AD

Date   : 01/12/2009    Duedate: 01/24/2009

ANDORAK

DM-105    TURN-496

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 KELLUMBO'S KI 22/978  595  362 10 62.2      DEATH STUDS VII 60/877                
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS 82/1045                     DIAMONDS & RUST 68/820                
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 82/1051                DARK SIDE 43/970                      
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 82/1048              4 X-FORCE 66/415       1566 2152 21 42.1
    KELLUMBO'S KIDS 81/1054                     DRAGONBALL Z 46/944                   
  2 SUPERIOR FOR 45/1030  601  396  2 60.3      SCARLET KNIGHTS II 11/994             
    SUPERIOR FORCES 3J 65/1031                  SCARLET KNIGHTS 11/902                
    SUPERIOR FORCES 2G 68/991                   RUBY DRAGONS 46/1006                  
    SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 60/1050              5 GOLDEN CANYON 26/741  624 1060 10 37.1
  3 TACO GODS 40/198     1185  873 19 57.6    6 MIKES 14/831          395  718 12 35.5
    THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! 82/993            

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #21 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Fratsfa:

     "Okay," Lenpro said, "we have to go to Andor.  We figured we'd need to do that
eventually.  Why sooner?"
     "Because someone doesn't want us to," Fandil said.  "That, I think, is what the
magical barrier--it's still there, and it must be using an enormous amount of energy
to maintain--that's what it's all about.  Cutting off Andor from Fratsfa."
     "From you?"
     The old mage shrugged.  "I don't know.  Maybe.  Or cutting off a magician there
IN Andor who is seeking help from Fratsfa.  Or both."
     "Or even for some reason you haven't thought of," Lady Fern said, "and the
effects you mentioned are secondary."
     Both men scowled at her.  One may love a sister and still be annoyed at her
unconventional observations and peculiar viewpoint.
     "Yes, perhaps," Fandil said after a moment.  "But we can't base our actions on
'something we haven't imagined'.  We have to work with what we CAN think of.  Which
is that the barrier is a sort of magical 'divide and conquer' effort."
     "Which makes it a reason for you to go," Lenpro said, "but I don't--"
     The door banged open, letting in the smell of flowers from the back room of the
shop and one of Lady Fern's gladiators.  Sizzling Sunflower posed in the doorway,
radiating excitement and energy.  "Someone's kidnapped a couple of girls!  People are
saying it was monsters!"
     "Just 'monsters', nothing specific?" Lenpro asked.
     "Well, the description sounds like a werecat half-changed," the gladiatress
answered.  "I didn't know they could hold themselves at that stage, unless it's the
effect of the shape-changer plague?"
     "There's already widespread distrust of the Aruaki here," Lenpro said, rising.
"People could even just imagine that the kidnappers are werecats, and it would be
enough to bring about attacks on quite innocent people.  I'd better go check on
this."  He shrugged apologetically at his brother Fandil and took Sunflower's arm.
"You can lay most of your plans without my presence, can't you?"
     "Yes, of course," Fandil said.
     As the door slammed shut behind Lenpro and the Flower Girl, Lady Fern said,
"There might be a physical barrier between Fratsfa and Andor, too, as well as a
magical one."
     "What would be the point of that?"
     "It would keep Emperor Alonj from going to Andor and taking control of the
government--"
     Fandil sat down with a thump.  "You're right.  I hadn't thought of that.  But is
he ready to go?"
     Fern shrugged.  "That isn't the point.  If the king is truly dead--"  She held
up a hand.  "I know, you're almost certain.  It's just, well, it feels odd to say it.
Like that makes it more real.  Anyway, if there is going to be some new ruler, the
sooner he's in place, the better.  Because whoever gets there first will have an edge
in any, ah, dispute.  If Alonj isn't first--"
     "But there isn't anyone else," Fandil said.  "The people won't accept an elf
from Ardivent or an Aruaki at present, and the High Thane of Convincia is too old.
Raltumas...not a chance, especially not now that Aradi has seceded; their political
credit is no good.  So who else could there be?"
     "Someone you haven't thought of yet," she said, ignoring his theatrical groan.
"Someone who's trying to usurp control, maybe for himself or maybe as an agent for
some enemy--the Karnhorns, maybe.  How should I know?  But there's someone stirring
this pot, Fandil.  That's the person you have to identify and stop."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): GOLDENEYE of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 610): SEPHIROTH of NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 610): WHOLE MUTT of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 603): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 599): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 599): TRELLIN XISS of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 596): SOLDIER 23 of MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 592): OUT OF TIME of GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 561): DACEANA LINZ of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 552): GHETTO DEFENDANT of RADIO CLASH (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 543): BIG DOPE of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 252): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 442): M.T. LANE of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 205): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 465): GOKU of DRAGONBALL Z (Armalias, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 610): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 610): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 603): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 599): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 599): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 596): ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 591592LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 561): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 552): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 543): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 252): THE ORDER (Torak, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 442): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 205): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 494): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 304): GOLDENEYE of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
               (turn 303): ROCK GLAS HUT FUN of ORCISH IDIOMS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 609): SILVER SNAIL of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               ERITHE ENDIREDRE of PATRONAS VERITAS (Ichabod
                               Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 592): OUT OF TIME of GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
             (turn 591): PRINCE POLIOLES of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 560): NORM THE GNOME of GUARDIANS II (Twig, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 552): GHETTO DEFENDANT of RADIO CLASH (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 552): SIZZLING SUNFLOWER of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 441): CRUZIA GARDETT of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     It was much too cold to sit around in the stands, though it did no good to
protest.  Some days a magical umbrella over the arena just isn't enough protection
against the weather.  I hear that some towns have been experimenting with enclosed or
indoor arenas for the winter seasons.  Perhaps we should consider this.  True, the
echoes will be ferocious, but better echoes than frostbite.

