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Date   : 12/29/2008    Duedate: 01/10/2009

ANDORAK

DM-105    TURN-495

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 KELLUMBO'S KI 22/978  589  358 10 62.2      DARK SIDE 43/970                      
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS 82/1045                   4 X-FORCE 66/415       1560 2145 21 42.1
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 82/1051                DRAGONBALL Z 46/944                   
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 82/1048                SCARLET KNIGHTS II 11/994             
  2 SUPERIOR FOR 45/1030  597  396  2 60.1      SCARLET KNIGHTS 11/902                
    SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 60/1050                RUBY DRAGONS 46/1006                  
  3 TACO GODS 40/198     1183  870 19 57.6    5 GOLDEN CANYON 26/741  621 1058 10 37.0
    THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! 82/993                6 MIKES 14/831          395  716 12 35.6
    DEATH STUDS VII 60/877                    7-NO-HALF STEP 14/1053    1    0  0  100
    DIAMONDS & RUST 68/820                

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #20 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Fratsfa:

     Lenpro was no magician, but he could tell that something had happened...even if
two men over in the corner hadn't been screaming and holding their heads.  Something
magical, probably.  He put down his beer, took the glass out of Dandy's hand--he
didn't want to know what weird concoction was in it--and stood.  "We have to get back
to the Flower Shoppe," he said.  "Fandil may need me."
                         *****   ***   *****   ***   *****
     Fandil was okay.  That was a relief, but not entirely unexpected.  His brother
was tough, and experienced; he would know how to defend himself.  Against...whatever
that had been.  He raised an eyebrow inquiringly.
     "I don't know either," Fandil said.  "Some kind of magical barrier, yes.  But
whether it's intended to seal up the magical activity of Fratsfa, or block magical
communication with somewhere else--Andor, for instance, or what exactly was
intended...?"  He shrugged.  "I don't know who, I don't know why.  But I think we
need to go to Andor physically and soon."
     "I thought you were concerned about the safety of Emperor Alonj," Lady Fern
said.
     "We are," Lenpro answered quickly.  "But I would think we could leave that in
your capable hands, sister."
     Fern frowned but nodded.  "I'll take care of it."

Amen-Tei:

     Senator Sedalia looked at his hands and sighed.  The oars had rubbed them into
blisters, despite the gloves he'd worn.  His back ached.  And he loathed the clothing
that went with his costume.  Would anyone here in Amen-Tei seriously believe that he
was an itinerant peddler?  At least the gods favored him in one thing, and Senator
Dole was no longer resident in this town.  He couldn't have fooled Dole for a minute;
one senator always knew another.
     Sedalia had argued with the demon on the Black Ship, Tashkemk, that this
masquerade was unnecessary and would be unconvincing, but arguing with demons turned
out to be monumentally unproductive.  In a human, the senator would have suspected a
simple enthusiasm for the theatrical, but did that apply to demons?  But the worst
was that Tashkemk had insisted that the senator's companion, Gissanniah, remain on
the Black Ship as a hostage for his, Sedalia's, performance.  Dammit, he had given
the demon his WORD.  If they couldn't trust him, why employ him on this fool's
errand?  And when he'd asked what guarantee HE had of the young woman's safety, the
demon had just LAUGHED.
     All of which put the senator in a really bad mood, so that when a dockhand
slouched up and sneered at the wretched little boat, skiff, whatever was the proper
term, why, he let fly with some harsh language that would have blistered the hide on
a rhinoceros.  Which, Sedalia pointed out in a calmer afterthought, the dockhand
rather resembled--big, ugly, stupid, with a misshapen nose, and a singularly unlovely
attitude.
     It turned out that this was precisely the way one should approach sneering
dockhands, and the fellow tethered the vessel to the dock in some appropriate
manner--Sedalia didn't want to know the details--and helped unload the cargo.
     The senator didn't care about most of the cargo.  Yes, it was valuable, but it
was just stuff, and a man who couldn't pour out wealth to achieve a goal had no
business in politics.  Still, it wouldn't do to let the dockhand think he had secret
agendas, so he asked questions about rental space and then watched closely while the
cargo was loaded on a cart, hauled to a sturdy warehouse, and stored in a sealed
room.  One leather case with a shoulder strap and brass fastenings he kept with him.
     Cargo dealt with, Sedalia's next goal was a dockside tavern called the Pig's
Eye.  He had no great hopes of it but found the place cleaner than he'd expected,
busy but not raucous.  Of course, he had no inherent objection to "raucous,"
political conventions were always like that.  But which of these rather ordinary
looking people was his contact?  What would a demon's contact look like, anyway?  It
couldn't be another demon, surely, not here in the open.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): GOLDENEYE of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 609): THUNK of TECNHO 8 (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 609): WHOLE MUTT of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 602): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 598): TCHENI LOY of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 598): TRELLIN XISS of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 595): HEART BREAKER of ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 591): PRINCE POLIOLES of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 560): GRUNT 3 of MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 551): GHETTO DEFENDANT of RADIO CLASH (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 542): BLUE KNIGHT of THE TASKMASTERS (Blueface, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 251): SIZZLING SUNFLOWER of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 441): CRUZIA GARDETT of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 205): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 464): SNAKE CHARMER of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 609): TECHNO 8 (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 609): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 602): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 598): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 598): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 595): ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 591): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 560): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 551): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 542): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 251): ZERO (Ice Man, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 441): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 205): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 493): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): GOLDENEYE of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
               (turn 303): ROCK GLAS HUT FUN of ORCISH IDIOMS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 609): SILVER SNAIL of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               ERITHE ENDIREDRE of PATRONAS VERITAS (Ichabod
                               Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                   (turn 608): HORSELFY of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 591): PRINCE POLIOLES of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
             (turn 590): BROTHER J.J. of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 560): NORM THE GNOME of GUARDIANS II (Twig, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 541): SHELLEY of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 441): CRUZIA GARDETT of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                          Reflections by the King's Sentinel

