AD

Date   : 03/01/2005    Duedate: 03/28/2005

CRYSALIS

DM-106    TURN-154

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-SHADOWLAND 59/1089      4    1  0 80.0      THE STORMGUARDS 31/192                
  2 REAL BEER 21/859     1669  838 24 66.6   10 SIR AGLIO 10/716       68   84  1 44.7
    MISTAKEN IDENTITY 73/96                     KNOT WHOLE 2/1092                     
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/10                        11 BLUE BOAR INN 9/369    18   24  2 42.9
  3 DREAM TEAMS 41/919    112   89  1 55.7      BLUE BOAR INN II 9/561                
    MIKE'S MISFITS 1/793                        THE FELLOWSHIP 51/381                 
    DEADLY DE-PARTED 11/370                  12 NEMESIS 47/313          3    4  0 42.9
  4 BLOOD LUST 73/978      44   35  0 55.7   13 THE BEAR'S PA 47/196   15   21  1 41.7
    WILLBENDERS 31/1016                      14 THE STORMBRIN 31/553   31   44  0 41.3
    MORDRED'S MADMEN 45/1015                 15-PBA 78/1006            34   49  0 41.0
  5 OVERRATED 96/1044      11    9  0 55.0      TREE PEOPLE 78/1019                   
    UNFIT TO BE ORCS 31/881                  16-DAMAGE INC. 59/327     22   36  0 37.9
    MYSTIC ORC FEAST 47/704                  17 DRINKING BUDD 39/574   94  165  1 36.3
  6 ANDORIAN KNIG 11/962   80   66  1 54.8   18 SAND DANCERS 52/942   279  493  1 36.1
  7 DARQUE FORCES 44/857   64   60  1 51.6      SAND DANCERS 78/848                   
    DARQUE FORCES 72/1009                       SAND DANCERS 51/610                   
    DARQUE FORCES VIII 73/1043                  NORTHERN LIGHTS 45/1042               
    IMPROVED ILLUSION 59/1078                   THE MIDDLE WAY 39/946                 
    DARQUE ANGELS 39/1087                    19 X-POSSE 72/1093         1    1  0 50.0
  8-BLACK & BLUE 73/1090  453  469  4 49.1   20 ODIN'S CHOSE 73/1088    0    1  0  0.0
  9 OVERLORDS 20/371       82   85  1 49.1

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                             ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): CHAOS WARRIOR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): LAVA RUNNER of PRIMAL FURY (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): KIRKEN TUORNIN of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 205): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): STORM SERPENT of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): BEXLEY of OHIO (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): DAROSHTAN of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): ORPHAN of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): YANKEE DOODLE of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): NORTHERN BADLANDS (Maximillian, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 205): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): SNOW CALL HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): DUDS (Amy A. Airhead, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 253): L'ORC BLEU of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 250): ALARIC of THE WARLORDS II (Fizban, mgr.)
                          RAY D AYTOR of OTTO'S MECHANICS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): DROKK of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 204): HOMEY CIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                                 DEEP FRIED LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
                     (turn 220): COURAGE of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             WHIPSNADE of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             DASKINOR of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 155): CANNONBALL of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Olaf Modeen PRESUMES to give Crysalis a spy report?  That IDIOT?

     "Welcome CRYSALIS."  He is welcoming you?  You're the ones who are here every 
time.
     "I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights have I fought here."  
False.  He was retired before Crysalis was opened.
     Etc.  All of a piece, you know.  Olaf hasn't had an original thought in twenty 
years.  Since he died, in fact.  It's a shame that the dead must also suffer from 
arrested development, isn't it?  Ah, who am I fooling?  The only thing Olaf needs is 
to be buried convincingly.  Maybe a steak through his heart?
     The Andorian Knights were most avoided, by Royal Flush.  And why not?
     Ten Commandments got the most challenges.  This also is not news.  Gladiators 
challenge several of those commandments every day.  It's in their job description.

