent for several minutes, obviously considering the new
angle.  Eventually he said, "We don't need to worry about the Delarquans, they'd have
to come through Ardivent and the Aruaki Clanholds to reach us.  But the Karnhorns...
might be a problem.  Huh.  Maybe we'd better think about this."
     "Do," Lenpro said.  "And remember that you COULD turn on your Aruaki and elven
allies later and destroy them--an act worthy of any assassin!  But if you destroy
them first, they'll never be allies."
     "We'll think about this," the fireman said again.
     "Do."  Lenpro took Fandil's arm and drew him away before he could make any of
the protests that were visibly forming in his mind.

Andor:

     Herlas cast his spell of convincing illusion on the golem-king, and it was a
good one if he said so himself.  Not that he would say it; for the first time in a
life that had contained many questionable and self-serving acts, he was deeply
ashamed of his work.  He wasn't sure why; he was not, after all, some kind of wild
patriot.  Was he?  Why had Korneth insisted on parading this fake king through the
streets of Andor?  Herlas had to be part of the parade in order to stay close to the
target for his spell, and it made him uncomfortable.  People lined the streets, but
there was no cheering.  No catcalls, either, just sober silence.  Or sullen silence.
Maybe some of them did believe they were seeing the king, but that didn't make them
happy.  The king was a stranger, hadn't been in Andor for years, and had done nothing
for 'his' country during those years.  Why should they be glad to see him?
     The golem rode in a carriage, waving occasionally but attempting nothing more.
Herlas had advised that minimalist stance; the golem just wouldn't have been
convincing if it had tried to smile.  Odd, really.  There were plenty of golems
around these days that couldn't be told from true-born people, so why hadn't Korneth
gotten one of the better ones?  Did he WANT to be found out?
     "That is not the king."  The voice was low, positive, dangerous.
     Herlas's hands twitched on the reins of the horse he was riding just behind the
carriage, but he managed (he hoped) a suitably casual air as he glanced to the side.
Damn.  Lady Protector Sir Crystal Fireblade, a royal knight.  He hadn't realized she
was in town.  Did Korneth know?  More important, what was he, Herlas, going to do?
The lady knight had a formidable reputation and had been pledged to serve the king
directly as his protector.  Hundreds of different calculations of the odds of this or
that tumbled through the mage's brain.  Finally he shrugged.  "No.  I argued against
this display, but..."
     "Where IS the king?"
     "I don't know.  I asked, early on.  Didn't get a clear answer, and... it was
made clear to me that I shouldn't ask again."
     A faint, ladylike snort.  "Probably not."  She was silent for a moment.  "I went
with the king to the Isle--some time ago.  He vanished.  Completely vanished.  I have
been hunting for him since then, on the Isle and in other places that can be reached
from there.  At first, there were rumors that he might have passed through.  Nothing
I could trace.  Then fewer rumors, then none.  Finally I came back."  Her voice was
bitter, and still dangerous.
     "I have heard some people say--whisper--that the king has sought his own
happiness in some other dimension where he can still have his princess wife with
him," Herlas offered.
     "If that should be true, I think the less of him for it," she snapped.  "It
isn't a king's business to seek his own happiness, especially at the expense of his
responsibilities to his people."
     Herlas did not say that such a sense of responsibility was hard to imagine.
Once it would have been, but lately he was beginning to wonder.  Still, if the king
truly was gone--or dead--and without heirs, what was there left?  "What do you
propose to do?" he asked.
     "It was not the king's intention to abandon Andoria, on that last trip to the
Isle," she said slowly.  "Mind you don't let your illusion slip!"
     Herlas adjusted it hastily.
     "So I think someone persuaded him--I do not know what means might have been
used, but it could have been done, I think--and whisked him away.  That person, I
will find."  Her hand clenched on the reins of her mount.  "Oh, yes, I will find him.
Or HER, if it was--"
     It was Herlas's turn to give warning.  The Grey Witch had ears everywhere.  "Do
not mention that person!"
     She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "Yes.  No names without proof."
     "And no vengeance without proof."  Gods, the irony that HE, Herlas of Zensu,
should be the one to argue prudence and fair dealing!  "And what good will it do
Andoria, when your vengeance has fallen on the deserving party?"
     "What?"
     "Who will be king then?  Or will the League fall apart and be subject to the
attacks of its neighbors--many of whom do not love it."
     "I hadn't thought beyond--  I don't know who will take the throne," the lady
knight said.  After a moment, she added, "We're facing a civil war, aren't we?"
     "I think so, yes.  That is why, one reason why, I have gone along with this
travesty."  He gestured at the golem.  "It buys a little time."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 298): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 597): ONEWOLF of WOLFBROTHERS (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 597): STEWART of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 590): DONDRIC of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 586): MORLIN POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 586): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 583): CALONYMUS of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 579): STONE COLD of WRESTLEMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 548): CHUCK ELVIS of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 539): GUNS OF BRIXTON of RADIO CLASH (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 530): BANNIR PARK of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 245): PAINFUL PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 432): DIMAGGIO oF 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 199): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 482): JOHN BOBBIT of DEATH BY STUPIDITY (The Sentinel, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 298): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 597): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 587): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 590): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 586): MEDAL OF HONOR F3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 586): BARHOPPERS II (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 583): ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 579): RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 548): MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 539): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 530): THE ZEN ZONE (Jondeaux, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 245): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 432): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 199): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 482): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 298): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 596): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                               DELIA'S GONE of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 597): STEWART of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
                          GINKOR of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 586): MORLIN POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 583): CALONYMUS of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
                           IRIS of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 578): WORLD CHUMPS of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
                         WINDSONG of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 547): PARTICLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 530): BANNIR PARK of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Oh, dear.  Debby Tonte took these notes, and her umbrella dripped on them.
Well, I'll do the best I can on this, the last run of Andorak before the summer
tourney.