     That Totally Sucks! was most avoided by Kellumbo's Kids.  No surprise,
Kellumbo's Kids routinely use the full range of managerial tools to do their best
here.  Although a personal or two occasionally would not come amiss.
     Hero, Hero got the most challenges.  This appears proper in some rather mythic
fashion.
     We had twenty-one fights, with only three standbys.  Nine of Kellumbo's Kids got
their challenges through, which is no wonder since no one was avoiding them.

     BABY (43-2863) (26-48-2,47) of DARK SIDE fought OHRLAM (105-2) (0-0-0,60) of The
Ever-Reliables.  BABY viciously subdued OHRLAM in a 2 minute gruesome duel.  Vicious,
eh?  Well, if one hears enough talk about being roasted with an apple or whatever in
the mouth, it would make anyone vicious.  Too bad it wasn't Go-Fer that Baby fought
when the worm turned!
     SOLARIS (46-3759) (35-99-0,53) of RUBY DRAGONS fought GOLDERIE (26-4657) (32-33-
1,76) of GOLDEN CANYON.  SOLARIS was overpowered by GOLDERIE in a popular 1 minute
one-sided duel.  I sincerely hope that Golderie starts thinking about what she's
going to cook earlier this time.  We're getting tired of these rushed, poorly planned
meals here!
     MERRIWEATHER (68-8693) (8-2-0,26) of SUPERIOR FORCES 2G fought GO-FER (26-4444)
(28-41-2,84) of GOLDEN CANYON.  MERRIWEATHER bested GO-FER in a popular 3 minute
contest.  Merriweather is a new arrival, and very welcome (not least because of
his/her/its defeat of Go-Fer).
     LORIS KEY (26-4706) (25-35-2,93) of GOLDEN CANYON fought MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! (60-
8618) (18-8-1,76) of SUPERIOR FORCES 1601.  LORIS KEY was beaten by MGRWONTHE1STTOGS!
in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.  Indeed, and anyone would give up in despair if
faced with the prospect of mince pie.  Why not call it "And Don't Forget the Kitchen
Sink" Pie.
     CONNOR MACLEOD (11-5532) (70-86-0,142) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought FRY GUY (40-
3655) (28-17-0,115) of TACO GODS.  CONNOR MACLEOD demolished FRY GUY in a 1 minute
one-sided bout.  Hey, Connor was hungry.  Anyone might be hungry on a day like this.
     VAN HELSING (11-6338) (55-64-1,158) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought TESSHIAN (105-
22) (0-0-0,181) of The Ever-Reliables.  VAN HELSING devastated TESSHIAN in a popular
1 minute brutal mismatched brawl.  I have a suspicion that Tesshian was drunk, or at
least badly hung over.  Perhaps it was the bloodshot eyes that did it.