     Thirty-two fights, which is decent by today's standards.  Of course, today's 
standards are pitiful, but they're what we've got.  Ten challenge matches, none of 
them tv.  Did you all sit out the last tourney?  Surely there are some among you who 
could have brought luster to the name of Crysalis by winning a tv challenge?
     The longest fight was a mere six minutes, and they call this a slow arena!

     NORM PETERSON (39-2745) (45-78-0,71) of DRINKING BUDDIES fought STIGMA OF STUPID 
(31-4948) (14-4-1,57) of UNFIT TO BE ORCS.  NORM PETERSON was beaten by STIGMA OF 
STUPID in an action packed 2 minute bout.  I don't know, "stupid" seems to me to 
describe orcs very well.
     ANGELOST (39-3415) (14-8-1,54) of DARQUE ANGELS fought R.O.U.S. (106-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the College of Mimes.  ANGELOST savagely defeated R.O.U.S. in a popular 4 
minute brutal fight.  Amazing how they can teach rats to fight, isn't it?
     CANNONBALL (72-5313) (14-8-0,50) of X-POSSE fought SNOWFALL (45-3473) (30-19-
0,55) of NORTHERN LIGHTS.  CANNONBALL handily defeated SNOWFALL in a 1 minute one-
sided fight.  A surprise victory, at this time of year.  Snow seems to be dominant.
     FRIAR TUCK (9-3582) (15-10-0,46) of BLUE BOAR INN II fought PROWESS (2-5155) 
(16-20-0,68) of KNOT WHOLE.  FRIAR TUCK was defeated by PROWESS in a 2 minute duel.  
Ah, I was hoping she'd come here.  The female Prow, truly a remarkable sight.
     ALLAN A' DALE (9-3586) (20-15-2,97) of BLUE BOAR INN II fought SUNFLASH (45-
3474) (25-24-1,74) of NORTHERN LIGHTS.  ALLAN A' DALE overcame SUNFLASH in an 
exciting 1 minute gory duel.  Probably goes with the defeat of the snow earlier.

     SIR PELLEAS (31-4352) (23-20-1,92) of WILLBENDERS fought UNCERTAIN OMELET (47-
3786) (13-5-0,79) of MYSTIC ORC FEAST.  SIR PELLEAS overcame UNCERTAIN OMELET in a 2 
minute bout.  Now THERE is a topic for speculation.  How, exactly, was that omelet 
made?  Did the orc chef remember to break the eggshells, for instance, or is this the 
"high calcium" version?  Lizard's eggs?
     ROBIN HOOD (9-3583) (15-18-0,95) of BLUE BOAR INN II fought MANNAZ THORSSON (73-
4269) (17-10-1,62) of ODIN'S CHOSEN.  ROBIN HOOD overcame MANNAZ THORSSON in a 2 
minute bout.  And picked his pocket in the process.
     SHADE (47-983) (25-7-2,100) of NEMESIS fought EGAN FORN (39-3295) (26-42-0,62) 
of THE MIDDLE WAY.  SHADE was vanquished by EGAN FORN in a 1 minute uneven bout.  
Good gods, Forn WON A FIGHT?  The age of miracles is upon us.
     LITTLE JOHN (9-2475) (35-36-0,123) of BLUE BOAR INN fought RANDOM MATCHUP (96-
1048) (15-9-3,99) of OVERRATED.  LITTLE JOHN vanquished RANDOM MATCHUP in a 2 minute 
brutal one-sided fight.  Will Random ever issue a challenge, do you suppose?  Or is 
it written into his contract that he can only fight randomly?
     DANNIA TYL SIO (52-3393) (40-26-1,142) of SAND DANCERS fought WILL SCARLET (9-
2535) (37-29-3,148) of BLUE BOAR INN.  DANNIA TYL SIO lost to WILL SCARLET in a 
popular 1 minute match.  Scarlet and blue, hmm?  Striking but, if I may say so, 
rather LOUD.