     Teevella of Kellumbo's Kids was "MVP," after "getting 32 points."  Make of that
what you will.
     Superior Forces was avoided by Kellumbo's Kids.
     Lukarian Lamorak got the most challenges.
     There were twenty-one fights, which is respectable, especially since only three
standbys were involved.
     Eight challenge matches, one of them a tv challenge.

     SARINA (26-4220) (23-34-1,49) of GOLDEN CANYON fought YOGONITH (105-5) (0-0-
0,90) of Various Odds.  SARINA overpowered YOGONITH in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
Calamari, anyone?
     GO-FER (26-4444) (19-37-2,59) of GOLDEN CANYON fought SHINORR (105-1) (0-0-0,60)
of Various Odds.  GO-FER was demolished by SHINORR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
Ghastly greasy gopher guts.  Horrible.
     FRY GUY (40-3655) (22-10-0,86) of TACO GODS fought GOLDERIE (26-4657) (24-28-
1,53) of GOLDEN CANYON.  FRY GUY devastated GOLDERIE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
Does this mean no sopaipillas?
     BABY (43-2863) (26-35-2,60) of DARK SIDE fought DARNESHA (82-42015) (11-4-1,38)
of KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17.  BABY was overpowered by DARNESHA in a 1 minute mismatched
brawl.  How cruel, to hit a baby!  Not that some of the little buggers don't ask for
it.

     CONNOR MACLEOD (11-5532) (64-79-0,136) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought HERO, HERO
(68-446) (17-37-0,94) of DIAMONDS & RUST.  CONNOR MACLEOD was devastated by HERO,
HERO in a 1 minute uneven duel.  Beaten into the ground (or the sand) with a
sandwich.  At least it was a large sandwich.
     VAN HELSING (11-6338) (50-56-1,180) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought TEEVELLA (82-
24954) (18-4-1,129) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS.  VAN HELSING lost to TEEVELLA in a 2 minute
bout.  Impressive.
     TORNADO CXCVI (60-5111) (18-25-0,157) of DEATH STUDS VII fought WARDUKE (11-
5930) (55-70-3,180) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II.  TORNADO CXCVI was overpowered by WARDUKE
in a popular 1 minute mismatched conflict.  Another illusion shattered!  They told me
tornadoes could flatten anything.
     WOLVERINE (66-3871) (66-119-5,193) of X-FORCE fought JIMI (105-27) (0-0-0,240)
of Various Odds.  WOLVERINE was devastated by JIMI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-
sided battle.  No more holes in the lawn, eh?  Or was that some other animal?
Whatever.