     WARDUKE (11-5930) (60-78-3,164) of SCARLET KNIGHTS II fought TYRA (81-416) (31-
14-1,108) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS.  WARDUKE viciously subdued TYRA in an action packed 2
minute brutal duel.  I consider this a triumph for Tyra in that the announcers did
not declare it a "mis-match," or "uneven."  This Tyra will go far.
     TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD (11-4304) (84-120-0,191) of SCARLET KNIGHTS fought TORNADO
CXCVI (60-5111) (21-35-0,163) of DEATH STUDS VII.  TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD overpowered
TORNADO CXCVI in a 1 minute one-sided duel.  Talisman is, of course, a certified
Fossil with over two hundred regular-arena fights.  I hear he's been offered a job in
Kansas, overpowering other tornadoes.
     SMITH (14-1282) (100-154-4,192) of MIKES fought VAJRA VALMEJAR (11-4928) (74-92-
0,195) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  SMITH was overpowered by VAJRA VALMEJAR in a 1 minute
mismatched conflict.  Fossils everywhere, but then, what else is new?  Was it me or
some other spy reporter who suggested that we might ask for the Fossils to be
forcibly "inducted" into Home Guard when they pass two hundred regular arena fights?
I wonder if the Commission would go for this?  After all, originally Home Guard was
intended for just such puds.
     WOLVERINE (66-3871) (73-125-6,190) of X-FORCE fought TESSHIAN (105-22) (0-0-
0,181) of The Ever-Reliables.  WOLVERINE demolished TESSHIAN in a 1 minute mismatched
match.  Sometimes you have to wonder at the reliability of our standbys.  This is
Tesshian's second loss today, and het he comes back for more whenever asked.  Perhaps
he's been brain damaged by too many blows to the head.
     DEATH FOG (45-4017) (69-32-0,195) of SUPERIOR FORCES fought SANDS (11-4123) (72-
144-3,182) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  DEATH FOG bested SANDS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
conflict.  Good work, Death.  I see that The Fog is truly a superior force, because
Fossils don't succumb easily.

Ah, the challenges:
     SALEM (82-42046) (19-8-0,124) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 challenged SARINA (26-
4220) (31-39-1,116) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Down 8.  SALEM was defeated by SARINA in an
action packed 2 minute Challenge match.  I do hear that Salem is known for some kind
of soup or stew involving shellfish and milk; I hope Sarina will forego that obvious
line.
     NAFISAH (22-6612) (39-20-1,173) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged CLEMMIE (26-4630)
(29-47-1,126) of GOLDEN CANYON.  Down 47.  NAFISAH was vanquished by CLEMMIE in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge duel.  Now, I find this odd.  Clearly, Clemmie is the more
experienced loser here, so why did she go for the unusual?  One can only speculate.
     TEEVELLA (82-24954) (28-6-1,189) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged NIXIE SEASPRITE
(11-4992) (71-85-1,239) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Up 50.  TEEVELLA vanquished NIXIE
SEASPRITE in an action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  And you may note that
the bookies were not surprised.  "Uneven," they called it, and they have ways to know
these things.  I suspect magic, myself.
     SNAKE CHARMER (22-6169) (57-24-0,201) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged LUKARIAN
LAMORAK (11-4841) (72-99-1,211) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Up 10.  SNAKE CHARMER
unbelievably bested LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 3 minute competition.  This one, the
bookies did NOT see coming, but *I* am not surprised.  That subtle charm, that
mesmerizing sway, it's very effective.  A whole section of the audience went into a
trance during this fight.