     MIRTA (51-4033) (52-32-1,155) of SAND DANCERS fought YYZ (9-1972) (38-44-0,179) 
of BLUE BOAR INN.  MIRTA savagely defeated YYZ in a popular 4 minute gory match.  And 
who ARE these blue bores, er, boars who have turned up lately?  Speak up, let us know 
who's there.  Do you have maple brandy?
     KING RICHARD II (9-1976) (42-42-1,180) of BLUE BOAR INN fought CRUSADER LORD 
(31-3946) (43-38-6,173) of THE STORMGUARDS.  KING RICHARD II was viciously subdued by 
CRUSADER LORD in a 2 minute duel.  As you see, these blue blokes are legion.
     DISCO QUEEN (47-1992) (38-18-1,179) of ROYAL FLUSH fought PIXIE BLIGHT (73-4427) 
(22-18-0,135) of DARQUE FORCES VIII.  DISCO QUEEN was defeated by PIXIE BLIGHT in an 
exciting 3 minute gory duel.  Some things overcome even a glittering crown, although 
it was a good effort.
     PRINCE OF AR (31-3625) (16-18-1,198) of THE STORMBRINGERS fought KING FORADAY 
(47-3762) (46-43-4,204) of ROYAL FLUSH.  PRINCE OF AR was devastated by KING FORADAY 
in a 1 minute one-sided contest.  Wait a minute, let me check my notes.  Hmm.  It 
says here that Ar is in an adventure.  Do NOT lose, especially in such a thorough 
fashion, when involved in an adventure.  Authors are so suggestible, you know.
     JACK VALTRAEDS (47-407) (90-61-2,272) of ROYAL FLUSH fought SIR PLUS (10-4316) 
(33-33-1,182) of SIR AGLIO.  JACK VALTRAEDS overpowered SIR PLUS in a 1 minute 
mismatched fight.  This is what happens when you let your warriors be matched by the 
Commission's handicapper.  You can't trust him.

     GROLSCH (21-5029) (41-4-4,287) of REAL BEER fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-30) (0-
0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  GROLSCH overpowered VERMICIOUS KNID in an exciting 
2 minute brutal one-sided bout.  I should hope so!  The knid kneeds to knept in line.
     PRIMUS (21-4975) (43-13-0,229) of REAL BEER fought TASHIA (11-2740) (33-41-
1,183) of DEADLY DE-PARTED.  PRIMUS bested TASHIA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brawl.  
Does this mean that Tashia drank more than she could handle?  But if she's dead, how 
could she--  No, I suppose she COULD, gods know Olaf Modeen manages to get drunk 
despite being dead.
     KING UVDAHELL (47-1643) (38-17-1,228) of ROYAL FLUSH fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-
0-0,220) of the College of Mimes.  KING UVDAHELL was devastated by GOJIRO in an 
exciting 1 minute uneven duel.  SHAME on you, King!  You're going to give Gojiro a 
swelled head, and he's bad enough already.
     TEN COMMANDMENTS (47-3843) (43-37-1,280) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN 
(106-26) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  TEN COMMANDMENTS was handily defeated 
by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 1 minute uneven fight.  I wonder which commandment the 
Captain targeted?
     SANDBLASTER (11-3899) (58-58-3,229) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS fought TZUKI MU (51-
1610) (28-25-3,210) of THE FELLOWSHIP.  SANDBLASTER devastated TZUKI MU in a 1 minute 
mismatched bout.  Sand-blasting him, no doubt.
     DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (67-38-3,262) of ROYAL FLUSH fought IRONBAR (47-182) (32-
20-0,181) of NEMESIS.  DAIRY QUEEN viciously subdued IRONBAR in an exciting 3 minute 
brutal contest.  Somehow, this is odd.  Out of character, perhaps.  I visualize Dairy 
Queen as sweet, gentle, rather fattening if taken to excess, but placid and cow-like.  
Yes?  No?