     VISION (26-1573) (121-53-4,244) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS fought SEXTANT (63-2415) (17-
13-1,187) of SAILS OF CHARON.  VISION savagely defeated SEXTANT in a crowd pleasing 5
minute bloody match.  Don't blame me if you get lost at sea, Vision.
     VAJRA VALMEJAR (11-4928) (68-85-0,234) of SCARLET KNIGHTS fought DEATH FOG (45-
4017) (64-29-0,203) of SUPERIOR FORCES.  VAJRA VALMEJAR was handily defeated by DEATH
FOG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  Gas attack.
     BLIND GIRL (22-6041) (51-23-0,219) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS fought BLACKRAZOR (11-
4091) (66-139-1,205) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  BLIND GIRL defeated BLACKRAZOR in an
exciting 3 minute fight.  Another inpressive victory by an underdog.
     WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? (82-2893) (29-3-0,267) of THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! fought HUMMEL
(14-1404) (92-147-6,193) of MIKES.  WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? unbelievably bested HUMMEL in
an action packed 7 minute fight.  Believe it.
     SMITH (14-1282) (93-148-4,226) of MIKES fought TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD (11-4304)
(81-110-0,210) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  SMITH vanquished TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD in a 1
minute uneven duel.  Some things are stronger than the strongest shield.

The challenge matches:
     FALCON XLI (60-7341) (17-10-3,72) of DEATH STUDS VII challenged LORIS KEY (26-
4706) (20-27-1,60) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Down 12.  FALCON XLI handily defeated LORIS KEY
in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.  Don't blame me if she calls you a hard-boiled
egg, Falcon.
     NAFISAH (22-6612) (30-16-1,139) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN
(46-3809) (56-60-1,150) of RUBY DRAGONS.  Up 11.  NAFISAH devastated KHORNE
SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.  It gives me a certain pleasure
to see the fossils crack.
     OOZING ORIFICES (71-3475) (16-3-1,154) of POSITIVELY PUTRID challenged CLEMMIE
(26-4630) (28-35-1,168) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Up 14.  OOZING ORIFICES devastated CLEMMIE
in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.  Time to have that kitchen inspected.
     GRANDPA RAT (22-6549) (48-25-3,203) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged SANDS (11-
4123) (67-136-3,196) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Down 7.  GRANDPA RAT narrowly defeated
SANDS in a 2 minute Challenge competition.  Doesn't matter if it's narrow, the key is
that it's a defeat.
     GIMETHATSHIELD (26-1306) (76-67-1,198) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged LUKARIAN
LAMORAK (11-4841) (68-90-1,190) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Down 8.  GIMETHATSHIELD defeated
LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
     LUCIAS CLAY (22-6359) (59-36-1,325) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged NIXIE
SEASPRITE (11-4992) (66-77-1,188) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Down 137.  LUCIAS CLAY won
victory over NIXIE SEASPRITE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.  I believe we have some
gladiators here who should be off to Primus.

     Congratulations to Jackson for having a tv.  JACKSON (22-6649) (24-2-0,89) of
KELLUMBO'S KIDS TV challenged SOLARIS (46-3759) (35-86-0,53) of RUBY DRAGONS.  Down
36.  JACKSON devastated SOLARIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  It's hard
to feel sympathy for someone with 121 fights and only 53 points.

For the title:
     JOHN BOBBIT (4-3769) (44-47-2,246) of DEATH BY STUPIDITY challenged GOKU (46-
3655) (91-74-2,212) of DRAGONBALL Z.  Down 34.  JOHN BOBBIT was vanquished by GOKU in
a 2 minute uneven Challenge Title battle.  Congratulations to Goku.