Just wanted to take a quick moment this holiday season to send out a big thank you to
the person who writes the spy report each cycle.  Even though you don't get a lot of
feedback, Kellumbo's Kids certainly looks forward to the human element every few
weeks.  Thanks, you rock.

-- Kellumbo's Kids

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Our last meeting of the calendar year, should I get sentimental?  No, probably
not.  A year, divided as ours is, that's pretty arbitrary.  Artificial, if you will.
But I'll take a minute to thank Kellumbo's Kids for the comment in the Sentinel's
column.  It helps to know someone does read this stuff.  Thanks.

On to the business of the day:
     That Totally Sucks! was most avoided, with Kellumbo's Kids avoiding them most,
and who can blame them?  If the situation is that rotten, I'd avoid 'em, too.
     Khorne Shadowspawn "got more challenges than the duelmaster."  Since the title
fight was a random match, this is perhaps less telling a statement than it might be
elsewhere.  Still, the Shadowspawn got the most challenges.  And what could be more
appropriate as the sun returns and the days begin to get longer, eh?
     We had, I believe this is "again," nineteen fights, which is excellent.  You
have only to look at Home Guard to know HOW excellent.  Only two standbys on the
sands, much better than some seasons have been.  Eight challenges were issued.

The fights:
     BABY (43-2863) (26-47-2,42) of DARK SIDE fought GO-FER (26-4444) (27-41-2,82) of
GOLDEN CANYON.  BABY was beaten by GO-FER in a 2 minute match.  Three times in a row?
Our Handicapper, not-so-dear old Harlogen Dri'ith, must really have it in for Baby!
What has this peculiar infant done to earn such a vendetta?
     SOLARIS (46-3759) (35-98-0,52) of RUBY DRAGONS fought GOLDERIE (26-4657) (31-33-
1,74) of GOLDEN CANYON.  SOLARIS was savagely defeated by GOLDERIE in an exciting 3
minute brutal bout.  I have no doubt that this victory will improve Golderie's mood
enormously, to the benefit of the gourmands of Andorak.  I can hardly wait!
     MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! (60-8618) (18-7-1,82) of SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 fought LORIS KEY
(26-4706) (24-35-2,80) of GOLDEN CANYON.  MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! was bested by LORIS KEY
in a 2 minute brawl.  So, is this a case of Loris feeling really mean after her death
last time?  But what can one possibly be inspired to make by a name like
Mgrwonthe1sttogs!?  The imagination boggles.  Alphabet soup, perhaps.
     VAN HELSING (11-6338) (54-64-1,150) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought BUTTERHEAD
(105-11) (0-0-0,150) of Some Old Mimes.  VAN HELSING viciously subdued BUTTERHEAD in
an exciting 3 minute bloody fray.  Now, this is an intriguing development.  I don't
believe I've seen Butterhead on the sands here in years.  Too bad there wasn't a chef
involved, I do like butter cookies.  Butter horns.  Butterflake dinner rolls.  Fresh
bread with butter melting into it.  You get the picture.
     CONNOR MACLEOD (11-5532) (70-85-0,167) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought TORNADO
CXCVI (60-5111) (20-35-0,138) of DEATH STUDS VII.  CONNOR MACLEOD was vanquished by
TORNADO CXCVI in a 1 minute mismatched bout.  Yes, well, 'tis the season.  We've had
our first, or maybe I should say our last?  We've had tornado watches over the
weekend.  Quite urgent ones, though I would, given the choice, prefer not to watch.
They make me nervous.