     The challenge matches:
     DEBBIE DAHMER (45-3579) (29-12-1,127) of MORDRED'S MADMEN challenged BEARNICE 
(47-2847) (18-21-6,114) of THE BEAR'S PAW.  Down 13.  DEBBIE DAHMER overpowered 
BEARNICE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
     SIR YDER (31-4353) (28-16-0,150) of WILLBENDERS challenged KYRA (51-3774) (45-
50-1,130) of SAND DANCERS.  Down 20.  SIR YDER vanquished KYRA in a 3 minute one-
sided Challenge fight.
     STONEWALL (11-3900) (55-61-2,172) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS challenged BEAUTY QUEEN 
(47-3352) (41-42-3,180) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 8.  STONEWALL defeated BEAUTY QUEEN in a 
2 minute Challenge duel.
     MATADOR (11-4139) (49-36-2,160) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS challenged JACK SPRAT (47-
2954) (52-60-4,164) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 4.  MATADOR was viciously subdued by JACK 
SPRAT in a 5 minute Challenge duel.
     TEMPUS (31-538) (40-37-0,170) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged GRINNON BEARIT (47-
2955) (27-15-3,157) of THE BEAR'S PAW.  Down 13.  TEMPUS was devastated by GRINNON 
BEARIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.

     HANNYA (73-4350) (32-14-1,192) of BLOOD LUST challenged SANDMAN (11-3923) (60-
57-2,208) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS.  Up 16.  HANNYA lost to SANDMAN in a crowd pleasing 3 
minute brutal Challenge fight.
     TALOS (31-2069) (57-29-0,199) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged SIR LY (10-4116) 
(46-36-0,199) of SIR AGLIO.  Straight across.  TALOS was defeated by SIR LY in a 
crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody Challenge match.
     SANDPAWN (11-4169) (54-26-1,204) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS challenged KITALA THE BOLD 
(78-875) (88-107-2,206) of SAND DANCERS.  Up 2.  SANDPAWN was viciously subdued by 
KITALA THE BOLD in a 6 minute Challenge brawl.  Our longest fight, unless I missed 
one.
     BURGER KING (47-4152) (34-30-3,182) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged JUAN (41-2304) 
(32-22-0,196) of DREAM TEAMS.  Up 14.  BURGER KING viciously subdued JUAN in a 2 
minute gory Challenge match.
     FIGHTER ACE (47-1189) (58-44-6,223) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged R'SHANN (20-577) 
(58-45-3,227) of OVERLORDS.  Up 4.  FIGHTER ACE devastated R'SHANN in an action 
packed 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.

     And for the title:  WILLIE MAKIT (73-514) (108-38-3,325) of MISTAKEN IDENTITY 
fought SNOOPER (1-5154) (45-21-3,214) of MIKE'S MISFITS.  WILLIE MAKIT subdued 
SNOOPER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title match.  A good, if uneven, match, and 
congratulations to everybody, because I spilled beer on my list and can't tell who I 
had marked out for special congratulations.  Damned cheap ink.