                                       Ardane

THE KING'S SENTINEL           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GOKU 46-3655                92  74  2  225  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LUCIAS CLAY 22-6359         60  36  1  330  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
-STELLA BLUE 53-6167         55  28  1  288  PUERCO'S PINATA (669)      KHALHUMS
 WHERE'S MY TOURNEY 82-2893  30   3  0  273  THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)  DWES EG
 VISION 26-1573             122  53  4  251  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (9)        CALEAM
 SMITH 14-1282               94 148  4  236  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 BLIND GIRL 22-6041          52  23  0  224  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           65  29  0  213  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
-SNAKE CHARMER 22-6169       47  23  0  212  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GRANDPA RAT 22-6549         49  25  3  208  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
-POETIC JUICE 66-2975        77  47  0  206  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (846)  TARRGIR
 BLACKRAZOR 11-4091          66 140  1  205  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 SEXTANT 63-2415             17  14  1  205  SAILS OF CHARON (1013)     AMEN-TEI
 GIMETHATSHIELD 26-1306      77  67  1  202  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (9)        CALEAM
 HUMMEL 14-1404              92 148  6  200  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928      68  86  0  199  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 SANDS 11-4123               67 137  3  198  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 JOHN BOBBIT 4-3769          44  48  2  195  DEATH BY STUPIDITY (935)   JHELUM
 NIXIE SEASPRITE 11-4992     66  78  1  193  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
-AXLY HIMSELF 11-2363       111  74  1  190  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (396)     ARUAK CITY
 TALISMAN SHIELDGUA 11-4304  81 111  0  190  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 LUKARIAN LAMORAK 11-4841    68  91  1  190  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
-BLITZKRIEG XXIII 60-5503    27  21  1  190  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
-LEADFOOT 40-3516            29  21  0  188  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           66 120  5  185  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 WARDUKE 11-5930             56  70  3  185  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OOZING ORIFICES 71-3475     17   3  1  171  POSITIVELY PUTRID (940)    KYR'TERR
 TEEVELLA 82-24954           19   4  1  161  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1045)     DWES EG
 NAFISAH 22-6612             31  16  1  155  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 CLEMMIE 26-4630             28  36  1  155  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 VAN HELSING 11-6338         50  57  1  153  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       18  26  0  153  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN 46-3809  56  61  1  138  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT
 HERO, HERO 68-446           18  37  0  125  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 CONNOR MACLEOD 11-5532      64  80  0  105  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JACKSON 22-6649             25   2  0   91  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRY GUY 40-3655             23  10  0   88  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU
 SARINA 26-4220              24  34  1   80  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 FALCON XLI 60-7341          18  10  3   80  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 DARNESHA 82--23521          12   4  1   60  KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 (1048 DWES EG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SOLARIS 46-3759             35  87  0   58  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT
 LORIS KEY 26-4706           20  28  1   55  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 GOLDERIE 26-4657            24  29  1   54  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 GO-FER 26-4444              19  38  2   49  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 BABY 43-2863                26  36  2   41  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

We had planned to take the terse route used last time in doing our personals this
week, however, Jorja was, ah, forcefully determined to have us do the Whole
Enchilada.  Have you ever been to the Whole Enchilada Festival?  The centerpiece is
at least six feet across.  I told her--Jorja--that we didn't have tortillas big
enough, nor any apparatus big enough, but she wouldn't listen.  She really good at
not listening.  So bear with us as we attempt to make a Whole Enchilada out of lots
of little tortillas.  We won't insist that you eat any. -- Clemmie, for Golden Canyon

Nafisah -- We did actually use a bathtub for mixing the sauce, and considering the
intra-team fight we had over that sauce, well, you wouldn't have wanted to be in that
tub!  The central issue of that particular argument was "green or red?"  Very few
chile sauces get as hot as that debate!  And I don't mean just among us, it's a hot
topic, if you will permit me the pun.  But I eventually carried the day with green,
which may have encouraged me to the extent that I defeated you, hard to say.  Anyway,
I offer you a free "all you can eat" pass to the Whole Enchilada. -- Clemmie

Hero, Hero -- I told Clemmie that people here wouldn't go for ethnic, at least, not
on that scale, and we should just do sandwiches, but she never listens.  She's as bad
as Jorja that way. -- Go-Fer

Falcon -- That seems kind of like a thunderbird.  Do you do ethnic dances?  Clemmie
told me I could either come up with some ethnics to dance around the enchilada and
"fly from poles" or make guacamole.  Now, I like guacamole, but have you ever tried
to find avocados here on the Isle?  The greengrocers have NO clue. -- Golderie

Baby -- You're no help!  Where am I going to find antojitos on short notice? --
Sarina

Fry Guy -- Oh, good!  I was hoping you'd show up.  We need all sorts of stuff fried.
And refried, not that I care if we pass on that one.  But what I'm really looking for
is sopaipillas, if that can be managed.  You up for it? -- Loris Key, powdering sugar
and cinnamon to dust 'em with, and somebody had better find me some honey TODAY

Ardane -- You're invited.  Bring your own sour cream. -- Clemmie

     Ah, thank you.  Why do I want sour cream?