     SANDS (11-4123) (71-144-3,180) of SCARLET KNIGHTS fought FRY GUY (40-3655) (28-
16-0,107) of TACO GODS.  SANDS overpowered FRY GUY in a popular 1 minute mismatched
conflict.  Sand in the deep-frying kettle is not an image to hearten a diner.  Hard
on the teeth, sand.  Don't eat it.
     SMITH (14-1282) (100-153-4,194) of MIKES fought LUKARIAN LAMORAK (11-4841) (71-
99-1,207) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  SMITH was subdued by LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 2 minute 
brawl.  Fossil fight.  I suppose Smith wasn't paying attention.  Too many of these
old gladiators seem to have their minds, assuming they have minds at all, on other
things before, during, and after the fights.  Just marking time, it seems.  Until
what, who knows?  An invasion from the Chaos Dimensions?
     WOLVERINE (66-3871) (73-124-6,204) of X-FORCE fought JIMI (105-27) (0-0-0,240)
of Some Old Mimes.  WOLVERINE was devastated by JIMI in an exciting 1 minute
mismatched conflict.  Complacency at work.  I can just hear Wolverine brushing off
the match as "another standby fight."  It's easy to forget that the standbys are
people, too.  Sometimes they get tired of losing.
     DEATH FOG (45-4017) (68-32-0,190) of SUPERIOR FORCES fought TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD
(11-4304) (84-119-0,185) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  DEATH FOG defeated TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD
in an exciting 1 minute match.  This is the sort of match that moves one to raunchy
speculation.  The Commission clerks wrote their speculations all over the notes they
handed me, but I think, in the interests of not grossing out my readers, I will not
repeat them.  You can probably imagine your own comments here.  If you have that kind
of mind.
     VAJRA VALMEJAR (11-4928) (74-91-0,203) of SCARLET KNIGHTS fought HUMMEL (14-
1404) (97-154-7,206) of MIKES.  VAJRA VALMEJAR was beaten by HUMMEL in a popular 1
minute melee.  Pummeled by Hummel?  Why not, a little euphony makes a change.

The challenge matches (and you will note that, as usual, all challenges were issued
by Kellumbo's Kids):
     SALEM (82-42046) (18-8-0,95) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 challenged SARINA (26-4220)
(31-38-1,140) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Up 45.  SALEM won victory over SARINA in a popular 1
minute Challenge duel.  This is where complacency gets you, Sarina.  A big up-
challenge isn't the same as an easy win for the high dog in the match.  Not that I'd
call you a dog.
     NAFISAH (22-6612) (38-20-1,171) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged CLEMMIE (26-4630)
(29-46-1,117) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Down 54.  NAFISAH overpowered CLEMMIE in an action
packed 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.  Does this mean that Clemmie has to cook
whatever Nafisah wants?  Could be interesting.
     DARNESHA (82-42015) (22-5-1,177) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 challenged WARDUKE (11-
5930) (60-77-3,165) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II.  Down 12.  DARNESHA devastated WARDUKE in
a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.  Hey, if you can win against
someone with that much more experience, yeah, okay, and no managerial attention, I
say go for it, Darnesha.  This Warduke is plainly headed for fossil-dom anyway.
     JACKSON (22-6649) (32-6-0,195) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged NIXIE SEASPRITE
(11-4992) (70-85-1,217) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Up 22.  JACKSON was devastated by NIXIE
SEASPRITE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.  Hard luck, Jackson, you caught the
Seasprite on a day when she was "up" for the fight.

     TEEVELLA (82-24954) (27-6-1,184) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged HERO, HERO (68-
446) (26-40-0,182) of DIAMONDS & RUST.  Down 2.  TEEVELLA defeated HERO, HERO in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.  Close, very close, but fast.  The kind of
thing that would have the observers calling for "instant replay," if we had instant
replay.
     GRANDPA RAT (22-6549) (54-31-3,199) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged KHORNE
SHADOWSPAWN (46-3809) (60-68-1,202) of RUBY DRAGONS.  Up 3.  GRANDPA RAT vanquished
KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.  Ah.  Bite the Korney
one, Gramps!  Chew him up.  Spitting him out afterward is optional.
     MAXIMUS (22-5966) (69-43-4,286) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged WHERE'S MY
TOURNEY? (82-2893) (37-7-0,211) of THAT TOTALLY SUCKS!  Down 75.  And what's WMT
going to say about it?  "That totally sucks!"?  MAXIMUS vanquished WHERE'S MY
TOURNEY? in an exciting 5 minute uneven Challenge battle.  I dunno where the loser's
tourney is, but things DO get lost in the mail.  I've seen it happen myself.
     BLIND GIRL (22-6041) (61-25-0,216) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged BLACKRAZOR (11-
4091) (68-149-2,207) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Down 9.  BLIND GIRL bested BLACKRAZOR in a
crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight.  Blunt the blade, Blind.  Besides, he's so
old he's probably rusty anyway.