                                       Ketchum

THE TOWER GUARDIAN            W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WILLIE MAKIT 73-514        109  38  3  345  MISTAKEN IDENTITY (96)     ERINIKA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GROLSCH 21-5029             42   4  4  300  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407       91  61  2  277  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685         68  38  3  271  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 FIGHTER ACE 47-1189         59  44  6  241  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 SANDBLASTER 11-3899         59  58  3  241  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 PRIMUS 21-4975              44  13  0  231  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 KITALA THE BOLD 78-875      89 107  2  228  SAND DANCERS (848)         LIN TIRIAN
 SANDMAN 11-3923             61  57  2  223  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 SIR LY 10-4116              47  36  0  221  SIR AGLIO (716)            KOLACT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KING FORADAY 47-3762        47  43  4  213  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SNOOPER 1-5154              45  22  3  210  MIKE'S MISFITS (793)       MORDANT
 BURGER KING 47-4152         35  30  3  200  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 TALOS 31-2069               57  30  0  198  THE STORMGUARDS (192)      CHIMLEVTAL
 SANDPAWN 11-4169            54  27  1  198  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 R'SHANN 20-577              58  46  3  194  OVERLORDS (371)            SEAM
 TASHIA 11-2740              33  42  1  193  DEADLY DE-PARTED (370)     ARUAK CITY
 HANNYA 73-4350              32  15  1  193  BLOOD LUST (978)           ERINIKA
 KING UVDAHELL 47-1643       38  18  1  191  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-KRAC D'CHEVALIERS 31-4345   22  32  0  191  THE STORMGUARDS (192)      CHIMLEVTAL
 TEN COMMANDMENTS 47-3843    43  38  1  190  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 IRONBAR 47-182              32  21  0  190  NEMESIS (313)              NORTH FORK
 TZUKI MU 51-1610            28  26  3  190  THE FELLOWSHIP (381)       TRICORUS
 PRINCE OF AR 31-3625        16  19  1  190  THE STORMBRINGERS (553)    CHIMLEVTAL
 JUAN 41-2304                32  23  0  186  DREAM TEAMS (919)          KATI-TEI
 CRUSADER LORD 31-3946       44  38  6  185  THE STORMGUARDS (192)      CHIMLEVTAL
 SIR PLUS 10-4316            33  34  1  185  SIR AGLIO (716)            KOLACT
 STONEWALL 11-3900           56  61  2  182  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
-SPLIT 78-2347               27  18  0  181  PBA (1006)                 LIN TIRIAN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JACK SPRAT 47-2954          53  60  4  178  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 GRINNON BEARIT 47-2955      28  15  3  177  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
-300 78-2346                 25  19  0  176  PBA (1006)                 LIN TIRIAN
 MIRTA 51-4033               53  32  1  175  SAND DANCERS (610)         TRICORUS
 PIXIE BLIGHT 73-4427        23  18  0  175  DARQUE FORCES VIII (1043)  ERINIKA
 KING RICHARD II 9-1976      42  43  1  174  BLUE BOAR INN (369)        ZUKAL
 BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352        41  43  3  172  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 YYZ 9-1972                  38  45  0  168  BLUE BOAR INN (369)        ZUKAL
 MATADOR 11-4139             49  37  2  159  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 WILL SCARLET 9-2535         38  29  3  159  BLUE BOAR INN (369)        ZUKAL
 TEMPUS 31-538               40  38  0  156  THE STORMGUARDS (192)      CHIMLEVTAL
 SIR YDER 31-4353            29  16  0  156  WILLBENDERS (1016)         CHIMLEVTAL
 DISCO QUEEN 47-1992         38  19  1  154  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-CARLA 39-2428               63  80  2  150  DRINKING BUDDIES (574)     XOCHITHLAN
 DANNIA TYL SIO 52-3393      40  27  1  141  SAND DANCERS (942)         FRATSFA
 DEBBIE DAHMER 45-3579       30  12  1  135  MORDRED'S MADMEN (1015)    STORMCROWE
-DOLLFACE 39-2372            62  84  1  134  DRINKING BUDDIES (574)     XOCHITHLAN
 LITTLE JOHN 9-2475          36  36  0  131  BLUE BOAR INN (369)        ZUKAL
-GERTRUDE 44-2582            22  11  0  130  DARQUE FORCES (857)        KRILL
 KYRA 51-3774                45  51  1  128  SAND DANCERS (610)         TRICORUS
-PROOKIE 78-2345             25  17  1  119  PBA (1006)                 LIN TIRIAN
 BEARNICE 47-2847            18  22  6  112  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
-FOGGY 72-4595               12   4  2  106  DARQUE FORCES (1009)       DRAGONHEAD