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JACKSON devastated SOLARIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
JOHN BOBBIT was vanquished by GOKU in a 2 minute uneven Challenge Title battle.
LUCIAS CLAY won victory over NIXIE SEASPRITE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
GIMETHATSHIELD defeated LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
GRANDPA RAT narrowly defeated SANDS in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
OOZING ORIFICES devastated CLEMMIE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
NAFISAH devastated KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
FALCON XLI handily defeated LORIS KEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SMITH vanquished TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? unbelievably bested HUMMEL in a action packed 7 minute fight.
BLIND GIRL defeated BLACKRAZOR in a exciting 3 minute fight.
VAJRA VALMEJAR was handily defeated by DEATH FOG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
VISION savagely defeated SEXTANT in a crowd pleasing 5 minute bloody match.
WOLVERINE was devastated by JIMI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
TORNADO CXCVI was overpowered by WARDUKE in a popular 1 minute mismatched conflict.
VAN HELSING lost to TEEVELLA in a 2 minute bout.
CONNOR MACLEOD was devastated by HERO, HERO in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BABY was overpowered by DARNESHA in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
FRY GUY devastated GOLDERIE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GO-FER was demolished by SHINORR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SARINA overpowered YOGONITH in a 1 minute mismatched fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         AIMED BLOW        40 -  18 -  0      69  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    40 -  24 -  2      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         TOTAL PARRY       22 -  14 -  0      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  16 -  1      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  33 -  2      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  14 -  0      33  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -  23 -  1      23  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL      8 -  28 -  0      22  |

Turn 483 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  3         3  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  4         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  4                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       GOKU 46-3655               92  74  2  225 DRAGONBALL Z (944)
LUNGING ATTACK   LUCIAS CLAY 22-6359        60  36  1  330 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
TOTAL PARRY      WHERE'S MY TOURNE 82-2893  30   3  0  273 THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)
PARRY-STRIKE     SMITH 14-1282              94 148  4  236 MIKES (831)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GRANDPA RAT 22-6549        49  25  3  208 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
WALL OF STEEL    BLACKRAZOR 11-4091         66 140  1  205 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
PARRY-LUNGE      HUMMEL 14-1404             92 148  6  200 MIKES (831)
STRIKING ATTACK  VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928     68  86  0  199 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
SLASHING ATTACK  SANDS 11-4123              67 137  3  198 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
BASHING ATTACK   CLEMMIE 26-4630            28  36  1  155 GOLDEN CANYON (741)

The overall popularity leader is VISION 26-1573.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HUMMEL 14-1404.  The ten other most popular fighters were SEXTANT 63-2415, VISION 
26-1573, GOKU 46-3655, BLACKRAZOR 11-4091, WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? 82-2893, LUCIAS CLAY 
22-6359, GRANDPA RAT 22-6549, TEEVELLA 82-24954, JACKSON 22-6649, and NIXIE SEASPRITE 
11-4992.

The least popular fighter this week was GO-FER 26-4444.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GOLDERIE 26-4657, BABY 43-2863, CONNOR MACLEOD 11-5532, VAJRA VALMEJAR 
11-4928, LORIS KEY 26-4706, CLEMMIE 26-4630, SOLARIS 46-3759, TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111, 
WOLVERINE 66-3871, and TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD 11-4304.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  ZENSU(40)            1  0 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         0  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  8 0  VEASTIAN(43)         0  1 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  1 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         1  0 0  
SOLVEN(22)           5  0 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  2 0  KYR'TERR(71)         1  0 0  
CALEAM(26)           3  4 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JOHN BOBBIT 4-3769          44  48  2  195  DEATH BY STUPIDITY (935)   JHELUM
 BLACKRAZOR 11-4091          66 140  1  205  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 SMITH 14-1282               94 148  4  236  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 LUCIAS CLAY 22-6359         60  36  1  330  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 VISION 26-1573             122  53  4  251  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (9)        CALEAM
 FRY GUY 40-3655             23  10  0   88  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU
 BABY 43-2863                26  36  2   41  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           65  29  0  213  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
 GOKU 46-3655                92  74  2  225  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       18  26  0  153  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 SEXTANT 63-2415             17  14  1  205  SAILS OF CHARON (1013)     AMEN-TEI
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           66 120  5  185  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 HERO, HERO 68-446           18  37  0  125  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 OOZING ORIFICES 71-3475     17   3  1  171  POSITIVELY PUTRID (940)    KYR'TERR
 WHERE'S MY TOURNEY 82-2893  30   3  0  273  THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)  DWES EG