For the title:
     SNAKE CHARMER (22-6169) (57-23-0,268) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS fought GOKU (46-3655)
(98-79-2,233) of DRAGONBALL Z.  SNAKE CHARMER was viciously subdued by GOKU in a
popular 7 minute gory Title duel.  Bad loss, Snake Charmer.  You going to come back
and try again?  Or one of your teammates, maybe?
     Tune in next year to see!

                                       Ardane

THE KING'S SENTINEL           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GOKU 46-3655                99  79  2  258  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAXIMUS 22-5966             70  43  4  314  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 NIXIE SEASPRITE 11-4992     71  85  1  239  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 BLIND GIRL 22-6041          62  25  0  222  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 HUMMEL 14-1404              98 154  7  212  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 LUKARIAN LAMORAK 11-4841    72  99  1  211  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 GRANDPA RAT 22-6549         55  31  3  211  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACKRAZOR 11-4091          68 150  2  207  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 SNAKE CHARMER 22-6169       57  24  0  201  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 WHERE'S MY TOURNEY 82-2893  37   8  0  200  THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)  DWES EG
 VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928      74  92  0  195  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           69  32  0  195  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
 KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN 46-3809  60  69  1  195  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT
 SMITH 14-1282              100 154  4  192  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 TALISMAN SHIELDGUA 11-4304  84 120  0  191  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           73 125  6  190  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 TEEVELLA 82-24954           28   6  1  189  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1045)     DWES EG
 DARNESHA 82--23521          23   5  1  187  KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 (1048 DWES EG
 JACKSON 22-6649             32   7  0  186  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 HERO, HERO 68-446           26  41  0  184  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 SANDS 11-4123               72 144  3  182  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NAFISAH 22-6612             39  20  1  173  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 WARDUKE 11-5930             60  78  3  164  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       21  35  0  163  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 VAN HELSING 11-6338         55  64  1  158  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CONNOR MACLEOD 11-5532      70  86  0  142  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY
-100% 14-4429                22  14  2  140  NO-HALF STEPPING (1053)    TOBIR
 CLEMMIE 26-4630             29  47  1  126  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 SALEM 82--23490             19   8  0  124  KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 (1051 DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SARINA 26-4220              31  39  1  116  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 FRY GUY 40-3655             28  17  0  115  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LORIS KEY 26-4706           25  35  2   93  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GO-FER 26-4444              28  41  2   84  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 GOLDERIE 26-4657            32  33  1   76  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! 60-8618   18   8  1   76  SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (1050 ARADI
 SOLARIS 46-3759             35  99  0   53  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT
 BABY 43-2863                26  48  2   47  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Connor Macleod -- I wonder if it would be possible to smother you in meringue?  I
find the concept appealing, except that cleaning up a meringue dish big enough to
smother you would be such a pain.  But what is it they say?  Ah, "No pain, no gain."
I'll have to start collecting eggs. -- Clemmie

     Seems like a waste of good meringue to me.

Fry Guy -- THIS time, I had all my ducks in a row, and if you think that was easy,
well, the only thing I can imagine that would be harder would be trying to get CATS
in a row.  But it was all set up: the kettle of hot fat, the tongs, the paper towels
to drain the fry-breads, the powdered sugar and cinnamon to spring on after.
Delicious.  Let's do this again. -- Sarina

Baby -- Yep, if my teammates insist that I cook, I'll do roasted baby with an apple
in the mouth and an orange-and-honey glaze.  Of course, since you're a golem, this
may not work out as well as one would hope. -- Go-Fer

     Does one hope for this to work out well?

Argh!  Strangled by a tentacle!  Can yogoniths be cooked like lobster: dropped live
into boiling water?  The idea has great appeal. -- Loris Key

Well, Ohrlam seems to be getting into the spirit of things.  He brought me a wheel of
his signature cheese.  A little fancy for my taste, I'm a plain-cheddar sort, but
still, I should be able to do something good with it.  Maybe ruebens, or however
they're spelled.  But really light on the sauerkraut, maybe just pickles instead? --
Golderie

     If you're going to make a rueben, the sauerkraut is mandatory.