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EGAN FORN 39-3295           27  42  0  100  THE MIDDLE WAY (946)       XOCHITHLAN
 SIR PELLEAS 31-4352         24  20  1   99  WILLBENDERS (1016)         CHIMLEVTAL
 ALLAN A' DALE 9-3586        21  15  2   99  BLUE BOAR INN II (561)     ZUKAL
 ROBIN HOOD 9-3583           16  18  0   97  BLUE BOAR INN II (561)     ZUKAL
 RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048      15  10  3   95  OVERRATED (1044)           OLD VALAMANTIS
-HOFFA WITH HAIR 59-2297     20   2  0   93  IMPROVED ILLUSION (1078)   ILLIS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-PINE 78-2350                25  13  1   89  TREE PEOPLE (1019)         LIN TIRIAN
-BLANK 78-2374               17  12  2   83  TREE PEOPLE (1019)         LIN TIRIAN
 UNCERTAIN OMELET 47-3786    13   6  0   79  MYSTIC ORC FEAST (704)     NORTH FORK
 SUNFLASH 45-3474            25  25  1   77  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE
 STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948    15   4  1   72  UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881)     CHIMLEVTAL

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHADE 47-983                25   8  2   71  NEMESIS (313)              NORTH FORK
 PROWESS 2-5155              17  20  0   71  KNOT WHOLE (1092)          NIANIA
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          15   8  0   69  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
-COURAGE 47-4552             18  10  1   65  LAND OF OZ (28)            NORTH FORK
 MANNAZ THORSSON 73-4269     17  11  1   65  ODIN'S CHOSEN (1088)       ERINIKA
 NORM PETERSON 39-2745       45  79  0   62  DRINKING BUDDIES (574)     XOCHITHLAN
-FEDIFENSOR 59-379           20  16  1   61  DAMAGE INC. (327)          ILLIS
 ANGELOST 39-3415            15   8  1   61  DARQUE ANGELS (1087)       XOCHITHLAN
-HOMEY CIDE 39-3594          17   7  1   59  CRIMINAL ELEMENT (923)     XOCHITHLAN
-ASHEGI OF VEGA 71-3459      15   8  0   53  DARQUE FORCES III (875)    KYR'TERR
 FRIAR TUCK 9-3582           15  11  0   48  BLUE BOAR INN II (561)     ZUKAL
 SNOWFALL 45-3473            30  20  0   44  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

The Icelord -- Many salutes to you Great One! -- High Lord Bosk

Sir Pelleas -- Am I a good teacher, or what? -- Norm Peterson

Tempus -- Well that really sucked.  I was winning, too.  I like it when my opponent
is gasping "Oh gods!  I don't think I can go on!"  Then you had to go and spoil it by
hitting me in my bad knee.  Grrr! -- Carla

     Gods!  She talks!

Burger King -- That was very well fought.  You really knocked the wind out of me. --
Dollface

Dannia tyl Sio -- Ouch.  There, are you satisfied? -- Dollface

Greetings Crysalis!  The glorious arena of Chimlevtal (31) is approaching its 250th
cycle!  In our opinion, Chimlevtal is THE greatest and certainly the toughest arena
on Ghea.  What we desire is for all managers who have ever run a team in Chimlevtal
to return and duel 5 warriors on turn #250.  If you have never had the privilege of
managing warriors on Chimlevtal's storied sands, we invite you to do so now.  (There
are only 2 unchartered teams--free fights can be taken by the bold.)  Turn #249 is
due 2/11/05.  Our goal is to have 30 teams with 150 warriors duel in Chimlevtal on
turn #250.  We ask you to join us in this historic event.  Salute! -- The Council of
Lords

Sandman -- When you write a Chief Tower Guard column like that, you're bound to get
beaten. -- Lord Protector Fengar II

Managers of Crysalis -- Does anyone think the learning rate in Crysalis is slow?  I
can't believe how difficult it is for warriors to learn skills or raise a stat in
this arena.  I would propose that when a warrior has a 17 WT and the fight goes over
a minute AND you're fighting someone with a LOT more FE than you, you should be able
to learn AT LEAST ONE SKILL!  I don't think this is asking too much.  This is
starting to erode my enjoyment of running here.  <grumble...grumble....> -- The
Icelord

Grolsch -- I can see why you are 41-4-4.  You need to go to Primus. -- Talos

Prince of Ar -- Well fought, warrior! -- R'Shann

Jack Valtraeds -- Good match up for you.  Bad one for me. -- Krac D'Chevaliers

Prookie -- What IS a prookie?  I really want to know. -- Mirta

     Inquiring minds, and so on.