     JACKSON (22-6649) (32-7-0,186) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged HUMMEL (14-1404)
(98-154-7,212) of MIKES.  Up 26.  JACKSON devastated HUMMEL in a crowd pleasing 1
minute one-sided Challenge duel.  I have heard rumors from other Solvenite
gladiators, that this Jackson is, indeed, a devastating "wench."  Their words, not
mine, madam.
     DARNESHA (82-42015) (23-5-1,187) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 challenged HERO, HERO
(68-446) (26-41-0,184) of DIAMONDS & RUST.  Down 3.  DARNESHA was overpowered by
HERO, HERO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  This is Hero, Hero the Most
Challenged, for reasons not known to me.  Nobody tells me things like that.  I hope
you learned well from this experience, Darnesha.
     GRANDPA RAT (22-6549) (55-31-3,211) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged KHORNE
SHADOWSPAWN (46-3809) (60-69-1,195) of RUBY DRAGONS.  Down 16.  GRANDPA RAT
overpowered KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  Does this
mean that rats will eat khorne, regardless of its dubious origins?  I have heard that
rats can be uncritical.
     BLIND GIRL (22-6041) (62-25-0,222) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged BLACKRAZOR (11-
4091) (68-150-2,207) of SCARLET KNIGHTS.  Down 15.  BLIND GIRL subdued BLACKRAZOR in
an exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.  And this without even looking at him!
Remarkable.
     MAXIMUS (22-5966) (70-43-4,314) of KELLUMBO'S KIDS challenged WHERE'S MY
TOURNEY? (82-2893) (37-8-0,200) of THAT TOTALLY SUCKS!  Down 114.  MAXIMUS viciously
subdued WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? in a 27 minute Challenge fight.  This was mostly
remarkable for the length of time it took Where's My Tourney? to succumb.

For the title:
     GOKU (46-3655) (99-79-2,258) of DRAGONBALL Z fought TITANIA (65-5835) (41-26-
0,232) of SUPERIOR FORCES 3J.  GOKU was overpowered by TITANIA in an exciting 1
minute one-sided Title fight.  So you see, next time our column will be not-written
by someone else.  Congratulations, Titania.

                                       Ardane

THE KING'S SENTINEL           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TITANIA 65-5835             42  26  0  253  SUPERIOR FORCES 3J (1031)  DAL SHANG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAXIMUS 22-5966             71  43  4  333  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 BLIND GIRL 22-6041          63  25  0  227  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 GRANDPA RAT 22-6549         56  31  3  221  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACKRAZOR 11-4091          68 151  2  208  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 TEEVELLA 82-24954           29   6  1  208  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1045)     DWES EG
 LUKARIAN LAMORAK 11-4841    72 100  1  207  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 SNAKE CHARMER 22-6169       58  24  0  207  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 HERO, HERO 68-446           27  41  0  206  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928      75  92  0  204  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 JACKSON 22-6649             33   7  0  204  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           70  32  0  200  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
 WHERE'S MY TOURNEY 82-2893  37   9  0  199  THAT TOTALLY SUCKS! (993)  DWES EG
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           74 125  6  198  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 TALISMAN SHIELDGUA 11-4304  85 120  0  195  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 GOKU 46-3655                99  80  2  194  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT
 KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN 46-3809  60  70  1  192  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT
 SANDS 11-4123               72 145  3  191  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 NIXIE SEASPRITE 11-4992     71  86  1  191  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 HUMMEL 14-1404              98 155  7  190  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 SMITH 14-1282              100 155  4  183  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 VAN HELSING 11-6338         56  64  1  181  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DARNESHA 82--23521          23   6  1  175  KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-17 (1048 DWES EG
 CLEMMIE 26-4630             30  47  1  170  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 WARDUKE 11-5930             61  78  3  167  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       21  36  0  160  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 CONNOR MACLEOD 11-5532      71  86  0  151  SCARLET KNIGHTS II (994)   ARUAK CITY