Ardane -- An alligator pear?  Not a bad idea, if I can get one that's just exactly
ripe.  My teammates assure me that freshness and ripeness in fruits is critical, and
I wouldn't want to do it wrong, after all. -- Go-Fer
P.S.  And the glaze, instead of honey and orange, honey and red pepper, with a hint
of lemon.
P.P.S.  I didn't come up with that myself, I read it in a cookbook.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLIND GIRL bested BLACKRAZOR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge fight.
MAXIMUS vanquished WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? in a exciting 5 minute uneven Challenge battle.
GRANDPA RAT vanquished KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
TEEVELLA defeated HERO, HERO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
JACKSON was devastated by NIXIE SEASPRITE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DARNESHA devastated WARDUKE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
NAFISAH overpowered CLEMMIE in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
SALEM won victory over SARINA in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
SNAKE CHARMER was viciously subdued by GOKU in a popular 7 minute gory Title duel.
VAJRA VALMEJAR was beaten by HUMMEL in a popular 1 minute melee.
DEATH FOG defeated TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD in a exciting 1 minute match.
WOLVERINE was devastated by JIMI in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SMITH was subdued by LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 2 minute brawl.
SANDS overpowered FRY GUY in a popular 1 minute mismatched conflict.
CONNOR MACLEOD was vanquished by TORNADO CXCVI in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
VAN HELSING viciously subdued BUTTERHEAD in a exciting 3 minute bloody fray.
MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! was bested by LORIS KEY in a 2 minute brawl.
SOLARIS was savagely defeated by GOLDERIE in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout.
BABY was beaten by GO-FER in a 2 minute match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       6         TOTAL PARRY       33 -  17 -  1      66  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        29 -  19 -  1      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  14 -  0      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  24 -  0      55  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  14 -  1      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  16 -  0      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  12 -  0      43  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  38 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  13 -  0      35  |

Turn 495 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         4  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       GOKU 46-3655               99  79  2  258 DRAGONBALL Z (944)
TOTAL PARRY      MAXIMUS 22-5966            70  43  4  314 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
WALL OF STEEL    NIXIE SEASPRITE 11-4992    71  85  1  239 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
PARRY-LUNGE      HUMMEL 14-1404             98 154  7  212 MIKES (831)
LUNGING ATTACK   LUKARIAN LAMORAK 11-4841   72  99  1  211 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GRANDPA RAT 22-6549        55  31  3  211 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
STRIKING ATTACK  VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928     74  92  0  195 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
PARRY-STRIKE     SMITH 14-1282             100 154  4  192 MIKES (831)
SLASHING ATTACK  WOLVERINE 66-3871          73 125  6  190 X-FORCE (415)
BASHING ATTACK   HERO, HERO 68-446          26  41  0  184 DIAMONDS & RUST (820)

The overall popularity leader is GOKU 46-3655.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GOKU 46-3655.  The ten other most popular fighters were MAXIMUS 22-5966, 
BLACKRAZOR 11-4091, GOLDERIE 26-4657, VAN HELSING 11-6338, DARNESHA 82--23521, 
WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? 82-2893, DEATH FOG 45-4017, LORIS KEY 26-4706, GRANDPA RAT 
22-6549, and WARDUKE 11-5930.

The least popular fighter this week was JACKSON 22-6649.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN 46-3809, SOLARIS 46-3759, CONNOR MACLEOD 11-5532, 
WOLVERINE 66-3871, CLEMMIE 26-4630, BABY 43-2863, MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! 60-8618, TORNADO 
CXCVI 60-5111, FRY GUY 40-3655, and VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
ARUAK CITY(11)       4  5 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  1 0  VEASTIAN(43)         0  1 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  1 0  
SOLVEN(22)           4  2 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         0  1 0  
CALEAM(26)           3  2 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  2 0  DWES EG(82)          3  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NIXIE SEASPRITE 11-4992     71  85  1  239  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 HUMMEL 14-1404              98 154  7  212  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 MAXIMUS 22-5966             70  43  4  314  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 CLEMMIE 26-4630             29  47  1  126  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 FRY GUY 40-3655             28  17  0  115  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU
 BABY 43-2863                26  48  2   47  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           69  32  0  195  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
 GOKU 46-3655                99  79  2  258  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       21  35  0  163  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           73 125  6  190  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 HERO, HERO 68-446           26  41  0  184  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 WHERE'S MY TOURNEY 82-2893  37   8  0  200  THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)  DWES EG