Primus -- I really don't care for beer, you know.  Nothing personal.  I might like it
better if I won the fight, I suppose. -- Kitala the Bold and non-beer-drinking

Grinnon Bearit -- Not only your paw, but your maw as well.  Ouch. -- Dannia tyl Sio

Drat, the Evil Inputter.  And I was polite and wrote clearly, too.  Well, I showed
him!  He can't make those kind of remarks to ME. -- Kyra

Random Matchup -- Well, at least you didn't challenge me.  That would've been so
wrong! -- Egan Forn

Blank -- I couldn't see you anywhere, which made it hard to hit you. -- Snowfall

Pine -- I wouldn't mind the loss so much, but the splinters are really a pain! --
Sunflash

Tempus -- Show me what?  (pause to check back personals)  Ah, are you really that
short.  I dunno, but you FIGHT tall. -- Mirta

Sandblaster -- Quite possible.  Would you like me to bring some of my Aruak City
graduates here to do it again? -- Leeta
P.S.  Not beat you, make puns on your name.  Unless I propose to write "Good fight"
two hundred times a week, well, what else is there to say, sometimes?  Especially on
a warrior's first fight, when no personality has appeared except for the choice of
name.

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FIGHTER ACE devastated R'SHANN in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BURGER KING viciously subdued JUAN in a 2 minute gory Challenge match.
SANDPAWN was viciously subdued by KITALA THE BOLD in a 6 minute Challenge brawl.
TALOS was defeated by SIR LY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody Challenge match.
HANNYA lost to SANDMAN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brutal Challenge fight.
TEMPUS was devastated by GRINNON BEARIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
MATADOR was viciously subdued by JACK SPRAT in a 5 minute Challenge duel.
STONEWALL defeated BEAUTY QUEEN in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
SIR YDER vanquished KYRA in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DEBBIE DAHMER overpowered BEARNICE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
WILLIE MAKIT subdued SNOOPER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title match.
DAIRY QUEEN viciously subdued IRONBAR in a exciting 3 minute brutal contest.
SANDBLASTER devastated TZUKI MU in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
TEN COMMANDMENTS was handily defeated by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 1 minute uneven fight.
KING UVDAHELL was devastated by GOJIRO in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
PRIMUS bested TASHIA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brawl.
GROLSCH overpowered VERMICIOUS KNID in a exciting 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
JACK VALTRAEDS overpowered SIR PLUS in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
PRINCE OF AR was devastated by KING FORADAY in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
DISCO QUEEN was defeated by PIXIE BLIGHT in a exciting 3 minute gory duel.
KING RICHARD II was viciously subdued by CRUSADER LORD in a 2 minute duel.
MIRTA savagely defeated YYZ in a popular 4 minute gory match.
DANNIA TYL SIO lost to WILL SCARLET in a popular 1 minute match.
LITTLE JOHN vanquished RANDOM MATCHUP in a 2 minute brutal one-sided fight.
SHADE was vanquished by EGAN FORN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ROBIN HOOD overcame MANNAZ THORSSON in a 2 minute bout.
SIR PELLEAS overcame UNCERTAIN OMELET in a 2 minute bout.
ALLAN A' DALE overcame SUNFLASH in a exciting 1 minute gory duel.
FRIAR TUCK was defeated by PROWESS in a 2 minute duel.
CANNONBALL handily defeated SNOWFALL in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ANGELOST savagely defeated R.O.U.S. in a popular 4 minute brutal fight.
NORM PETERSON was beaten by STIGMA OF STUPID in a action packed 2 minute bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         PARRY-RIPOSTE     23 -  13 -  0      64  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         WALL OF STEEL     67 -  42 -  3      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         AIMED BLOW        30 -  19 -  0      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         PARRY-LUNGE       38 -  33 -  0      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         LUNGING ATTACK   104 -  92 -  0      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         TOTAL PARRY       31 -  32 -  0      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  29 -  1      49  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         STRIKING ATTACK   49 -  70 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    11 -  17 -  0      39  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -  26 -  0      37  |