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NAFISAH 22-6612             39  21  1  139  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 SARINA 26-4220              32  39  1  134  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 TYRA 81-416                 31  15  1  117  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1054)     SHADOWSPIRE
 SALEM 82--23490             19   9  0  116  KELLUMBO'S KIDS06-23 (1051 DWES EG
 FRY GUY 40-3655             28  18  0  112  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! 60-8618   19   8  1   93  SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (1050 ARADI

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LORIS KEY 26-4706           25  36  2   83  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 GOLDERIE 26-4657            33  33  1   81  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM
 MERRIWEATHER 68-8693         9   2  0   61  SUPERIOR FORCES 2G (991)   FIREHOLD
 BABY 43-2863                27  48  2   60  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN
 GO-FER 26-4444              28  42  2   55  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SOLARIS 46-3759             35 100  0   49  RUBY DRAGONS (1006)        ARDIVENT

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Nafisah -- I'm not at all sure I can cook today.  It's the full moon.  I'm
susceptible to that. -- Clemmie
P.S.  And I might have overdone the partying during the holidays, I suppose.  There
was a rather peculiar turkey, I remember that, and some strange pie.
P.P.S.  Not to mention the sweet potatoes with marshmellows.  Gods, why do people DO
that?

Salem -- Water crackers?  It really was quite a party.  Too bad you weren't there,
but I don't suppose neuter dwarves have much of a social life. -- Sarina

Mgrwonthe1sttogs! -- I never cared for "add the kitchen sink" stew, and you just
reinforce that.  You can starve, is what you can do. -- Loris Key

Solaris -- Tea?  With lemon, I think.  No need to get carried away with other stuff.
It isn't like any of us are going to be hungry any time in the next couple of weeks.
-- Golderie

Baby -- I did really think about the roasting thing, but I'm told you'd be too
greasy.  Too bad.  Guess I'll just have to throw you to the hogs, eh? -- Go-Fer

To those whom we fought -- Once we recover from the holidays, we're willing to
entertain the notion of cooking to your requests.  But you have to MAKE the requests.
-- the Golden Canyon chefs

Ardane -- I'm not sure there is such a thing as "good meringue."  I've never much
cared for it:  egg whites and sugar.  Blah. -- Clemmie

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MAXIMUS viciously subdued WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? in a 27 minute Challenge fight.
BLIND GIRL subdued BLACKRAZOR in a exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.
GRANDPA RAT overpowered KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
DARNESHA was overpowered by HERO, HERO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
JACKSON devastated HUMMEL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SNAKE CHARMER unbelievably bested LUKARIAN LAMORAK in a 3 minute competition.
TEEVELLA vanquished NIXIE SEASPRITE in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
NAFISAH was vanquished by CLEMMIE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SALEM was defeated by SARINA in a action packed 2 minute Challenge match.
GOKU was overpowered by TITANIA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
DEATH FOG bested SANDS in a crowd pleasing 2 minute conflict.
WOLVERINE demolished TESSHIAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SMITH was overpowered by VAJRA VALMEJAR in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
TALISMAN SHIELDGUARD overpowered TORNADO CXCVI in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
WARDUKE viciously subdued TYRA in a action packed 2 minute brutal duel.
VAN HELSING devastated TESSHIAN in a popular 1 minute brutal mismatched brawl.
CONNOR MACLEOD demolished FRY GUY in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
LORIS KEY was beaten by MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
MERRIWEATHER bested GO-FER in a popular 3 minute contest.
SOLARIS was overpowered by GOLDERIE in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
BABY viciously subdued OHRLAM in a 2 minute gruesome duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       7         TOTAL PARRY       34 -  18 -  1      65  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         AIMED BLOW        30 -  21 -  1      59  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  13 -  0      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  14 -  1      53  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  25 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  17 -  0      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK   24 -  36 -  1      40  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  13 -  0      38  |