Turn 154 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      8 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         4  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  5     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  5         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  3         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       WILLIE MAKIT 73-514       109  38  3  345 MISTAKEN IDENTITY (96)
WALL OF STEEL    GROLSCH 21-5029            42   4  4  300 REAL BEER (859)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407      91  61  2  277 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
LUNGING ATTACK   FIGHTER ACE 47-1189        59  44  6  241 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
STRIKING ATTACK  KITALA THE BOLD 78-875     89 107  2  228 SAND DANCERS (848)
PARRY-LUNGE      SANDMAN 11-3923            61  57  2  223 ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)
BASHING ATTACK   KING FORADAY 47-3762       47  43  4  213 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
SLASHING ATTACK  BURGER KING 47-4152        35  30  3  200 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
TOTAL PARRY      TALOS 31-2069              57  30  0  198 THE STORMGUARDS (192)
PARRY-STRIKE     R'SHANN 20-577             58  46  3  194 OVERLORDS (371)

The overall popularity leader is KITALA THE BOLD 78-875.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was KITALA THE BOLD 78-875.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
ANGELOST 39-3415, JACK SPRAT 47-2954, SIR LY 10-4116, TASHIA 11-2740, DAIRY QUEEN 
47-2685, MIRTA 51-4033, STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948, HANNYA 73-4350, SANDMAN 11-3923, 
and MATADOR 11-4139.

The least popular fighter this week was SNOWFALL 45-3473.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SUNFLASH 45-3474, SHADE 47-983, PRINCE OF AR 31-3625, SIR PLUS 
10-4316, TZUKI MU 51-1610, NORM PETERSON 39-2745, MANNAZ THORSSON 73-4269, RANDOM 
MATCHUP 96-1048, JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407, and SANDBLASTER 11-3899.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  SUNSET(21)           2  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  2 0  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       4  3 0  FRATSFA(52)          0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             4  3 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       2  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  1 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          2  2 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       3  3 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  2 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       7  8 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SNOOPER 1-5154              45  22  3  210  MIKE'S MISFITS (793)       MORDANT
 PROWESS 2-5155              17  20  0   71  KNOT WHOLE (1092)          NIANIA
 KING RICHARD II 9-1976      42  43  1  174  BLUE BOAR INN (369)        ZUKAL
 SIR LY 10-4116              47  36  0  221  SIR AGLIO (716)            KOLACT
 SANDBLASTER 11-3899         59  58  3  241  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 R'SHANN 20-577              58  46  3  194  OVERLORDS (371)            SEAM
 GROLSCH 21-5029             42   4  4  300  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 TALOS 31-2069               57  30  0  198  THE STORMGUARDS (192)      CHIMLEVTAL
 EGAN FORN 39-3295           27  42  0  100  THE MIDDLE WAY (946)       XOCHITHLAN
 JUAN 41-2304                32  23  0  186  DREAM TEAMS (919)          KATI-TEI
 DEBBIE DAHMER 45-3579       30  12  1  135  MORDRED'S MADMEN (1015)    STORMCROWE
 JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407       91  61  2  277  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 TZUKI MU 51-1610            28  26  3  190  THE FELLOWSHIP (381)       TRICORUS
 DANNIA TYL SIO 52-3393      40  27  1  141  SAND DANCERS (942)         FRATSFA
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          15   8  0   69  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 WILLIE MAKIT 73-514        109  38  3  345  MISTAKEN IDENTITY (96)     ERINIKA
 KITALA THE BOLD 78-875      89 107  2  228  SAND DANCERS (848)         LIN TIRIAN
 RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048      15  10  3   95  OVERRATED (1044)           OLD VALAMANTIS

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)