Turn 496 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
AIMED BLOW         4 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       TITANIA 65-5835            42  26  0  253 SUPERIOR FORCES 3J (1031)
TOTAL PARRY      MAXIMUS 22-5966            71  43  4  333 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GRANDPA RAT 22-6549        56  31  3  221 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)
WALL OF STEEL    BLACKRAZOR 11-4091         68 151  2  208 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
LUNGING ATTACK   TEEVELLA 82-24954          29   6  1  208 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1045)
BASHING ATTACK   HERO, HERO 68-446          27  41  0  206 DIAMONDS & RUST (820)
STRIKING ATTACK  VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928     75  92  0  204 SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)
SLASHING ATTACK  WOLVERINE 66-3871          74 125  6  198 X-FORCE (415)
PARRY-LUNGE      HUMMEL 14-1404             98 155  7  190 MIKES (831)
PARRY-STRIKE     SMITH 14-1282             100 155  4  183 MIKES (831)

The overall popularity leader is GOKU 46-3655.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LUKARIAN LAMORAK 11-4841.  The ten other most popular fighters were WARDUKE 
11-5930, GO-FER 26-4444, BLACKRAZOR 11-4091, SARINA 26-4220, DEATH FOG 45-4017, 
TEEVELLA 82-24954, MGRWONTHE1STTOGS! 60-8618, SNAKE CHARMER 22-6169, MERRIWEATHER 
68-8693, and JACKSON 22-6649.

The least popular fighter this week was WHERE'S MY TOURNEY? 82-2893.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were MAXIMUS 22-5966, TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111, NAFISAH 22-6612, 
SOLARIS 46-3759, FRY GUY 40-3655, TYRA 81-416, SMITH 14-1282, GOKU 46-3655, CONNOR 
MACLEOD 11-5532, and VAJRA VALMEJAR 11-4928.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
ARUAK CITY(11)       5  4 0  VEASTIAN(43)         1  0 0  TARRGIR(66)          1  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  2 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         2  0 0  
SOLVEN(22)           5  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         0  3 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      0  1 0  
CALEAM(26)           3  2 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  3 0  
ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACKRAZOR 11-4091          68 151  2  208  SCARLET KNIGHTS (902)      ARUAK CITY
 HUMMEL 14-1404              98 155  7  190  MIKES (831)                TOBIR
 MAXIMUS 22-5966             71  43  4  333  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (978)      SOLVEN
 CLEMMIE 26-4630             30  47  1  170  GOLDEN CANYON (741)        CALEAM

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRY GUY 40-3655             28  18  0  112  TACO GODS (198)            ZENSU
 BABY 43-2863                27  48  2   60  DARK SIDE (970)            VEASTIAN
 DEATH FOG 45-4017           70  32  0  200  SUPERIOR FORCES (1030)     STORMCROWE
 GOKU 46-3655                99  80  2  194  DRAGONBALL Z (944)         ARDIVENT
 TORNADO CXCVI 60-5111       21  36  0  160  DEATH STUDS VII (877)      ARADI
 TITANIA 65-5835             42  26  0  253  SUPERIOR FORCES 3J (1031)  DAL SHANG
 WOLVERINE 66-3871           74 125  6  198  X-FORCE (415)              TARRGIR
 HERO, HERO 68-446           27  41  0  206  DIAMONDS & RUST (820)      FIREHOLD
 TYRA 81-416                 31  15  1  117  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1054)     SHADOWSPIRE
 TEEVELLA 82-24954           29   6  1  208  KELLUMBO'S KIDS (1045)     DWES EG